Memento Mori — January 2023

MEMENTO MORI T H E O F F I C I A L P U B L I C AT I O N O F T H E I C C F A

JANUARY 2023

PREPARING

FOR THE

FIRST

CALL Counseling Your Families for Long-Term Growth

INSIDE: Neglecting Your Cemetery Avoiding Negligence Complaints Restoring Your Bronze Markers Selling Your Business in 2023 A Look Back at 2022 in Print

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CONTENTS VOLUME 83 | NUMBER 1

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16 22 22

JANUARY 2023

When That Call Comes in, Will You Be Ready?

Preparing Your Cemetery to Serve the Needs of Families

by David Line

Oh, the Horror!

Neglecting Your Cemetery Grounds Could Ruin Your Reputation

by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS

26

Grave Mistakes Avoiding Negligence Complaints with Due Diligence

30

It’s Not All Mother Nature’s Fault Restoring the Beauty of Your Cemetery Markers

by Susan Cushing

by Barry Feinman

34

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall …

Is Your Business the Fairest of Them All?

36

Prose for the Quietus of Life Wonderful Mother

by Rolf Gutknecht

by Patrick O’Reilly

26 30

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MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

34

36

www.iccfa.com

What is Fundafamily.com?

Fundafamily.com is a financial assistance service.

What this means is that a funeral home sets up the decedent’s entry on Fundafamily.com and the community is thereby able to donate to the funeral home in order to help cover the cost of the funeral.

Why do we offer this service?

Because we are tragically aware of the heartbreak and financial burden faced when losing a loved one. Because we are in a unique position to help. Because we are all just people.

No Fees 100% of the donations go to the funeral home.

Because profit is not what this is about.

Learn more at

or contact us at 800-240-1016

MEMENTO MORI VOL. 83 | N0. 1

JANUARY 2023

ICCFA Officers PRESIDENT

Gary M. Freytag, CCFE PRESIDENT-ELECT

Robbie L. Pape VICE PRESIDENT, EDUCATION

John Bolton, CCE, CCrE, CSE, CXE VICE PRESIDENT, MEMBERSHIP & MARKETING

Shawna de la Cruz

DEPARTMENTS EDITOR’S MUSE ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 6

Did We Bounce Back in 2022?

by Tatia Gordon-Troy, Esq.

SUCCESSION PLANNING ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 10

A 2023 Industry Outlook

by Kent Robertson

TRIBUTES & MEMORIALIZATION ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������12

VICE PRESIDENT, INTERNAL AFFAIRS

My Children’s First Experience with Loss

by Dina Cirigliano (submitted by Joseph P. Di Troia)

VICE PRESIDENT, EXTERNAL AFFAIRS

DEATHCARE TECHNOLOGY �����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������14

Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE Lee Longino TREASURER

Christopher Keller SECRETARY

Stacy Adams EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Nadira Baddeliyanage GENERAL COUNSEL

Poul Lemasters, Esq. poul@iccfa.com

Magazine Staff EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

How Funeral Homes Can Use Technology to Help Themselves & Their Families

by Jennifer Mehlman

DID YOU KNOW �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 38

Celebrities Who Died in January

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 40

Planning for Your Future Starts Today

by Chris Cruger

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 42

How to Make a Great First Impression on Your Funeral Home Guests

by Thomas J. McElheny

PLPA UPDATE ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������44

Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq.

Serving Pets Is Serving People

by Lauren Blevins, CCFE, CPLP

SUPPLIER RELATIONS MANAGER

MEMBER NEWS ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 46

tatia@iccfa.com | 571.323.2983, ext. 1222

Rick Platter

rplatter@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1213 COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER

Katherine Devins

kd@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1218 MARKETING & COMMUNICATIONS COORDINATOR

Maddy Collins

maddy@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215 EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND PUBLISHER

Nadira Baddeliyanage

nadira@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215 DESIGN & PRODUCTION

BonoTom Studio, Inc.

info@bonotom.com | bonotom.com | 703-276-0612 Memento Mori (ISSN 1936-2099) is published by the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association®, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468; 703.391.8400; FAX 703.391.8416; www. iccfa.com. Published 10 times per year, with combined issues in March-April and August-September. Periodicals postage paid at Baltimore, MD, and other offices.

Copyright 2021 by the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association. Subscription rates: In the United States, $39.95; in Canada, $45.95; overseas: $75.95. One subscription is included in annual membership dues.

POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Memento Mori, 107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468.

Individual written contributions, commentary and advertisements appearing in Memento Mori do not necessarily reflect either the opinion or the endorsement of the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

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DEPARTMENTS

MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

Lynnwood Unveils Memorial Dedicated to Gold Star Families ���������������������������������� 46

Reflections by Duey Formally Launched �������������������������������������������������������������������������� 47 NGL Commits $100,000 to Establish Scholarships �������������������������������������������������������� 48

ICCFA NEWS �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 56

ICCFA On The Move ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ 56 Save On Music & Webcasting Licensing Before Feb. 1 �������������������������������������������������� 57 Membership Benefit: Identity Protection by Norton ������������������������������������������������������ 58 Welcome New ICCFA Members ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 58 Knock Out Your New Year’s Resolutions by Attending DEAD Talks 2023! ���������������� 59 AD INDEX ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������60 EVENTS CALENDAR ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������60

If we must die, we die defending our rights.

Sitting Bull

www.iccfa.com

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EDITOR’S MUSE

Did We Bounce Back in 2022?

by Tatia Gordon-Troy, Esq.

O

N THE SURFACE, IT SEEMS LIKE 2022 WAS A GAME-CHANGER for the deathcare profession and for ICCFA, in particular, as the organization happily returned to host a series of in-person events.

But if it doesn’t quite feel like things are returning to normal, you’re probably right.

There really is no “normal” anymore. People continue to succumb to a rapidly evolving COVID-19 virus while other viruses and diseases attempt to make their way into the human ecosystem. If that’s not enough, thousands still die from influenza each year. But along the way, some odd ones snuck in, ones we really could’ve done without—RSV, for instance, and what the heck is Monkey Pox anyway? Can we survive any more outbreaks?

But the deathcare industry is filled with people who are resilient. Our content expresses that resilience as well as our members’ desire to share their experiences and knowledge with each other and help lift up the industry as a whole.

In 2022, Memento Mori flourished throughout the year with meaningful and interesting content submitted by ICCFA members from around the world. For 2023, something new is cooking for Memento Mori and we are excited. More on that to come.

Right now, let’s bring your attention to some of our favorite 2022 articles that are not only enjoyable to read but are at times

January

thought-provoking and tear-jerking.

and call your business whatever you want off the record. Take a look at “Watch Your Language: Deathcare’s Confusing Technology” for a reminder to resort to industry standards when required to.

January 2022: “Tweeting for Business”

February 2022: “Stop Cemetery Vandalism”

We started the year with a marketing technique that many in the funeral business don’t always consider using: Twitter. RingRing Marketing’s Welton Hong wrote a great piece with numerous tips on how to make Twitter work for your business. Granted, this was several months before Elon Musk took over. Advertisers have been running for the hills ever since. But if you’re game for trying something different, check out “Learning the Ins and Outs of Tweeting.”

The language we use when speaking to families who visit our facilities matters more than we think. That is evident in an article written by Foresight Companies’ Curtis Rostad. Using flowery language or “dumbed down” terms to describe what you do is ok when speaking to lay people; not so much when the situation calls for a more formal take. If the Funeral Rule refers to your business as a funeral home, then you’re not a chapel or a mortuary or a funeral service. Stick to the basics when you need to,

There are three main types of security threats you need to consider: threats to your data, human threats, and cyber threats.

Scott McAfee of CemSites shared his thoughts on business owners staying on top of these threats, which are prolific. Gone are the days when a security guard walking the property can stave off most of the threats to your property. Many threats are sight unseen until they’re not. Digital threats are the most prolific today and all businesses need to avoid them like the plague. You’ll find lots of advice and tips in “Floods, Theft, Vandalism, Oh My! A Holistic Approach to Your Cemetery’s Security.”

In addition, we had fun with another article submitted by Alice Adams and Jim Kurtz that took us on a trip down memory lane; well, some of us anyway. I was barely a twinkle in my mother’s eye when this movie released. The 1963 cult classic, The Loved One, shone a light on the funeral profession in a satirical way, “more fiction than exposé” as described by the authors. For some groovy reading, check out “Make Love Not War.”

March/April 2022: “When Six Feet Isn’t Enough” In our March/April issue, we traveled all the way to Jerusalem (figuratively not literally) to introduce our readers to the next wonder of the world. “Fifty Meters Below the Surface: Jerusalem Digs Deep to Continue Honoring Its Dead” taught us that when cemeteries run out of space, you may need to dig a little deeper to find a solution. Adi Alphandary led us through his company’s spectacular underground facility that plans to provide up to 24,000 new burial spaces.

The pictures are phenomenal. I think you’ll agree when you read it.

If you’re a nature lover, you’ll love the article about Mount Auburn’s residents.

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MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

www.iccfa.com

February “Horticulture Highlights” focused on the flora and fauna living throughout the grounds of this pristine cemetery located in Cambridge, MA.

May 2022: “The Celebrant’s Toolbox”

2021 KIP Award Winner Amanda King of Bailey Funeral Homes in Connecticut showed us why her entry was worthy of the grand prize. She wrote a beautiful story about newborn twins, one born healthy and the other living only a couple of months in the hospital. This story was a tear-jerker for sure, but Amanda led us through the family’s experience in a way that allowed us to be a part of it. Find your May issue and read from beginning to end, “No Longer ‘Baby Girl B’: A Green Burial for Hannah.”

Also, in May, we ran an article from Kilean Rempen of Passages International, which pretty much said that if you haven’t jumped on the cremation train yet, you’re way behind the 8-ball. Kilean offers ways to step up and ramp up your options for cremation families for funeral homes and cemeteries. It’s all about sustainability.

Check out “Green, Greener, Greenest?

Follow the Data to More Sustainable, Eco-Friendly Funeral Options.”

March/April

June 2022: “Going Viral”

We had fun presenting Nicole Vullo’s article on marketing, aptly titled “Have F.U.N. with Your Marketing: Get Cohesive, Get Practical, Get Going!” But Nicole meant F.U.N. as in functional, unique, and neat. When in business, one can never read enough about marketing, so have at it.

The article that resonated the most with our members is “Do You Possess the Drive? Five Ways to Weed Out Low-­ performing Salespeople,” by Dr. Christopher Croner. It takes an in-depth look at the skillset needed to be an exceptional salesperson in the deathcare industry. It recommends being more selective in the hiring process in order to get the right people for the job. Grab your coffee and a comfy seat and settle in for a learning experience.

May

July 2022: “Should You Be the Amazon of Deathcare?”

July’s cover story written by Gabriel Ngo of Foresight Companies doesn’t necessarily want you to turn your business into an JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI

7

EDITOR’S MUSE

June

July

August/September

Amazon clone for the deathcare industry; but it certainly makes the argument that e-commerce is a necessary evil in today’s online environment. If your website isn’t up to date with the latest technology that allows your families to complete transactions online, then let’s get real. Read “Should You Be the Amazon of Deathcare? E-commerce Is What Families Are Expecting.”

Everyone loves the circus! We published an article about a little known cemetery section dedicated to circus performers: “The Big Top Six Feet Under: A Resting Place for Circus Stars” by Jonathan Shipley. If you’re ever in Mead, OK, plan a drive through Mount Olivet Cemetery to visit the clowns. And, of course, read the article!

Aug./Sept. 2022: “When Families Don’t See Eye to Eye” It’s always a challenge when families can’t agree on how to handle the disposition of a family member. It certainly requires the right personality to play counselor, umpire, and coach when needed. That’s what Marc Markell, PhD of St. Cloud State University/ Worsham College of Mortuary Science tackles in his article, “That’s Not What Dad Would Want! Dealing with Challenging Family Dynamics.” If you haven’t been faced with dueling family dynamics in your business yet, read this article to get prepared for the day.

In addition, this issue contains ICCFA’s convention wrap-up offering 12 articles from convention panelists for your edification—if you couldn’t attend, here ya’ go.

If you attended, then this serves as a great reminder of the takeaways you enjoyed from 2022’s in-person meeting.

October 2022: “Still Living in the Stone Age?” In October, we spent some quality time with the memory keepers, the ones in charge of maintaining the history of the profession. Under the watchful eye of President Genevieve Keeney, the National Museum of Funeral History holds the treasures for safekeeping as you’ll see in “Keeping the History of Deathcare Alive: How a National Museum Preserves the Funeral Profession.”

Need an employment basics refresher course? Check out “Hiring or Firing?

Know the Basics of At-Will Employment”

by Curtis Rostad, CFSP, for tips on how to stay out of litigation’s way when hiring and firing employees.

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MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

www.iccfa.com

November 2022: “Water vs. Fire” The cover story for this issue is a must-read written by Amanda King, who was also the overall winner of the 2021 KIP Awards.

Amanda presents the story of a mother who must say goodbye to her dying 2-year-old and desires to have a water cremation. The lengths that Amanda goes through to make this happen for the mother are truly inspiring. Take a few minutes to digest this story titled “The Smallest Stone: The Ripple Effect of Aquamation and Its Increasing Popularity.”

