Northern Connector, January 03, 2014

Inside

◆ NEWS Drinkers give generously, P. 2 ◆ NEWS Court rules on prostitution, P. 5

◆ SPORTS Marlins host swim meet, P. 12 ◆ CLASSIFIEDS, P. 7-10

Free Picture your bundle of joy in the Terrace Standard’s

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ANNA KILLEN / THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

TERRACE - Jess Dafoe of the Terrace Public Library, left, stops by Thornhill Primary in Thornhill to drop off a cheque for $300 to buy new books for the school’s library. The school won the district-wide “Drop Everything and Read” contest, that saw students across the province read for extended periods of time. From left to right, in front, are Sienna Hill, Brooklyn Greenwood, Ollie the dog, Tristan Magnell, and Kyla Foisy. In back, standing left to right are Shelby-Lynn Lincoln, Keelan Hill, and Tyanna Marko.

Kitimat LNG camp to ramp up this year

By Cameron Orr THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

KITIMAT - Chevron’s Kitimat LNG team was back in Kitimat recently to give a brief update on their project.

Chevron’s David Molinksi gave the update to Kitimat council members.

There was no major announcement from the meeting, which included updates such as the fact the company is about 50 per cent complete on finishing the Forest Service Road (FSR) which leads from Haisla Boulevard to their proposed liquefaction plant for natural gas at Bish Cove.

A lot of their early works is

complete, including tree falling and burning. Deep soil mixing is also done, which is a key part of stabilizing the foundation of the site.

Meanwhile they have plans to soon increase the size of their work camp. The Kitimat LNG project currently has a 135 room camp in place right now.

“Early in the new year we’re expecting to increase it to about 287,” said Molinksi.

Then sometime around the middle of 2014 they’ll grow that further to 600 rooms.

Their camp is approximately in the area of the former Eurocan Pulp and Paper mill. As for the Eurocan building itself, the company is still working out a plan to

demolish the structures.

They do plan to use an existing landfill on the site though.

They have remediation work to do, and will have to receive a permit from the province before they can re-open it.

Of course the big question as far as Kitimat LNG goes these days is relating to their plan to dump marine clay into nearby Clio Bay, which is said to improve the ecosystem of the bay’s floor.

Molinski says they still have a ways to go before they start doing any of that work. That includes creating an execution plan and then receiving a permit from the Department of Fisheries and Oceans.

“It’s still some time before we get started on that,” he said.

“We still have a lot of work to do to get everything in place.”

Phil Germuth asked what sort of work would be done to protect fish smolts released from the Kitimat Hatchery, which use the shores of Clio Bay on their way to the ocean.

Tim Edgell, a marine biologist working with the company, said they are working on plans to avoid impacting the smolt population. “It’s important that the shallow coastal waters are free of sediments because that’s where the fish would be traveling,” he said.

He added that they are collecting ocean information.

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Friday, January 3, 2014 The Northern Connector

Terrace drinkers give generously

Coats provided …

By Josh Massey

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

TERRACE - Customers of the provincial government liquor store here responded generously on two occasions in 2013 – once in the aftermath of the early summer southern Alberta floods and again in late fall for typhoon relief in the Philippines.

The local store

ranked first for its size category and eighth for all government liquor stores by collecting $4,418 from customers for typhoon relief.

Donations collected for the Philippines were sent to the Canadian Red Cross.

In all 195 BC government liquor stores participated.

“We’d like to commend our customers and

By Michael Kellett

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

PRINCE GEORGE A professor at the University of Northern British Columbia and his student are south – really south.

Outdoor Recreation and Tourism Management (ORTM) professor Patrick Maher and fourth-year ORTM student Jody Phibbs are participating in Students on Ice Antarctic Expedition 2013.

The ship-based journey is exploring Patagonia, the Antarctic Peninsula, and surrounding Southern Ocean.

It involves 70 university and high school students from around the world, as well as an international team of staff, consisting of 20 scientists, historians, artists, explorers, authors, and educators.

In 2009, UNBC participated in the first-ever university courses offered in Antarctica with Students on Ice. This time however, there will be a greater concentration on research.

“The last university trip was related more to teaching, where as we will be trying to incorporate more research this time around. We’ll be examining Antarctic tourism in terms of its positive and negative

impacts across economic, social, and environmental realms,” says Dr. Maher, a recently elected Fellow of the Royal Canadian Geographical Society. “This will be expanded upon with an evaluation of the management of tourism today as well as critiquing the options that might be best for the future.”

The travellers return to port on Jan. 10.

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northwest transmission line Snowmobiler and Winter Recreation Users Public Safety Notice Snowmobilers and winter recreationalists (cross country skiers, snow shoers, etc.) should be aware that the Northwest Transmission Line (NTL) is under construction, and the NTL right-of-way remains a construction zone with restricted access. This is required to avoid safety risks associated with such things as unmarked guy lines, construction materials and other potential hazards along the right-of-way, as well as for public and worker safety as construction activities continue.

In particular, over the past year many of the transmission structures for the NTL project have been installed. Most of these structures are supported by currently unmarked guy lines which can be very difficult to see against a snow background.

If you have any questions, please contact BC Hydro stakeholder engagement: 1 866 647 3334 or send an email to stakeholderengagement@bchydro.com

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TERRACE - Erik Hernes, Treasurer of Knights of Columbus Council 5149, presents Shelly Haynes-Marelli of the Ksan House Society with one of 12 new coats donated for children who access the society’s services.

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Friday, January 3, 2014 The Northern Connector

Superintendent’s report shows student improvements

By Martina Perry

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

PRINCE RUPERT - The annual Superintendent’s Report was reviewed at the December monthly school board meeting, with the report showing increases in Prince Rupert students’ English grades, but decreases in mathematics.

The report highlights the school district’s achievements for the school year and identifies what the district is doing to address areas with unsatisfactory achievement.

“The board of education is excited with the improvements our students have made. This is reflective of the hard work that goes on in classrooms every day to help advance our students. It also demonstrates that while we’ve done great there’s still work to be done,” Prince Rupert school board chair Tina Last said.

The Prince Rupert School District believes its focus on ear-

ly learning is helping improve the number of younger students meeting or exceeding expectations expectations for reading.

The report included Grade 4 foundation skills assessment (FSA) results to prove the theory, with the number of Grade 4 students meeting or exceeding expectations in the reading FSA test being 71 per cent this school year, up from 66 per cent in 2011/2012.

The number of Grade 4 aboriginal students meeting or exceeding expectations in the reading FSA has also increased to 63 per cent, up from 61 in 2011/2012.

