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3700 N. Halsted St. #2-S Chicago, IL 60613 773.975.0264 Editorial: Advertising:

EDITORIAL Mike Macharello: Publisher Rick Karlin: Editor Dallas Zabran: Production

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photographerS Eamonn Sexton Ken Brown, KAB Photography Oliver Aguilar

COVER Provided by Special Events Management

editorial contributors Gregg Shapiro, Ace Magyar, Parker Carr Sue Deaunym, Anita Taylor, Michael Elder

VIEW boiMAG ONLINE AT: www. BOI Magazine, Inc. © 2000−2014 All rights reserved For our online readers, blue underline text are active links


Pride Parade

Chicago's 45th Annual Pride Parade Sunday June 29 The parade will feature 200 registered entries including floats, decorated vehicles, performance groups, two marching bands and walking contingents. The entries represent community organizations, businesses, governmental officials and individual community members .

Step Off: Broadway & Montrose at

noon. It takes about 2 ½ hours for the last float to depart from the line-up point. The parade itself, takes about 3 hours.

Line Up: Along Broadway (both the

east and the west curb lanes), from north side of Montrose to Wilson; and along Montrose (both the north and south curb lanes from west of Broadway to Clark) and along Sunnyside from east of Broadway to Sheridan. Route: From Broadway and Montrose, south on Broadway; then south on Halsted; east on Belmont; south on Broadway; east on Diversey to Cannon Drive for dispersal.   Crowd estimates each year are in the hundreds of thousands. Spectators will be required to remain behind barricades along the sidewalks.


There will be six cross-over streets for pedestrians; Montrose, Irving Park, Addison, Grace, Roscoe, and Wellington. Street Closures on parade day include: the assembly area beginning at 10:30 a.m. Along the parade route cross streets will close as the parade travels south down the route. CTA buses along these streets may be rerouted. Check   Parking Restrictions: Both the assembly area and parade route will be posted with temporary signs indicating "No Parking On Sunday June 29 - Both sides of the street, from 5:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m." Towing begins at 5:00 a.m.  

Additional Parking Restrictions:

There will be additional parking restrictions on the following streets: Montrose: Greenview to Hazel. Broadway: Leland to Grace and Belmont to Diversey.

Sunnyside: Broadway to Sheridan Halsted: Grace to Belmont Belmont: Sheffield to Broadway Diversey: Broadway to Cannon/ Sheridan Cannon: Diversey to Fullerton Addison: Broadway to Sheffield Waveland: Halsted to Broadway Grace: Halsted to Fremont Clifton: Montrose to Sunnyside


Open containers containing alcoholic beverages are illegal on the streets and sidewalks. If cited you will be subject to receiving a $1000 fine from the Chicago Police Department.  Due to limited parking and street closures public transportation is suggested. Lake front bus routes, including the 146 and 151, provide convenient access from the north, the Gold Coast/North Michigan Avenue and downtown to areas east of the parade route. CTA Red Line stations along the parade route include; Wilson, Sheridan, Addison and Belmont. The Belmont station and the surrounding area tends to become the most crowded, so you are encouraged to consider watching the parade from the other parts of the route. Extra service will be provided on the Red Line on parade day.  

Other Useful Info:

Portable Rest rooms are stationed along both the parade line-up street and the parade route. Included at several locations are rest rooms for the physically challenged. For the physically challenged, wheel chair users, seniors or anyone who needs or wants more space, watching from Diversey is suggested. Traditionally this area of the parade route has fewer spectators than other sections of the parade route. Â Cooling buses will be located on Halsted between Belmont & Clark, Irving Park between Clark and Broadway, Addison in front of the 19th District police station and at Broadway at Belmont. For more information call 773-348-8243 or go to the official site:


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Pride Parade Grand Marshall WILL SHERIDAN

