Boulder Weekly 03.27.2025

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MORE JAIL, LESS SHELTER

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ASK A THERAPIST

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BOULDER'S BIG GAY HISTORY

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Meet the women leading BoCo’s food scene P.27

FOOD

Appetizers/Tapas

Asian Fusion

Bagel

Bakery

BBQ

Breakfast/Brunch

Burger

Business Lunch

Catering

Chinese Restaurant

Donuts

Fine Dining Restaurant

Food Hall

Food Truck

Gluten-Free Menu

Ice Cream/Frozen

Yogurt

Indian/Nepalese Restaurant

Italian Restaurant

Japanese Restaurant

Kid-Friendly Restaurant

Lyons Restaurant

Mexican Restaurant

Teahouse

Wine Selection

HOME & GARDEN

Pancake/Waffle

Pizza

Place to eat outdoors

Place to go on a first date

Restaurant Dessert

Restaurant Service

Sandwich

Seafood

Sushi Restaurant

Take-out

Thai Restaurant

Veggie Burger Wings

DRINKS

Bar

Beer selection

Cidery Cocktails

Coffee Shop

Coffee Roaster

Craft Brewery

Distillery

Happy Hour

Margarita

Arborist

Carpet/Flooring

Electrician

Florist

Furniture Store

Heating, Venting, and Air Conditioning

Home Builder/Contractor

Home Finishing

Home Improvement

Hot Tub/Spa

Kitchen Supply Store

Landscaper

Mattress Store

Nursery/Garden Center

Painter

Pest Control

Plumber

Roofing Contractor

Solar Company

ENTERTAINMENT & CULTURE

Art Gallery

Bank/Financial Institution

Festival/Event

Live Jazz Venue

New Restaurant
Niwot Restaurant
Overall Restaurant

Non-Profit

Open Mic

Place to Dance

Place to Work Remote

Private School

Sports Bar

FITNESS & HEALTH

Acupuncture Clinic

Barber Shop

Chiropractor

Climbing/Parkour Gym

Dance Studio

Day Spa

Dental Care

Golf Course

Gym/Fitness Center

Hair Salon

Hospital

Lasik Services

Martial Arts

Massage Medical Doctor

Nail Salon

Orthodontist

Auto

Shop

New

Credit: Tyler Hickman

MARCH 27, 2025

Volume 32, Number 32

PUBLISHER: Stewart Sallo

EDITORIAL

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: Shay Castle

ARTS EDITOR: Jezy J. Gray

REPORTERS: Kaylee Harter, Tyler Hickman

FOOD EDITOR: John Lehndorff

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Rob Brezsny, Michael J. Casey, Michele Goldberg, Lauren Hill, Dan Savage, Toni Tresca

COVER: Tyler Hickman

SALES AND MARKETING

DIRECTOR OF ADVERTISING:

Kellie Robinson

SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE:

Matthew Fischer

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES:

Chris Allred, Austen Lopp

SPECIAL PROJECTS MANAGER: Carter Ferryman

MRS. BOULDER WEEKLY: Mari Nevar

PRODUCTION

CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Erik Wogen

GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Chris Sawyer

CIRCULATION

CIRCULATION MANAGER: Cal Winn

CIRCULATION TEAM: Sue Butcher, Ken Rott, Chris Bauer

BUSINESS OFFICE

BOOKKEEPER: Austen Lopp

FOUNDER / CEO: Stewart Sallo

As Boulder County’s only independently owned newspaper, Boulder Weekly is dedicated to illuminating truth, advancing justice and protecting the First Amendment through ethical, no-holds-barred journalism and thought-provoking opinion writing. Free every Thursday since 1993, the Weekly also offers the county’s most comprehensive arts and entertainment coverage. Read the print version, or visit boulderweekly.com. Boulder Weekly does not accept unsolicited editorial submissions. If you’re interested in writing for the paper, please send queries to: editorial@ boulderweekly.com. Any materials sent to Boulder Weekly become the property of the newspaper.

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Phone: 303.494.5511, FAX: 303.494.2585 editorial@boulderweekly.com www.boulderweekly.com

Boulder Weekly is published every Thursday. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. ©2025 Boulder Weekly, Inc., all rights reserved.

Boulder Weekly welcomes your correspondence via email (letters@boulderweekly.com). Preference will be given to short letters (under 300 words) that deal with recent stories or local issues, and letters may be edited for style, length and libel. Letters should include your name, address and telephone number for verification. We do not publish anonymous letters or those signed with pseudonyms. Letters become the property of Boulder Weekly and will be published on our website.

DEI PANIC COMES FOR PLANTS

Recently, the Boulder County Nature Association put on an EcoSymposium. It was wonderful. It provided a balance of wisdom, humility, hope and caution related to the natural world we live in here in Boulder and depend on around the planet.

The one thing that shocked me, but I should have anticipated it, was a speaker who in a distressed voice stated that applications

for grants now have to fear the word diversity. That’s right: Even in regard to plant communities — where diversity is a key component to health, stability and

resilience — science is walking barefoot on razor blades.

There is hope and wisdom, but critical analysis of the world around us is hard work. That includes learning from the past and those wiser than ourselves.

I am reading:

• Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know by Adam Grant

• Defectors: The Rise of the Latino Far Right and What It Means for America by Paola Ramos

• Animal Farm by George Orwell

• On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy D. Snyder

Think again, and again. — Patrick Murphy, Boulder

Credit: Michael Menefee

GOV’T WATCH

What your local officials are up to this week

BOULDER CITY COUNCIL

There is no council meeting this week due to BVSD and CU spring break. On April 3, council will:

• Present findings from the city’s Affordable Housing Nexus Study, which examines the impact of singlefamily home expansions and demolitions on the cost of housing in the city.

Because demolishing homes to replace them and significant home expansions are not considered “new” residential development, this type of development is not regulated by Boulder’s Inclusionary Housing laws, which requires new builds to either contribute affordable housing or pay into funding for it. The 2024 study aims to inform council on establishing fees for residential demolition/ expansion projects in the future.

BOULDER COUNTY COMMISSIONERS

On March 27, commissioners will:

• Hold a public hearing on over $12 million of proposed Quarter 1 budget amendment requests.

The largest impact stands with the General Fund, with requests totaling nearly $5.9 million. This includes $407,919 to the County Attorney’s office for three full-time employment positions and funding for outside legal counsel to address additional work stemming from the creation of the Boulder County Employee’s Union (BCEU), such as collective bargaining negotiations.

The Sheriff’s Office is also requesting an amendment for an additional $2.3 million to hire 25 full-time employees to staff the new booking wing of Boulder County Jail. The money is from the same ballot measure that is funding the county’s Alternative Sentencing Facility.

The new space adds roughly 60 beds to the jail, requiring more

employees to staff, said county communications specialist Jennifer Churchill. According to notes shared with commissioners, the new staff will help get “significantly closer to full activation of the new space” which will “reduce overcrowding and eventually return to in-person visitation.”

In-person visitation at the county jail has been suspended indefinitely, according to the county’s website. Visitors can schedule video calls for .05 cents a minute for up to 30 minutes.

The in-person meeting begins at 9 a.m. Attend virtually: bit.ly/ BoCoMarch27BW

On April 2, commissioners will:

• Host the Consortium of Cities meeting, where they will discuss trash, recycling and composting within the county and receive updates on progress toward raising the regional minimum wage, an effort that stalled out last fall after the City of Boulder was the sole municipality to move forward with a bill to raise local wages.

LONGMONT CITY COUNCIL

On March 25, council:

• Held a discussion to determine a new way of allocating money from the city’s Human Services Funding Program.

Longmont Human Services, which provides funding for local agencies and programs, has seen a steady increase in requests for funding since 2021. While the department’s budget has increased to 3% of the general fund, allowing it to support more programs and agencies, Human Services reported a funding gap of $1 million in both 2023 and 2024.

“We’re… just seeing a growth in the amount of need,” said Human Services Manager Eliberto Mendoza, citing rising costs of housing and food insecurity.

The new funding model will be discussed during an April 19 Human Services special board meeting, and a final decision is expected by early May.

