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MAY 17, 2018








EDITORIAL Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny Steven W. Disbrow Matt Jones Robyn Wolfe Fogle Mike McJunkin Tony Mraz Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Terry Stulce Michael Thomas Cartoonists Max Cannon Jen Sorenson Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Jeff Camp Rick Leavell Cindee McBride Libby Phillips Danielle Swindell

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THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2018 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Get ready, Chattanooga! Our city is about to be saturated with thousands of athletes, tourists and spectators arriving for the 2018 Sunbelt Bakery IRONMAN 70.3 Chattanooga presented by McKee A Family Bakery.





I have always been content to be a blue dot in a sea of red. When George W. Bush got his wild hair to invade Iraq, 82 percent of Americans were supportive of this fiasco. I was not.

CONTACT Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email Website Facebook @chattanoogapulse

The Volunteers Of IRONMAN 70.3


What can I tell you about Lon Eldridge that hasn’t already been said a dozen times? He’s a local treasure, one of the most talented and authentic artists in the region.


A single glance at one of Michael Salter’s drawings is all that it takes to know that he is a consummate draftsman. A similar thing can be said for any of his paintings, illustrations, comics, designs, and for his drumming.


For a significant amount of my childhood, it seems like karate was everywhere. On TV, I didn’t hear much about styles or historic martials arts.












Op-Ed: On Being A Liberal In A Red State

The trials and tribulations of being a political minority By Terry Stulce Pulse contributor

I was proud to be in the minority then and even felt that status was a validation of my own perception.”


HAVE ALWAYS BEEN CONTENT TO BE A BLUE DOT IN A sea of red. This was compatible with my contrarian nature. When George W. Bush got his wild hair to invade Iraq, 82 percent of Americans were supportive of this fiasco. I was not. I was perfectly happy to be a member of the 18 percent club who recognized this invasion to be an unmitigated disaster.

I was proud to be in the minority then and even felt that status was a validation of my own perception. (Trump claimed to be a member of the 18 percent club but like most of his claims, it has no basis in fact.) Over the years, conservatives have perfected the techniques of “double speak”. They do really horrible things that are destructive and antithetical to the needs of the American people, then create a label that sounds innocuous or even beneficial. They want “limited government” which entails dismantling any assistance to the poor


or those in need and giving that money to the rich. “Deregulation” means allowing rich multinational corporations to foul the air we breathe and the water we drink and to destroy our natural resources. At the same time, these multinationals will be free to mislead, defraud, and abuse American citizens without recourse to consumer protection. “Entitlement reform” means slashing Medicaid, turning Medicare into a worthless voucher program, and ending Social Security. Hungry American children will have to skip a few meals.

When faced with higher rent, low income families will have to relocate to the street. The disabled elderly will join them there after being expelled from nursing homes because of a lack of funding. The savings will be funneled into tax cuts for the rich, corporate welfare, and high tech military paraphernalia. However, the dishonesty, greed, and soullessness of the Republicans are just background noise for this Liberal. The real test is during elections when every conservative politician takes to the airwaves to blather about their third grade level promises. This year’s winner of the Conservative Blowhard Award is a close race between Randy Boyd and Diane Black. Both rely on racist “dog whistles” to appeal to whites. This is certainly no surprise since their President’s appeal to white voters was blatantly racist. To hear Boyd and Black, you would think that Tennessee is being overrun by “illegal” immigrants. The only immigrants I have seen were out in the hot sun, bent double, picking strawberries in Rhea County. (I am wondering who will pick those berries when all of our immigrants are required to have a Ph.D ?) In a TV advertisement, Boyd appears between two burly white policeman talking “law and order”. This is a chilling message to our African-Americans to forego “driving while black”. Black’s appeal to veterans makes this veteran want to throw up. She perpetrates the fraud that she supports veterans and vice versa. Black and Boyd’s political ads appeal to the worst elements of human nature. They seem to believe that Tennesseans are ignorant bigots. I hope they are wrong. Terry Stulce served two combat tours in Vietnam, one with the 101st Airborne and one with the 69th Border Rangers. He was an LCSW and owner of Cleveland Family Counseling before his retirement in 2009.

Cons ider This w ith Dr. Rick

“The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others. And the moment you are unafraid of the crowd you are no longer a sheep. You become a lion. A great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.” — Osho

Have A Slice, Change A Life Benefitting the Food Bank one slice at a time It seems there is a national holiday for just about anything these days. We’ve got National Kiss a Ginger Day, Be Kind to Lawyers Day, Wear Pajamas to Work Day, and many more outlandish holidays that will have you wondering if you’re a spoilsport for not participating. (Not everything requires celebrating, but let’s agree to be kind to lawyers every day because they’re people too!) One holiday that abso-freakinglutely deserves to be celebrated is

National Pizza Party Day. Yes, that’s right, there is an entire day dedicated to partying with pizza that makes me feel slightly less bad for eating it four out of seven nights a week. Douglas Heights Bakery has taken it upon themselves to not only sponsor a rockin’ pizza party for the community, but also to benefit the Chattanooga Area Food Bank. This Friday starting at 5:30 p.m., Douglas Heights Bakery will be selling pizza by the slice or by the pie if you feel so inclined, and party participants are encourage to bring

non-perishable items to donate. If you’d rather donate cash over non-perishables, monetary donations are gladly accepted and sources at the Chattanooga Area Food Bank may be able to “leverage their buying power” and make four meals out of just $1. That’s a feat that deserves its own national holiday: National Most Bang for your Buck Day! Do your part in celebrating National Pizza Party Day and benefit our local food bank all at the same time. — Brooke Brown

When we care so much about the opinions of others, we become filled with anxiety and a sense of dependency. We are dependent on their approval, and anxious that we won’t get it. There are all sorts of reasons this happens, these reasons are planted in childhood, and they’ve had a long time to develop, to root themselves deeply in our psyches. So to let go of this need, this fear, is one of the hardest things we can do. We are not just trying to develop a freedom within, but we’re trying to change what is already there, and then give ourselves permission to be free. Fear-free. Consider this: To begin, just imagine how incredible that would feel. — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.



The IRONMAN 70.3 Racing and the volunteer state of mind By Robyn Wolfe Fogle Pulse contributor

Chattanooga was voted second in both the Best Race Venue Experience and Will Recommend to a Friend categories.”


ET READY, CHATTANOOGA! OUR CITY IS ABOUT to be saturated with thousands of athletes, tourists and spectators arriving for the 2018 Sunbelt Bakery IRONMAN 70.3 Chattanooga presented by McKee A Family Bakery.