Mount Auburn celebrates its artists in residence, and this month, the cemetery focused on John Woolf’s work with some of the intricate stone markers and statues in the cemetery. “The ‘Art’ of the Grave: Mount Auburn Celebrates the Work of John D. Woolf” by Melissa Banta provides some remarkable images that truly speak for themselves.

October

November

December 2022: “Honoring the Pets We’ve Loved and Lost” This issue, I had the pleasure of showcasing stories from some of our pet families—members and ICCFA staff. Staff members Rick Platter and Cindy Hinton submitted beautiful stories about family dogs while members MaryGlenn Warnock and Tanya Scotece provided moving stories about memorializing their pets. Freelance writer Susan Cushing wrote an emotional tribute to her little dog of 15 years. Pets are like family to many people; dive in to these personal accounts and they will touch your heart.

“From ‘Wags to Riches’: To Avoid Some ‘Ruff’ Times, Follow the 4 Ps of Pet Loss” by John T. McQueen, CFSP is another article that funeral directors and cemeterians should find a moment to read.

As we head into 2023, business growth and sustainability must be on the frontal lobe of every business owner. Considering adding services for pet owners could be the next step for your business. Check it out and let us know what you think.

Happy 2023!

December

Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq., is ICCFA’s editorial director and managing editor of Memento Mori. She can be reached at tatia@iccfa.com.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI

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SUCCESSION PLANNING

A 2023 Industry Outlook What do I envision happening in our part of the funeral care industry for 2023?

by Kent Robertson

C

ONSUMER PREFERENCES for more contemporary, personalized, and transparent deathcare experiences will continue to expand in 2023. Digital channels that allow families to choose when, where, and how to engage with us will gain a greater foothold in the market. The most successful companies will seamlessly blend familiar funeral traditions with new technologies, modern operations, and family-focused services tailored to each family’s individual wants and needs.

Succession planning will continue to take on added urgency as the Baby Boomer generation of multigenerational owners approaches retirement age. Owners of small funeral homes will increasingly be challenged by the uncertain macroeconomic climate.

Inflation, labor shortages, and more limited access to capital will prompt many to seek partners to help them update and grow their businesses. Others are faced with the fact that they have no viable successors within their families or among their employees, so they will look for someone to buy them out.

Merger and acquisition activity in the deathcare space, which accelerated in the wake of the

As the population continues to shift to the country’s retirement meccas, cremation will only become more popular among these highly mobile, transient, and techsavvy consumers.

COVID-19 pandemic, promises to remain strong in the year ahead.

As the population continues to shift to the country’s retirement meccas, cremation will only become more popular among these highly mobile, transient, and tech-savvy consumers. This trend also will drive the demand for direct-to-consumer cremation services in 2023 and push state and federal government agencies to update statutes and rules governing funeral professionals.

I am very optimistic about the opportunities before our company and the profession in 2023 and beyond. This is one of the most exciting times to be in the funeral profession and I can’t wait to see what the future brings.

Kent Robertson is President & CEO, Foundation Partners Group. At Foundation Partners, we will continue to look for cremation-focused, market-leading brands who share our vision for creating the funeral home of the future.

10 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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TRIBUTES & MEMORIALIZATION

My Children’s First Experience with Loss

by Dina Cirigliano

O

N THURSDAY, JANUARY 13, 2022 , my son returned home from school and said to me, bursting through the front door, “Mommy, my teacher died!” These words stopped me in my tracks. I knew Mrs. S. was battling cancer for quite some time and I kept in close contact with her on a near-daily basis. Now I understood why she had not responded to the text I sent her the night before. It was because she was no longer with us.

My heart was broken for my son and all of her other students, as Mrs. S. was their teacher in second grade and now again in third. Giuseppe, my little 8-year-old had a very special bond with Mrs. S. She was the one who taught him to read. She was the one who built his academic confidence. She was the first teacher ever to tell him that he is a smart boy. They loved each other so much that they even kept in touch over the summer vacation.

A few seconds later, my 6-year-old daughter, Gianna, followed through the door and yelled (in the echoing voice of a firstgrader), “Giuseppe’s teacher is dead! She’s dead and plus she died and plus she’s not even alive anymore.” I took a deep breath and sat them down on the couch to talk.

An Honest Conversation Neither Giuseppe nor Gianna have ever had to deal with death before, aside from their makeshift funerals and burials for their many, many pet hermit crabs who pass away from being fed too many Doritos.

They told me that their principal, Mrs. H., had gathered the students together and told them that the beloved, dedicated, amazing Mrs. S. had passed away. Gianna said that many of the children were crying and sad. My children attend a Lutheran school, which is steeped in Christianity, and I must say that their principal, Mrs. H., did a phenomenal job comforting the kids, reassuring the children of Jesus’s sacrifice for us all, and making sure they all knew that Mrs. S.’s amazing soul dwells in Heaven with the Lord above because of God’s love for us all.

Mrs. H. is a true treasure. She even made it possible to have the students view Mrs. S.’s wake during their school day via 12 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

livestream so that they may see and hear the service and special prayers. Still, both of my children had many, many, many questions: “Where did they take Mrs. Stoudt’s body after the wake was over?”

“What time are they going to bury her body? Five o’clock or four o’clock are nice times” “Does her body stay in that shiny box when they bury her or do they take it out and use the box for other things?”

“When can we bring flowers to where she’s buried like we do when we visit grandpa’s mommy and daddy?”

At this point I told the kids that I would find out where she’s buried and that we would visit her gravesite to pray and place flowers. Both Giuseppe and Gianna smiled.

They seemed content and were happy that we were going to do this to honor Mrs. S.’s memory. However, that is not how things would go at all.

• • • •

The Reality After checking the funeral home’s website that handled Mrs. S.’s wake, I learned that her body was cremated at the Fresh Pond Crematory. Now I had to tell the kids that there was no gravesite to visit at a cemetery, but that we could go to the columbarium to visit Mrs. S.’s niche instead. While they were a bit confused as to what cremation actually was, they were okay with it. As long as they could visit Mrs. S.’s final resting place, it didn’t seem to matter to them whether it was a plot of land or a niche. But yet again, that is not how things went.

I contacted Fresh Pond Crematory via Facebook Messenger and requested the niche number and location of Mrs. S’s urn.

A very nice man promptly responded and

informed me that while Mrs. S. was indeed cremated at his facility, her family did not have her remains placed in a niche at his columbarium. My heart sank. First, I told my young children we could visit Mrs. S’s gravesite at the cemetery and I was wrong.

Then I told them we could visit her niche at the columbarium and I was wrong again.

At this point I was 0 for 2 and I was going to have to tell them that there is no place to visit to pray for and honor Mrs. S. It was at this time that the very nice man from Fresh Pond Crematory came to the rescue. He sent me a message saying that the Memorial Tree at his establishment is still up and that Giuseppe was welcome to come in to color a dove with crayons and hang it on the tree for his wonderful teacher. I thought to myself, “What a wonderful suggestion, and what a kind-hearted man for allowing my son to do this!” Now my kids could come to an actual, physical place to honor their teacher, which really is so important in this earthly life of ours. The nice man gave me directions and told us to come see him the next day at 10:00 am. He said to ask for J.P.

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The Nice Man Who Goes by “J.P.” After breakfast the next morning, I packed Giuseppe, Gianna, and grandpa (my father) into the car to head to the other side of Queens, NY, to pay our respects to Mrs. S. When we pulled up to Fresh Pond Crematory & U.S. Columbarium on Mt. Olivet Crescent, we were all amazed at this very large, stately building that looked very much like a mix between a museum and a castle. You could tell from the outside that this building was drenched in history, yet had been kept in pristine condition by whoever was in charge.

We entered and were met immediately.

As it turns out, this nice man who corresponded with me and called himself J.P. was actually Mr. Di Troia, the president of Fresh Pond Crematory & U.S. Columbarium. It is so rare for someone in upper management to ever interact with someone like me, a random mom making an inquiry over the internet. I couldn’t believe that the most important man at this entire establishment would take the time to see us, but as the day moved forward, I would come to see that Mr. Di Troia is a very humble, hard-working, hands-on, dedicated person who really is just out to help the community with their needs upon the death of a loved one.

As Mr. Di Troia led us to the memorial tree he spoke very kindly and very naturally to both my children. It was very obvious to me that he was both a dad and a grandpa.

He sat my kids at a table right in front of an absolutely beautiful memorial tree, draped in strings of bright, white lights and covered in doves already placed there by family members of the deceased whose remains are kept at this gorgeous columbarium. The kids were so glad to have the opportunity to color a dove and place it on the tree. My son was finally able to have a physical place to visit and to complete an actual gesture in remembrance of his beloved Mrs. S. Then, Mr. Di Troia gave me some doves for Giuseppe’s classmates to color and told me to let the principal know that he would love to have the entire class come in to pay their respects to Mrs. S. At this point, I figured our task was complete and that we would leave. Again, I was wrong.

Mr. Di Troia wanted to give us a tour of his establishment and we accepted his

I noticed immediately that Mr. Di Troia had a real caring nature in accommodating mourners, as most of these niches were so very personalized with his assistance. For example, he made sure an avid cyclist whose remains are at the columbarium had a tiny bicycle attached to his urn. offer. He brought us to the very inviting and peaceful chapel that doubles as a viewing room for those who want to witness the cremation of their loved one. We saw the bronze-doors of the four cremation chambers through the viewing glass and Mr. Di Troia answered all the children’s questions that followed.

He spoke to the kids in a manner that a 6-year-old and an 8-year-old could understand. He even reiterated what the kids learned at school—that the body is simply a vessel no longer needed after death. After, he led us down passageways, hallways, and stairways of marble and rooms filled with glass-front niches containing urns, photos, and keepsakes. I was amazed that such a huge place could be kept in such immaculate condition from the floors to the ceilings.

I noticed immediately that Mr. Di Troia had a real caring nature in accommodating mourners, as most of these niches were so very personalized with his assistance.

For example, he made sure an avid cyclist whose remains are at the columbarium had a tiny bicycle attached to his urn.

Details within each and every niche were impeccable.

We were in awe of the intricate art displayed on the many stained-glass windows throughout the entire establishment. Mr. Di Troia showed us the 9/11 Memorial with the names of the deceased etched in glass, an irreplaceable piece for sure. We walked through a room with a section dedicated to babies, and Mr. Di Troia showed us the name of his brother who had passed away

as a child. Mr. Di Troia showed us the niche of his uncle, who happens to be the former president of the Fresh Pond Crematory & U.S. Columbarium.

The most memorable part of the tour, for me, was when Mr. Di Troia showed us the niche of his own 18-month-old son who passed away in the 1970s. I was thinking to myself, we are complete strangers to this man, and here he is, sharing something so personal with us. It was such an honor to say a prayer for Mr. Di Troia’s child at that moment.

Mr. Di Troia is a credit to his profession, as he provides top-notch, dignified cremation services to his community. He is a warm, compassionate man who managed to take the scariness out of death for my kids.

For this, I will remain forever grateful. He maintains his columbarium flawlessly, as it is the final resting place of his own baby boy and approximately 40,000 others.

A Reflection of Love and Caring This establishment is the epitome of a real, American family business filled with love and purpose. Nothing there is factory-like at all. He personalizes his care and should be proud of the quality of his services. Mr. Di Troia is indeed a genuine family man and takes the time to get to know his families in their time of need, as he got to know mine.

As our tour came to an end, we thanked Mr. Di Troia for his time and for all he did for us. As we left, I was so glad that the Fresh Pond Crematory & U.S. Columbarium was such a warm and welcoming place.

I feel truly blessed that my children’s first experience with death was made so much easier by Mr. Di Troia.

His establishment is a sanctuary where the living may go to remember loved ones and to celebrate their lives. It is a place where children, like mine, are welcomed and educated and made to feel at ease during a very confusing and difficult time. It is a place where the remains of a loved one are protected, honored, and cherished in very calming, capable hands.

Submitted by Joseph “JP” Di Troia, president of U.S. Columbarium Co/ Fresh Pond Crematory in New York. He can be reached at j.ditroia@verizon. net.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI

13

DEATHCARE TECHNOLOGY

How Funeral Homes Can Use Technology to Help Themselves & Their Families

by Jennifer Mehlman

F

UNERAL HOMES KNOW THAT DETAILS MATTER. They take immense pride in helping families honor and commemorate loved ones and look to provide every family with a unique experience. On many occasions, funeral directors have to balance offering unique customizations for a family and ensuring they spend the appropriate amount of time with every family they care for.

Introducing supportive technology can help enhance personalization for families while helping funeral homes reduce the time required to manage details. We have curated three best practices on how technology can help.

Automation Programs including Aftercare can be automated to generate messaging based on key case details at the appropriate time, including the anniversary of passing. It provides a wonderful opportunity for continuous care and creates meaningful touchpoints with a family without a heavy lift from funeral directors.

While funeral homes have traditionally relied on paper, and may continue to do so, there are technologies that enable the sharing of digital files. These digital files allow families to access information from anywhere and easily share details with their supporters.

The messaging is adjustable based on an individual’s relationship with the deceased, religious or cultural observances, and frequency of messaging. This flexibility, paired with automated sends and the ability to see ongoing engagement, enables funeral homes to personalize with no effort. To some, the word automation may feel cold. In fact, this simple technology can easily add warmth and personalization.

