VOL. 14, NO. 34 â€¢ AUGUST 24, 2017
CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
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VOL. 14, NO. 34 • AUGUST 24, 2017
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MORE THAN A PLACE TO READ
The Chattanooga Public Library recently crossed an amazing new threshold. In the past year, they have circulated over one million items to Chattanooga borrowers!
THE DEFENDERS ARRIVE ON THE SMALL SCREEN
Since the appearance of Daredevil on Netflix, Marvel has been following a pattern similar to the Cinematic Universe with its small screen properties. Just like the blockbusters, they’ve been largely hit and miss.
COMBINING CLASSIC FASHION AND COLLAGE
Chattanooga’s Lisa Michele Norris has created a line of fashion-savvy collages that are challenging the medium, and gaining national popularity.
HUSTLING AND BUSTLING WITH NATHAN WARNER
One night last September, Cleveland, Tenn. trumpeter Nathan Warner was playing a main stage performance at the Lisb-On Music Festival in Lisbon, Portugal with the hot disco-funk Brooklyn band Escort.
Photo by Ray Zimmerman
Look! Up In The Sky! It's A Bird! Birdwatching, or birding, is one of the most popular hobbies in the world. Millions of people of all ages and backgrounds enjoy watching and studying birds. At first, the satisfaction comes from being able to identify wild birds in their natural habitat by sight and or sound.
NEW IN THEATERS
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
ON THE BEAT
Our cover story is written by Kevin Hale, a freelance journalist and experienced internet and television marketer living in North Chattanooga. He also enjoys chasing flying saucers and saving bees with his 5-year old son.
Alex Teach is a California native and a 20+ year veteran police officer. He’s a street cop who found a cathartic outlet for rampant cynicism in the form of writing. “I have a front-row seat to the most disturbing show on earth.”
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BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE
More Than A Place To Read The Chattanooga Public Library offers so much beyond books By Alexis Waterman Pulse contributor
BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL
Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Adam Beckett Rob Brezsny • Kevin Hale Matt Jones • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Alexis Waterman Cover Photograph Dave Spicer Editorial Interns Kelley J. Bostian • Jessica Manning Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow
ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin
Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Brittany Dreon Rick Leavell • Libby Phillips Danielle Swindell • Logan Vandergriff
Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email email@example.com Website chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.
HE CHATTANOOGA PUBLIC LIbrary recently crossed an amazing new threshold. In the past year, they have circulated over one million items to Chattanooga borrowers! This means library patrons are actively checking out a broad selection of material throughout the system’s four neighborhood branches, borrowing more books, DVDs, and downloads than ever before. But there’s so much more to our public library system than simple borrowing. They’ve recently been selected as one of 50 libraries in the country to host “Thinking Money”, a traveling exhibition created by the American Library Association in partnership with the FINRA Investor Education Foundation. “Thinking Money” is designed to teach teens and the adults about financial literacy topics in a way that is not only understandable, but fun. Through an adventurethemed storyline, interactive iPad content and other fun activities, the exhibition explores themes such as wants vs. needs, preparing for a rainy/sunny day, avoiding financial fraud and imagining your future self. How about music? The library just built and opened The Studio, a professional recording studio in their downtown branch. It’s already home to a weekly live Facebook event, Music Wednesdays, and now they are teaming up with the pros at Dynamo Studios to offer audio engineering classes for teens and adults. Classes include live sound recording, full session recording, beat making and digital music, and acoustic guitars and singer songwriters. Looking for a new animal companion? Head over to the downtown library the first and third Tuesday of each month at 4 p.m. to read to a shelter animal. You can make
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a new friend while improving the lives of each and every animal that would love to see you. All the animals at McKamey Animal Shelter love reading, and who knows, you might find the perfect companion to adopt and make part of your life. Like all good libraries, they also take an interest in the lives of their patrons. The pressures families face in today’s busy world can be overwhelming. Erlanger’s Behavioral Health Team has partnered with the library to offer guidance and support through a new program this fall and winter: Family Stress: Solutions for Everyday Living. The next program, “Caregivers: Looking After Yourself Before You Look After Others”, is being held Thursday, Oct. 5 at 6 p.m. at the downtown library. Discussion will focus on what strategies caregiv-
ers can use to avoid becoming ill themselves. The meeting will also offer suggestions for grandparents who are raising children as well as for those in the “Sandwich” generation: people who are caring for both aging parents and their dependent children. But, of course, a library is always about books. And sometimes, they have to clear out space for new books. Which is why now through Monday at Eastgate Town Center, the Friends of The Chattanooga Public Library are holding their annual book sale. It’s not only a great way to get incredible deals on used books and more, but money raised from the book sale helps the library purchase program material for Make. Play. Read. Learn. and so much more.
Consider This with Dr. Rick
EdiToon by Rob Rogers
Tourney Of The Foxes Calleth Upon Thee If the everyday conveniences of modern technology are bogging you down, The Shire of Vulpine Reach invites you to travel back to a time where feudalism prevailed and nosegays were as common as chamber pots. For its 37th consecutive year, Chattanooga’s local chapter of The Society for Creative Anachronism hosts a weekend seeped in pre-17th century historical re-creation. If that isn’t exciting enough, six-fighter armored melee matches, fencing, and team based archery tournaments are open to the general public upon entry. Unlike a typical Renaissance Fair,
the Tourney of the Foxes allows you to learn about medieval European culture through participation. Local artisans will be demonstrating the sheer skill of their trades, merchants will be selling their goods to interested travelers, and bards will be gracing the populace with song and tale.
On Saturday afternoon, a very special presentation on falconry and its impact on medieval and modern history will be hosted by Harrison Bay park ranger Jordan Brison. When the midday sun begins to wear you out, a selection of “cool-dish” medieval feasts are available with “sharbart”, a medieval snowcone with historically accurate flavors. So, dust off that jester costume you’ve been keeping in storage and put your phone on airplane mode for a few days. A weekend of tournaments, exhibitions, and Shakespearean verbosity awaiteth thee. — Kelly J. Bostian
“At an audition for King Kong I was told I was too ‘ugly’ for the part. This was a pivotal moment for me. This one rogue opinion could derail my dreams of becoming an actress or force me to pull myself up by the boot straps and believe in myself. I took a deep breath and said, ‘I’m sorry you think I’m too ugly for your film, but you’re just one opinion in a sea of thousands and I’m off to find a kinder tide.’ Today I have 18 Academy Awards.” — Meryl Streep Such confidence and courage is inspiring! And helps us to remember that someone else’s opinion is just that: an opinion. It may or may not have merit, but that’s secondary to the real point. A true challenge—and healthy goal—in life is to be able to stand tall regardless. There will always be plenty of opinions. But are we insightful, confident and courageous enough to discern what’s helpful from what’s harmful? — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.
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COLUMN ∙ AIR BAG
The Secret Meanings Behind Automotive Accessories
Chances are, your intentions probably don’t match our perceptions about the driver. DUBS
David Traver Adolphus Pulse columnist
OU MAY VERY WELL BE WALKing around in pink sidewinders and a bright orange pair of pants, Billy Joel-style, thinking you are the bee’s knees. Other people, however, may be walking around wondering if there’s a Miami Vice musical casting call nearby. Likewise, while I think my mullet is a subtle and tasteful expression of my priorities in life, you may cross the street to avoid me. STANCE What it is: Ultra low cars with fat wheels and tires at negative camber (the tops stick way into the fenders). What you think it means: I am a VIP Initial D bosozoku bippu shakotan kaido racing fiend with demon camber. What you are actually saying: Actually, I think stance looks great but a lot of people (ie, everyone who isn’t part of StanceNation) absolutely hate it, because it’s pure looks over function. The haters say it ruins the lines and looks of some low-key cool cars, which is a personal matter; and that it completely destroys the ride and handling, which is objectively true. The fact is, every generation has a problem with the next generation’s hotrods, but not all of them make personal judgements
What it is: Originally specifically 20-inch wheels, soon referring to any oversize wheels. What you think it means: What up, playa? I got all the shorties up in this swanga whip. What you are actually saying: a/k/a donks (technically a car on dubs), you really, really liked Eminem’s 8 Mile and if you’d just been born a little less privileged and a lot more talented you too could have been the outsider rap god now making eight figures annually. Also, you spent all your money on wheels and tires and live in a van down by the river. CHROME What it is: Cr3 (or Cr6 if you want the good/deadly hexavalent stuff) is a metal with an atomic number of 24 that makes up 0.014% the earth’s crust. What you think it means: I am a person of wealth and distinction. Observe me and my Virginia Slim. What you are actually saying: I impulse buy at gas stations and auto parts stores. Underneath these peeling pieces of plastic are rust holes that I can’t afford/don’t care enough about even to slather Bondo over. Look at my fenders, people!
