ASHA Journey to Healing
Asha Journey to Healing™ Participants Handbook, English (Anglicised)
Copyright © 2023 by Biblica, Inc.
All rights reserved worldwide.
Quotations from the Bible in this edition are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Reader’s Version™ (Anglicised), NIrV™
Copyright © 1995, 1996, 1998, 2014 by Biblica, Inc.
All rights reserved worldwide.
The “NIrV”, “New International Reader’s Version”, “Biblica”, “International Bible Society” and the Biblica Logo are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.
No part of this edition may be used or reproduced without the prior written permission of Biblica, Inc. Permission requests must be directed to and approved in writing by Biblica, Inc. through the Contact link at www.Biblica.com, or by mail to Biblica, Inc., Attn: Rights and Permissions, 300 General Palmer Drive, #4, Palmer Lake, CO 80133, USA.
BIBLICA, THE INTERNATIONAL BIBLE SOCIETY, provides God’s Word to people through Bible translation & Bible publishing, and Bible engagement in Africa, Asia Pacific, Europe, Latin America, Middle East, and North America. Through its worldwide reach, Biblica engages people with God’s Word so that their lives are transformed through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
ISBN: 978-1-64976-501-7
ASHA Journey to Healing
Kintsugi is a Japanese form of art. It repairs broken pottery using gold to fill in the cracks. It comes from the belief that we can build strength and resilience from things that are imperfect. From flaws and damages we can create something new and beautiful. The same can be said of the healing process after trauma. God can put our lives back together again. We will be different. But we can also be stronger and wiser.
Abuse hijacks us. It shatters our world and all that we believe is safe. The hurts we experience can live on in our bodies, minds, and hearts. They change the way we think, how we feel and what we do every day. Having lived through such horrible experiences, we long for comfort and hope. But instead, we often feel alone and unwanted. We feel pushed away by people and by God. If this is how you feel, then this book is for you.
This book will give voice to your anger, heartbreak, fears and hopes.
There are many ways we can be hurt by other people. This hurt can be to our bodies, like bullying, rape, or beatings. It can be hurt to our minds. When someone treats us as if we are worthless. Or keeps telling us how bad or ugly we are. It can also be hurt to our hearts, like not being cared for. Not getting what we need. In Asha – Journey to Healing, you will learn about the wounds these hurts may leave. This is called trauma. You will see that you are not alone in how you react to trauma. And you will learn what you can do to help yourself. There are things you can do to change your reactions.
With help, you can learn to break the patterns of trauma and begin to heal.
You will also learn about Jesus’ reaction to your suffering. Jesus makes it very clear that he came into the world so we can know God. We see God’s heart in the way Jesus lived. Each word, each look, each silence, and each touch is a sign of how God thinks and feels. And so, Jesus’ words and actions open our eyes to God’s horror at the abuse of any of his beloved people. They tell us of
The Bible tells us that God wants to heal those who have been hurt and abused.
When the Israelites were slaves in Egypt, God gave himself the name, I AM. God was telling the Israelites, I am the one, true God. I am with you. I am the one who will never leave you and will rescue you. Hundreds of years later, Jesus explained that he was the Son of God by also using I AM sayings. He used pictures from everyday life to help us understand. In the Gospel of John, Jesus says I am … seven times. He says,
I am the bread of life – John 6:35
I am the light of the world – John 8:12
I am the gate – John 10:9
I am the good shepherd – John 10:11, 14
I am the resurrection and the life – John 11:25
I am the way and the truth and the life – John 14:6
I am the vine – John 15:1, 5
We invite you to read stories about how Jesus acted towards people others ignored or looked down on.
It is our prayer that you will discover the love God has for his wounded daughters.
We pray it will bring you comfort for today and strength for tomorrow. That it will lift you up to live life to the full again.
Looking at and thinking about your pain or loss may be difficult. You may not like the way it makes you feel. It’s a hard road to
Freda’s
Grief
Roadmap for reading
We all react to being hurt in different ways.
There is no right or wrong way to think, feel or react to what happens to us.
Our bodies and minds protect us in any way that they can. But after a while, these emergency ways of handling our pain, can hold us back. They can prevent us from moving on and really living.