Will Sheridan has been announced as one of the grand marshals for Chicago’s 45th annual Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade. Sheridan, a former college basketball star came out privately during his freshman year at Villanova. He also came out to his parents months later. His teammates at Villanova knew about his homosexuality, but kept a “wall of silence” opting for team unity.  He briefly played in the Italian Basketball League. After retiring from basketball at 26, he did an interview with Dana O’Neil in a lengthy ESPN story, “Will Sheridan: I’m Proud of Who I Am”, in which he came out publicly. He is also known for his appearance on “Outside the Lines”. Upon returning to the United States he served as the nightlife/music scene writer for Source Magazine before beginning his career as a performing artist. His start as a musician was his show “The Will to Win” at Spark Center in New York. He

released his first EP Ngoma (meaning music in Swahili language). He was inspired by a visit to Nairobi and his music is a mix of house, hip hop and African rhythms. His first music video from the EP was “Welcome to the Jungle”. His follow-up single was “302”, (the area code for Bear, Delaware where he grew up). His new album and video was released last spring. In an interview with Outsports, he said many of his songs; most notably “You Know I Got It” and “Set Fire in the Streets” contained lyrics about homosexuality prior to coming out publicly He started a non-profit organization that finds, funds and supports orphans who have aged out of government and church assistance in Kenya. He does speaking engagements at colleges and youth groups; speaking about his life as an openly gay athlete and musician and also works closely with Athlete Ally, GLSEN, Out Music and the Pride Network. boiMAG 13

Memories of Pride Chicago 45 th Annual Pride Parade

With more than 30 Pride parades under our community’s belt, we thought it would be interesting to ask folks their memories of parades over the years. We’ll start with three folks who have been there since the first parade.

Gary Chichester activist & event

coordinator Resident of Chicago area All my life Current residence Buena Park First year watching parade Never watched, I always in it. First year participating in parade The first march in 1970 Favorite parade float/contingent It changes from year to year. Having the Stanley Cup in the parade was pretty impressive. Favorite parade related memory Applying for the permit of the first parade in 1971 How many parades have you attended? All but two. I was in New York for the 25th anniversary of Stonewall and participated there. The other one I was in Turkey on business and had my own parade in Ephesus (I attached a pic, perhaps a first in Ephesus!)

William Kelley activist and lawyer Resident of Chicago area 55 years Current residence Rogers Park First year watching parade 1970 First year participating in parade 1970

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Favorite parade float/contingent The first time a gay band took part or the ROTC, and any spectacular float with scantily clad but well-behaved musclemen. Favorite parade related memory Being in the first one and realizing that it was the first. How many parades have you attended? Participated in every one.

Richard Pfeiffer Pride Parade

Coordinator Resident of Chicago area all my life Current Residence East Lakeview First year watching parade 1970 (the first year of the parade) First year participating in parade 1971 (the second year of the parade) Favorite parade related memory There were several, but the two biggest were: in the 1970’s when PFLAG participated for the first time. Spectators, some of whom had been rejected by their own parents, were applauding so loudly that it reverberated up and down the parade route ! The second was in the 1980’s when, immediately after the AIDS crisis hit, several groups of people with AIDS participated for the first time. There was a wave of applause from spectators up and down the parade route, expressing their love and support. How many parades have you attended? All of them CONTINUED ON FOLLOWING PAGE >>

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Memories of pride William “Rubberwilli” Schendel coMary Morten President Morten Group,

owner, chief operating officer MIR

Executive Producer/Host The Gay Agenda

Resident of the Chicago area 14 years

Resident of the Chicago area all my life

Current residence Uptown

Current residence Rogers Park

First year watching parade 2000

First year watching parade 1983

First year participating in parade 2001

First year participating in parade 1986

Favorite parade float/contingent PFLAG, Dykes on Bikes or the Jewel shopping cart

Favorite parade float/contingent PFLAG Favorite parade related memory Having major parties at Renae Ogletree's after the parade.

Jerry Pritikin photographer & activist Resident of Chicago area 55 years Current residence Near North Side First year watching parade San Francisco 1970, Chicago 1985

Favorite parade-related memory Being in the parade for the first time on the Chicago Eagle float - the roar of the crowd was amazing! How many parades have you attended? 10 or 11

Pate’ Bartender Doggie Super-Hero Resident of the Chicago area all of my life Current residence Uptown

First year participating in parade 2012, I was on the Chicago Cubs Float.