All agenda items subject to change.

NEWS

BOCO, BRIEFLY

Your local news at a glance

ALL ROADS REDUCING SHELTER CAPACITY

Boulder’s only general-population shelter for the homeless, All Roads (formerly Boulder Shelter for the Homeless) is reducing its capacity amid cuts in local government grants and “ongoing uncertainty around state and federal funding for homelessness services.”

The shelter will reduce the number of beds it provides each night from 180 to 160 beginning April 21. The reduction comes after the shelter increased its capacity just last June, but the cuts in local funding since “have made it impossible to maintain the staffing necessary for that level of service,” according to a March 20 statement from the organization.

Since last June, the shelter has turned people away on two out of three nights because the facility was at capacity, according to the city’s homelessness dashboard.

One of the nonprofit’s grants from the county was slashed by $280,000 from 2024 to 2025, a 30% reduction of that grant and the largest in the organization’s 42-year history. The shelter receives $1.5 million in state and federal funding, according to an All Roads spokesperson.

Whether the shelter can increase its capacity again in the winter, when more people typically sleep there, will depend on securing new funding, the statement said.

According to spokesperson Andy Schultheiss, the shelter would return to the higher capacity if enough funds are raised to exceed the annual budget. The shortfall causing the reduction is about $150,000 he said.

NED LOCALS PETITION MINE REOPENING

A petition to halt the reopening and expansion of Caribou Cross Mine has garnered more than 700 signatures as of March 25.

The mine’s operations were paused

in 2022 due to heavy metals leaking into water sources and a failure to report water quality data. Now, state regulators are working to determine whether the mine can reopen. The new application proposes a permit area of 205 acres, an increase of nearly 195 acres from the initial permit for 10 acres.

The petition is organized by Maggi Mae Hendricks, whose father ran the mine’s operation for 50 years, according to the Change.org site.

The expansion “threatens to degrade vital land including stripping trees, soil, [and] other long term ecological damages” such as water and air pollution, the petition states. “Nederland, Colorado, known for its pristine landscapes, clean air, and pure water, deserves better.”

The Colorado Division of Reclamation, Mining, and Safety (DRMS) is accepting public comments through April 2 via mail at 1313 Sherman St. Room 215 Denver, CO 80203 or at dnrlaserfiche.state.co.us/ Forms/DRMS_Comment.

IN OTHER NEWS…

• Electric car registration in Boulder County increased by 42% from 2023 to 2024, according to a new report from the county clerk and recorder.

• A fire at Longmont’s Sugarmill property has destroyed a 600-foot-long, two-story building on the site.

First responders received a call about the fire just after midnight Monday, and the building was fully engulfed when they arrived, according to a release from the Boulder County Sheriff’s Office.

“Due to hazardous materials and conditions, fire personnel will not be actively fighting the fire, and it will burn throughout the night,” the Monday release from the sheriff’s office stated.

The fire is now controlled and contained, but is still “smoldering,” Mountain View Fire Rescue spokesperson Rick Tillery said Wednesday.

“As long as there’s no outside intervention, there should be no spread,” he said. Crews will continue to patrol the area.

Tillery said said the fire was “likely” human-caused, but that the investigation is ongoing. This is the fourth fire on the property since 2016, according to reports.

BLESSINGS DAY SPA

At Blessings, we provide an award-winning facial experience in our cozy spa. Our personalized treatments blend modern techniques with traditional practices, helping you feel radiant and relaxed.

We pride ourselves on upholding a no up-charging principle. This means you recieve everything your skin needs as part of your facial service, without surprise fees or hidden costs. We ensure that you get the best care without any extra charges.

FOUR PAWS & CO

SLocally Owned and Operated, Voted Best Women Owned Business, Best Day Spa & Best Independent Business, Best of Boulder 2024.

ince opening in 2003, Four Paws & Co. has specialized in premium natural foods and treats, including frozen diets and raw bones. Along with the excellent choices in food for cats and dogs, we carry supplements, grooming supplies, leashes & collars, toys, beds, and cat condos. It’s safe to say there is something for every pet in the store. There is also the Friends of Four

Blessings Day Spa 240 2nd Ave, Niwot 303-652-0321

Niwotblessings.com

Paws Frequent Buyer Program. You receive a punch card and once that is filled, you will receive a $10 Four Paws gift card. Last, but certainly not least, Four Paws offers two special services. We can deliver the food you need to your door, and we have a pet sitting service. Stop in soon and see how Four Paws & Co. can help you care for your best friend.

THE PUBLIC SMOKE SHOP

The Public Smoke Shop, proudly serving the Longmont community for over six years!

We provide quality blown glass, tapestries, accessories, hats and T-shirts. Products from Seedless, No Bad Ideas, Bio Zong, Roor-

Liquid, Water Pipes, Hookahs from Egypt (variety from around the world). Locally owned and operated, competitive pricing, friendly knowledgeable staff. Stop by, the music is playing and we are here to assist!

1225 Ken Pratt Blvd. #108 Longmont, CO 303-485-1565 www.fourpawsandco.com 341 Main Street Longmont, CO 303-827-3181 www.facebook.com/publicmon

BRICKS ON MAIN

Shop from hundreds of Colorado brands, listen to local music, join community events. From cool t-shirts and souvenirs

to food products, home goods, and everything in between...

471 Main Street, Longmont 720-600-2350 Www.bricksretail.com

BROWN’S SHOE FIT COMPANY

At Brown’s, we know feet. Our expert staff will measure your feet to ensure a proper comfortable fit. With a broad range of widths and sizes, we can serve even hard-to-fit customers. We also understand most common foot ailments,

such as plantar fasciitis, neuropathy, bunions, diabetic feet, over pronation, and just plain tired feet! We’ll help find the right shoes to make you happy.

373 Main Street, Longmont 303-776-2920 Www.brownslongmont.com

WILD BIRDS UNLIMITED

Locally woman-owned and operated, Wild Birds Unlimited Specializes in bringing people and nature together through the hobby of backyard bird feeding. We offer a wide variety of nature-related products and expert, local advice. Our store stocks the highest quality items made in the the USA with

OZO COFFEE

Oemphasis on eco-friendly products and recycled plastics. We source our unique gifts from Fair Trade companies and local artisans. We also have gift cards and last-minute gift ideas. Stop in and let us explain our mission to Save the Songbirds one backyard at a time!

1520 S. Hover Street, Suite D Longmont, CO 720-680-0551 www.wbu.com/longmont

ZO Coffee Company is a coffee roaster & retail operator based in Boulder, Colorado with Espresso Cafe locations in Boulder and Longmont, Colorado, Founded in 2007, OZO Coffee has based its growth

on core principles of service, quality, community, and sustainability. We are grateful for the opportunity to share our passion for coffee with you.

JUSTIN HARTMAN, OZO FOUNDER

1232-A S. Hover St. www.ozocoffee.com

COMMUNITY

BENDING TOWARD JUSTICE

New local history exhibit explores ‘a uniquely Boulder story of LGBTQ+ rights’

Half a century ago, a quiet but revolutionary act unfolded in the Boulder County Courthouse. With little fanfare, county clerk Clela Rorex became the first public official in the country to issue a same-sex marriage license on March 26, 1975. It was a decision based on principle rather than politics, but it sparked a firestorm of controversy and broader discussion about LGBTQ+ rights.

“Resurrecting the stories of ordinary people who shaped history is transformative,” says Emily Zinn, director of education at the Museum of Boulder and lead curator of its newly opened exhibit, Bending the Arc: A Uniquely Boulder Story of LGBTQ+ Rights. “It means a lot to those who lived it, and helps young people see what’s possible.”

On March 14, nearly 50 years after that historic day, guests climbed the museum’s newly painted rainbow staircase to celebrate the opening of Bending the Arc. Speaking to a crowd of more than 100 people gathered in the lobby of the Tebo Center on North Broadway, Museum of Boulder executive director Chris Taylor shared how he heard about Clela Rorex three times in one day while interviewing for the position.

D.C. or national headlines — it’s made in cities like Boulder by everyday people with the courage to stand up when it matters most,” said Mardi Moore, CEO of Rocky Mountain Equality, an exhibit partner. “We owe it to [Fuller, Rorex and Tate] and ourselves to keep bending the arc toward justice.”

