S outhweSt A cupuncture c ollege B oulder • S Ante F e
Accepting ApplicAtionS For SeptemBer 2020 SeSSionS
BY DAN SAVAGE
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Dear Dan: My wife asked me to refusing to come in your wife when write to you about our situation. you know that feeling you come inside We’ve been married for 15 years. I her is important to her pleasure is a am 50 years old and my wife is a weirdly literal kind of withholding decade younger. We are a heterosexbehavior — and considering how GGG ual couple with kids. I am a submisyour wife has been, SUBHUB, refusing sive male and I like to play with my to come in her so you can “continue” ass using different sized dildos. I presumably without her isn’t someenormously enjoy being penetrated thing a loving submissive would do. with sex toys. A few years ago I introIt’s something a selfish asshole does. duced the idea of a FLR — female-led Your wife doubtless suspects the relationship — to my wife same thing I do: You ROMAN ROBINSON and she accepted it. We aren’t coming in her are a happy couple! My because you’d rather wife is more on the tradiblow your load in the tional side of sex and I shower. She sees you respect that. We have when you slip out of bed PIV sex twice a week to go cram sex toys in and I try to give her pleayour ass and blow your sure as much as I can. load down the down the Looks like everything is drain instead of finishing OK, right? But recently in her. And if that’s what she complained that I you’re doing — and I’m have stopped ejaculating pretty sure that’s what when we have sex. And you’re doing — then it’s true: When we you’re treating PIV sex engage in vaginal penetration, I no with your wife as foreplay and the time longer ejaculate. I like it this way you spend alone with your ass toys as because I don’t lose my sex drive and the main event. If I were your wife, I can continue. But she doesn’t like it. SUBHUB, I would find that annoying For her my ejaculate is the “cherry on too. And however much you love your top” of the sex and my coming during plugs and dildos, I would hope you sex is important for her pleasure and love your wife more. At any rate, you satisfaction. My wife thinks that I aren’t submissive to your plugs and stopped ejaculating because I develdildos — you’re submissive to your oped the habit of pleasuring myself wife, who isn’t made of silicone and with dildos and butt plugs in the who has needs and feelings that have shower. My wife thinks the toys are to be taken into account. distracting me. Do you think it’s true? At the very least, SUBHUB, your If that’s the case, what should we do? wife’s pleasure should be your first I love my wife but I also love my butt priority during PIV sex — and it’s not plugs and dildos. like you can’t combine PIV with a little —Spouse Unpleased By butt play. You can always shove one Husband’s Un Blasts of your beloved plugs in your ass before you have PIV sex with the Dear SUBHUB: You should come wife. And if you didn’t refrain from in your wife. ejaculating every single time you had If your wife is in charge — you PIV, SUBHUB, if it was something you proposed a “female-led relationship” were allowed to once in a while with and she accepted — then she gets to your wife’s permission, she might be give the orders and you’re supposed willing to accommodate your desire to do what she says. (Within reason, every 10th time you have PIV. of course.) So when she says, “Come Listen to Dan and comedian Jay in me,” you should say, “How high up Jurden on the Lovecast! your vaginal canal would you like me Send questions to mail@savto come?” Even if you weren’t in a agelove.net, follow Dan on Twitter @ female-led relationship, SUBHUB, fakedansavage and visit ITMFA.org. BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE
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www.acupuncturecollege.edu • 303.581.9955
JULY 16, 2020
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