However, FSA reading results for Grade 7 students remain an area of concern for the school district, with only 48 per cent of students meeting or exceeding expectations.

But Grade 7 students meeting or exceeding in the Writing FSA has improved. 65 per cent of all

“This is reflective of the hard work that goes on in classrooms every day to help advance our students”.

School board chair Tina Last

students performed well on the assessment, which is up from 57 per cent the previous year.

A total of 55 per cent of aboriginal students are ahead of the

provincial average, up from 44 per cent in 2011/2012. Results are now slightly above the provincial average.

The trend of improvement in English skills continued with older students, with 94 per cent of Grade 10 students meeting or exceeding expectations in the blended final marks for English, up two per cent from the previous year.

English 10 blended final marks for aboriginal students are very close to the provincial average for aboriginal students at 89 per cent, up from 86 in 2011/2012.

To ensure advances pursue, Faye Brownlie will continue to work with Grade 4 to 12 teachers to support literacy development and reading, writing and thinking connections.

Additionally, Fiona Morrison is doing workshops within the district to help support teachers in improving literacy instruction to primary and kindergarten students.

While Prince Rupert students

are making way in English aspects of their learning, improvements in mathematics needs to be seen.

Grade 4 numeracy FSA results show that only 47 per cent of students are meeting or exceeding expectations, which is down from 57 per cent last year.

The number of Grade 7 students meeting and exceeding the provincial average in numeracy FSA is up from 41 per cent last year to 48 per cent, however this is still below the provincial average.

Furthermore, Pre-Calculus Mathematics results at the Grade 10 level are not close to provincial averages.

To aim for better results in mathematics next year, the district is working with teachers and offering workshops with Carol Fullerton that will focus on improving instruction in mathematics.

“The board of education is confident that we will continue to improve the results of our students,” Last said.

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250-624-5335 297 1st Ave. East, Prince Rupert , BC Newsroom Contacts: Rod Link - Terrace: newsroom@terracestandard.com The Northern Connector is a Division of Black press Group Ltd. and is published each weekend in northwestern B.C. by the leading community newspapers in Kitimat, Terrace and Prince Rupert. It is the only publication to provide a comprehensive service to the many and diverse communities which make up this portion of the province. This Northern Connector is a member of the British Columbia Press Council, a self-regulatory body governing the province’s newspaper industry. The council considers complaints from the public about the conduct of member newspapers. Directors oversee the mediation of complaints, with input from both the newspaper and the complaint holder. If talking with the editor or publisher does not resolve your complaint about coverage or story treatment, you may contact the B.C. Press Council. Your written concern, with documentation, should be sent to B.C. Press Council, 201 Selby St., Nanaimo, B.C. V9R 2R2.

For information, phone 888-687-2213 or go to www.bcpresscouncil.org

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The Northern Connector Friday, January 3, 2014

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Supreme Court makes ruling striking down prostitution laws gally be able to communicate openly, operate brothels and profit from prostitution.

“This is a total victory,” Pivot Legal Society staff lawyer Kat Kinch said after the ruling was announced Friday. “Sex trade workers’ lives can’t be sacrificed at the cost of regulating prostitution.”

Kinch predicted it will enable a range of practical safety measures for sex work-

By Jeff Nagel The Northern connector

OTTAWA - A Supreme Court of Canada ruling to strike down Canada’s prostitution laws is being hailed in B.C. as an irrevocable step toward protecting sex trade workers from violent predators.

The unanimous 9-0 ruling gives the federal government one year to craft new legislation or else the industry will le-

ers, including better screening of customers, spotting by friends or peers, hiring of security guards, and the use of apartments or hotel rooms.

She said the ruling makes it clear Ottawa must put safety first in considering any further legislation, adding sex workers should be at the forefront of those discussions.

The court referred to the murders by Port

Coquitlam serial killer Robert Pickton in striking down the law as a violation of constitutional rights to life, liberty and security of the person.

“A law that prevents street prostitutes from resorting to a safe haven… while a suspected serial killer prowls the streets, is a law that has lost sight of its purpose,” it said. “If screening could have prevented one woman from jumping into Robert Pick-

“You could have legalization of prostitution as you have it in Nevada, which is the state acting as a pimp, controlling and regulating prostitution and using criminal law to keep it off the street,” he added.

Lowman said he thinks federal Conservatives are more likely to gravitate toward the so-called Nordic model used in Sweden that makes it legal to sell

ton’s car, the severity of the harmful effects [of the law] is established.”

SFU criminology professor John Lowman said the Harper government faces a tough choice of approaches if it opts to bring in new legislation.

He said the U.S. approach of criminalizing both the purchase and sale of sex hasn’t worked well, although there are variations south of the border.

sex but not to buy it, while also criminalizing any third party profiting from the sex trade.

“What you have is the ridiculous spectre in countries with that legislation that they can only focus on street prostitution,” he said. “Because what are the police going to do? Set up escort services and massage parlours in order to entrap men. I don’t think that would fly in Canadian law.”

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Friday, January 3, 2014 The Northern Connector

Police dog is called into action

Helping out …

TERRACE - Rook, a police dog based in Terrace, has been called out on several occasions.

In late December, a van driven by a possible impaired and pro-

hibited driver, failed to stop for police. The vehicle was driven into the ditch at Mailbox Point/ Catt Point roads and the driver fled. Police dog Rook tracked the

man who was hiding in the bush and snow. Police arrested a 28 year- old man. He was treated for minor injuries he received while being apprehended.

STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER / THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

TERRACE - Graydon Takhar was with grandfather Mo Takhar when he donated $750 through his Gobind Mall business to Major Rosa Moulton of the Salvation Army in Terrace. It was used to finance the Salvation Army’s Christmas hamper program and other programs provided by the Army throughout the year.

Terrace council sees need for LNG education

By Josh Massey

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

TERRACE - City council is poised to take on the role of energy educator.

A resolution was put forward Dec. 9 by councillor Brian Downie that in order to engage communities in discussions about proposed liquefied natural gas projects “the city to seek partners to host a series of forums about LNG and the impacts on the community.”

As many as six liquefied natural gas (LNG) processing facilities, with accompanying natural gas pipelines, are at various stages of the application process for permits to build in northwestern B.C. Downie argued that “the differences between a successful project and one that is riding out the storm is for the community to know more.

Where projects went best was where they knew more about the

project and the impacts.”

He said that a recent LNG forum hosted by NDP MP Nathan Cullen that brought together members from industry, First Nations, government and the community was a starting point.

He proposed that Terrace seek to bring more groups together for similar meeting in the future where speakers from various perspectives could be hosted, in three or four months.