Working through trauma can be scary and painful. To heal, we are invited to face the feelings that we have been pushing down. It helps to remember bad things that we have been trying to forget. We may need to change how we act, to break the patterns of behaviour we have learnt. And we may also need to learn to trust other people again. To believe in other
You may be reading this book with a group or on your own. The roadmap will help you to get the most from this nineweek journey to healing you are about to begin.
Each week contains the following
• Story – these are not stories from actual women. But they reflect the experiences of real pain and suffering of women from all over the world. They tell of the many ways in which we can experience abuse and how our bodies and minds may react. Perhaps you will see yourself in some of these stories.
• Let’s talk about it – this is a chance to begin to face what happened to you and how this changed you. You can learn why you react the way you do. You can discover what might help you to move forward.
• Read a section of John’s gospel – this tells us more about Jesus and how he came to save and heal us.
• Let’s think about it – this is a time to explore the I AM sayings of Jesus, and how they speak to what happened to you.
• Let’s practise it – trauma lives on in our bodies. It is important to learn skills to change how our bodies react and to calm ourselves.
• Homework – continue the journey to healing through the week. The questions will help you think more about the heart of God for his wounded daughters. The skills homework will help you to grow stronger and believe in yourself.
Fullness of life
Jesus said, “A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so they may have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way.”
John 10:10
A warm welcome as you start this nine-week programme. You are beginning a journey to healing and living your life in new ways. You will explore ways to help you live your life to the fullest.
You will look at the words and actions of Jesus. You will see how they can help you and show you the way.
Our hope is that this book will guide you to a life of meaning and joy in Christ.
What is the fullness of life?
Every person is unique. This means that no one is like you or me. We are each born with special abilities and gifts. We are naturally good at certain things. We love doing some things more than others. We find joy in the things we are good at. These are our strengths. They are given to us by God. We serve the world in our own way by knowing and using these strengths.
The world needs our gifts and abilities to bring peace, joy, hope, justice and love to others.
Using our gifts and living with purpose, honours God. He wants us to live our lives as fully as we can. But sometimes this isn’t easy. Especially when we are hurting or suffering. When we have experienced trauma.
What do you think a full life of wellness and growth looks like for you?
What is trauma and how does it make our lives small?
Trauma is when we have been hurt.
But it isn’t only our bodies that can be hurt. Our hearts and our minds can also be hurt. This is because there are many different kinds of trauma. We can lose someone or something important to us. We can be beaten or raped. We can suffer from not being cared for. We can be told that we are worthless. Even hearing about something that happened to someone else can hurt us.
Sometimes it’s not just one trauma, like someone close to us dying. Sometimes the trauma happens again and again, like being beaten by a family member. These experiences can make us feel scared, helpless, angry or hopeless all the time. We can feel we can’t get away from the pain.
Trauma can take over our lives.
It can hijack us. People who live through trauma often struggle for a long time afterwards. We can feel deep sadness, worry and fear. We can think that we are bad, and what has happened is our fault. We can believe we are worth nothing. We may find it hard to trust ourselves or others. This can make it hard to be close to people. For some of us, we remember the trauma all the time.
Trauma can also change what we do and how we live.
Our thoughts change. Our feelings change. Even our bodies change. Things quickly become too much for us. This makes us feel out of control. We can feel far from God, other people, and even ourselves. It may even make it difficult for us to have faith in God.
After a while we stop going to places that upset us or make us scared. We withdraw and see less of other people. We try to control everything around us. We shrink into ourselves and become less than we are meant to be. And our lives become smaller and smaller.
The only way to begin to live fully again is to begin the journey to healing.
Let’s think about it
Read John 3:1–21
• In this story, how much does God love the world?
• Why did God send his Son into the world?
• What does it mean to be born again?
• How can we live by the truth?
We are all made by God. We are all made like him. God made us to be whole and happy.
God wants us to live our lives to the full.
God loves us so much that he sent his Son, Jesus, into the world. Jesus showed us the way to a whole and happy life.
Jesus’ actions and words show us who God is. We learn about God through learning about Jesus. And, as we will see in the coming weeks, Jesus came to bring value to all of us. He showed love and respect to everyone. He taught that everyone has a place and everyone belongs.