Visualization Keepsakes provide comfort and help families honor and commemorate their loved ones. Some technology helps you to determine the most appropriate tributes for a family and enables families to see and approve the personalized 14 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

keepsakes prior to the services.

Let technology help you determine what to create, including Prayer Cards and Yahrzeit Calendars, and enable you to design, email, and print in minutes. Unique services like this allow funeral directors and funeral homes to share proofs with families prior to printing, which saves time and offers a personalized experience.

Simplification While funeral homes have traditionally relied on paper, and may continue to do so, there are technologies that enable the sharing of digital files. These digital files allow families to access information from anywhere and easily share details with their supporters. Some products provide an enhanced support feature where supporters can find service information, send appropriate condolence gifts, and safely make personalized contributions. Additionally, these features are integrated with other technologies, reducing data entry and data duplication for funeral homes.

There are many ways introducing technology can help customize the experience for families and elevate existing in-person care. Enabling families to receive more personalized touchpoints, visualize keepsakes prior to receiving them, and having a simple way to track and share information are some examples. Each of these additional features is powered by technology that both provides excellent family care and saves time.

Jennifer Mehlman is head of marketing at Sympathy Brands. Sympathy Brands digital care ecosystem helps funeral homes and cemeteries provide personalized services to enhance family care. Creating customized experiences, Sympathy Brands bridges the gap between technology and personal attention through features including automated aftercare, premium streaming services, virtual arrangement meetings, and more. Sympathy Brands ecosystem connects to top industry technologies to publish obituary information and design and print stationery removing data duplication.

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WHEN

THAT CALL

COMES IN, WILL YOU BE READY

?

Preparing Your Cemetery to Serve the Needs of Families

by David Line

16 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

www.iccfa.com

I

NTERMENTS, BURIALS, PLACEMENTS, SERVICES…

whatever your location calls them, they are what cemeteries do; but we don’t always handle them the appropriate way and can lose out on a great deal of opportunities as a result. In my home state of Wisconsin, there is an anti-combo law that requires funeral homes to operate separately from cemeteries.

This means we must build relationships with many funeral homes and directors throughout the state. As funeral professionals, we know and understand the laws, but families do not; so they are often left confused as to why they need to visit with separate funeral entities. Having a consistent structure to your first call is vital to providing a gratifying funeral planning experience for the grieving families you are meeting with while setting up your cemetery for future sales success.

When the Call Comes in Families trust us to help provide closure after their loved one passes away. The cemetery is the last place their loved one will ever be, so we want them to have confidence in us and the cemetery their loved one is being laid to rest in. To build their confidence, we need to be confident when meeting with them, which is achieved through proper and consistent preparation and follow through.

“Your ordinary day is their extraordinary day.” This is a great line that the Marcus Corporation instills within their employees so they can always remember to provide topnotch service. This is just as true for us in funeral services; but in reverse. Your ordinary day is their awful day.

Yet compassion fatigue is a real thing that most funeral professionals suffer from at some point. When dealing with grieving families daily, it is easy to forget that this is a unique and awful experience for (most) families we meet with.

This is why I always make sure to train our family service counselors to offer their condolences when first greeting families. It is so easy to forget to offer condolences, but it can set the tone for the entire experience a family has at your establishment. Condolences must be sincere and heartfelt. Counselors and staff should slow down, put the pen and computer mouse down, offer condolences, and create a forum for families to tell stories about their loved one.

Set the Expectations Funeral planning can get confusing if this is the first time families are going through the process. Especially in an anti-combo state, such as Wisconsin, the consumer rarely understands the divide between funeral homes and cemeteries. This added inconvenience and stress (and cost) creates more steps in the process, which is already confusing. However, explaining the importance of why you are meeting will help them better understand the process.

Confirm the location of burial with the family regardless of whether they state they “know where the STOCK.ADOBE.COM / STUDIOSTOKS

location is” or not. Perspectives on burial locations can change over the years and while families may remember or even if they visited the site immediately prior to the meeting, there are important items to point out when at the burial location.

The last thing any family or cemeterian wants is for the family to arrive and have the impression that a different location was supposed to have been prepared.

Furthermore, visiting the interment space allows you the opportunity to ask key questions that will help garner sales opportunities.

When driving or walking to the final resting place, you can choose whether to have the family ride in your vehicle or ride separately. You may choose to ride separately to avoid any liability concerns, but you are missing valuable time where you could build rapport with the family and learn about the decedent. If you choose to have them ride with you, it is critical to keep your car clean and smelling nice. The short car conversation can give you memorial design ideas as you ask about the decedent. Do not use this time to talk about yourself or the business, unless you are asked directly.

The best salespeople are detectives. Our job is to ask questions and listen, which is why we should be asking these important questions when performing a verification with families: 1. Is this the correct interment space? Often the answer to this question is obvious as the decedent’s name may be memorialized on a pre-need memorial or there is a crypt/niche front installed; but that is not always the case. When families have multiple spaces with no memorials, it is important to identify, in person, which space they would like to use. Families may have no idea how to proceed, so you can provide them with guidance on what most people do, or you can ask questions about their family dynamic that can help make sense of the layout. Ask questions and find out what layout is best suited for the family unless your cemetery has strict guidelines on the locations of burials.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI

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WHEN THAT CALL COMES IN, WILL YOU BE READY?

Note: Have the next of kin sign a document stating whether they verified the space through an interment site inspection. As stated before, we must always take families out to verify the correct space whether it is hot, cold, rain, or shine. Wrongful burials are a massive headache for all parties involved, so it is our responsibility to ensure they do not happen.

Identifying and flagging or coning the grave space ahead of time makes it easy to locate when the ground’s crew takes the first step to verify the correct location of the decedent with the family. Aside from making it easier to identify the correct space, the identification serves as a way to prevent wrongful burials. If the identifier is in one space and your paperwork indicates the space is elsewhere, then this should prompt the grounds supervisor to get in touch with the office to clarify which is the correct space.

2. One thing we need to discuss is memorialization (the stone), is that something your family has given any thought to? Most families have never gone through this process, and they are looking for guidance. A memorial stone is part of the funeral planning process and they are certainly thinking about it, so this is the perfect time to start the conversation.

If a memorial has been pre-planned and installed prior to a death, then a picture for the office records is obtained and the cost for etching the final date of death is obtained. If there is no memorial

Respect the family’s wishes and do not apply too much pressure on the first call. If they would like to discuss it at a different time, then you can easily schedule an aftercare and sell a memorial then.

installed, then there is a sales opportunity and the staff should be prepared to present and sell a memorial during the first call appointment.

Depending on your market, you may have aggressive memorial vendors to compete with, so it is important to get ahead of the competition to make families aware that your cemetery can assist them with purchasing a memorial. If your cemetery does not offer this service, you should absolutely consider offering it out of convenience for the families you meet with and the revenue of the park you work at. Below are a few responses you may get from the family: “Yes, that is something we would like to look at today.”

“We would like to do this, but can we handle this at a different time?”

“No, we are not interested.”

Respect the family’s wishes and do not apply too much pressure on the first call. If they would like to discuss it at a different time, then you can easily schedule an aftercare and sell a memorial then.

If they would like to discuss the memorial in the first call, then ask design questions while you are on the grounds so your job is easier back in the office. Here are some basic design questions you can ask, keeping in mind your cemetery/section rules and regulations: Do you prefer a memorial that is flush or stands upright?

Bronze or granite?

Are there any colors in the area that stand out to you?

Did your loved one have a favorite color that we can try and match?

If they prefer an upright, would you lean toward smooth, polished sides or rocky sides for a more rustic look?

Do you like frosted panels or no panels?

What kind of hobbies did your [relative] have that you would like to memorialize?

What would you like your loved one to be remembered for?

You will notice these are all “this or that” (alternative choice) questions versus “yes or no” questions. Yes or no questions can leave you with a lack of definitive answers.

There are an endless number of options when it comes to memorial design; asking questions will make it easier to narrow down these options before throwing an extensive emblem book at the family.

Consider having a memorial design ready for the family to view, which will speed along the design process. If there is an opportunity to read an obituary prior to the first call, many details for the design can be obtained from learning more about the person who passed away. If an obituary is not available, searching for the deceased on Facebook or other social media can also tell a story about who that person was; however, this also can help you understand more about the deceased to be able to better prepare for the first call meeting.

• • •

• • • • • • • •

3. I would be remiss if I did not ask, there is space in the nearby area, is it important for you to have a final resting place near your [relative]?

Their responses will be similar to 18 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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the ones I had mentioned when discussing memorialization. These conversations should be had right now, while this is the focus. You are doing families a disservice if you choose to ignore these questions at this important time.

Whether they want to discuss their pre-need arrangements now or in the future, you are at least making them aware that they will need to make these decisions at some point and that most people make these decisions when they have experienced a loss. By asking this question, you will get a proper gauge on their interest level and you will know how to proceed with them going forward.

Asking these questions when performing lot verification is not optional; they must be asked with every at-need family you meet with. Being consistent will help your confidence grow when asking these questions and will result in more pre-need property sales along with lowering the amount of memorials you lose to outside vendors.

Furthermore, these questions will save you time spent on trying to reach out to the family for future appointments when you can have all their arrangements sewn up between the first call and aftercare meetings.

Start the Paperwork When speaking with the family, make sure they are meeting with you well in advance of the service date to give your grounds crew enough time to prepare the interment space. At our cemeteries, we

require families to meet with us at least 24 hours in advance during the spring and summer months, while requiring 48 hours during winter months, as we may need to heat a gravesite before preparing.

While it is good to have firm guidelines in place, flexibility should be practiced to accommodate certain situations.

Some family service counselors may choose to have much of the paperwork completed ahead of time to expedite the process, but I would caution against that. Families are providing us with details to have human remains laid to rest; and many times, the details can change as the meeting progresses. Completing the paperwork ahead of time requires careful review of each item line by line to confirm that all details are correct.

Normally, the person you are meeting with has the authority to sign off on the decedent being laid to rest; but that is not always the case. In many scenarios, the decedent is the owner of the space or the next of kin is the lot owner, but that must be confirmed. If neither of those is the case, then you will need to get permission from the correct authority to proceed with the interment. Include a signature line on your paperwork to get the go ahead.

What sort of details should your authorization paperwork include? Start by listing the demographic basics and the requirements that your state may have for what needs to be recorded permanently on file. As a cemetery, we are curators of family history so having details about someone being laid to rest in your cemetery builds value and confidence in what we do as a cemetery.

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JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 19

WHEN THAT CALL COMES IN, WILL YOU BE READY?

Even the best ground crews make mistakes, and the interment process can be a clumsy one. If a misstep takes place, they can cause irreparable emotional damage to families while they are at your cemetery trying to find closure.

Following some of the basics, it can be immensely helpful to list whether the person was a military veteran, which also might be required. This will let you know if you need to prepare for military honors along with additional veteran-specific services your cemetery may offer.

Veteran status can simplify memorialization, as honorably discharged veterans with a DD-214 will qualify for a free government memorial. Having that information, you can also provide an identical memorial for a spouse, assuming the spouse is not also a veteran.

Finalize the Service Next, you can hash out some of the details regarding the service. What is the date, day, and time of the service and how long will they need to utilize your facilities? If your cemetery has a chapel, will the family be using the chapel, or will everything take place graveside? Will they be meeting at your office, or will they be arriving in procession?

If your cemetery has multiple entrances, which entrance will the procession be arriving through? Are there any specific cultural ceremonies that need to be observed, e.g., some cultures prefer to have some dirt next to an interment space along with shovels so they can take part in the initial steps of closing an interment space.

Will there be clergy present to perform the committal or would they like a cemetery representative to lead a service? If they would like a cemetery representative to say a few words, you may want to consider having a prayer book made with different poems and prayers ready for the family to select from. Anything pertaining to the decedent being laid to rest should be documented on the form to avoid any confusion regarding the service or work that needs to be done for the decedent. Having all of this in one place can avoid anything being forgotten or mistakes being made.

20 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

You should have families acknowledge whether they will witness their loved ones’ remains being placed in their final resting place. This lets the ground crew know whether there will be an audience for the interment.

Even the best ground crews make mistakes, and the interment process can be a clumsy one. If a misstep takes place, they can cause irreparable emotional damage to families while they are at your cemetery trying to find closure.

Mistakes during an interment can lead to litigation, which all team members need to be aware of. You may want to keep witnessed services to a minimum. When presenting this part of an authorization with a family, I will phrase it in an assumptive way: “Typically families will not witness their loved one being laid to rest; I just need you to sign here acknowledging that.” We still have the occasional witness service, but this phrasing can help decrease the number of witnessed services.

Require Aftercare Setting an aftercare appointment is the foundation for a strong pre-need program and can secure the stability of the cemetery for generations to come. This should be a separate line item on the authorization paperwork. By having it as a permanent, visible fixture on a document, it helps to build value behind setting the appointment as opposed to only verbally asking to set it.

Consistent scripting can aid in setting an aftercare appointment; otherwise, the next of kin may not see the benefit of having to visit with you again. The following script has helped increase the family service counselor’s ability to set aftercares: Typically, two or three days after we lay your [relative] to rest, we will visit you for an aftercare. At the aftercare, we will answer any questions your family has between now and the service, review essential information about the park, along with what our relationship looks like moving forward, and tie up any loose ends we may have. Given that the service is Tuesday, that would put our aftercare on either Thursday or Friday. Which day works better for you?

