Publisher, Fran Zankowski Editor, Matt Cortina Circulation Manager, Cal Winn EDITORIAL Senior Editor, Angela K. Evans Arts and Culture Editor, Caitlin Rockett Special Editions Editor, Michael J. Casey Adventure Editor, Emma Athena Contributing Writers, Peter Alexander, Dave Anderson, Will Brendza, Rob Brezsny, Paul Danish, Sarah Haas, Jim Hightower, Dave Kirby, John Lehndorff, Rico Moore, Amanda Moutinho, Leland Rucker, Dan Savage, Alan Sculley, Ryan Syrek, Christi Turner, Betsy Welch, Tom Winter, Gary Zeidner SALES AND MARKETING Market Development Manager, Kellie Robinson Account Executives, Matthew Fischer, Sami Wainscott Advertising Coordinator, Corey Basciano Mrs. Boulder Weekly, Mari Nevar PRODUCTION Art Director, Susan France Senior Graphic Designer, Mark Goodman Graphic Designer, Daisy Bauer CIRCULATION TEAM Dave Hastie, Dan Hill, George LaRoe, Jeffrey Lohrius, Elizabeth Ouslie, Rick Slama BUSINESS OFFICE Bookkeeper, Regina Campanella Founder/CEO, Stewart Sallo Editor-at-Large, Joel Dyer Cover, Courtesy of the State of Colorado June 25, 2020 Volume XXVII, Number 45 As Boulder County's only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county's most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you're interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@ boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper. 690 South Lashley Lane, Boulder, CO, 80305 p 303.494.5511 f 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. © 2020 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.
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BOULDER COUNTY’S INDEPENDENT VOICE
A modest proposal for settling accounts with America’s latter-day Red Guards By Paul Danish
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t was one of those war stories that if it wasn’t true, it should have been. I first heard it in the 1960s during a bull session with CU political science professor Conrad McBride. I was one of Mac’s graduate assistants at the time. So was the other guy in the room, but he was 10 or 15 years older than I was — old enough to remember World War II and its aftermath. The other guy had some great stories, including one about what happened to servicemen who lost government property. Lost as in misplaced, not lost as in battle. Big, expensive pieces of government property, like Sherman tanks and B-17 bombers. I
It seems hard to believe that someone could lose a tank or a plane, but, hey, it was a big war and there were lots of tanks and planes to keep track of. The U.S. built 12,731 B-17s during the war, and at least 49,234 Sherman tanks. B-17s cost about $238,000 each in 1945 dollars, or $2.7 million in 2018 bucks. A Sherman went for $33,000 in 1942, or more than $550,000 today. So what happened to someone who dropped a bomber or a tank through the cracks? According to the story, Uncle Sam billed him for it. Twenty years after the war there were guys who were still having part of their pay garnished every month to JUNE 25, 2020
compensate the government for a missing Flying Fortress or Sherman. Like I said, I don’t know if the story is true or urban legend. But it strikes me that this would be a great way to settle accounts with the excitable boys and girls who are tearing down historic statues and defacing monuments around the country: Bill them for the cost of the statues and the cost of replacing them. In addition to whatever criminal penalties might be involved for destroying government property, bring a civil action against the perps for the cost of the original statues (adjusted for inflation, of course), the cost of see DANISH PLAN Page 6
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