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Vol. 44 | No. 15 | JANUARY 31-FEBRUARY 6, 2024
EDITORIAL
News & Views Feedback ............................... 6 News ...................................... 9 Lapointe............................... 12
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NEWS & VIEWS Feedback We received comments in response to contributor Michael Betzold’s story, “Environmentalists oppose legislation to classify factory farm ‘biogas’ as clean energy.” The farm biogas article from the other day has three threads that go in completely different directions and have no chance to weave into coherence. The first premise is that it is illogical to classify farm biogas as clean energy. What do we mean when we speak of clean energy? It is energy that is not derived from combustion of fossil fuels. Is biogas coming from ancient geological deposits? No it is not — it is coming from pigs. I won’t say LIVE pigs. The second thread is that pig farms are bad and therefore whatever comes from them is bad. OK, I understand why some people object to pig farms and they probably have very good points. But as long as there ARE pig farms, as long as our society condones the practice of growing pigs, there will be pig waste which can be made into biogas. If we do not make biogas, what do you suppose we will do instead? To keep pig waste from making biogas, it must be kept oxygenated which means running a lot of expensive and dirty-energy-powered equipment The third thread is that Food and Water Watch equates to “environmentalists”
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Sorry, but that outfit is environmentalist like McDonalds exists to combat world hunger. Food and Water Watch staff make their money by selling inflamatory stories for fundraising — the fact that their stories appear to touch on environmental topics should in no way be taken to mean they are well conceived to address environmental issues. They are just shrill. So the actual story is that pig farmers have taken the questionable but legal choice to grow and sell pigs, and part of their operation is to manage the pig waste. We should consider as a society if we want to continue having pig farmers in our midst, but while we do, we should applaud their efforts to make the best of a shitty situation by producing some biogas that might displace a little bit of fossil fuel gas extraction. Don’t let the uninformed and deceptive yammerings of so-called environmentalists confuse us about what is clean and what is dirty. Respectfully, Cade Johnson Comments may be edited for clarity. Sound off: letters@metrotimes.com.
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NEWS & VIEWS
To bring a new hotel and retail into the former train station, developers need to rezone its land — which was designated for industrial use in the 1940s.
SHUTTERSTOCK
Downzoning Michigan Central promising for rest of Detroit The land beneath Detroit’s recently renovated former train station Michigan Central is currently zoned for M4, which is meant for “intensive industrial.” What that means is that an M4 district can “permit uses which are usually objectionable and … is rarely, if ever, located adjacent to residential districts.” The current zoning designations were adopted in 1940 and are overdue for a change. Michigan Central held its first rezoning community meeting last Wednesday at Newlab, part of a wider community engagement strategy to educate and hear from residents on plans to downzone from M4 to B5, which would make it a business district. Owner Ford Motor Company wants Michigan Central to host new retail storefronts. However, the reason for
downzoning from an M4 district to a B5 district is to allow for the opening of a hotel inside of Michigan Central, which is planned for the top two to three floors. There is currently no hotel operator identified for the project and the parcel of land must be rezoned before any of the hotel operations can begin to be built out. The meeting was hosted by Michigan Central’s director of community engagement Cornetta Lane-Smith, Detroit City Planning Commission’s Kimani Jeffrey, and Michigan Central’s head of place Melissa Dittmer. The crowd was fairly small but Detroit residents were given plenty of time to ask the three hosts questions. “The size of the crowd speaks to how routine this process is rather than something a bit more controversial,” Michigan Central’s director of com-
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munications Dan Austin tells Metro Times. “Most residents are happy to know we are making ourselves available at these meetings and are holding office hours.” Although turnout for the meeting was relatively low, the matter was highly significant for those that did come out. Many of the questions concerned the near-future effects of bringing in new businesses to the neighborhood — including concerns over parking, the future of neighboring land parcels, and what types of businesses would be brought into Michigan Central. Laura Chavez, president and CEO of the Southwest Detroit Business Association, was especially concerned about the impact on existing local businesses, noting “we don’t want there to be casualties from this devel-
opment.” Dittmer explained that the strategy is “to make sure we are additive to the existing retail community, especially the mom and pop ecosystem that exists around us. … Everything that we are doing in terms of thinking through that ground floor strategy is with that in mind.” “My one ask is to make sure we are at the table for those conversations,” Chavez responded. “There is the potential to hurt the community with the wrong retail.” Michigan Central seems to have taken note. “[Chavez] brought up a valid concern about the negative impact on the already existing businesses,” Austin tells Metro Times. “We are looking to bring in local businesses, not chains that will compete with existing brick
and mortar stores in the neighborhood. The point is to add to the neighborhood and not take away from it, and that is why we are putting a heavy emphasis on community engagement.” The politics of rezoning can be quite boring. However, it has the potential to benefit residents and local businesses — and can even help reimagine Detroit as we know. With several parcels across the city stuck in the history of their zoning and not being used, downzoning to a residential district could help with other issues the city is facing. “We have a rental crisis going on and part of that is because there is not enough residential,” Vanessa Serna of Core City Strong tells Metro Times. “People are interested in living in Corktown, North Corktown, and Core City, but there is not enough housing here.” Although Detroit’s population declined by about 8,000 residents from 2021 to 2022 and has shown very little change since, an increase in housing — and, specifically, affordable housing — would not only allow for more people to move to the city, but it could also address the blight problem. Downzoning districts where industrial buildings sit empty could allow for developers to come in and put in new builds, whether businesses or residential. Another reason for downzoning is to limit which businesses come into
a neighborhood. In late 2022, CanAm International Trade Crossing was denied a permit to build and operate an open-air, high-impact concrete crushing facility. Had it not been for activists and Core City residents collecting signatures, hosting community gatherings, and getting support from political figures like Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib and Senator Stephanie Chang, a concrete crusher would have been someone’s neighbor. “A concrete crusher can come into areas designated as M4,” Serna explains. “There are swaths of land developers can build on but they don’t want to if there is concrete dust flying around.” This type of intensive industrial would undoubtedly be harmful to the city’s growth and current residents, the latter being subject to both health concerns and property devaluation. This is where downzoning is beneficial to long-time residents. “Across the city, communities are having to deal with the intensive industrial in their neighborhoods and this is one way to stop it from coming in,” Serna says. “This downzoning will enable our community to breathe a sigh of relief, move forward, and be able to beautify our neighborhoods.” Serna adds, “This area has been underserviced for decades. To bring in more people, to bring in more businesses, means they are going to fix our roads and clean up our neighborhoods more.”
Although rezoning concerns specific parcels of land, the politics of zoning has far-reaching consequences — for better or worse. When it comes to District 6 of Detroit, though, City Council Member Gabriela Santiago-Romero has made it clear that downzoning is a priority. “I want to make sure that we continue to downzone intensive industrial areas in order to open neighborhoods up to more small businesses and housing,” Santiago-Romero tells Metro Times. “There was a lot of downzoning work done by my predecessor, Raquel Castañeda-López, and we are going to revisit that and finish what she started.” Overall, the downzoning of Michigan Central stands to benefit from a popular neighborhood while adding a new value to a historic landmark. What seems more promising, though, is the potential of more downzoning to come. “Downzoning, especially for industrial areas that are also heavily residential, is almost always going to positively impact us,” Santiago-Romero adds. Michigan Central is holding open office hours from 10 a.m. to noon on Feb. 20, March 19, and April 16 for residents to ask questions and be heard. In February the City Planning Commission will host a public hearing and another community meeting open to the public will be held at Newlab in April or May. City Council is set to hear and vote on the downzoning in May. —Andrew Wright
Michigan cannabis sales hit record high in 2023 Licensed cannabis dispensaries in Michigan rang up a
record $3.06 billion in sales in 2023, a 25% increase over 2022. To put that into perspective, the total sales of medical and recreational cannabis last year equates to $385 worth of cannabis for each adult in the state. The year ended with the highest month of sales on record. In December, dispensaries sold $279.9 million worth of cannabis, beating the previous monthly record of $276.5 in sales set in July 2023. A vast majority of the sales were recreational, also known as adult use, which amounted to $2.74 billion in 2023. The impressive amount of cannabis sales translates into a substantial windfall in taxes for cash-strapped local governments and the state. With a 10% excise tax on recreational cannabis sales, more than $274 million will go to local governments, schools, and
roads this year, according to a Metro Times analysis. On top of that, a 6% sales tax is imposed on all recreational and medical sales. That’s an additional $183.6 million that can be used on schools, roads, public health, and revenue sharing. In total, cannabis sales last year generated $457.6 million in new taxes, a massive amount of money at a time when governments are struggling. Since recreational cannabis sales began in Michigan in December 2019, the annual sales have increased every year as the industry continues to grow. In 2023, 120 new dispensaries opened statewide, bringing the total to about 750. Sales were boosted by Detroit’s entry into the recreational cannabis industry last year. Since the beginning of 2023, numerous adult-use dispensaries and other cannabis businesses have opened in Detroit. So far, the city has awarded 70 recreational cannabis
licenses, and the city’s ordinance allows up to 160 recreational cannabis licenses. Despite the promise of new tax revenue for communities that allow recreational cannabis sales, most of the state’s cities and towns have prohibited adult-use sales. In November, voters in Birmingham, Grosse Pointe Park, Rochester, and Keego Harbor rejected proposals that would have allowed recreational cannabis sales in their communities. The nascent industry hasn’t been without challenges. The average price of an ounce of adult-use flower dropped from $512 in January 2020 to $80 in January 2023 as the market became saturated with cannabis. While this was good news for consumers, it was a nightmare for dispensaries and growers trying to stay afloat. The average price of an ounce of flower crept up to $90.08 in December 2023, providing some relief for businesses. —Steve Neavling
Michigan still has highest car insurance rates in the nation Detroit may have put the world on wheels, but in Michigan, it can be hard to afford them. According to a new study from MarketWatch Guides, Michiganders still pay the highest average car insurance rates in the nation. Drivers in the Great Lakes State pay $3,643 per year on car insurance, an 81% difference from the national average. For the study, MarketWatch Guides used data from Quadrant Information Services, basing its cost estimates on a 35-year-old driver with good credit and a clean driving record, so some drivers pay even more. While car insurance costs tend to decrease as drivers age, speeding tickets, DUIs, and at-fault accidents increase rates, with DUIs raising rates the most — as if you needed another reason to get a ride when you’re out drinking. “Michigan is infamous for its skyhigh auto insurance rates and has consistently had among the most expensive coverage in the country,” MarketWatch Guides Expert David Straughan said in a statement. “The first and most important way to find lower rates is to compare quotes from several insurers to see who offers you the lowest price. No matter what else you do, you should do that as well.” Last year, MarketWatch Guides found that drivers in most U.S. states saw their average car insurance rates increase since 2021. But in Michigan, rates have actually decreased nearly 18%, resulting in drivers saving an average of $787 per year on full coverage insurance. That’s thanks to legislation signed by Gov. Gretchen Whitmer in 2019 that made changes to Michigan’s no-fault insurance rules to eliminate the requirement for drivers to sign up for unlimited personal injury protection (PIP) coverage. In December, Bridge Michigan reported that lawmakers could revisit the state’s auto insurance law in 2024 to reduce rates in highcost areas like Detroit, where drivers pay the second-highest rates in the nation after New York City. —Lee DeVito
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Detroit jazz pianist Charles Boles dead at 91 Charles Boles, one of the last remaining pianists from Detroit’s bebop era who also mastered the blues, R&B, boogie-woogie, and straightahead jazz, died January 19. A family member confirmed his death to Metro Times. He was 91. As a musician still performing a regular gig well into his 80s, Boles didn’t allow his advanced age to hinder him from swinging through his best life as a musician. He maintained a weekly Tuesday night residency at the swanky Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe for six years (20122018) and recorded his debut album at the ripe age of 81. Boles always brought an ebullient degree of spontaneity to his playing, having been influenced by pianists such as Art Tatum, McCoy Tyner, and fellow Detroiter Barry Harris. For those who knew Boles, he was sweet, soft-spoken, yet fiery at times, and could spit out hundreds of stories about Detroit’s music history and a plethora of high-profile musicians he toured with such as Marvin Gaye, Etta James, Mary Wells, Lou Rawls, and Dinah Washington. One of his most engaging recollections was working with Aretha Franklin before she was anointed Queen of Soul. “I was with Aretha when she didn’t have no money,” Boles told journalist Jim McFarlin in a 2014 profile in Hour Detroit magazine. “I played for her, and she paid me, but she was borrowing back 20 bucks from me here and there every week because she was short of money. I’m telling you, we were riding around in cars with Canned Heat on the floor, trying to stay warm! Seems like I always got with the stars at the wrong time, when they were either on their way up or on their way down.” Another gem that Boles shared with McFarlin was his stint with blues legend B.B. King, whom Boles recorded with and toured nationally and internationally in 1969 for King’s “Live and Well” tour. “I didn’t see him until the late ’60s when I heard he was at the 20 Grand holding auditions for an organ player,” he said. “I was probably the world’s worst organ player, but I went there to see him. When he saw me, he said, ‘Who are you?’ And when I reminded him, he said, ‘I want this guy because he can play the blues in any key.’ B.B. was the kind of guy who’d start a song, but he had a bad throat so often he would have to change keys on the fly. That’s how I got the job.”
