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SUMMER CAMP 101
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Help Finding the Right
“AWAY” CAMP
THE FIRST DENTAL VISIT: What You Need to Know
SELMA TO
MONTGOMERY: March Celebrates 50 Years
FEBRUARY2015 FREE
ANNUAL
CAMP ISSUE
THE PREMIER PARENTING MAGAZINE FOR CENTRAL ALABAMA
Finding the Right
FOR YOUR CHILD
22
ANNUAL
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FEBRUARY 2015
20 TIPS 12 10 Day Camp
SUMMER CAMP 101
Help Finding the Right
“AWAY” CAMP
BEFORE
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THE FIRST DENTAL VISIT: What You Need to Know
SELMA
TO MONTGOMERY: March Celebrates 50 Years
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THE FIRST DENTAL VISIT: WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
ON THE COVER: Grey, 9, and Maggie, 5, and their dog Wallace are planning their summer camp adventures now. PHOTO BY KIM BRANTLEY PHOTOGRAPY.
6 | birminghamparent | february 2015
Editor’s Note Parenting with Dr. Friedman Short Stuff School News February 2015 Calendar of Events A Page in a Book: The Gifts of Grandparents Plan a "Royal" Baby Shower for the Mom-to-Be Ask the Specialist: How Can I Build Heart Healthy Family Habits?
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10 TIPS BEFORE DAY CAMP STARTS
parenting
Parenting with Dr. Friedman
Q:
I have an 11-year-old son with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. He is on medication and is doing well in school and with friends. Yet over the past several years, he has gone through periods where he will pick the scabs of abrasions and won’t let them heal for a week or two. Then he will suddenly stop. I did the same thing as a child. Last summer he got into poison ivy. When we found out that none of his close friends were to be in his class for this year he seemed OK at first, but then picked at every scab. He was fine once school started but the destructive behavior was his initial reaction to disappointment and change. I am a compulsive overeater and I don’t want him to turn to unhealthy ways to cope with stress. How do we as parents teach our children healthy ways to cope with stress when they are nervous or worried about something?
A:
Children learn by example and from what they are told. The parent that responds with anxiety and worry to stress and change is more likely to have a child who models that behavior. If you can control your own response to crises, your son might gradually respond to challenges with less upset. Catch yourself when your fi rst reaction to a situation is overly intense. Give yourself a cue word such as “pause” to interfere with your impulse to catastrophize. Tone down your response by thinking through other possible responses and outcomes. Once a child has a worried style, you can use what psychologists call “cognitive behavior therapy” to attempt to alter the child’s way of thinking. Th is involves rationally thinking about the situation in a different way. For example, a person who is bothering your child might be seen as a mosquito – very annoying but very small and easily brushed away. The new class might be viewed as many smiling faces and
potential new friends. By changing the way the child thinks about the problem, you can sometimes lessen his anxiety. By teaching him to actively reformulate his problem, you teach him skills to cope with new variations of the stresses in his life.
safe side of the cage. By empowering your son, you can reduce his stress symptoms. While medication is not the fi rst or only way to cope with problems, it can sometimes be a part of the treatment. Your child has symptoms of anxiety and might benefit from
“I can’t always change the reality, but I can always change how I feel about it.” Teach your son to say, “I can’t always change the reality, but I can always change how I feel about it.” The fact that he doesn’t have friends in his new class on the fi rst day of school won’t change, but if he feels optimistic about making friends, he will feel better. Make him see the problem as one that is in his control. Rats placed in a cage where they get shocked develop ulcers when they have no control over the shock, but they don’t develop ulcers when they can push a button to end the shock or jump over a fence to a
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a consultation with a child psychiatrist or his pediatrician to consider anti-anxiety medication. Generally, medication works best when combined with psychotherapy.
Vivian K. Friedman Ph. D. is a child and family psychologist at UAB, Department of Psychiatry. Send questions for response in this column to Viviankf@gmail.com. No personal replies are sent.
2015 ADVENTURES IN SUMMER LEARNING Stimulating and engaging Summer Camps in Creative Writing, Dance, Music, Theatre, Visual Arts, Pre-Algebra, Algebra 1, Chemistry, Biology, Computer Game Programming and Engineering. See our website in March for camp descriptions, dates, times, fees and online registration at
ALABAMA SCHOOL OF FINE ARTS 1800 Reverend Abraham Woods, Jr. Boulevard
www.asfa.k12.al.us Birmingham, AL 35203 205.252.9241 www.asfa.k12.al.us birminghamparent.com | 7