CURATING CHANGE

Piecing together the history of Bending the Arc brought together decades of archival materials, personal narratives and community contributions. The exhibit centers on a vast collection of

The story, he said, is “more complex than two men walking into a courthouse.”

Bending the Arc peels back those historical layers. The exhibit examines the city’s legacy of LGBTQ+ advocacy, including the leadership of Mayor Penfield Tate II, city council member Tim Fuller and Rorex herself.

“History isn’t just made in Washington,

documents, including letters sent to Rorex — some supportive, others condemning — offering visitors a raw glimpse of public sentiment in 1975.

Rorex isn’t the only advocate receiving their due recognition in the exhibit. Tate, Boulder’s first and only Black mayor, defeated a recall campaign but lost reelection in 1975 largely due to his progressive policies, including his support for a contentious amendment to the city’s Human Rights Ordinance that protected

people against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Fuller, a gay man who was closeted during his time on council, was successfully recalled for his role in amending the ordinance.

“This exhibit began with commemorating the 50th anniversary of [the first samesex] marriage licenses,” Zinn says. “But after talking to community members, namely historian Glenda Russell, we realized we needed to take a broader view.”

As a queer person, Russell wanted to see more than allies represented. In addi-

tion to the letters from the museum archive and items from the Tate family, there are campaign buttons, T-shirts and photographs related to activism by LGBTQ+ members of the community from Russell’s collection.

For Zinn, who began working on Bending the Arc shortly after Taylor took the helm last June, the endeavor is more than just an academic pursuit — it’s a continuation of her family’s commitment to activism. Born and raised in Boulder, Zinn’s mother, Sonny, was an educator

Gov. Jared Polis speaks during the opening of Bending the Arc at the Museum of Boulder on March 14. Credit: Anna Bedell
Boulder County Clerk Clela Rorex became the first public official in the country to issue a same-sex marriage license on March 26, 1975. Courtesy: Carnegie Library for Local History
Penfield Tate II (front-center) and Tim Fuller (right) are among the “ordinary people who shaped history” in Boulder. Courtesy: Penfield Tate family archive

and social justice advocate who participated in demonstrations supporting civil rights efforts.

“My parents were very political,” Sonny recalls. “I grew up at some of the demonstrations you see photos of in the exhibit. I was raised to respect everyone and assumed it was like that everywhere. All my friends and their families were advocates, so when people pushed back, we were surprised. Why would anybody push back?”

Walking through the exhibit for the first time, Sonny was struck by the intensity of emotions it evoked. Seeing the language used in some letters opposing same-sex marriage served as a stark reminder of the animosity some people have towards queer people.

“It’s shocking to see how hateful our nation can be,” she says. “Even in a place like Boulder.”

That experience brought back conversations she had with her daughter throughout her childhood — discussions about equality, justice and the responsibility to remember. Seeing how the show affected her mother strengthened the younger Zinn’s belief in the power of stories to move the needle on progress.

“With any history that’s not major mainstream history, it lives on through conversations and memories in the community,” Zinn says. “The opportunity to bring the community together and celebrate the actions of everyday people is the reason to do all this.”

THE LEGACY CONTINUES

As the opening night unfolded, the significance of the moment was not lost on the speakers. Colorado Gov. Jared Polis, the nation’s first openly gay governor, pointed to the enduring impact of the actions of social justice advocates in Boulder.

“When Clela Rorex first issued those marriage licenses, she showed us what was possible,” Polis said. “The inclusive view of Boulder is an important part of

Boulder’s future as well … with the challenges we face dealing with our own federal government on many of these issues, local and state advocacy is more important than ever before.”

Boulder Mayor Aaron Brockett echoed this sentiment, noting that he has trans children and is aware of the ongoing challenges.

“The title of this exhibit reminds us that

the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” Brockett said, quoting Martin Luther King, Jr. “The problem is that bend is not a straightforward one. It goes back and forth sometimes, and the exhibit calls that out.”

Beyond Boulder, Bending the Arc serves as a significant touchstone in the national fight for LGBTQ+ rights. The exhibit’s opening coincides with ongoing efforts at the state level to expand queer historical recognition, including the Boulder County Courthouse, which was recently added to the National Register of Historic Places for its role in this landmark moment.

As Bending the Arc stands on display, its presence is a stark reminder of how far Boulder has come and how far there is still to go. As visitors descend rainbow steps, the hope is that they carry this history forward.

“As you experience this powerful exhibit, ask yourself: Where can I be bold?” Moore said. “Because the actions we take today shape the history of tomorrow.”

ON VIEW: Bending the Arc: A Uniquely Boulder Story of LGBTQ+ Rights. March 14 through Sept. 29, Museum of Boulder at Tebo Center, 2205 Broadway, Boulder. Free to $10

Jean Dubofsky (right), the first woman to become a Colorado Supreme Court Justice, was the recipient of Rocky Mountain Equality’s 2023 Changemaker award. Courtesy: Museum of Boulder
Tim Fuller (center) and Penfield Tate II (right) pose with fellow city council members in 1971. Courtesy: Carnegie Library for Local History
Tim Fuller (left) at a Boulder City Council meeting in 1971. Courtesy: Penfield Tate family archive

ASK A THERAPIST

How do I make friends in Colorado?

Welcome to Ask a Therapist, the first of a recurring monthly advice column answering readers’ questions and providing practical strategies for approaching struggles with mindfulness and intention.

I’m Michele Goldberg, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Find Your Center, A Therapy Collective. I have 15 years of experience in counseling individuals, couples and families. We recently moved from L.A. and are passionate about supporting the Boulder community.

Send us your most pressing problems: All responses are confidential: bit.ly/ AskaTherapistBW.

The following question is one I hear often in my practice: How do I make friends and meaningful connections in a new city?

ANSWER

Moving to a new place takes courage, and it’s normal to feel isolated at first. Finding community and a sense of home takes time. Loneliness is a healthy sign that you’re in transition and have a natural desire for relationships. Rebuilding is a slow process, so be

PRACTICAL WAYS TO BUILD CONNECTION

Adult friendship often grows through convenience, shared activities, proximity and common life stages. Structured and unstructured social settings both have value and provide at least one nexus of connection: Formal groups offer consistency and exist independent of others’ validation or interest, while everyday micro-interactions (at a coffee shop, dog park or co-working space) create familiarity over time.

Consider spaces aligned with your values, such as:

patient with your efforts. Your initial objective isn’t an instant bestie (instantly charged bonds often yield chaotic relationships), but to create social touchpoints that help you feel engaged. Plant diverse, well-distributed seeds that provide encouragement for a connected future. Water them weekly.

CHECK YOUR EXPECTATIONS

What does connection mean to you? What are your expectations, and are they realistic? Anticipate that you may

• Meetup groups based on hobbies, interests or intersecting identities

• Lectures and performances

• Local volunteer opportunities, including animal shelters and senior support centers

• Group fitness classes or outdoor recreation groups

• Political associations and discussion groups

• Faith-based or spiritual gatherings (church, temple, mosque, 12-step programs, etc.)

• LGBTQ+ groups

• Co-working spaces, book clubs and community skills workshops (pottery, craft)

• Local education (language seminars, financial literacy

be sensitive to rejection. Prepare for unhelpful coping mechanisms to control that feeling (drinking too much, judging others, seeking romantic relationships, trauma dumping or people pleasing).

Plan to be mindful of ways you compromise and make exceptions to justify relationships that are not right for you. Retain your standards. And allow for feelings of insecurity. Don’t give up!

TAKE INITIATIVE

Nourish every opportunity. Say hello and express genuine curiosity about the person checking out your groceries. Spread interest, respect and humanity. Consider it a win if you make the effort. Try one small, meaningful social action each week, whether that’s attending a community event, joining a club or starting a conversation with a neighbor. Before, during and after, track your emotional responses and any automatic thoughts that arise (e.g., “I’ll be awkward,” “They won’t like me”). This can provide insight into core beliefs or schemas that might be shaping your experience. Challenge them.