As a musician still performing a regular gig well into his 80s, Boles didn’t allow his advanced age to hinder him from swinging through his best life as a musician. He recorded his debut album at the ripe age of 81.
Charles Boles.
Charles Boles was born on June 8, 1932, in Detroit’s Black Bottom neighborhood. He lived in an orphanage until the Boles family adopted him at age four. His adoptive mother was the cousin of the famous stride pianist Fats Waller, who encouraged her to get the young Boles piano lessons. Waller used to visit the Boles family home and play piano when he was in town. Boles attended Northern High School in the 1940s and learned the meat and bones of his craft by attending jam sessions at the house of bebop pianist Barry Harris. Harris’s jam sessions were legendary and a core part of development for many up-and-coming jazz musicians, like trumpeter Donald Byrd, pianists Roland Hanna and Tommy Flanagan, bassist Paul Chambers, and saxophonists Charles McPherson, Donald Walden, and Yusef Lateef.
CYBELLE CODISH
Boles’s first gig out of high school was touring with guitarist and vocalist Emitt Slay, who he says snatched him up the day after he graduated high school. Like many musicians, Boles took on diverse gigs while carving out a name for himself, performing regularly at clubs on Hastings Street (sort of a red-light district in the ’50s) and Paradise Valley, a famous entertainment district in the city. In the early ’60s, Boles moved to New York for a year, encouraged by his childhood friends Harris and Flanagan, but decided to return to Detroit for steady work that allowed for a more familyfocused life. Boles replaced pianist Claude Black in Aretha Franklin’s Trio in 1964. He also played for more than a year at Detroit’s Playboy Club, which provided a lot of work for local jazz musicians. In the
’70s, Boles became the conductor for the famed comedian Jackie “Moms” Mabley. Outside his many gigs, Boles was a longtime educator at various schools, including his high school alma mater and Oakland University, where he taught piano technique, improvisation, music theory, and composition. In his later years, Boles remained active in the Detroit jazz scene. Gretchen Carhartt-Valade, owner of Mack Avenue Records, the Detroit Music Factory, and the Dirty Dog Jazz Cafe, hired Boles to replace guitarist Johnnie Bassett in his weekly residency at the Dirty Dog. So inspired by his playing and the attention he drew to the residency, Valade signed Boles to the Detroit Music Factory, a label she formed to promote the music of Detroit-based jazz musicians. Boles recorded the well-received Blue Continuum in 2013. Darrell Garrett, Mac Avenue’s manager of A&R and catalog and the director of the Detroit Music Factory, recalls working with Boles on the project. “He was a joy to work with,” Garrett says. “I loved how he cared for the craft of being a pianist. Another selfless thing about this man was that guitarist Ron English from the area is featured on this record, and he was adamant that Ron English’s name was also on the cover. Even in his first record at 81, he wanted to be sure that someone else had credit.” Boles is preceded in death by his wife Helen and is survived by his seven children, and hosts of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Boles’s final arrangements will take place at New Greater Zion Hill Church located at 18891 St. Louis St in Detroit on Friday, Feb. 2, and Saturday, Feb. 3. Public viewing hours are from 4-5 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 2 with a memorial service to follow 5-7 p.m. On Saturday, Feb. 3, family hour is from 10:30-11 a.m. with service at 11 a.m. —Veronica Johnson
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NEWS & VIEWS Lapointe
Reading lyrics to ‘The Snake,’ Donald Trump speaks with a forked tongue By Joe Lapointe
One of Donald Trump’s creepi-
est campaign stunts is to read to his rally rooters the lyrics to an old song called “The Snake.” Written and recorded in the 1960s, “The Snake” is a parable about a kind woman who saves a suffering snake from a freezing death when he begs for help. After she feeds him and warms him, he bites her with poisonous, fatal venom. The woman asks the snake why he did this and Trump smiles as he reads the snake’s reply. “‘Shut up, silly woman,’” said the reptile with a grin. “‘You knew damn well I was a snake before you brought me in!’” Trump claims it is about immigration. After chanting the lyrics in a singsong cadence from a piece of paper and gesturing with his free hand for emphasis, Trump practically hisses these final lines as his red-hatted cult members laugh and cheer him on in primary states like New Hampshire last week. It is one of several conscious and unconscious “tells” the former reality TV star has put on display for more than a decade as a right-wing, Republican demagogue. Another clue is the over-the-top aggression of Trump’s very signature, which looks like, among other things, the sharp teeth of a shark. In reading the lyrics to “The Snake,” Trump usually adds the adjective “vicious” before the word “snake,” although it is neither written nor recorded that way in the lyrics by Oscar Brown, Jr., and the most popular vocal by Al Wilson. But Trump seems to love the word “vicious.” In his recitation — from the only paper script he pulls from his suit pocket —you can practically hear the saliva bubbles dribble across his forked tongue as he spits the word through his twisted lips. After using “The Snake” in his successful 2016 campaign for president against Hillary Clinton, the large, loud,
Trump’s scary signature says more than he knows.
orange-faced, yellow-haired bully has revived this golden oldie for his 2024 campaign against President Joe Biden. And it serves Trump well, perhaps revealing more than he realizes. Trump claims the song works as a metaphor for “illegals” who migrate across the southern border and bring crime, disease, drugs, mental illness, terrorism, and sabotage. First, it was just Syrians and Muslims. Now, it’s any “other.” He never portrays migrants as families hoping to find work and improve their lives from the lowest rung of the ladder of the “American Dream.” No, it’s always an “invasion” of “military-age men.” And Trump doesn’t need to tell you these “illegals” are dark-skinned because you can see that every hour on Fox News, right alongside the Texas razor wire and pieces of Trump’s “wall.” By comparing migrants to reptiles, Trump lowers them to subhuman status with skin that is dark and slimy. Such creatures are easier to fear and to hate. Trump constantly reminds us they are “vermin” who will “poison the blood” of people Trump calls “true patriots.” In a Frontline report by PBS in 2019, the Austrian language researcher Kateryna Pilyarchuk analyzed Trump’s recited words as they applied to immigrants from Muslim nations, one of Trump’s first target groups. “He uses this metaphor to present himself as a hero, as someone who will protect you from these animals,” she said. “That means everyone else who comes to the country becomes not a human being, but an animal. And if
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that person is Muslim, that person is not even a mammal.” And then there is the Freudian interpretation of Trump’s Snake obsession. A proud New York City playboy who has been found civilly responsible for sexual assault, Trump in the past has bragged about grabbing women by the crotch the first time he meets them. By cheering for the aggressive Snake in his song recitation, Trump seems to side with an uncoiling male predator who takes advantage of an unsuspecting female victim. The weak snake becomes stronger and attacks the naïve female, penetrating her. In real life, Trump seems obsessed with women who are rivals and critics, often expressing revulsion to specific female details ranging from GOP rival candidate Nikki Haley’s dress to Mika Brzezinski’s face to Megyn Kelly’s menstrual cycle. One of few women he regularly praises is “Our Luv-lee Fust Lay-dee” who no longer appears with him. And what about the so-called “evangelicals” who support Trump no matter how many wives he marries and buries on his golf course? That God squad might meditate upon the Biblical significance of Trump choosing the Snake as his hero. According to the Book of Genesis, the serpent in the Garden of Eden stands for Original Sin and evil and, by extension, the devil, that is to say, Satan, Lucifer, the Father of Lies, Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness. Why would a candidate for president — even one indicted for multiple felo-
PUBLIC DOMAIN
nies and guilty of frauds like “Trump University” — choose to identify even by metaphoric extension with the beast that turned Man against God? If song lyric symbolism and psychological projection are not your thing, you can evaluate this former President simply with a glance at his signature. At best, his jagged, cramped lines are an artistic impression of Trump’s beloved Manhattan skyline as seen from Queens. Or, as mentioned above, the teeth of a shark, moving in for the kill. Certainly those sudden peaks and valleys suggest a volatile temperament and impulsiveness, do they not? Consider Trump’s autograph and what you might think if your doctor handed you this series of jagged jolts and told you it was the EKG reading of your heartbeat. Or if the guy on TV told you this was the Richter scale reading of an earthquake in Mexico. The handwriting analyst Michelle Dresbold, who studied her craft at a Secret Service school, told Politico that Trump’s lack of curves in his letter formation reveals his hard-headed and self-centered personality. “Curves in handwriting show softness, nurturing and a maternal nature,” she said. “Angles show a writer who is feeling angry, determined, fearful, competitive or challenged. When a script is completely devoid of curves, the writer lacks empathy and craves power, prestige and admiration.” Sound like anyone we know? Anyone who should ever again get close to power?
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As I lie on a pallet of blankets, I begin to notice the
subtleties of being alive. My breath enters and escapes my body as a repeat visitor. My heartbeat gives my chest a steady hug and the blood flowing through my veins is an unending stream of consciousness. My bones weigh heavily into the ground and it feels like I’m sinking into a grave. Just as soon as the sensations heighten, the death doula sitting at my side whispers, “One day this will all stop. You will die. I will die. Everyone you know will die.”
Her words jolt my spirit out of my body to hover above my belly. A bright light shines at the crown of my head as my memories play and then fade. I laugh, cry, have sex that sends sparks of electricity through my fingertips, and jump into my mother’s arms, squeezing her with a child’s unconditional love. My mother… I’m not ready to say goodbye to her yet. But my spirit is already separating from this physical body reluctantly like a piece of gum being peeled off the bottom of a sneaker. I become dirt. The mycelium coiled underneath the soil becomes me. As I return to the endless void of space where all time and possibilities exist, everything goes dark. Is this what it feels like to die? Maybe. But I am obviously not dead. I’m being led through a death meditation by metro Detroit-based death doula KristySue Bishop. In this guided meditation, Bishop helps you visualize your death, your spirit lifting out of your body, and the body decaying.
