FRIENDS By Al Munk DDS Reprinted from a previous issue with permission.
I’m lucky that I have a bunch of friends. Some are old friends I’ve known for 30 or 40 years, some I’ve only recently met. You don’t have to see a good friend often to maintain the relationship. One of the great things about the internet is the level of communication it allows between people who don’t see each other much, but still have a lot to say to each other. In fact, I have one friend that I have actually only met once in person, but we have been friends for 15 years, thanks to the wonder of cyber space. He is a ninety-year old recently retired dentist who lives in Los Angeles and is perhaps the only other regular dental humor writer in the country. So naturally, he and I have to be pals. Whenever one of us has a revelation leading to a piece of writing, it is immediately sent to the other for viewing and discussion. This may lead to more inspiration and more writing which is the whole idea if you imagine yourself to be a writer. With cyber friends, it is a true meeting of the minds, without the obvious barriers present in face-to-face encounters. Age and physical appearance are much less important for successful online interactions. In fact, some people invent an online persona which differs greatly from their actual physical one. No wonder the young people are so taken with Facebook and all the other social sites that exist on the Web.
EXPOSURES
One needs to have something in common with a friend, something to talk about to pass the time. For me, the choices are dentistry, golf, skiing, guitars, and cars. I know a little bit about each of these subjects. I am also interested in theoretical physics, stream biology, logging, forest propagation and construction. I’m also obviously interested in writing but, despite popular beliefs to the contrary, I don’t find there is much to talk about with this subject. I’m not a fan of book discussions or critique groups, writing classes or workshops. I like to write but I’m just not analytical about the subject and don’t really have much to say about it. So my LA dentist/writer pal is one of the few in my entourage with writing skills. I quite naturally have a bunch of dentist pals. We have lots to share both from the professional side as well as our other interests. If you are a dentist and you ski and golf, there is a good chance we could hit it off right now. Scratch the surface of most people and you find a wealth of interesting stuff just under the surface that you never knew existed. Online forums which are readily available can now connect you with lots of other folks in your field, some of which could become friends someday. I like to talk to trades people about their trade. I can talk plumbing and auto mechanics with the best of them and I like to learn about those new fields like computer repair which I know little about. My friends are all men. Why is this? Billy Crystal gave the definitive dissertation on this subject in that classic film “When Harry met Sally”. He was in the car with Meg Ryan and she asked him why men and women cannot be friends. He replied that they cannot be friends because the man would eventually want to have sex with the woman. Meg Ryan responded with the question that what if the man was not physically attracted to the woman? Billy responded that he probably would want to nail her anyway. This exasperated Meg so much that the discussion ended. Go figure, the exasperation is often mutual. Standing on the first tee with three of my good pals, the sun is coming up and the bets are being made with the expectation of bashing that first drive down the fairway—what could be better than this. It just wouldn’t be the same by myself. The subjects of discussion on the links are not profound, in fact are usually not even repeatable in mixed company, but there is no place I would rather be at that moment—with my friends. I hope you have a few as well. That’s all for now from Ballard. Originally printed in 2010 and reprinted in 2016. This article has been updated.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or official policy of the Seattle-King County Dental Society.
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