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MIL paid attention to those advertisements and filled her cart with Halloween décor. When my wreath arrived, sent extra speedy delivery so it would arrive on time (to my father in law’s chagrin, the thing cost almost $90 to rush deliver from their Georgia home to our Montana doorstep), the box was massive. We’re talking big enough to fit a large dog in. We carefully opened the box and unearthed a 9-pound (yes, we actually weighed the behemoth) wreath. What we unearthed can only be described as priceless.
has messy, nearly crimped looking white hair, gnarling out from his top hat. I always pictured a skeleton grim reaper with a sparkly top hat to be bald. My mistake. On the reaper’s flowing black robes, (that extend even below the massive frame, so as to blow in eerily the wind, I’m told) is a spider as large as my chubby adult hand. The arachnid is festooned from some sort of shiny pipe cleaner material. Again, if I actually read those craft store advertisements, I might know the industry terms for all these fancy trimmings.
Linking the left side of the wreath’s frame to the right side is a sign that reads “Beware.” It might urge the observer to actually beware our house (Obviously pagans reside inside, have you seen the size of their wreath?), but the letters are sparkly and plastered to what I assume By Hannah Stiff is little bits of cutesy craft paper. Next to skeleton grim reaper’s top hat is an If You Want The Décor, Be Ready To Properly Store it intricate bow, made by hand, A wise woman once probably holiday (pagan that I am), she featuring three different kinds The pièce de résistance said that you should never put a great deal of effort into hangs from the top left corner of ribbon. And in the center write an article in any this wreath. I didn’t know of the wreath. I can’t write the of this elaborate bow – you Halloween wreaths were publication, in any part of guessed it – is another plastic words “skeleton grim reaper the world about your mother a thing. Obviously, I didn’t skull. in shackles sporting a jaunty in law. Sadly, I never got the pay enough attention to the But the ribbons! They totally sparkly orange top hat with quote firsthand. So here goes. craft store advertisements distract from the spookier about making my own spooky a cute little striped spider Last year, shortly before Halloween, my mother in law wreath because, well, who are broach” without smiling. But elements of the wreath. Loops of smiling jack-o-lanterns that’s exactly what the focal we kidding? I would never (MIL, from here on out) sent are intertwined with loops me a festive wreath. Knowing make my own holiday wreath. point of this busy wreath is. Interestingly, the skeleton of black and orange polka But my thoughtful, crafty Halloween is my favorite
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The wreath is anchored on a massive, empty black picture frame. The frame is over two feet tall and adorned with ribbon, plastic skulls, glittery bats, dark roses, and orange LED lights. The lights require three battery packs to operate at max capacity. The packs are, of course, artfully hidden on the back of the frame. If the abovementioned décor weren’t enough for one wreath, read on.