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Never ask if they would like to have the meeting, rather, ask which day it will be. Make aftercare a requirement, not an option. During the first call, we do not want to overburden people with excessive information that they may forget during this challenging time. Aftercare allows us to delve deeper into the pre-need discussion along with reviewing memorial design options in a more relaxed setting. During the first call, the focus should be on what is necessary for immediate service.

Aftercare is a terrific opportunity to obtain referrals. Now that they have planned a funeral, most people will begin to understand the benefits of end-of-life planning. If the decedent’s arrangements were not pre-planned, you can explain to the next of kin how pre-planning can make the process less laborious. If the decedent had a pre-need plan in place, then the next of kin has now experienced how easy the planning process can be. True believers in end-of-life planning are your biggest advocates and providers of referrals; so just ask for them!

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Offer Assistance Once your meeting concludes and you have provided next of kin with copies of all the necessary paperwork, make sure to leave them with an open-ended offer of assistance. They are going through a stressful time and as experts on what they are going through, it can be comforting to know that they can lean on us. Hold the doors open for them, make them feel special, and remember that while it may be just another day at the office for you, this can be a unique and horrendous day for them.

If the process is consistent and shows families that you are doing whatever you can to take care of them, they will look at a negative situation and see it as a positive one. If cemeteries can be seen in a positive light, it will serve to perpetuate interest for generations to come.

David Line, davidl@tributeinc.com, is general sales manager of the Tribute Companies. He is responsible for driving pre-need sales at the Wausau, Green Bay, and Milwaukee cemetery locations as well as ensuring that all sales counselors maintain appropriate follow-up with all families who have property at company parks.

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Oh, 22 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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the Horror!

by Daniel M. Isard, MSFS

Neglecting Your Cemetery Grounds Could Ruin Your Reputation

I

T WAS LIKE A SCENE FROM A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE. Coffins were dangling on the side of a building containing burial niches from four stories up. Coffins containing people’s loved ones exposed and in danger of severe damage after the wall of the building known as The Resurrection collapsed on the grounds of the oldest cemetery in Naples, Italy. Pictures certainly are worth more than words when the press grabs a candid shot of such a horrific scene.

No one was physically injured in the collapse. But the families of those who dangled were emotionally injured and even held a protest to hold the city officials accountable for their alleged poor management of the public cemetery. Unfortunately, this was the second incident occurring this year at the cemetery. In January, about 300 burial niches were destroyed when another building onsite collapsed.

And that’s not all! In 2021, after a landslide, 200 coffins fell into the sea off the coast of a town in Northern Italy after part of a cemetery collapsed. No word whether those loved ones were ever recovered.

When something occurs, the normal reaction is to say, “That couldn’t happen here.” Sure, that could never happen here, right?

Hmm, do even know the structural integrity of your buildings and mausoleums? Do you inspect them regularly?

Saying that such a horrific event could never happen in this country is the same as sticking your head in the sand. This is not comforting. That statement doesn’t describe the steps you would take to protect the consumer. That statement doesn’t explain what you do differently.

We have witnessed headlines in this country regarding bad crematory operators, thieves of pre-need money, and other reprehensible acts by bad actors within the sphere of our profession.

We no longer live in a world where the local news is all that affects us. A story that catches your neighbor’s eye, even if the story is a thousand miles away, could affect you.

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Profit vs. Loss Too often in cemetery sales, we fail to talk about what we do differently. I think the first thing we do differently than a city cemetery is the use of perpetual care. I have worked with many city cemeteries in my career. It is unfortunate that city cemeteries are subject to budgets that are more limited than privately operated cemetery companies. Cemeteries in the eyes of city managers often go from being a “source of pride” to a “cost” quickly.

I have seen city cemeteries sold by governments because of the increasing cost of maintenance, insurance, and staffing. The problem of increasing costs is not unique to city cemeteries, but private cemetery ownership often has a keen eye on the revenue and new sales, which turns a cost into a profit.

Many city cemeteries are not operated with a profit agenda, which means adhering to the budget and maybe even cutting corners on deferred maintenance is a constant issue.

In almost all cases, city cemeteries are exempt from creating Endowment or Perpetual Care funds. So they don’t create reserves. I have seen a problem with the sustainability of Endowment or Perpetual Care funds for those cemeteries that are required to be funding into them. The problem stems from a simple mathematical issue.

The government sets a minimum funding standard for the deposits into an Endowment or Perpetual Care fund. This minimum is set without any study. Is the corpus of this trust going to JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 23

be sufficient in the future when it will be required to produce the income for the maintenance of the cemetery site IN PERPETUITY?! Sorry for shouting, but the answer is “no.”

This is a funding standard agreed upon by negotiation between legislators and lobbyists. In one case, I saw a record of a hearing on this matter from the 1980s where people assumed an 8% interest rate.

Well, maybe at 8% there are sufficient funds; but we have not seen 8% bond or CD rates in 40 years! What might be sufficient at 8% is clearly underfunded at 2%!

Your own state law on the use of Endowment or Perpetual Care funds is important to revisit. Can the corpus of the trust be used for maintenance and repairs? In some states, repairs and maintenance may be a use of the trust corpus; but in others, it is not allowed.

I think it is important that we all shift away from funding our Endowment or Perpetual Care trusts at the required minimum. I think we can all turn this

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OH, THE HORROR!

In some states, repairs and maintenance may be a use of the trust corpus; but in others, it is not allowed. overfunding into a marketing advantage.

A consumer’s worse cemetery nightmare is that the site is poorly maintained.

By overfunding, we are going to have more corpus working today. The interest earnings today can be used to provide for the site.

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More sales equals more trust funding.

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someday), it increases the earnings of the cemetery.

When someday the property is fully subscribed, then the consumers will have confidence in the future care. It is a perpetual motion financial machine funding a perpetual trust.

I would contend that no one wants to buy a cemetery that has no available sales space. Yes, you might be able to harvest some fence lines and build a multiple story above your current crypts.

However, in essence once a cemetery is down to its last generation of sales, the quantity of available buyers declines sharply.

adds to the cost; and if properly constructed, it adds to the lifespan of the mausoleum building.

As we learn from the errors of Naples cemeteries, we need to look internally. We must be prepared to answer several key questions: What are we doing to ensure the structural integrity of our interment buildings?

What are the funding standards for our trusts?

What can I do to make sure the sustainability of my trust will exceed expectations?

What can I do now to provide for effective maintenance expanding the lifetime of my above ground interment sites?

Do I need to lobby to change my state law as it pertains to the use of trust corpus for repairs and maintenance?

Another way to look at this is to take a due diligence trip to Naples. If you explain that this article scared you, maybe it could be a tax deduction!

• • • •

Structural Capacity Modern structural concrete may have a lifespan of 100 years. Obviously, the accuracy of this warranty won’t be known during any of our lifetimes. However, the cost of reinforcing an outdoor mausoleum 100 years from now could be well beyond what most cemeterians (for profit and not for profit) can afford. Where will the funds come from to provide for this capital project?

A marketing opportunity exists in the highlighting of the construction differential between your outdoor mausoleum and others.

There are so many factors that cheap construction of a mausoleum omits, which exacerbates problems. Items such as rebar support, drainage, and air circulation can affect the life of the building.

The difference between outdoor crypts and indoor crypts must be compared. The complexity of building an indoor mausoleum

•

Daniel M. Isard, MSFS, is founder of The Foresight Companies LLC, a Phoenix-based business and management consulting firm specializing in mergers and acquisitions, valuations, accounting, financing HR services and family surveys. He is the author of several books and hundreds of published articles in industry magazines, including “The Director’s Finance 201” column. He can be reached at 800.426.0165 or danisard@ theforesightcompanies.com.

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JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 25

Grave

by Susan Cushing

A

s we have seen happen with the overall crime rate increasing since the beginning of the pandemic, personal injury attorneys have also seen an uptick in claims of negligence and criminal activity within the funeral and cemetery profession.

The lawsuits run the gamut; some also accompany criminal charges against the alleged perpetrator: Expensive coffins retrieved after burial and switched out for less expensive ones; Multiple bodies placed in one casket or burial plot; Cremated remains being switched or lost; Bodies being mishandled, mutilated, disfigured, or distorted; The deceased being robbed of expensive family heirloom jewelry, clothing, or personal items; Body parts removed and sold as donor tissue;

• • • • • •

26 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

• Grave sites vandalized.

It’s a sacred trust, a promise, and duty of every funeral director to ensure that the remains entrusted to their keeping are treated with the utmost care and respect. Not something to be taken lightly, this is a commitment that must be supported by every person employed at the funeral home or cemetery.

Unfortunately, we are human; therefore, we are fallible. Mistakes can happen. Even the most conscientious funeral professional is susceptible to situations or events that can interfere with this pledge.

“Ninety-nine percent of the time people are buried without incident, but there’s always that one time and it can be traumatic to all concerned,” says plaintiff personal injury attorney Mark E. Seitelman.

According to him, incidents are rare. But when incidents do happen, they tend to be honest mistakes; it’s unusual that any allegation of mistreatment or abuse of remains stems from a deliberate or conscious act.

“Funeral directors should be aware that they may be held liable for the mishandling or withholding of the body, and at

www.iccfa.com

Avoiding Negligence Complaints with Due Diligence least in New York this doesn’t necessarily require actual physical damage,” Mark says. “They have to be very careful to follow the wishes of the family.”

Tragic Events Based in New York City, Mark has been on the other side of these situations, representing the families of the deceased. He points out that the law is very rigid, with tight parameters, and it doesn’t have to be a catastrophic error to ignite legal action.

Mark has seen firsthand the tragic impact mishaps can have not only on the deceased’s loved ones, but on the funeral directors as well. Not unlike the surgeon who loses a patient on the table, when a funeral professional, for whatever reason, fails to live up to his or her commitment, it has a devastating and lasting effect.

“I had one case where the deceased was an exceptionally tall man,” Mark says, “and the funeral home did not have a casket long enough to accommodate him. The funeral personnel decided to squeeze him into the largest one they had and, in the process, broke his neck. Because it was an open casket funeral, it was quite obvious that the neck had been broken. The poor widow was STOCK.ADOBE.COM / RUDALL30 / DARK ILLUSION

devastated, and viewing her husband this way caused her tremendous psychological damage. In fact, her hair turned white.”

According to Mark, there also have been cases reported of the wrong body in the wrong plot. “There was a case where there were multiple funerals happening simultaneously, and a body was buried in the wrong plot,” he explains. “The family caught it because they were burying their grandfather, and they noticed the name on the casket was a woman’s name. Add to the distress the family was already experiencing was the fact that their grandfather, meanwhile, already had been buried in the woman’s plot. The lawsuit in this case came under withholding of the body.”

But to be fair, “the funeral director was not there,” Mark adds.

“He had become ill and had to rely on untrained employees to conduct the burials without him.”

There are several instances where the deceased was supposed to be buried but was accidentally cremated, and Mark notes that the busier the funeral home the more likelihood of mix-ups occurring. “It’s called the loss of sepulcher,” he adds, “which by definition is when the next of kin of the deceased is deprived of the right to choose and control the burial, cremation, or other final disposition of a dead body.”

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 27

GRAVE MISTAKES

en route to the gravesite, one or more vehicles are involved in a collision.”

An Honorable Profession Funeral negligence lawsuits are rare because the professionals who provide burial and cremation services are conscientious and dedicated people who have the highest regard for those remains entrusted to their care. But that is why a mistake grabs the headlines and is, at times, exaggerated by the media.

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Not surprising, the COVID pandemic created an atmosphere that led to some problems primarily due to the sheer volume of burials and the unusual conditions.

But not all burial-related lawsuits have to do with the on-site burial, according to Mark.

“For instance,” he says, “there have been slip and fall cases where someone might trip on the pathway of the cemetery or have a tombstone fall on them. There have also been cases where in the vehicle procession

Not surprising, the COVID pandemic created an atmosphere that led to some problems primarily due to the sheer volume of burials and the unusual conditions.

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As the attorney representing families on those rare occasions, Mark is the first to acknowledge how diligent and meticulous most funeral professionals are, and that they take great pride in their services. He likes to remind everyone that even in the most ideal setting, mistakes can be made; but they can also be prevented.

“There’s no secret formula for avoiding these situations,” he says. “It just requires what the majority of funeral directors are already doing, which is to remain vigilant and adhere to the laws that govern.

“ICCFA is an excellent example of the mindset and dedication that funeral directors adhere to,” says Mark. “I have the utmost respect for the professionals who work and provide such excellent service.”

Susan Cushing is a regular contributor to Memento Mori.

28 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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It’s Not All Mother

R

EFLECTING ON THE POIGNANT WORDS

of Khalil Gibran, “the eyes are the windows to (one’s) soul,” so, too, may we regard the lawn inset grave marker or monument the last tangible, touchable

“window to our beloved ones.” The marker is a lasting memorial of honor and remembrance, sometimes simple and other times intricate, and it reminds us that the individual departed lived among us and with purpose.

The embellishments artistically created and found on bronze or granite plates often represent life accomplishments. They present a welcoming and inviting testament of one’s life to share with loved ones or with curious others.

