Back to the Bloomer Program

A BRIEF HISTORY OF BLOOMERS In 1978, Bloomers was founded by Joan Harrison (C’81) as the first collegiate women’s comedy troupe in the country. Today, Bloomers has evolved to a troupe for all gender minorities in comedy. For the last few decades, Bloomers has written and performed original sketch comedy. We produce a completely new show each semester both on and off Penn’s campus.

Like those before us, we wear our Bloomers proudly.

Program designed by the Bloomers Business Staff.

Cover art designed by Paris Rosen.

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BLOOMERS TROUPE 2023 Executive Board Chairs Rylee Saunders Jackson, Talia Coopersmith

Business Managers Paris Rosen, Emily Huynh

Technical Directors Joelye Land, Juliana Yu

Cast Director Drew NaiburgSmith

Ast. Cast Director Mallika Tatavarti

Head Writer Maura Pinder

Cast Anika Tiwari C’24

Drew Naiburg-Smith C’25

Malika Tatavarti C’25 Carey Salvin C’25 IzzySweeney C’25 Preethi Jayaraman W’25 Hannah Moskowitz W’26 Lulia Tesfamariam C’26 Molly Wisor C’27 Mariana Garza C’27 Lasya Bhattiprolu W’27 Anya Rothman C’27 Band Sophie Mwaisela C’24 Nix Pawlowski C’24 Kalindi Gosine C’24 Tina Zhang W’25 Helena Munoz C’25 Geddy Lucier C’26 Veronica Baladi C’27 Marcus Butler W’27 Isa Turri C’27

Band Director Sophie Mwaisela

Costumes Rebecca Kanter C’24 Rylee Saunders Jackson C’24 Talia Coopersmith C’24 Anna Hallac E’25 Keemia Sarafpour C’25 Leah Hopf C’26 Aly Kerrigan C‘26 Clara Skovronsky C’26

Joanna Raymond Ruiz C’26

Alex Fisher C’26

Biz Paris Rosen C’24 Emily Huynh C’24 Leann Goldberg C’25 Noelani O’Hare C’25 Teodora Dragic C’25 Izzy Welsh C’26 Priya Bhavikatti C’26 Yasmine Kettani W’26 Moira Connell C’26 Thalia Graeff C’26 Juliette Silk C’26 Melissa Redlich C’27

Band Manager Tina Zhang Costume Directors Rebecca Kanter, Leah Hopf

Writing Maura Pinder W’24 Brooke Giddon C’24

Anna Sophia Lotman C’24

Daphne Glatter C’25 Iniyaal Raguraj C’26

Trisha Bheemanathin C’26

Maia Saks C’27 Hannah Stoitchkov C’27 Olivia Zhao W’27 Tech Juliana Yu C’24 Joelye Land C’24 Adya Gupta C’25 Aled Dillabough C’25 Mame Balde C’25 Shelby Abayie C’26 Medha Patel E’26 Lillie Abella C’26 Maya Mathur C’26 Kayla Massick C’27 Leo Barocas E’27 Xihluke Marhule C’27 Madison Dengel C’27

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LETTER FROM THE HEAD WRITER This show is a reflection of the time, effort, and care of everyone in Bloomers, from all you see on stage to all of the work behind it. As Head Writer, I have had the opportunity to oversee the writing process this semester. The people who wrote this show come from diverse backgrounds that, together, have produced what you are going to see on stage. We believe that comedy can provide an open place to tell stories, as well as an opportunity to make all of you listen to a bunch of jokes we wrote together. We have worked tirelessly to make this show the perfect, worldstopping piece of art that it is now. Thank you very much for coming to our show. Laugh loud, cry hard.

Smell a flower. Enjoy the show!

- Maura Pinder + the Writing Team

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Act 1 Feature One Ventriloquist Falling Behind Sex Ed Rat Brandy Smooth Operator Invisible Ink Root Toot Toody's Gordon’s Gardenparty Tampacula Feature Two

Intermission

Act 2 Right Back Where We Started From Clapping Bubbie German Cast In Band Virtual Insanity SAG Hillary Clintones Isn’t She Lovely GP Feature 3

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Anika Tiwari (C ‘24)

Anika Tiwari belongs in 1853.