Endurance athletes from all over the country, and even around the world, come to compete in this worldrenowned race comprised of a 1.2mile swim down the Tennessee River, a 56-mile bike ride through the beautiful rolling hills of Georgia and a 13.1mile run through our scenic city. They will be given 8½ hours to officially complete the course and many will also be racing for one of this year’s 30 age-group qualifying slots for the 2018 IRONMAN 70.3 World Championships to be held in Nelson


Mandela Bay, South Africa later this year. Sunday’s race will be an exciting climax for these athletes who have spent months training for this event. While many other cities around the globe host an IRONMAN 70.3 race, the Chattanooga race has become one of the most highly-rated events on the circuit, selling out quickly each year. In last year’s Athletes’ Choice awards, Chattanooga was voted second in both the Best Race Venue Experience and Will Recommend to a Friend categories; we tied for third in

the Best Host City Experience; and received a fourth-place ranking for the Best Overall Bike. “Chattanooga’s welcoming community provides athletes with the opportunity to enjoy a beginner friendly course while experiencing southern hospitality,” said Keats McGonigal, Senior Regional Director for IRONMAN, via email. We are also the only city in the world to host a full-distance IRONMAN, an IRONMAN 70.3 and the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championship (which drew 4,500 athletes representing 91 countries in 2017). Becoming a host city to such large-scale events has had a positive economic impact on the city with revenue dollars well into the millions per event. But now in our 5th year of hosting IRONMAN races, none of this is news to us locals. In fact, there probably isn’t much about the course, the training, the athletes, or the impact on the city that you haven’t already heard about. Let me focus instead on another aspect of the race—one that is often overlooked. And yet it’s huge. In fact, it requires 3,000 individuals putting in over 12,000 hours! No, I’m not talking about the training hours the athletes put in; I’m talking about the volunteers. These individuals are champions just as much as the athletes are, and most live right here in our city. A quick glance at the list of volunteer needs for an event of this scale is nearly overwhelming. And yet races like this could not happen without their support. “The response from the volunteers in Chattanooga makes this one of the best events on the IRONMAN circuit,” says McGonigal. “They truly come out and embrace the athletes.” Talk about southern hospitality at its finest. Some people volunteer days before the race to stuff packets and help with registration, others host professional athletes in their home for the duration

of their stay. The crazy ones show up at 4 a.m. on race day to help with things like body marking and set-up, and others are there to hand out medals and clean up as the exhausted athletes bask in their completed accomplishment. So what does race day look like from the vantage point of a volunteer? “I have a business card that says ‘professional volunteer’,” laughs Katie Schumacher, who has volunteered at nearly every IRONMAN event in Chattanooga. “I thought it was a great way to give back to the community.” A former tri-athlete herself, she says she volunteers because it helps the athletes. She has served in many capacities over the past few years from heading up the kids’ races last year, to body-marking, to being a Homestay Captain which meant finding the locals who would be willing to open their homes to host professional athletes. A die-hard volunteer, she is one of the ones out there at 4 a.m. and will stay through the end of the day helping where she can, or simply cheering on the athletes. “I really like getting out there to cheer for the folks that are barely making it,” she said. “They are so appreciative because they are just done.” Encouragement from spectators and the support of volunteers is the boost most athletes need to complete a race of this magnitude. For Rebekah Gilman, herself an IRONMAN who completed both the 2017 full and half, giving back to the race community by serving as a volunteer was simply par for the course. We may think the volunteers are there to serve the athletes, but she says, “Volunteers get just as much out of the experience as the athletes do. It’s a rewarding and inspiring experience.” For her, knowing that her encouragement and support may have played

My favorite part of being at an aid station is seeing the face of someone who’s struggling light up just by cheering for them or giving them a few words of encouragement.”

even a small part in getting just one of the participants to the finish line of a race is gratifying. This year she is the Volunteer Captain for an Aid Station run by local organization SPARC (Sports, Arts & Recreation of Chattanooga) a local non-profit organization that is a chapter of the Disabled Sports USA. They believe that “persons, regardless of ability, should have the opportunity to participate in competitive and recreational activities in an integrated setting, i.e., persons with and without disabilities participating together.” Gilman explained how IRONMAN gives race participants Volunteer Appreciation Bands at registration which the athletes are encouraged to pass on to volunteers who made a difference in their race. Some of the volunteers at their aid station are in wheelchairs or have various other disabilities and she has seen the athletes give high fives and even hugs to the volunteers as they pass by. “Our volunteers light up when they get these bands,” she said. “My favorite part of being at an aid station is seeing the face of someone who’s struggling light up just by cheering for them or giving them a few words of encouragement.” She sees volunteering as a two-way street and loves interacting with the athletes. Beyond the personal feel-good benefits that volunteers experience, there is also a monetary benefit for some. The IRONMAN Foundation provides volunteer grants to local nonprofit

groups who volunteer, as well as to one local organization each year who demonstrates “service through sport and commitment to community”. Last year’s recipient of this grant was On My Own 2 Feet, a local running program through the Chattanooga Track Club that aims to help homeless men and women become more active by coaching them through a 5K training program. As a result of the funds received, the program was able to expand to include a biking component, and high-quality Breezer Bikes were purchased to award to graduates of the bike program. Rita Fanning, co-founder of the organization and long-time volunteer for many races and non-profits, says that volunteering for the event in order to receive grant funds was a no-brainer for their group. This year her team will once again head up “Environmental” for the race. While it may sound like a fun way to volunteer, Fanning says it is actually the toughest job. “What it actually is is carrying out the trash,” she explained. “We’re in charge of picking up all trash off of the ground, emptying all the trash cans etc. It’s a really nasty, dirty job but somebody’s has to do it and it pays a really great volunteer grant and that’s why we do it.” As Volunteer Captain, Fanning is in charge of ALL “Environmental” volunteers which spans eight shifts over three days. “I’m there at every shift, except the 4:30 in the morning shift—I am NOT a morning person,” Fanning laughs.

While the majority of the volunteers on Fanning’s team come from Chattanooga Track Club volunteers who help with On My Own 2 Feet, some of the homeless (and formerly homeless) participants of the program have stepped up to help as well. “One of the homeless guys that volunteered last year had been very ill, actually in the hospital, and he couldn’t wait for them to let him out of the hospital so he could come and volunteer,” says Fanning. He wanted to give back. “They loved it!” she said. “IRONMAN Foundation does fabulous, fabulous things. It’s a wonderful organization and people don’t know that,” says Fanning, who is so appreciative of the grant money and what it means for the expansion of programs like On My Own 2 Feet. Through grant money, IRONMAN Foundation seeks to leave the IRONMAN legacy behind in race communities, creating an impact that extends long after event day. In 2017, the Foundation provided $1.5 million in grant funding to 1,380 organizations in IRONMAN race communities. Maybe we can’t all be “IRONMEN”, but we can all find a way to participate through volunteering, cheering, and encouraging these athletes. “At the end of the day these races are really about everyday people pushing and challenging themselves,” says Charlene Simmons, a local athlete and volunteer. “Volunteering for these events helps these racers achieve their dreams. Being part of that is inspiring.” After bidding farewell to the structure of the corporate world over a year ago, Robyn Wolfe Fogle now spends her days pursuing the things she loves. Among her passions are freelance writing, rock climbing and running.




Plastic: It’s What’s For Dinner Nature always finds a way. Sometimes in ways we really don't expect.


Steven W. Disbrow Pulse columnist

Plastic is everywhere now, and, like I said, the ability to use it for food will be a tremendous advantage for any organism that can gain the capability.”

Steven W. Disbrow is the proprietor of “Improv Chattanooga” on the South Side of town. He also creates e-commerce systems and reads comic books when he’s not on stage acting like a fool.

S YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, humanity’s addiction to plastic is becoming a problem. It’s been well documented for a while now that plastics are killing animals in the oceans and on the land. More recent studies have found that micro-plastic contamination has been found in about 90 precent of bottled drinking water worldwide. And, just this past week, the Japan Agency for Marine-Earth Science and Technology (JAMSTEC) published a study where they revealed that they had found around 3,500 plastic fragments on the deepest part of the ocean floor, almost 11,000 meters (about 36,000 feet) down in the Mariana Trench! The problem is two-fold. First, most plastics are single use. Consider the straws that you use at each meal. You literally use it once and then it goes right into the waste stream. It’s not recycled, or otherwise reused, so it becomes garbage in the truest sense of the word. Second, plastics simply aren’t broken down by the same natural processes that break down organic waste like plants, meat and bone. Even metals like iron will rust and eventually break down if exposed to the elements for a relatively short period of time. And, those natural substances, once they are broken down, are reused by nature, becoming part of the cycle of life. Plastic however, doesn’t break down naturally. It’s made of long-chain polymers that simply don’t dissolve in water. So, it doesn’t decompose naturally. Well, it does, but the molecular bonds are so strong that natural decomposition can take up to 10,000 years! Different types of plastic have different decomposition rates, of course. One of the

shorter ones, for plastic bottles, is still 450 years! Like I said, it’s a problem…one that scientists all over the world have been trying to solve for a couple of decades now. Hungry, Hungry Microbes Fortunately, the relentless process of evolution may have come up with an answer. Given how much plastic there is in the world now, any organism that could eat it would have a real advantage over its competitors. With that in mind, in 2016, some Japanese researchers started testing bacteria in a bottle recycling plant, and they found that, sure enough, at least one type of bacteria, “Ideonella sakaiensis 201-F6” could actually digest the plastic used to make drinking bottles! It does this by secreting an enzyme that breaks apart the long molecule chains into smaller chunks. The bacteria then uses the carbon that’s freed up as food. Now, you may have heard in the past that there were already some microbes that could slowly eat plastics. And, that’s true. There were already some bacteria that could coincidentally break down plastics. The difference is that this little guy seems to have evolved specifically to eat plastic, and it’s more efficient at it than

these other bacteria. That’s exciting, because it means that there may be more bacteria out there that are evolving the same ability. After all, plastic is everywhere now, and, like I said, the ability to use it for food will be a tremendous advantage for any organism that can gain the capability. (And, as we’ve seen with eyes, evolution is more than happy to solve the same problem over and over again, if it gives an advantage for surviving and passing on genes.) Of course, this is also a little terrifying as well. If evolution happens upon a set of genes that allow an organism to rapidly eat all the plastic in the world, then that’s exactly what it will let loose. Given the sheer volume of plastic in the world, it’s a pretty good bet that this will happen eventually. If (when?) it does happen, pretty much every bit of our modern world will be at risk. There’s no easy solution here. We’ve simply become too dependent on plastics to stop using them entirely, and humans are too hard to train to reliably embrace recycling on the scale that’s needed to stop (and maybe reverse) the plastic garbage problems we have. But you can be sure that if we don’t solve the problem, nature will solve it for us…and probably not in a way we’re going to like.



Remembering The Unforgettable On October 2nd, 2006, a man walked into a one-room Amish schoolhouse in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania and opened fire, killing five girls and himself. This tragedy and the incredible aftermath of forgiveness shown by the Amish community lead to a captivating stage play inspired by the events known as “The Amish Project”. “The Amish Project” is a one-woman show inspired by the tragic events on that autumn day that is set for one performance only at the Chattanooga Theatre Center this Sunday at 2:30 p.m. Katherine Michelle Tanner will be putting on an unforgettable performance as she takes on the role of seven different characters who were all touched by the events. CTC Executive Director Todd Olson directed the production in Oklahoma for the 20th anniversary of the tragic events and a local critic there stated, “This play is an ‘Our Town’ for today. I believe it should become required viewing for every high school in the nation.” Even more amazing than putting on such an inspiring piece for the public, this onetime only show will be a “pay-what-you-can” show, meaning patrons can see the show for any amount of money they can afford. “This profound play is something for the ages, and our objective is to make the play accessible to everyone in the community,” says Olson. Productions like this aren’t something you see every day, and with the pay-what-youcan price, there is no reason to miss out. — Brooke Brown

Musical Illustration Michael Salter marries a love of music and drawing By Tony Mraz Pulse contributor

I was wondering what I would be when I grew up, and I knew I would probably be an artist because I could draw recognizable images at age four.”



SINGLE GLANCE AT ONE OF MICHAEL SALTER’S drawings is all that it takes to know that he is a consummate draftsman. A similar thing can be said for any of his paintings, illustrations, comics, designs, and for his drumming. As he says, “Music and art kind of sneak together sometimes.” Salter has been making art and music for most of his life. “I was wondering what I would be when I grew up, and I knew I would probably be an artist because I could draw recognizable images at age four,” he says, telling us of when he was growing up in Bradley County. “Musically, I was influenced by the Beatles and Buddy Rich. The Beatles got me into music, in 1964 on my seventh birthday. My brother and I were sitting in the living room

watching TV, and there they were. It was awesome! “We were laughing at their hair, we thought they looked goofy and funny, but then they started playing. ‘64 was their first trip to the US, on The Ed Sullivan Show. It was the first time any of us had heard them. “Most bands at the time had somebody writing their songs for them. The Beatles demonstrated that a band can succeed writing their own songs, being self-pro-

duced.” The Beatles inspired Salter to start playing the drums. When he was in college at UTC, he got into jazz, and has since become one of the most sought-after percussionists in town. He also went on to become a top notch graphic designer, earning national attention for his logo designs. He majored in Fine Art because, at that time, the university didn’t offer Graphic Design as a major. He learned some design skills from school, but was mostly self-taught. He asked a lot of questions at local print shops. This is how he learned to cut film and paint knock-outs on acetate to make something appear on a background, along with other analog design skills. He started to think about how he was going to put food on the table for his family, “How do I make a living at this?” He got his first break while he was still in college—he was introduced to a Canadian company that made cartoon maps of cities and college campuses that was looking for artists. The first map he did for them was of Southern Adventist College in Ooltewah. The maps included well known faculty members and campus landmarks. Next he did UTC, then Roanoke VA—the map was so big that he had to draw it in sections and put it on a huge piece of illustration board. Next he got a job as an Art Director at Track 29 Media Company (not to be

He is still very active as a musician, playing with multiple bands including the Monday Night Big Band at The Palms, Ryan Oyer Band, Reverse Ferrett, and Uptown Big Band.”

confused with the former music venue). During this time, he did a lot of T-shirt work. Everything was done with layers of film that were then transferred to silk screens, incorporating ziptone dot screens. “If I wanted a green area on a shirt, I would do a 60 percent yellow screen, and a 40 percent blue to make it green,” he explains. “For gradients, I used fade screens—you could cut them, had to make sure the ratio was right, that the screens were lined up. You had to be able to imagine what it would look like.” Working at Track 29 Media was Salter’s introduction to a classic nineto-five work environment. He got into doing brochures, advertising, design, catalogs, annual reports, and illustration work when he could get it. He built his portfolio by working at a design shop downtown after his regular work hours. He did some freelance work for the Arnold Palmer Golf Co., called Pro Group at the time, designing catalogs,

directing photography of their equipment. This work led him to a job at Chattem Inc, where he worked for 30 years doing logos, catalogs, annual reports, and product photography. He made extensive use of application illustrations, images of practical applications of products, ideas, and new product concepts. Everything was different before the industry transitioned to digital—today you have to build photo mock-ups in Photoshop, with stock photos, etc. Marker layouts, drawings of advertisements and products, were the precursor to this. Since retiring from Chattem, Salter has done comic books, book cover illustrations, and is currently considering commissioned portraits. He is still very active as a musician, playing with multiple bands including the Monday Night Big Band at The Palms, Ryan Oyer Band, Reverse Ferrett, and Uptown Big Band. You can find him on Facebook or email him at




3rd Thursday Experiments

Sculpture Garden 25th Anniversary

Little Owl Festival

Getting back to their roots in experimental theater and performance art in a new monthly series. 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave.

The crown jewel of the Bluff View Arts District celebrates a quarter-century of art overlooking the river. 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St.