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Aren’t they magnificent? VENTIPORTS What it is: Buick introduced Ventiports, three or four ventilation holes in the hood, on the ‘49 Roadmaster. The big eight-cylinder got four on each side, the six got three. Buick has used them on and off ever since. What you think it means: I have graduated past stick-on bullet holes to stick-on fake holes. I am fancy. What you are actually saying: They were out of stick-on bullet holes, which is fine, because I’d really like to sell my 145,000-mile Cavalier and I’m pretty sure these hole things are going to get me like another $500. LIFTING What it is: Raising the ride height of a vehicle, usually a truck, through suspension modifications. What you think it means: I am
prepared to load my truck with Mountain Dew and go to the lake for some water skiing, then do some mudding before a bonfire on the beach with a live DJ. Also, Roll Tide! What you are actually saying: I have a micropenis. It’s actually a not-at-all funny medical condition, but that doesn’t make it any less humiliating. I’m drowning my sorrows in Natty Light and secretly hoping my huge unwieldy vehicle somehow veers off into a black hole which, even if it’s ever so briefly, stretches by body into an infinitely long piece of spaghetti, before I am consumed forever by the unknowable. Unless it’s a Jeep, in which case a 6” lift is perfectly fine. David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. Follow him on Twitter as @proscriptus.
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Look! Up In The Sky! It's A Bird! “Birders” have long known Chattanooga is a bird watching paradise Strory by Kevin Hale Photography by Dave Spicer
IRDWATCHING, OR BIRDING, IS ONE OF THE most popular hobbies in the world. Millions of people of all ages and backgrounds enjoy watching and studying birds. At first, the satisfaction comes from being able to identify wild birds in their natural habitat by sight and or sound. As you become a more experienced birder, you will realize birds have instincts we as humans do not. And if you start birding as a hobby, you will also soon realize our scenic city and the surrounding areas have some of the most diverse habitats to observe and learn from our feathered friends. “Most people start with a feeder in their backyard and watch hummingbirds from their window,” says Danny Gaddy, President of the Chattanooga Chapter of the Tennessee Ornithological Society and a past state president. “It doesn’t require a lot money and anyone can do it, especially young people.” Gaddy compares birding to a pastime made popular by millennials last year. “Think of it this way,” Gaddy says. “It’s just like Pokemon Go. That game took people outside to hunt computerbased creatures, but with birding, you find creatures natural to their habitat and are able to learn from them.” Another essential every birder should bring is binoculars. They will magnify the bird so you can more easily see their markings. Lightweight binoculars can be a beginning birder’s best friend.
Once you are properly equipped, you can pretty much start birding anytime. “It’s like a worldwide scavenger hunt,” says Kyle Simpson, Executive Director of Audubon Acres in Chattanooga. “You can do it all year and you can do it anywhere.” Simpson grew up in Galveston, Texas and used to work summer jobs with the National Park Service. He remembers seeing the migration and the great bird watching opportunities on the Gulf Coast every year. “When I moved here about five years ago, many of the birds transferred over better than the wildlife,” says Simpson. Now he heads one of the most diverse habitats for birds in the area. “Audubon Acres is unique because it’s easily accessible,” says Simpson. “You don’t have to travel very far to see a wide variety of birds.” South Chickamauga Creek at Audubon Acres is the perfect strategic streamside location with a mix of open meadows, pines, and hardwood forests. Here you can see migrating species such as thrushes, vireos, war-
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blers, tanagers, and flycatchers. Great horned, barred, and eastern screech owls are seen regularly. Red-shouldered hawks nest here, and it is the only known local nesting site for the state threatened sharp-shinned hawk. Even though you can watch birds all year round, spring and fall are the best time to see these migrating birds. “The birds seem to take their time more in the spring,” adds Simpson. “They aren’t in such a hurry to get to warmer climates as they are to get out of colder climates. They are in less of a rush.” The National Audubon Society has a rich and deep history of birdwatching, but joining any club will help the beginning birder. “When you’re around other educated people who have a passion for birds, you’re going to learn,” says David Stone, Programs Vice President for the TOS. The society brings in monthly speakers who share their birding experiences from around the regions and around the world.
“We have professors who track birds and update us on their status, “says Stone. “Some of our members take birding trips as far away as Australia, New Guinea, and South and Central America.” Stone recently retired as Superintendent of the Honors Golf Course in Ooltewah and recalls the event that got him interested in preserving birds and their habitat. “We were cleaning one summer and found two baby bluebirds,” recalls Stone. “We ended up raising them and they would come back every year and eat out of our hands. There is so much beauty in the birds here it’s hard to resist.” Another great location to delight in woodland birding and pristine hiking trails is the Reflection Riding Arboretum & Nature Center. With more than 300 acres to explore, the nature center offers birders an opportunity to witness Tennessee’s birds in the wild as well as an up-close and personal. Birds in the center’s wildlife wonderland have sus-
tained permanent injuries that prevent them from returning to the wild. Great horned owls, red-tailed hawks, barred owls, barn owls, and vultures are just a few of the nature center’s treasures. The Blue Heron Boardwalk provides an easy-to-navigate trek through peaceful wetlands where visitors can observe blue heron and other water fowl in their natural habitats. Citizen scientists also play a huge role in observing birds and their behavior. “Every year these citizen scientists will expand their circle centered on local hotspots like the Chickamauga Dam, Nickajack Lake or Hiwassee Refuge,” says Gaddy. “They collect data they can in turn give to scientists which can be helpful.” Scientists constantly analyze this data to figure out things that come instinctually to birds. “Birds know when to take cover,” adds Gaddy. “They can pick up on low sounds we can’t hear. One year when we had an active tornado season, many birds picked up and flew south to avoid any trouble.” Birding also provides its share of surprises and aberrations not easily explained. “I have seen birds who weren’t even supposed to be on this continent,” exclaims Gaddy. “The scissor-tailed flycatcher is a good example. It’s sup-
posed to be a western bird but we have been seeing them here the last couple of years for whatever reason.” Simpson remembers his Dad pointing out the bird when he was young. “The scissor-tailed flycatcher is more common where I’m from so rarity can be subjective,” adds Simpson.
preserving our local habitats to help endangered bird species. “The Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency will do what they call hacking, where they take the eggs of the bald eagle and raise them until they can be released in the wild,” says Stone. “They are also doing this with cranes
“It’s just like Pokemon Go. That game took people outside to hunt computer-based creatures, but with birding, you find creatures natural to their habitat and are able to learn from them.” The Golden-winged warbler is another beautiful bird whose numbers are dwindling. “Scientists are putting bands on them to track which trees they are nesting in,” says Gaddy. Gaddy can’t believe how much technology has advanced since he began birding in 1987. Cornell University launched Ebird in 2002, an online database where recreational and professional bird watchers can upload their findings to track birds all over the world. “The website will notify you when a certain bird is in your area,” says Gaddy. “Also you have to document this stuff because what’s there today may not necessarily be there tomorrow.” Which leads us to the importance of
to reestablish migration.” Scientists take great care not to let these birds imprint on humans so they can essentially identify as a bald eagle or crane once reintroduced into their respective habitat. “Some birds adapt well to captivity but many do not,” says Gaddy. “There is a current book out about Mozart’s tame Starling, which are considered an invasive species that shouldn’t even be on the European continent. However, if you learn about what a cool mimic and a cool pet the bird became for Mozart and for the author of the book, you view starlings in a very different way.” But beyond understanding bird habitat and helping to preserve it, most
beginning birders get into the hobby purely for entertainment. “A great way to recognize a particular bird is by their call,” says Simpson. “Then you’re like, oh yeah, that’s the bird that used to keep me up at night.” Even years later, experienced birders don’t forget some of the rare sights they have seen. “I remember being in Costa Rica and coming across a flashy bird called a Quetzal,” recalls Gaddy. “In terms of rarity, it was quite a find.” Simpson names the Black and White Warbler as his favorite bird in terms of beauty. “My favorite bird song comes from the Pileated Woodpecker,” adds Simpson. “Another favorite of mine is the Carolina Wren. They are super curious and a hoot to watch.” It’s taken a lifetime of learning for these experienced birders to recognize, specialize and enjoy the birds right outside their back door. As a beginning birder, don’t get discouraged. Start by learning the easy ones first and soon you’ll be surprised to realize that you know most of the birds that visit your feeder. “If you don’t know your birds, come with us and we will help you learn to identify by sight and by sound,” says Gaddy. “It is a bit magical to learn that there are so many interesting and varied species of birds right in your back yard.”
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FILM & TELEVISION
The Defenders Arrive On The Small Screen Latest Marvel television offering lacks weight, insight
A Palace Picture House Triple Feature As we learned in last week's State of the Arts issue, Chattanooga has become a fantastic place for fans of independent and off-the-beaten-path films, in large part due to the work of the folks at the Palace Picture House. And this week is no exception, as they present three very different films for your enjoyment. Shot entirely in 16mm, Person To Person effortlessly humanizes its characters, invoking an earnest realism in the performances of its ensemble cast: Michael Cera, Abbi Jacobson, Michaela Eatkins, and newcomer Bene Coopersmith. Writer/Director Duston Guy Defa demonstrates his aptitude for honest storytelling as he explores the absurdity and challenges of forging human connections. With The Untamed, a couple in a troubled marriage locate a meteorite, initiating an encounter with a mysterious creature. Their lives are turned upside down by the discovery of the creature, which is a source of both pleasure and destruction. And the final film, Martin Scorsese's Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World, Scorsese tells the story of guitarist Link Wray, who was the first to deploy thumping power chords and hone distortion, carving out a new guitar sound that influenced rock and roll forever. Using playful re-creations and little-known stories, alongside concert footage, audio archives, and interviews with living legends, this deeply insightful film cements how some of our most treasured artists and songs found their inspiration in ancient, native melodies and harmonies that were infused with a desire to resist. Person To Person, The Untamed, Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World See website for showtimes Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave., (423) 803-6578 www.chattpalace.com 10 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 24, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor
INCE THE APPEARANCE OF DAREDEVIL on Netflix, Marvel has been following a pattern similar to the Cinematic Universe with its small screen properties. Just like the blockbusters, they’ve been largely hit and miss. Daredevil roared to life in its first season, with a powerful villain and action sequences reminiscent of The Raid, stealing the character back from a failed Ben Affleck film with wild abandon. Jessica Jones, the follow-up to Daredevil, likely surpassed it in execution with strongly layered storytelling that brought the boozy hard-boiled detective to life and stayed largely true to the source material. Luke Cage followed, as a bulletproof hero introduced in Jessica Jones, managing to tell half
a solid story before getting bogged down by a poorly conceived supervillain bait and switch. Then, much like Luke Cage, the second season of Daredevil suffered from overstuffed villains, foregoing a compelling Punisher arc for the Hand, a boring society of ancient ninjas with muddied goals wrapped in an equally boring love interest for the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. Audiences got more ninja nonsense in Iron Fist, as well as a dumb characterization from Finn Jones, turning it into a show that seemed rushed and underwritten. This precipitous drop in quality didn’t bode well for The Defenders, the small screen Avengers event that’s been hyped for over a year now. While The Defenders isn’t quite as dull as Iron Fist, it never manages to soar the way a superhero team up should. As always, the heroes are only as good as the villains and these villains just aren’t all
FILM & TELEVISION
“For Daredevil fans, the Hand is an essential villain, steeped in rich mythology and tradition. But in the show, their menace is laughable.” that scary. The Hand has been a problem for the last two Defenders, screwing up their lives, killing their friends, and causing all sorts mayhem for New York’s back streets and alleys. The Hand was also a narrative problem for both because, no matter how hard the writers try, they come across as a little silly. They remind us, with good reason, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle villains the Foot Clan. This is because the Foot was a direct parody of the Hand—and like all good parodies, the original is effectively ruined. Yes, for Daredevil fans, the Hand is an essential villain, steeped in rich mythology and tradition. But in the show, their menace is laughable. The Defenders goes all in on the Hand as villains and the results are only so-so. Still, it’s fun to see our heroes
connect (or reconnect, in the case of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones), even if the results are sometimes mixed. Matt Murdock and Jessica Jones have a good amount of chemistry, thanks mostly to the acting chops of Charlie Cox and Krysten Ritter. But Danny Rand as the Immortal Iron Fist, is written as relatively weak and goofy, ruining a lot of the good will built up in the other shows. Luke Cage (Mike Colter) maintains his cool center, and spends a lot of time taking Rand down a peg, but the character is still far too off putting to ignore entirely. There are pacing problems with the show as well—it takes three episodes to get the main characters in a room together and there are only eight episodes in the season. There’s far too much exposition and backstory in the first two episodes—the showrunners need to trust that they have
a return audience, and that those new to the show are smart enough to figure things out. The actions sequences are fun enough, although the Kung Fu of Daredevil and Iron Fist outclass Jones, making her less useful in a street brawl. Cage is sometimes nigh immovable and other times bouncy as a rag doll, an annoying inconsistency in an already inconsistent world. Missing are the long shots in single takes that define the Daredevil series—and their absence is significant. There are, however, many fun one-liners and a decent amount of selfdeprecation—Jones’ assessment of the Daredevil costume is dead-on. In the end, the series is very average. I doubt any fan will hate it, especially if they were able to stomach Iron Fist. But Netflix (and Marvel, by extension) needs to take a hard look at these shows. What are the goals? Are they trying to tell a worthwhile story? Or are they trying to rack up their numbers through binge viewing? The last few outings feel a bit paint by numbers. If they keep it up, some might just stop watching.
✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴
All Saints Based on the inspiring true story of salesman-turnedpastor Michael Spurlock (John Corbett), the tiny church he was ordered to shut down, and a group of refugees from Southeast Asia. Together, they risked everything to plant seeds for a future that might just save them all. Director: Steve Gomer Stars: Cara Buono, John Corbett, Barry Corbin
Birth of the Dragon Set against the backdrop of 1960s San Francisco, the film is a modern take on the classic movies that Bruce Lee was known for. It takes its inspiration from the epic and still controversial showdown between an up-andcoming Bruce Lee and kung fu master Wong Jack Man. Director: George Nolfi Stars: Billy Magnussen, Philip Ng, Terry Chen
ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.
ChattanoogaHasCars.com THE TENNESSEE VALLEY’S MOST POWERFUL AUTOMOTIVE SHOPPING TOOL CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 11
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
Combining Classic Fashion And Collage Henna-Mehndi Art For The Soul If you’ve ever thought about designing a cool tattoo but weren’t sure if you wanted it permanently, you might remember experimenting with Scooby-Doo themed water tattoos as a kid. These widely available temporary tattoos are flimsy, cheap, and begin peeling within hours of application, a major disappointment for the aspiring tattoo artist. But luckily, there’s a middle ground. Henna, as it has become commonly referred to in western culture, creates a semi-permanent stain on the skin upon application lasting anywhere between one and three weeks. It has been used for millennium in a variety of diverse cultures, primarily for skin, hair, and furniture dye. The art of henna tattooing has been practiced for over 5,000 years, with some historians speculating it’s been in existence for over 9,000 years. Practiced in the Middle East, India, Pakistan, and Africa, henna tattoos adorned the bodies of the rich as well as the those of little means who could not afford jewelry, and instead used henna as their own decoration. Today, the skin-staining tattoo is used for momentous occasions like weddings, medicinal uses, and self-expression. Several cultures have perfected this technique, most notably the ancient Indians, who created palm based henna art known as Mehndi. On Monday, join Studio 4K to explore the history, science, and application of Mehndi, which will include a personal tube of henna to design your own temporary Mehndi tattoo. Scooby-Doo tattoo templates unfortunately won’t be provided. — Kelley J. Bostian Henna 101 Monday, 7 p.m. Studio 4K Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. facebook.com/Studio4KChattanooga 12 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 24, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Lisa Michele Norris takes classic fashion looks from the '40s, '50s and '60s and brings them to new artistic life
By Tony Mraz
HATTANOOGA’S LISA MICHELE NORris has created a line of fashion-savvy collages that are challenging the medium, and gaining national popularity. All of her fine collages are based on vintage clothing designs. For inspiration, she looks at old ads in magazines from the 40’s, 50’s, and 60’s, and references patterns from companies like McCall’s, Simplicity, and Butterick. She could give a lesson in fashion, telling us, “Lots of designs are coming back. Things from the ‘40s are really popular right now, like cut-outs in dresses that show the stomach or back. The long dress with a triangle cut-out is coming back around, along with rompers and jump suits.”
A lifetime artist, Lisa tells us, “I have always made art, and I have always had the desire to make a living at it, so all of the paths I’ve chosen, and decisions I’ve made over most of my adult life have been based on trying to make that happen.” She went to art school at Parsons School of Design, where she was determined to find her “blackboard”—her consistent style. She started out by selecting old fashion illustrations, and was inspired by reading her great-grandfather’s journal. Lisa’s great-grandfather, T.C. Thompson, was the mayor of Chattanooga for years. He was a neat man who wrote in journals, and kept a lot of records of growing up during the reconstruction. “He had an interesting perspective about women’s clothing,” she remembers. “He was born during the Civil War, and he thought it was sad
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
“I have always made art, and I have always had the desire to make a living at it, so all of the paths I’ve chosen, and decisions I’ve made over most of my adult life have been based on trying to make that happen.” that his mother and her friends had to share a bereavement dress. Women had to wear black when somebody died, and so many people were dying in the Civil War in the south that they had to pass a dress around because there wasn’t enough fabric. He thought that was pathetic.” She continues, “I have always cut and pasted and drawn, and it just made sense for me to use dress patterns as collage material—I thought it would be funny to make images of dresses out of the instructions of how to sew a dress.” Her fine collages start out with a pencil drawing, sometimes on wallpaper or floral print background. She begins to build the image, constructing it with paper, using the lines of the directions on the instructions. “I like the shapes, I like drawing, I like building it, making it come to life with paper.”
Dress pattern paper has all kinds of lines and instructions and writing on it. Lisa uses these to render her images. “When I get the paper wet with the glue, I can curve it and make it do what I want it to do—I don’t have to wait to find the right shape,” she elaborates. “It changes color when you layer it, giving it the feeling of fabric.” Speaking about her thought process, she tells us, “Making art is a compulsion—I have to make things. I’m a very organized person, and I like the arrangement of objects, colors, and lines. I try to create something out of nothing that is pretty—I want to create something that looks alive, that relates to everybody, something nostalgic for a lot of people. In a way, it is a feminist take on how people are about clothing. Though I make images of men’s
clothing, there is more weight to the women’s clothing. With all of the social pressure to be thin and pretty, I like to keep it fun, make it light and fluffy.” In addition to her fine art, Lisa does custom framing, and makes handmade books. For her books, she uses a modified pamphlet stitch, focusing on simplicity. These blank books are well made with heavy weight paper, vintage fabrics and old wallpapers. They are available locally at Blue Skies on Frazier Ave. Doing her own custom framing is a huge part of her presentation. When she’s not traveling, she works at Gannon Art Center in Brainerd. She col-
lects old frames and uses them to accentuate her art, and also uses them to make custom shadowboxes for people. Like many local professional artists, Lisa sells most of her art in other cities. She travels and does art festivals all over the country. She just got back from a festival in Sun Valley, Idaho, where Ernest Hemingway spent the last days of his life. Her next three shows are in Louisville, KY, Covington, LA, and Tuscaloosa, AL. Find her work on Facebook at Made By One Girl, Instagram @acenlouise, or on Etsy at etsy.com/shop/madebyonegirl.
Drink & Discover: The World of Fire and Ice
Chattanooga Museum Hop
The East Ridge Toy and Comic Book Expo
It's a special “adults only” night out at the Creative Discovery Museum. 7 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org
Come out and spend the day visiting six of our great local museums for one low price. 10 a.m. Various Locations (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com
Get your best cosplay out and head over to East Ridge for a day of fun. 10 a.m. East Ridge Community Center 1517 Tombras Ave. farleycon.com
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 13
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR
Cat On A Hot Tin Roof
THURSDAY8.24 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com Nature Nuts: Why Is That Turtle Beeping? 5 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org River Gorge Sunset Paddle 5:30 p.m. Tennessee River Gorge Trust 1214 Dartmouth St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Friends of the Park National Treasures 5:30 p.m. Point Park Point Park Rd. (423) 648-5623 friendsofchch.org Art Wise: Distinguished Speakers at the Hunter presents Wayne White 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968
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huntermuseum.org “Immigration: Where Are We Now?” 6 p.m. The Edney 1100 Market St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org 68 Kill 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Philly Plowden 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Drink & Discover: The World of Fire and Ice 7 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum
321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Mississippi Braves 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com RiffTrax Live: Doctor Who–The Five Doctors (re-broadcast) 7:30 p.m. East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 rifftrax.com Turn It Around: The Story of East Bay Punk 8 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com
ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT His observations & revelations about the human condition, mixed with stories from his own life, take an audience on a 200mph trip that could stop at any point along the journey. Philly Plowden The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
FRIDAY8.25 Kayak Tour: Sherman’s Crossing 9 a.m. North Chickamauga Creek Conservancy 5051 Gann Store Rd. (423) 752-5213 nps.gov/chch Chattanooga Museum Hop 10 a.m. Various Locations (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m. Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com “People Live Here” Noon Chattanooga Design Studio 719 Cherry St. (423) 664-4837 chattanoogastudio.com Tourney of The Foxes 5 p.m. Harrison Bay State Park 8411 Harrison Bay Rd. vulpinereach.org Cambridge Square Night Market 5 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesquaretn.com Cardboard Coverall Dreams: Artist Talk 6 p.m. Palace Picture House
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR
Lost In Yonkers 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com “Nature in All Its Glory” Showcase Reception 6:30 p.m. Gallery at Blackwell 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 648-8001 chattanoogaphoto.org Yoga On The Square 6:30 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesquaretn.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Mississippi Braves 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com Philly Plowden 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Cat On A Hot Tin Roof 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Person to Person 8 p.m.
Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Improv Showdown 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com The Long Game 10 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com The Untamed 10 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com
SATURDAY8.26 St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 The East Ridge Toy and Comic Book Expo 10 a.m. East Ridge Community Center 1517 Tombras Ave. farleycon.com Picking Up the Pieces: Long-Term Effects on the People Who Lived Here 10 a.m. Chickamauga & Chattanooga National Military Park 3370 Lafayette Rd.
Fort Oglethorpe, GA (423) 752-5213 nps.gov/chch Tourney of the Foxes 10 a.m. Harrison Bay State Park 8411 Harrison Bay Rd. vulpinereach.org Our Destiny Is His Legacy 10 a.m. Destiny Church of Chattanooga 3801 Brainerd Rd. destinychurchchatt.org River Market Yoga 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Homemade Soap Making 10:30 a.m. Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Teddy Bear Check Up 11 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m.
Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Farmer’s Market 11 a.m. Nutrition World 6237 Vance Rd. (423) 892-4085 nutritionw.com Lightfoot Club of Chattanooga vs Travellers Club of Brentwood Noon 6th Cavalry Museum 6 Barnhardt Cir. tennesseevintagebaseball.com CDEKid’s Talent Showcase 12:30 p.m. Archway On Glass 2523 Glass St. (423) 664-2954 archwayonglass.com Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World 2 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Lost In Yonkers 2:30 p.m. The Mars Theater 117 N. Chattanooga St. Lafayette, GA (706) 621-2870 bapshows.com Person to Person 4 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com The Untamed 6 p.m. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 15
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR
Chattanooga Area Historical Association: "Scopes Monkey Trial" Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com “Eat, Drink and Be Murdered” 6:45 p.m. The Colonnade Center 264 Catoosa Cir. Ringgold, GA (706) 935-9000 colonnadecenter.org Behind the Closed Door-A Dinner Cabaret 7 p.m. Archway On Glass 2523 Glass St. (423) 664-2954 archwayonglass.com Cat On A Hot Tin Roof 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Philly Plowden 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
SUNDAY8.27 Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Free Fiddle School 2 p.m. Fiddlers Anonymous
2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Jim Minick Reading 2 p.m. The Arts Building 301 E. 11th St. (423) 267-1218 southernlitalliance.org Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World 2 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Cat On A Hot Tin Roof 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5705 Uptain Rd. (423) 987-5141 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com The Untamed 4 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Bark-B-Q Boat Ride 4:30 p.m. Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 266-4488 chattanoogariverboat.com Person to Person 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Philly Plowden 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St.
16 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 24, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
(423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
MONDAY8.28 Red Bank Farmers Market 3 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 838-9804 Chattanooga Area Historical Association: "Scopes Monkey Trial" 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattlibrary.org Sierra Club Public Meeting 7 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Church 3224 Navajo Dr. (423) 624-2985 uucc.org
TUESDAY8.29 Rumble: The Indians Who Rocked the World 4 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Person to Person 6 p.m.
Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Celebrate Summer With Reading 6 p.m. Star Line Books 1467 Market St. (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com The Untamed 8 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Top Secret Tuesday 10 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com
WEDNESDAY8.30 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger East 10:30 a.m. Erlanger East Hospital 1751 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Market 4 p.m. 522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Rumble: The Indians Who
Rocked the World 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com “Stress Management Series: Dealing with Stress” 6 p.m. Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Benefit for “Happinest” ft. Karen Mills, Janet Williams, Jerry Harvey 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Person to Person 8 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Micro Wrestling Federation 9 p.m. Coyote Jacks Saloon 1400 Cowart St. (423) 668-6807 coyotejackssaloon.com The Untamed 10 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: firstname.lastname@example.org
FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY
Vodka: The Mother of All Mixers The humble potato has given us one of our most versatile spirits By Brooke Brown
Pulse Assistant Editor
PIKED LEMONADES, BLOODY Mary’s, screwdrivers, cosmopolitans. What could all these delicious beverages have in common? That clear goodness that is vodka. Originally used as medicine in Eastern Europe, vodka could do everything from disinfect a wound to drown your sorrows (and still can!). Who needs a doctor when you can whip up a Cosmo? Those of us Westerners who enjoy a nice vodka-based cocktail have Mr. Smirnoff himself to thank for the introduction of it to our side of the globe. After the Russian Revolution, all private distilleries in Moscow were seized and many Russian vodka-makers packed up their recipes and skills to emigrate to new places, one of which moved to Paris and began distilling under the French version of his family’s name, Smirnoff. He then met a Russian emigrant with whom he set up the first vodka distillery in the United States in 1934 and the rest is, well you know, history. It’s not a liquor of which you normally throw back shots—we’ll leave that to the tequila—but we Americans couldn’t fight the desire for the kick that comes with vodka. The all-around simplest mixer there is, vodka can perk up just about any drink you’ve got a hankering for. We may be doing it wrong, but mixing vodka with other alcohols, juices, mixers, and fruits make it the delicious company we know and love— and makes it much easier to handle than pure vodka in a shot glass. Unlike other liquors, vodka is unique in that it comes in a wide variety of flavors from sweet and fruity to spicy. Citrus, straw-
“We may be doing it wrong, but mixing vodka with other alcohols, juices, mixers, and fruits make it the delicious company we know and love” berry, cotton candy, cucumber, mango, habanero pepper, you name it, one vodka company or another has produced it. It’ll be summertime for who knows how long thanks to global warming so cool down with a spiked lemonade with either straight or flavored vodka. Citrus flavored vodka is of course a nice addition to plain ole lemonade, giving it just enough punch to remind you that you didn’t buy it for a quarter from your neighbor’s lemonade stand. Raspberry and strawberry would also make great additions, but habanero pepper? Not so much. Maybe try that in your Bloody Mary this weekend
as the perfect breakfast addition or hangover cure instead. Because apparently nothing cures a hangover like drinking more alcohol… And if you’re into vodka for breakfast, one, you might have some Russian ancestry to brush up on and two, the screwdriver should be your new breakfast buddy. But maybe only on the weekends. The original screwdriver is simply made with plain vodka and orange juice, but for a fancy screwdriver, use vanilla vodka to make yourself a cool, creamsicle-inspired screwdriver that will have you calling in on Monday so you can take part in breakfast vodka all over again.
Creamsicle Screwdriver (courtesy of thespruce.com) • 2 ounces of vanilla flavored vodka • 5 ounces of orange juice (preferably hand squeezed, but if not, find the purest, simplest OJ you can) • Orange slice for garnish Fill a Collins glass with ice, then combine vanilla vodka and orange juice in glass. Stir and stir and stir. Add orange slice for fancy decoration.
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 17
Hustling And Bustling With Nathan Warner Cleveland's own trumpeter takes on the music world
Kool Moe Dee Is A True Pioneer Of Rap According to Nielsen ratings, Rap and R&B have become the most dominant music genres in the U.S. for the first time in history this year. Yet, tt’s hard to imagine a time not too long ago when talented wordsmiths were only associated with poetry. We can thank early pioneers of the genre like Kool Moe Dee, who began his rap career under the alias “The Naughty Man of Music” in the late 70’s, and soon became the first solo rapper to win a Grammy award in 1989. He’ll be kicking off the first night of many of the Levitt Amp Chattanooga Music Series on the lawn of the Bessie Smith Cultural Center this Thursday with his kool beats. In 1986, after his group Treacherous Three disbanded, Kool Moe Dee began a prominent solo career and received platinum status for his second studio album How Ya Like Me Now, a song that we all know thanks to pop culture. Since then, the rapper has adopted his original “double time flow” rap style to various singles, including the now famous “Wild Wild West” remix with Will Smith in 1999. On Thursday night, Kool Moe Dee will be preforming his innovative rap style live with opener Tryezz (“Trez”), a local keyboard player with a flair for Jazz, Funk, and all things improvisational. Come witness one of the foundational pioneers of rap as he takes you back to a simpler time in the genres history, long before autotune and SoundCloud. — Kelley J. Bostian Kool Moe Dee Thursday, 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org 18 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 24, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
By Ernie Paik
NE NIGHT LAST SEPTEMBER, CLEVEland, Tenn. trumpeter Nathan Warner was playing a main stage performance at the Lisb-On Music Festival in Lisbon, Portugal with the hot disco-funk Brooklyn band Escort. The next day, he was on an early morning flight to Atlanta, arriving just in time to play a church gig 30 minutes away from the city. Nobody ever accused Warner of not hustling enough. “The Escort band members always make fun of my ability to hustle from one gig to the next. I actually spent only 20 hours in Lisbon,” said Warner.
“The show in Lisbon was amazing. The European crowds are always a treat. Unlike American audiences, they don’t wait to be impressed before they start having fun.” Warned added, “They’re determined to party despite your music if need be. But, if you bring something great, they readily show their appreciation.” Warner’s shows with Escort—of which there are typically a few per year—are among his favorites, and he named his very first trip to Lisbon with the group as his all-time favorite international gig. “During the performance, the crowd knew all the words to our music and was singing along. It was an amazing surprise for all of us,” said Warner. “This was our last stop on a long summer string of
“I try to do it all,” I get bored if I play any one thing or style for too long. That’s what made Broadway tough for me.” dates, so we rented a beach house on the coast in Cascais and cooked and swam and had an amazing few days together as a band at the end of that tour.” Warner moved to Cleveland with his wife in 2014 from New York City to take a position as Assistant Professor of Trumpet and Music Business at Lee University, and Warner admits that it was a culture shock. “I miss the food. Incredible restaurants on every corner,” remembered Warner. “I miss the people. Lots of strong-willed, artistic, opinionated music-warriors out that way. It’s what made me have to go there in the first place. I don’t miss the insane rent prices; I don’t miss the winters; I don’t miss the noise pollution.” As for Cleveland, it surprised Warner in many ways. “Lee University is a hidden gem; I’m working hard to make sure people know that it is a really good music school,” he noted. “Also, I was struck by how ‘un-Christian’ some of the Christians were, and by how Christian some of the non-Christians were. That has helped me on my own
spiritual path, to be sure.” A versatile trumpeter, Warner plays jazz, classical, Broadway, rock, pop or anything that comes his way as a freelancer. “I try to do it all,” said Warner. “I get bored if I play any one thing or style for too long. That’s what made Broadway tough for me.” Warner has performed on Broadway shows including Aladdin, Gypsy and Spider-Man. “I really admire those cats who can play the same show every night for years,” he said. “It takes a lot of patience and dedication.” Regarding national acts, he’s played with Lady Antebellum, Doc Severinsen, The Temptations, The Four Tops, Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Clay Aiken and many others. Closer to home, Warner has sat in with the Chattanooga Symphony, the Knoxville Jazz Orchestra, the Nashville Salsa Machine and the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra, among others. A founding member of the NYCbased Sugartone Brass Band, Warner
photo: Arlyne Van Hook
has composed a number of tunes for the group. “Think of a New Orleansstyle brass band that has folded in many other styles from the cosmopolitan NYC environment,” he explained. “It’s an amazing group that is really pushing the limits of what a brass band can do.” In his own education, Warner found inspiration from many trumpeters and learned something different from each of them. “Dizzy [Gillespie] exemplified joy. Miles [Davis]: elegance and economy,” he noted. “Freddie [Hubbard]: FIRE. Louis [Armstrong]: give your everything to the audience. Bud Herseth: find your voice and be fearless. Phil
Smith: do it better than anyone and be a humble servant while doing so.” When it comes to Warner’s own students, he approaches the topic of improvisation, along with other various music skills, according to the strengths and “future-strengths” of the student. “It’s definitely an important skill,” he said. “Especially when making a living doing just one thing has become harder and harder as an American musician.” Whether hustling from continent to continent or filling in for an orchestra gig or figuring out how to best guide a student, Warner finds improvisation in his career straddling both music and life.
Rahsaan Barber Band
Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit
Rahsaan Barber's sound encompasses a range of musical styles including jazz, blues, funk, fusion, salsa and soul. 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org
Americana, Southern Soul, and Rock & Roll all rolled into one. Time to get on your feet and groove! 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com
Singer-songwriter who combines her love of keyboards, synth and acoustic guitar with world aware messaging. 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd.
CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19
LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR
THURSDAY8.24 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Kool Moe Dee 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org Singer Songwriter Series 7 p.m. Fiamma Pizza Company 405 N. Market St. fiammapizzacompany.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Rahsaan Barber Band 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Diarrhea Planet, Futurebirds 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Keepin’ It Local
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8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Old School Party With A Purpose 9 p.m. The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Open Mic Night with Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com
FRIDAY8.25 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Bluetastic Fangrass 6 p.m. Cambridge Square Night Market 9453 Bradmore Ln. chattanoogamarket.com La Arrolladora Banda El Limon 7 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. tnaqua.org KP and the Boom Boom, Sistren 7 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com The Fairview Union 7 p.m.
Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson 7720 Lee Hwy. thundercreekharley.com Bessie’s Big Nine Revue ft. Noel Gourdin 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org Frank Hurd Band, Caney Creek Company 8 p.m. The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com The Gosh Darns 8 p.m. The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy 153 hixson.thecasualpint.com Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Same As It Ever Was 9 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Hush Money 9 p.m. Coyote Jacks 3530 Cummings Hwy. coyotejackssaloon.com Hadley Kennary 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way
puckettsgro.com Twin Bridges, Matthew Paul 9 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Throttle 21 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com
SATURDAY8.26 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Heidi Holton 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Southern Brewers Festival 2 p.m. Ross’s Landing Park 101 Riverfront Pkwy. southernbrewersfestival.org Siskin StarNight: Sheila E. 6 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. siskin.org WarClown, Hunting Humans, Genki Genki Panic 6 p.m.
LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR
KP and the Boom Boom Spot Athletic+Arts+Venue 3210 Brainerd Rd. spotvenue.co Convertibull 6 p.m. Embargo 62 301 Cherokee Blvd. embargo62.com Pauline Pisano 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Eric Turner 8 p.m. The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy 153 hixson.thecasualpint.com Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Natural Wonder: The Stevie Wonder Experience 9 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co The Ham Family 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Hush Money 9 p.m. Coyote Jacks 3530 Cummings Hwy. coyotejackssaloon.com Forever Broken, Sinema, Sam Killed the Bear 9 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggys 607 Cherokee Blvd.
ziggysbarandgrill.net Three Star Revival 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Live Music 10 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Throttle 21 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com
SUNDAY8.27 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd.
seerockcity.com Kyle Nachtigal 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Dr. B & The Ease 12:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Kofi Mawuko 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Threadbare Skivvies 1:30 p.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Martin Rodriguez 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion
1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Monthly Jazz Jam 3 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Maria and Josh Sable 7 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Mathis & Martin 7 p.m. The BackStage Bar 29 Station St. (423) 629-2233 Beverly Tender, Miss Memory, Company to
THE PULSE MUSIC SPOTLIGHT Four great bands—The Magpie Salute, Rainbow Kitten Surprise, Cereus Bright, and Hank & Cupcakes—and over 30 breweries all in one place. Perfection! Southern Brewers Fest Saturday, 2 p.m. Ross’s Landing Park 101 Riverfront Pkwy. southernbrewersfestival.org
Keep, Misadventures 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
MONDAY8.28 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Iron & Wine 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Devon Gilfillian 8 p.m. Sing It or Wing It 410 Market St. singitorwingitchattanooga.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com
Rainbow Kiten Surprise
Danimal 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots
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LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR
Mighty Sideshow 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Courtney Holder 7 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Open Mic Jam Session 7 p.m. Crust Pizza 3211 Broad St. crustpizza.com Faculty Piano Recital ft. Peter Cooper 7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University 4881 Taylor Cir. (423) 236-2880 southern.edu Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com
WEDNESDAY8.30 Ode to Autumn 3 p.m. Mad Knight Brewing Co. 4015 Tennessee Ave. madknightbrewing.com Toby Hewitt 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com The Other Guys 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com
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Bike Night with Eric & Eric 6 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Old Time Fiddle & Banjo Show 6:30 p.m. Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Amber Carrington 7 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Jazz In The Lounge 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Mighty Sideshow 9 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: email@example.com
RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ADAM BECKETT
Sour Lemonade, Kyle MacKillop
Sour Lemonade How to Date a Mink Soundtrack (Bandcamp)
ometimes when scouring back alleys in an attempt to discover local music, I stumble upon some hidden magical sounding tunes. When I landed on the How to Date a Mink Soundtrack by Sour Lemonade, I was certain that I was misled by the internet. Upon further review, Sour Lemonade turned out to be a legitimate Chattanooga music maker, so I decided to give it a listen to see what it was all about. As the groovy mystic blared through the speakers, I sat with a blank stare, in disbelief,
Kyle MacKillop A Bigger Sky (Bandcamp)
that something titled How to Date a Mink Soundtrack could have authentic daily listenable value, but it absolutely does. Do not judge a book by its cover applies to all things in life, especially this album. The all instrumental album is remarkable. Each song holds its own unique flow, and is skillfully produced. It is the kind of album that a person can hit play on and carry on, no need to worry about track management for its duration. The change of pace from track to track is baffling. The How to Date a Mink
Soundtrack starts off with a chill heady acoustic vibe with the track “Shop”, but by the third song “Action!”, it has transferred to a gnarly headbobbing electronic dance music track, with a funky horn sound and some nasty bass, then transfers back into overall great funky-sounding music that is fitting for all occasions. Discovering this August album release has led me on the path to discover the rest of Sour Lemonade’s amazing pre-existing albums. Knocking on the Floor, Give in to Luck, and Clubs and Spades (deluxe), all are astonishing albums that are good from start to finish. Chattanooga, we owe this artist an apology for sleeping on him for so long. Do yourself a favor and awaken your spirit to the artist that is Sour Lemonade. I am still wondering how this music has bypassed my radar for so long.