EMBRACE VULNERABILITY

It’s normal to feel exposed when trying to

training, cooking classes)

• Community gardens, local conservation advocacy and outreach opportunities

• Parenting groups, school events, PTA meetings

• Live music, dance, art exhibits and other expressive media

• Dog training and obedience classes

Use the Meetup App and read local publications (shoutout to Boulder Weekly!) to learn about upcoming events.

HOW TO START A CONVERSATION

You don’t need to be clever or unique to start a conversation. A simple “Hi” is enough. Most

build new relationships, and not every social attempt will lead to a connection. If you’re an adult, most will not. You can handle rejection.

Success isn’t measured by making immediate friends: It’s about consistently putting yourself in situations where relationships can naturally develop. It’s about making others feel seen and acknowledged. It’s also an opportunity to selfaffirm that you are enough, worthy and deserving of love, regardless of the reception.

BE YOUR OWN FRIEND

Plan self-date adventures on a regular basis. Doing so also removes the temptation to substitute digital relationships, or even vicarious living, for real-world experiences.

Hope itself can help alleviate loneliness before local bonds do. Having a plan with small, sustainable steps can make this transition feel more manageable.

This column is for informational/entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional, personalized medical, psychological or therapeutic treatment. While we strive for accuracy and inclusion, our feedback may not account for all competing theories and research in the field.

people appreciate friendly acknowledgment, and small talk is a bridge to deeper conversations.

I equate it to butt sniffing as a dog: it isn’t the content of the conversation, but the exchange of energy: establishing an open line, determining (largely through nonverbal cues) the early safety and trustworthiness of a peer and demonstrating through posture, tone and space how closed or open we are to contact.

If it helps, have a few topics in mind. Prepare something light and contextually relevant, like commenting on an event, asking for a recommendation or mentioning something you both

have in common. (“Have you been coming to this class for a while?” or “That book looks interesting, have you read other things by that author?”) You may fare better with open-ended prompts, unless it’s clear someone is in a time crunch.

While it’s OK to have an idea of what to say, avoid sounding overly rehearsed. Instead, focus on being present and engaged.

People can sense when you’re genuinely interested, and that’s far more important than delivering the perfect opening line. Pay attention to their responses and adjust naturally; conversation is a dynamic process, not a performance.

Courtesy: Michele Goldberg, Find Your Center

MUSIC

FALLING INTO PLACE

Denver indie-rock trio

Barbara finds composure in the chaos

In a perfect world, the dust settles in the aftermath of life’s most chaotic periods to clear a neat, sunshiney path. In the real world, sometimes the dust never settles — it surges up and around in a messy whirlwind of howling gusts and flying debris.

In these moments, one can crumble. Or, in indie-rock outfit Barbara’s case, they sit back, stretch out and smell the roses.

Barbara’s upcoming record So This Is Living is the older, more composed sibling to their 2022 debut Escape Artist, which, as bassist Bridget Hartman describes it, was adolescent — experiencing life’s storms and searching for a way to cope.

“Escape Artist was us escaping life; it was written during a time where there was more turmoil, when we were still finding ourselves after life happening, and then we all started settling into our lives and growing,” Hartman says. “And Barbara was there, growing with us.”

So This Is Living finds the three-piece ensemble still expanding into new territory, equipped with an audibly fresh air of balance and poise.

“We’re coming into ourselves,” says drummer Anna Panella. “We’re building our confidence with our sound, we’re building our confidence with our ideas — knowing that our musical ideas sound good and feel comfortable and feel right, rather than just grasping at straws and seeing what sticks.”

‘MORE INTENTION’

Last month’s lead single, “Dark Water Disco,” is an excellent example of Barbara’s ability to seamlessly and boldly breach new territory. It’s a psychedelic rock jam in its purest form, eventually unraveling into measure upon measure of

bossa nova-tinged, keyboard-heavy bliss.

The accompanying music video — a home-movie style montage shot on a turn-of-the-century camcorder — is a visual identifier of everything Barbara is about. It’s an homage to each other, to Calgary, where they play a local festival every year called Bob-Sled, and to the Front Range music scene they’ve grown to cherish together.

“This is the exact kind of song, when we were living together, that we would play when we’re all drunk in the kitchen, dancing together, just the three of us hav-

ing a great time,” Panella said. “We created a song that fits that soundtrack, so that’s also what we wanted the video to encompass.”

The band’s members recently stopped living together after several years, a change that fueled Barbara’s growth. Vocalist and guitarist Camilla Vaitaitis says a bit of distance deepened their bond.

“When we are able to get together and play, there’s a lot more intention,” Vaitaitis says. “It’s cool to see how that intention is coming through in our music.”

‘NOT FORCING IT’

This new sense of intentionality manifests collectively and individually. Barbara’s three members met as music students at the University of Denver — each classically trained, committed to their craft and completely burnt out.

Being introduced to sounds and songs from all over the world helped reignite their passion, Harman says.

School “exposed us to so many different kinds of music. It gave us this vocabulary and this ability to critically listen, fully immerse ourselves in it and figure out what it is we enjoy about songs.”

The trio discovered a shared affinity for Brazilian music at DU that strengthened after seeing São Paulo artist Sessa at Bob-Sled in 2023.

“Now, I feel like almost every song on the album has some kind of a Brazilian influence, if it’s nylon string guitar, or certain rhythms, or the acoustic bass,” Vaitaitis says. “A really deep part of the album is our love for the music of Brazil.”

So This Is Living presented a critical opportunity for Barbara to return to their respective instruments — Vaitaitis on piano, Hartman on saxophone and Panella on trombone — and fall back in love with them.

“Now that we’re integrating our classically trained instruments, it’s almost healing some of the burnout,” Vaitaitis says. “It’s helped me to introduce it into this new environment of Barbara, where it’s not my focus, but it gets to be part of my musical fabric.”

All these pieces — maturity, confidence, individuality, friendship, curiosity, expertise — were once fragments, difficult to distinguish and nearly impossible to truly harness. Now, they’re tools Barbara is deftly using to introduce something entirely original to the local indie scene.

“It’s this patient process of letting it fall into place and not forcing it,” Hartman says. “That’s the really fun part about how we started and how we’re growing.”

ON THE BILL: Barbara

album release show with Milk Blossoms and Flutter. 8 p.m. Saturday, April 5, Hi-Dive, 7 S Broadway, Denver. $15

Since meeting at the University of Denver, indie-rock outfit Barbara have carved a place for themselves on the Front Range. Credit: Jo Babb

STUPID PEOPLE

‘Death

of a Unicorn’ is a shallow

with nothing to say

Deep in the heart of a nature preserve, a billionaire is dying from cancer. The specificity of the cancer goes unmentioned, as do the location of the preserve and the source of the his wealth. They’re not important. What is important is that a large electromagnetic cloud conjured by the unicorns renders cell phones inert and causes technology to malfunction when you need it most. Seems like a poor place to put a state-of-the-art compound in a spare-no-expense situation to save a dying man.

One of the many frustrations of Death of a Unicorn, written and directed by Alex Scharfman, is how shockingly literal it is. The billionaire on death’s door needs unicorn blood to live — that old chestnut — and he’ll do anything to live another day. And not for reasons, but because that’s how wealthy people behave, right? He’s not a character; he’s a type. One cut from the same cloth as Mark Ruffalo’s broadly gestured demigod at the center of Mickey 17 Saturday Night Live skits feel more nuanced.

Anyway, the story: The titular unicorn dies — sort of — when spineless family attorney Elliot (Paul Rudd) and daughter Ridley (Jenna Ortega) strike it with their car. Not the sharpest tools in the shed, they shove it in the back of the SUV and continue to the billionaire’s compound where Elliot is to iron out the details of the estate. Odell (Richard E. Grant) is the terminal patriarch, Belinda (Téa

Leoni) is the reverential wife, and Shepard (Will Poulter) is the requisite smart-ass son with a drink and drug problem. If that might make Unicorn sound like a satirical creature feature, reader, you wish. A bad remake of Jurassic Park with crappy CGI unicorns hits closer.