Talking about death used to be taboo, but the death doula profession saw a rise in popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic when humanity was faced with its mortality on a grand scale; in that time an organization called the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance grew to more than 1,000 members in 2021, up from 200 in 2019. Death doulas are also sometimes called end-of-life doulas, and the terms are used interchangeably. To help us face the ever-present notion of death, these doulas offer a range of services to the living, dying, and loved ones of the recently deceased. While this can mean sitting bedside with the terminally ill and seeing them through their transition, it can also look like making funeral arrangements or cleaning out the deceased person’s house to ease the burden on their family members. Some death doulas bring joy into the dying’s last stretch of life with therapeutic exercises like painting or breathwork. Bishop’s work, however, focuses more on the living. Her goal is to normalize talking about death and en-
KristySue Bishop is a “death doula,” a field that has seen a rise in popularity.
courage people to use their grief to examine their lives so that when they do eventually die, they’ll (hopefully) be fulfilled. “I think the biggest misconception is that we’re only here for the dying,” she explains to me over tea in Ferndale. Her bubbly laugh, bright blonde hair, and chrysanthemum tattoos seem to juxtapose the morbid subject of our conversation, which she approaches no holds barred. She sips from her latte and the steam fogs her glasses as she continues, “We’re also here for the living that are preparing to die, which everybody is preparing to die... We have this misconception that death is when you’re older but you really have to think about these things like, what’s going to happen if I get in a car crash? What are the things that I want? If I can’t speak, who’s gonna do that for me?” Later, at the death meditation, in a dimly lit room with trays of crystals and candles scattered in corners, she tells me, “Grief is the space between death and desire.” I reorient myself to the physical space as I come back into my body — feeling my clothes resting on my skin, seeing the light peaking through the blinds, smelling the waft of incense in the air. Following the meditation, Bishop gives me journal prompts like, “What are the things in your life that need to die away?” and, “What do you desire to have in your life?” She holds frequent “death talks” and meditations like the one I’ve just experienced in the Congregation, a former Detroit church-turned-coffee house, and virtually. She describes it as “bringing awareness [of death] into life really hardcore,” an accurate descriptor as the air in the room changes from awe at the miracle of life to a deep nothingness when she says “Everyone you
SEVENFIFTEEN
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know will die.” “It sounds scary and horrible, but it’s really grounding,” she says. “I mean, it depends on where you are with grief. If you just had somebody die, I would say not to do it. But if you’re OK with your grief it’s a good exercise for keeping your life where you want to be. The more that we think about death, it gets us back on track.”
Processing grief
Most of us were never taught to process our grief in a healthy way. And there is often an uncomfortable silence around death and the fact that we all experience it. Death consumed Bishop’s life when her ex-husband Pat Shaw was diagnosed with terminal cancer nearly five years ago and she became his caretaker. Shaw, a local musician and former Third Man Records employee, would die eight months later in November 2018. He and Bishop had two children. “I had many people die in my life, but this was somebody that was supposed to be in my life every day,” she remembers. “Life looked different to me after. Everything completely changed, and so many things fell away that I thought I cared about so much… It was like 1,000 different egos of myself had died away, like his death also caused my own little death.” Bishop’s curious pet rats greet me when I enter her home for a follow-up. She explains that her husband had promised to get their children pet rats just before he died, so she kept his promise. Being confronted with death forced Bishop to evaluate whether she was going to be brave enough to live the life that she wanted — a more meaningful and purposeful one. But as she grieved, she realized a lack of resources for processing those emotions. She decided to become a death doula to help people through the grieving process, filling the silence surrounding death with support instead. “We’re not educated enough on the process of dying and all the things that happen. And I mean, not even just the physical aspects, but the logistics of it all,” she says. “There’s the cleaning up of the house and so many things that we just don’t think of that need to get done. And it’s put on the people that have gone through these huge emotions. It’s just so hard for people, the stress of that struggle while you’re going through losing somebody.” She continues after a pause, “I just didn’t want to get lost in the silence, I guess. I was talking to my therapist and I said, ‘I think this is what I want to do now. I want to help people that are going to be in my situation.’ She goes, ‘Oh
Bishop became a death doula after her ex-husband Pat Shaw died in 2018.
so you want to be a death doula?’ And I was like, huh? A what?” Bishop would go on to receive her death doula certification through the Ann Arbor-based Lifespan Doulas program in 2020. She is also trained in reiki, restorative yoga, reflexology, grief mentoring, and mediumship — all things she says helped her through her grieving process. A large part of Bishop’s work involves simply being there to talk — and more importantly, listen — to people who are grieving. “It might be harder for them to talk to a family member, or the family members might not be able to be there for that conversation,” she says. She also uses methods like having her clients talk into a cup of water and then offer the water to a plant or a tree. “You’re getting it out, using your voice, first of all, which we don’t use enough,” she says. “Trees give us oxygen, right? So we’re already in communication with them. [It’s] this living back and forth. So it’s like, why can’t we do that with our grief also? We can just give our grief to the trees and they process it.” She also recommends journaling and dissecting grief without judgment when the weight of it all becomes too much. “There’s so much involved in grief that it can become one big ball, and it feels so big that we just get stuck,” she says. “So we break it down like, what am I actually grieving right now? Because there’s the big loss and we have all these little secondary losses too. Am I grieving being a solo parent right now? Or am I grieving loss of control?
Being able to write about just that one thing, breaking it down, so you can process it and going back and visiting the others later, it just helps it feel a little less complex.”
The good death experience
Charon Collier was used to taking care of the elderly as a hospice volunteer in 2013. Her new client Sheri, however, was a frail woman in her thirties lying in a hospital bed in the middle of her living room. The image of a woman the same age as her dying of liver failure shook Collier to her bones. Collier is a Detroit native and death doula who splits her time between Michigan and Jacksonville, Florida. She worked as a hospice volunteer for nearly 10 years before becoming a death doula, and Sheri was one of the cases that inspired her eventual career path. Much like Sheri, Collier was a single mother with young children at the time. “I’m watching her at the end of her life, and I’m watching these kids and the turmoil it’s causing in their lives,” she remembers vividly. “They were getting called home from school every day but I think they were acting up because they wanted to be home with their mom. She’s not able to get up and play with them anymore… so I’m watching this and I’m like, this could easily be me but by the grace of God, it’s not.” Sheri’s liver failure was caused by a lifelong struggle with alcoholism. Even though she was dying, she wanted to try and get clean in hopes of getting a liver transplant, so she asked Collier to take her to Alcoholics Anonymous
SEVENFIFTEEN
meetings. “Even though she’s in hospice and I’m her volunteer, I’m not going to tell her it’s too late,” Collier says. “I’m gonna take her to those meetings. So I did. I drove her and I sat in meetings with her.” Collier took Sheri to AA meetings every Saturday, but wasn’t able to one weekend due to a trip she had planned well before the two met. Sherri was disappointed, but Collier promised to take her as soon as she returned on Monday. Collier felt a little guilty but told herself Sheri would be there when she got back. She knew in her heart, however, that wasn’t true. “I just dismissed it [and] went on my trip,” Collier recalls. “I came back Monday morning and first thing I did when I woke up Monday, I called and asked to speak to her and they told me she had passed away. I was crushed. That was the first time I think I cried doing the work. I had some guilt too… I beat myself up for a long time and I had to work through that.” As a hospice volunteer, her assignment was considered complete once the client died, so Collier wasn’t able to check on Sheri’s children. This bothered her and was the first time she thought of becoming a death doula, even though she didn’t know the proper term for it. “That follow-up with the family and the kids, it would have been nice to be on the other side of that for as long as they needed me,” she says. “If that had been a situation where I was an independent death doula, I could have gone back and checked on the family to
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see if they needed anything for the next six to 12 months.” That was back in 2013, before death doulas became popular. At the time Collier was doing administrative healthcare work during the week and volunteering in hospice after hours and on weekends. She found herself caught between doing what she loved, which was caring for the dying, and the job that paid her bills. Fast forward to 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic hit and the idea of death doulas came into mainstream culture, and Collier realized what the work she wanted to do all along was called. “No one was talking about death doulas back then but after the pandemic, courses started popping up,” she says. She became a certified death doula in 2021. Unlike Bishop, who uses death to inspire people to live, Collier helps her clients have a “good death experience.” The Good Death Experience is the name of her business where she offers death doula certification, coaching, and mentorship to teach other doulas how to run a profitable business. It’s also the title of her upcoming book The Good Death Experience: Journey from Hospice Volunteer to Death Doula, due out in the spring. Collier also offers death doula classes through the Ascension School of Healing Arts in Ferndale both virtually and in person. In The Good Death Experience, Collier tells the story of 10 patients who taught her significant lessons on her journey, including Sheri. Each patient gets their own chapter. While Collier was studying to become a death doula, her close friend Hans was battling cancer. He had been in home hospice under his mother’s care for some time, but his condition worsened and he had to be hospitalized, almost as if by fate, right when Collier finished the doula course. Hans’s mother called Collier asking her to be at his side to usher him into the afterlife. He was Collier’s first client as an official death doula, and his story is the first chapter in The Good Death Experience, which is dedicated to him. “He had cancer in his jaw area and the wound had started to bleed out aggressively that morning that she called,” Collier remembers. “The next day was my birthday and I drove up to South Carolina to be with him… I spent three days [doing] what we call ‘vigil,’ when you sit bedside with someone as they’re transitioning. Me, his mom, his best friend, and his aunt, we all sat with him and talked. I held his hand.” She continues, “We always say people pick and choose when they leave… It’s funny because that night, his mom was
Bishop got her children pet rats to keep a promise her husband made before he died. SEVENFIFTEEN
like, ‘Should we stay longer?’ We knew it was getting close. And I said, ‘I don’t know if he’s gonna pass when we’re still here.’ Some people want family around and sometimes they just want to be alone. I do believe that we have that
last time before passing over. Back when Collier was still a hospice volunteer, she once had to rush to get a woman named Mary to the hospital to see her dying husband. Collier remembers Mary being afraid that her hus-
much control over when we pass.” Collier went to see Hans on her birthday, September 4, and he passed away on September 7, after she and his family left the hospital. “I believe I was always a death doula in my heart anyway but to actually be able to independently work, not being assigned by a hospice volunteer organization, and have my first experience be one of my dearest friends on my birthday, I always say that was a gift,” she says. “Me being a death doula to him was a gift and him choosing to leave at the time he did, it was a gift to each other.” It’s not the only time she says she’s experienced souls choosing the exact moment to move on. While she believes Hans wanted to be alone in death, she’s seen other clients whose family members waited to see them one
band would die before she could make it. Collier told her, “No, he’s gonna wait for you. Trust me.” “It took me about an hour. I left school, drove to the opposite side of town, and took her to him because they had called and said he was starting to decline really fast,” she recalls. “He ain’t gone wait too long, so I said, ‘I’m just gonna pull up, Imma drop you at the door. Then I’ll park and come find you. You know that clipboard you sign [at the front desk]? Don’t even stop there. You go straight to him.’” When Collier finally parked and met Mary inside the hospital, she was standing at the back of her husband’s room, scared to get close. “So I just kind of nudged her and said, ‘Let him know you’re here. Let him know you’re OK.’ She did and he passed within three minutes of us get-
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ting there. I told her, ‘See, he waited for you,’” she said. In her mentorship and business classes, Collier encourages death doulas in training to take the profession beyond bedside vigil and use their unique skills to help grieving families. For example, one of her students is a videographer, so she suggested they record the family during her time with them for a legacy project. “The great thing about the space is you can be as creative as you want,” she says. “We all have great ideas but how do we monetize them or how do we make them pay the bills so we can eventually quit our ‘real job’ and do what we love while offering this service? … You’ve got to deal with the relatives and you’ve got to know what type of support they need. You’re not just supporting the person dying.” For Bishop, this is probably more important than offering services to people who are actively dying. However, she says the idea of a “good death experience” is more fantasy than reality, which is why she prefers to focus on the living who are preparing for eventual death. “When you ask someone how they want to die, of course, everybody has the same story. They want it to be like Cinderella, out in the wilderness with their family around them. And what is the [likelihood] of that happening? Slim to none,” she says. “Or people ask what would you do if you found out that you were going to die in a year. That’s more about life than it is death because if you’re going to die in a year you’re probably gonna be on medication, in the hospital, in a lot of pain, and trying to stay alive.” She continues, “We should be in a truce with death. You have to live with it. … What’s a good death? For me, a good death is living well. Living well is dying well. When we get to our deathbed what do we want to bring with us? What do we want to sit there with? What do I want to be thinking about my life?” For those who find it hard to cope with loss, or the thought of our own mortality, Bishop offers solace in knowing that death is only a transformation. It is not an ending, as energy never truly dies, she says. “The thing that helped me the most in getting through his death was realizing he is actually still here,” she says about her ex-husband. “And then understanding that there is this collective, this energy that we all share, and keeping that communication open… you’re rebuilding your relationship with that loss. I feel like I’ve gone through so many different relationships with him. This is just another.”