The grave marker, upon approach, presents and releases all the built-up emotion and feeling we hold for the memory of our loved on. As in a moment of “awe,” our souls become grounded and at peace to be reunited with our loved one(s).

But what happens when that beautiful grave marker starts to show age and damage over time from the ravages of weather and the elements?

I have watched with great sadness as parents and grandparents visiting a child or grandchild anguish over the condition of the marker wondering what more they can do to reverse the ravages of time.

Damaged or aged markers not only serve to hide the beauty that lies beneath but they also adversely impact the look of your cemetery property.

Safety First Cemeteries can perform regular care and cleaning of the material surfaces using safe and responsible chemicals and applicators, or they can allow their families to do so. But the key word here is “safe.” The use of aggressive acidic cleaners is not only potentially dangerous to the user, by direct skin contact or inhalation of vapor gases, they can immediately damage stone finishes and painted highlights.

30 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

For examples, Bronze and granite can be damaged if not treated properly. Bronze is a classical, enduring metal steeped in history—an alloy mix of earth metals, namely, copper, aluminum, or zinc and a non-metal such as silicon. Bronze’s composition with copper is responsible for the “green” or Verde appearance that oftentimes occurs on plates and sculpture composed of this metal.

Environmental contributors affecting bronze can be atmospheric, such as air pollutants (jet fuel, fire ash, UV), surfaces gases including oxygen, water, calcium, and other mineral salts like iron.

Harsh chemicals can degrade the clear coat found on bronze plates and gain access to the copper mineral beneath the coating by migration from under the plate.

Granite, while a natural occurring stone, can be affected by some of the same villains. Mineral salt content in water as well as extreme variations in temperature across the polished surface of granite can bring about severe changes in its presentation and beauty.

Harsh chemicals can degrade the clear coat found on bronze plates and gain access to the copper mineral beneath the coating by migration from under the plate.

This stimulates corrosion leading to a Verde color while facilitating the breakdown of the protective finish.

Common Damage The more frequently observed and troubling damage to these materials is hard water mineral deposits seen as a white film buildup that occludes the beauty beneath. In the case of bronze plaques, mineral salts from irrigation sources and UV degradation of the clear protective finishes found on these plates can result in a Verde or green corrosion.

www.iccfa.com

Nature’s Fault

by Barry Feinman

Restoring the Beauty of Your Cemetery Markers

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JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI

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IT’S NOT ALL MOTHER NATURE’S FAULT

We’ve all seen a copper penny in a wishing well or fountain that has developed a green, crusty corrosion or buildup on its surface. In fact, years ago, I was told that Caesar’s Palace’s maintenance folks would extract the many coins found in the fountains. But before they could roll the pennies into a bank sleeve, they had to chemically soak them to remove the crusty nodules from the surface. I know this to be true as I was the one to supply them with the solution.

Calcium Deposits All water is composed of minerals. These minerals and their Parts-Per-Million (PPM) concentration in water affect its taste and leave their mark elsewhere. When we see a white film deposit built-up on our pool tiles, shower heads, vanities, windows, and grave markers, it is calcium, a salt that will build up overtime as water is deposited and evaporates.

Keep in mind that calcium is a rock mineral and will return to its natural state given the chance.

The source of water impacts the hardness of the calcium deposit. If water is from a city source, a ground aquafer, mountain stream, or a well, they directly affect the ability to remove the calcium. In fact, and I have experienced this, calcium deposits at a memorial park on one side of a highway were easily removed while those on the other side were almost impossible to remove all due to the difference in water source.

Calcium is a salt and, as such, contains chlorine.

It is very acidic to substrates including metals, glass, stone, and cement. Left to linger, it will facilitate the breakdown of these surfaces. Chlorine will create a very strong bond with metals and cleaning with water alone does not break these bonds nor remove these salts.

Best Practices Available solutions for families are limited. Park owners want to be sure that anything a family does to a marker 32 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

won’t cause collateral adjacent damage, such as the killing of grass or unsightliness for other visiting families.

To achieve the desired results, one needs to break down the composite mineral buildup using safe available acids such as Acetic or Citric acid.

Among solutions available and found on Google searches are acid washes usually containing some percentage of muriatic or hydrochloric acid and vinegar (Acetic acid) to address hard water and stains; biological cleaners for the cleaning of stone; and mineral-oil based conditioners to help revitalize or optically enhance bronze plates.

Unfortunately, each of the above solutions carries with it a set of issues in the long run. Keep in mind, acids can only affect the surfaces they can touch; therefore, the removal of heavy or thick calcium may require the use of abrasive materials.

Working in concert, the acid breaks down the deposit while the abrasive safely removes the layer exposing a new layer until all is removed. This is particularly important when addressing a bronze marker as we do not want to compromise the clear protective finish.

Educating your staff and families on proper marker care and getting them started early will ensure happy families, while also helping to maintain the beauty and sales ability of your properties.

Barry Feinman is President of Barry’s Restore It All Products and chief restoration expert at Restoration ArTechs, Inc. Carlsbad, CA. He has been a leader in the field of surface restoration for over the past 25 years with clients among cemetery, architectural, commercial and government entities including national cemeteries, Golden Gate Bridge Authority, the U.S. Naval Academy, and the American Battle Monuments Commission. His field expertise has led to the development of safe, proven and consumer-friendly DIY cleaning kit solutions for stone, metals, glass, tile and more found at www.barrysrestoreitall.com. He can be reached for consult at 760-846-3323.

www.iccfa.com

Registration is Now Open!

The ICCFA is preparing to make a big splash in the city of fountains in 2023—and we want you to join us! Save the date for four days of networking and education at the 2023 ICCFA Annual Convention & Exposition in Kansas City, Missouri. Register today at iccfa.com/annual!

May 16–19, 2023

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Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall…

by Rolf Gutknecht

Is Your Business the Fairest of Them All? I DON’T KNOW TOO MANY PEOPLE who really like pictures of themselves. “Oh, I look too fat, too old, too…whatever!” Personally, I even hate hearing my own voice on radio or in recordings. I think I sound goofy and inarticulate; and anyone who’s ever seen themselves on television (not including actors, of course) gets it from all sides. We simply don’t like seeing ourselves as we suspect other people see us.

Oddly enough, we’re the same way when it comes to our businesses. We’d just as soon not think about what we really “look like” to outsiders. The truth might be just too upsetting. But the truth always wins out. So, what is the truth we must all face as professionals? What’s the best mirror we can hold up to see ourselves most clearly?

34 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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A few years ago, our agency was asked by an industry associa7. How is your company meaningfully different? tion to provide consulting services to their members. We found that How are you different, not “better” from competitors in ways that we could do that most effectively by sending anyone who sought prospective consumers can see? Are you sure? And I don’t mean, our consultation a 12-point questionnaire about their business.

“We have three hearses and other firms have two” or “Our caskets/ It was surprising how challenging it was for many to answer the urns come in 70 styles; other firms only have 50 styles” or “We have most basic questions about their own five onsite columbaria and other cemebusiness’s strengths and weaknesses. We teries have just two.” I mean, what really Once you strip away quickly realized that this was the mirror! differentiates you? What is it that ONLY This questionnaire, if taken seriously, will you can say? Once you strip away everyeverything that you and force anyone involved in the marketing thing that you and your competitors all activities for your firm to look inward do, what is it that makes you different … your competitors all do, honestly and be unafraid of the answers. and relevant? what is it that makes you I offer these same questions to you to ponder, with respect to your own com8. List all the ways prospects can different … and relevant? pany. But to do it properly, you cannot find out about you right now. be superficial in your answers. You must Is that sufficient for your growth plans? dig as deep as you can. And if you can What do you believe needs to be done to only come up with the “obvious answer” or draw a complete blank, grow your visibility and awareness? (i.e., more commitment to martake that as a sign that there’s work to be done. keting activities and spending; creating more impactful messaging; Ready? No cheating … growing your business development team; joining national/state/local associations; creating relationships with groups like hospice; etc.).

1. What business do you see yourself in?

It sounds obvious, but consider, for example, Domino’s Pizza. It doesn’t say it’s in the pizza business; it’s in the business of feeding hungry people fast. Or Nike isn’t in the sportswear industry; it brings inspiration and innovation to every athlete to reach their full potential; Apple isn’t about computers but about tools that let people be more connected and creative. The words you use are critical.

So what business are you really in?

2. What or who is your major source of business?

Do you want to expand? (e.g., residents within 5 miles but you want them from 10 miles out; B2B —single rooftop funeral homes to multi-rooftops).

9. Where do you feel you fall short in your marketing efforts?

Is it your messaging? Lack of consistency? Wrong location? Limited marketing budget? Trouble identifying appropriate marketing channels? Need a marketing agency?

10. What marketing activity/effort has worked best for you?

Have you tried print mailers, video marketing, social media posts, advertising, etc.?

11. What has worked the least?

Where are you lacking? Leads, visibility, attendance at events; etc.?

3. What type of customer are you looking to attract?

12. What should people be saying about you?

Is that different from who you’re attracting now? (i.e., from the way they think to what product/service they expect, etc.).

What do you want people to remember or say about your company after “you’re no longer in the room”? How are your reviews on Google and other websites?

On your first read-through of these questions, I’ll bet you said, “Oh, I can answer all that, no problem!” OK, then give it a go. Build up the sweat and answer these 12 questions to the very best of your ability. However you answer it, whatever holes are left unfilled, whatever questions this process brings up as you sit there stumped, you’ll have developed the most important document you need to move your company forward. Because getting to your destination of choice depends fundamentally on knowing where to start and taking your first step.

4. What are your current marketing/business goals?

Do you want to increase sales/number of customers; visibility; first-call preference; give audience a better understanding of what benefits you offer, etc.)?

5. How realistic are those goals? Why? What is going to stop you from getting there? (e.g., increase in competitive activity, financial condition of firm; developing effective marketing programs and messaging; staff; etc.).

6. Who is your major competition? Why them and not others?

Have you researched your competition to know exactly why they are competition? Do you know what their market share is? Have you looked at the types of marketing they do?

SHUTTERSTOCK / REINHOLD LEITNER / PUSHKIN

Rolf Gutknecht is president and CEO of LA ads, a full-service marketing firm specializing in helping success oriented funeral homes, cemeteries, manufacturers, and service providers create compelling marketing messaging and develop impactful marketing programs to grow their business. Rolf can be reached at rolfg@laadsmarketing.com or 800-991-0625 ext. 2. Check out the LAads website by visiting www.laadsmarketing.com.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 35

Prose for the Quietus of Life Wonderful Mother God made a wonderful mother, A mother who never grows old; He made her smile of the sunshine, And He molded her heart of pure gold; In her eyes He placed bright shining stars, In her cheeks fair roses you see; God made a wonderful mother, And He gave that dear mother to me.

—Patrick O’Reilly

36 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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DID YOU KNOW …

Celebrities Who Died in January

1917 1957 William “Buffalo Bill” Gabriela Mistral Cody Chilean poet (Nobel American Wild West Prize for Literature, hunter and showman 1945) dies of (Buffalo Bill’s Wild pancreatic cancer West) EAS_Casket_Ad_2022.pdf dies at 70 67 1 at 2/22/22 3:03

1978 John D. Rockefeller III U.S. billionaire/ philanthropist dies at 71

1982 Paul Lynde American comedian/ actor (The Hollywood Squares) dies of a heart attack at 55

2016 David Bowie English rock singersongwriter (“Fame”; “Ziggy Stardust”) dies of cancer at 69

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BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

Planning for Your Future Starts Today

by Chris Cruger

S

O 2023 IS HERE. T he question is what do we do now? The last few years have seen changes in our profession like never before. What used to take years to change, now takes months or weeks. The process of planning for the future is more important now than ever. We have seen incredible challenges in staffing, rising costs, and rapidly changing consumer attitudes.

If there is anything to be learned over the past few years, it’s that the business is different today than it was three years ago.

You all have seen it; the way we conduct business has simply changed. The pandemic ushered in a new era of funeral service that requires us to plan and adjust quicker than ever before.

Some leaders in our profession have been resistant to change; but operating “the way it’s always been” just isn’t an option.

The bar is being raised each day. For those willing to plan and embrace change, there has never been a better time to be in our profession. For those who are not, I suggest you accelerate your succession plan. If you are not changing with the times, you are being left behind.

A Solid Plan Is Required One of the ultimate mistakes that management and owners in our profession make when putting together their strategic plan is confusing it with other types of planning.

A strategic plan provides the framework to accomplish your company mission with expertise and influence. Your strategic plan is not something done overnight. It takes work and dedication to implement and will encompass a timeframe of three to five years.

Probably the most important part of that plan in the short-term is your operating plan. This is where you will define the who, what, when, and how of your daily operations. It is meant to define how human, financial, and physical resources will be used to accomplish the short-term objectives so that you may accomplish your longer-term strategy.

When designing your operating plan, here are questions to ask yourself: 40 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

Are you planning to adapt and evolve your business or plan your succession because of it? If you are planning to continue to operate in 2023, you must embrace and implement the new changes that are vital to your future business success.

• What are the lessons learned from our

operating and financial history?

Who from the team will be responsible for certain tasks?

How do we assign financial resources within the business to achieve our goals?