Some suggestions from council included councillor Stacy Tyers suggesting that when consultants come to Ter-

race in February to do a housing needs assessment that they could be included in one of the public meetings.

Mayor Dave Pernarowski and councillor Marylin Davies suggested that the Terrace Economic Development Authority play a key role in organizing the events.

The motion that the city host LNG awareness events in the future was carried.

Groups in the city have already played host to a variety of conferences aimed at skills development in light of new projects.

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Place of Worship

Place of Worship

Pacific Cornerstone Baptist Church

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Place of Worship

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Place of Worship

Place of Worship

FIRST UNITED CHURCH

Sunday Service at 11:00 am “Know What You Believe and Why You Believe It.�

Pastor Mickeal Hoffman 1340 Kingfisher Avenue Church Ph. 250-632-5623

1180 Kingfisher Ave. • Ph. 250-632-7149 Email: kituc@telus.net • Rev. Dr. Dona Lethbridge www.kitimatunitedchurch.ca/index.html

Morning Worship Service 10:30 am

Phone 250-632-4924 • www.pacificcornerstone.com

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Sunday, January 5 11 am Worship Service

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1760 Nalabila Boulevard Ph 250-632-2215 Father Kenneth Uwaoma www.catholickitimat.ca Saturday, Jan. 4 7:30 pm Celebration of the Eucharist

Sunday, Jan. 5 10:00 am Celebration of the Eucharist

FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH 840 Columbia Ave. – Ph. 250-632-6014 Email: kitimatfbc@telus.net Rev. Tim Coleman

Sunday, Jan. 5, 2013 Worship 11:00 am EVERYONE WELCOME

REDEEMER LUTHERAN CHURCH

Christ Church Anglican

Pastor Clint Magnus • ph. 250-632-6962

All are Welcome

CONGREGATION OF LUTHERAN CHURCH CANADA

KITIMAT 1474 Nalabila Blvd.

11:00 am Sunday Worship 9:45 am Sunday School

TERRACE 5010 Agar Ave. 250.631.7825 2:00 pm Sunday Worship

Presbyterian CHURCH

Lahakas and Nalabila Ph. 250-632-2044 or 250-639-6464

Sunday, Jan. 5

Second Sunday after Christmas 10:30 am Worship Service and Sunday School Worship Leader: Andrew McIntosh “Come and thank God for a brand new year.�

1220 Kingfisher Ave. • Ph. 250-632-7812

Kitimat Worship Directory

The Epiphany of the Lord Sunday, January 5 at 10:30 am Eucharist with Fr. Luke Anker God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us.

The Harvest THE HARVEST MINISTRIES CANADA

Held at the EAGLE CENTRE THEATER 193 Nechako Centre, Kitimat Ph. 250-632-5501 email: the-harvest@live.ca View live webstreaming of Saturday Services at: www.theharvest.ca/live

Saturday Night Service

Saturday, January 4 at 7 pm

EVERYONE WELCOME!!!

For information on placing a church listing, please call 250-632-6144, or email classifieds@northernsentinel.com

We’re on the net at www.bcclassiďŹ ed.com

A8 www.bclocalnews.com/bc_north www.bclocalnews.com /bc_north

Travel

Travel

Employment

Help Wanted

Employment

Childcare

A FIT female worker required for personal care, appointments/transferring. Part time weekends (6+ hrs). Full part time around 20+ hours/wk, $15/hr starting. No experience needed, on the job training.

National & World travel optional (Sweden 2014) Contact Allan: 250-635-4992 or PM at: allan_heinricks@telus.net for interview. SERIOUS enquiries/appliers only, please.

Experienced parts person required immediately for James Western Star in Williams Lake.

Full time, competitive wages, benefits and signing bonus.

Fax resume to 250-398-6367 or email: nwejr@jamesws.com

ABC’s & 123’s Childcare, licensed daycare, has spaces available for children 12 months and older. Open Mon. to Fri. 8:00am to 5:30pm. Located on Dairy Ave. Terrace. For more information please call Naoise: 250-635-8889

CENTURY PLAZA HOTEL Best Rates. 1.800.663.1818 century-plaza.com

DISCOVERY CHILDCARE is seeking a casual employee with a minimum of an Assistant Licence to Practice. Early Childhood Education or Infant/Toddler license to practice is a plus! Wage is based on education level. Please email ddcc@citytel.net, fax resume to 250-624-6345, or call Lisa at 250-624-6979

Employment Business Opportunities TRAIN TO be an Apartment/Condominium Manager online! Graduates get access to all jobs posted with us. 33 years of success! Government certified. www.RMTI.ca or 1800-665-8339, 604-681-5456.

Career Opportunities MUKS-KUM-OL HOUSING Society, a member of M’akola Group of Societies seeking: Office Coordinator, Tenant Re-

Looking for on-call child care for evenings and weekends for twin toddlers. Must have a big heart and be ready for fun. Care to be provided in our home. Wages to be negotiated. Upper Thornhill area.

250-641-2154 or s.disney@gmail.com

Education/Trade Schools INTERIOR HEAVY EQUIPMENT OPERATOR SCHOOL. NO Simulators. In-the-seat training. Real world tasks.

Weekly start dates. Job board!

Funding options.

SignUp online! iheschool.com 1-866-399-3853

Help Wanted

Building Caretaker, Caretaker, Maintenance (2) in Prince Rupert. Visit MAKOLA.BC.CA for full job postings.

CLASS 1 driver required immediately to do local deliveries. 35-40 hours a week.

Wage based on experience.

This is a permanent position.

Contact Big River Distributors at 250-635-4981 or drop off resume at 3550 River Drive.

Information

Information

lations (2), Buildings Supervisor,

Prince Rupert Subway Full-time permanent food counter attendants needed for day and night shift work.

Starting wage $10.75/hr.

Benefit pkg. available to deserving candidates.

Duties: greeting customers, taking orders, food prep, making sandwiches, sweeping & mopping, etc.

Submit resume to: Mr. Naripjit Sahdra 601 2nd Avenue West, P.R. Phone - 250-627-1561 Fax - 250-627-8881 Email - naripjit@yahoo.com

We’re on the net at www.bcclassiďŹ ed.com

Wonderful Opportunity in a busy restaurant.

Rosario’s Restaurant

has openings for full time/part time COOKS, PREP-COOKS and SERVERS. Days and Evenings.

No experience necessary as we train.

Please email rosarioskitimat@gmail.com or bring resume to Rosario’s in Kitimat.

No phone calls please

Community Newspapers We’re at the heart of things™

Automotive

Automotive

AUTOMOTIVE TECHNICIAN Immediate opening for a Licensed Automotive Technician.