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WHAT’S GOING ON
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Open Mike Night. Sign up is on Wednesdays (from 11 a.m.-6 p.m.) for the following week; call 248-542-9900. 7:30 p.m. Tickets to watch will be available at the door. $5.Wednesday, 7:30-9 p.m.
Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.
22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $12.
$24-$79.
The Piano Men 7:30 p.m.; Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts, 12 N. Saginaw St., Pontiac; $34-$79.
DJ/Dance
MUSIC
ZOSO - The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $18-$28.
DJ/Dance
Wednesday, Jan. 31
Heartbeats One Year Anniversary with Bileebob & Eric Hinchman 10 p.m.-2 a.m.; Spkr Box, 200 Grand River, Detroit; $10.
Bassface Collective presents: Manic Minds Takeover 3-Year Anniversary with Chadderboxx, Mr.Fuji, SVVITCH Garski Geekin, Yeesh 7:30-2 a.m.; Harpos, 14238 Harper Ave, Detroit; $15.
Badfish - A Tribute To Sublime, The Quasi Kings, Damn Skippy 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $20. Woodbridge Pub & The Preservation of Jazz Presents Just Jazz & Blues Every Wednesday Night 7-11 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; no cover.
Thursday, Feb. 1 Dancing with the Stars 8 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $39.50-$149.50. DJ Shadow, Holly 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $29.50-$34.50. Ska Thursday: Killer Diller, Ska’t Ya Covered 8-11 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.
Friday, Feb. 2 Dueling Pianos: Dinner and Concert with duo pianists, Cliff Monear & Pierre Fracalanza 6:309 p.m.; The War Memorial, 32 Lake Shore Drive, Grosse Pointe Farms; $47.50-$85. Friday Night Jams with Nate Topo & The 313 Group 8-11 p.m.; Tony V’s Tavern, 5756 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover. Left Lane Cruiser, The Telephone Poles 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15. Mayer Hawthorne, Chulita Vinyl Club 7 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $30-$105. Meet Me @ The Altar:, Honey Revenge, John Harvie, Elliot Lee 6 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $27. Slow and Easy - The Whitesnake Experience 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $20.
Midnight City 90s-00s w/ DJ Josh and DJ Zumby 9 p.m.-1 a.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.
Saturday, Feb. 3 Cinecyde , Blasty’s Backroad, Robb’s Records 9 p.m.-midnight; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover. Cleveland vs Detroit feat: Engrave, Vexatious, Midwinter, Dead Cassette and Dreamwalker 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $12. The Fabulous Thunderbirds 8-9:30 pm; FIM Capitol Theatre, 140 E. 2nd St., Flint; $20-$65.
JVNA 9 p.m.; Elektricity Nightclub, 15 S. Saginaw St., Pontiac; $14.99.
Shrek Rave 9 p.m.-2 a.m.; Leland City Club, 400 Bagley Street, Detroit; $15. VNSSA, Nala, Raedy Lex, Harkati 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $15-$20.
Monday, Feb. 5 Live/Concert Take 5 - All Male Jazz Revue featuring 6 Jazz Greats Performing as 6 Jazz Legends: Michael Brock as Al Jarreau, Kenny Watson as Leon Thomas, William Freeman as Bill Withers, Smoke Jones as Nat King Cole, Darren A. Jackson as Billy Eckstine, and Chris Tellis as Milton Nascimento 7-11 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $35.
DJ/Dance
JOVI “Bon Jovi Tribute band”, INFINITY and BEYOND - Journey 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $15-$150.
Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.
Machine Head, Fear Factory, Orbit Culture, Gates to Hell 5:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $35.
Fern Whale: Alpino Roots Cellar Music Series 6:30-8 p.m.; Alpino, 1426 Bagley St, Detroit; $10.
Seeing Stars! Benefit for FIM Dort Music Center 6-8:30 p.m.; FIM Dort Music Center, 1025 E Kearsley Street, Flint; $75-$5,000.
B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 p.m.-midnight; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover.
Tuesday, Feb. 6
DJ/Dance
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Laurie Kilmartin; $25.Thursday, 7:30-9 p.m.; Friday, 7:15-8:45 & 9:45-11:15 p.m.; and Saturday, 7-8:30 & 9:30-11 p.m. Don McMillan; $25. Sunday, 7-8:30 p.m. Sound Board Marlon Wayans. $51$64. Thursday, 8 p.m.
Continuing This Week Stand-up Blind Pig Blind Pig Comedy. Mondays, 8 p.m. The Independent Comedy Club at Planet Ant Tonight vs Everybody: Open Mic Comedy. 7 p.m. $5 suggested donation; Thursdays, 9-10:30 p.m.
THEATER Performance Detroit Repertory Theatre August Wilson’s Joe Turner’s Come And Gone. $25-$30. Fridays, 8 p.m.; Saturdays, 3 & 8 p.m.; and Sundays, 2 p.m. Flint Repertory Theatre Into the Side of a Hill. $10 - $27 Friday, Feb. 2, 8-10 p.m.; Saturday, Feb. 3; 8-10 p.m.; and Sunday Feb. 4, 2-4 p.m. Garden City High School Cinderella presented by Plymouth Canton AAUW. $7 advance, $10 at the door. Thursday, 7-8 p.m.; Friday, 7-8 p.m.; and Saturday 11 a.m.-noon & 2-3 p.m. Meadow Brook Theatre Father of the Bride. $43. Wednesday, 2 & 8 p.m.; Thursday, 8 p.m.; Friday, 8 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 8 p.m.; and Sunday, 2 p.m.
Musical
Improv
Wicked $59-$199. Wednesday, 7:30 p.m.; Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 & 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1, 6:30 & 7:30 p.m.; and Tuesday, 7:30 p.m.; Detroit Opera House, 1526 Broadway St., Detroit.
Go Comedy! Improv Theater Go Comedy! All-Star Showdown. $20. Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30 & 9:30 p.m.
FILM
The Mega 80s 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.
Stand-up
Screening
The Ten Year Fanfare 5 p.m.; The Crofoot, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $15.
Aretha’s Jazz Cafe Foxxy Gwensday presents The Luvlees. $25. Wednesday, 6-10 p.m.
Longway Planetarium Through the Looking Glass: A Discussion of the Art of Microscopy; $8; 6-7 p.m.
The Fillmore Stavros Halkias: The Fat Rascal Tour. $38-$58; Friday, 7:30 & 10 pm.
Motor City Cinema Society Asylum (1972); $5; Monday, 6:30 p.m.
THAT ARENA ROCK SHOW - A TRIBUTE TO 70s AND 80s ROCK 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $18-$28. The Legendary Wailers - Featuring Junior Marvin, Leaving Lifted 8 p.m.; Emerald Theatre, 31 N. Walnut St., Mount Clemens; $20-$200.
Smells Like Nirvana with Dead Original 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.
Umphrey’s McGee 7 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $30.50-$57.50.
The Lowcocks, Frank White, The Amino Acids, The Cult of SpaceSkull 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch,
Yesterday Once More 7:30 p.m.; Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts, 12 N. Saginaw St., Pontiac;
COMEDY
Fox Theatre Tim Allen. $70-$130. Saturday, Feb. 3, 7 p.m.
Senate Theater American Homeboy - Portrait Of A Street Revolution; 6 p.m., Saturday; no cover with registration.
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ARTS
Critics’ picks
Artist talk
Ibram X. Kendi book talk BOOKS: New York Times bestselling author Ibram X. Kendi is kicking off Black History Month with a conversation on his adaptation of Zora Neale Hurston’s Barracoon with Charles H. Wright Museum president Neil A. Barclay. Kendi’s adaptation takes the true-life story of Cudjo Lewis, one of the last known survivors of the Atlantic slave trade, and presents it in an age-appropriate historical context for young people. Kendi was named one of the 100 most influential people in the world by Time magazine in 2020 and is the Andrew W. Mellon Professor in the Humanities at Boston University. The 2023 Netflix documentary Stamped from the Beginning is based on Kendi’s award-winning book Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas. He’s also known for his adult and children’s titles tackling race like, How to Be an Antiracist, Antiracist Baby, Goodnight Racism, and How to Raise an Antiracist. The book talk is free to attend with registration and autographed copies of Barracoon are available for $20. —Randiah Camille Green
Artist-led Tour: Skilled Labor with Rashaun Rucker and Gregory Johnson Thursday, 6:30-7:30 p.m.; Cranbrook Art Museum, 39221 N. Woodward Ave., Bloomfield Hills; no cover. Woodward Lecture Series: Dr. Melba Joyce Boyd: “Turning Poetry Into Film” Thursday 6-7:30 p.m.; College for Creative Studies Wendell B. Anderson Auditorium, 201 East Kirby St., Detroit; no cover.
Art Exhibition Opening Detroit Shipping Company Curated by Disco Walls: The FEL3000FT Experience; no cover; Thursday, 6-9 p.m. Padzieski Art Gallery Sharing Space Through Art - Dearborn Artist Collectives; no cover; Wednesday, 5-8 p.m..
Continuing This Week Art Exhibition Color & Ink Studio UNIFIED a Keto Green Solo Show; no cover; Fridays, 5-8 p.m.; Saturdays, 12-3 p.m.; and Sundays, 12-3 p.m. PARC Art Gallery The Art and Soul Exhibit & Sale; no cover; through March 4. Stamelos Gallery Center, UMDearborn Andy T’s Urban Vision 20012024; no cover. University of Michigan Museum of Art Unsettling Histories: Legacies of Slavery and Colonialism.
WELLNESS Self-care Day of Mindfulness Sunday, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Earthwell Retreat Center, 18580 Grass Lake Rd, Manchester; $35-$75; earthwellretreat.com.
MISC. Gaming Barcade Detroit Family Day (all children must be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian). No cover; Sunday, noon-5 p.m.