Live music, arts and craft vendors, historical demonstrations, nature hikes, a birds of prey demonstration, and more. 11 a.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 17, 2018 • THE PULSE • 11


Matt Mitchell

THURSDAY5.17 Sew What - Introduction to E-Textiles 4 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. Photographer Jeff Roush 7 p.m. St. John’s United Methodist 3921 Murray Hills Dr. Poetry Is LIT 7 p.m. LIT Gallery 4015 Tennessee Ave. Matt Mitchell 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. Fauré Requiem and French Masterworks 7:30 p.m. Second Presbyterian Church 700 Pine St. Chatt Talk Tonight with Donnie Marsh 8 p.m. The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. Country Line Dancing Class 8 p.m. Westbound Bar 24 Station St. 3rd Thursday Experiments


8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave.

FRIDAY5.18 Sew What - Introduction to E-Textiles 4 p.m. Eastgate Library 5705 Marlin Rd. National Pizza Party Day 5:30 p.m. Douglas Heights Bakery 426 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 531-2253 Intro to Mountain Biking 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. Sculpture Garden 25th Anniversary 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. “An Evening With Jo” 7 p.m. Saint Timothy’s Episcopal 630 Mississippi Ave. “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. Improv Movie Night:

Paranormal Comedy! 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. Improv Showdown 10 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave.

SATURDAY5.19 Soap Making 101 9 a.m. Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. Battlefield Bicycle Tour 9:30 a.m. Chickamauga & Chattanooga National Military Park 3370 Lafayette Rd. Back to MAC Reunion Dog Walk 10 a.m. McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. Southern Blooms Festival 10 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA

All About Iris! 10 a.m. UT Extension Office 6183 Adamson Cir. Little Owl Festival 11 a.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. Red Wolf Feeding and Talk Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. Chattanooga Art Tour 1 p.m. Bluff View Art District 400 E. 2nd St. “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime” 2:30, 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. Spring in West Village 6 p.m. West Village 802 Pine St. Spirits In The Wild 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. Matt Mitchell 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. Chattanooga FC vs Knoxville

Vamp Valley Vixens Emerald Force 7:30 p.m. Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. Week in Review 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. Whose Line Chattanooga 10 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. Vamp Valley Vixens: Tom Hanksgiving 11:59 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave.

SUNDAY5.20 IRONMAN 70.3 7 a.m. Ross’s Landing Park 201 Riverfront Pkwy. Southern Blooms Festival 10 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA Free Fiddle School 2 p.m. Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 “The Amish Project”

2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. Dinner with Divas 3 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. All-Bach for Pentecost Sunday 4 p.m. Christ Church Episcopal 663 Douglas St. Open Mic Storytelling Night: Firsts 5 p.m. The Tomorrow Building 818 Georgia Ave. Matt Mitchell 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St.

MONDAY5.21 Intermediate Wordpress 5:30 p.m. The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. Spring Belly Dance Session 5:45 p.m. Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd. Palette Knife Painting with Mia Bergeron 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. Traffic Skills for Bike Commuting 6 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St.

TUESDAY5.22 Wake Up & Run 6 a.m. Fleet Feet Sports 307 Manufacturers Rd. Special Announcement and Joint Celebration 4 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute Tour 4 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute 175 Baylor School Rd. Introduction to Portrait Sculpture with Maria Willison 6 p.m. Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Downtown Library 1001 Broad St.

WEDNESDAY5.23 Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace Introduction to Calligraphy 6 p.m. Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. Rapid Learning Kayak Skills + Roll Sessions 6 p.m. Chester Frost Park 2277 Gold Point Cir. N. Chattanooga FC vs. Asheville City SC 7 p.m. Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. Naughty Knights Chess Meetup 7:30 p.m. The Bitter Alibi 825 Houston St. Open Mic Comedy 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 17, 2018 • THE PULSE • 13


Stone Temple Pilots Soar Into The Signal We’re lucky to live in a city that not only has an incredible local music scene, but also has the clout to pull in big name acts time and time again. It seems that a great deal of well-known bands, solo acts, and duos eventually find their way into the Scenic City for a show now and again, and with the range of venues we offer, it’s not hard to see why. The Singal is a place you can always count on to pull in outrageously talented musicians and this week is no different as Stone Temple Pilots will take the stage at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday night. A band that most have heard of (if you aren’t already a fan, that is) with what is sure to be a badass show with a killer lineup, their show at The Signal is a can’t miss for old and new fans alike. After the release of their debut album Core in 1992, the band became one of the most commercially successful bands of the ‘90s and as fans will tell you, it’s not hard to see why they were, and still are, so damn good despite shifts in the role of lead vocals over the years. See them for yourself if you haven’t already when they soar into The Signal this week. — Brooke Brown

The Roots Of The Blues Lon Eldridge & Steven Troch team up on Cool Iron By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

Lon, however, is that rarest of creatures in that his persona isn’t a persona, it’s just Lon. It isn’t a gimmick, it isn’t an act, what you see is what you get.”



HAT CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT LON ELDRIDGE that hasn’t already been said a dozen times? He’s a local treasure, one of the most talented and authentic artists in the region.

Lots of folks in the industry have an act or a gimmick and while the dedicated hipster may sneer at such a concept, it’s entertainment after all. There are supposed to be acts, there are supposed to be gimmicks. Lon, however, is that rarest of creatures in that his persona isn’t a persona, it’s just Lon. It isn’t a gimmick, it isn’t an act, what you see is what you get. And that is rare and, frankly, worth a great deal of respect.

Lon (or “Long” as a flier for a recent gig dubbed him) brings that sincerity along with a turnip truck load of playing and writing talent to his latest release, Cool Iron. The album consists of nine tunes featuring Eldridge and partner Steven Troch, who provides a masterful harmonica, backing vocals. Troch, whose skill on the mouth harp has earned him an official endorsement from Hohner, also wrote the second track on the album, the very tasty

“Sunday Morning Waltz.” “You Can’t Get That Stuff No More” is the opening track, and appropriately so, since Eldridge’s music is itself a fine example of that “stuff you can’t get no more,” or would be were it not for the fact that he keeps the genre alive himself. A little Django Gypsy jazz, a little big band and swing, a lot of blues, the music is gorgeous anachronism and so true to form that the only the lack of hiss from limited recording capabilities separates it from it nearly century old ancestry. “Kind Hearted Woman Blues”, “Jack o’ Diamonds”, “Wished I was in Heaven Sitting Down”, and in fact most of the tunes on the album are all masterful examples of classic blues and there’s a reason that is especially noteworthy. As a genre, blues is the mother language from which so much American music is derived and as such it has been done to death by mediocre pickers. Every kid who ever had a pawn shop guitar and saw the movie Crossroads tries to play it. Many play it quite adequately; few play it in a way that adds anything meaningful. Fortunately, we are blessed with a handful of bluesmen (and women) in the area who consistently breathe

Every kid who ever had a pawn shop guitar and saw the movie Crossroads tries to play it. Many play it quite adequately; few play it in a way that adds anything meaningful.” new life in to the music, push the envelope and actually do add some-

thing meaningful to the (musical) conversation. Mark “Porkchop” Holder is a fine example of what I mean, but where Holder brings fire and fury to the table, Eldridge’s mastery of the genre personifies and older era—classical blues if you will—and this entire album beginning to end is a stunning example of that. On a side note, I can’t help but think a double-header featuring both Eldridge and Holder would blow the roof of any venue that hosted it. Passionate, yet refined and even elegant, Cool Iron is a worthy and memorable album that embodies the Robert Johnson golden age of blues flawlessly. The album is available for digital download on May 18th, via That same night Eldridge will be performing live at the Blues Street Café just down the road in Dalton, GA. While it technically won’t be a release party—physical copies are currently available in Europe, with a hard copy release in the U.S. scheduled for July—there’s no doubt that some of these new tunes will make it in to the set and for the outstanding quality of Eldridge’s live shows, it’s a trip worth making.

