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IT DIRECTOR Hey Bondies! This week we’re giving you a quick update on the online presence of BUSA, this includes some exciting developments from the BUSA committee as we wind the final semester of our term! To encourage the online presence of our fabulous university clubs and societies BUSA has acquired a specialised server where we can host your website! Applications for an account and hosting on the server should be made through the BUSA treasurer during funding applications. We’ve seen a fantastic update and increased online presence of our FSAs as well. There’s the brilliant new revamp of the HSA that is now the SDSA site, featuring online versions of their publication Atlas. The BSA has some new online features in the works such as online Financial Calculator hire and more interactive Business competitions. In the next fortnight you’ll probably come across the LSA site as they move towards their elections. Just to clarify the first FSA to hit 1000 likes on Facebook was the BSA, no bias just facts. The new BUSA website isn’t completely finished but we have brought it online so that the new Core Curriculum information and Class rep guidelines are easily accessible as the new system kicks off. If you are ever in need of information on the old site while we transition into the new site, the old content can be accessed at www.bondstudents. com. However the committee meeting minutes are always completely up-to-date on busa.com.au to maintain accountability and transparency. From this week onwards busa.com.au will be your

number one stop to locate important information regarding BUSA elections in semester 143, by the time Scope is published you will be able to find the Position Descriptions and contact details on the new website! The next fortnight will see the launch of updates to the Sporting and Cultural clubs sections. If you are an executive member of a club or society please make sure the details listed on the old site are correct and email through any changes to itmultimedia.busa@ bond.edu.au ☺ In the pipeline we also have a room booking system for the Undergrad Lounge, Postgrad Lounge and Club Hub, currently room bookings can be made by emailing busa@bond.edu.au. As well as an online ‘Brasserie Specials’ section so you won’t have to leave your room before making a decision as to whether or not the stroll to the Bra is worth it! Have an awesome week and enjoy the week as Alumni flood campus in the lead up to Grad celebrations!

Michaela


Chairs vs Tables

I

by Patrick Slattery

n the pages of history there are an abundance of perspectives with regards to some of the greatest conflicts never to be resolved. Amongst these conflicts is the battle for religious uniformity, the battle for resources and the battle for gender equality, but of all these conflicts; the greatest and most neglected of all is the battle between chairs and tables. Since Jesus Christ was first betrayed at the last supper, chairs and tables have been a crucial element for matters of business, faith, social life and frolicking. While a chair has the irrefutable supremacy in its abilities to accommodate a man or a woman (or a man and a woman) atop its majestic platform made from a material of your choosing, the table’s ergonomically stupendous advantage is its capability to accommodate the abiotic facets that man or woman deem fit to accompany the synchronous table and chair experience. This may refer to an impressive symbolic pattern of seashells or (in the case of deceased biotic facets) a roasted rack of lamb with light seasoning

to induce an orgasmic taste explosion. Whatever your back-story, a standard or profound use may be found from each of these god-like creations. The true question however; which is superior? Well, it’s certainly possible that a table may be present in any situation without the support of a chair (although it would spruce up the occasion if there were one). However, historically, the presence of a lone chair is perceived as being odd and perhaps even detrimental to the subject of the chair (i.e. the man or woman utilising the chair’s goodness). Additionally, in a nuts and bolts physical competition of dominance, the table is the undeniable winner. One cannot bear a table on a chair. In contrast, one can stack chairs on tables or even utilise the table as a chair whilst stacking chairs on top of it. Even better, if you were to sit on a chair that had been placed on a table, you would not only enjoy the full force of the chair itself, but the heightening sensation of the table would deliver a cocktail medley of chair and table virtues. It may also procure the seater a sense of


safety and empowerment, having being raised further from the dull dirt of the earth. Regardless of the table’s available option of chair substitution, we can never forget where we come from. No table; big or small, mahogany or stainless steel will replace the therapeutic significance of a chair. A chair of sufficient design has the capacity not only to shelter the gluteus maximus, but also to assist the growing recovery of the muscle tissue after leg day. Dating back many years, chairs have always had an impact in culture. European monarchs owned chairs of pompous aristocratic design that their peasant counterparts seldom received the opportunity to enjoy. One example is the lounge and dining chairs of the British royal family. Not what you were expecting? Rule number one of chair law: never mistake a throne for a chair. While they both serve the similar purpose of accommodating a seater, a throne has an underlying malicious purpose to deceive the seater into a false sense of security. King Richard the third had a throne and only after two years in the job he was killed at the battle of Bosworth Field. This is not a coincidence. The throne was the principal instigator. While it is intrinsically impossible for a chair to serve a malicious purpose, a table is capable of such things. While a chair can only be accommodating to matter of the biotic kind, a table can accommodate objects of destruction that span far beyond those of their biotic counterpart. For example, guns may be rested on tables prior to a bank robbery. Similarly, poisons may be arranged in a

specific order of chemical composition atop the table. This is not possible with a chair. Should a chair then reign superior? In the politics of law-making, a general consensus will push for legislation. Similarly, a writer alone cannot determine the power ranking of two practical inanimate objects in society. The people must decide where the fates of the table and the chair lie. While you ponder this, indulge yourself with a further ponder: next time you seat yourself and/or accommodate the abiotic facet of your choosing at the benefit of the chair and table experience, remember the importance of chairs and tables. Remember their historical importance. Remember that even in the Stone Age, men and women were arranging stones so that they may accommodate the gluteus neanderthalis of the Neanderthal, or the roasted meat of the sabre-tooth tiger they had recently killed for optimum nutritional value. Remember your origins. Remember that Jesus loves you. Fin.


Wallabies v France Recap by Michaela Orsmond A great night out for the Wallabies including peak performances from Hooper, The Honey Badger and Folau. Not so great though for the three minute captain Stephen Moore, would have been nice to see more of Moore. Les Bleus were anything but tres magnifique, their scrum even more so, just completely out classed in the forwards, with the Wallabies completely dominating. With everything settled up front the Wallaby backs looked brilliant. With so much supremacy they were able to flaunt the moves that coaches never envision leaving training camp. By the time Beale and McCabe joined their comrades as subs their only job was to rub salt into the fleshy French wounds. The French fired in small patches but overall not enough to present any real challenge to the Wallabies who seemed to have revived some of their long lost mojo. They will need to find a miracle or two if they want to avoid only seeing red this season! The Wallabies look very promising for their next Bledisloe Cup encounter especially seeing the All Blacks taken to the wire by our beloved Tea-Drinkers in New Zealand over the weekend! Sacre Bleu, Saturday summons.


week 5 Photographers: Jude Gur

Events: HMSA’s The Physical



Scope Magazine Week 5