Volume 11, Issue 5
blackandpink.org
Page 7
Hello, beautiful people! Mx Zephy here, pronouns xe | xem. Thank you all so much for writing to me with your questions. Reading through your letters brings me so much joy in connecting with you. I can only print a few of them here, but I do read each and every one of them. I will try to respond to as many as I can. Gentle reminder folks. I cannot take on legal cases as I am not a licensed attorney. If you have a specific ask about something, I could provide direction or very general guidance. Again, I am not an attorney so I don’t want to give any response that might get your hopes up. That feels harmful to me. Also, for me to file briefs or engage in lawyerly activities is outside what the Ask Mx Zephy column can do. Understandably, I also received a number of requests for me to be a personal pen pal with about 25 of y’all. While I would love to and flattered, there were so many requests that I unfortunately can’t honor that. Keep the questions coming, but please stay within the bounds of the questions I can provide guidance on. Much love, Mx Zephy Hi Mx Zephy, I feel like I’m transgender inside. I feel like I am part female inside. I don’t feel right unless I am completely shaved. Why is that or why do I feel like that? -TRANS Inside All the love to you, TRANS Inside! I honor your courage to sit with these uncomfortable feelings. Let me start by saying that your feelings are valid. Body hair, whether you decide to keep or remove it, is an essential part of gender expression especially when words can’t affirm what you feel inside. Removing it may signal that I have control over my body. I can not only make decisions and
feel comfortable in my skin, but I deserve to. Body hair is also key to our social understanding of what is feminine and masculine. Having hair, whether on the arms, legs, or face, is one of the most socially powerful indicators of masculinity. Feminine bodies are socially seen as smooth and soft. What you may be feeling is a desire to affirm your gender. We have been taught what it means to be beautiful with such a limited understanding of beauty. Check in with yourself. If you have a space where you can journal without it being read, write it down. If not, sit with the thoughts that come up. Don’t try to ignore them. Let them wash over you and pass.
Respond to these two questions: 1. When I shave, I feel X. Maybe you feel empowered. Perhaps liberated. Maybe you feel more comfortable in your skin. Naming the feeling that you are experiencing is a great way to understand how you think and how you move in the world. 2. What can I learn from this feeling? Jot down or note in your head anything that comes up. The more you explore these feelings the more you will learn how to evaluate and respond to those feelings. Your feelings are like muscles, and need to be worked out.