What are the potential risks?

What can we do to reduce these risks from coming to fruition?

Think of your business as your football team and think of your operating plan as your playbook. Both are needed to win games. In our case, those games are business successes.

Many of us fall into the trap of thinking everybody within our organization knows what they need to do. I hate to be the one to break the news, but they rarely do. Most people are so wrapped up in their daily routine that they rarely think of much else.

As the business leader or coach, you need to set the direction or call the plays.

• • • •

An organized operating plan is a simple, yet critical step in your success. When crafting your operating plan, take these factors into consideration: Include the key stakeholders in the process from the beginning.

Set all egos aside and be unbiased to what is going on in your business.

Conduct a S.W.O.T. analysis before the planning session (think of this as the pre-workouts that occur before training camp starts).

Define your Goals and establish KPIs that will be used as measurements throughout the year. These should focus on areas that impact your business (customer satisfaction, calls, etc.)

Create a realistic, achievable budget that is broken down by months.

Hold yourself accountable.

Communicate at every level of the process.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help!

• • • •

• • • •

Consumer Behavior’s Impact Consumers have new views on funeral service, and let’s face it, they are not going back to their old ways. The question is, are you planning to adapt and evolve your business or plan your succession because of it? If you are planning to continue to operate in 2023, you must embrace and implement the new changes that are vital to your future business success.

Here’s what consumers expect: A hassle-free website loaded with clear, transparent information (83% of consumers demand this).

Ability to purchase (and pay for) products and services online—70% of all consumers are expecting to see pricing online for casket and services. The consumer is desperate to understand the value proposition. They want to see and understand more than they did previously.

42% expect livestreaming of funeral services as part of your standard offering.

• •

•

www.iccfa.com

Transparency is at the forefront of every customer expectation. Because of the abundance of online information, consumers are now more educated than ever about end-of-life matters. They know what they are looking for and will not stop until they get it. Sometimes for good and sometimes not so much.

Consumers will expect the following from your organization: Transparency in your in-person and online communication.

Integrity and honesty in all you do and say.

Informative and helpful content on your website to assist consumers with preneed planning.

Facilities that provide a space for families to gather in a comfortable, relaxed environment.

• • • •

Picking Up the Pace One of the biggest questions we get is, “Will the transactions continue at this pace?” We will continue to see a significant turnover in ownership into 2023, as we have seen in 2022. Owners are exhausted from these past three years and are looking to retire earlier than expected. The struggles of staffing, technology, and rising prices are simply too much, and interest rates aren’t helping.

Roughly one quarter of today’s owners have said the pandemic has impacted their succession plans. Within this mix, over half are rethinking their entire plan and about 20% have accelerated their succession plan.

If you don’t have these plans, ask for help or start the conversation with your loved ones. If you don’t want to plan for your own benefit, do it for the ones you love and for the benefit of your community and employees.

The ultimate objective coming out of 2022 is to finish strong and set a strong direction going forward. The actual format of the plan and goals are less important than the accountability behind it. Put together a plan that is realistic and one that your team can get behind. Make the plan your playbook for 2023.

Chris Cruger is CEO of The Foresight Companies, a Phoenix-based business and management consulting firm specializing in mergers and acquisitions, valuations, accounting, financing, human resources, and compliance services. He is seen as an innovator and thought leader in the funeral and cemetery industries. Chris can be reached at 800-426-0165 or chriscruger@ theforesightcompanies.com.

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JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 41

BUSINESS MANAGEMENT

How to Make a Great First Impression with Your Funeral Home Guests

by Thomas J. McElheny

E

VERY BUSINESS STRIVES TO MAKE A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION with visitors and potential clients. This is no different in the funeral home industry, where a lot of business comes from word-of-mouth and your reputation in the local community. It’s crucial for funeral homes to make the right first impression on their guests.

In this article, we’ll offer tips to create an experience that will help lead to more referral business for your funeral home.

The Building’s Interior Making a positive first impression starts with the funeral home itself. Help put visitors at ease by creating a calm, welcoming atmosphere in the building’s interior.

Being out in nature can reduce stress and be uplifting for people. Wherever possible, bring aspects of Mother Nature into your funeral home design. That might involve potted plants, landscape paintings, a mini water fountain, pleasant smells, natural flooring, or shades of green in your furniture or wall décor.

Take down any dark and heavy curtains and replace them with a lighter fabric that lets the light in. A few well-placed mirrors

42 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

will reflect natural light throughout the funeral home.

Make your funeral home feel more like a home by including furniture that’s comfortable for all ages and ailments. And offer useful amenities, like free WiFi, educational materials on grief and funeral and estate planning, a clean and fully stocked bathroom, a play area for small children, and a café area with coffee and snacks.

The Building’s Exterior The appearance of your funeral home’s interior is crucial, but don’t forget about the exterior, which guests will see first. For a professional look, you should have:

• An easily visible sign, so guests can find your location

• Ample parking • Sidewalks and steps without any cracks or weeds

• Well-maintained landscaping, grass, and garden

• A clean and inviting entryway

Additionally, consider the appearance and safety of your funeral home’s exterior during different seasons and weather.

Offering Flexibility Another important aspect of making an impression is your team operations and the quality of service you provide. Your funeral home won’t be able to handle every request, but do your best to accommodate the needs of your clients. Some guests may want to: Rearrange the funeral home furniture Incorporate a music selection or a memorial video

• •

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If a customer leaves a bad review and you decide to respond — acknowledge their concerns, apologize, and keep your message short and positive.

• Include different religious services, cultural customs, or

military honors Decorate the facility with flower arrangements and pictures of their loved one Also, try to be accommodating when planning the funeral services. If the friends or family members who are planning the services are local, offer your funeral home as a place to meet and make preparations. Other families may be spread out, so you should have the technology needed for remote planning.

•

A Welcoming Staff This may be an extremely tough experience for guests, so staff members need to be sincere, compassionate, knowledgeable, and helpful. Treat others how you’d want to be treated in this scenario. And the funeral home staff should be well-dressed, prepared, and ready to welcome guests in and escort them to the viewing line.

Remember that potential clients may judge your funeral home and its staff from their very first interactions. The person who answers your phone should be caring, professional, and a helpful resource.

Community and Philanthropic Efforts Now that you and your staff have made a great impression on your funeral home guests, here’s how you can extend these efforts out into your local community and beyond. Getting more involved in the community and giving back is a fantastic way for you to introduce yourself to people. Also, you can volunteer your time by helping to plan local events, such as programs for the elderly, holiday events, or educational seminars at your funeral home.

Your Online Reputation Even before visiting your funeral home, a guest may already have established a first impression through a phone call or your website. Make sure your site is informative and

professional, loads properly, remains up-to-date, and is easy for people to navigate. If you add obituaries to your website, it’s best to upload them as soon as possible.

If people can message your funeral home through your website, an email address, or a LinkedIn or social media account, ensure that these platforms are being protected and monitored. This is another opportunity to show that your funeral home is very knowledgeable and helpful for people in this tough time in their lives.

Online reviews on Google, Yahoo, Yelp, and other listings are another place where people can develop their first impressions of your business. So many of today’s consumers read online reviews, and some of these websites base the order of their listings on which company has the best customer reviews.

Even if a grieving family expressed they had a great experience with your funeral home, it may be difficult to ask them to write a review right away. Once enough time has passed, make a short, polite request via phone or email and offer help by providing a link to your business listing. If a customer leaves a bad review and you decide to respond—acknowledge their concerns, apologize, and keep your message short and positive.

We hope that these recommendations aid you in making great first impressions that last. Your guests are forming their own opinion of your funeral home, and they may tell others about their experience with you, good or bad. Therefore, providing the best possible services for your current client’s loved ones needs to remain a top priority.

Dr. Tom McElheny has served as an elder and director of Christian education for three Sarasota, FL, churches, holds advanced degrees in business and education, and is CEO of ChurchPlaza, www. churchplaza.com.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 43

PLPA UPDATE

Serving Pets Is Serving People

by Lauren Blevins, CCFE, CPLP

I

T HAS BEEN JUST OVER A YEAR since we began the journey of realignment of the Pet Loss Professionals Alliance (PLPA).For the past 12 months, we have worked on our primary goal of more closely aligning the PLPA with ICCFA to the benefit of our membership.

We continue to repurpose our existence to show our industry practitioners that there is a gap in the market in servicing our pet families. We strive to show that by serving our pet families, we reach into new markets, and by doing so we are there to care for even more families in need.

We set three directives at the beginning of this year on how we intended to pursue this type of education for our membership. The first of those goals was to put out three educational webinars—one for each remaining quarter of the year. The first webinar launched in May entitled “10 Creative Ways to Serve Pet Parent Families in Their Loss” and was presented by PLPA Committee member Coleen Ellis, CPLP. Over 50 people registered for the webinar.

In August, Glenda Stansbury presented “Grief is Grief is Grief: Words of Compassion” to a staggering 102 registrants! After each webinar, I called ICCFA Headquarters and asked, “Are these good webinar statistics?” and I received a resounding “yes!”

The last webinar of the year was given by Nicki Wiedeman, CSE, from Dead Ringers called, “Is Bad Phone Etiquette Killing Our Business?” The registration numbers confirm what we expected, that PLPA members are eager for more learning opportunities, so we will continue with our schedule of one webinar per quarter through 2023.

Moving to another accomplishment, we are particularly proud to be adding pet loss curriculum to the ICCFA University in 2023. After conversations within ICCFA leadership and the Executive Committee, we have been given a green light for a PLPA-driven course of instruction that will span 1.5 days. This class will count toward the Certified Pet Loss Professional (CPLP) certificate in the same way ICCFA 44 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

Our true mission is to educate how to serve people in a different way and it turns out you can service our furry and feathered friends and love people and pets all at the same time.

University adds to other professional certifications. We have begun putting together the best possible content and materials and look forward to offering this opportunity in July 2023.

We have also added new members to our working committee, including Andy Lopez and Kim Farris.

As we embark upon the New Year, the PLPA continues to focus on the following directives: To work on a relaunch of our webpage, not only in content but in how it portrays our general purpose and the educational materials that are available to our members.

To capitalize on our opportunity to be part of ICCFA University to bring the prospect of serving pet families to even more members of ICCFA. To evaluate the actions the PLPA has taken to ensure that our content has been practical and helpful for our membership in alignment with our new vision. We intend to do this through different feedback methods that have yet to be determined for each event that we have had.

•

• •

Over the past year I have come to the realization that I can better explain the proverbial “gap” I mentioned earlier by sharing my personal perspective. I am a funeral director, cemeterian, celebrant, and businesswoman. I’m a lifelong learner. I didn’t enter the pet side of our business because I was passionate about pets. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dog, but I entered the pet business because I am passionate about people. I entered the pet business because I am a businesswoman who said there is a gap in service. I entered the pet business because I am a funeral director who felt I can do something about it.

I want to make sure when you think PLPA, and you think animals, you think people. Our true mission is to educate how to serve people in a different way and it turns out you can service our furry and feathered friends and love people and pets all at the same time. Lastly, you can make money doing it.

Help us inform and educate those in our industry who want to serve more people.

We expect over the next 12 months to further that goal through our directives, sharing with people who want to serve people by loving on their pets. I said last year that nothing is inevitable, we must create it.

So, we ask for your continued support for the PLPA, helping us create the opportunity for those who want to serve more families through pets and to provide the resources necessary to fulfill that purpose.

Lauren Blevins, CCFE, CPLP of Williams Funeral Homes & Crematory is the PLPA Committee chair. Lauren is a current member of the ICCFA board of directors, president of the Southern Cemetery, Cremation, and Funeral Association (SCCFA), president of The Cemetery Association of Tennessee (C.A.T), as well as a sitting member of the United Way Board of Maury County, The Youth Educational Foundation, and The Maury Alliance.

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MEMBER NEWS

Lynnwood Unveils Memorial Monument Dedicated to Gold Star Families Hundreds gathered at Lynnwood’s Veteran’s Park for the unveiling of the City’s new Gold Star Families Memorial Monument —a tribute to Gold Star Families and relatives who sacrificed their lives while serving in the military.

Gold Star Families Memorial Monuments are two-sided tributes crafted in black granite that provide Gold Star Families —families who have lost a loved one in military service —a permanent place to pay tribute to their loved ones. The memorial demonstrates Lynnwood’s commitment to veterans and the love one’s they left behind, letting them know the community cares for them and appreciates the family’s enduring sacrifices.

There are a total of 200 Gold Star Families monuments throughout the United States and only three here in Washington State including today’s monument. Lynnwood was the chosen site of the monument after careful consideration between four other cities. The other monuments in Washington are located in Walla Walla, and Forks, respectively.

“It was our past mayor [Nicola Smith] that really got involved in veteran’s initiatives and Hero’s Cafe and our signage in our city that just spoke volumes as to what veterans

46 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

mean to Lynnwood,” Mayor Christine Frizzell told the Lynnwood Times regarding why she believed Lynnwood was the chosen site of the monument over other cities.

The monument was crafted by Oregon

Memorials and paid for entirely by individual donations completely covering the $60,000 price tag. The Foundation raised a little over $70 thousand and plans to use the surplus funds for its next monument. Monica McNeal, Gold Star mother who has been with Gold Star Mothers since 2011, a year after her son, Lance-Corporal Eric Ward, was killed while serving in the United States Marine Corps, told the Lynnwood Times she is proud of the neighboring communities and their donations.