Chattaboogie Sessions Live Renowned documentarian and producer Rob Wellborn will be on hand at JJ’s Bohemia this Thursday night filming another episode of Chattaboogie Sessions. Hi$E Cold and Swayyvo will be performing that night as Wellborn records a hip-hop episode of the much-loved homegrown Chattanooga music series. Doors open at 9 p.m. with Swayyvo taking the stage at 10:00 and Hi$e scheduled to start at 11 p.m. The musical talent alone makes it a worthwhile show to attend, but the continued support of Chattaboogie Live, an exceptionally well done, much needed addition to the local scene, makes it your best bet for a Thursday night. Come on out and be part of local music history. — MTM




Courtney Holder

Jeffery Broussard & The Creole Cowboys

Lacing, Elk Milk, Tryezz

It's a perfect way to unwind after work with some tasty cocktails high above US-27 and the soulful sounds of an uber-talented songstress. 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St.

Featuring the accordion mastery and soulful vocals of Jeffery Broussard, of the legendary Zydeco Force. 8 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St.

Three great local msuical acts team up at one of the hottest new(er) music venues downtown. 8 p.m. Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 17, 2018 • THE PULSE • 15

MUSIC CALENDAR Three Star Revival 9 p.m. Songbirds South 41 Station St. Shani Palmer Electric Band 10 p.m. Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966 Casey Adams 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd.

SATURDAY5.19 Drakeford

THURSDAY5.17 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. Forever Bluegrass 6 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. Courtney Holder 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. Toby Hewitt 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. Ugandan Children's Choir Concert 7 p.m. First Lutheran Chattanooga 2800 McCallie Ave. (423) 629-5990 Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. KlusterfunK Open Jam

8 p.m. Trip’s Tavern 4762 Hwy. 58 (423) 803-5686 Chase Rice 8:30 p.m. The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. Open Mic Night with Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. Chattaboogie Sessions Live Filming with Hi$e Cold and Swayyvo 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

FRIDAY5.18 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Travis Bowlin 6 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. Preston Ruffing 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St.

16 • THE PULSE • MAY 17, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM John Caroll 6:30 p.m. Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. Jake Owen 7 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 Heatherly Holt 7 p.m. Oddstory Brewing Company 336 E. MLK Blvd. Drakeford Album Release Show 7 p.m. Songbirds North 35 Station St. Tim Lewis 7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park Rick Rushing and The Blues Strangers 7:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. Jeffery Broussard & The Creole Cowboys 8 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. Floami Fly, Kemo, Different Diva 8 p.m.

The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. Callie Hopper 8 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way Letters To A Liar, Powers, Iniquitous, Age of Atrocity 8 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. Amy Taylor, The Foothills 8:30 p.m. The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. Bohannons, Theda McPeek 9 p.m. The Spot 1800 E. Main St. Jack Endelouz 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. Strahan & The Good Neighbors 9 p.m. HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St. Genki Genki Panic, mmhmm, Class War, Friendship Commanders 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

Jfest 9 a.m. Camp Jordan 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. Little Owl Festival 11 a.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. Jennifer Daniels 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. One Night Stand Band 5 p.m. The Georgia Winery 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Megan Howard 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. Ryan Oyer 6:30 p.m. Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. Jerry Haskew & Andy Laird 7 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. Tim Lewis

7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park Reese & Rosser 7 p.m. Oddstory Brewing Company 336 E. MLK Blvd. Danimal 7:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. Karianne Jean 8 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way Red Rouges 8 p.m. The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 Mojo Molly 8 p.m. Mayo's Bar and Grill 3820 Brainerd Rd. Lacing, Elk Milk, Tryezz 8 p.m. Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. Rent Veil, Hazmat, Inclination Of Direction 9 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. Naked Funk 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. Whiskey Wolves of the West 9 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. Runaway Gin: A Tribute to Phish 9 p.m. Songbirds South 41 Station St. Bethany Kidd, Hunter Whited KlusterfunK 9 p.m. Trip's Tavern 4762 Hwy. 58 (423) 803-5686

Whiskey Wolves of the West Casey Adams 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd.

SUNDAY5.20 Emily Kate Boyd 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. Marcus White Piano 11 a.m. Westin Lobby 801 Pine St. Stratoblasters 12:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Carter St. Brooks Hubbard 1:30 p.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. Robin Grant 3 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. Mid-South Symphonic Band Spring Concert 3 p.m. Ringgold High School Performing Arts Center 29 Tiger Trail Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Jesse James Jungkurth 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. Didge Evolution 7 p.m. Covenant College 14049 Scenic Hwy. Mathis & Martin 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. Maria Sable 8 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. Caleb and the Gents, Kyle Lacy and the Harlem River Sound 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

MONDAY5.21 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8

TUESDAY5.22 Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. Danimal 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. Open Mic Jam Session 7 p.m. Crust Pizza 3211 Broad St. Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike Stone Temple Pilots 8:30 p.m. The Signal 1810 Chestnut St.

WEDNESDAY5.23 The Other Guys 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. Jesse James Jungkurth 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. Jazz In The Lounge 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. Open Mic with Courtney Holder 7:30 p.m. The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 Hap Henninger 8 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Map these locations on Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to:



La Mecánica Popular, Sugar Candy Mountain

La Mecánica Popular Roza Cruz (Names You Can Trust)

Sugar Candy Mountain Do Right (PIAPTK)


The band draws from two key genres—salsa dura and Peruvian cumbia (a.k.a. Chicha)—with distinctive percussion and scales; however, the flowing interplay from Rozas (on a Rhodes electric piano), guitarist Felipe Wurst and bassist Dan Martínez also evokes jazz-fusion while the atmosphere also draws from psychedelic rock. Digging under the surface (which is an interesting enough surface, mind you), one will learn that some rhythms were composed by an improvising robot drummer invented by Rozas, which ties in with his explorations linking technology, myth and power. Also the album’s title, Roza Cruz, is a nod to Rosicrucianism, the gnostic, esoteric secret society of which Rozas’ grandfather was a member. Recorded live in the studio, the tracks on Roza Cruz can alternate between tight rhythmic passages where the players lock together on runs, improvisational opportunities for solos, evocative slow-burn grooves and also a looser category where

riginally from Lima, Peru, Efraín Rozas moved to New York City to pursue doctoral studies in composition and ethnomusicology, and his group La Mecánica Popular has some lofty aims—to explore “the frontier between social dance and experimentalism” and to “erode the divisions between the popular and the avant-garde.” However, perhaps demonstrating that the group is succeeding with its goals, the new album Roza Cruz can provide immediate enjoyment, without having to consciously process any underlying intellectual rigor or novel musical concepts, not to mention an aim to go far beyond the inadequate term of “world music” which more often than not means anything not from the Western world. Straight off, the opening “Part 1 – Bienvenida” lays down some urgent rhythms with Guillermo Barrón on congas and Joel Mateo on timbales, quickly drawing the listener in with its compellingly dance-able barrage.


there’s room to wander. The brightness of the percussion faces a murky intrigue from prickly guitar lines and distorted electric piano; contrasting elements aren’t pitted against each other but mingle naturally, as tradition and technology and the apparent and the obscure play together in an expanding notion of Latin American music.