Food Movie Night at Detroit Shipping Company DC comics theme; Wednesday, 5-10 p.m.; Detroit Shipping Company, 474 Peterboro St., Detroit; no cover. Royal Oak Centennial Park Winter Blast Royal Oak; no cover; 4 p.m.-11 p.m. Friday, Feb, 2; 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 3; and 11 a.m.- 8 p.m. Sunday, Feb. 4. Feb. 2-4.
From 5-7 p.m. on Thursday, Feb 1; Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History; 315 E. Warren Ave., Detroit; thewright.org. No cover with registration. American Homeboy FILM: To kick off Chicano History Week, which runs from Feb. 2-8, Nuestra Cultura is hosting a free screening of American Homeboy at Detroit’s Senate Theater. The event will celebrate Chicano culture and highlight accomplishments of Mexican Americans in the U.S. through film, live art, music, and a panel discussion. The first hour of the event will feature networking and music, while allowing people to come in and get popcorn and snacks. The documentary explores the origins of cholo culture, which sprouted in America during times of struggle and later became a pop culture phenomenon. The film draws from interviews with Mexican American historians, academics, artists, activists, cholos, and former law enforcement officers against a backdrop pulled from 50 hours of restored archival footage. Following the screening is an hourlong panel discussion by the film’s director Brandon Loran Maxwell alongside special guest speakers, and the last hour of the event will feature a live Chicano art exhibition and
24 January 31-February 6, 2024 | metrotimes.com
Ibram X. Kendi.
more networking opportunities for community members. —Layla McMurtrie From 5-9 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 2; Senate Theater; 6424 Michigan Ave., Detroit; eventbrite.com. No cover with registration. Pietrzyk Pierogi: Paczki Brunch FOOD: It’s the most wonderful time of the year: Fat Tuesday, and the excuse to eat the deliciously decadent Polish delicacy of paczki. Erica Pietrzyk of Pietrzyk Pierogi is Detroit’s queen of Polish cuisine, who is getting ahead of the holiday by holding a pop-up brunch at Urbanrest Brewery. You can get the
OREGON STATE UNIVERSITY
Polish plates Pietrzyk is known for, and, of course, paczki — available in raspberry, strawberry jalapeño, and vanilla custard flavors — as well as treats like Paczki Waffles. Pietrzyk tells us the waffles are a combination of her grandmother’s Belgian waffle mix and ground fried paczki pieces, topped with real maple syrup and raspberry preserves. Pietrzyk will also be serving her Paczki Parfaits, filled with paczki pieces, vanilla custard, and fruit. Consider this your Paczki Day warm-up. —Lee DeVito From noon-4 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 4; Urbanrest Brewing Co., 880 E. Oakridge St., Ferndale; urbanrest.com.
metrotimes.com | January 31-February 6, 2024 25
WDET adds more local programming
MUSIC
Ahead of its 75th anniversary
THANKS FOR A GREAT SEASON, LIONS! THE OLD MIAMI TURNS 44! Fri 2/02
SEA HAG/SCUM QUEENS/ VELVET SNAKES/DEBBIE
(metal/queercore/psych/rock) Doors@9p/$5cover
Sat 2/03
HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY, OLD MIAMI! FIT FOR TREASON/ DEEMED UNFIT/EKG (hard rock/metalcore) Doors@9p/$5cover
Sun 2/04
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IAN KUJAWA! Mon 2/05
FREE POOL ALL DAY Tues 2/06
B. Y. O. R. BRING YOUR OWN RECORDS (WEEKLY)
Open Decks@8PM NO COVER IG: @byor_tuesdays_old_miami
Coming Up: 2/09 The DeCarlo Family/ Dang Quixote/The Problem 2/10 7th Annual VALIDtines Show 2/16 djkage & FRIENDS 2/17 BANGERZ & JAMZ (monthly dance party) 2/25 ABRACADABRA 2024: Strange Magic/Doubt It/Wounded Touch/Cyanide/Muddhouse/ Pepper&The Heavy Boys & MORE 3/01 Dom Shbeats/Greyhound/ Sean Monaghan/Woof/Lucy V 3/16 3rd Annual Barfly Awards! VOTE NOW@the bar! Book Your Parties at The Old Miami Email us: theoldmiamibarevents@gmail.com
Ex-Mac Saturn keyboardist Evan Daniel Mercer.
COURTESY PHOTO
Local Buzz
FBI arrests Mac Saturn keyboardist on child porn charges hours before Detroit gig Detroit rock band Mac Saturn’s keyboard player was arrested by FBI agents on child pornography charges — just hours before the band’s big record release show at the Fillmore. The Detroit News reports that Evan Daniel Mercer, a 30-year-old Farmington resident, was arrested Friday on charges including enticement of a minor and producing or attempting to produce child pornography. He faces 15-30 years in prison. According to the News, the charges stem from an incident last fall in which Mercer’s ex-girlfriend discovered screenshots on her computer of him masturbating while communicating with children on the video chat platform Omegle. One girl in a video was between 7 and 9 years old, according to an affidavit. According to the report, FBI agents interviewed Mercer on Sept. 27, who said that he started using Omegle because he was depressed during the COVID-19 lockdowns. A search warrant on Mercer’s iPhone revealed around 15 images of child porn, according to the FBI. The band’s latest album Hard to Sell was released Friday, and the Fillmore gig kicks off a 35-date tour. Mac Saturn’s publicist did not return a request from Metro Times for comment. In a statement published on social media Friday evening, the band said Mercer is no longer with the group. “We are shocked to learn about the horrifying allegations involving Evan Mercer, a recent addition to the band,”
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the statement reads. “We learned about these deeply troubling accusations earlier today and he is no longer a member of the band. Our focus continues to be on our new record, the current tour, and our amazing fans.” —Lee DeVito
Movement announces initial 2024 lineup Movement Music Festival
returns to Detroit’s Hart Plaza for Memorial Day Weekend, featuring a mix of newcomers and returning champs. The latter includes British DJ and producer Fatboy Slim, who will once again headline the festival (he last did so in 2011) as well as the duo Gorgon City. Meanwhile, festival first-timers include James Blake, actor Idris Elba (slated to perform a b2b set with Detroit’s Kevin Saunderson), Bosnian-German DJ Solomun, French producer I Hate Models, Austin’s LP Giobbi, Spanish DJ Indira Paganotto, U.K.’s VTSS (performing a b2b set with Boys Noise), and London DJ and BBC Radio 1 host Jaguar. Other acts announced include drum and bass pioneer Goldie performing as Goldie (Live Band), Italian techno duo 999999999, Chicago-born Honey Dijon, Palestinian techno act Sama’ Abdulhadi, and Detroit’s DJ Minx, among others. More acts will be announced ahead of the festival, slated for May 25-27. Tickets and more information are available at movementfestival.com. —Lee DeVito
celebration, WDET-FM 101.9 has increased its local programming with a revamped schedule that begins Feb. 5. “We take great pride in delivering what our listeners want from WDET,” says Mary Zatina, station manager. Why the change? “A recent survey overwhelmingly showed that people turn to WDET to discover the vibrant music and stories that make Detroit unique,” Zatina adds. “They are less interested in repeats of national programming that they can access elsewhere. We listened and are delivering an evolution of our entire lineup with incredible Detroit-focused programming that will reward our faithful listeners and attract new audiences.” The National Public Radio Detroit member station has added six new evening music programs hosted by members of Detroit’s music community. The new programs include Visions with Kaleigh Wilder (Mondays, 8-10 p.m.), a celebration of jazz in all genres from 1969 to today with Detroit-based baritone saxophonist, improviser, and Kresge artist fellow; The Detroit Move (Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m.), hosted by Detroit garage rock veteran Mike Latulippe of the Hentchmen, the Paybacks, and more; MI Local (Tuesdays, 9-10 p.m.), hosted by local music journalist (and Metro Times contributor) Jeff Milo; The Blvd with Waajeed (Wednesdays, 8-10 p.m.) hosted by the dance music producer, beatmaker, and DJ (Slum Village, Underground Resistance); Alternative take with Liz Warner (Thursdays, 8-10 p.m.); and The New Music Show with Shigeto (Saturdays, 8-10 p.m.) hosted by the Hamtramck-based drummer, electronic music producer, and DJ. The popular Don Was Motor City Playlist with legendary record producer and musician Don Was and music host Ann Delisi will be heard earlier on Fridays from 8-10 p.m. and repeated on Sunday at 10 p.m. Zatina says the new programs will complement WDET’s current music shows, including Ann Delisi’s Essential Music, Rob Reinhart’s Essential Music, Jon Moshier’s Modern Music, Chris Campbell’s The Progressive Underground, Acoustic Café with Rob Reinhart, This Island Earth with Ismael Ahmed, Destination Jazz — the Ed Love Program, and Jay’s Place with Jay Butler. In addition, the station will celebrate the anniversary of its first broadcast on Feb. 13, 1949 with a members-only 5-7 p.m. reception at Jam Handy in Detroit. —Ken Coleman
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FOOD This is why people love Thai By Jane Slaughter
Kacha Thai Market 205 South Main St., Royal Oak 248-942-4246 kachathaimarket.com Most entrees $14.95
Readers, I actually googled
“what makes Thai food so good?” Many, many hits, and they agreed that it’s the use of contrast: a blend of “sweet, sour, salty, and spicy flavors, creating a symphony of tastes in every dish.” Well, wouldn’t proponents of most cuisines want to claim that they create a symphony of tastes? I searched “what makes British food so good?” Nope. (And a lot fewer hits.) I agree with the internet. The best Thai dishes do have a lot going on, the complexity characteristic I always look for. I’ve tended to downplay Thai food in recent years, in favor of Vietnamese, which is a lot lighter. But I’m being won back to Thai dishes that can be, well, downright gloppy, if you want to be pejorative, or “hearty” or “filling” if you don’t. Which I don’t. Take the staple, Pad Thai, the most ordered dish at Royal Oak’s Kacha Thai according to owner Siri Pipat. Sure, bean sprouts are pretty weightless (calorifically, not nutritionally). But they’re the topping on a mélange of rice noodles, eggs, peanuts, tofu, and your choice of meat, with a palm-sugar sauce. Ethereal it’s not. And it felt like comfort food; I loved it, couldn’t stop picking though I was full. The soft, skinny noodles take on a winey vibe. And that wasn’t even the best dish I tried from an extensive menu. Looking at soups, I should have ordered Tom Yum Doo Dee just for the name. But I asked for Boat Noodle Soup (Tiew Nam Tok) instead and was not sorry. Its description reads a lot like Vietnamese pho, but with its braised beef and meatballs it’s thicker (though not stew-like at all), richer, saltier, and though I love pho, even more mouthwatering, the most unusual of the
Pad Thai Shrimp served wrapped in Thai-style omelet.
dishes we tried at Kacha Thai. Tom Kha, also a perennial favorite, likewise did not disappoint. (Be sure to ask for the newest menu, as the old ones include only Tom Yum.) Coconut cream, lime juice, peppery galangal, chicken broth, chiles — see the range of flavors, each doing its bit. Kacha Thai’s is generous with the chicken and a lovely ivory color with golden blobs of liquid fat. One online cook tells of his efforts to make Tom Kha not taste like a warm smoothie, which he achieves by cutting the coconut and boosting the galangal. Kacha may be doing the same. Curries come with a side of rice, no extra charge. Massaman is the heartiest, what with the potatoes, and I broke tradition by asking for mine with pork (its origins are Muslim). Most dishes can be had with chicken, tofu, beef, or pork and sometimes shrimp or other seafood is an option. The massaman has a good kick from the tamarind.