As visually bland as the unicorns are, the human characters are somehow worse. Like Odell, Belinda and Shepard are equally broad types with no personality and plenty of bad jokes. Meanwhile, Ridley voices concerns, but no one listens. Most frustrating is Elliot, who is willing to sell his soul for a handsome sum, only for the script to try and redeem him by laying the blame at the foot of his dying wife’s wish. I’m sure a lot of wives on death’s door implore their husbands to take care of the children. Only Elliot is dense enough to think this is what she meant.

Then there’s the whole third act where bloody violence cleanses and sanctifies the nuclear family, the compound staff bound by duty but constantly displaying moments of false agency, and, and — and I can’t. It’s too dumb, and the world is too beautiful to go on thinking about this stupid movie. Pass.

ON SCREEN: Death of a Unicorn opens in theaters March 28.

Be very quiet, Paul Rudd and Jenna Ortega are hunting unicorns. Credit: Balazs Goldi / A24.
satire

29

VISIBLE MENDING

6:30-8 p.m. Thursday, March 27, Left Hand Brewing Company, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont. $12.50

Get ready to bust a gut during this standup comedy showcase in the taproom at Longmont’s award-winning Left Hand Brewing. Hosted by Andrew Wegleitner of Codependent Comedy, the lineup for this crafty night of laughs includes headliner Eeland Stribling alongside Ali Kareem, Meghan DePonceau, Jublar McPherson and Evan Joe.

28

DATE NIGHT: STAINED GLASS AND CHILL

6-7:30 p.m. Friday, March 28, Colorado Glass Works, 1500 Pearl St., Boulder. $175 per couple

Looking to add a little color to your average date night? Head to Colorado Glass Works to make your own pre-chosen stained glass piece with a partner or a friend. All materials will be provided during this hands-on night of art making.

10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturday, March 29, pARTiculars Art Gallery and Teaching Studio, 401 S. Public Road, Lafayette. $75

Imperfection is the point during this hands-on workshop “celebrating the ornamentation and art of the repair process.” Bring an item to mend (or scraps to practice on) and your instructor will provide threads, needles, cloth scraps and wool bits while helping sharpen your embroidery and appliqué techniques. Basic hand-sewing skills required.

29

NEW MOON YIN YOGA + SOUND HEALING

7-8:15 p.m. Saturday, March 29, Yoga Pearl, 900 Pearl St., Unit 4, Boulder. $32

Slip into deep relaxation at Yoga Pearl with a yin yoga session and sound bath to honor this month’s new moon. Whether it’s your first time or your 50th, you won’t want to miss this enchanting evening of gongs, singing bowls and sacred instruments.

29

LONGMONT L!VE

8-9:15 p.m. Saturday, March 29, Longmont Public Media, 457 4th Ave. $25 advance / $30 at the door

Will this whacky improv comedy show leave you in stitches? Yes, and it’s filmed in front of a live studio audience, so the pressure is on. Featuring musical longform improv teams Too Intense and The RiP from Chaos Bloom, Longmont L!ve showcases some of the best improv talent in Colorado, so be sure to keep them on their toes with your wildest suggestions.

29 – 30

KANGAROO YOGA

10 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. Saturday March 29-Sunday March 30, Kangaroo Ranch Studio, 4910 Iris St., Wheat Ridge. $93

Enjoy a gentle flow with curious marsupials during this one-of-a-kind yoga experience blending “wellness, laughter and a little bit of Aussie magic.” After a 30-45 minute session, you’ll have time for a meet-and-feed photo op with these down-under critters guided by experienced roo-keepers from the USDAlicensed and certified Kangaroo Ranch. Assemble your Kang Gang and hop to it.

30

SUNDAY TEA DANCE PARTY

4-7 p.m. Sunday, March 30, Velvet Elk Lounge, 2037 13th St., Boulder. $12.50

Sunday scaries? Never heard of her. Join Boulder Q+ for this inclusive dance party to celebrate the local queer community before kicking off the work week. DJ Raela and Bounce will bring the beats while the skilled bartenders at Velvet Elk Lounge serve up delectable cocktails. The kitchen is open until 10 p.m., so stay after for dinner and camaraderie.

1

FILMMAKER TUESDAYS

7:30-8:30 p.m. Tuesday, April 1, 300 Suns, 335 1st Ave., Unit C, Longmont. Free

Aspiring to be the next Scorsese, Spike or Gerwig? Hit up this casual roundtable led by Allison Radomski for filmmakers and cinephiles of all ages, levels, interests and tastes. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or just getting the hang of things, this monthly meetup presented by Firehouse Art Center is your opportunity to get feedback on works in progress while building relationships with potential collaborators.

3

RAIN BARREL WORKSHOPS

5:30-7:30 p.m. Thursday, April 3, Lafayette Public Library, 775 W. Baseline Road. Free

Interested in installing a rain barrel at your home this spring to irrigate your trees or garden? Register for this free workshop at Lafayette Public Library to learn all about building, installation and maintenance. Participants will receive a free 55-gallon rain barrel and installation kit. Additional workshops happen through May at various locations throughout Boulder County. Register: bit.ly/ RainBarrelBW.

3

GEEKS WHO DRINK TRIVIA

6:30-8:30 Thursday, April 3, Wild Provisions Beer Project, 2209 Central Ave., Boulder. Free

Head to the taproom at Wild Provisions Beers Project in Boulder for a weekly trivia contest hosted by Geeks Who Drink. Nosh on fare from a local food truck and knock back a pint (or two) of award-winning craft beer during this twohour event including audio and video rounds.

3

THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES

7-9 p.m. Thursday, April 3, The Louisville Underground 640 Main St., Louisville. $45

Crafted from interviews with more than 200 women, this long-running stage show captures the full fidelity of their experiences — at turns hilarious, heartfelt and horrifying. Nine local actors will bring these stories to life in celebration of “the resilience, the humanity and the humor in living vaginaful lives.” Proceeds benefit Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence.

3

MUSE MAKERS: IKEBANA

10 a.m. to noon, Thursday, April 3, Museum of Boulder, 2205 Broadway. $10

Learn the ins and outs of ikebana, the Japanese art of flower arrangement, during this contemplative workshop with guest instructor Eileen Kay. Presented as part of the Museum of Boulder’s Muse Makers series, this class will teach you a little about the history of the artform along with basic patterns and techniques for working with branches, flowers, water and space.

LIVE MUSIC

THURSDAY, MARCH 27

SID WILLIAMSON 6 p.m. Bricks on Main, 471 Main St., Longmont. Free

LESLIE MENDELSON 7 p.m. eTown Hall, 1535 Spruce St., Boulder. $25

IZZY AND THE ICEBREAKERS. 7:30 p.m. Nissi’s, 1455 Coal Creek Drive, Unit T, Lafayette. Free

BILLY FAILING WITH MAGOO. 8 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $18

FRIDAY, MARCH 28

MOJOMAMA 5:30 p.m. Left Hand Brewing, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont. Free

JEREMY MOHNEY BAND. 6 p.m.