n George Orwell’s allegorical story Animal Farm, a biting and satirical criticism of Stalinism, the character Moses—a raven—represents the Russian Orthodox Church and describes a place called “Sugarcandy Mountain” where “clover was in season all the year round, and lump sugar and linseed cake grew on the hedges.” Clearly, this place was Heaven—the bountiful afterlife paradise that offers an eternity of comfort. The Oakland, Calif. group Sugar Candy Mountain lives up to its namesake, providing pop escapism and ample pleasures that are transportive and conscious of their own artificiality. Led by the vocalists/multiinstrumentalists Ash Reiter and Will Halsey, the band takes obvious influence from various pop strains from the ‘60s, with the Brazilian group Os Mutantes coming to mind most notably; other sources, among many, include psychedelic garage rock acts and the Beach Boys’ gentler, harmonic moments. Sugar Candy Mountain’s

new, fourth album Do Right is probably its most subtle album so far; this writer finds the eccentric charms of 2013’s Mystic Hits to be more immediately persuasive, but Do Right has its own laid-back personality that thrives on providing small sonic details that bespeak a love for pop craftsmanship. Its own off-center sounds may not seem as outwardly peculiar as those heard on some previous efforts, but listening to Do Right on headphones reveals its obscured gems in the beach sand. Built up from a ‘60s pulse with tambourine accents, “This Time Around” has a million details, from its particular electric-guitar buzz timbre, to lush layered chorus vocals to string parts that add an elegance to the jaunty pace. “Happening” manages to evoke The Beatles through individual elements—a melodic progression here, a high bass line, a Ringoesque fill—although as a whole it doesn’t exactly sound like The Beatles, with sparkling synths and some non-obvious guitar chords. “Quiet Place” is a high point, with Reiter’s sweetly soft and vulnerable vocals, patiently working through a casual pace through a strange wilderness of phaser effects and envelopetreated synth notes. For fans of nostalgic, electronically enhanced, off-kilter yet largely inviting pop, it’s a hospitable, artificial paradise.


Taking Care Of Your Body Trailhead Juice wants to help you become both healthy and happy Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

When you replace a meal with juice, you get straight vitamins, minerals, irons, proteins, without the body having to work to break it down.”

The Scoop Trailhead Juice Committed to providing a healthy alternative with healing properties. 3211 Broad St (423) 803-6211 Monday-Friday 7:30am-7pm Saturday: 8am-7pm Sunday: Noon-5pm


S AN ADULT, IT SEEMS LIKE we’re always taking care of things. Whether we’re taking care of cleaning out the garage, our fur babies, the groceries, the mortgage bill, the monthly Netflix payment, the laundry, we probably feel like more often than not we’re taking care of everything and everybody but ourselves. And while it’s noble to put everything before yourself, it’s not practical. Call me selfish, but when you literally only have one life, one body, one chance to do it right, why wouldn’t you do everything you could to provide for yourself? It can start with the simplest of tasks, but one of the most important and easily pushed aside: taking care of your body! The place to start is at Trailhead Juice where you can just stop in for a bottle, smoothie or snack or let owner Michelle Sutter get to know you, learn your needs and structure a regimen to get you back into tip-top shape. It’s also one of the few, and I mean few, places in town that is non-GMO, Gluten Free, and 100 percent vegan. “We let our minds rest after a long day, our bodies after a tough workout, but we don’t let our digestive tracts rest,” says Sutter. “So when you replace a meal with juice, you get straight vitamins, minerals, irons, proteins, without the body having to work to break it down. It’s an instant shot of goodness.” Unsure of where to start? Trailhead Juice has an array of cold-pressed juices, smoothies, blended bowls, and have recently added a food menu featuring salads, sandwiches, and raw soups. Wondering what exactly is raw soup? Let’s start with the fact that the soup isn’t going to be cold just because it’s

‘raw.’ The raw soup ingredients will be added to a blender with tomato juice when ordered and blended until warm. Nothing is heated or cooked, meaning the vitamins and nutrients aren’t cooked out, making for one outrageously nutritious bowl of soup. Each of Sutter’s employees are wellversed in the benefits of each of their products, whether that’s the Carrot Top cold-pressed juice, a Banana Cacao smoothie, or a blended bowl made to your liking. In fact, everything at Trailhead can be made to order! “We can custom make anything that will make you feel better,” says Sutter. “The menu is basically a jumping off point, but we can make to order your health solution.” For this reason, Trailhead doesn’t offer juice “cleanses” in steps one, two, and three, but would rather spend five minutes talking to you about your reasons for cleansing as well as health conditions or concerns you may have. “I just want to get to know my customers,” Sutter continues. “Are they wanting to juice for spiritual reasons? Health? Purging? Getting over a cold? Too much

food over a holiday weekend? There are a lot of different reasons and so a lot of different solutions.” Trailhead is the perfect place to recharge both your body and your mind as they currently host yoga on Tuesday nights and are looking to add a morning yoga class as well as meditation. A beautiful grassy lot lies next to Trailhead and after purchasing the lot, Sutter is opening a barter system flea market where locals can trade and barter their wares in the summertime. The first Local Barter Market is set for Saturday, June 2nd starting at 10 a.m. (Get more details on their Facebook page.) Ironman participants, volunteers, and viewers would be doing themselves a dishonor by not stopping into Trailhead for a liquid pick me up. Bring your pup too as not only does Sutter have an outdoor area where you can hang with your fluffy friend, but they’re also allowed inside, something you’d be cold-pressed to find in Chattanooga. (Get it? Cold-pressed...) So while you’re taking care of everything and everyone else, let Trailhead Juice take care of you.



Strike Fast. Strike Hard. Cobrai Kai shows no mercy in telling a very strong story By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

I even convinced my father to take taekwondo lessons with me from third through fifth grade, where I dutifully gained belt colors every year.”



OR A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MY CHILDHOOD, IT seems like karate was everywhere. On TV, I didn’t hear much about styles or historic martials arts. It was mostly just white guys (or mutant turtles) standing up to bullies or criminals by kicking them in the face. I was a small, skinny kid with thick glasses and a persecution complex, so this type of entertainment appealed to me on every level. I even convinced my father to take taekwondo lessons with me from third through fifth grade, where I dutifully gained belt colors every year, not because I was becoming a master, but because my dad was never behind on his bill. At home, I absorbed every show and movie I could find: Walker: Texas Ranger, Martial Law, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sidekicks, and of course, the seminal kid beats bullies with punching movie, The Karate Kid. I loved Danny LaRusso, hated Cobra Kai, and dreamed of one day taking

down the mouth breathers I imagined lurking in the shadows of my school. I just needed to find my Mr. Miyagi. What I found were mostly white collar engineers from Oak Ridge who just needed some exercise after sitting down all day. The karate fad eventually faded (later replaced with MMA) and the American style of boot wearing martial arts has all but disappeared. That is until this spring. YouTube Red, the backwater streaming service with such original hits as Step Up: High Water, Sing It!, and Scare Pewdiepie, has created an unexpected masterpiece. Out of nowhere, the folks at YouTube revived the Karate Kid saga with Cobra Kai, a legitimately funny

and solid television show offering a different perspective on the original story. Cobra Kai is, without a doubt, one of the best reboots of a wellknown property ever done. In fact, other than FX’s Atlanta, Cobra Kai might be the best show out right now (prestige dramas like Westworld and The Terror notwithstanding). The show catches us up with Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka), bad dude karate guy from the original film. Years later, he’s a middle-aged handy man with a crappy apartment, an aging Trans Am, and a drinking problem. Every day, he’s faced with the same demon: the image of Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Maccio), now a successful auto dealer capitalizing on his high school fame of All Valley Karate Champ. A series of coincidences causes Johnny to grudgingly take a bullied young man from his apartment complex under his wing, offering to teach him old school karate to defend himself. But Johnny doesn’t teach through car waxes and chores. He’s uses the Cobra Kai way: strike first, strike hard, no mercy. The shows works for a of variety reasons, none of which have anything to do with Maccio or Zabka.