Experience in import vehicles an asset. Top wage package, pension plan and benefit package to the successful applicant. Please apply in person to:

Apply In Person at 3223 Emerson St., Terrace, B.C.

PICK UP

THURSDAYS

at 6:00 pm

DROPBOXES AT: • City Centre Hardware • Riverlodge • Cablecar at 14 GREYLING • Mac’s Convenience/Shell • Northern Sentinel OfďŹ ce 626 ENTERPRISE AVE.

AVAILABLE FRIDAY MORNINGS AT: • Kildala Grocery • Tony’s Corner Store • Husky Market • Esso • Overwaitea • Super Valu • Shoppers Drug Mart • Doris’ Deli

A. EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS t .JOJNVN ZFBS FYQFSJFODF BT KBOJUPS PS TJNJMBS QPTJUJPO t ,OPXMFEHF PG TUBOEBSE DMFBOJOH QSPDFEVSFT DIFNJDBMT QSPEVDUT BOE equipment t ,OPXMFEHF PG 8PSLQMBDF )B[BSEPVT .BUFSJBMT *OGPSNBUJPO 4ZTUFN t 1SFWJPVT FYQFSJFODF XPSLJOH JO B 'JSTU /BUJPOT DPNNVOJUZ BOE PS PSHBOJ[Btion is preferred t "CJMJUZ UP SFBE BOE VOEFSTUBOE MBCFMT BOE JOTUSVDUJPOT t "CJMJUZ UP XPSL VOEFS MJUUMF TVQFSWJTJPO t 1PTTFTT DVMUVSBM BXBSFOFTT BOE TFOTJUJWJUZ t 'MFYJCMF t 3FTQFDUGVM IPOFTU BOE USVTUXPSUIZ The successful applicant must be willing to undergo a criminal record check Salary " DPNQFUJUJWF TBMBSZ JT PGGFSFE 'VSUIFS JOGPSNBUJPO DBO CF PCUBJOFE BU www.kitselas.com Interested applicants should apply at their earliest convenience with a resume and cover letter to the attention of the Finance Clerk. Please reference “Janitor� and indicate clearly in your cover letter how your experience and qualifications meet the requirements of the position.

Please submit Resume with Cover Letter and names of Previous Supervisors for reference to: Carlene Casey 2225 Gitaus 5FSSBDF #$ 7 ( " finance@kitselas.com Tel: 250-635-5084 Fax: 250-635-5335

Help Wanted

LAUNDROMAT ATTENDANT is available for

JANITOR

www.thornhillmotors.com Help Wanted

Collators & Relief Drivers

NEEDED

Bring resume to: Prince Rupert Northern View 737 Fraser Street Prince Rupert, BC

WE NEED YOU!

Help Wanted

The Kitselas First Nation (KFN), located in Terrace BC, is seeking a Full Time Interim Janitor. This position is Interim to March 31st 2014, with possible extension.

Working under the supervision of the Housing/Public Works/Infrastructure Coordinator, the Janitor is responsible for performing custodial duties, minor maintenance and other miscellaneous duties in order to ensure KFN buildings and facilities are maintained in a healthy, safe and sanitary manner.

6309463 HIGHWAY 16 EAST, TERRACE

Help Wanted

KITSELAS FIRST NATION Job Opportunity

DEALER #7041

has a position for a

WEEKLY SUDOKU Solution For JANUARY 3

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

SPOTLESS CLEANERS

Gemma’s Boutiques

IN T! KITIMA

Friday,January January3,3,2014 2014 The Northern Connector Friday,

EmploymEnt opportunity EnVironmEntAl ASSESSmEnt ASSiStAnt mEtlAkAtlA StEwArdShip officE

The successful applicant will work in a team to participate in all aspects of receiving, processing, reviewing and responding to project applications from industry proponents and provincial and federal authorities in Metlakatla territory. Responsibilities will include participating in Environmental Assessment working group meetings, conducting field visits, community outreach, and maintaining filing and tracking systems.

Experience and Education • Degree or diploma in resource management, environmental studies, or First Nations studies. • Experience conducting technical review of scientific studies. • Familiarity with Environmental Assessment processes. • Knowledge of Coast Tsimshian culture and practices.

Skills & Abilities • Strong ability to communicate orally and in writing • Ability to manage multiple tasks and timelines • Ability to work individually with little supervision and as part of a dynamic team Please see full job posting for details at: Apply by Friday January 3rd, 2014 to Anna Usborne at ausborne@metlakatla.ca

We’re on the net at www.bcclassiďŹ ed.com

PRINCE RUPERT

250-624-8088 737 Fraser St, Prince Rupert

Help Wanted

The Key To

Your New Career

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

The Northern Connector  Connector Friday, Friday,January January3,3,2014 2014

Help Wanted

Help Wanted

CARRIERS WANTED

Help Wanted Cleaning Services

www.bclocalnews/bc_north www.bclocalnews.com /bc_north  A9

Cleaning Services

FURNACE & DUCT CLEANING PROFESSIONAL “CLEAN AIR & QUALITY SERVICE IS OUR PRIORITY� ! ew BLOWN-IN ATTIC INSULATION

N

TRUCK MOUNTED VACUUMS

GREAT

• • • • • • •

FURNACES • DUCTS CHIMNEYS • FIREPLACES BOILERS • PELLET STOVES SAWDUST • WOOD CHIPS AIR CONDITIONING ATTIC INSULATION REMOVAL SAWMILLS

COMMERCIAL • RESIDENTIAL MOBILE HOMES • INDUSTRIAL

FIRST JOB!

“CALL TODAY FOR PEACE OF MIND�

GREAT

FOR ALL AGES! MAKE

1-855-947-4550 www.priorityvac.ca

Sales

Sales

EXTRA MONEY! We are looking for an out going individual who enjoys meeting the public and is interested in the electronics industry.

We will train you to become a qualified cellphone customer representative in the ever-expanding cellphone industry.

This is a full time position with good benefits in an excellent working environment.

Please apply in person with resume: Attention Manager.

PRINCE RUPERT

250-624-8088 737 Fraser St, Prince Rupert

Trades, Technical

For Sale By Owner 2 New manufactured homes14 x 66 and 16 x 58. Both are 2 bdrm with ensuite, drywall interior and hardiplank siding, 4 upgraded kitchen appl. lots of extras setup in boulderwood trailer park. $123,000 each.

250-692-0264 250-692-7852

Timber Baron in Terrace is looking for a motivated Heavy Duty Mechanic. 5 years experience working on hydraulics, processors, and excavators is reqd. Welding is an asset.