Trident Cafe, 940 Pearl St., Boulder. Free

TONY TRAHAN & THE BLUE KREWE

6 p.m. Bootstrap Brewing Company, 142 Pratt St., Longmont. Free

STAFFORD’S SAMBA-BOSSA BIRTHDAY BASH 7 p.m. Muse Performance Space, 200 E. South Boulder Road, Lafayette. $20

RUMOURS. 7 p.m. The Caribou Room, 55 Indian Peaks Drive, Nederland. $20

GILL LANDRY 7 p.m. Roots Music Project, 4747 Pearl St., Suite V3A, Boulder. $30

RODNEY RICE 8 p.m. Gold Hill General Store, 531 Main St., Boulder. $13

DEADPHISH ORCHESTRA. 8 p.m. Velvet Elk Lounge, 2037 13th St., Boulder. $21

ILLEGAL SMILE WITH JAMMY BUFFETT AND SOMETHING SLIGHT

8 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $20

SATURDAY, MARCH 29

HELEN PETERSON & FRIENDS. 5:30 p.m. Bricks on Main, 471 Main St., Longmont. Free

ZIZANIA SWING 6 p.m. Spirit Hound, 4196 Ute Highway, Lyons. Free

LAST AMERICAN TRIO. 6:30 p.m. 300 Suns Brewing, 335 1st Ave., Unit C, Longmont. Free

AL’S HWY50 7:30 p.m. Full Cycle Cafe and Bar, 2355 30th St., Boulder. $20

PAIZLEY PARK 8 p.m. Velvet Elk Lounge, 2037 13th St., Boulder. $20

MANY MOUNTAINS. 8 p.m. Longs Peak Pub, 600 Longs Peak Ave., Longmont. Free

STEELY DEAD WITH DAVE ABEAR 8 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $30

RARE AMERICANS WITH HOTEL MIRA AND SHAUNA DEAN COKELAND. 8 p.m. Gothic Theatre, 3263 S. Broadway, Englewood. $37

SUNDAY, MARCH 30

SCOTT VON. 4 p.m. Left Hand Brewing, 1265 Boston Ave., Longmont. Free

HOW ABOUT NO 6 p.m. Bricks on Main, 471 Main St., Longmont. Free

JOHNNY O BAND 7 p.m. Muse Performance Space, 200 E. South Boulder Road, Lafayette. $20

BOB LOG III WITH THE BLACK GLOVES AND THE OLDMEN. 7 p.m. Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway, Denver. $19

OLIVER HAZARD WITH NATHANIEL RILEY. 8 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $32

VINCENT NEIL EMERSON WITH LEON MAJCEN 8 p.m. Bluebird Theater, 3317 E. Colfax Ave., Denver. $39

MONDAY, APRIL 1

MUSE JAZZ JAM. 7 p.m. Muse Performance Space, 200 E. South Boulder Road, Lafayette. Free

LIVE MUSIC

ON THE BILL

New York City-based indie pop quartet Melt heads to Fox Theatre in Boulder with Nashville singer-songwriter Katie Lynne Sharbaugh on April 3. The band performs in support of their debut LP, If There’s a Heaven, a collection of shimmering soul, feel-good jams and openhearted ballads produced by Sam Evian of folk-rock royalty Big Thief. See listing for details.

VUNDABAR WITH YOT CLUB AND FAERYBABYY. 7 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $41

AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS WITH SHEER MAG. 7 p.m. Mission Ballroom, 4242 Wynkoop St., Denver. $49

TUESDAY, APRIL 2

CHUCK SITERO. 5:30 p.m. Spirit Hound, 4196 Ute Highway, Lyons. Free

VAHAGNI QUARTET WITH MANUEL

GUTIERREZ 6 p.m. Dairy Arts Center, 2590 Walnut St., Boulder. $30

DUCKS LTD. WITH THE BUG CLUB AND MAINLAND BREAK 7 p.m.

Hi-Dive, 7 S. Broadway, Denver. $23

FRANZ FERDINAND WITH TELESCREENS 8 p.m. Boulder Theater, 2032 14th St., Boulder. $40

REFUSED WITH QUICKSAND AND CLEANER. 8 p.m. Ogden Theatre, 935 E. Colfax Ave., Denver. $73

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 3

JAY STOTT. 6 p.m. Rosalee’s Pizzeria, 461 Main St., Longmont. Free

VIC DILLAHAY & FRIENDS 7 p.m. Dry Land Distillers, 519 Main St., Longmont. Free

MELT WITH KATIE LYNNE

SHARBAUGH 9 p.m. Fox Theatre, 1135 13th St., Boulder. $33 BW PICK OF THE WEEK

ings online by scanning this QR code.

ASTROLOGY

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): Ancient Rome’s emperor Julius Caesar undertook a radical move to fix the calendar, which had become increasingly inaccurate as the centuries passed. He added three months to the year 46 BCE, which as a result was 445 days long. I’m thinking that 2025 might seem equally long for you, Aries. Your destiny may feel like it’s taking forever to unfold. APRIL FOOL! I totally lied. In fact, I think 2025 will be one of your most brike, crispest years ever. Your adventures will be spiced with alacrity. Your efforts will be efficient and expeditious. You may sometimes be amazed at how swiftly progress unfolds.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): Guilt and fear are always useless distractions from what’s really happening. Right? APRIL FOOL! The fact is that on rare occasions, being anxious can motivate you to escape from situations that your logical mind says are tolerable. And guilt may compel you to take the right action when nothing else will. This is one time when your guilt and fear can be valuable assets.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): The German word Flüsterwitze means “whisper jokes.” These jests make taboo references and need to be delivered with utmost discretion. They may include the mockery of authority figures. Dear Gemini, I recommend that you suppress your wicked satire and uproarious sarcasm for a while and stick to whisper jokes. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is that the world needs your outspokenness. Your ability to call out hypocrisies and expose corruption — especially with humor and wit — will keep everyone as honest as they need to be.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): In the leadup to the Paris-hosted 2024 Summer Olympics, the iconic Eiffel Tower was repainted gold. This was a departure from tradition, as the usual colors had been brown on the bottom and red on the top. The $60 million job took 25 painters 18 months. I recommend that you undertake an equally monumental task in the coming months, Cancerian. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I do hope you undertake a monumental task — but one that’s more substantive than changing the surfaces of things. Like revisioning your life story, for example: reinterpreting your past and changing the way it informs your future. I think you are ready to purge inessential elements and exorcize old ghosts as you prepare for a relaunch around your birthday.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): When I worked on the Duke University grounds crew years ago, I did the work I was assigned as quickly as possible. Then I would hide in the bushes, taking unauthorized breaks for an hour or two, so I could read books I loved. Was that unethical? Maybe. But the fact is, I would never have been able to complete my assigned tasks unless I allowed myself relaxation retreats. If there is an equivalent situation in your life, Leo, I urge you to do as I did. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. The truth is that I think you should be a little less extravagant than I was — but only a little — as you create the spaciousness and slack you need.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): In his film Fitzcarraldo, Virgo director Werner Herzog tells an epic story. It includes the task of hauling a 320-ton steamship up a hill and over land, moving it from one river to another. Herzog could have relied on special effects to simulate this almost impossible project, but he didn’t. With a system of pulleys and a potent labor force, he made it happen. I urge you to try your equivalent of Herzog’s heroic conquest, Virgo. You will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. While it’s true that you will be able to summon more power and help than you can imagine, I still think you should at least partially rely on the equivalent of special effects.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Researchers discovered that Egyptian fruit bats engage in extensive communication with each other while nesting in their roosts. Surprisingly, they talk about their problems a lot. In fact, they quarrel 60% of the time. Areas of disagreement include food allocation, positions within the sleep cluster and males initiating unwanted mating moves. Let’s make these bats your power creatures. The astrological omens say it’s time for you to argue more than you have ever argued. APRIL FOOL! I was not entirely truthful. The coming weeks will be a good time to address disagreements and settle disputes, but hopefully through graceful means, not bitter arguing.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Unlike many modern poets, Scorpio-born Alice Notley rejects the notion that she must be part of any poetic lineage. She aspires “to establish or continue no tradition except one that literally can’t exist — the celebration of the singular thought sung at a particular instant in a unique voice.” She has also written, “It’s necessary to maintain a state of disobedience against everything.” She describes her work as “an immense act of rebellion against dominant social forces.” I invite you to enjoy your own version of a Notley-like phase, Scorpio. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, I encourage you to enjoy a Notley-like phase beginning May 1. But for now, I invite you to be extra attentive in cultivating all the ways you can benefit from honoring your similarities and connections with others.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): The Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) is a standardized test that many American high school students take to prove their worth to colleges. The highest possible score is achieved by fewer than 1% of test-takers. We might imagine that earning such a premium grade must guarantee admission to any school, but it doesn’t. During one five-year period, for example, Stanford University rejected 69% of applicants with the highest possible score. I’m sorry to predict that a comparable experience might be ahead for you, Sagittarius. Even if you are your best and brightest self, you may be denied your rightful reward. APRIL FOOL! I totally lied. Here’s my real, true prediction: In the coming weeks, I believe you will be your best and brightest self — and will win your rightful reward.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): The visible part of an iceberg is typically just 10% of its total size. Most is hidden beneath the sea’s surface. References to “the tip of the iceberg” have become a staple metaphor in many cultures, signifying situations that are not what they seem. Of all the zodiac tribes, Scorpios are renowned for their expertise in discerning concealed agendas and missing information. The rest of us tend to be far less skillful. APRIL FOOL! I fibbed. These days, you Capricorns are even more talented than Scorpios at looking beyond the obvious and becoming aware of the concealed roots and full context.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): In the coming weeks, I advise you to be like the 19th-century poet Emily Dickinson. She lived in quiet seclusion, corresponding through letters instead of socializing. She seemed content to write her poems all alone in her home and be unconcerned about trying to get them published. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s my real horoscope: Now is a highly favorable time for you to schmooze with intensity at a wide range of social occasions, both to get all the educational prods you need and to advance your ambitions.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Some systems and situations improve and thrive in response to stress and errors. Indeed, some things need strain or irregularity to be fully healthy. For example, human bodies require a certain amount of stress to develop a resistance to infection. In reading the astrological omens, I conclude you now need stimulation like that. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here’s the truth: August of 2025 will be a great time for you to harvest the benefits of benevolent stress. But for now, your forte will be the capacity to avoid and resist stress, confusion and errors.

SAVAGE LOVE

I’m a single gay man who hasn’t touched anybody for 16 years. I did something stupid in 1998 and had sex in a hot tub. I ended up having surgery because of an infection. Ever since, when I ejaculate, what comes out is a combination of sperm and urine because an internal flap no longer closes to stop the urine. The urologist and my surgeon said there was nothing they could do to fix the problem.

Men find this absolutely disgusting. What advice or suggestions do you have to explain this to potential partners, even though I’ve said I want to please them only.

— Canadian Urgently Missing Sex

Having penetrative sex in a hot tub is riskier than having sex on dry land or a damp mattress or a hard countertop. Heavily chlorinated water dries out sensitive tissues, making abrasions and STI transmission more likely, and water containing potentially harmful bacteria can be forced into the urethra during intercourse, heightening the risk of urinary tract infections in both men and women.

With that warning out of the way, CUMS, can I ask when you last spoke to a doctor about your condition? While artificial urinary sphincters have been available for more than 50 years, the doctors you saw back in 1998 might not have been aware of them. These devices have gotten smaller (and the surgery has gotten less invasive) over the last three decades.

You also might wanna seek out different kinds of gay and bi men. There are lots of queer men out there into “no recip” oral. There are also plenty of guys out there who are into piss, and if I were to biohazard a guess, CUMS, I’d say a statistically significant percentage of those guys would view your condition not as a tragic defect, but as an exciting superpower.

A friend of ours (my husband’s and mine) recently started dating a woman. Our friend met his new girlfriend’s kid very early in the relationship, even spending the night after only knowing this woman for a couple of months. Within six months of dating, they shared the kid’s toothbrush on a vacation. They didn’t say they boiled the toothbrush or took any measures to clean the toothbrush until weeks later when they were pressed on it. This is when we started to distance ourselves, because we felt this behavior showed a lack of respect for this child. We had a severe falling out. Now they are engaged, and it raises even more concerns for us. How do we proceed?

— Unhygienic Gross Humans

While I got letters about grosser things this week, yours was the most surprising letter that came in the mail for two reasons: First, that your friend would tell you about using this child’s toothbrush on vacation and, second, that you would write to me — a sexadvice columnist — about your friend using this child’s toothbrush.

For the record, UGH, I agree that introducing a child to a new partner after two months is inadvisable and using someone else’s toothbrush on vacation because you forgot your own is equal parts gross and unnecessary.

To be perfectly honest, UGH, I don’t really care whether you reconcile with your friend or not, just please spare me from any and all updates about your friend’s oral hygiene going forward.

Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan. Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love

A ta ste of Japan in the heart of Colorado

Whe re ce nturie s of culinary exce lle nce ge t a f re s h touch. S us hi, mode rn Japane s e, and hand-craf te d cock tails

PORTRAITS IN GREAT TASTE

Meet the Boulder County women changing the way we dine, drink, shop and cook

Last year, 47% of all U.S. restaurants were owned by women, according to data compiled by Boulder’s August Escoffier School of Culinary Arts, based on 2024 industry demographics. In celebration of Women’s History Month, we’re spotlighting the women who power Boulder County’s internationally known natural foods, beverage, agriculture and restaurant businesses and organizations.

Kelly Kawachi, Isha Rae, Claudia Bouvier, Mara King, Phillippa Clark and Anne Zoe each took diverse paths and overcame barriers throughout their food careers. They’ve learned a thing or two along the way and also offer some advice to young women seeking leadership and ownership roles in the food world.

(Many more local women tastemakers are listed online: bit.ly/ WomenOfBoCoFood.)

KELLY KAWACHI: THE EDUCATION OF A SUPERSTAR BUTCHER

Kelly Kawachi smiles when asked about the ceilings she has bumped into during her career.

“When I started getting interviewed, the first question was always: ‘Oh, you’re Asian and you’re a woman from Hawaii,’ expecting to hear about terrible things,” she says. “Personally, I really haven’t run into any of those barriers. They were thrown off because I didn’t go through any drama.”

Kawachi graduated from the culinary program at Colorado Mesa University in Grand

Junction and worked as a sous chef at a Honolulu restaurant. In the past decade, she has risen from butcher to director of meats/ executive butcher at Michelinhonored Blackbelly.

Kawachi is squeamish about being labelled an “expert.”

“Because I received the Michelin Young Professional Award, people assume I know everything about everything,” she says. “I’m still learning every day.” According to Kawachi, 36, there are plenty of women butchers, but most of us never notice them.

“They don’t associate women with butchery, but even at Costco there are a lot of women in the back working as meat cutters,” she says. “There always have been.”

ISHA RAE: OVERCOMING BARRIERS WITH SOUL FOOD

Cooking was always part of Isha Rae’s life growing up in Ohio.

“The first thing I remember cooking was my mom’s mac and cheese,” Rae says. “My mom is my mentor, and she’s the one I have learned most of my cooking from. Later, my daughter’s grandmother taught me to cook Puerto Rican food.”

Her mom is now retired, but Rae is determined to keep serving.

“One Thursday a month, I serve food at the Avalon Ballroom for salsa dancing night,” she says. “I sell out every time I’m there. I take the catering jobs that are meaningful, where I’m actually contributing to our community.

“I do want my food to be here, so that anybody can access it in Boulder.”

CLAUDIA BOUVIER: ENGINEERING PERFECT PASTA

Rae spent the first part of her career in management and customer service. She teamed up with her mother, Char Kay Desbin, to open Rae’s Catering and Puerto Rican Food in 2020 in Boulder just as the pandemic was beginning.

“I wanted to create this business for our family to do together as a second income,” she says.

The company has catered birthday parties, festivals, events at CU, a wedding in Estes Park and many corporate meetings. They serve soul food — fried and BBQ chicken with collard greens — and authentic dishes from Puerto Rico including pastelitos, fried savory hand pies.

Claudia Bouvier’s career path would have been a huge surprise to her when she was growing up in an Italian family in São Paulo, Brazil.

“From a very early age, food was an essential part of life,” she says. “But we were incentivized to do something else with our lives.”

For Bouvier, that “something else” was engineering, which she studied and practiced for two decades. Looking for a change in focus, she returned to her first love and co-founded Pastificio.

From selling fresh pasta at a Boulder Farmers Market stand in 2018, Pastificio has grown into an award-winning national pasta brand focused on sustainability, winning Good Food Awards —– the

Kelly Kawachi. Credit: Tyler Hickman
Claudia Bouvier. Credit: Tyler Hickman
Isha Rae. Credit: Tyler Hickman

Oscars of American packaged food —every year since 2021.

The pasta is made from heirloom wheats grown regionally. The packaging is 100% recyclable or compostable.

“Pasta to me is a vehicle to teach about sustainability, knowing your farmer and real organic food,” Bouvier says.

MARA KING:

FOOD PATH FROM HONG KONG TO BOULDER

Although she has lived in Boulder for 30 years, Mara King’s memory is still happily haunted by one aroma from her childhood in Hong Kong.