Anika is historically known for “you know what’s crazzyy.”

Drew Naiburg-Smith (C ‘25)

Drew Naiburg-Smith belongs in 2048.

Drew is historically known for imprinting on a diet coke.

Mallika Tatavarti (C ‘25)

Mallika Tatavarti belongs in 1999.

Mallika is historically known for old man wig.

Carey Salvin (C ‘25)

Carey Salvin belongs in 1982.

Carey is historically known for making a full length ski movie.

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Izzy Sweeney (C ‘25)

Izzy Sweeney belongs in 2013.

Izzy is historically known for knowing the counts.

Preethi Jayaraman (W ‘25)

Preethi Jayaraman belongs in 1994.

Preethi is historically known for “hi gay im dad.”

Lulia Tesfamariam (C ‘26) Lulia Tesfamariam belongs in 2023.

Lulia is historically known for free food.

Hannah Moskowitz (W ‘26)

Hannah Moskowitz belongs in 1972.

Hannah is historically known for not having ever taken notes in class.

Molly Wisor (C ‘27)

Molly Wisor belongs in 1848 (gold rush).

Molly is historically known for being from spokane. Where is that

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Mariana Garza (C ‘27)

Mariana Garza belongs in y2k.

Mariana is historically known for being getaway driver.

Lasya Bhattiprolu (W ‘27)

Lasya Bhattiprolu belongs in 1978.

Lasya is historically known for being better than mariana at math.

Anya Rothman (C ‘27)

Anya Rothman belongs in 1957.

Anya is historically known for tap dancing.

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Maura Pinder (W ‘24)

Maura, Miss head writerista: with her penchant for puns and her profound eye for the absurd, this girl is absolutely unstoppable on the comedy scene — just make sure you don’t catch her in the midst of a nap! Honestly, if we gave Maura a blue Gatorade and a season of Family Guy, we think she could perform a double ventricular bypass. In your time at Penn, you’d be lucky to see her wig collection. Long live Maura Pinder!

Anna-Sophia Lotman (C ‘24)

There’s one thing every writing team needs: a blonde. Our blonde is none other than Anna Sophia. Anna Sophia is light, love, and everything that is right in this world. Despite always being on the move, ne’er a hair out of place nor a pill on her cashmere sweater can be detected. If you happen to spot this italo-jewess in her oversized black frames, do not be scared. She is an angel. All hail AS Lotman!

Brooke Giddon (C ‘24)

How does one even describe something so perfect, chic, and classy, the embodiment of… je ne sais quoi? Brooke is also extremely talented and one of the funniest people you will ever meet. But don’t worry; although intimidating, she is one of the kindest, warmest people you will ever have the privilege of meeting. One thing is certain: if you are lucky enough to befriend her, you know you have a friend for life.

We love YOU Brooke!!!

Daphne Glatter (C ‘25)

Whether you need help with the most obscure math problem you’ve ever seen in your life or just need a genuinely kind pick me up, Daphne is most certainly the right guy for the job.

Her niche-ly historically based humor makes our writers room SO much funnier. 4 out of five dentists ecommend her and every living soul on the planet can certify that she is a true pleasure to know. Daphanator Nation Rise.

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Iniyaal Raguraj (E ‘26)

Iniyaal is, quite simply, everywhere all at once: she’s a computer science baddie, an incredible dancer, a refugee advocate, — and somehow, she manages to find time to grace the writers room with her presence! She does it all, and with her boundless energy, quick wit, and huge heart It’s hard for her not to make a splash wherever she goes.

Honestly i would name Iniyaal guardian of my firstbo n child

Hannah Stoitchkov (C ‘27)

Where do we even begin when delving into the inspiring figu e that is Hannah Stoitchkov?? She’s beauty, she’s grace, and she can judo flip you as easily as she can come up wit a funny quip perfect for the situation at hand. We at Bloomers are just too lucky to have her. If you catch her at Pret (and you will), make sure to buy her a chocolate croissant and complement her stylish Ray Bans. Hail Hannah!