Wages are based on experience. Home every night.

Please send resume to Mike@timberbaron.ca

2 & 1 bdrm apts & 1suite, new flooring and paint available now, $725 & $625 & $475/mo 2 ref’s req’d, also shared accommodation trailer for rent with option to buy 250-6359333, or 250-641-1534 cell

Susan Maroney is accepting appointments for New Year’s Readings. Book your appointments now. www.susanmar imaroney.ca 250-641-9483

Financial Services IF YOU own a home or real estate, Alpine Credits can lend you money: It’s That Simple.

Your Credit / Age / Income is not an issue. 1.800.587.2161.

Legal Services

Apt/Condo for Rent

CLIFF SIDE APARTMENTS 1123-1137 Borden Street Adult-oriented.

Quiet location with harbour view.

Heat and hot water included.

Minutes walking to downtown and hospital.

References required.

1, 2, or 3 bedroom suites.

Some furnished.

Prince Rupert

250-624-5800 FREE HEAT AND

4710 Keith Ave., Terrace

HOT WATER

Bachelor 1 and 2 bedroom

APARTMENTS Largest, Brightest Suites Shiny Hardwood Floors Unfurnished & Furnished Daily - Weekly - Monthly

Kidney disease strikes families, not only individuals.

ABSOLUTELY NO PARTIERS INCLUDES HEAT!

OCEANVIEW APTS (250)632-2822 Kitimat

THE KIDNEY FOUNDATION OF CANADA

GATEWAY APARTMENTS

www.kidney.ca

Landscaping SNOWBLOWING Residential Driveways and Odd/Handyman jobs Terrace/Thornhill areas Optimum Lawn Care 250-922-4534 or Cell/Text 250-877-0965

Telephone Services DISCONNECTED PHONE? National Teleconnect home phone service. No one refused! Low monthly rate! Calling features and unlimited long distance available. Call National Teleconnect today! 1866-443-4408. or visit online: www.nationalteleconnect.com

Pets & Livestock

Pets Purebred golden lab puppies.

Great family dogs. De wormed and ready for loving homes. $650 250-975-0299

Merchandise for Sale

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Rentals

Services

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE.

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Real Estate

JOURNEYMAN AUTOMOTIVE Service Technician(s) in Hanna Alberta. Hanna Chrysler Ltd. offers competitive wages, relocation allowance, negotiable depending on experience. Bright, modern shop.

Full-time permanent with benefits. Friendly town just 2 hours from major urban centres. More info at: hannachrysler.ca. Fax 403-854-2845; Or send by email to: chrysler@telusplanet.net

Psychics

Cellphone Consultant

WE NEED YOU!

Employment

Misc. for Sale For Sale- 4 All season tires 215/65R16 Good tread, on rims. 800 OBO Text David 778-803-3649 For Sale - Gas fireplace, good condition. $300 OBO Text David 778-803-3649 HOT TUB (SPA) COVERS. Best price. Best quality. All shapes & colours available.

1-866-652-6837 www.thecoverguy.com/ newspaper?

STEEL BUILDINGS/Metal buildings 60% off! 20x28, 30x40, 40x62, 45x90, 50x120, 60x150, 80x100 sell for balance owed! Call 1-800-4572206 or visit us online at: www.crownsteelbuildings.ca

McBride & 8th Prince Rupert Unfurnished - Furnished (Furnished short Term Rentals Available) Close to downtown Adult-oriented No Pets

627-7137 Homes for Rent 3 bd home 2 baths, D/W, W/D, F/S, rural setting, large fenced back yard. 10min to town, prefer quite, tidy, working couple. $1100.00 avail.

Jan 1st 250-615-0076 3 Bdrm House for Rent. Avail Dec 28th. N/S, N/P. Working people only. $1,500/mo.

Damage Dep. Req’d.

250 615-6932 / 250 635-9731 4 bdrm, 2 bath furnished house for short-term rent from Feb 1 to July 31. Pets on approval. Located in Jackpine Flats. $1,800/month.

250 635-0706 For Rent- Lg 2 bdrm 2 bath trailer, w/d, f/s, d/w, wood stove electric heat, gas furnace, large yard, utilities extra.

Available Feb. 250-631-9979 House For Rent - 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom, large kitchen with deck and shop in the backyard. Fully furnished including 5 appliances, all utilities, hydro, TV and internet.

Available January. $4,000/mo.

NS, NP. Call 250-635-7347.

PR: 3 bdrm+, 2 1/2 bath, 3 levels, fenced yard, hot tub, gas heat/hot water not included. $1,500/mo. Call Lynn at Randall North 250-627-1414.

PR: Furnished 2 bdrm, 1 bath house. New appliances. Renovated. Harbour views. $1,200/month + utilities.

Contact davesnell@shaw.ca PR: House w/3 bdrms for rent.

Looking for contractors. furn. all-incl. harbour-view.

Mark @ 250-622-2203

A10  www.bclocalnews.com/bc_north www.bclocalnews.com /bc_north Friday, A10 Friday,January January3,3,2014  2014 The Northern Connector

Show Winter Who’s Boss

NEID ENTERPRISES LTD. Homes for Rent Short-term Rental- 3 BDRM Hse w/ng heat in town $1,600 + utils. Avail. immediately for 4 months. Call 250-877-7161 or Kimcamacazi@yahoo.ca

Skyline Manor

1200 Summit Ave. Bachelor & 1 Bedroom Suites.

Security Entrance, harbour views, balconies, storage, laundry facilities, hot water & heat included.

Sorry no pets.

Close to hospital, bus stop & downtown.

References required.

Contact our on site Manager at 250-624-6019

Cars - Sports & Imports

THIS WEEKS SPECIALS 2010 Lexus LE

6 Spd Manual V6, Leather, Sunroof, Heated Seats, Push Button Start, Loaded with 19,286 kms

$29,995

#4140A

2011 CHEVROLET EQUINOX LT AWD, Leather, FlexFuel, Upgraded Sound System, Dual Climate Control, A/C, C/C, 42,933 kms

Townhouses PINE CREST 3 Bdrm. 2 Level T/H 1 ½ bath No pets Call Jenn 622-4304

$25,995

#4277A

2009 Toyota Camry

PRINCE RUPERT Harbourview Apts.

2 & 3 Bdrm, 1 bath, Start at $600 No pets 627-6697 or 622-2699 TOWNHOMES in KITIMAT 3 bdrm, 1 ½ bath, carport Start $700. Sorry no Pets.