“There was a vendor outside my elementary school who sold barbecued squid on a stick as a snack,” King recalls. “They were deeply yummy. You could smell them from a mile away.”

As an adult, King worked at a series of Boulder eateries, including Hunan Gardens and Ristorante Laudisio, and became one of the women sushi chefs working at Sushi Zanmai. In 2008, she founded Ozuke, a pickled and fermented food brand, with a friend — the beginning of what she calls her “fermentation path.”

That path led to her current role at Boulder’s Id Est Hospitality Group, one with an unusual job title: director of fermentation.

“I worked to put a fermentation program in place at the restaurants, developing recipes, training chefs and making kimchi, hot sauces, soy sauce, kvass and kombucha,” she says.

Last year, King transformed 900 pounds of leftover bread into a fermented sauce.

ID Est restaurants — BASTA and Dry Storage in Boulder and The Wolf’s Tailor and Hey Kiddo in Denver — have received multiple James Beard and Michelin honors. King developed Dry Storage’s milling project, sourcing heirloom and ancient grains. Her responsibilities in recent years have expanded to emphasizing sustainability and a zero waste approach.

According to King, the best way for women to reach their goals is to not think like a man.

“Listen to your intuition when people try to push you,” she says. “The most valu-

able thing is taking time to decide how big you want to be, and then build a strong plan around that.”

“Maybe male food entrepreneurs would benefit from being humble and understanding a situation before they act.”

PHILLIPPA CLARK: SUSTAINING AN HEIRLOOM LEGACY

“As a woman, I really didn’t face a lot of roadblocks early in my career,” says Phillippa Clark, who grew up in London surrounded by great food. “My mom was a baker and a great cook, we had greengrocers in the family, and my father was a butcher.”

A “cringey” first job serving American burgers in the University of Leicester cafeteria eventually led to years working at Fresh & Wild, a famous specialty grocer in England.

“Anna Ghee [at Fresh & Wild] was very inspirational. She brought people together who had the same work ethic,” Clark says. “We loved that we were doing some good in the world.”

After working at Boulder’s iconic Alfalfa’s Market, she helped her husband, James Beard-nominated baker Andy Clark, launch Moxie Bread Co. in Louisville.

Moxie has become nationally known for sourdough loaves and pastries crafted using house-milled flour from local heirloom grains. Additional Moxie locations have opened in North Boulder and Lyons.

The Boulder County community was shocked when Andy Clark unexpectedly died in 2022, leaving behind Phillippa and their two young sons.

“It was a terrible time in our lives, but I wanted Andy’s work to go on,” Clark says. She stepped forward into the challenges as owner of the now 10-year-old Moxie Bread Co., intent on building her husband’s inspiration by supporting local sustainable farmers.

Clark says her advice to women entrepreneurs in any field is direct.

“Don’t be oversensitive. Don’t be precious. Get in there and keep learning how to do everything,” she says. “Always upgrade your skills. Always lead with kindness.”

ANNE ZOE: BOULDER’S ACCIDENTAL FOOD STAR

Anne Zoe is one of Boulder’s most beloved culinary icons as chef and coowner at Zoe Ma Ma, the Michelinrecommended restaurant she opened in 2010 with her son, Edwin Zoe. She charmed a national audience and host Guy Fieri when he brought his Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives program to Boulder.

“Ma Ma says she didn’t know how to cook when she married my father at 19,” Edwin says. “One of the first meals she made was just awful. But, being positive and encouraging, my father told her it was delicious. Encouraged, Ma Ma cooked the same meal for a whole week before she learned to make something else.”

Now 81, Anne Zoe has slowed considerably since the days when she would make hundreds of dumplings by hand every day. But she still visits each morning to check on the food and staff, and have tea with her son.

“When she was young, Ma Ma enjoyed cooking because it nourished her family. Now, she enjoys seeing customers enjoying her food. It gives her a sense of purpose.”

Anne Zoe’s work advice is short and to the point, according to Edwin: “Always put love into your work.”

John Lehndorff learned how to cook from his mother, Rose Mazzola Lehndorff, and the Zen of entertaining from his sister, Barbara Lehndorff King. Comments: nibbles@boulderweekly.com.

Mara King. Courtesy: The Culinary Institute of America
Phillippa Clark. Credit: Tyler Hickman
Chef Anne Zoe of Zoe Ma Ma in Boulder. Courtesy: Edwin Zoe

ON DRUGS

REGULATION ROUNDUP

(MOSTLY) FOLLOWING THE STATE’S LEAD

Boulder

and manufacturing) as industrial. All are subject to the state’s 1,000-foot restriction when locating near schools or child care.

The city also added operating hours into its early December ordinance: 6 a.m. to midnight.

healing centers

How BoCo’s cities and towns are handling psychedelic

Colorado is busy handing out licenses for psychedelicassisted therapists, the healing centers where they’ll work and the programs that will teach them how to guide clients through a psilocybin session. From just a handful of licenses in December, as of mid-March there were more than five dozen licensed facilitators, centers and training regimes, as well as facilities to grow, sell and test psychedelic mushrooms for providers.

While the state ramps up its approval process, counties and towns throughout Colorado have been busy preparing for natural medicine businesses. Under state law, local municipalities can control the zoning regulations that determine where facilities locate and when they operate.

Here’s a look at how local governments are handling natural medicine businesses so far, compiled by Boulder Weekly with help from Sean McCallister, a lawyer specializing in psychedelic regulations.

On Jan. 9, Boulder passed Ordinance 8665, treating healing centers like any other medical offices when it comes to land use and zoning. Cultivation, product manufacturing and testing facilities will be zoned as light manufacturing.

All natural medicine facilities must be at least 1,000 feet from any elementary schools, preschools and child care facilities, consistent with state law, and 500 feet from any junior, middle and high schools — a slight variance allowed under Colorado regulations.

The ordinance did not address operating hours.

“City council specifically did not want to restrict the hours of operation of natural medicine businesses,” senior policy advisor Karl Guiler wrote in response to emailed questions, “so no limitation on hours was put into the code.”

Erie

Erie passed its regulations in mid-November 2024. They copied exactly the state’s 1,000foot buffer from schools and child care facilities and added a buffer for residential properties. Any natural medicine business must be at least 250 feet from a home.

The town’s regulations also set operating hours for healing centers (8 a.m. to 8 p.m.) and all other natural medicine businesses (8 a.m. to 5 p.m.).

Louisville

Healing centers in Louisville will be zoned similar to medical offices and all other natural medicine businesses (grows, testing labs

Lafayette

Lafayette allows healing centers in commercial, business and industrial districts, and other licensed facilities in industrial zones. They will follow the state’s setback rules. Hours of operation for healing centers, as defined in city code, are 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. “unless the participant is unable to leave the premises by 10 p.m. due to an ‘adverse health event’ as defined” under state law.

Colorado’s natural medicine rules define an adverse health event as “any untoward and unexpected health condition or medical occurrence associated with the use of natural medicine or natural medicine product.”

STILL IN THE WORKS

Longmont

“This issue is still very fluid,” Longmont spokesperson Rogelio Mares III wrote in response to an emailed request for comment. “I do believe they are still sorting out what regulations will be put in place.”

Late last year, planning manager Don Burchett told McCallister the city would likely treat healing centers like other medical offices.

Boulder County

Per spokesperson Richard Hackett, “staff is in the process of reviewing our current land use regulations to determine whether amendments will be necessary to regulate this use in unincorporated Boulder County.”

Superior

When reached by phone, planning & building director Lisa Ritchie said Superior hadn’t taken up these regulations yet. Municipalities have until 2025 to finalize rules.

If there are no local zoning rules in place, state regulators will issue a license after confirming that all Colorado and local requirements have been met

TAKING A TIME OUT

Nederland

In January, the Board of Trustees voted 6-1 to put a moratorium on licensing any natural medicine businesses until the town could complete its comprehensive plan. An updated comprehensive plan was approved March 4.

Town staff told trustees new rules could be in place by the summer. The moratorium lasts through Dec. 31, unless the board votes to end it early.

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