Most of all, Jesus came to set us free. He came to change our suffering into strength and understanding. He came to help us live life to the full.
Let’s pray about it
Dear Lord, thank you that you invite me to live my life to the fullest. I pray that these next weeks will bring healing where I need it. My prayer is that this journey will help me to see more clearly. To feel more freely. To love more openly. I want to live the full life that you want for me. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Read John 1 – 4:42
Take note
ɥ How the word see is used often. John points to Jesus, who shows us what God, the Father, is like. We can’t see the Father. So, Jesus came to show us God’s heart for all people. God’s love doesn’t judge us. His love doesn’t think that we aren’t good enough. His love knows that we are precious.
ɥ In the Bible we see Jesus’ love for people when he talked to them. Today Jesus still speaks to everyone, no matter who they are. He doesn’t push anyone away.
ɥ God respects everyone. Every person’s voice can be heard.
ɥ Jesus invites every person to be close to God.
I am the bread of life
Growing strong with God’s food
Then Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry. And whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
John 6:35
All life comes from God. God created people and gives us all we need to live life to the full. He made the seasons to grow food and feed us. He also created us to love and be loved. When we don’t get enough food we are hungry. If we don’t receive enough love we hunger to be close to someone. So, God made it possible for us to be close to him, to love him and be loved by him. He sent his Son, Jesus, into this broken and hungry world. Through Jesus, God invites us to live close to him.
Freda’s story
I grew up with my two sisters and my mother. My father left when I was still a baby and I hardly ever saw him. He lived across town with his new family. My mother worked so hard to provide for us. She would wake up early to travel into the city for her job. She often only got home after dark. My sisters and I did what we could to help her, and we lived happily together.
I will never forget the moment my life changed. Mom found a lump in her breast. The doctor said it was cancer. Soon mom was sicker than anyone we had ever seen. I was only eight when she died. My two sisters and I went to live with my aunt and uncle, over 500 kilometres away. I often think back to that time.
It was like a bad dream. I felt frozen. I loved my mother so much. But I couldn’t even cry. I couldn’t feel anything. It was as if the sadness was happening to someone else.
We didn’t know my aunt and uncle well. At first, they seemed happy for us to stay with them. But soon things started to change. My aunt grew more and more unkind. She was angry most of the time.
I wonder if she knew what was going on. My uncle began to spend a lot of time with me. He often bought me sweets. He would ask me to sit on his lap. I didn’t like it but I did as I was told. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to make him or my aunt angry.
Then my uncle started to visit me at night. He would get under the duvet, and when he touched me, it hurt. It went on and on.
Most of the time I felt nothing at all. I was empty. I felt as if there was no one who loved me or cared about me. It seemed as if I was all alone.
Let’s talk about it
• How did Freda react when bad things happened to her?
• Why do you think she felt and acted in this way?
• Have you ever felt like Freda? Have you felt frozen, unable to feel anything? Have you felt like you are all alone?
Have you felt as if no one cares what happens to you?
Let us think about Freda’s story. Many things changed in her life in a short time:
Her mother died suddenly
She lost her home
Her uncle hurt her and abused her
— She no longer felt safe
— She couldn’t escape what was happening to her
When bad things happen, and we are hurting, we all react in different ways. Like Freda, some of us don’t allow ourselves to feel anything. We freeze and become numb. We shut down. This is something our bodies do as a natural way of protecting us. It’s how our bodies help us to carry on living when something happens that is too much for us. But sometimes we get stuck in that place. If we think and behave in a certain way for a long time, it becomes a part of who we are. It can become a pattern.
We need to find ways to change how we think and what we do.
This is called changing the pattern of how we think and what we do. This is important so that we can begin to live a full life. Start by trying to take notice. What is happening around you? Doing this can bring you into the moment. It can begin to break the old patterns that have become a part of how you are living now.
Your body, your thoughts and your feelings all work together.
Understanding this can help you to make sense of what is happening inside you.
As you begin to look at your pain, be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. This is important when you are working through difficult things. Remember that you can work as fast or as slow as you need to. Whatever you do must feel right for you.
Let’s think about it
Read John 6:25–40
• In this story, what does Jesus say?
• Why do you think Jesus says this?