he musical abilities that pour from Kyle MacK-
illop’s soul, being, and vocal chords in his album A Bigger Sky is impressive, to say the least. Amidst his alternative Indy folk rock, his talent seemingly derives from a vast understanding of life in general. Through his lyrics he demonstrates a tremendous ability to relate to people, particularly the thing in their chest that thumps; their heart beat. This is a truly powerful musician, and a prime example of why Chattanooga gets national mention as a up and coming powerhouse music scene. Kyle MacKillop knows how to grab a listener and hold them for as long as he wants. He has the ability to make people look deep inside of their selves, to reflect on life, love, growth. He will make them laugh, cry, smile, and shiver; and bob their head to the rhythm of the extension of his spirit which is his music. That is what music is supposed to do. Music is supposed to bypass eardrums
and dive straight for the soul; to be felt, and to make people feel alive. This breath-taking display of true, pure music should be in any music lovers collection. Every song on the album is as powerful as the next, and each one is a contender for best song on the album. “Older”, “Don’t Trust Your Love”, “Black Water”, and “Every Now and Again” are all prodigious tracks. Where music is alive and well, it is often watered down, and can come from a place of ill-gotten motivation. People are doing it for the wrong reason, therefore, it can lose its potency. It is because of artists like Kyle MacKillop that music has purity left in it. This young troubadour pours his heart and soul out into this album, and the final product is raw, uncut, beautiful, poetic music. Solid soul music, straight from Chattanooga. Stop what you’re doing and go listen to this album. You won’t regret it for a moment.
Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits
everywhere. every day.
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
The List Who Has The Most Workers? ROB BREZSNY
With unemployment at nearrecord lows, both nationally and here in Tennessee, chances are you have a job. But have you ever wondered which companies (not counting the federal government) have the most employees in the United States? We did, so we checked with our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute to find out. 1. Walmart: 1,500,000 2. McDonald’s: 420,000 3. Kroger: 400,000 4. IBM: 377,757 5. The Home Depot: 371,000 6. UPS: 362,000 7. Target: 347,000 8. Amazon: 341,000 9. Berkshire Hathaway: 316,000 For those that are curious, the federal government is the single largest employer in the country, with 2,711,000 working for dear old Uncle Sam. And as a side note, Berkshire Hathaway is the company owned by billionaire Warren Buffet. One can only imagine what their Christmas party is like each year. Source: statisticbrain.com/u-s-largestemployers-list-2017/
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): What I wish for you is a toasty coolness. I pray that you will claim a messy gift. I want you to experience an empowering surrender and a calming climax. I very much hope, Virgo, that you will finally see an obvious secret and capitalize on some unruly wisdom and take an epic trip to an intimate turning point. I trust that you’ll find a barrier that draws people together instead of keeping them apart. These wonders may sound paradoxical, and yet they’re quite possible and exactly what you need. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Psychologist James Hansell stated his opinion of psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud: “He was wrong about so many things. But he was wrong in such interesting ways. He pioneered a whole new way of looking at things.” That description should provide good raw material for you to consider as you play with your approach to life in the coming weeks, Libra. Being right won’t be half as important as being willing to gaze at the world from upside-down, inside-out perspectives. So I urge you to put the emphasis on formulating experimental hypotheses, not on proving definitive theories. Be willing to ask naive questions and make educated guesses and escape your own certainties. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You’re entering a phase of your astrological cycle when you’ll be likely to receive gifts at a higher rate than usual. Some gifts could be big, complex, and catalytic, though others may be subtle, cryptic, or even covert. While some may be useful, others could be problematic. So I want to make sure you know how important it is to be discerning about these offerings. You probably shouldn’t blindly accept all of them. For instance, don’t rashly accept a “blessing” that would indebt or obligate you to someone in ways that feel uncomfortable.
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You are currently under the influence of astrological conditions that have led to dramatic boosts of self-esteem in laboratory rats. To test the theory that this experimental evidence can be applied to humans, I authorize you to act like a charismatic egomaniac in the coming weeks. JUST KIDDNG! I lied about the lab rats. And I lied about you having the authorization to act like an egomaniac. But here are the true facts: The astrological omens suggest you can and should be a lyrical swaggerer and a sensitive swashbuckler. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I invite you to eliminate all of the following activities from your repertoire in the next three weeks: squabbling, hassling, feuding, confronting, scuffling, skirmishing, sparring, and brawling. Why is this my main message to you? Because the astrological omens tell me that everything important you need to accomplish will come from waging an intense crusade of peace, love, and understanding. The bickering and grappling stuff won’t help you achieve success even a little—and would probably undermine it. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Stockbrokers in Pakistan grew desperate when the Karachi Stock Exchange went into a tailspin. In an effort to reverse the negative trend, they performed a ritual sacrifice of ten goats in a parking lot. But their “magic” failed. Stocks continued to fade. Much later they recovered, but not in a timely manner that would suggest the sacrifice worked. I urge you to avoid their approach to fixing problems, especially now. Reliance on superstition and wishful thinking is guaranteed to keep you stuck. On the other hand, I’m happy to inform you that the coming weeks will be a highly favorable time to use disciplined research and rigorous logic to solve dilemmas. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the coming days, maybe you could work some lines from the Biblical “Song of Solomon” into your intimate exchanges. The moment is ripe for such extravagance. Can you imagine saying things like, “Your lips are honey,” or “You are a fountain in the garden, a well of living waters”? In my opinion, it wouldn’t even be too extreme for you to murmur, “May I find the scent of your breath like apricots, and your whispers like spiced wine flowing smoothly to
Homework: Each of us has a secret ignorance. What’s yours? What will you do about it? Testify at Freewillastrology.com welcome my caresses.” If those sentiments seem too flowery, you could pluck gems from Pablo Neruda’s love sonnets. How about this one: “I want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees.” Here’s another: “I hunger for your sleek laugh and your hands the color of a furious harvest. I want to eat the sunbeams flaring in your beauty.” ARIES (March 21-April 19): Welcome to Swami Moonflower’s Psychic Hygiene Hints. Ready for some mystical cleansing? Hint #1: To remove stains on your attitude, use a blend of Chardonnay wine, tears from a cathartic crying session, and dew collected before dawn. Hint #2: To eliminate glitches in your love life, polish your erogenous zones with pomegranate juice while you visualize the goddess kissing your cheek. #3: To get rid of splotches on your halo, place angel food cake on your head for two minutes, then bury the cake in holy ground while chanting, “It’s not my fault! My evil twin’s a jerk!” #4: To banish the imaginary monkey on your back, whip your shoulders with a long silk ribbon until the monkey runs away. #5: To purge negative money karma, burn a dollar bill in the flame of a green candle. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A reader named Kameel Hawa writes that he “prefers pleasure to leisure and leisure to luxury.” That list of priorities would be excellent for you to adopt during the coming weeks. My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you will be the recipient of extra amounts of permission, relief, approval, and ease. I won’t be surprised if you come into possession of a fresh X-factor or wild card. In my opinion, to seek luxury would be a banal waste of such precious blessings. You’ll get more healthgiving benefits that will last longer if you cultivate simple enjoyments and restorative tranquility. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The coming weeks will be an excellent time to cruise past the houses where you grew up, the schools you used to attend, the hotspots where you
and your old friends hung out, and the places where you first worked and had sex. In fact, I recommend a grand tour of your past. If you can’t literally visit the locations where you came of age, simply visualize them in detail. In your imagination, take a leisurely excursion through your life story. Why do I advise this exercise? Because you can help activate your future potentials by reconnecting with your roots. CANCER (June 21-July 22): One of my favorite Cancerian artists is Penny Arcade, a New York performance artist, actress, and playwright. In this horoscope, I offer a testimonial in which she articulates the spirit you’d be wise to cultivate in the coming weeks. She says, “I am the person I know best, inside out, the one who best understands my motivations, my struggles, my triumphs. Despite occasionally betraying my best interests to keep the peace, to achieve goals, or for the sake of beloved friendships, I astound myself by my appetite for life, my unwavering curiosity into the human condition, my distrust of the status quo, my poetic soul and abiding love of beauty, my strength of character in the face of unfairness, and my optimism despite defeats and loss.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The Witwatersrand is a series of cliffs in South Africa. It encompasses 217 square miles. From this area, which is a tiny fraction of the Earth’s total land surface, humans have extracted 50 percent of all the gold ever mined. I regard this fact as an apt metaphor for you to meditate on in the next 12 months, Leo. If you’re alert, you will find your soul’s equivalent of Witwatersrand. What I mean is that you’ll have a golden opportunity to discover emotional and spiritual riches that will nurture your soul as it has rarely been nurtured. Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.
JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES
“Evenly Spaced”—it matches up. ACROSS 1 Prefix before “feasance” 4 Give a head signal to 9 Father of Beau and Jeff 14 Historical time period 15 Historical time period 16 Having a roof overhang 17 Colorado national park near the Four Corners region 19 Coeur d’___, Idaho 20 Where Starbucks stores used to pop up, hyperbolically 22 Dress seen in Bollywood movies 23 “___ Nutsy’s Clubhouse” (kids’ show in “UHF”) 25 Electrifying fish 28 Calgary’s prov. 30 Hamburger’s home? 32 Fictional TV locale you can actually visit in Mount Airy, N.C. 36 Bowler’s target 37 Like the river, in an Olivia NewtonJohn song title
38 Morgan Freeman, in “Bruce Almighty” 39 Business management plans involving Internet platforms, e.g. 42 Neck of the woods 43 Queen ___ (JayZ’s spouse, to fans) 44 Superman’s symbol, in crosswords 45 Tortilla chip condiment 47 Elton John/ Tim Rice musical 51 Yellow, blue, and red national symbol flown over Quito 57 ___ Martin (British car company) 59 People, collectively 60 Granola bar variety 61 3501, to Nero 62 Imagine Peace Tower creator Yoko 63 Unfinished statue? 64 Brewer’s supply 65 Hardtop substance DOWN 1 Bulletin board postings 2 Football venue 3 “Pointer” that
drives cats nuts 4 Actress Campbell of the “Scream” series 5 Abbr. on a phone’s “0” button 6 “Finding ___” (2016 film) 7 “Ballbreaker” band 8 Vincent van Gogh’s brother 9 Recording star Rimes 10 International breastfeeding advocacy “league” since 1956 11 Supersized, like a personality 12 Osaka money 13 ‘50s political monogram 18 “___ to a Kill” (1985 Bond film) 21 Actress/activist who was married to Ossie Davis for over 50 years 24 Continental currency 26 Sinus specialists, for short 27 Toy-filled takeaway for a kids’ birthday party guest 28 America’s largest multi-level marketing company
29 Cafe au ___ 31 “The Madcap Laughs” singer Barrett 32 Rows of seats 33 Only a single time subsequently 34 “Golf ball coming!” 35 Asks for table scraps, like Fido 36 School advisory group 40 Word in the seventh Harry Potter book title 41 “Wicked Game” singer Chris 46 Brand retired by Panasonic in 2012 48 Green Day’s “American ___” 49 Designer Karan 50 Fervor 52 George Takei exclamation 53 Be furious 54 Watson of “Beauty and the Beast” 55 Dishonorable scoundrels 56 College course division 57 Do something 58 “Homeland” network, for short
Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 846 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 24, 2017 • THE PULSE • 25
COLUMN ∙ ON THE BEAT
It's Simple: Rules, Not Feelings Officer Alex on the slippery slope of fighting against what you don't like
T’S OVER. THE AUGUST 12TH RALLY in Charlottesville in which one group of a-holes planned to have a rally to “unite the right” was met head on by a diametrically opposed different set of a-holes who felt the need to tell them that they were apparently…a-holes. Police in that city addressed the situation by asking these two groups to stay in specific areas so that they could “peacefully assemble and exercise their rights of free speech.” But in short order, the constabulary found out that a-holes, by their very nature, tend not to follow “rules,” and chaos literally erupted. Illinois Nazis brought shields, sticks, and tiki torches (re-read that if you care to) and the manbun-and-sandals Antifa crowd wore masks, brought sticks, pepper spray and bottles of stale piss (don’t re-read that if you care not to) because what better way is there to fight ideas you disagree with than to put on a mask and throw piss at people? One person was killed and dozens were injured at this event, and so disgusted were people around the country (and even the world), that they decided the smart thing to do was to try to duplicate that event by hosting another one here locally five days later. Because, “feelings.” (Does it seem stupid when it is put that way? Bananas seem yellow too when you see them fresh because they are. They’re both normal reactions.) In Chattaboogie, we’re no strangers to
rallies. I’m not talking about the tens of people that participated in the mass-camping on the lot of the County Courthouse during the “Occupy Wall Street” days in a show of solidarity against…something. I’m talking about our own NSM rally in April of 2014 when the same subset of a-holes also got a permit, barriers were erected, and they shouted Nazi things with a Nazi loudspeaker and everybody went home neither dead nor smelling like someone threw stale piss on them. Was there a counter-rally? Sure. But apart from a hundred or so people trying to over-shout the loudspeakers, the counter rally was held across town. Why? Because they knew that two groups of intolerant a-holes getting together was a recipe for disaster, “feelings” or not. What has this on my mind this week isn’t the underlying disappointment in the persistent idea some have that the tenets of National Socialism are still somehow viable; no. What’s on my mind is how people are legitimizing lawlessness because if you’re fighting Nazis, there are no rules. And how do you determine if someone is a Nazi in 2017? It’s whoever disagrees with you. Period. Do members of the NSM also have a right to free speech? You’re a Nazi. Is there photographic evidence of that infamous grey Charger being struck by a ball bat by the
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“What’s on my mind is how people are legitimizing lawlessness because if you’re fighting Nazis, there are no rules.” crowd before the driver took that horrific plunge into the crowd? You’re a Nazi. Do you believe Mojo Burrito is a bad place to scream at your coworker on the clock about their support of statues of dead generals? Nazi. Because if you have a different opinion or views, you are automatically on the side of the opposition. And if you are declared a Nazi, why…there are no rules. You can do whatever you want to that person, because this is now the beaches of Normandy on D-Day. This is now the Warsaw Ghetto; it is exactly like our grandfathers and great-grandfathers battle against Himmler, even if Himmler now apparently rides a moped and has peace sign tattoo’s on his arm and only herds people into burrito joints instead of death camps. Because “feelings.”
In short, it’s the legitimization of violence for the most daft of reasons that’s on my mind. And it isn’t right. In fact, it’s a mob-mentality and it’s getting a green light in the mainstream media, and it makes it harder for people to be safe, and that is my business. I’ve protected the Occupy crowd from opposition. I’ve protected the Nazi crowd from opposition. But I’ve done so based on a set of rules—and there are people now determined to make their own. It’s not complicated: Rules, Not Feelings. This literally is not Hitler Germany. I mean, you wouldn’t disagree…would you? Because if not, you wouldn’t want me making up the rules, would you? When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.
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