Call Greg 639-0110

Cars - Sports & Imports

Sunroof, P/L, P/W, P/M, P/S, Alarm, A/C, CD Play, Cruise, Dual Airbags, 60,000 kms

$16,995

#T439

Legal Notices Notice to Creditors Estate of Anthony Hector Delorey, Deceased 1297 Overlook Street, Prince Rupert BC V8J Anyone having claim against the Estate of Anthony Hector Delorey, is hereby notified Under Section 38 of the Trustee Act that; any claim against this Estate be sent to the Executor Mary Christina Harding, 64 Glendale Way Cochrane, AB T4C 1H9 before January 30, 2014.

4912 Highway 16 West, Terrace, BC V8G 1L8

250-635-6558 or 1-800-313-6558 DL#5957

www.terracetoyota.ca

KYLE GONZALEZ

A healthy local economy depends on you

SHOP LOCALLY

Legal Notices

Legal Notices

Environmental Protection Notice Application for Permit Amendment Approval Under The Provisions of the Environmental Management Act. We, Ridley Island Terminals (RTI), at Post Office Bag 8000 - 2110 Ridley Island Prince Rupert, B.C. V8J 4H3 intended to submit this amendment application to the Director to amend Permit: PE-06698, issued August 28, 2000, which authorizes the discharge of effluent from an existing coal handling facility.

The land upon which the facility is situated on a 35 - acre parcel on RTI leased land and includes: a portion of Parcel N (Plan #10929) Lot 1 (Plan #10937, 10938, and 10939), located on Ridley Island, near Prince Rupert within the Skeena - Queen Charlotte Regional District, in North-western British Columbia.

The amendment requests that an additional sediment pond, with an average monthly discharge rate of 68,000 m3 and maximum discharge rate of 135,000 m3, be added to treat additional effluent associated with the expansion of the existing RTI coal handling facility. The effluent may be discharged up to 24 hours/day, 365 days/year and will consist of surface water runoff collected through a perimeter sediment catchment and settling pond system to drop out suspended solids.

The sediment collection pond was constructed using Ministry of Environment (MOE) guidelines. Effluent will be monitored regularly for compliance with MOE permit constraints. Any person who may be adversely affected by the proposed amendment and wishes to provide relevant information may, within 30 days after the last date of posting, publishing, service or display, send written comments to the applicant, (C/O R. Friday) with a copy to the Regional Manager, Environmental Management Branch, PO Box #5000 – 3726Alfred Street, Smithers, B.C., V0J 2N0.

The identity of any respondents and the contents of anything submitted in relation to this application will become part of the public record.

“Your Recreation Specialist�

4921 Keith Ave., Terrace, B.C.

1IPOF t 'BY

The Northern Connector

Coming Events is complimentary service

by The Northern Connector for non-profit groups or organizations who do not charge admission for their events and meetings.

Submissions are published on a space available basis. Our deadline is Monday 3 p.m. each week.

TERRACE JAN. 5 - Bring your Christmas tree for the fire and enjoy horsey rides, hot chocolate and marshmallows at 1 p.m. at the Thornhill community grounds. Admission by donation. Christmas may be over but there is still fun to be had before the holidays end.

Christmas trees can be dropped off before this date. Please remove any tinsel from the trees before dropping them off.

Brought to you by the Skeena Valley Fall Fair Association, Totem Saddle Club and Thornhill Fire Department.

JAN. 21 – Pacific Northwest Music Festival committee meeting at 7:30 p.m. at the Terrace Academy of Music. The regular monthly meeting to plan the music festival is the second Tuesday of every month, If interested in helping out or for more details, come to the meeting or call Fiona at 635-9089.

ONGOING FOOD FOR Fines: during the month of December, bring a bag of non-perishable food items for the food bank to the Terrace Public Library and library staff will waive your overdue fines.

THE 48TH annual Pacific Northwest Music Festival syllabus is now available online at pnmf.ca and at Sight and Sound on Keith Ave. Deadline for entries is Jan. 15, 2014.

The music festival will be March 27 to April 12, 2014. Competitors come from all over the pacific northwest to participate in band, choir, piano, voice, speech arts, dance, strings, woodwinds and brass and concludes with the gala on the last night of the festival. For more details, call Fiona at 6359089.

THE THIRD annual Kids Helping Kids sells ornaments until Dec. 21 at Don Diegos. There is a minimum donation for the ornaments with all proceeds going to the purchase of toys for the Salvation Army. Don Diegos will match the total amount raised.

FREE FLU clinics in Terrace for those who qualify for seasonal influenza and pneumonia vaccinations. All clinics

Inside

are drop-in and include the lunch hour. Drop-in clinics at Skeena Mall Dec. 13 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Drop-in clinic at the health unit Dec. 20 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. If you have any questions, call the health unit at 631-4200. If you have general questions about the vaccinations, call Health Link at 811.

TERRACE PHOTOGRAPHY Club meets monthly on the third Tuesday of the month at 7 p.m. at the Terrace Art Gallery. Want to enjoy photography more?

Open the aperture of your mind and come and see us. Two field trips a month and much more.

Contact information thru our website northernlensescameraclub.ca.

NORTHWEST BC Metis meet the third Wednesday of the month (except July and August) at 7 p.m. room 306, 4536 Park Ave. Everyone welcome. For more details call 638-1199 or Beverly at 635-6864 or terracemetis@ymail. com.

THE SALVATION Army holds Toonie Wednesdays every first and third Wednesday of the month – all clothing is $2. All children’s clothing $2 or less is half price.

NORTHERN BRAIN Injury Support Group meets at 4 p.m. on the

COMING EVENTS

www.bclocalnews.com /bc_north

Friday, January 3, 2014

second and fourth Monday of the month in the boardroom at the Terrace and District Community Services Society (3219 Eby St.). For more details, call Deb 1-866-979-4673.

THE TERRACE Toastmasters Club meets every second and fourth Wednesday of the month at the Graydon Securities Building on Keith Ave. (next to Irlybird).

For more details, call Randy 635-2151 or Rolf 635-6911.

KITIMAT JAN. 9 - The Kitimat Seniors, Branch 129, will hold their monthly meeting at 1 p.m. at the Seniors Centre.

ONGOING THE KITIMAT Public Library’s popular Mother Goose StoryTime takes place Mondays at 10:30 to 11:15 a.m.

Bring your little one for a morning of felt stories, sing-songs, finger puppets and a ton of giggles.

Please register in person or contact the library at 632-8985. Free.

PICKLE BALL every Tuesday and Thursday, from 9:30 a.m. to 11 a.m. at the Riverlodge.

For those aged 50+. Call the Kitimat Seniors’ Centre at 632-3475 for further information.