• In what ways can you be hungry and thirsty?
• In what ways do you need the bread of life today?
When our bodies don’t get enough food, we become hungry, and we can even starve. In the same way, our hearts become hungry when we don’t get the food of love and care.
We need love to feel happy and content.
When we are abused and treated wrongly, it can make us feel that we have done something wrong. It can make us feel like we aren’t good enough. It can make us feel that we are a bad person and even make us hate ourselves. It can make us feel afraid. So, we cut ourselves off from others and from ourselves. We freeze and become numb. By not feeling anything, we can get through each day. But our hearts go hungry. We don’t let anyone in to help us. Our lives become smaller and smaller. We no longer feel like ourselves. We become just a small part of who we really are. But Jesus offers himself to us as the bread of life. Real bread feeds us, giving our bodies life. In the same way Jesus and the Holy Spirit can feed and give life to our frozen and numb hearts.
Jesus can heal us from our sadness and suffering.
we are healed. The Bible says we can ask for our daily bread.
Each day, we should ask Jesus for food to give strength to our body and heart.
Jesus will meet all our needs. If we pray and open ourselves to him, he meets us with his love and kindness.
Let’s practise it
This grounding skill will help you to bring yourself back to the present moment, to where you are now. This is helpful when you feel cut off from your body. Or when you become lost in your thoughts and fears.
Our journey to healing starts when we become aware and take notice.
Find a quiet place. Sit up straight but comfortably and relaxed. Stop for a moment. Be in the moment. Allow yourself to feel fully alive. This will help you feel rooted.
• Notice five things you see.
• Notice four things you touch.
• Notice three things you hear.
• Notice two things you smell.
• Notice one thing you taste.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I offer myself to you for this deep work of healing. I give thanks for this place and for these people. Thank you that you are here with me. Please work your way of love and healing in me. I give you thanks that I am beautifully made – my mind, my body and my feelings.
I want to live in the moment and not become stuck in the past. Remind me to notice what my senses are telling me. I bring my pain to you so that I can begin to heal.
May Jesus, the bread of life, feed my heart.
May I live the life you meant for me to live on this earth. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Practise the grounding skill you learnt at least once a day.
• Read John 4:43 – 6. Take note of these parts in the reading. Notice what they say about the things we are learning together.
ɥ Jesus shows (through his words and his actions) what God is like. He shows us how God feels about this broken, hungry world.
ɥ Jesus always notices and cares for people that others don’t see. He heals them and brings them back into the community.
ɥ Jesus shows that God the Father values kindness and caring for those in need.
I am the light of the world
The light of life
Jesus spoke to the people again. He said, “Anyone who follows me will never walk in darkness. They will have that light. They will have life.”
John 8:12
Jesus is the light of the world. He shines with the greatness and goodness of God.
Every person is important to him. Jesus comes to us with love and kindness. No place is too shameful or too frightening for him to enter. He lights up even the darkest places. If we follow Jesus, we are invited to carry this light into the world. To shine his love and goodness where there is darkness in the world.
Maria’s story
When I grew up we were nine people living in our small flat. My parents, three brothers, and me, together with an aunt and two cousins shared three tiny rooms. Our life wasn’t easy. We didn’t have much money. I feared Fridays when my father was paid. He would come home late, drunk and ready for a fight. When I heard him on the stairs, my stomach would hurt. My hands would sweat. I could feel my heart beating fast. Sometimes I felt sick as Friday came closer. It would start with my mother and father shouting at each other. They shouted so loudly that the whole building could hear them. Later only my mother would scream as my father hit her. It was so scary. I remember the sound of his fist against her flesh. Once he hit her so hard that she lifted off the ground. She broke a window when she fell and had to go to the hospital.
My brothers and I would hide under the bed. We would cover our ears, trying not to hear. I remember how frightened we were. We were afraid that he would kill her and then us. I once ran out to try and help her. My father slapped me across the face. No one ever came to help us, not even my aunt or cousins in the next room.
It was as if we were alone.
One day my mother quietly packed our things and we left. We took a bus to the other side of town where my grandmother lived. We slowly rebuilt our lives.