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Red curry, whose color is golden, is also fine, with a prominent coconut profile. Sticking with the classics, Drunken Noodles are infinitely comforting, with their soft, wide pasta. I don’t favor dishes that feature green peppers, because of their lack of flavor, but the abundance here did not hurt the dish and the licorice taste of Thai basil came through. I’d always assumed that Drunken Noodles are named for their winey taste, but it turns out it’s because they are best consumed alongside a cold beer. (There is no liquor license here yet.) I found Kacha’s fried rice more ordinary, though the other scarfers spoke highly of it. It comes in garlic and pineapple versions and with whatever meat condiment. Least enjoyable was the Moo Ping appetizer, pork skewers with a tangy sauce that didn’t work for me, despite cilantro. Other appetizers are satay, spring rolls, crab Rangoon, deep-fried tofu, wings, pork cracklings,
COURTESY PHOTO
and pork rinds. Kacha offers several versions of papaya salad but I tried apple and found it refreshing amongst the richer entrées. The Granny Smith slivers, cashews, and red onion retain their crunch in a vinegar dressing. Other “salads” are more like cold entrées, mostly meat. To drink, since there’s no beer, you can try longan soda, made from that Southeast Asian fruit. I thought the result was like a very sweet Coca Cola, with the grape-like balls floating in the liquid. Bubble tea and iced coffee are also available. Open since July, Kacha Thai is one medium-size room with wooden tables, Thai hangings, and very friendly servers. The Detroit News tapped Kacha for its list of best new restaurants in 2023. You can sample its menu at an all-you-caneat buffet event from noon-9 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 4, with a live Thai musical performance from 7-9 p.m.; the cost is $24.95.
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FOOD Chowhound
A guy I know with two Beards By Robert Stempkowski
When this year’s James Beard Awards finalists were announced, memories of my old friend, Chris Bianco, got me reliving his story. Chris and I — along with a third, long-lost musketeer named John — lived in the same Scottsdale apartment complex as virtual adolescents for a time back in the mid-’80s, when we three were doing little more than getting our feet wet in food service while treating ourselves to a steady diet of bong hits for breakfast and endless hours of basketball-playing afterwards. While neither Chris nor I know what became of John since those days, the two of us made goes of it in the restaurant business. I’m not suggesting that we became professional peers over the years, mind you. That wouldn’t be fair to say at all. While I stayed on the pipe too long and amounted to just another lifer at work in the industry, Chris lit a far more ambitious flame and became larger than life; a rare, Beard Award-winning virtuoso of pizza-centric purism, who went on to earn an otherworldly reputation for his craft, along with endless accolades and applause from the world’s culinary cognoscenti. During our salad days together, I laughed at Chris’s circumstances as he toiled in anonymity, making homemade mozzarella in his apartment bathtub, much to the chagrin of a girlfriend who gave him ne’er-do-well grief for his fledgling, perfectionist efforts to make a way for himself in the food world. When I heard he’d secured a small corner space in a busy Phoenix marketplace in the late ’80s, I was happy to hear he’d made some headway. By the early ’90s, Bianco’s burgeoning pizza enterprise had become a big success in a tonier, uptown location. When that strip mall location proved insufficient to serve his needs and crowds, Chris moved to downtown digs that have long-since become holy ground for a who’s who of Pizzeria Bianco worshippers (Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, Jerry Seinfeld, Jesus, et al.). Not surprisingly, major awards followed. In 2003, Bianco turned the till-then fine dining-focused face of the
Chris Bianco earned two James Beard Awards for his Phoenix restaurant Pizzeria Bianco.
Beard Foundation on its ear by winning in the Best Chef Southwest category, becoming the first pure pizzaiolo to garner such an honor. Then he doubled-down on his laurels nearly two decades later, taking home the 2022 Beard blue ribbon for Outstanding Restaurateur which, by then, also amounted to a lifetime achievement recognition for his long, intentional work as a proprietary advocate of cultivated partnerships between food producers, food hospitality professionals, and local epicurean populations and consumers. Between those bookend trophies, Bianco found himself becoming a Rushmore-esque founding father of the slow food movement, a warrior for the causes of fellow culinary artisans, and in 2010, ultimately, a casualty of his own tireless efforts to feed as much of the world as he could according to his convictions, after he suffered a severe asthma attack complicated by pneumonia and years of airborne flour that found its way into his lungs as he stood manning his pizza oven. The bad news from Arizona about his hard work-affected health made headlines in The New York Times. Turning in his paddle, Chris cleared his throat, picked up a pen and wrote his eponymously-titled 2017 tome, Bianco: Pizza, Pasta, and Other Food I like. I hope he found an address for that
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nagging, old girlfriend to send a signed copy to. As recently as 2022, Chris was busying himself with something you may have been treated to yourselves, perchance you’ve Netflix’d and chilled over episodes of Chef’s Table, in which he preaches parts of his good gospel sermon on gastronomic virtue like Tom Waits talking us through his truths in song writing. “He’s the Coltrane of pizza,” his episode narrator punctuates my own analogy. It’s been a minute since Chris and I last caught up. Still, he stands as a monument to me of what someone sincere, intentional, ambitious, and committed can accomplish through their life’s work. Never have I told him how much I admire him for that. Instead, I’ve always teased him about back in the day, when he wasn’t able to do a damn thing to stop my once fairly lethal outside shot from the baseline. But I only do that because I’ve always been a little envious of the slam dunk he made of his career. So, there’s the moral here, I suppose. In any story shared by friends who were just having a little fun when young are typical tales of misspent youth, told in hindsight from different perspectives by those who went on to work a little harder than they played and those who didn’t.
MARINE 69-71, WIKIMEDIA CREATIVE COMMONS
Take it from me; a guy with gray whiskers who took way too long to grow up, talking about his old buddy with two Beards to his credit, and trying to make myself feel a little better by association. Over time, reunions become less fun when you’re the one whose big baller days ended when adulthood was just getting started. And I had another chef friend: Delmar Jensen was a character I’ll also never forget, who cooked in a restaurant I once mismanaged. After one of his notoriously long lunch breaks, he returned to work the dinner end of a double high as a kite on something. As I stood across a chest-high kitchen pass questioning whether or not he was capable of getting the job done that night, I noticed the two other line cooks typically stationed next to him were keeping their distance and looking wide-eyed at me. When one pointed down toward Delmar, I approached the rail to see him standing naked from the waist-down. “You can’t do that,” I whispered within earshot of seated customers. He grinned big, laughed maniacally for a moment, covered himself with an apron, and cooked through the rest of the rush that way. Half in the bag myself, I let that happen. True story.
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CULTURE Arts spotlight
Former restaurateur splashes into Detroit art scene with avant-garde headpieces By Randiah Camille Green
For the longest time, Kwaku Osei-Bonsu’s mother was always frowning. But in a rare moment, with a fuzzy blue hat atop her head fit for an African queen, Osei-Bonsu got her to smile. “My mother just turned 70 this year and my stepdad passed away during the pandemic, so this is the first time my mother has experienced being by herself,” he says. “But also, there’s a freedom that comes with that. She joined the Red Hatters and she’s out here really flourishing into her womanhood a bit more at this age, and I think it’s just beautiful.” This photo of his mom is part of his first solo show at Spot Lite, Not for Sale: The Commodification of Black Success and Contribution. For the show, he’s created the headpieces, inspired by his Ghanaian heritage, for several of his close friends. Each piece is hand sewn using upcycled fabric sourced from Eastside Detroit’s Arts and Scraps and beads from Dabls African Bead Museum. Osei-Bonsu even makes his own fringe and uses natural dyes like indigo, turmeric, and cochineal — a pigment made from insects. He calls these headpieces “whiggs,” a play on the word “wig,” as some of them look like hair extensions. The whiggs are on display at Spot Lite along with photographs of each person they’re based on by Christian Najjar, including some glamor, abstract, and behind the scenes shots. The headpiece and photograph of his mother is called, “I Won’t Let My Greys Turn Me Blue.” “I wanted her to see herself in this light,” he says. “I think she had been frowning for so long, because things just weren’t working out.” He starts the process by interviewing each subject to get a deeper under-
Kwaku Osei-Bonsu’s “whiggs” are on display at his first solo show at Spot Lite, Not For Sale.
standing of their personality. This can range from what their favorite color is to what they feel is worth fighting for. Then he gets to work sewing and using ceramics to craft the pieces. One of the pieces is inspired by his friend Amber Lewis, a social media influencer who works for the City of Detroit. Curled fringe flanks her face on either side, mimicking the horns of a ram to represent her Aries astrological sign while ceramic pieces resembling fish sit above them. “At the time that I was making her headpiece, Amber was leading a fundraiser on Belle Isle at the aquarium,” he explains. “I created these ceramic pieces to kind of resemble the tilework that’s inside the aquarium and the fish.” While the show is a way for OseiBonsu to honor his loved ones and close friends with his creative process, it also has a double meaning about the commodification of Black contributions. “So many of these people [in the show] contribute to our society either locally, nationally, or globally, in different ways, but each of them have a story about how they were searching for self and were able to affirm themselves,” he says. Take Imani Mixon, for example, a freelance writer (and Metro Times contributor) who Osei-Bonsu says has had to fight to find opportunities and fair pay. His piece dedicated to her is called, “I’m the Key, Be the Door.” “Imani has been looking for ways to use her writing to branch out into other mediums, so right now she’s doing screenwriting, and things like that,” he says. “But her biggest challenge is, ‘I have all these skills and talents, where
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are the opportunities? Why aren’t they paying me what I’m worth? Why aren’t they giving me what I’m asking for?’” For Osei-Bonsu’s part, the commodification of Black contributions and his interest in headpieces go back to his upbringing in the Christian church. He was not only inspired by the elaborate church hats women of the congregation wore, he felt safest around these women. But he also came out as gay when he was 16 and noticed the hypocrisy in how he was treated as a young gay man. “In my flamboyance, they saw my gifts,” he says about the church he ladies. “I grew up dancing [and] I was liturging all up and through the church! They loved my gifts… but often people like what we contribute, but they don’t like us and I felt that when I was in church. You love when I’m dancing in the pulpit. You love when I’m on the praise team. You love when I’m an usher on the usher board, but as soon as I show up as just me, there’s a problem.” Osei-Bonsu learned hat making during an apprenticeship at a local hat shop called Stef-n-Ty. Prior to focusing more on his whiggs, however, he worked in the food space. He’s the founder of Detroit Black Restaurant Week and owner of EastEats, the geodesic dome restaurant in Jefferson Chalmers that operated from 20202022 as a response to indoor dining restrictions. He also operated a similar dome restaurant concept in Idlewild at Morton’s Motel for a few years, but found running the restaurants exhausting with unique challenges. “At EastEats we had a two-year permit and it expired then my business
CHRISTIAN NAJJAR
partner and I went our separate ways… and I just didn’t have the energy to run both and fight for rezoning because EastEats is on a residential lot,” he says. “I wasn’t mad at it because at the time, I never really got to process the pandemic. My stepdad died during the pandemic and once everything started to settle down, I think it all started to hit me.” He adds, “Profit margins in a restaurant are [slim] and one mistake of pricing or execution, like, it’s a wrap. So when I see people running a restaurant, I’m like, ‘You’re doing that!’ Because I tried it and that was not it. It was not cute and it wasn’t fun.” Osei-Bonsu still owns the lots EastEats sits on, which he purchased from the Detroit Land Bank for $100 and is thinking about new ways to use the land. He’s considering building tiny homes or a “third space” for people in the neighborhood to hang out. “Most of the vacant land in Detroit is on the Eastside,” he says. “I’m a land use advocate and I really do think that there’s an opportunity for Detroit to support businesses that are in residential zones where their sole purpose is to provide dollars for the people that live within, like, a certain block radius.” He may also relaunch Black Restaurant Week in the future with a rebrand and new focus, but for now he’s focusing on his whiggs. And no, they’re not for sale, although the photographs in the show are. Not for Sale: The Commodification of Black Success and Contribution is on view through March 30 at Spot Lite; 2905 Beaufait St., Detroit; spotlitedetroit.com.