NEW CHURCH in town, gathering togeth-

er for a conservative Christian fellowship.

Preaching the word of God, singing spiritual songs and hymns. Vision for revival in Kitimat and Canada. Citywide prayer network. Phone Cathy Speitelsbach for more details 632-2211.

THE KITIMAT Quilters Guild meetings are the first Thursday of every month, held at M.E.S.S. Sewing room.

All experience levels welcome. (19+) Call Aileen at 632-6225 or Wanda at 632-4458.

KITIMAT PUBLIC Library is offering free basic computer tutorials, sponsored by the federal government. If you would like to learn how to search the Internet for jobs, medical information, send and receive photos, or simply browse the computer for matters of interest, please call Carley to book your free appt 6328985.

HEALTHY BABIES drop in is held every Thursday from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. at the Kitimat Child Development Center. They welcome families throughout pregnancy and up to one year (older siblings welcome). Come meet other parents and infants over light refreshments with support from the CDC staff and a Public Health Nurse. For more

details, call 632-3144.

CHILD DEVELOPMENT Centre Family Fun Spot Drop-In Monday and Friday afternoons 1-3 p.m., Wednesday mornings 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Ages 0-5 welcome “A Great place for families to meet over coffee and toys!” Contact 250-632-3144 for more information.

KITIMAT FIBRE Arts Guild: Interested in knitting, spinning, weaving, or any other fibre? For more information phone Maureen 250-632-5444.

KITIMAT MULTIPLE Sclerosis - I have M.S. but M.S. does not have me. You are not alone, male or female, and the Kitimat M.S. group would like to be here for you. Total confidentiality. For more information contact Mary at 250-639-6016.

AGLOW OF Kitimat All are welcome at our Care Group and Bible Study for men and women, singles or married, Thursday at 7:00 P.M. For information phone Brenda at 250-6321616.

DID YOU KNOW that literacy is more than just being able to read?

The Kitimat Adult Literacy Program provides FREE tutoring services for adult interested in improving their reading, writing, math, commu-

by

Dr. Joe Zucchiatti B.Sc., D.D.S., F.A.D.I.A., M.A.D.I.A

COMBINING SCIENCE, ART AND EXPERIENCE Flyers, coupons deals and money saving tips all in one place!

IN A SOOTHING ATMOSPHERE.

Find, browse, share and favourite WKH EHVW Á\HUV ZLWK RXU QHZ Á\HU YLHZLQJ H[SHULHQFH

Toll Free: 1-800-406-1188

For your comfort, we have overhead televisions and headsets.

We welcome all new patients.

Wheel Chair Accessible

nication, and information technology skills.

Is English NOT your first language? We provide FREE tutoring and small group English as a Second Language (ESL) classes. For more information please call Brandi at 250-632-7393 or to see what’s happening at the Community Corner check us out at www.kitimatcommunityservices. ca/KALP.html or find us on facebook.

PRINCE RUPERT CANADIAN CANCER Society is looking for volunteers to help with the daffodil campaign in April.

Please contact Judy Rea at (250) 624-3913 for more details.

THE HERITAGE Advisory Committee is looking for new members, if interested, drop a note to Heritage Advisory Committee, PO Box 181, P.R, B.C, V8J 3P6.

LAST MINUTE Market Sat. 9am - 12:30 at the Moose Hall. Craft items, baking, home business and yard sale items. For table rentals, call Rosa 624-4787 or Kathleen 624-5652.

Coffee is always on!

PRINCE RUPERT Seniors Centre Bingo Fridays 1- 3pm. Everyone 19 and older welcome.

PRINCE RUPERT Alcoholics Anonymous. If

you want to drink, that’s your business. If you want to stop, that’s ours.

Prince Rupert A.A, 6271119.

AL-ANON MEETINGS: First Presbyterian Church, 233 4th Ave. E in basement. Tues.

8pm. All are welcome.

Call 627-4899.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Drug problem? We can help Mon 8-9pm, 223 4th Ave. East, Presbyterian Church (side door).

JOIN THE YWCA for a 2 day FREE-Train-theTrainer course on taking action against abuse of older adults. For more info. contact project co-ordinator Renu at rchaudhry@ywcavan. org or 604-895-5790.

THE PRINCE Rupert Breast Cancer Support Group invites any woman living with cancer to attend monthly luncheons every 3rd Sat. each month at noon at the Crest Hotel.

FRIENDSHIP HOUSE hosts: AamaGoot Power Puff Girlz Club (ages 7-12) Tues.

3- 5pm, 3rd floor, AamaGoot Women’s Carving Learn to Carve Wed. 6- 9pm, Main level back entrance.

AamaGoot Ladyz Club (18yrs +) Learn new artistic designs through sewing, beading, etc. Sat. 14pm, 3rd floor.

If you can provide a loving home for a Shelter pet, please call the Humane Society in Kitimat at 250-632-7373. They are located at 1000 Eurocan Way.

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SPORTS

Friday, January 3, 2014 The Northern Connector

Marlins host Winter Invitational swim meet Contributed

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

KITIMAT - The Kitimat Marlins swim club hosted the Winter Invitational swim meet recently with teams from the Bulkley Valley, Terrace and Prince Rupert also in attendance.

The Marlins had some excellent results with many new Provincial qualifiers, medalists, a pool record and many personal best times. With a strong showing from all 40 swimmers the Kitimat Marlins took first place for overall points out of the four teams in attendance.

Kleanza Cathers took a silver medal for overall points in the 1314 girls division. Along the way she co-broke the pool record in the 50 meter butterfly in the 13-14 girls.

Her time of 31.58 in the event was identical to friend and competitor Avery Movold from Prince Rupert.

They now both own the pool record, a rare event indeed.

Brander Pacheco (15) tied for the gold medal in the 15 and over boys with Brandan Hagen (16) of the Prince Rupert Rapids. On the way he achieved his fifth and sixth AAA Provincial qualifying time in the 100 backstroke and 1500 meter freestyle.

Zachary Dumas (14) took the

silver medal in the 13-14 boys division. Along the way Dumas reached his second and third AA Provincial qualifying time in the 400 meter IM and 1500 meter freestyle allowing him to compete in Chilliwack at the AA Provincial champs late February. Dumas also had the largest one swim improvement, a whopping three minute and 23 second improvement in the event. He also swam personal best times in all seven of his events.

Adrianna Florit (9) took the silver medal in the 10 and under girls division.

Gabriel Lamarre (12) took the bronze medal in the 11-12 boys division.

Ewan Thomopoulos (9) took the bronze medal in the 10 and under boys division.

All three swimmers also did the tough task of swimming personal best times in all 7 of their events.