We escaped, but I have never forgotten the things I saw. Ten years later, in my mind I can still hear the beatings, the screaming, the glass breaking. When I think of it, my whole body starts to shake and my heart beats faster. I feel sick and it’s hard to breathe. I feel so guilty that I could not help her. I have never had a boyfriend or been close to a man. They frighten me even though I am grown up now.
I feel as if I am still stuck back in that flat. I think about the bad things that happened as a child all the time.
Let’s Talk About It
• What did you notice about how Maria feels and acts in her story?
• Why do you think Maria can’t forget what had happened? Why can’t she carry on with her life?
• Have you ever felt like Maria? Have you felt stuck in the past, worried and afraid?
Maria saw her mother suffer for many years. She can’t get those pictures out of her head. It’s as if she is reliving the pain over and over again.
Her mind remembers what happened to her as a child. Her body remembers too.
They want to protect her, to make sure such experiences don’t happen to her again. So they keep telling her to be extra careful. She watches for danger all the time. She is ready to fight or to run at any moment. She can’t relax like other people. She is older now, she is safe. But she still lives as if she is that child who wasn’t safe. She feels scared, helpless and worried all the time. This happens to many people when they don’t feel safe. But looking out for danger all the time, uses a lot of energy. It makes you tired. And it also makes it hard to think in a clear way.
Sometimes it takes hard work to stop feeling this way after something bad has happened. It’s important to look at how we feel and how we act. But we must do it in a gentle way. Let’s be kind to ourselves. The things that Maria remembers stop her from living a full and happy life.
Her past makes her afraid of the future and steals her happiness.
She needs to understand these feelings. This can be hard. But, how would she feel if she could put these feelings to rest? For her body to know she is no longer in danger?
A good way to come back to now, to be in the present, is to practise some simple grounding skills.
Let’s think about it
Read John 8:2–12
• How do you think the woman felt as the men stood around her ready to stone her?
• What did Jesus do?
• Do you think the woman’s life changed because of what Jesus did? How do you think it changed in that moment? How did it change her future?
• Where do you need Jesus, the light of life, in your life right now?
The woman is caught with a man who isn’t her husband. The people want to punish her by stoning her. Jesus steps in with a calm, clear voice.
Jesus brings quiet in a dangerous, unsafe time and place.
He protects the frightened woman from the men who put her in danger. They have stones in their hands. They are ready to attack her. But Jesus makes sure she is safe. He shows the men that they don’t have the right to say that she is a bad person who must die. Jesus also shows the woman that she mustn’t tell herself that she is a bad person. He sets her free to be sorry for the wrong she has done, and to change.
This is what it means when we say Jesus brings his light into the world. Where it’s dark and scary, he brings peace and hope. He frees us from the heavy load that we carry. The load is what we have done and what has been done to us. He takes our frightened thoughts and makes them new.
Jesus shows us what true love looks like.
We learn how to heal from our wounds and live in his love and light. Places that are dark and full of fear, become light again. By following Jesus’ light, we can even spread light to those around us.
Let’s practise it
Grounding skills can help to make us aware and bring us back to the present moment. We can become stuck thinking about bad things that happened in the past or fears about the future. Here are three exercises to try:
• Sit on a chair, with your feet on the ground and your back resting against the chair. Think of your feet as heavy and solid. Notice where they touch the ground. Notice what your feet feel. Can you feel how gravity holds you to the floor? Let your body feel grounded, rooted and at rest. Use this exercise whenever you need to feel grounded.
• Breathe in for four counts, hold your breath for two counts and breathe out for six counts. This helps your mind and body to feel more at rest and calm. Do this as often as you need to. Breathe slowly and gently, without rushing. (Note: Some people feel afraid or upset when they breathe in deeply. If you feel nervous, you can take smaller, normal size breaths, and then breathe out slowly.)
• If you have too much energy and feel like you want to jump out of your skin. Push against a wall for 20 seconds. This will help rid your body of energy you don’t need. Stop for a rest. Repeat when ready.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I am so thankful that you know all my worried thoughts, my hidden suffering. Today, shine your light of life into all the dark and sad places inside me. May your light free me from bad feelings. Those feelings that tell me that I have done wrong. That I’m not good enough. That I’m not worth anything. I want to see myself in a new way. I want to learn to love and understand myself just as I am. I want to open myself to knowing you, Jesus, the light of the world. Teach me how to follow your path that leads me out of darkness and into the light. May I learn to not be afraid to love myself and others. May I see and understand what is important in life. Make me wise, Jesus, as I move forward. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Practise at least one of the skills every day. Make sure that you try all three skills during the week. Some of you might even want to do all of them every day.