There’s a heart to their characters, to the frustration both men feel with their lives, and Danny and Johnny become far more developed in this series than they ever were in the original.” Neither actor have had major success after the Karate Kid series— they’ve worked steadily, but had no other breakout roles. They fall back into their characters well enough, although Zabka seems to have the better chops. Both men are weakest during their fight scenes, particularly given how far action movie choreography has come in their absence. But there’s a heart to their characters, to the frustration both men feel with their lives, and Danny and Johnny become far more developed in this series than they ever were in the original. But what the leads lack in screen presence, the other characters make up for in spades. Miquel and Robby (Xolo Mariduena and Tanner Buchanan, respectively), the series’ de facto rivalry, as well as the other high school kids, are as engaging as they can be.

Additionally, Mary Mouser as Danny’s daughter Sammy and Courtney Henggeler as Amana La Russo command the screen and pull their leading co-stasr through the scenes, making everyone around them look better. What really makes the show is how it takes the weaknesses of the original series and turns them into strengths. Where the original film went all in with the good/bad dynamic, Cobra Kai opens up thematically, showing far more grey areas. It’s a show about competing philosophies, where each approach has benefits. Cobra Kai argues that although balance and peace might be worthwhile goals, reality sometimes calls for aggression and confidence. It brings a little swagger back into the world. And kicking. And who doesn’t like kicking?


Deadpool 2 Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (AKA Deadpool), brings together a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy of supernatural abilities from the brutal, timetraveling mutant, Cable. Director: David Leitch Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin

Book Club Four lifelong friends have their lives forever changed after reading 50 Shades of Grey in their monthly book club. Director: Bill Holderman Stars: Diane Keaton, Jane Fonda, Candice Bergen, Mary Steenburgen



Revisiting An Old Southern Classic There is always time for a traditional pimento cheese sandwich

F Mike McJunkin Pulse columnist

In my preteen mind, pimento cheese was a sacred part of the Southern sandwich canon and pairing it with celery was akin to putting Easy Cheese on communion wafers.”

Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan currently living abroad who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants. Join him on Facebook at

ROM THE 1950S TO THE 1970S, America’s kitchens descended into a dark and confusing time where tradition was being cast aside and mutant food creations were being spawned in the name of culinary creativity. Hollandaise covered bananas wrapped in ham, seafood Jell-O, and liver sausage pineapples were hot dinner party items and unsuspecting mouths from sea to shining sea were being subjected to these Moreauesque lusus naturae creations. I remember being fascinated by the more outrageous recipes and combinations, but when a tray lined with pimento cheese stuffed celery sticks appeared on our dining room table, a profound sense of disappointment washed over me like the coming Santa revelation. In my pre-teen mind, pimento cheese was a sacred part of the Southern sandwich canon and pairing it with celery was akin to putting Easy Cheese on communion wafers. I steadfastly maintained that no sandwich spread could be more Southern or more delicious than this divinely-inspired amalgamation of shredded cheese, lightly flavored peppers, and mayonnaise whose destiny was to be spread on white bread and eaten wherever sweet tea and Southern drawls could be found. So you can imagine how I was shaken to my very core when I learned that this Southern classic has its roots in New York. Yes, New York. I’ll give you a moment to compose yourself. The first versions of pimento cheese were a trendy and expensive treat that was sold in tinfoil wrapped blocks or appeared at cocktail or tea parties as finger sandwiches of plain cream cheese (or Neufchâtel) and diced pimentos on crustless white bread. These original recipes were concocted by Northern food manufacturers and cookbook writers who sought new ways


to combine two newly-available products: cream cheese from New York and canned pimentos imported from Spain Imported Spanish pimentos were an expensive but in-demand delicacy, so farmers with the Georgia Experiment Station began cultivating pimentos and even invented a roasting machine that made peeling the peppers easier. By the late ‘30s Georgia was producing 10 million cans of pimentos per year and a nationwide pimento cheese boom resulted. After World War II, the pimento cheese craze faded, but Southerners began to make the spread from scratch. The availability of cheap, semi-firm “hoop cheese” and canned Georgia pimentos in country stores around the region meant that home cooks could replace cream cheese with the firmer hoop cheeses, bind it together with mayonnaise, throw in some pimentos and have a delicious, easy to make sandwich spread. Today, the three core ingredients of Southern pimento cheese remain unchanged (cheese, mayo, pimentos), but sharp cheddar cheese has become the choice of pimento cheese connoisseurs all over the South (sharp cheddar has slightly less moisture than regular, important for achieving the right texture). A good, Southern pimento cheese should taste mostly like cheddar cheese and there should only be enough mayonnaise to bind the spread together and make it creamy. If you want to stick to

classic, Southern pimento cheese orthodoxy, don’t use any mayo other than homemade or Duke’s. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. Beyond the holy trinity of ingredients, every family recipe includes a “secret” ingredient such as a splash of Tabasco or a pinch of cayenne. But the basic recipe is a classic for a reason and the addition of unapproved outside ingredients is blasphemous to true Southern pimento cheese believers. For example, pseudo-folksy television personality the “Pioneer Woman” claims, “You can add whatever your heart tells you [to pimento cheese]—anything from sliced green onions to chopped black or green olives to sundried tomatoes.” This counterfeit Southern Living nonsense has to stop. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. A good Southern pimento cheese is all about the cheese and creamy texture—if you start adding in competing flavors like olives, kombucha, or beard trimmings your Southerner card will be revoked until you can atone for your pimento cheese sins. Roasted red peppers instead of pimentos or finely grated Vidalia onion can be acceptable add-ins, but these are flavors that complement the cheese rather than compete with it. The best advice is to learn to walk before you run, starting with a classic Southern recipe like the one I’ve provided below. As Grandpa Jones would say: “There ain’t nothin’ better.”

CLASSIC SOUTHERN PIMENTO CHEESE • 1 lb sharp cheddar cheese, grated • 1 cup mayonnaise (homemade or Dukes preferred) • 1 7-oz jar pimentos, drained and finely diced • Dash of Tabasco

Directions 1. Mix cheese, mayonnaise, hot sauce, pimentos, and cayenne together until thoroughly combined. 2. Serve.