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CULTURE
Jenna Ortega gives Miller’s Girl her all, but it’s not enough.
Film
Not another teen temptress By Craig D. Lindsey
Miller’s Girl Rated: R Run-time: 93 minutes
When I heard about the new
movie Miller’s Girl, my initial reaction was, “We’re still making these?” The story of a clever, cunning, desirable teenage girl wrapping a middleaged man around her little finger and sending him down a life-destroying path was a major plot in the 1990s: Poison Ivy, The Crush, Wild Things. Alyssa Milano starred in a bunch of straight-to-video flicks. There was even one in the mid-aughts, Pretty Persuasion, where Evan Rachel Wood was the manipulative nymphet. Maybe it’s because erotic thrillers have been making a comeback of sorts (as my colleague Kayla McCulloch summarized in a recent review) that Lionsgate greenlit this tale of forbidden seduction. However, since we’re also living in a time when people know what “grooming” means (and have zero tolerance for anyone who’s caught doing
that shit), a movie about a middle-aged man succumbing to a tempestuous teen just may be the wrong thing to drop in theaters — even if the teen is played by the in-demand Jenna Ortega. Yes, the new Wednesday Addams plays the absurdly named Cairo Sweet, a highly intelligent 18-year-old who lives alone in a big mansion (her parents are always away) and longs to be a provocative writer. She finds a mentor in Jonathan Miller (Martin Freeman), her high school English teacher. Dude is immediately won over by this wellread, wise-beyond-her-years youngin’, especially when he finds out she’s been reading the only book he ever published, a collection of short stories. Screenwriter Jade Halley Bartlett (who originally was hired to write the Doctor Strange sequel before she was dismissed) uses her directorial debut to kill two birds with one stone, making both a salacious, Southern-fried hothouse drama and an almost-obnoxiously erudite commentary on gender power dynamics. Bartlett has said in interviews that the script started out as
34 January 31-February 6, 2024 | metrotimes.com
ZAC POPIK
a play, and it so shows. The dialogue is Aaron Sorkin-style wordy, while many of the scenes, especially between Freeman and Ortega, are staged like a hotand-bothered version of David Mamet’s sexual harassment study Oleanna. Also, the movie is set in Tennessee (it was really filmed in Georgia, of course), which means that most of the cast talk like they’re cats on a hot tin roof. This includes Miller’s wife (Dagmara Dominczyk), a boozy, foul-mouthed workaholic who’s amused (and slightly turned on) that her husband has a groupie; and Sweet’s BFF (Gideon Adlon, King of the Hill actress Pamela Adlon’s daughter), a “lesbian” who still wants to get deflowered by Miller’s baseball coach buddy (Sherman’s Showcase/South Side co-creator/star Bashir Salahuddin). It’s kinda wild watching Freeman, that sardonic, nebbishy Brit from the original The Office, play a so-called Southern gent who tries (and fails) not to fall for the flirty, feminine wiles of Ortega’s scintillating sociopath. When Sweet writes an insanely filthy, Henry Miller-esque short story, the guy has no choice but to go to his office/shed and rub one out. Yeah, that’s some creepy shit. And although Ortega gives it her all as an adolescent who’s more intelligent than emotionally stable (the tearful, vindictive, one-take dressing-down her character
gives Miller after he rejects her and her short story could very well be the best piece of acting she’s done so far in her young career), the movie doesn’t know whether to make her savvy and self-aware or deranged and straight-up damaged. Even when it oozes with extraness, Miller’s Girl is an erotic thriller that isn’t that erotic or thrilling. Bartlett seems almost too afraid to actually take that leap and make everyone in this awkward-ass yarn slide into the amoral abyss. Miller may be a horny egomaniac and Sweet may be just fucked up in the head, but Bartlett sees them as sad, lonely kindred spirits secretly looking for affection and admiration. To be honest, watching a story of May-December sordidness just feels icky at this point in time. Before I saw this, I caught part two of Jimmy Savile: A British Horror Story, the Netflix docuseries about a revered, British celeb who spent most of his career sexually assaulting children, practically going to his grave without being punished for his crimes. Seeing randy, older guys and coquettish, younger girls do the will-they-or-won’t-they dance may have been entertainingly naughty 30 years ago. But in this post-#MeToo era, Miller’s Girl is just another reminder that men will always be ready to risk it all for a pretty, young thang.
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CULTURE Savage Love Quickies By Dan Savage
Q: How do you tell the difference
between when someone says they love you in a Platonic way and when someone says they love you in a romantic way?
A: Ask a direct question: “That’s nice
— but do you mean that platonically or do you mean that passionately? Like, do you just wanna hang out or do you wanna hang and fuck and hang out some more and fuck some more?”
Q: What is the best body-safe material for pegging toys that’s compatible with silicone-based lube?
A: “Normally my top choice for peg-
ging is 100% silicone toys but we usually recommend only using them with waterbased lube,” said Searah Deysach, the owner of Chicago’s sex-toy shop Early to Bed [LINK: https://www.early2bed. com/]. “But silicone-lube-compatible toys like glass, hard plastic, and steel are not ideal for pegging with a harness as they have no flexibility. So, you have two options if you’re wedded to the idea of silicone lube. You can roll an unlubricated condom over your silicone toy to protect it from the lube or you can do a small patch test of your preferred lube on your silicone toy to see if it affects the surface. But be warned! Some toy warranties are void if you use silicone lube on them!”
Q: I have a would-be lover. We’ve
talked. We’ve texted. But we haven’t acted on anything. It’s been so long that I’ve had a chance to do anything like this — I spent decades in a sexless marriage — that I’m afraid I don’t know how to do this anymore. And given that I’m in menopause, things don’t quite feel the same in that area. Any tips to get me back in the saddle?
A: I think you would benefit from
reading Dr. Jen Gunter’s invaluable book The Menopause Manifesto. Also, I would urge you to explore that area solo — your vulva, your clit, your vagina — before acting on anything with your would-be lover. And by, “explore that area solo,” what I mean is, “masturbate like crazy, using toys and lubes, and discover what feels good and works for you now so you
can share that with your would-be lover when the time is right.”
Q:
What does it mean if you straight and you gay friend seduces you and you like it that means you gay too right
A: Could mean you gay or could mean
you bi or pan or flex but doesn’t mean you can’t still identify as straight if straight feels like it comes closest to reflecting your usual desires, erotic targets, romantic interests, etc.
Q: I recently began dating a man who
likes choking me as much as I like being choked. A few days after some rough choking, I developed a severe sore throat. Could this have been caused by the choking or is it a coincidence? Additionally, what are the risks if I let him choke until I pass out for a second?
A: The risk for you: not waking up.
The risk for him: going to prison. Look, choking is dangerous and choking “play” should only involve simulated or symbolic choking. The kind of throttling that leaves you with a sore throat days later — to say nothing of being choked out — is extremely dangerous. Please stop.
Q: Young couple with two kids, married five years, now talking divorce. Will opening up the marriage help?
A: If opening up the marriage is the
only other option on the table — if it’s open or over — then opening up the marriage is obviously the better choice. But if opening up the marriage doesn’t resolve a key conflict in the marriage (say one person is done with sex and the other person isn’t), divorce is probably inevitable.
Q:
I’m getting mixed signals from someone who runs hot and cold, and I don’t know how to interpret some of the things he does. He used to want sex all the time; now he doesn’t as much. He doesn’t initiate much, save for hugs. How do I get him to be clear about whether he wants to be with me or cut me loose?
A: Cutting him loose yourself will
make something clear to him — namely, that you’re not thrilled with the trajectory of the relationship — and his reaction to being cut loose will provide you with the clarity you need from him.
Q: I’m in a sexless but otherwise won-
derful marriage. Hubby knows about and supports my outside sex life. Recently, to my dismay, I contracted herpes. What
36 January 31-February 6, 2024 | metrotimes.com
are your thoughts about my obligation to tell potential sex partners? Most of them won’t wear condoms. Does your answer change if I’m on meds? Does your answer change if I’m with one person as opposed to a sex club? The two people I did tell ran for the hills. Your thoughts?
A: People who have casual sex with
multiple partners — one at a time or one right after the other in a sex club — are volunteering for herpes. And while I think you should disclose, I can certainly understand why you might hesitate, given the irrational reactions you’ve received from people who should know better.
Q: My boyfriend comes in me fre-
quently, but I’m not concerned about that. I have an IUD. However, I love to cum before and after penetration, and he will not finger me after he comes in me, fearing he will “push the sperm in deeper” and increase my chances of pregnancy Can you help clear this up for us?
A: I don’t think your boyfriend is
actually worried about your IUD failing — IUDs have very low failure rates (you could’ve googled that yourself) — I think your boyfriend, like many men, not only rapidly loses interest in sex after he comes, he’s a little grossed out the same fluids and activities that were turning him on immediately before he came. Maybe instead of asking him to put his fingers back inside you, you could ask him to use a toy on you instead.
Q: My boyfriend likes to be tied up and
left alone. I’m happy to do it for him. But he also likes to be tied up and left alone when there are other people in our apartment who don’t know he’s tied up in another room. Is this a consent violation?
A: Yes, but it’s a minor one, and I will
allow it. To have a clearer conscience, let your friends know your boyfriend is in the apartment but he’s working on something and in the zone or not feeling well and under the covers — either way, he won’t be coming out to say hello. (For the record: Leaving someone alone in bondage is dangerous. If you’re going to do this dangerous thing — and I’m officially advising you not to do this dangerous thing — please follow the safety tips laid out in this post.)
Q:
partners than you and posts the proof on Instagram and Twitter. “But I’ve personally had a lot of luck just using Grindr and with the ‘spanking’ tag, a hot profile pic, and a bio that’s straight forward about what I’m looking for. A lot of men are into spanking and don’t even realize it — so, you just have to bring it up and see where it goes. With spanking and other kinks, it helps to be direct with what you’re looking for. And when I’m lucky enough to be talking to a real dad, I’ll say something like, ‘So, as a dad, do you think I deserve a spanking for showing off my bare bottom on Grindr and Twitter?’ The answer is almost always yes.”
Q: What do you search for when looking for domination and submission?
A: Take Spanking Boy’s advice and
ask for what you want. If you’re a gay or bi man seeking D/s play, get on Recon. If you’re straight or bi woman seeking D/s play, get on Fetlife or Feeld. But you can be out and kinky on “normal” dating apps, too, and being honest and direct with people you meet offline is a good strategy. (Remember: the people you meet in normie spaces assume you’re vanilla… and you’re not. They might not be either.)
Q:
I’m a gay male and I’ve been with my husband for 35 years. The sex has stopped. He has Crohn’s disease and feels a bit — to say the least — uncomfortable stopping sex to go take a shit in the middle of sex. I’m ok with it, but he uses it as an excuse to avoid it. Maybe I need to look outside our “love nest” for sex? You’re old like me, Dan. What would you do?
