A8 • www.vicnews.com
Friday, November 22, 2013 - OAK
BAY NEWS
Oak Bay Family
Parenting in the age of iPads ■ TRAVIS PATERSON, NEWS STAFF
Get off the phone at dinner, dad. No texting during story time, mom. There was a time when the art of parenting was passed down generationally. Many of the traditional skills still apply, but parents today are also jumping into the completely new, and still unknown, world of smartphones and tablets in addition to computers and televisions. In some cases, teenagers are getting smartphones before their parents realize what the device is capable of. The challenge in 2013 isn’t keeping new technology from our children. It’s teaching adults to see technology as a way to connect with people and as a learning tool, and not something passive like TV that can isolate us, says Prof. Valerie Irvine, co-director of the Technology Integration and Evaluation Research lab at the University of Victoria. For some parents it means looking in the mirror at their own usage of smartphones and iPads. “Who is mentoring and guiding our kids’ (use of technology) if parents don’t have network literacy or know how to monitor it?,” Irvine asked.
Parental monitoring of phones and other device usage is a start, but parents also need to engage their children’s in the use of technology. Irvine suggests starting by the time they’re in kindergarten. “Cutting out technology is not where the world is at right now,” she says. “We need to encourage and teach them to make choices. The medium is a big role in their life. “There’s a criticism and worry about mobile phones but really, the mobile device allows connection between people. FaceTime, Skype and such programs connect us with others. In divorced households they’re great for children to connect, as well as with grandparents, and even for parents to connect with their parents for mentoring.” Though television tends to fixate its viewers, whereas smart devices demand at least some level of interaction, it’s generally accepted that all screen time be lumped together with a daily maximum. The Canadian Paediatric Society suggests no screen time for children younger than two, less than an hour for children two to four, and less than two hours of recreational screen time per day for ages five to 17.
Irvine stands behind it as a form of digital hygiene. Gradual development of appropriate use and informed decision-making through small steps is important. Making little judgment mistakes and having teachable moments when risks are small can help to develop the self-discipline needed by the time children reach the middle years. “Family values aren’t new, they just need to be updated to handle these mediums,” says Allison Rees, whose Living In Families Effectively (LIFE) seminars have guided hundreds of Greater Victoria parents through the challenges of child rearing. “Certainly we need screen-free zones, such as the kitchen, the kitchen table, the car, etc., to foster conversation.” Rees’ longtime colleague Alison Miller refers to the concept of social viruses. One such social virus is the process of letting a child who normally has restricted screen time visit a household with unlimited or unmonitored screen time. And that’s OK too, Rees says, as long as parent and child discuss the experience and can grow from it. Perhaps the child will get upset with their parents’ rules, which is an important part
the
of development. “There’s stories of teenagers who reach university and have no barometer for technology usage and are unable to stop themselves,” Rees says. “They’ll have to make their own decisions eventually. Be up front in conversation as much as possible about the amount of (television, Internet or device usage) while away from the (parents).” A small child doesn’t have a need for confidentiality, Rees reminds us. The more early dialogue the better. In fact, Irvine suggests to get the child their own smart device, such as an iPod (which does most of what an iPhone does but without the phone), but not until they’re school age and with limited use. “The iPod has all sorts of learning apps that can
This family’s life: Q&A Jessie Moore’s family includes her husband, Will, their sons – four-year-old Oliver and 18-month-old Jack – and their dog, Porter. Will is a high school teacher in the Saanich school district and Jesse teaches Grade 2/3 part-time in the Sooke district. She loves spending time with her family.
With consistent, dependable …financial advice… you can get there.
Q A
Jesse Moore and her husband Will Moore with their children, eighteen-month-old Jack, dog seven-year-old Porter and four-year-old Oliver in their home in Oak Bay. SHARON TIFFIN/NEWS STAFF
A
ISSUE
be downloaded and done together,” Irvine says. “Talk about the app, teach them how to assess apps and computer websites before they download or click on them.” Parental passwords can be set on the iPod, as well as other controls to limit what grade school kids can access. “Eventually, once they reach middle school,” Rees says, “they’re going to be able to access anything on the web that we can and they need to be prepared for that.” ● sports@vicnews.com
P
R
O
O
Thank you for supporting the WestShore Go2Guide. Please rev Our family loves to read and we are currently
PDF proof to by ensure enjoying Pete the Catthis books and stories Oliver Jeffers. and layout are correct.
Q A Q Dale Collins A Certified Financial Planner
How do you find time for “you,” in addition to your role as “mom”?
BIG
Alec Couros photo via Flickr, used under a CC-BYSA 2.0 license.
that the c
What is your family’s NOTE: favourite to share PDF proof fo This activity is a low-resolution together? final check only. As such, the colour and c may represent how the ad will appear Our favourite things to donot include walking through Uplands Park and spending time Island. print; ads willon be Pender crisper when printed.
The part of your day you most look forward to? Some of my own interests include reading and photography. I am part of a book club (we are My son attends the Oak Bay parent-owned currently reading ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ by John Green) preschool and our family loves being a part of this group of families. I love that I can be part of the preschool and also a camera club that friends and I with a shared thespend appropriate class with my son on my dutyPlease days andXalso time interest in photography set up.Elder I am continuing to work Planning Counselor with the wonderful friends I have made with the other instructions: on finding a balance between being a mom, a teacher, parents in the school. We are able to connect every and also finding time just for me. day after school as our kids play with OK each o Proof asother. is This connection with friends is part of my day that I most look What are you reading right now? What do you o Proof OK with changes indicated forward to. ● read with your sons? Dale Collins CFP EPC
Q
Office: 250-818-2616 Fax: 250-590-5721
o Revised Proof required
Notes: ______________________
___________________________ Need Help ___________________________ Understanding Your www.prosperity-planning.com ___________________________ Investments? ___________________________
Email: dale@prosperity-planning.com
Megan Herlaar CFP EPC
___________________________
Office: 250-589-2250 Fax: 778-265-0031 megan@ prosperity-planning.com www.prosperity-planning.com
___________________________
___________________________
___________________________
Authorized by: ________________