Also taking medals were Robyn Alderman (17) silver in the 15 and over girls and Madison Szmata (12) in the 11-12 girls division.

Three other swimmers also made their first AA Provincial qualifying times and will join Dumas in Chilliwack for AA Provincial Champs. They were Hannah Pearson (11) qualified in 11 and under girls 200 meter backstroke, 200 and

CAMERON ORR / THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

A Kitimat Marlin during the Marlins-hosted swim meet.

400 IM. Leah Desousa (11) qualified in 11 and under girls 50 meter freestyle, 100 and 200 meter backstroke. Ethan Velho (13) qualified in the 12-13 boys 100 and 200 backstroke.

Other swimmers with the Marlins that achieved personal best times in all of their races were Angus Bathe (9), Archie Bathe (7), Laurence Boucher (13), Leah Desousa (11), Hayden Dobbin (14),

Alexis Florit (8), Gabriel Lamarre (12), Vanessa Lamarre (13), Ethan Manseau (7), Hannah Pearson (11), Faith Silva (7), Jaeden Silvestre (11), Marianne Tremblay (11) and Ethan Velho (13).

These sports quips for 2013 really do hit home

By Bruce Penton

THE NORTHERN CONNECTOR

• Golf writer Dan Jenkins on Twitter, as reported on golfworldmonday.com: “Charl has made three bogeys and a double in his last four holes. In South Africa, that’s known as Schwartzeling your pants.”

• Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: “Tim Tebow signed with the Patriots.

‘Belichick owed me a favor,’ explained Jesus.”

• Comedy writer Jim Barach: “The NFL has declined an offer to help promote Obamacare.

Apparently the NFL says they don’t want to get involved with something that right now falls in popularity somewhere between the Bengals and Aaron Hernandez.”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, on the Blackhawks’ plans to show off the Stanley Cup. “They would take the Cup to a Chicago Cubs game, but then they would have to explain what a championship is.”

• Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: “According to reports, David Beckham turned down an offer to try out for an unnamed NFL team. Considering he’s a 38-year-old man who’s never played the sport, I think we can narrow it down to the Jets and -well, it must’ve been the Jets.”

• Dickson: “Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen took their kids to Disneyland. Someone asked Brady if he wanted to see Grumpy and Snow White. His response: ‘Belichick and Tebow are here?’ “ • Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “Canadian curler Matt Dumontelle (the fifth man on Brier winner Brad Jacobs’s rink) has been suspended for two years after testing positive for an anabolic steroid. Suspicions were aroused when he started chucking his stones overhand.”

• Steve Rushin in Sports Illustrated: “In New York, John Tortorella was relieved of his

coaching duties for being too much like his own playoff beard (prickly, coarse and abrasive).”

• NBC’s Jay Leno, on the dying Cleveland fan who requested six Browns players serve as his pallbearers: “The bad news? They fumbled the coffin five yards from the grave.”

• Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon Express: “I’m guessing photographs of Toronto Maple Leafs championship teams were taken off a wall at Air Canada Centre to be colourized.”

• Colin Cowherd of ESPN, on Twitter, about Alex Rodriguez playing in in the minors on a rehab assignment two days prior to his anticipated suspension announcement: “ARod batting second, playing third and pleading the fifth in Trenton tonight.”

• Spotted in Mike Bianchi’s column in the Orlando Sentinel: ExNFLer E.J. Holub, on his 12 knee operations: “My knees look like

they lost a knife fight with a midget.”

• Greg Cote: “Morgan Shepherd, 71, became the oldest driver to start a NASCAR Sprint Cup race. You could tell Shepherd’s car. It was the one that left its turn signal on the entire race.

• Among David Letterman’s top 10 pieces of advice for young athletes: — Trash talking is part of the game, but always follow up the next day with an apology note — Talk to friends, family and clergy about which Kardashian is right for you.”

• R.J. Currie of sportsdeke.com: “Bombers quarterback Buck Pierce said he is not happy about his demotion to backup. Great. Now even his pride is injured.”

• Dickson again, on ARod celebrating his 38th birthday last week: “If you’re shopping for a belated gift, you can’t go wrong with clean urine.”

• Steve Rushin again, in a column about names of players in the long

history of Major League Baseball: “For the moment, the major leagues still have employed only four Balls (Art, Jeff, Jim and Neal), resulting in one Walk (Bob).”

• TNT’s Conan O’Brien, after Alex Rodriguez hit his first home run of 2013 on the same day as the season premiere of ‘Breaking Bad’: “It was a big day for drug dealers.”

• Cote: “Former Heat player Michael Beasley was arrested for possession of marijuana. Is that even news? That’s like me being found in possession of a donut.”

• Dwight Perry: “PierreEmerick Aubameyang scored a hat trick in his first game after signing with Germany’s Borussia Dortmund soccer team, and opponents and headline writers are already in agreement: This spells trouble.”

• Perry again: “A zoo in Henan, China was caught trying to pass off a dog as a lion. Hey, don’t laugh — Matt Millen got away with it for

years in Detroit.”

• Joe Sheehan, SI.com, after Peyton Manning’s seven-TD game against Baltimore to start the season: “A defence comprised of actual ravens wouldn’t be much worse than this.”

• Cote, on Twitter: “NFL opener delayed by weather and lightning threat. ‘That’s what you get for cutting Tebow,’ says God.” • Janice Hough of leftcoastsportsbabe.com: “Apparently teams are telling Tim Tebow he’s not an NFL quarterback.

Well, that never stopped Rex Grossman.”

• Cote: “The Harlem Globetrotters exhibition basketball franchise is for sale. Assets include a pail that you think is full of water but actually only contains confetti!”

• Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: During the U.S. Open’s men’s final, announcer, John McEnroe called an unruly fan a loudmouth jerk. Being called a loudmouth jerk by ‘Super Brat’ John McEnroe is like Don-

ald Trump telling you you’re having a bad hair day.”

• Blogger Bill Littlejohn, on a 49-year-old Brit raising more than $63,000 for charity by running 1,624 kilometres across Britain with a refrigerator on his back: “He says he was inspired watching Adrian Peterson carry the Vikings.”

• Dickson, on LeBron James honeymooning at an undisclosed location: “I think we can pretty much rule out Cleveland.”

• Janice Hough: “Only three things have kept the 2013 SF Giants from being a playoff contender – June, July and August.”

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “The NFL tabbed Bruno Mars to do halftime at the Super Bowl. This will satisfy the millions of NFL fans who are eager to find out who Bruno Mars is.”

Bruce Penton can be reached at brucepenton2003@yahoo.ca.