First year watching parade before the creation of Fire

Favorite parade float/contingent Chicago Cubs. They were the first MLB team to take part in a Pride Parade and have an “Out at the Ballpark” event for gays starting back in 2000.

Favorite parade float/contingent Foxy's

Favorite parade related memory In 2009 I took a photo of the group marching for Roosevelt University and one of the marcher’s was holding a sign, “I’m The President” along with others. How many parades have you attended? First was in S.F. in 1970

Favorite parade related memory bartending during the mayhem of the parade, I remember waiting on a very quiet, courteous young man all afternoon who later turned out to be Jeffrey Dahmer. Don't know that it’s my favorite, but it certainly stands out! How many parades have you attended? bartended 10 Parades at The Closet, another 10 at Cocktail, and rode on floats or motorcycles for the rest! CONTINUED ON FOLLOWING PAGE >>

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Memories of pride Craig Gernhardt son of Gay Chicago Magazine founder Ralph Paul Gernhardt Resident of the Chicago area 34 years

How many parades have you attended? Stopped counting after 25.

Joey McDonald NFP management & health care

Current residence Rogers Park

Resident of the Chicago area 49 years

First year watching parade 1980

Current residence Uptown

First year participating in parade 1980 - the streets still had cars parked on each side of the street.

First year watching parade 1980

Favorite parade float/contingent A little biased here, the Gay Chicago Magazine floats.

Favorite parade float/contingent Rod’s from Madison used to do phenomenal floats

Favorite parade related memory In the mid-1990’s Gay Chicago had a train float that broke down nearly every time it stopped.

Favorite parade related memory 1981 - My family saw me on the news

How many parades have you attended? More than 25, the last few years I’ve stayed in Rogers Park or the Pride North festival.

Penny Nichols quilt instructor, retired

Robert Castillo member Chicago Gay

Resident of the Chicago area 55 years

First year participating in parade 1980

How many parades have you attended? 33 graphic artist

and Lesbian Hall of Fame

Current residence Evergreen Park

Resident of the Chicago area 46 years

First year watching parade 1985

Current residence Chicago

First year participating in parade 1985

First year watching parade Mid-80s

Favorite parade float/contingent Horizons, which is now Center on Halsted)

First year participating in parade 1991 with Northeastern Illinois University’s GLA Favorite parade float/contingent: ALMA, Amigas Latinas & Affinity Favorite parade related memory 2008 - My late husband John Pennycuff and I riding in the back of a convertible after we had just got married a few days earlier in San Francisco.

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Favorite parade related memory I remember feeling shame the first year right alongside pride-it was a weird, struggling time for me. How many parades have you attended? 2

Pride Parade Drinking Crackdown: $1,000 Fines for Having LIQUOR If you’re heading to the Pride Parade on Sunday, June 29th, you might want to swap your beer for a water bottle. Cmdr. Elias Voulgaris, who heads the Town Hall police district, said officers will be targeting public drinking along the parade route. “It’s important for everybody to know that those caught drinking on the public way will be given a citation,” Voulgaris said, “and because it’s in the vicinity of the parade, it’s a $1,000 (maximum) fine.” City Hall passed an ordinance last year increasing fines for public drinking and public urination within 200 feet of a parade route. Fines now range from $500 to $1,000. When the ordinance passed, Ald. Tom Tunney (44th) said he wasn’t worried about a police crackdown impacting Pride festivities as much as they did at the South Side Irish Parade. “I really defer to the police on how they manage that and figure out what’s in the best

value of their time in the limited resources we have,” he said at the time. “He’s supportive of zero tolerance for drinking on the public way, and he thinks this increased fine is a good deterrent for that,” Tunney spokeswoman Erin Duffy said. Voulgaris promised his officers would target the parade route, which will run from Montrose Avenue to Diversey Avenue along Broadway and Halsted Street, on June 29. boiMAG 25

Motor Mouth CAR-TUNES By Parker Carr

You have no idea how hard it is to find people in the GLBT community that care much about cars. I tried talking to Paula Sinclaire about cars the other day and she said, “You know Parker, it was so nice out yesterday, I drove around with my top down.” I said, “Paula, I didn’t know you had a convertible.”   She said, “I don’t!”   Well, after that I went home and discovered which is a gay gear-head’s wetdream come true. The writers know what they’re talking about and even research which auto companies treat their GLBT employees well (good news, almost every one of them except Kia and Hyundai). They do it all with panache and a great sense of humor. The site even has an article on which are the gayest cars. That led me down a rabbit hole of Google searches and I found all sorts of lists of the supposed gayest cars around. Some of the lists were tongue in cheek, some were serious and some were even a little homophobic (I’m talking to you listed the gayest cars as; Chrysler Sebring, The VW Cabrio, VW Golf (which may have unintentionally had the first ad featuring a gay couple; two guys driving a Golf stop and pick up a cool retro chair from the trash. If I remember correctly one even put his hands on his hips.), Saturn SCI, Saab 900 (it came complete with a pair of gloves for changing tires and a purse in which to store the flat. Okay, maybe it was a plastic bag, but it looked like a huge purse.), Mazda Miata, Jeep Wrangler, BMW 3 series convertible and the VW Jetta.’s choices for the most popular lesbian limos have one thing in common; they can all haul the contents of one apartment, perfect for moving in together after the third date. Their picks for the most Sapphic cars are; Chevy S10 pick-up, Volvo wagon (sensible shoes, sensible car), Ford Ranger, Nissan X Terra, Geo Tracker, Honda CRV, Ford F-10, Jeep Wrangler and the top two are from Subaru of course, the Forrester and Outback.   CONTINUED ON FOLLOWING PAGE >> boiMAG 27

Motor Mouth (CONTINUED)

Even South Florida Gay News, which should be called a “snoozepaper, it’s so boring, came up with a list of cars as its top choices in 2013. Leading off the list was that mid-life crisis special, the Porsche Boxster (hey guys, Viagra’s cheaper!) followed by the Audi A7, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Mazda 6 and, (yawn) the Ford Focus.   After culling through dozens of lists of the “gayest” cars, the same cars appeared on multiple lists, leading me to believe that there is some truth to these perceptions. You know the old saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s usually a flaming queen!”

BMW Mini Cooper There’s no way to look manly as you unfold yourself from this petite beast.

Smart Car Maybe it’s because of its stubby little shape, but it reminds me of a baby’s penis. And you just know that if you get in a frontend collision, you’re going to be singing soprano the rest of your life. Mazda Miata Hands down the gayest car on the road today. It makes you feel like Don Draper on Mad Men, put the top down and you’ll feel more like Betty Draper. Chrysler Sebring It seems to be designed for the closeted suburban teacher who thinks no one knows; when the only one without a clue is him. This is also the favorite of the retired set in Palm Springs and Wilton Manors.

Fiat Trying to get some of the market share that the Cooper Mini has claimed. The Italian car-maker, acquired by Chrysler, has tried to make it seem manly. Not easy, VW Cabriolet because if there was ever a car This is a car in search of a Pride that looked like a bottom, this is it. Parade.

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in the know ... ON THE GO!

By Sue Deaunym

You Say Goodbye & I Say Hello Little Jim’s the bar that started Halsted is no more. Little Jim Gates, who retired to Florida years ago, sold the bar to his Philadelphia-based landlord. The changeover occurred right after the bar’s anniversary party. The bar will now be called LJ’s and should be open by the time you read this. The bar had been around so long that when it first opened, instead of the continuous loop of porn videos it ran for the last 20 years, it ran a constant slide show of pornography…Chloe’s, the new 5,000 sq. ft. nightclub in the former Spin space, should be open by the time you read this. Like Spin it promises to be a highenergy dance club with a lower level dance floor and intimate cocktail lounge on the second. It will feature the first LED dropped 3D 180 tube lighting system the United States. The music will be a mix of future-house beats mixed with new-disco as well as modern remixes of 80’s and 90’s hits. No word yet if the shower contests will continue. Pride Patter There is so much going on we’re 38 boiMAG

just going to break it down for you, day by day. Thursday The new Pride 5K gets your Pride Weekend off to a running start from Fullerton and Lake Shore Drive at five. There’s a postrace party near Diversey Harbor, featuring DJ Adam LeBlanc of the popular local band Sixteen Candles. That party lasts ‘til ten, then everyone will head over to the patio at D.S. Tequila… Laugh Factory celebrating its one-year anniversary-ish with a big gay Pride Show! Scott Duff hosts gay and gay-friendly comedians, such as; Poppy Champlin, Tamale Sepp, Rachel McCartney The producers say there might also be go-go dancers (big yawn), drag queens (smaller yawn) and cupcakes (yum, now they have my attention!) Friday OMG! LMFAO! Either someone has a sly sense of humor, or they’re totally clueless. Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church on LaSalle is holding a “Taste of Greece” festival throughout Pride weekend… Mayor Daley used to host the “Pride and Joy” reception at City Hall in honor of Pride weekend. Cheapskate

Emmanuel nixed that, so the Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame has taken it over as a fundraiser. It’s at the center on Halsted from 5:30 to 9:30…Chloe’s hosts its first Pride event; The Imperial Court’s Pride Ceremony, an evening honoring Chuck Renslow…Nothing says Pride like slippery men, so Hydrate has “Lube Wrestling”. Later that night the Freemasons perform… GayCo’s “Pridezilla” at The Playground Theater continues with comedian and burlesque queen Tamale Sepp. Tomorrow night the show continues with somebody named Kirk Williamson, who I hear is renowned for his sparkling personality.

fitting that “Neverland” is the name of the costumed, themed dance party taking over Metro tonight with international DJs Ivan Gomez (Spain) and Alex Acosta (Mexico). As if you needed more of a reason to party, 10% of all ticket revenue goes to the AIDS Foundation.

Sunday Berlin’s Total Therapy and Salonathon goes on with a Pride matinee featuring performances by; Witch Hazel, Darling Shear, Mister Wallace, Wes Perry, Mister Junior, Precious Davis and Jerry Blossom throughout the day…After the parade, it’s “Love Revolution”, Circuit Mom’s party featuring Saturday DJ Joe Gauthreaux and a 15,000 If you need to burn off some square foot outdoor dance floor at calories before the parade, you the Chicago History Museum. The could start with the 33rd annual party kicks off at 5:30, leaving you Proud to Run 10K, 5K run and walk plenty of time to party on Halsted along lakefront. In 2013 the event or in Uptown/Andersonville before had more than 1,600 registrants, arriving fashionably late to this so there should be some eye benefit for Equality Illinois. The candy, too, if you don’t feel like event will also feature full service running… The Dyke March is in bars, food, indoor/outdoor dance Humboldt Park this year (or should floors with state of the art sound we say Marzo de Tortillera?) It and light show. Grab the Broadway steps (or should we say stomps?) bus down or use the lot in the off from Roberto Clemente High park. School at 3:30…Bonaventure Houses hosts “Sober & Proud” a After the Parade Passes By dance party and BBQ… Ted Eiel, On the 4th of July, Touché will have the legendary DJ from the equally $4 Sam Adams and Fireball Shots legendary Manhole, takes over and if that ain’t enough fireworks Hydrate… There’s a theory that all for you, stop by the next day and gay men suffer Peter Pan complex tangle with the Great Lakes Bears. (“we won’t grow up!”), so it’s boiMAG 39

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DUMBBELL Shoulder Press

By Michael Elder

When it comes to training the shoulders, no exercise is more beneficial than the all too important shoulder press. While there are shoulder press machines in most gyms, I find that performing this exercise with dumbbells is the most effective as it ensures that both shoulders are working independently.

the Arnold Press

Care should be taken not to lock your elbows at the top of the movement. Perform this movement to exhaustion. Once muscle failure has set in, turn your palms back toward each other at the top of the movement, lower your elbows down to the side of your body, and then bring the dumbbells back to your thighs.

This movement targets all three heads of the deltoid muscles: font, medial, and rear. As shoulders tend to be one of the weaker areas of the body for most people, this exercise should be a highlight in your arsenal. Try both of these. They are fun!

The Arnold press: This variation this exercise was invented by Arnold Schwarzenegger Start with the palms facing the body and the elbows close together.

The dumbbell shoulder press: Sit in a chair facing a mirror with a dumbbell in each hand. Start with dumbbells on your thighs One at a time, bring them up to your shoulders with your palms facing each other. Press overhead with each arm, and once at the top, turn your hands outward, facing the mirror for the rest of the set. Inhale as you slowly lower the arms to a ninety degree angle in both elbows. Exhale as you press overhead.

In one movement, the palms turn outward as the dumbbells are pressed overhead. The weights are lowered twice as slow back to the starting position. The Arnold Press places more emphasis on the front deltoid (while still working the other two), which is often the most neglected of the three. Michael Elder has been working as a fitness professional in Chicago for the last fifteen years. He comes from a background in gymnastics and is certified as a personal trainer through the American Council on Exercise (ACE). He can be reached directly through his web site: boiMAG 49

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Been A long Time By Gregg Shapiro

Her immediately recognizable vocals on the 10 tracks she co-wrote are as alluring as they were when we first heard them. Beginning with the dark lullaby of “Across The Water,” to the sexually-driven title tune (which could be used as an object lesson for Beyonce and Jay-Z) and “Naked,” and the acid-jazzdance of “Weightless,”

Cherry’s latest project is anything but blank. If these Neneh Cherry returns (from Sweden!) to perform live in the examples aren’t reason enough States for only the second time to check out this solid effort, in her entire music career. She’ll then perhaps the stellar “Out of be at the uber-hipster Pitchfork the Black,” a duet with electrogoddess (and fellow Swede!) Music Festival in Chicago on Robyn should do the trick. July 18. If you can’t make it to There’s also the Yoko Ono vocal Washington Park to catch her aerobics on the album closer set, you should definitely get “Everything.” hold of her new album Blank Project, her fourth solo release. This won’t be the first review to Cherry, who put out a pair point out that Indie Cindy, the of well-received major-label albums in 1989 (Raw Like Sushi first new studio album by the Pixies in more than 20 years, contained her breakthrough hit “Buffalo Stance”) and 1992, has isn’t as immediately classic as their landmark 1989 Doolittle spent most of the past 20 or so years being a mother, while disc. But Doolittle was released 25 (!) years ago and the band making music with an array of has splintered, members have bands, some of them her own pursued side and solo projects and some led by others. The self-described “singer who raps” during that time. Alternating between heavy metal (the doesn’t sound as if a day (let aptly titled "What Goes Boom”), alone 20 years) has passed. 56 boiMAG


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vintage Pixies (“Greens and Blues”) and a little bit of both on the title track, Indie Cindy sounds like it wants to cover all (if not most) of the bases, and it succeeds in its own way. The Pixies even makes an extra special effort to keep current with unexpected use of electronic beats on “Bagboy.” “Silver Snail,” “Ring The Bell,” the psychedelic “Andro Queen” and the slithery “Snakes,” are also recommended. Thirty years after disbanding, and almost 50 years after its biggest hit, “Dirty Water,” dominated the airwaves, garage rock godfathers The Standells have returned with Bump. One of the most fascinating aspects of the disc is the way The Standells not only return to the land of the “Dirty Water” in the new song “Boston’s Badass,” but also pay tribute to one of its followers, `80s garage rock revivalists the Lyres with a cover of its song “Help You Ann.” For the most part, it sounds like these guys are having a good time, and sometimes that’s enough. Like The Standells, NRBQ has been at it for a long time. Known for its bar-band persona,

NRBQ maintains its reputation nicely on Brass Tacks. With the infusion of new talent and energy, including Chicago’s own Scott Ligon, NRBQ keeps the fun times coming on the humorous “Greetings From Delaware” (with its “I’m in love with my credit card” refrain), the retro romance of “Sit In My Lap,” the acoustic assurance of “It’ll Be Alright,” the reunion tune “I Can’t Wait to Kiss You” and an affectionate cover of “Getting To Know You.” Thirteen years after the release of The Dandy Warhols’ commercial breakthrough Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia the band gathered to commemorate the occasion with a concert at the Wonder Ballroom (in Portland OR) in which it performed the entire 13-track album (a pattern emerges!) before a live audience. Recorded for posterity on Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia Live at The Wonder, it’s one of those live albums that makes you wish you had been there to share in the experience. (The Dandy Warhols perform at Riot Fest in Humboldt Park on September 12-14.) boiMAG 59

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wife about the relationship, but you do need to explain why you can’t see her right now. Explain that seeing her reminds you too much about Andy and you need some more time. You need to see a grief counselor. At this point by Ace Magyar it doesn’t matter if the relationship was right or wrong; you just need to deal with your Bereft on Buckingham pain. After seeing your counselor for a while, I get along really well with a man I work you may eventually be able to decide what to with. tell Andy’s wife. Andy is straight and married, but has no problem with my being gay. His wife is a doll and I’ve met her a couple times. When Flummoxed in South Town he’s been out of town on business we often My ex-wife and I broke up two years ago. We had several credit cards with both of meet for dinner. Everything was going our names on them. Up until recently, she well until he and I went on a business trip had not used them at all, and I assumed together. On the last night of the trip, we were sitting in the hotel bar celebrating our that she had disposed of the cards. I continued to use the cards and paid the successful business deal. I thought it was bills every month. Last month’s statement my imagination that he was being a little was shockingly high and when I went flirty until Andy told me that he wanted over it, I noticed a number of charges I to make love to me. I told him that he’d hadn’t made, but judging from the stores, had too much to drink (he’d only had two I suspect my ex charged these items to our scotch on the rocks), but he insisted that account. I called her and she denied using he’d felt that way for a while. We ended the cards and said she cut them up and up going up to his room and having sex. threw them away after we broke up. I think I’d never said anything to him about my liking big dicks (we never talked about sex that she’s lying. What can I do?   before), but when he dropped his pants, DEAR FIST, he had one of the biggest penises I’d ever The first thing you do is call the credit seen. I was a goner. Afterwards Andy said card company and report that there are he still loved his wife, but that he liked unauthorized changes on your account having sex with men too, but hadn’t since and ask them to issue you a new card. The he’d been married. We maintained our next step depends on a number of factors. relationship for 10 years, and I do believe Were you and your wife legally married and he loved me as much as his wife and that, in a strange way, he was faithful to both of legally divorced? If so, there should have us. He died suddenly from an aneurysm last been something in the divorce decree about month (he was only 45). His wife asked me, responsibility for credit cards and bills. If you were not legally married or divorced, there as his best friend, to speak at his funeral. are many other factors to consider. In either I managed to make it through part of the case, if the charges are significant enough eulogy before breaking down. Everyone to warrant action, hire an attorney and see saw it as my grieving the loss of a friend, if you have standing to sue her. If it is just a but Andy was more than that. I never told few hundred dollars, just changing the card anyone about our relationship and have had to deal with this all alone. His wife calls (and all others on which she is a registered me, wanting to get together. I can’t face her, user) might be the best course of action. If yet feel guilty for not comforting her. What these charges affect your credit rating, go to Consumer Credit Counseling Service can I do? ( for advice.   DEAR BOB, Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex You have suffered a great loss and you need therapy and a PhD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send support. This is not the time to tell Andy’s


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your questions to ASK ACE at

12.14 - Pride Parade Chicago 2014  

boiMAGazine, Issue 12.14 Chicago's #1 Lifestyles Publication, In Print & Online.

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