Life Stages
Anxious About Everything What’s stressing out your teen? It probably depends on their stage of adolescence. by Catherine Hickem
Young Teen (13-15) This stage of development surfaces a lot of attention around a child’s physical development. Boys are preoccupied with whether they can hold their own with other males in their circle. Some boys develop later than others, and for those who are late bloomers, this can be extremely difficult. Similarly, girls are incredibly self-conscious about their weight and size, not to mention their appearance. They compare themselves to those they think “have it together” and will
14 Parenting Teens
experience deep feelings of inadequacy. Most adolescent girls in this age range feel invisible and simply want to be liked, noticed and needed. This stage is often when parents will face more struggles with clothing, make-up and boy-girl activities. The early teen years surface behaviors some parents have not previously experienced. Kids are scared of being rejected and misunderstood. They don’t want to disappoint their parents, but they also want to fit in. They don’t know who they are, where they’re going, or whether anyone notices they exist! They can seem grounded one minute and crazy the next. What to Do • Stay calm and consistent amidst their inconsistency. They need a wall to bounce against, and it needs to be you. They will often not have a clue why they do what they do, but they will benefit from knowing you are big enough to handle them. • Set clear boundaries. Most adolescents do not have the maturity to handle unbridled freedom. • Reinforce the qualities of their character and heart. In the end, what really matters is what kind of people they are. ©©Thinkstock
Adolescents are funny creatures. Many parents believe they’d have an easier time pinning Jell-O to the wall than reading their teen. The truth is that most teenagers can be interpreted rather easily if you understand where they are developmentally, especially when it comes to their stress and anxiety issues. In many cases, parents create stress for their teen because they fail to recognize what is going on in their child’s heart and mind. The good news for all of us is that teens do outgrow their adolescent stages, and parents can use this season of life to deepen the trust they share with their ever-changing son or daughter.