A: If my partner wasn’t feeling up for
butt stuff — especially if there was an underlying medical issue that made butt stuff impossible and/or uncomfortable and/or depressing — I would pivot to oral or mutual masturbation or an artfully deployed toy. He may not be able to get fucked right now or anymore, but he might be able to put a Fleshlight between his legs and squeeze his thighs together, which would pretty effectively simulate penetrative sex. But if your partner has a chronic health problem that makes ass fucking impossible and you define sex as fucking your partner’s ass, well, then the sex is going to stop unless you get creative.
MM spanking. I want it. I know other boys are getting it, as I see their pics and videos all over Twitter. Why can’t I find it?
Eating butt — how clean does it need to be?
A: “There’s a great app geared toward
A: For safety? Sparkling. For taste?
the MM spanking scene called Whappz that I’ve had some luck with,” said The Spanking Boy, a gay spanking enthusiast who’s had a more luck finding play
Q:
You’re gonna want a little sweat — not fecal matter, not filth, just a little clean sweat from the gym, the dance floor, or a run.
Q: Open/poly/married. We’re both
talking to and flirting with the last people we were with before we met, fell in love with each other, and got married. Should we go for it?
A: People are gonna want me to say
something along the lines of, “What could possibly go wrong?!?,” thereby implying something almost certainly will go wrong. But in my experience, non-toxic exes who like your current partner (and partnership) are great regular guest stars. Rule of thumb: if they were at your wedding, that’s a good sign.
Q: I’m almost four years widowed and miss sex. But I’m feeling too fragile for the app scene.
A: I’m so sorry for your loss — and
I hope you don’t mind that I’m answering your question in a Quickies column. If it had been four months or even a year, I would tell you to listen to your gut and wait. But at four years… you’re need to push yourself outside your comfort zone. Remember: you’re not obligated to meet up with anyone. And while you’re setting aside one gut feeling (still feeling fragile), you’re not de-activating your gut. If someone or something doesn’t feel right, you can and should listen to your gut and bail. But it’s time to start taking risks again. I’ll be rooting for you.
Q:
My boyfriend of eight years has a thing that happens every once in a blue moon, and I would like to know if it happens to any other men out there. Every so often his dick appears to “molt” and in the process seems to grow a little. Like a snake shedding its skin. This has happened three times and he’s gotten noticeably bigger each time. Since we met, his cock went from 8 1/2 inches to almost 9. Have you ever heard of this?
A: So, what you’re saying is that
lizard people are real — they’re not just another lunatic rightwing conspiracy — and you’ve been fucking one since Donald Trump came down that escalator nine years ago. Coincidence? There are no coincidences.
Q:
I am a 42-year-old married mother of three. My husband has a heart of gold, is loving, committed and present for me and my family… and I’ve never been that sexually attracted to him. Now, almost twenty years in (and monogamous the entire time), I want to fuck other people. He tries in bed, but I am not satisfied. What do I do? I want to stay married, and I feel frustrated that I can’t resist the attentions of a hot guy.
A: Well, as I’ve repeatedly said, I
think if you’re married to someone for decades and you only cheat on them once or twice, you were pretty good at monogamy. So, as you approach the two-decade mark, I hope you continue to be good at monogamy — and if your husband finds out you weren’t perfect at it at some point, well, here’s hoping he’s polyamorous.
Q:
No question. Just wanted to thank you. Listening to you gave me the courage to be honest with my girlfriend. So, it’s thanks to you, Mr. Savage, that I have a wonderful fiancée now who understands that, even though I’m straight, only gay men can suck my cock the way I need my cock sucked.
A: Tell your fiancée I said, “Congrats!,” and tell your cocksuckers I said, “You’re welcome!”
Q:
Me: not using doxy pep, exclusive/ not sleeping with other people. Him: using doxy pep, and open/sleeping with other people. Am I still at risk for the STIs doxypep counteracts?
A: “I’m a huge fan of DoxyPEP for
prevention of particularly syphilis and chlamydia (70-74% success rate in early studies) and less so gonorrhea (40-50%),” said Doctor Carlton [LINK: https://www.instagram.com/doctorcarlton], a California-based gastroenterologist and gay sexual health advocate. “So, with these numbers, your reader is obviously still at risk from these STIs — and others DoxyPEP doesn’t cover — as it’s not 100% protection, even when taken properly. Nonetheless, it’s better than nothing if you’re having non-monogamous condomless sex!”
Q: How do I stretch my foreskin? A: With as much force and velocity as you can muster up — just one massive, powerful tug is all it takes.
Q: Are gay tops not interested in their partners’ dicks?
A: Most gay men, tops and bottoms,
are into dick. That said, there are tops out there who really don’t care whether a bottom has a dick or not. And while it’s fashionable to condemn these guys for being selfish, they make great sex partners for gay trans men and for gay cis men who want to have their cocks ignored, e.g., guys into caging, chastity, or look into a camera and say, “I’m just a hole, Sir,” and actually mean it.
Got problems? Everyone does! Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.
metrotimes.com | January 31-February 6, 2024 37
CULTURE Free Will Astrology By Rob Brezsny ARIES: March 21 – April 19 “Happiness” is an amorphous term with a different meaning for everyone. What makes me feel happy may be unlike what works for you. Besides that, any kind of perfect happiness is impossible to achieve. However we define it, we are always a mix of being happy and unhappy. Nevertheless, I invite you to ruminate about the subject in the coming days. I believe you are primed to arrive at a realistic new understanding of your personal version of happiness — and raise your happiness levels by at least 15%. Maybe more! Now here are helpful clues from philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “Precisely the least thing, the gentlest, lightest thing, the rustling of a lizard, a breath, a whisk, a twinkling of the eye — what’s little makes up the quality of the best happiness. Soft!” TAURUS: April 20 – May 20 I invite you to take an inventory
of your taboos, inhibitions, and restrictions. Meditate on why you originally adopted them. Evaluate how well they have served you and whether they are still meaningful. If you find any of them have become unnecessary or even injurious, jettison them. And be excited and happy about being free of them. If you decide that some taboos, inhibitions, and restrictions are still wise for you to maintain, thank them for their service and honor the self-protection they provide. GEMINI: May 21 – June 20 Gemini novelist Gregory Maguire says there are a “thousand ways people shrink from life, as if chance and change are by their nature toxic and disfiguring.” Your assignment in the coming weeks is to contradict his theory. I’m hoping you will interpret all chance and change as potentially expansive, redemptive, and interesting. You will never shrink from life, but will boldly meet challenges and embrace twists of fate as interesting opportunities. I have abundant faith in your ability to carry out this vigorous project! CANCER: June 21 – July 22 You could be a masterful eliminator of toxins and wastes in the coming weeks. Do it both for yourself and for those you care about. Start by purging nonessentials that obstruct the flow of the good life. These might include defunct fantasies, mistaken understandings, apathetic attitudes, and unloving approaches. Among the other dross or dreck you could root out is any clutter that’s making familiar environments feel oppressive. By the way, fellow Cancerian, this should be fun. If it’s not, you’re doing it wrong.
If the groundhog orders, 6 Guinness, and 6 Powers, It’s an early spring. If he orders, 6 margaritas and 6 lemon drops, it will be long merciless winter with subzero temperatures.
IT WAS A DAMN
GOOD GAME
ALL THE SAME!!
LEO: July 23 – August 22 My goals right now are to inspire you in the following three ways: 1. to be full of love for your daily life; 2. to adore yourself exactly as you are; 3. to shed any numbness or boredom you feel and replace them with alert aliveness. To help you in this exalted effort, I offer the inspiration of three quotes. 1. “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson. 2. “The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.” –Eden Phillpotts. 3. “I have the mysterious feeling of seeing for the first time something I have always known.” –Bernardo Bertolucci.
38 January 31-February 6, 2024 | metrotimes.com
VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22 In the coming weeks, I hope you avoid sucking up to egotistical manipulators. Please also refrain from being an unappreciated beast of burden and a half-willing pawn in boring games. If you are interested in paying off karmic debts, make sure they are yours, not anyone else’s. If you plan to work hard to lay the foundation for a future liberation, get a guarantee that YOU will be one of the liberated people. P.S.: I’m fine with you doing unselfish things as long as they will also have selfish benefits. LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 One of the great maladies affecting modern people is the atrophy of the soul. It’s related to another affliction: the apathy of the soul. A key contributor to these misfortunes is the entertainment industry. Its shallow and artificial stimuli are engineered to overfeed our egos, leaving our poor souls malnourished. Please note that I have no problem with our egos. They are an important part of our make-up and are essential for healthy functioning. But it›s a shame they hog all the glory and sustenance. Now here’s my climactic message for you, Libra: It’s high time to celebrate a holiday I call Nurture the Soul. Make it last at least three weeks. Homework: Identify three actions you will take to excite, cherish, and enhance your soul. SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21: In myth and legend, pregnancies don’t always begin with two humans having sexual communion. The wellknown story of the Virgin Mary tells us she was impregnated when the Holy Spirit, disguised as a dove, whispered in her ear. The Roman goddess Juno conceived her son Mars solely with the help of an enchanted lily flower. The Greek hero Attis germinated inside his virgin mother Nana after she placed a pomegranate in her lap. This might sound outlandish, but I foresee you having a metaphorically comparable experience. Do you believe in the possibility of being fertilized by miraculous magic or a divine spirit? Might you be dramatically awakened or inspired by a very subtle influence? I think it will happen even if you don’t believe. SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 Sagittarian computer scientist Grace Hopper (1906–1992) wrote, “The most damaging phrase in the language is: ‘It’s always been done that way.’” I will expand on that wisdom. The most obvious meaning is that we risk ignoring our individualized needs and suppressing our creative inspirations if we mindlessly conform to the habits of
society. But it›s equally important not to mindlessly repeat our own longstanding ways of doing things. Maybe they were brilliant and appropriate in the past, but there’s no guarantee they will always be so. In conclusion, Sagittarius, I recommend you rebel against your own personal “it’s always been done that way” as well as everyone else’s. CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 Being in love is as desirable for you Capricorns as it is for everyone else. You may be less open and dramatic than the rest of us in expressing your yearnings, but they are still a driving force. Here’s an important point: Even if you are not constantly chattering to others about your urges to give and receive intimate care, it’s crucial that you acknowledge them to yourself. To keep your soul healthy, you must be in close touch with this core fuel. You must love your need for love. Now is an excellent time to deepen your appreciation for these truths. AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 It’s the fifth annual Brag Therapy Holidayn — for you Aquarians only. During this celebration, we expect you — indeed we want you — to boast with panache. Tell us all in exquisite detail why you are such a marvelous creation. Explain how you have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds to transform yourself into a masterpiece of intuitive intelligence. Regale us with stories of your winsome qualities, your heroic triumphs, and your hilarious and poignant adventures on the edge of reality. Make sure we understand how educational and healing it can be to bask in your influence. Show us why we should regard you as a role model. PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20 I invite you to resolve old business, draw unrewarding projects to a close, and finish your lessons at the School of Tough Love. You don’t have to carry out my next proposal, but if you do, I will be glad: Politely and quietly scream “Get out of my life” at anyone who doesn’t give you the respect and kindness you deserve. I also recommend that you do a WrapIt-Up Ritual. Start by making an altar that pleases you with its beauty. Take scraps of paper and write on each one a description of an influence or experience you want to purge from your life. As you rip each scrap into bits, say this: “I’m grateful for what I have learned from you, but now I am leaving you behind.” Homework: Read and hear free excerpts from my new book: tinyurl.com/ BraveBliss
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40 January 31-February 6, 2024 | metrotimes.com