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‘Furious 7’ is gloriously unnecessary by Ryan Syrek
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ands down, my favorite Now, for some reason, despite the discussion in the wake of fact that literally everywhere the gang Furious 7 doing to the box goes they run into Shaw, they must go office what Vin Diesel on a bizarre side quest to steal some does to elocution (which MacGuffin computer device that is to say, stomping it to oblivion): “Do would let them find Shaw. You’re not we really need another Fast and reading that wrong. There are multiple Furious movie?” No. No, we do not. scenes where they are fighting against We also didn’t need to land on the the bad guy while attempting to steal a moon. Nor did we device that will let need to create the them find the bad 1967 Ford guy they are curMustang. We did rently fighting. It’s it because it was some batshit M.C. awesome, and we Escher, paradoxicould, dammit. cal logic. Hail Fast and Who cares! Furious, a franThe gang soon chise that has finds themselves somehow become skydiving inside of a champion of cars, battling transnational, against drones multicultural bad (thanks, Obama!) assery. Its diverse and destroying a cast has now very large portion spent two full of a major city. If movies kicking you remember last the shit out of time out, there British people, as was a scene in if stomping on which Toretto Jason Statham’s appeared to gain Furious 7 is the seventh installment in the face was a comethe power of gloriously unnecessary Fast and the Furiuppance for colo- ous franchise. flight. This time, nialism. Whereas the concussive the blockbusters power of him of the 2000s mostly whined and stomping flattens an entire parking moped about governmental indecency garage. He hath become Zeus! Thor! and global terrorism nightmares, the Superman! The destroyer of worlds! Fast and Furious series has become The first half of Furious 7 is a bit impossibly optimistic, championing plodding. There’s too much clever postmodern concepts of family and business trying to tie up the continuspinning a simplistic tale of American ity of the franchise, as if any of us redemption. Oh, and each installment are breaking out flow charts to map is progressively more beautifully and the chronology. But the second half gloriously dumb. is as good as it gets for pure, unadulThe “plot” this time out, as if we terated, guilt-free escapism. Movies need bother with such crap when used to do that. Before films were there are cars to drive fast and people “events” burdened with glorious purto punch, sees Deckard Shaw ( Jason pose, they were frivolous and gossaStatham) looking to murder Dominic mer adventures designed to free one Toretto (Diesel) and his crew, includfrom the unspectacular confines of ing Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Brian reality. We don’t need more Fast and (Paul Walker), Roman (Tyrese Furious movies. But my goodness, do Gibson), Tej (Ludacris) and Hobbs I hope they keep making them. (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson). He’s out for revenge because the gang curb This review first appeared in The stomped his brother last time. That’s Reader of Omaha, Neb. it. That’s the whole point. Boulder Weekly