• Read John 7 – 8. Take note of the following things in this week’s reading:
ɥ Jesus shows and tells people the truth as he talks to them. He calls them to turn away from the blindness of their human thinking. He helps them to walk in the light of God’s way of seeing situations and people.
ɥ There is a difference between the religious leaders and Jesus. The religious leaders use the law to judge, scare and control people. Jesus uses the law to love, free and heal people.
ɥ Jesus challenges the way religious leaders criticise and judge people. He views people through the eyes of God’s love.
I am the gate
Finding the safety of boundaries
“I’m like a gate. Anyone who enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out. And they will find plenty of food.”
John 10:9
God loves the world so much that he sent his Son, Jesus, to save us. Jesus died on the cross. He became the gate that leads us into the arms of God.
God’s loving arms are around us and keep us safe. There we can find peace and healing. There we will find eternal life and live for ever. There we can learn not to fear, but to be brave and strong.
Helena’s story
I have always struggled to believe in myself. I feel that I am not important. This makes it hard to stand up for myself, especially at school.
I feel worthless all the time. The other kids seem so sure of themselves. They speak easily to each other. It looks like they know what they want to do with their lives. All I want, is to fit in and be part of the group. Luckily, I find lessons easy to understand. The other kids in the class often ask me to help them with their homework. The problem is, I can never say no. I use all my free time helping them. Sometimes I have to do my own work late at night. On weekends, I do whatever everyone else wants.
If I say no I am scared that people won’t like me.
Home isn’t much better. I am an only child so I am used to feeling lonely. My parents work hard running a shop nearby. After school I let myself into an empty flat. Even when my parents are at home, they don’t really notice me. They are thinking about something else.
Mom and Dad did well at school. Dad wanted to be a doctor. But there was no money for him to study. He is still upset about how his life turned out. Now his dream is that I go to medical school. He works long hours to save money for my studies. I am thankful that he wants me to study. But I don’t think that I want to be a doctor. No one has ever asked me what my dreams are. I’m not sure that I even know myself.
Let’s talk about it
• What do you think Helena’s biggest difficulties are?
• Why do you think she has these difficulties?
• Have you ever felt like Helena? Have you felt unsure of yourself? Do you find it hard to stand up for yourself? Do you find it hard to say no?
Everyone is born with special abilities.
A child needs to learn what they are good at and what they enjoy. They need to be encouraged to grow in all their abilities. Their gifts need to be celebrated. This helps them understand that they matter.
They can feel good about themselves. They learn to know who they are and they develop a healthy self-image. Then they can stand up for themselves when they need to.
When this doesn’t happen, a child can’t see themselves clearly. They feel like they are never good enough. This is why Helena doesn’t feel that she can ask for what she needs. She thinks she is only worth something if she is making others happy.
Helena’s story shows how other people use her for their needs. How would Helena feel if she learnt when to say no to others? If she learnt to protect herself? If she allowed herself to be good to herself? Valuing herself and her God-given gifts, is the first step.
A boundary is a line that shows where one place ends and another place starts. Like the borders of a country.
People can also have boundaries.
It’s like a protective blanket. Inside the area the blanket covers, we decide what is good for us and what isn’t.
Boundaries help us to care for ourselves. It is healthy for others to understand our boundaries. When they knowingly cross our boundaries, they are not valuing us.
Let’s think about it
Read John 10:1–10
• What made Jesus different to those who came before him?
• What does Jesus say will change if you enter through the gate?
• How has Jesus been the gate in your life?
• How do you need Jesus’ help to put boundaries in place? To make sure that people respect your boundaries?
Jesus’ powerful words call us to enter through the gate into a different way of living. Through his death on the cross, Jesus brought us closer to God. We pass through Jesus, the gate, into God’s kingdom. There, we are loved. There, we belong.