Although all 200 Gold Star monuments across the country are similar on the front-facing panel —reading, “Gold Star Families Memorial Monument a tribute to Gold Star Families and Relatives who sacrificed a Loved One for our Freedom,” the back side panels are all unique. What’s even more unique to Lynnwood’s monument is the use of a process called “glass art,” the first monument to utilize this process, which melts glass straight into the granite resulting in an image that will never fade or be weather-torn, Andy Lopez, USMC Vet and Board Member for Wine Country Marines, told the Lynnwood Times.

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Reflections by Duey Formally Launched Duane “Duey” Williams has announced the national release of his Reflections by Duey displays. These high-resolution backdrop murals are designed to be placed behind the casket or cremation urn in the funeral home during visitations and memorial services to help personalize the event.

Duey is no stranger to funeral service, having graduated from the mortuary studies program at the University of Minnesota more than 40 years ago. After working as a licensed funeral director, he joined Batesville Casket.

Following a 20-year sales career at Batesville, Duey purchased a trade show display business in 2000. Reflections by Duey combines his passion for funeral service with his expertise in the display business.

“As human beings, we select the ideal venue for our weddings, birthdays, or other life celebrations; therefore, the final event of our loved one’s life should echo who they were, what they treasured, and what they will leave behind as a remembrance,” stated Duey. “Creating the picture-perfect setting with a themed lifestyle mural creates a special touch to any funeral service —whether burial or cremation. These murals also make a great personalization element to any funeral home’s service packages.”

Reflections by Duey offers 15 different backdrop designs, with themes that include sports, hobbies, patriotism, and other special interests. Each picturesque mural is 8’ x 10’ and is completely portable for easy set-up and storage. Funeral homes can easily add $75–$100 per call through the use of these murals. Given the affordable purchase price to own the displays, the murals can pay for themselves in a very short time!

Duey created his first display murals for funeral homes in the Midwest, shortly after he purchased his display business. However, the demands of running the display company took precedence over the further development of the funeral murals. At the urging of funeral directors, the timing appears right to now expand the Reflections by Duey program.

“Being able to customize the experience for families is what separates the truly innovative firms from all the rest,” stated Brad

Speaks, President and CEO of Speaks Chapels in Kansas City, MO. “We have used these murals for approximately 20 years and feel that our families are very well-served by them.

With multiple scenes to choose from, we can find something that fits almost any family.”

“My heart and soul have always had a soft spot for families and the funeral profession,”

added Duey. “I look forward to renewing my many relationships in funeral service and helping funeral directors to grow their firms’ revenue and family satisfaction through the use of Reflections by Duey murals to personalize funeral services.” Visit reflectionsbyduey. com for more information or call Duey at 913-707-2270.

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 47

MEMBER NEWS

National Guardian Life Insurance Company Commits $100,000 to Establish Scholarships in Memory of Harry Pontone and Mark Hornibrook Through a partnership with Funeral Service Foundation, National Guardian Life Insurance Company (NGL) has announced its commitment of $100,000 to establish two named scholarships in memory of Harry Pontone and Mark Hornibrook.

“Harry and Mark have had a tremendous impact on the funeral service industry, and we are honored to remember and celebrate their legacies through these scholarships,” said Knut Olson, NGL President and CEO. “At NGL, we are focused on helping people and we are passionate about serving those around us. These scholarships further define our commitment to the industry and to the dedicated professionals who serve families every day. We are proud to honor Harry and Mark by expanding the Funeral Service Foundation’s scholarship program for funeral service professionals.”

out the years the company expanded and combined to eventually become the second largest casket company with Harry as the President and CEO. Taking a personal interest in every client, he focused on finding ways to further help them. That desire led him to earn his funeral directors license to better understand the challenges and needs of funeral directors. He instilled his passion to serve others in his sons, with Scott Pontone following in his footsteps as he is now President of Trust 100 and owner of several funeral homes.

“The scholarship from NGL is a wonderful tribute to my father, Harry Pontone, and his love for funeral service. Thank you to NGL for your generosity in providing this scholarship to help new professionals enter this amazing community of caregivers. It warms my heart to know it will carry out his legacy,” said Scott Pontone.

Harry Pontone Memorial Scholarship Fund

Mark Hornibrook Memorial Scholarship Fund

Harry Pontone got his start in the funeral industry when he joined South Brooklyn Casket Company, which was founded by his father Thomas Pontone in 1931. Through-

Mark Hornibrook was a compassionate and intelligent business leader who created industry-defining products and founded companies, including Precoa, one of the fastest growing Preneed companies in America.

As one of the original architects of Preneed, his vision was to create a company that would offer a proactive approach to advanced planning and provide meaningful connection for thousands of families. The scholarship is available for individuals who are committed to advancing the profession and fostering a workplace that puts people first.

“My father valued education and loved this profession. He was dedicated to improving the way funerals are preplanned in America and to fostering a workplace that puts people first,” said Tyler Hornibrook, Vice President, Marketing at Precoa. “We’re grateful to National Guardian Life Insurance Company for its generous commitment to establish an academic scholarship in Mark’s memory. It’s such a meaningful way to carry on his legacy, and

Harry Pontone

48 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

as we continue to attract caring and talented people to this profession, we’ll help build a future Mark would be proud of.”

“Mark was about craftsmanship, he was an architect and he embodied kindness,” said Cameron Black, NGL Vice President of Sales and Business Development. “As people are continuing to grow in this profession, that’s what we want to be carried on—that’s what this scholarship is made for. It’s made to bring leadership and passion into a profession that impacts so many different people in so many different ways. It’s truly an honor for NGL to recognize Mark and have his legacy live on forever.”

“I am personally grateful and privileged to be part of an amazing organization that is honoring two longtime pillars in the funeral service industry,” said Jennifer Kaset, NGL Regional Vice President, Sales. “These scholarships will continue to carry out the legacies of Mark Hornibook and Harry Pontone and extend their passion for the funeral profession. They impacted immeasurable lives and through these named scholarships they will continue to enhance lives and better the funeral profession.”

Mark Hornibrook

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ON THE MOVE Passages International is welcoming Liz Hamilton to its team as a sales representative. Hamilton will be the point of contact for wholesale customers in the Southwest region, including funeral homes, cemeteries, and more. Hamilton is a fully licensed funeral director who entered the funeral field in 2016 in order to support green funeral practices and community-led death care. She began her career in the funeral industry when she worked for a fast-paced funeral home and mortuary in Asheville, North Carolina. During her career there, Hamilton went to mortuary school at Fayetteville Tech Community College and completed her funeral service internship.

Hamilton has been trained as a home funeral guide and served on the board of the National Home Funeral Alliance from 2020 to 2022.

She has given several talks on green funeral practices and home funerals. Hamilton also worked closely with the conservation burial ground in North Carolina. Hamilton moved to Albuquerque, NM in 2021 to work for French Funerals and Cremations. During her career there, she was impressed with the products and mission of Passages. Hamilton is excited to represent the company and looks forward to building relationships with funeral industry professionals in New Mexico, Texas, Colorado, and Arizona.

Nick Gerhart, Chief Innovation Officer at Homesteaders Life Company, announced the promotion of Laurie Covington to senior vice president—Enterprise Strategic Planning. Covington joined Homesteaders in 2012 as director of Application Development and has led a wide range of organizational initiatives including a major shift to the Agile Methodology and more recently, the development of EnGauge CRM where she worked closely with distribution partners. “Throughout our long history, Homesteaders has continued to grow and lead the insurance industry and funeral profession,” said Covington. “I’m thrilled and

“We take a strategic approach to developing your succession plan.”

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excited to help this great company continue on that journey, working with leadership to continually translate our vision and purpose into action.” Covington succeeds Kim Medici Shelquist. Shelquist is retiring from the role of Senior Vice President —Planning and Development after 13 years with the company.

Robert Heins has been promoted to Regional Vice President, Sales at National Guardian Life Insurance Company (NGL). Heins joined NGL in 2006 as a processing representative and has learned about pre-need and enhanced his expertise through a variety of partner and agent-focused roles during his career. In his new role as regional vice president, Sales, Heins will focus on developing and enhancing pre-need business development opportunities with NGL’s marketing organizations, independent agents and agencies. He will work closely with Cameron Black, vice president, Sales and Business Development as he assists NGL’s Marketing Partners in growing their pre-need sales. “During his sixteen-year tenure at NGL, Rob has continually embodied and demonstrated NGL’s core values of integ-

rity, dependability, collaboration, compassion and growth. He is always focused on the evolving needs of our partners and finding solutions to help them achieve their goals and overcome challenges. I’m excited to see him transition into the Regional Vice President role and look forward to providing support as he builds new relationships and strengthens existing ones,” said Black.

Steve Lynch has joined Milestone Funeral Partners after having spent over 33 years in finance, accounting and business development, specifically in the deathcare industry. As the new vice president of finance, Steve is responsible for all facets of financial analysis and reporting including internally to managing partners, externally to investors, and in unison with our business development efforts when collaborating with future partners. Steve started his career in the deathcare industry in 1988, after studying Accounting at the University of Notre Dame. He spent 26 years with Stewart Enterprises, starting as a staff accountant and moving through the organization in a variety of roles including acquisition manager, controller, director of growth, JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 49

MEMBER NEWS

director of administration, operations vice president, and chief financial officer.

Graystone Associates, Inc.® announces changes to its leadership team. This includes the retirement of Mark Groeneman, principal and managing partner and the inclusion of Scotty Payne and Kyle West as principals in Graystone ownership.

Current principals Scott Newton, President, and Darrell Simpson, Principal & Sr. Account Manager continue in their roles. Mark joined Graystone in 2005. He quickly advanced to a principal and owner by 2006. His impact at Graystone helped form the direction and growth of the company. His expertise in human resources and personnel development led to Graystone’s industry leading, proprietary professional development suite of

offerings. This includes more than 60 formal training modules and trademarked training concepts combined. Mark worked closely with clients delivering staff training and management development in a classroom environment as well as one-on-one. While Mark retires as a full-time Graystone employee, he plans to continue with the organization on a part-time basis for the foreseeable future.

Graystone welcomes his contribution, in an evolving form, to the company’s continued success. New to the team of principals are Scotty Payne and Kyle West. Both come from leadership roles at Graystone, as senior account managers and trainers/account managers, joining Graystone in 2012 and 2016 respectively.

MERGERS & ACQUISITIONS

Park Lawn Corporation is pleased to announce that it has completed the previously announced acquisition of substantially all of the assets of Muehlebach Funeral Care in Kansas City, MO, Skradski-Pierce Funeral Home in Kansas City, KS, and Assurance Cremation Society in Kansas City, MO (collective-

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ly “Muehlebach”). The Muehlebach acquisition expands Park Lawn’s footprint in the Kansas City metropolitan market through the addition of three stand-alone funeral homes. “We have been serving the greater Kansas City communities for many decades and are excited that our partnership with Park Lawn will allow us to continue to provide personalized service to our families. I am also honored to assume a leadership role in the Kansas City market and look forward to leading Park Lawn’s commitment to compassionate and dignified service,” said Steve Pierce, former owner of Muehlebach. “With the addition of the Muehlebach businesses, Park Lawn has added a premier group which not only embodies the culture and values of Park Lawn, but also strengthens our presence in the Kansas City market,” said J. Bradley Green, Chief Executive Officer. “We are honored to welcome Steve and the Muehlebach teams to the Park Lawn family.”

“On all matters financial, we have the insight.”

— Doug Gober, Partner Talk to Doug about your monetary needs.

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MEMBER NEWS

Foundation Partners Group, a leading provider of innovative deathcare solutions, today announced that it has acquired Solace Crema-

tion, a Portland, OR–based online cremation company serving families in Oregon, California, and Florida. Adding the Solace brand to its existing digital funeral service, Tulip Cremation, acquired in July 2019, extends Foundation Partners’ lead in the direct-to-consumer deathcare market. The company now can offer digital arrangements to nearly 50 million families across the U.S. “Consumer attitudes toward death have changed, and so have their expectations around transparency and service

options,” said Kent Robertson, Foundation Partners Group president and CEO. “Families are purchasing items online that they would have never thought of buying through digital channels five or ten years ago —everything from eyeglasses to cars and now even funeral services. During the COVID-19 pandemic, funeral service providers were restricted from traditional in-person meetings and had to find new ways to make arrangements. This accelerated the move to digital service offerings and reshaped the funeral profession. Just like the trend toward cremation will continue over the next 10 years, we believe the growth of new, contemporary digital services will accelerate as well.” Founded by former Nike executives Keith Crawford and David Odusanya, Solace has experienced double-digit growth since its launch in 2019. “Looking across the landscape of industry players, there was only one organization that got what we got —that the funeral experience needed reimagining,” Crawford said. “Foundation Partners is a team of innovative thinkers, industry experts and inclusive collaborators who are playing the long game and investing in the future of deathcare.”

