By Kimberley Watkins-Swenk
Wait, What Are the Rules Again?
aving a teenager introduced me to the teenage appendage known as the phone and the often-accompanying ear pods... (Oh, the phone and ear pods. The source of many annoying moments in our house. Where is our oldest as we call his name repeatedly around the house? Oh, wait, on his phone with his ear pods in as usual. Sound familiar?).
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Teenagers are sneaky little buggers.
“I swear, I am going to run that phone over with my car,” says my husband. (I want to note we have a friend, who shall remain nameless, actually run over their kid’s device with their 2018 Black Tahoe in a fit of rage. Something I totally understand now.)
We have four basic rules for phone usage in our house: No phone use at/or after bedtime: There is one obvious reason for this - blue light disrupting sleep - but this also keeps kids from being up all night texting with their friends and watching YouTube. No phone use at the dinner table: Few things bore a teenager, like sitting at the dinner table with their family talking about their day or hearing about ours. But this is family time, and despite his urge to pull away, my teenager needs to hear about my time stuck on I-285! No phones during school: Almost all teens carry their phones to school, but phones shouldn’t be used during school instruction. Many schools have rules against this but setting up the expectation that phones aren’t allowed during school hours is always good. No phone use during homework: This helps teens concentrate and work through their work more efficiently. They’ll also be motivated to finish their work faster so they can get their device back.
Teenagers and phones are here to stay, and with the phone comes a whole world of issues. Something that many of us Gen X and older Millennial parents never had to face. Because of my profession, I am pretty savvy with the phone and the digital world, but many parents are not. And teenagers are beyond savvy with their phones, like “MI6 James Bond-level of sophistication”. I have seen and heard so many stories of teenagers outsmarting their parents when it comes to their phones and technology that I have concluded that there is only so much we can do. Monitor their texts? They use code words. Forbid social media accounts? They create accounts under a pseudo name and check it on their friends’ phones. Forbid phones altogether? They buy “burner phones”. (You know the phones drug dealers use in movies so the police can’t track them? Yes, those phones).
Our Town
But what we can do is set up expectations from the beginning and pray to the Almighty they follow them. It is vital to find a balance between respecting the privacy of your young adult child and their safety. But how do we do this?
Most likely, your kid will break one or more of these rules at some point, but hey, they are teenagers! Kimberly Watkins-Swenk is a social media professional and also OTM’s Digital Content Director & Editor. Kimberly and her family split their time between Smyrna and Durango, Colorado. She is married to Jason and has two sons, Luke and Chase, and two cats she loves more than anything.
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