We can come to him broken and be made new. We can learn to love ourselves and then to love others.
Remember that a gate keeps some things in and other things out.
Boundaries hold us together and keep us safe.
Coming closer to Jesus gives us the protection of God’s kingdom. We become part of God’s family. Together, we learn from the Bible and share our burdens. We receive and give love. We become strong enough to face the challenges of the world.
Let’s practise it
This imagination exercise helps with boundary setting. The boundary you imagine can help you remember that you can control the way you interact with others. It can remind you that you are valued and deserve respect.
• Find a place where you are comfortable and close your eyes.
• Picture something soft, warm and gentle surrounding you. Whatever it is, it doesn’t touch you but forms a circle around you. It could be a circle of light, or water, or a bubble. Whatever comes to mind, it should be flexible.
• Imagine you are inside this circle. Here you are safe, held and valued. This circle is for you and God.
• The boundary that you have imagined around you gives you time to think. It gives you time to make wise, kind, firm choices. No one can come into this space unless you invite them in.
• The boundary will warn you if someone tries to cross it. You will feel scratchy and even angry. This tells you to check that your boundaries are in the right place and working. Listen carefully to what your body and feelings are telling you.
• Always be firm and kind when you set boundaries.
• Practise saying no. Start by saying no in small ways. If you say yes, make sure that what you are saying yes to is good for you. For example, “I am happy to help you at the shop, but only on Thursdays between 8 am and 1 pm.”
Let’s pray about it
Jesus, thank you for being my gate. Because of you I can go into God’s kingdom and have a full life. Thank you that you call me by name. I want to learn to be still and to listen to your voice in me. Lead me on the path I should follow. I want to make wise, loving, kind and firm choices. Make me honest and clear. May I say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Practise your invisible boundary around you. Practise setting firm, kind boundaries.
• Read John 9 – 10:10.
Think about
ɥ How it talks about being blind and about seeing. How Jesus helps us to see who God is. And what pleases him.
ɥ How the thief wants to use others. But how the gate protects and provides.
I am the good shepherd Bringing love and healing to our shame
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives his life for the sheep.”
John 10:11
Jesus is the good shepherd. He knows every sheep and calls each one by name.
No sheep is a mistake. No sheep is too much trouble for him. If one sheep gets lost, Jesus leaves the other sheep to look for it. Taking it up in his arms, he goes home full of joy. He is happy about finding this lamb that he loves.
Rachel’s story
My name is Rachel and I am 35 years old. I moved in with my aunt ten years ago. We live in a small village. I am still trying to get over what happened to me. For a long time I kept my feelings under control. But now I have outbursts of anger. I am fearful and sad.
I feel dirty. And sometimes my shame feels too much for me to carry. I can see my aunt is worried about me. She tries to make me feel better. But her words can’t change how worthless I feel. I often wonder what other people in the village think of me. Would they talk to me if they knew the truth? If they knew what I am? I will always be unclean.
I feel like this will never change. I feel like I am nothing. When I finished school, I wanted to go to the big city. I saw an advert offering work and training in a restaurant. The manager, Nico, sounded very nice on the phone. He was interested in me. He said he wanted to help me. When I arrived, he showed me around the restaurant. I felt something was wrong. There was no one else there.
But I stayed because I wanted the job. We were in the storeroom underneath the restaurant. Suddenly his face changed. He locked the door. Then he turned and he hit me across the face. I didn’t expect it.
I tried to fight back. But he raped me right there on the floor. Then he forced me to work for him. The restaurant was really a brothel. Men came there for sex. Six years later I was saved when the police raided the place. I had been hit and drugged for six years. During that time Nico sold my body to hundreds, no, thousands of men. It was a living hell.
Many years have passed now, but I am still trapped in that hell. I feel it was my fault. I was stupid and weak. I should have run away. I feel that I am dirty. That I am not worthy of being loved.
Let’s talk about it
• How do Rachel’s experiences make a difference to how she sees herself?
• What are the ways that shame can make someone like Rachel feel and act? How can shame change someone?
• Have you ever felt like Rachel? Have you felt dirty, unlovable and worthless?
Shame is a strong feeling that can change our lives.
