BECOME
Conversations
When teaching
forgiveness, point to Jesus
©©Istockphoto
“And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” —Ephesians 4:32 THIS VERSE SOUNDS SIMPLE, DOES IT NOT? God forgave you, so you are to forgive others. Paul wrote these words in his letter to the Ephesians. It comes after a big “therefore” following his explanation of how Jesus provided salvation and what that means to Jews and Gentiles alike. It is written in a section that expresses how believers, as grateful recipients of grace, are to behave. Life is hard. Relationships are complicated. Temptation and selfishness make forgiveness difficult. Remember we live in a fallen world. The enemy wants to stop forgiveness. Grudges and hard hearts are the results of his work. In a world like this, we need to constantly remind our children of God’s forgiveness and our gratefulness. The job of all believers is to be like Jesus toward others in order to draw them toward His love, not push them away from it. Help your teen remember three things: 1. Jesus never took personal offense. He kept his focus on greater issues. The next time your daughter is offended at the carelessness of someone else, remind her to take all matters into consideration concerning the offense. Is the offender hurting? Is it possible that she misunderstood the person? Is there a way to help that person overcome anger or another issue? 2. Jesus never held a grudge. You will never read of Him allowing preconceived notions to affect a situation.
If there is a teacher or authority who seems “out to get” your son or daughter, remind your teen that each new interaction or situation does not necessarily have to be a continuance of a previous one. Holding a grudge or preconceived notion of someone’s intentions limits how successfully he or she can communicate and cooperate with that person the next time. 3. Jesus never got even. His focus was to stay on His mission of forgiving others. When your daughter is hurt by another student, remind her that Christians are not called to get even, but to give grace. No matter how many times she may be hurt (see Matthew 18:21-22), there is always a call to forgive. (There is no excuse for true abuse of any kind, and you, as a parent, should be aware of and act upon anything that falls in this area.) Help your teen in the struggle to be authentic. This subject is easy to talk about but hard to live out. Look for opportunities in other conversations to interject God’s call to authenticity.
KEVIN GARRETT has served in music ministry, collegiate ministry, and student ministry. He currently serves as associate pastor for education and outreach at Parker Memorial Baptist Church in Anniston, Ala.
APRIL 2014 41