Maia Saks (C ‘27)

Maia, Maia, Maia. One Maia for every cup of coffee she drinks a day. From sunrise to sunset, you can find Maia in her gold hoops and rockin outfit. Maia will never fail to blow you away with her immeasurable charm and wit. Besides writing comedy for Bloomers, she is a talented writer who does magic with her words. We love our comedic and novelist queen! She’s just a-MAIA-zing!!

Olivia Zhao (C ‘27)

Olivia Rodgrigo? No. Olivia Holt? Obviously not. How do you not know THE Olivia Zhao?? She is THE it girl with her fabulous red leather jacket and awesome Mario Kart skills.

In writing, she always brings her A-game (like in Mario Kart) and is open-minded (not like in Mario Kart). Olivia strives to help those around her and is always down for a good laugh.. We can’t wait to see what she does next!

Trisha Bheemanathin (C ‘26)

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Giddy up! Trisha comes to Bloomers straight out of yee-haw Alabama! Find this mean green cowgirl queen crunching grapes and sipping matcha as she fights viciously on Depop for the best possible bargains. But Trisha has done so much more than master the art of the deal. She’s a cognitivescience-studying brainiac, a musical maestro with countless Spotify playlists, an overall symbol of fantastic style and taste, and a hilarious, thoughtful, integral member of our Bloomers team!

Juliana Yu (C ‘24)

Senior in the College studying design and sometimes French and CS. The great schism.

Joelye Land (C ‘24)

Senior in the College studying HSOC and English. In 1980, the Big Blue Bug was built in Providence Rhode Island.

Shelby Abayie (C ‘24)

Senior In the College studying PPE. In 1919 there was a Great Molasses Flood, where the streets of Boston flooded with molasses moving at 35 mph.

Linnea Schenck (C ‘24)

Junior studying communications and ne arts.

When that one Roman emperor waged war against the sea and made his soldiers attack the sea. that was weird right 11

Mame Balde (C ‘25)

Junior studying English. The defenestration of Prague… sometimes you just have to throw people out the window

Adya Gupta (C ‘25)

Junior studying biology and design. When the portrait of Madame X was so scandalous that it caused a national uproar…her shoulder was exposed… the horror.

Aled Dillabough (C ‘25)

Junior studying communications and fine arts.

When that one Roman emperor waged war against the sea and made his soldiers attack the sea. that was weird right

Lillie Abella (C ‘26)

Sophomore in the college studying health and societies: 1631, a massive uproar was caused by a misprint in a publication of the Bible reading “thou shalt commit adultery”

Maya Mathur (C ‘26)

Sophomore studying environmental science.

President Jimmy Carter being attacked by a giant rabbit while out on a boating trip.

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Kayla Massick (C ‘27)

Freshman in the College. The Great Emu War, when the Australian government decided to fight emus using machine guns… and lost

Leo Barocas (E ‘27)

Freshman studying Mechanical Engineering.

July 20, 1969 Michael Collins, the Apollo 11 astronaut who didn’t walk on the moon

Xihluke Marhule (C ‘27)

CAS, ‘27, Cinema Studies/Computer Science.

Jacob Zuma’s two terms as President of South Africa, ifykyk

Medha Patel (E + C ‘26)

Sophomore studying environmental science and mechanical engineering. Cuban missile crisis: even under pressure, everything’s chill

Madison Dengel (C ‘27)

C’27. The Dancing Plague of 1518. I will say no more.

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Rylee Saunders Jackson (C ‘24) My Dear Rylee, the taco rice of my life, you are the best combination between velvety and hot, a breathtaking fusion of peacefulness and sexiness, the epiphany of flavo . How could anyone stop thinking about you?

Talia Coopersmith (C ‘24)

I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Talia’s motto: Anyone can costume. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what they meant. It is difficult to imagine m e humble origins than those of the genius now costuming and CHAIRING in Bloomers, who is, in this co chair’s opinion, nothing less than the finest biochemist in Philadelphi

Rebecca Kanter (C ‘24)

Lovely bagel. Crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. As a bagel should be. Cream cheese is a neutral shmear. Will improve your day.

Leah Hopf (C ‘25)

You know those photos of perfectly green avocados raised in perfectly two parent households?

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Anna Hallac (C ‘25)

Absolutely just hits the spot after a hard day shredding on the slopes. Delicious gluten free options. Overall a scrumptious dish.

Alex Fisher (C ‘26)

Mmm… scrumptious. alex is yummier than that first bite o trader joe’s butternut squash mac n cheese come first day o fall. rich, silky, and creamy (don’t read into it), to know alex is to know how unique she is. limited edition, seasonal special, known to sell out faster than you can say ‘she teaches young women of color to surf she’s so cool ahhhhh’. 12/10 would munch on again.

Clara Skovronsky (C ‘26)

I’m definitely a munch. Of Clara, I would eat a whole bunch Like a green grape, she packs a juicy punch. *Crunch*.

Aly Kerrigan (C ‘26)

Aly is like a perfectly rolled sushi. She is a wonderous blend of flavors wrapped up to leave a lasting imp ession.

Chefs will need years to perfectly master her edgyness and sophistication

Joanna Raymond Ruiz (C ‘26) Joanna has to be one of the freshest flavors of Bloomer Costumes. (Neck) Brace yourselves because Joanna is serving hot hot hot! A beautiful blend of elegance and personality, forget the snack, this girl is the whole damn meal!

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Keemia Sarafpour (C ‘25)

Keemia, the Grilled Cheese Queen, dazzles with a dramatic flai . Her golden-hued sourdough exterior warmly embraces you like an old friend. Sharp cheddar, bold and vibrant, steals the spotlight, while creamy brie offers a comfortin embrace. Smoked gouda adds mystery to the ensemble.

Caramelized onions bring sweetness and depth, and a hint of truffle oil adds sophistication. Keemi s sandwich is a symphony of textures, a perfect blend of crispy and tender.

In her grilled cheese, you find comfort, c eativity, and a touch of the extraordinary - a true testament to Keemia’s culinary artistry.

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Emily Huynh (C ‘24)

Emily would warp the space-time continuum by traveling back to October 17, 2021 and stretching before her deadlift. Now, she doesn’t complain about her bad back every 3 minutes.

Paris Rosen (C ‘24)

Paris would warp the space-time continuum by seducing Napoleon (short kings are drawn to her), taking over France, and thus naming its capital city after herself.

Leann Goldberg (C ‘25)

Leann would warp the space-time continuum by preventing the 2008 economic recession and now, finance bros have one less thing to fixate on (sad...).

Noelani O’Hare (C ‘25)

Noelani would warp the space-time continuum by teaching George Washington how to brush his teeth (ew…), leading to the greatest period of great dental hygiene ever known, but no more wooden teeth :( 17

Teodora Dragic (C ‘25) Teodora would warp the space-time continuum by making Justin Timberlake the original Mr. Shuster in Glee causing Glee to be just a bit better than it already is.

Izzy Welsh (C ‘26) Izzy would have warped the space time continuum by making a politically charged joke.

However, it was censored for sake of Bloomers funding <3

Priya Bhavikatti (C ‘26) Priya would warp the space-time continuum by becoming a paparazzi and by mistake catch JFK having an affai .

Yasmine-Tania Kettani (W ‘26) Yasmine would warp the space-time continuum by inventing Facebook before Mark Zuckerberg, resulting in “The Social Network” to pass the Bechdel test.

Moira Connell (C ‘26) Moira would warp the space-time continuum by going back in time and giving Virginia Woolf swimming lessons.

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Thalia Graeff (C ‘26)

Thalia would warp the space-time continuum by hitting up the brothels with Toulouse-Lautrec and bolstering his self esteem (Biz stands in solidarity with French short kings).

Juliette Silk (C ‘26)

Juju would warp the space-time continuum by drinking absinthe with Ernest Hemingway causing him to realize he actually respects women!

Melissa Redlich (C ‘27)

Melissa would warp the space-time continuum by going back to when Prince William was 20 and dating him causing her to become princess and thereby not joining Bloomers making this bio not even exist…

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Sophie “Single Mother” Mwaisela (C‘24)

On a recent band thrift, Sophie almost bought a bedazzled shirt with the word “MOTHER” shining in all silver. Indeed, she is a mother to all 8 of us; a single mom working two jobs (one being her thesis). If you want to congratulate her on a job well done as her 3rd show as Band Director (omg), consider the following gifts: a miniature can of coca-cola, your favorite primary source from the Kislak Center on Van Pelt’s 6th Floor, or a perfectly shaped strawberry. She’s also a research peer advisor (RPA), but we like to think that RPA stands for BEST BAND DIRECTOR EVERRRR WE LOVE U MOTHAAAA.

Nix “Off The Grid” Pawlowski (C ‘24)

Nix wrote 27% of the wikipedia economics page, but he’s not your typical finance b o. In fact, he’s not like other girls.

Because he isn’t one. The epitome of “you like jazz?” He wears khakis and a polo to sleep, and dreams of drum beats in odd time signatures. If you’ve never had a fluff nutter sandwich, you are not a friend of Nix. No, you may not get his Instagram handle. He is in fact off the grid and very mysterious. If you believe economics is irrelevant because “IT ISN’T REAL OMG,” read the prospect economics Wikipedia page. It’s the closest thing he has to a publication right now.

Kalindi “Goldfish Mommy” Gosine (C‘24)

Kalindi owns every color of nail polish, ever. Never without the gossip. She also kills goldfish for fun. Her goldfish Ringo and Mittens, also have unsupervised sex sometimes. IDK I don’t make the rules. One time I took a bath in her bathtub.

And it was consensual! She also lets all of us live in her house, all of the time. A loving biological mother to us all, her baked treats sustain long and arduous rehearsals in Platt 176. Just like all of the physics things Kalindi does, the limit for our love for Kalindi is likewise at infinit .

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Helena “Milkshake Apologist” Munoz (C ‘25)

She once purchased the Wawa™ equivalent of a grimace shake and was super embarrassed that some random guy would see it. She also could possibly be related to Kalindi?

Time to check 23&me. She is the funniest girl I know (I love you Helena). Ask to see her Instagram archives, and see how she’s been a baddie since she exited her mother’s womb and later grew up in the beautiful suburbs of Pennsylvania. She can also drive. I’d trust her behind the wheel tbh. Even though Helena can absolutely shred the violin, no sound is as

Tina “Shining Armor” Zhang (W ‘25) The original start to the Seattle collective, ⅓. Though she wears a lot of silver, she has a heart of gold. And a super spacious, badass Herzog house that the freshmen in band wish they could live in. She also takes the most precious photos of all of us. Our social butterfly whips this whole ban into shape. She’s the definition of cool, and the queen of th underground. She will go all the way to Lauder with you just to help you load in carts. She doesn’t need her Aphrodite halloween costume to make you fall so far in love.

Geddy “Geddster, Spagheddy, Geddington” Lucier (C ‘26) 3/3 of the Seattle Collective in band. Owner of many a funky pant. Catch him on a good day and it’ll be stripes AND plaid.

Don’t rhyme his name with spaghetti, or else you’ll get funfettied. Don’t be alarmed by the fish photos on hi Instagram, his passion for PNW salmon is real and genuine <3. He was almost a sustainability consultant. Almost.

Geddy’s giggle will make u wiggle and squiggle. We love you Gedward, Gederious, Gedismus, SpaGheddy & Meatballs.

Almost as much as you love your Bari B.Benson.

Veronica “Bageladi” Baladi (C ‘27)

Did Veronica ever mention that she’s from Jersey? Sort of an Econ major? She’ll go toe to toe with anyone willing to debate the quality of their bagels. Insane vocalist and guitarist who insists on no pick-- willing to bleed all over her strings for the perfect vibe. Our dual hype man - front man who loves a monochrome outfit, will swipe you into Laude . Sometimes I like to imagine she took voice lessons from Laufey. She’s the undeniable rock star of the band before she even picks up the mic.

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Marcus “Bath Enthusiast” Butler (W‘27)

Our resident Stouffer esident, ⅔ of the Seattle collective, and owner of majestic hair. Do you think you have a crush on Laufey? You don’t. You can’t. Because Marcus is spiritually her husband. Can you tell Laufey and her twin Junia apart?

Marcus can’t. Marcus loves baths. And Laufey. Did we mention Laufey? He also can SLAP on a bass. On a raw bass too because he doesn’t use a case, even on a rainy day. HE CAN ALSO DO A BACKFLIP (applause). If you’re lucky, you’ll see one live. But you’re already lucky – because you saw Marcus SLAP DAT BASS.

Isa “Fast and Furious” Turri (C ‘27) Isa routinely steals our hearts, as well as Kind™ bars from Houston Hall. You’ve never met someone who exudes “cool” as much as Isa – she’s literally a freezer. Isa is the well-kept secret behind the @bloomers.band recent Instagram content.

Even though she lacks a drivers license, her enthusiasm for F1 leaves everyone else in the dust. Count how many black cats you can see on Isa, it’s an iSpy game. Isa may travel routinely between Milan and Shanghai, but she will forever stay central to our hearts.

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WE WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT! Bloomers is Going on Tour!

This spring, our troupe has the opportunity to go on tour to New York City! We are so excited to share our work with a bigger audience, but we can’t do it without your help. Please consider donating to help us bring some fantastic comedy to the streets of the Big Apple.

Gift Fund If you enjoyed the show, please consider donating to the Bloomers Gift Fund, which helps sustain the troupe’s production and touring costs.

These donations are tax deductible and contribute to your overall University giving profile.

The link to the gift fund is here: bit.Ly/bloomers_giftfund

Scholarship Fund In addition, if you would like to help support individual Bloomers, please consider donating to the Bloomers Scholarship Fund. During the 2020-2021 school year, Bloomers created the Scholarship Fund to eliminate financial burden and ensure an equitable experience for all troupe members. The Scholarship Fund helps to cover dues, social costs, and merchandise.

If you want to donate to the Bloomers Scholarship Fund, Venmo @Bloomers-BusinessStaff with the message “Scholarship Fund.”

Any donation is greatly appreciated and we hope you enjoyed the show!

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A LOOK BACK AT OUR PAST PRODUCTIONS 1979 Fruit of the Bloomers 1980 Late Bloomers 1981 Attention Shoppers 1982 Rhapsody in Bloomers 1983 All Nonsense 1984 Please Don’t Eat the Bloomers 1985 The baby Bloomers Addiction 1986 What’s All the HULLABaloomers?

1987 We’re Having a Parody 1988 It’s Always Funny Until Someone Loses Their Bloomers 1989 Where’s Your Sense of Bloomers?

1990 Turn the Other Cheek 1990 Bloomers Greatest Hits 1992 Cheese & Wisecracks 1992 C’mon Baby, Light my Satire 1993 Humorus Maximus 1994 You Tarzan, We Insane 1995 Lunachicks 1996 Shocktober-Jest 1997 Dominotrix 1998 Offelya 1999 Lafftonsa 2000 Gag Me With a Spoon 2000 Sex and the Witty 2001 Bloomers or Briefs 2002 Laughs be a Lady 2002 My Small Thin WASP Wedding 2003 The Hair Down There 2003 Et Tu Bloome 2004 Disco Fever 2004 Bloomers of the Caribbean 2005 I Know Who You Did Last Semester 2005 Tit for Tut

2006 Family Feudalism 2006 Pun Forest Pun 2007 The Road to Prohibition 2007 Bloomers Went to Florida and All They Got Was This Lousy Title 2008 XXX-Files 2008 Baribe Shows Her Bloomers 2009 The Godmother 2010 The Sound and the Fury 2010 Little Shop of Whores 2011 Hot Crossed Nuns 2011 GoopleFace 2012 A Chuckle in Time 2012 The International Affair 2013 Law and Disorder 2013 The Bad, The Bad, and The Bad 2014 Snowpocalypse Now 2014 Saving Bloomerica 2015 Ship Happens 2015 Bloomers Offline 2016 Continuous 2016 Joust Kidding 2017 Wet Hot Superhero Summer 2017 To Bloom it May Concern 2018 Shakespeare in Bloom 2018 The Bachelor: Will You Accept this Show?

2019 Confessions of a Preteen Drama Queen 2019 Bibbity Boppity Bloom 2020 The Great(ish) Show 2021 Bloomers! At the Disco 2021 Off the Rails 2022 Go Bunk Yourself!

2022 Temple of Bloom 2023 Studio B

We’d like to thank everyone for their continued support over the years!

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