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A chemist named Marcellus Gilmore Edson got a patent on peanut butter in 1894. A businessperson named George Bayle started selling peanut butter as a snack in 1894. In 1901, a genius named Julia David Chandler published the first recipe for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In 1922, another pioneer came up with a new process for producing peanut butter that made it taste better and last longer. In 1928, two trailblazers invented loaves of sliced bread, setting the stage for the ascension of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich to its full glory. According to my analysis, Taurus, you’re partway through your own process of generating a very practical marvel. I suspect you’re now at a phase equivalent to Julia David Chandler’s original recipe. Onward! Keep going! GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of the most popular brands of candy in North America is Milk Duds. They’re irregularly shaped globs of chocolate caramel. When they were first invented in 1926, the manufacturer’s plan was to make them perfect little spheres. But with the rather primitive technology available at that time, this proved impossible. The finished products were blobs, not globes. They tasted good, though. Workers jokingly suggested that the new confection’s name include “dud,” a word meaning “failure” or “flop.” Having sold well now for more than 90 years, Milk Duds have proved that success doesn’t necessarily require perfection. Who knows? Maybe their dudness has been an essential part of their charm. I suspect there’s a metaphorical version of Milk Duds in your future, Gemini. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In my vision of your life in the coming weeks, you’re hunting for the intimate power that you lost a while back. After many twists and trials, you find it almost by accident in a seemingly unimportant location, a place you have paid little attention to for a long time. When you recognize it, and realize you can reclaim it, your demeanor transforms. Your eyes brighten, your skin glows, your body language galvanizes. A vivid hope arises in your imagination: how to make that once-lost, now-rediscovered power come alive again and be of use to you in the present time. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The etymological dictionary says that the English slang word “cool” meant “calmly audacious” as far back as 1825. The term “groovy” was first used by jazz musicians in the 1930s to signify “performing well without grandstanding.” “Hip,” which was originally “hep,” was also popularized by the jazz community. It meant, “informed, aware, upto-date.” I’m bringing these words

to your attention because I regard them as your words of power in the coming weeks. You can be and should be as hip, cool, and groovy as you have been in a long time. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I hope you will seek out influences that give you grinning power over your worries. I hope you’ll be daring enough to risk a breakthrough in service to your most demanding dream. I hope you will make an effort to understand yourself as your best teacher might understand you. I hope you will find out how to summon more faith in yourself -- a faith not rooted in lazy wishes but in a rigorous self-assessment. Now here’s my prediction: You will fulfill at least one of my hopes, and probably more. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Polish pianist Ignacy Jan Paderewski once performed for England’s Queen Victoria. Since she possessed that bygone era’s equivalent of a backstage pass, she was able to converse with him after the show. “You’re a genius,” she told him, having been impressed with his artistry. “Perhaps, Your Majesty,” Paderewski said. “But before that I was a drudge.” He meant that he had labored long and hard before reaching the mastery the Queen attributed to him. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you Libras are currently in an extended “drudge” phase of your own. That’s a good thing! Take maximum advantage of this opportunity to slowly and surely improve your skills.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Useful revelations and provocative epiphanies are headed your way. But they probably won’t arrive sheathed in sweetness and light, accompanied by tinkling swells of celestial music. It’s more likely they’ll come barging in with a clatter, bringing bristly marvels and rough hope. In a related matter: At least one breakthrough is in your imminent future. But this blessing is more likely to resemble a wrestle in the mud than a dance on a mountaintop. None of this should be a problem, however! I suggest you enjoy the rugged but interesting fun. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of the saddest aspects of our lives as humans is the disparity between love and romance. Real love is hard work. It’s unselfish, unwavering, and rooted in generous empathy. Romance, on the other hand, tends to be capricious and inconstant, often dependent on the fluctuations of mood and chemistry. Is there anything you could do about this crazy-making problem, Aquarius? Like could you maybe arrange for your romantic experiences to be more thoroughly suffused with the primal power of unconditional love? I think this is a realistic request, especially in the coming weeks. You will have exceptional potential to bring more compassion and spiritual affection into your practice of intimacy.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The ancient Greek poet Simonides was among the first of his profession to charge a fee for his services. He made money by composing verses on demand. On one occasion, he was asked to write a stirring tribute to the victor of a mule race. He declined, declaring that his sensibilities were too fine to create art for such a vulgar activity. In response, his potential patron dramatically boosted the proposed price. Soon thereafter, Simonides produced a rousing ode that included the phrase “wind-swift steeds.” I offer the poet as a role model for you in the coming weeks, Scorpio. Be more flexible than usual about what you’ll do to get the reward you’d like.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to dream up new rituals. The traditional observances and ceremonies bequeathed to you by your family and culture may satisfy your need for comfort and nostalgia, but not your need for renewal and reinvention. Imagine celebrating homemade rites of passage designed not for who you once were but for the new person you’ve become. You may be delighted to discover how much power they provide you to shape your life’s long-term cycles. Ready to conjure up a new ritual right now? Take a piece of paper and write down two fears that inhibit your drive to create a totally interesting kind of success for yourself. Then burn that paper and those fears in the kitchen sink while chanting “I am a swashbuckling incinerator of fears!”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here’s the operative metaphor for you these days: You’re like a painter who has had a vision of an interesting work of art you could create -but who lacks some of the paint colors you would require to actualize this art. You may also need new types of brushes you haven’t used before. So here’s how I suggest you proceed: Be aggressive in tracking down the missing ingredients or tools that will enable you to accomplish your as-yet imaginary masterpiece.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to my assessment of the astrological omens, your duty right now is to be a brave observer and fairminded intermediary and honest storyteller. Your people need you to help them do the right thing. They require your influence in order to make good decisions. So if you encounter lazy communication, dispel it with your clear and concise speech. If you find that foggy thinking has started to infect important discussions, inject your clear and concise insights.

“The Curly Shuffle”—it’s stylin’ in each theme answer. ACROSS 1 Collaborative website 5 Not as many 10 Sign-___ (farewells) 14 Like fine whiskeys 15 Up and about 16 Sci-fi royal 17 Naomi Campbell or Cindy Crawford, e.g. 19 It might be hammered out 20 Chips go-with 21 Tooth material 23 Article from France 24 Channel with “Wheel of Fortune” repeats 27 “Respect for Acting” author Hagen 28 Primus frontman Claypool 31 Chute opening? 33 It’s a real grind at dinner? 36 Finnish Olympic runner Nurmi 38 Wireless company named after a Finnish city 39 Top of the corporate ladder

44 Practiced 45 Swashbuckler who left his initial as a mark 46 Place to extract some chalcopyrite 49 Business reps. 53 Start of many Quebec place names 54 Opposite of old, in German 55 Pasture mom 57 British isle that sounds like a number 58 Ending of many nonprofit URLs 61 Old voting machine part 63 Box office event 65 2001 Nintendo video game with a really thin premise? 68 Dot on a state map 69 Mushroom in miso soup 70 Holed, as a putt 71 Lion lairs 72 Star-___ mole 73 “___ quam videri” (North Carolina’s motto) DOWN

1 “Hey, how’s it going?” 2 Pet lizard 3 Astronomer Johannes 4 March middle 5 Direct relatives, slangily 6 “Mr. Blue Sky” band 7 Expansive 8 Balance 9 Be sympathetic 10 “Ye ___ Shoppe” 11 Prefer 12 Ominous sight in shark movies 13 Took to the couch 18 Dusting item 22 “Silas ___” (George Eliot novel) 25 Email that gets filtered 26 Cal ___ Resort & Casino (Lake Tahoe property once co-owned by Frank Sinatra) 29 Tiger Woods’s ex Nordegren 30 Bed frame piece 32 “Not ___ out of you!”

34 Guy with an eponymous scheme 35 Jason who plays Aquaman 37 Impassioned 39 Lines at the checkout? 40 Scheme 41 “Quiet!” 42 Top quality 43 Sprung up 47 Come back after renovation 48 Nissan SUV named for a suburb of Venice 50 “Z” director Costa-___ 51 Advertising promos of sorts 52 Minigolf motion 56 State tree of North Dakota 59 Possesses 60 Mailing centers, for short 62 Facilitate 63 Pt. of PST 64 Long-handled farm tool 66 Make do, with “out” 67 Relieve

Copyright © 2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 884 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MAY 17, 2018 • THE PULSE • 23

The Pulse 15.20 » May 17, 2018  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

The Pulse 15.20 » May 17, 2018  

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative