05.14 - Moving & Apartment Life

3700 N. Halsted St. #2-S Chicago, IL 60613 773.975.0264 Editorial: boieditorial@aol.com Advertising: boiads@aol.com EDITORIAL Mike Macharello: Production Rick Karlin: Editor layout & design Titanium Graphics, Inc. advertising Freddie: freddie@boiMAGazineChicago.com Dave: dave@boiMAGazineChicago.com National, Rivendell Media: sales@rivendellmedia.com photographerS Eamonn Sexton Ken Brown, KAB Photography Oliver Aguilar COVER Steve, moving out on his own editorial contributors Gregg Shapiro, Ace Magyar, Parker Carr Sue Deaunym, Anita Taylor, Ilye Costalis boiMAG ONLINE

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Classified Information

By Anita Taylor

Anybody who’s trolled craigslist or The Reader classifieds looking for a roommate knows that there are some seriously crazy people out there.

Looking at the ads below, we wonder if they got any calls at all, but as my mother used to say, “For every bolt, there’s a nut!”

Live-In Vegan Bi Girl Happy and healthy couple looking for a bi-girl to share house and fun. We are vegan friendly so a vegan or vegetarian is preferable. Prefer roommate to be open minded and experimental and complement our healthy lifestyle while helping out financially. Sesame or nut eaters are not welcome.

Seeking Position As Live In Assistant I am seeking a live-in assistant position.

I have a day job but would be willing to help out with household chores in exchange for free rent or reduced rent.

I am serious, do not contact me about anything other than the terms of this ad.

Do not be any of the following: abusive, disrespectful, dishonest, manipulative, creepy, psychologically unstable or addicted to hard drugs. Basically, don’t be a shitty person. I don’t have time for it.

Send a picture showing your face or I will not reply.

Naked Male Roommate Wanted Newly renovated house, great location.

Mid-30s guy looking to rent to guy similar in age. Non-smoker who wouldn’t mind watching TV in the nude, sleeping naked, shower or using the toilet with the bathroom door open. Straight only, not looking for hook up.

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Free Room Near Downtown I have an extra bedroom that I am offering free. Only request is that once a month you use my face as a footstool. Private bath.

Paging Sheldon I have a few rules that need to be followed, but other than that, we should get along fine! If you are going to cook, please do not use the following spices: curries, paprika, anything Cajun, and dill. You must brush your teeth at least twice a day. If you speak either French, Urdu, or Afrikaans, do not speak them in my vicinity. No cell phone tones, use silent mode only. Every Tuesday evening I request that you vacate the house while I upholster various pieces of antique furniture. That’s the summary of my requests, I have a handbook that outlines all of my more particular requests, which I will provide for your perusal during our interview.

Questionnaire 2 roommates looking for third in large apartment in good neighborhood. Nice room with private bath, $500 month.

Looking for compatible person must answer following questions: Where do you buy your bagels?

What was your last Halloween costume?

Do you craft?

How often do you eat ice cream?

Who is better Britney or Xtina?

If you were a genie in a bottle, what kind of bottle would it be?

What Disney princess would you be and why?

Must provide last three grocery receipts.

Smooth Moves

By Anita Taylor Moving is one of the hardest things to do, much less moving to another city or another country. But sometimes you’ve just got to pick up and follow that yellow brick road wherever it leads you. Whether you’ve got a new job or just need a change, there comes a time when you’ve got to move on.

You may be hesitant to leave behind a life you knew, but with cell phones, FaceTime, Skype and other technology advances, you can still keep in touch with the best parts of home, while exploring new areas. How do you know when it’s time to pack it up and move on? There are ten clear signs.

Your Dream Job Is Elsewhere You may need to relocate in order to, as Oprah says, “Follow your bliss,” No matter how good a dancer you are, no one is going to discover you in Two Mules, Montana. If it’s a job in the television or film industry, your best bets are L.A. and New York City.

Publishing, definitely New York. Web design, head to Seattle. Though you can be a big fish in a small pond, you’ll never really know what “could have been” unless you take that chance. That’s why all those folks at Steppenwolf head to the coasts.

Your Goals Have Changed You’ve studied for years and spent thousands of dollars training for your profession, but you hate it. Why stick with a decision you made when you were most likely a teenager? Do you listen to the same bands or dress the same way you did back then? Of course not. (If you did you wouldn’t be

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reading this magazine, you’d be reading Tiger Beat!) If you decide that what you really want to do this year is live by the beach and teach surfing to tourists, go ahead, try it for a year. That actuarial job will be there when you come back, and you’ll always have stories about that crazy year you spent at the beach.

You’re Missing Your Loved One Long distance relationships seldom work. If the love of your life got transferred across the country and you’re not that crazy about your job (and you aren’t or you wouldn’t be reading this article) why not make the romantic gesture?

You’ve Never Lived Anywhere Else You won’t know if you don’t try. There are people out there who are perfectly content to live their entire life in their hometown, but if you’re asking yourself, “Am I hiding from the world?” chances are you need to experience life somewhere else. The worst thing that can happen is that you discover you really were happier at home, just like Dorothy from the Wizzard of Oz (no place like home).

There’s Some Place You’ve Always Wanted to Live Everyone dreams of living somewhere else from time to time, but if your dreams are very specific that’s a sign that you need to go there for something more than a vacation. Does living in Japan or Thailand fascinate you? Go find out what it’s like. There are plenty of companies that are looking for people to teach English to their employees.

Life’s too short not to give it a shot.

You Realize You Were Running Away Living in a big city, you encounter a lot of folks who head back home after trying life in the big city. Sometimes they couldn’t hack it, but sometimes they realize that what they were looking for was closer to where they grew up.

Of course, if you’re a born and raised Chicagoan (and the suburbs don’t count), this doesn’t apply to you. There’s no shame in moving back to where you lived before, as long as you go back having learned something about yourself.

There’s No Reason to Stay Maybe you moved to Chicago with your college buddies after school, and one by one they have left, or you came chasing the dream of acting in Chicago’s lively theater scene, but find

you’ve spent more time waiting tables in Chicago’s lively restaurant scene.

Maybe the relationship you moved here for didn’t work out. If you aren’t happy and there’s nothing holding you here, say “Hasta la vista, baby.”

You’re Ready To Settle Down The last thing most of our readers think about is settling down (It’s boiMAGazine not Settled-Down Daddy Magazine), but if you and your honey want to make it official, you might want to think of relocating. While you now can get married in Chicago, the largest concentration of same-sex couples is in the Fort Lauderdale area.

You Complain About Your City ...

All the Time Everyone has pet peeves about where they live. Bitching about the high rents and CTA is practically a full-time job. But if your complaints go deeper; say you find the people cold, or the job prospects crappy, then it is time to relocate.

You Hate the Weather Don’t roll your eyes, after this winter, we all feel that way. I can’t count the number of times someone from L.A. has moaned to me how much they “miss the seasons.” It makes me want to push them face first into a yellow snow drift. But, native Chicagoans all know people who have moved to Chicago and left after the first winter.

You have to determine whether the weather might make you stay or leave.

If you’ve said yes to at least two of the sections in this article, it may be time to consider moving on. If so, can I have your Ventra card? boiMAG 13

Motor Mouth

By Parker Carr

Meet Our New Automobile Columnist

Maybe it’s because of my last name, but I’ve always loved cars, trucks, motorcycles; basically anything with wheels. For many gay men when you start talking about the mechanics of automobiles, their eyes glaze over, however, talking about cars with other gear-heads just gets me all worked up, so I was over the moon when boiMAGazine editor Rick Karlin asked me to contribute a regular column on cars.

Let’s start by taking a look at the top selling 2014 models. Now, as many of you know, new car models come out in the fall of the previous year, so the 2014 models have been selling for months now. While the winter from hell has dragged on, car sales have remained in hibernation throughout most of the country. It’s not surprising then, that in Feb., car shoppers shunned popular sedans, and snow-ready cars jumped in sales.

Sales for all-wheel-drive vehicles were up some 20 percent in the first part of the year. Off-road brands such as Land Rover (sales up 3%) and Subaru (+24%) and Jeep (+47.4%) saw the highest gains. Shoppers bought more Jeep Cherokees, Grand Cherokees and Wranglers than any of parent company Fiat/Chrysler’s five other U.S. brands.

However, these specialty purchases still didn’t crack the top ten in sales. While sales of some of the best-sellers in Feb. were down, the popularity of these brands still place them in the top The Top ten sellers. Let’s take a look at those best-selling vehicles.

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Ford F Series Sales were up 2.6% from the same period last year. The F-150 was slightly refreshed in 2013, adding some new features and tweaking the exterior and continues to be the go-to truck for tons of new vehicle shoppers.

Chevy Silverado While sales were down 12.1% from last year, the newer models are more fuel efficient, keeping sales stronger than competitors, even during a slump. More than 36,000 of them sold last month.

Nissan Altima One of the few sedans to see an increase in sales from last year (+11.3%), most likely due to the wellappointed interior and sporty driving dynamics and better fuel economy than similar non-hybrid vehicles.

Ram Pick Up Sales increased 25.8% from last year because the 2014 iteration is much more fuel efficient, without sacrificing its capability on- and off-road.

Toyota Camry While sales are down 7.3% from last Feb., the sheer popularity of this midsize sedan keeps it among the top sellers, and with good reason.

Safety, fuel economy, exterior looks and standard features usually found on higher end cars, make for a loyal customer base, selling almost 29,000 last month. continued on page 20 >>

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MOTOR MOUTH ...continued

Toyota Corolla/Matrix This duo (same mechanicals, different frame) saw a minor increase of sales, 1.2%, mostly because it was a little later getting onto dealer lots. Buyers appreciate the bold new looks, updated engine, fuel efficiency and reliability.

Honda Accord Despite a low starting sticker price, lots of standard features and great reliability, sales dropped 12.1% from last year. But sheer numbers still keep it in the top ten.

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Ford Fusion Even with sales nearing 24,000, the numbers were down 14.3% from last year. Sales for 2013 may have been somewhat inflated as consumers tend to buy more cars that have been redesigned (as Fusion was last year.) Part of the drop in sales may be due to the bad word of mouth the “MyFord� touch system has been getting. Many consumers find it to be slow and glitch-filled.

Ford Escape Sales took a slight dip (4%) but it remains a popular, practical family vehicle.

Chevrolet Cruze Chevy saw a vast increase in sales (+21.7%) over last year as more consumers discover its refined interior and 46 m.p.g. on the highway.

Until next time, drive safely.

By: Victor Barreiro

Martha Ivelisse Pesante Rodríguez is what you’d find her listed as on her birth certificate, but music lovers around the globe know her as Ivy Queen. This multi Latin Grammy nominee is responsible for such chart-topping songs as “Quiero Bailar, Te He Querido”, “Te He Llorado” and “La Vida Es Asi” and those are just to name a few. Ivy will soon grace the stage as she travels across the United States for her first ever gay tour. The Queen of Reggaeton tells us about the upcoming tour and what the gay community really means to her.

What can we expect when you kick off your gay club tour?

This is something that I’ve been wanting to do for so long. I want to do something for the gay community. They always support me. All of my best friends are gay. This is a tribute for the love that they have shown me. I am going to make sure that the guys have fun and that they sing along with me. I am trying to incorporate different drag queens from the U.S. I am a huge fan of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and basically I want to have a drag queen at every city that I will be visiting.

You’ve performed at Gay Pride in Los Angeles and Long beach. What is it about the gay community that strikes a chord with you?

They feel free…that freedom that allows you to say what you feel, even though if it hurts somebody, you’re telling the truth.

Another thing is that they are so brilliant.

They are so talented. I know a lot of makeup artists, painters, stylists that are so creative. I have friends that do clothing.

They are happy and are celebrating life.

That is what I love about them. That is what I love about them, the freedom of being who you are. That is why I love them so much.

What would you like to say to your gay fans?

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iMUSIC

W o n d e r W om e n O f th e W or l d

by Gregg Shapiro

It was only a matter of time before Nina Persson, the lead singer of Swedish band The Cardigans (“Lovefool”) and later A Camp (with husband Nathan Larson of Shudder To Think fame), released a solo album as rewarding as Animal Heart. Well-worth the wait, Animal Heart gives Persson a chance to exhibit her versatility. On the dramatic “Burning Bridges for Fuel,” Persson proves that she knows her way around a power-ballad and infuses it with the proper level of emotion. “Clip Your Wings” is meant for dance-floor strutting, “Jungle” swings subtly and the delicious “Food For The Beast,” with its reference to being “face down on the floor of the discotheque,” has club track written all over it, elevating Persson to full-fledged dance diva. Check out funky track “Catch Me Crying,” the polished retro of “Silver” and “This Is Heavy Metal,” which is heavy in ways you might not expect.

Even when she’s rocking out as she does on the exhilarating “Man” or cussing up a storm as she does on the heartbreaking “Near Midnight, Honolulu,” insurgent country goddess Neko Case never loses her torchy twang throughout her latest album, the Grammy-nominated The Worse Things Get, The Harder I Fight, The Harder I Fight, The More I Love You. With a gift for turn of phrase, Case sings the heck out of these songs, causing them to become a part of your being after only one listen, but repeated listens are in order. “Night Still Comes” aches at the “right angle,” the aforementioned “Man” would be a hit single in a perfect world 22 boiMAG

Neko Case and “Bracing For Sunday,” about “a Friday night girl/bracing for Sunday to come,” might be Case’s queerest statement to date. An all-star affair, Case is supported by a dazzling array of artists including grand divas Kelly Hogan and Carolyn Mark, as well as Mudhoney’s Steve Turner, My Morning Jacket’s Jim James and Carl Broemel, fellow New Pornographer AC Newman, M. Ward and Howe Gelb.

Talk about incredible genes. Half-sisters Anoushka Shankar and Norah Jones are the daughters of sitar superstar Ravi Shankar. Following in her late father’s footsteps, Anoushka is also a sitarist and composer of renown.

Half-sibs Anoushka and Norah team up on a trio of songs on Anoushka’s new album Traces of You, one of the elements contributing to the disc’s more accessible and commercial sound. The three songs, the sad but radiant “The Sun Won’t Set,” the country-influenced title cut and the touching ballad “Unsaid,” are all lovely additions to both women’s portfolios. On the remainder of the disc’s instrumentals, Shankar and producer Nitin Sawhney strike a balance

between the contemporary and the traditional.

Known for her explosive recordings and live performances, Sri Lankan M.I.A. blasted her way into our consciousness with a pair of sensational releases.

M.I.A. appears to have lost focus on her latest album Matangi. Still working the exotic angle with her hip-hop-inspired compositions, M.I.A. sounds like she’s chosen technology over tunes. There’s nothing here as groundbreaking as “Paper Planes” or “Bucky Done Gun,” where tech and tunes coexisted creatively.

She may not have Björk’s pipes, but Icelandic singer/songwriter Emiliana Torrini shares a similar pop sensibility on her new disc Tookah. This is something that comes through the clearest on the slinky funk of “Speed of Dark,” the heated delirium of “When

Fever Breaks,” the sexy beat of “Animal Games” and the fuzzy slither of “Caterpillar.”

The cancellation of X-Factor, sinister Simon Cowell’s insidious TV talent show, by the Fox network (they finally did something right!) was a sign that maybe we’d have fewer of his insufferable Svengalied acts to slog through. Of course, the cancellation came after the release Salute, the second disc by X-Factor champs, Brit quartet Little Mix. The female quartet gets our attention with the march of the title cut, a song that sounds like it’s trying to connect the empowerment messages of the Spice Girls and Beyonce. The dance-floor-destined “Move” lives up to its name and is an example of what LM does best, as opposed to overwrought ballads such as “Boy,” “These Four Walls” and “Towers.”

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Rick Karlin s

Dining Out for Life…& More Mark your calendars and let all your friends know Dining Out For Life is scheduled for Thursday, Apr. 24.

Chicago is one of 60 cities across the United States and Canada participating in the event, making Dining Out for Life as the single largest HIV/AIDS benefit in the country!

The 2014 Chicago fund raising event features restaurants throughout the city making donations to assist EdgeAlliance’s programs for homeless and low-income children, families and adults living with HIV/AIDS, helping them to achieve stable housing, improve wellness and transition toward greater independence.

Actress and advocate Pam Grier joined Dining Out For Life as co-spokesperson (with Food Network host Ted Allen) to help raise support: “There is a resurgence of HIV among youth, gay men, women and ethnic minorities due to lack of education and the misperception that the epidemic is over and curable. Awareness and funds are declining, but you can help. Dine out on Thursday, April 24th for the most satisfying meal you’ll have all year.”

As of our deadline, the following restaurants were listed as participating: 312 Chicago, Acre, Ann Sather Restaurant, Anna Maria Pasteria, Anteprima, Atwood Café, Azzurra, Big Jones, Bistro Campagne, Bistronomic, Bite Café, Bluegrass, Bountiful Eatery, Broadway Cellars, Browntrout, The Chicago Diner, Club Lucky, Crew Bar & Grill, Cucina Paradiso, Francesca’s Bryn Mawr, Giordano’s, Hamburger Mary’s,

HB Home Bistro, Jack’s on Halsted, Lady Gregory’s, Mia Francesca, Nookies, Ombra, Pasteur, Sable, Salpicon, The Signature Room At the 95th, Silver Cloud, Southwater Kitchen, Spacca Napoli, Spritz Burger, Table Fifty-Two, Taverna 750 and Vivere. Meal services and location participation may vary and additional participants may be added.

For additional information, go to the official Dining Out for Life website at www.diningoutforlife.com/chicago.

Restaurants wishing to participate should contact Joey Wasserman, Special Events Manager at EdgeAlliance, at 773359-0122 or jwasserman@edgealliance. org.

In Other Dining News

Tru is now offering a prix fixe menu for $115, in addition to the Tru Experience menus. For reservations or more information call 312-202-0001 or visit www.trurestaurant.com. Bow & Stern Oyster Bar has added some new theme nights; Sunday Supper Club offers a three-course chef’s dinner for $33 and “Oyster Happy Hour ”: between 5 and 7 p.m. on Tuesdays through Thursdays when the restaurant’s namesake mollusk is available for $1 to $1.25 (per oyster.)

The restaurant also offers gluten-free fish and chips for $14 every Tuesday, also on Tuesday all bottles of wine are priced 50% off. For reservations or more information, call 312.988.0644 or go to www.bowandsternoysterbar. com.... Vermilion celebrates Holi on March 22 with a traditional four course Holi prix fixe dinner for $45. www. thevermilionrestaurant.com. boiMAG 25

THEATER SCENE

By Rick Karlin

Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus will expose its biggest and best at the 7th Annual Big Package Auction featuring special guest hostess, Miss Richfield 1981 on Saturday, April 5 at Sidetrack. The event is a fun, frisky and all around fabulous benefit featuring a live auction of spectacular prizes and packages presented by equally spectacular (and scantily clad) men. Among the packages (prizes not men) include a wedding, an African safari, a trip to New York and a cruise. Guests will also have the opportunity to participate in a stellar silent auction and raffle drawing.

Pre-sale tickets are $25 and include drink tickets and hors d’ oeuvres, tickets are $30 at the door. VIP tickets are available for $50, which include a pre-show “Meet & Greet” with Miss Richfield and a silent auction preview from 4:30-5:30pm. All proceeds from the event will benefit the Chicago Gay Men’s Chorus. For more information visit www.cgmc.org or call 773.296.0541.

About Face and Silk Road Rising present the Chicago premiere of “Brahman/i: A One-Hijra” a comedy exploration of cultural and gender identity Apr. 27, at Silk Road Rising’s, Pierce Hall at the Historic Chicago Temple Building.

Step Up Productions continues its season with the world premiere of Joshua Rollins’ dark comedy “Darlin’”, through Apr. 13, at The Athenaeum Theatre.

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The Den Theatre launches its 2014 season with the world premiere of “The Roper” playing through Apr. 13, on The Den Theatre main stage in Wicker Park.

Court Theatre has announced its 2014/15 season. It will feature the world premiere of “Native Son” co-produced with American Blues Theater. Rounding out the season are; “Iphigenia in Aulis,” “Waiting for Godot”, “The Good Book,” and closing out the season, “The Secret Garden.”

The Harris Theater presents the Trey McIntyre Project in collaboration with the Music Institute of Chicago Academy on Thursday, Apr. 3. “The Vinegar Works, Four Dance of Moral Instruction” is the last new work created by choreographer Trey McIntyre before the end of the full-time company. The Trey McIntyre Project will also perform “Mercury Half-Life,” set to music by Queen, on Friday and Saturday, April 4 and 5.

Victory Gardens Theater celebrates its 40th anniversary season with, the Midwest premieres of “Rest” by ensemble playwright Samuel D. Hunter, “The Who and the What” and 2013 Tony Award nominee for Best Play, “The Testament of Mary,” along with the world premieres of “Samsara” and “A Wonder In My Soul. ” Lost Note Theater Company, dedicated to presenting concert readings of obscure and forgotten musicals, presents “Carnival!” with music and lyrics by Bob Merrill, book by Michael Stewart, for three performances only March 22-29, at Strawdog Theatre.

Steppenwolf Theatre Company announced its 2014/15 subscription season; “The Night Alive,” “Airline Highway,” “Marie Antoinette,” “The Herd” and one remaining title, which will be announced at a later date.

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in the know

... ON THE GO!

Music Makers “It Gets Better” an evening of inspiring

By Sue Deaunym music, will be presented by Windy City Passing The Bar Performing Arts on Saturday, Mar 22 at Due to our advanced deadline and having Ebenezer Lutheran Church… On that to scrape our jaws off the floor (can we same night, the “Bear All” series continues just say how shocked we are?) we’re late in with Dylan Rice, Andrew Sa, Graham Garner, announcing that Chuck Hyde is leaving Scott Free and guest “Momma Bear,” Ellen Sidetrack. It’s going to be like, peanut Rosner, at Touche… If big bears make you butter without jelly, like tonic without gin, think of big packages, then head over to like watching the Golden Girls without Bea the CGMC 7th Annual Big Package Auction Arthur… Tuesdays are the broke drunk’s best at Sidetrack on Saturday, Apr. 5. Featuring friend with $1 drinks at Berlin, Phoenix, special guest hostess, Miss Richfield 1981, Hydrate, @mosphere and Progress. BTW, the auction of spectacular prizes and after all that alcohol, you might want to know packages will be presented by scantily clad that Man’s Country has free lockers. You men… On Saturday, Apr. 12 it’s a re-creation have to be wearing leather, rubber or fetish of the British Invasion, as Lakeside Pride gear, but after that many drinks that should Symphonic Band takes a trip back in time to be no problem… Heroes plays the music of the sixties when hot Brits invaded the States, David Bowie at Parlour on Saturday, March at Preston Bradley Center… and of course, 22… What could be better than a Sunday every Sunday it’s Mary-Oke at Mary’s Attic. afternoon beer bust with $1 drafts, a movie and ending the night with vintage ‘70s disco In Other News music with the leather daddies at Touche?

If there are wedding bells in your future, head over to the Gay & Lesbian Wedding Just Askin’ Expo on Sunday, Mar. 23 at Holiday Inn Milwaukee Pridefest is going to have Lisa Mart Plaza… Kudos to Women & Children Lampanelli, Sandra Bernhard, Macy Gray, First for scoring an appearance by former Chad Michaels, Steve Grand, Mary Lambert President Jimmy Carter on Thursday, Mar and Bruce Vilanch. So can we please have 27. He’ll be signing his new book, “A Call someone other than a has-been ‘80s diva or To Action: Women, Religion, Violence, and second string disco queen for our Pridefest?

Power.” Purchase the book in advance and get a free ticket to the book signing.

You Don’t Have To Be Jewish… But It Couldn’t Hurt Movie Madness …to stop by on Thursday, March 20 for On Friday, Apr. 4, the Leather Archives & JUFYLD LGBTQ’s Happy Hour at Sidetrack.

Museum presents an evening of five award You’ll need a drink after all those letters so winning film shorts from Germany’s Fetish cough up the $12 advance / $15 door for Film Festival. It’s $10 for adults, $5 student / your free drink ticket and you’ll find out that senior, free for LA&M members. Tickets will the first half of that alphabet run stands be available at the door… If that’s not butch for Jewish United Fund’s Young Leadership enough for you, there’s a screening of Hannah Division… Explore “Judaism with a Queer Free at the Unitarian Church in Evanston on Perspective” with a free seven-session course Friday, Mar 21. Though I’m sure they’ll frown offered by Congregation Or Chadash, on on it, if you bring in a flask and do a shot Thursdays through May 8 (excluding the every time Sharon Gless chews some scenery week of Passover.). If that’s too much of a I can guarantee you’ll be bombed before the commitment, attend the Or Chadash gala on movie ends. On second thought a flask may Apr. 5 at The Arts Club of Chicago. not be enough, bring a case. boiMAG 29

ASK ACE

by Ace Magyar Boss From Hell I am a teacher and my principal is a bully who terrorizes the rest of the staff. He is harassing one of the teachers. He knows that her mother is dying of cancer and yet he continues to harass her for taking too many sick days. She is a good friend of mine and I stood up for her and told him that he was being a jerk. Now I am on the receiving end of his wrath. I’ve asked our union to intercede, but the woman he’s terrorizing won’t file a complaint (she is a new teacher and doesn’t have tenure.). He’s a tyrant. At the last staff meeting he berated the entire staff and said that if we didn’t like things we could leave because he could hire new teachers, fresh out of school who will work for less money. Everyone is afraid of him, but we can’t do anything.

Dear BFH, First thing you need to do is contact your union again. When he threatened to hire younger teachers, he violated fair employment standards and if you or any of the other teachers are over the age of 40, you can claim age discrimination.

The fact that he made that statement in an open meeting should be enough to, at least, begin an investigation. Keep a journal of every time he harasses you and ask other teachers to do the same.

You need support to win this battle and if your union won’t help you, contact your school system’s department of human resources or the local E.E.O.C. chapter.

Sex Is A Drag A few weeks ago, I took part in a charity event and got done up in drag for the first time. After the event, my boyfriend and I went out drinking (I was still in drag) and a straight guy tried to pick me up (he thought I was a real girl). My boyfriend was kind of intrigued and we ended up going home and having a three-way. The straight guy was a little freaked out at first, but he was drunk and horny and eventually got into it. He even let me fuck him, but made me stay in drag.

Afterwards he left and we thought, “Well that was unusual, but fun.” A few days afterward he called me, saying he wanted to get together again, with just me in drag. I told him I was in a relationship, but he won’t stop calling.

I have no interest, but my boyfriend would like me to fuck the guy again and said if the guy doesn’t mind, he’d like to watch. He keeps asking me to return the guys phone calls. It makes me very uncomfortable. What should I do?

DEAR SIAD, If he still tries to harass you after ignoring him, then the next time he calls, tell him you’ll file a restraining order. If that doesn’t work, follow through on it. Your boyfriend needs to respect your decision not to see this guy again and if he doesn’t, that’s a major problem, and you and your boyfriend will need to sit down with a therapist and work on how you can make him respect your decision.

Ace Magyar has a BA in communications, a MA in sex therapy and a PHD in zoology. He is a registered couple’s counselor specializing in the GLBT community. Send your questions to ASK ACE at boieditorial@aol.com

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