Matthews Granite, a division of Matthews Memorialization, announced it has acquired a major granite production facility in Elberton, GA. The plant is configured with a full complement of granite production equipment but was previously vacant. Matthews will utilize the facility to increase overall production capacity and reduce lead times for all customers. The new facility enables Matthews Granite to meet the rapid growth in consumer demand for granite memorialization and will help the business grow its production and reduce lead times in several ways: The plant provides additional dedicated manufacturing lines and larger inventory areas, which will help increase product availability and reduce order lead times; the sandblast department will be expanded significantly, increasing capacity and enabling faster turnaround; a larger shipping space will enable faster shipping of completed orders. Matthews has also invested in their existing plants in Elberton, adding a new manufacturing line to produce bases for bronze memorials, greatly increasing Mat-

52 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

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thews’ current capacity for this high-demand product, as well as new equipment to grow production capacity for mausoleums and family estates of all sizes, enhancing Matthews’ industry-leading mausoleum design/construction capabilities.

“We focus on the financial and operational health of your business.”

— Daniel Isard, Founder

Precoa has been named a Top Workplace by The Oregonian and OregonLive for the 11th straight year. Precoa also earned a special award for employee appreciation in the survey of more than 33,000 people conducted by Energage and The Oregonian. The company earned recognition in the “Values” category in 2021. “When you think about what ultimately makes companies great, the answer is people,” Precoa President Michael Hornibrook said. “I’m amazed by the passion, dedication,

Talk to Dan about your business plan.

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Thank you to our 2023 sponsors!

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MEMBER NEWS

and kindness of everyone at Precoa, and it’s a constant reminder that the ultimate purpose of business is to improve the lives of people.”

AWARDS & RECOGNITION

Homesteaders Life Company, a national leader in pre-need funeral funding, has announced the recipients of its annual Homesteaders Heroes awards. The peer-nominated awards recognize employees who support Homesteaders’ mission and values, making a positive impact on the success of the company and its customers. This year there were nearly 50 employees nominated for the awards, with many receiving multiple nominations. An internal selection committee reviewed each nomination to determine a recipient for each category. “Year after year, our Homesteaders Heroes showcase the ‘best of the best’ of our employees,” said Senior Human Resources Generalist Jayne Thovson. “These peer-nominated awards demonstrate how well-respected each recipient is and are a true testament to the quality and dedication of our team.”

Homesteaders Heroes award recipients were

named in five categories: Rising Star Award: Allison Schaeffer, Business Analyst; Innovation Award: Jeff Shepherd, Director – Project Management; Outstanding Teamwork Award: Ariana Rodriguez, Senior Graphic Designer; Inspiring Leadership Award: Jason Richards, Project Manager; Enduring Impact Award: Judy Ralston-Hansen, Executive Vice President – Human Resources.

Everything After is proud to announce that its family-focused aftercare program has earned the prestigious NFDA Innovation Award.

Everything After is the funeral profession’s only estate and grief platform with step-bystep estate plans, therapist-led video content,

and experts on hand to answer questions and provide guidance. Everything After thanks everyone: the association, the judges, funeral home partners, and especially the families they have served for their support.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

The National Park Service (NPS) and the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration (NCA) have added profiles for 20,574 veterans and service members interred in two NPS national cemeteries to the NCA’s Veterans Legacy Memorial (VLM) website. The NPS is the first federal agency to join forces with the NCA on expanding this important online memorial. The new profile pages memorialize 18,752 veterans and service members interred at Andersonville National Cemetery in Andersonville, GA, and 1,822 interred at Andrew Johnson National Cemetery in Greeneville, TN. The pages can now be accessed by family, friends, and the public interested in memorializing these Veterans and sharing lasting memories, tributes, photographs, biographies, and other information to honor their service to the nation. They

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join the nearly 4.5 million profiles already featured on the site memorializing Veterans who rest in VA-managed national cemeteries and VA-funded state, territorial, and Tribal Veterans’ cemeteries. “The National Cemetery Administration is proud to partner with the National Park Service in honoring the Veterans and service members interred in the NPS national cemeteries,” said Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs Matthew Quinn. “As VLM grows, we look forward to the day when all Veterans can be memorialized online, regardless of where they are laid to rest.”

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At The Foresight Companies, our mission is to provide our clients with customized financial and operational solutions.

We deliver results through our passion for the profession and the communities they serve.

theforesightcompanies.com | 800.426.0165

JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 55

NEWS

ICCFA On The Move Darin Drabing, President & CEO of Forest Lawn Memorial-Parks & Mortuaries, recently gave a tour to ICCFA Executive Director Nadira Baddeliyanage and Director of Operations Kirsten Kase sharing the rich history behind the architecture, statuary, and museum at Forest Lawn Glendale. The statue in the background, “For of Such is the Kingdom of Heaven” by Italian sculpture Vincenzo Jerace (Italian: 1868–1947), is a fine example of the art on display. The Forest Lawn Museum at Glendale displays a permanent collection, as well as world-class rotating exhibits.

On Monday, October 24, 2022, ICCFA held a Strategic Planning Meeting at its headquarters in Sterling, VA. ICCFA President Gary Freytag; President-elect Robbie Pape, and General Counsel Poul Lemasters flew in to join ICCFA Executive Director Nadira Baddeliyanage and staff for a day-long planning session to prioritize goals and upcoming ICCFA initiatives. Pictured L-R: Gary Freytag, Nadira Baddeliyanage, Kirsten Kase, and Robbie Pape.

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www.iccfa.com

HURRY! Your Chance to Save On Music & Webcasting Licensing Ends February 1 If you’re looking for the least expensive option for purchasing music and webcasting licenses for your business, you’ll want to purchase your licensing through ICCFA before rates increase February 1. We offer music licensing through ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC for $322 per location and $58 per website address for webcasting licensing.

Any U.S. funeral home, cemetery, crematory, or related funeral service business that plays live or recorded copyrighted music is required to have a current music license. Failure

to do so can result in fines of up to $30,000 for each song infringed. You can easily avoid this costly mistake by staying up to date on your licensing!

Our music license allows a business to play any live or recorded music at that location for any service and our webcasting license allows a business to stream a service worldwide—including the copyrighted music played during the service, on the company’s website without violating copyright laws. Please note that our licensing does not cover the reproduction of any copyrighted music.

For more information on our licensing, what they cover, and to purchase, visit www. iccfa.com/legal/music.

Amplifying Your Voice The ICCFA does what no cemetery or funeral home can do alone: we speak for the entire deathcare profession.

One of the major benefits of ICCFA membership is a year-round presence on Capitol Hill. We monitor all legislative and regulatory activities in Congress, within the Federal agencies, and in the courts. No matter your membership category, what is decided in Washington directly affects how you do business.

Consider a contribution to the ICCFA Government & Legal Fund today and it will pay real dividends tomorrow.

To contribute, make checks payable to ICCFA. Please mention that your contribution is for the Government & Legal Fund.

ICCFA 107 Carpenter Dr. Ste 100 Sterling, VA 20164

The Revolutionary First Call Pouch, Cot Cover, & Pet Carrier Solution

800.645.8966 | www.kanga-woo.com JANUARY 2023 MEMENTO MORI 57

NEWS

I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T

Here’s One New Year’s Resolution You Can Keep New Year’s resolutions can be tough to follow through, but having your identity protected with LifeLock by Norton is an easy New Year’s resolution to keep!

Trusted by 80 million users in more than 150 countries, Norton is a global leader in consumer cyber safety, with award-winning products and services to protect you and your business from identity theft.

LifeLock uses proprietary technology to provide identity threat detection, preemptive alerts, and comprehensive remediation services. ICCFA is proud to offer our members a 35% discount off

their first year of membership.

Terms do apply. You can shop for plans and enroll in minutes, so you can start protecting your identity instantly. You can also receive Norton Security protection for your computer at no additional cost.

To learn more about this membership benefit, and to see other member-only exclusives, visit http://users.iccfa.com, log-in with your e-mail address and password, and click on Member Discount Programs. If you need assistance logging into your ICCFA account, please contact us at 800.645.7700.

Welcome New Members Cemeteries

• Carroll Memory Gardens Carrollton, GA

• Catholic Cemeteries & Crematoria Sydney Olympic Park NSW, Australia

• Hyde Park Historical Society Chicago, IL

Funeral Homes

• Family and Friends Funeral Home, Inc. Wingate, IN

• Ervina White Beauford Funeral Service P.C. Philadelphia, PA

58 MEMENTO MORI JANUARY 2023

• Khadijah Alderman Funeral Service Inc. Philadelphia, PA

• Miles Funeral Homes Holden, MA

• Papan Memorial Berhad Ipoh Perak, Malaysia

• The Family Funeral Home East Orange, NJ

Suppliers

• Paw Prints on Woodland

Pet Loss Professionals Alliance Lakeside, AZ

• Terry Smith Communications Round Rock, TX

• Kodak Alaris

Rochester, NY

• Lasting Impressions Monuments LLC Corpus Christi, TX

• Diamond Elite Merchant Solutions Cranford, NJ

• In Lieu of Flowers Baton Rouge, LA

• Solace Holding Co. Ltd Hamilton, Bermuda

• Kinkaraco Green Funeral Products San Francisco, CA

www.iccfa.com

Knock Out Your New Year’s Resolutions

by Attending DEAD Talks 2023!

The beginning of a new year signals a fresh start and endless opportunities for your personal and professional life. Did you make any New Year’s resolutions for 2023? Maybe you want to read one book per month, or you promised yourself you’d finally run that half marathon that’s been on your bucket list, or you want to volunteer at the animal shelter down the street on a regular basis.

While it’s usually tough to follow through with resolutions, one thing you can promise yourself for 2023 is to learn new sales strategies and ensure that your deathcare business thrives. By attending ICCFA’s annual sales conference DEAD Talks, that’s one resolution you can be sure to keep.

Tailored toward family service counselors and salespeople, DEAD Talks is two and a half days of fast-paced, highenergy educational sessions that empower

attendees with the skills they need to perform better than ever. Whether you’re a seasoned professional with decades of service behind you, or a brand-new leader looking to nail down your personal style, every single attendee will leave DEAD Talks with tangible, practical tips from they can immediately implement into their sales routines.

While the fundamentals of sales and marketing haven’t changed, the way those fundamentals are practiced seems to shift from year to year. Brush up on the basics or get familiar with new techniques with the profession’s leading sales experts and ICCFA. Besides, what better way to begin 2023 than with friends in beautiful Las Vegas? There’s still time to join us on January 11–13! Don’t let your sales goals get lost in the shuffle of unfulfilled resolutions. Register for DEAD Talks 2023 today!

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CALENDAR OF EVENTS May 16–19, 2023

2023 ICCFA Annual Convention & Exposition Loews Kansas City Hotel & Kansas City Convention Center, Kansas City, MO Visit https://iccfa.com/annual/ for more information

June 25–27, 2023

Southern Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association State/Regional Convention Park Vista Hotel, Gatlinburg, TN For Information contact: Cindy Foree, SCCFA/CAT Executive Director, (615) 7149605, TheSouthern.office@gmail.com

Jan. 30–Feb. 1, 2023

33rd Annual Ski Seminar MKJ Marketing Ritz-Carlton Bachelor Gulch, Beaver Creek, CO Visit www.mkjmarketing.com/seminars for more information

ADVERTISER INDEX American Cemetery/Mortuary Consultants Inc. (ACMC) ���������57

J3TechSolutions ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� 1

Answering Service for Directors (ASD) �����������������������������������������45

Johnson Consulting Group ����������������������������������������������������������������� 5

Bancorp �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������41

Kanga-Woo �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������57

C&J Financial, LLC ���������������������������������������������������������������������������� C2

Kinkaraco ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������28

Continental Computer Corp. ������������������������������������������������������������� 3

KMI Columbaria ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������29

Custom Air Trays ��������������������������������������������������������������������������������54

Kryprotek ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������25

Eickhof Columbaria, Inc. �������������������������������������������������������������������19

McKleskey Mausoleums ���������������������������������������������������������������������55

Ensure-A-Seal ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������38

National Guardian Life Insurance Company (NGL) ���������������������37

Flowers for Cemeteries �����������������������������������������������������������������������45

National Mortuary Shipping (NMS) �����������������������������������������������52

The Foresight Companies, LLC. �������������������������������������������������������49

Nomis Publications �����������������������������������������������������������������������������45

The Foresight Companies, LLC. �������������������������������������������������������51

Obermayer �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������56

The Foresight Companies, LLC. �������������������������������������������������������53

Payment Books �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������60

The Foresight Companies, LLC. �������������������������������������������������������55

PlotBox �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������15

funeralOne ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ C4

Premier Columbaria ���������������������������������������������������������������������������60

Holland Supply Inc. �����������������������������������������������������������������������������50

Regions Bank ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������11

ICCFA ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������33

SuperNova �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������24

ICCFA ���������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������57

Supply Link—Multiview ���������������������������������������������������������������������10

Inman Shipping Worldwide ���������������������������������������������������������������51

U.S. Metalcraft �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������45

International Memorialization Supplier Association (IMSA) ���� C3

The Wilbert Group �����������������������������������������������������������������������������21

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www.iccfa.com

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RESOURCE OF FUNERAL AND CEMETERY SUPPLIER COMPANIES

Since 1976 IMSA has been empowering cemetery and funeral service providers by advocating for unity with various industry associations and ensuring greater access to supplier products and services. Our organization of companies is committed to supplying quality products and services to the funeral profession while providing the leading best practices and standards in the industry.

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