Shame can make us feel worthless, dishonoured and unclean. We often believe we are to blame for what happened to us. This is especially true if this wrong was done to us as a child. So, we make sure we don’t get close to people. We push our feelings down. We believe we aren’t worth much. For some, this can also cause depression. This is when we are sad all the time. Sometimes we are so sad that we don’t want to get out of bed in the mornings.
Shame and guilt are very different.
Guilt is when we feel bad about something we did. Shame makes us feel bad about ourselves as a person. This can be because of what others have told us. Or how they treated us. Shame grows stronger when we tell ourselves we are weak or stupid. These thoughts can go round and round in our heads for years. Here are some ways that shame can change us:
• It keeps us apart from others. We hide from them.
• It makes us unhappy. If we tell ourselves we are bad, we start to hate ourselves. It can also make us feel angry, fearful or ashamed.
• It changes how we are with other people. It’s hard to open up to others when we worry they will think badly of us.
Let’s think about it
Read John 10:11–30
• What does Jesus say a good shepherd does?
• How do the sheep react to the good shepherd?
• What difference can the good shepherd make in their life?
Jesus was treated unfairly. He was treated as if he was worth nothing. He was dishonoured by people. And he suffered because of how he was treated. So, Jesus understands our pain.
Jesus understands our shame.
As the good shepherd, Jesus knows everything about each of his sheep. And he loves each one. No matter how ashamed or worthless we feel, we are precious to him. Jesus, the good shepherd, looks for us when we are lost. He gave his life to find us. And he is never wrong.
Jesus knows who we really are. He wants us to know him. When we open our hearts to Jesus, the good shepherd, he gives us love and respect. We can heal. We can be made new.
Let’s practise it
Kindness exercises help us to stop telling ourselves how bad we are. These thoughts can go round and round in our heads. The exercises remind us that we are loved, we are worthy, and we are important.
• Find a comfortable seat and take two or three slow, deep breaths.
• Notice what you are thinking and feeling right now. Listen to your mind and body.
• Notice one bad message you are telling yourself (I’m broken, I always make mistakes, I’m stupid). Try to work with a different ugly message every day.
• Now name one thing you like about yourself. Think of the Good Shepherd who knows you by name, loves and values you. What would he say to you?
• Say the following three to five times quietly to yourself.
ɥ I’m a daughter of God. I’m worthy of love.
ɥ Jesus sees me. Jesus knows me. He will never leave me.
ɥ The good shepherd calls me by name. I’m precious to him.
ɥ Add your own good thoughts as well.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I open my heart to you. You know everything about me. You know my name. You know where I come from. You know my joys, my sorrows and my suffering. I bring all the bad that I have done as well as the bad that has been done to me. I bring my shame, my guilt, my troubles. I bring everything to you. Please, heal me. I thank you, Good Shepherd, that you see me and love me. Hold me close and protect me. Search for me should I get lost. Bring me safely home. Keep my heart and mind safe this week. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Practise the kindness exercise every day.
• Read John 10:11–42
Think about
ɥ Jesus explains how he leads by using the picture of the good shepherd.
ɥ Jesus values his followers. But dishonest leaders use and then leave their followers.
I am the resurrection and the life
Finding new life in grief and loss
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even if they die.”
John 11:25
Jesus came to bring hope. Jesus came to bring us back to life. He feels our sadness. Our pain hurts him. Where there is suffering, Jesus wants to bring joy. He wants to shine the light of hope in the dark places where we hide with our hurt. He wants to hold us close when we feel lost. It does not matter how badly hurt or broken we are. Jesus is a safe place where we can find peace. He makes us strong again to live a life of purpose.
Sophie’s story
There has always been trouble between my country and the neighbouring country.
We don’t trust each other.
People from both countries steal from each other. They attack one another. The leaders talk about peace. But it never happens. Last month everything changed. I woke up to long lines of tanks moving through our town. Soldiers holding large guns were everywhere. I rushed to the TV to watch the news. Our neighbour had attacked us. We were at war. Things quickly became worse. My husband, two brothers and one sister left to fight. I stayed with our children.
I felt helpless and afraid.
Soldiers kept marching into town. There was fighting near our home. I had to take the children and run. We took one suitcase and the dog. We managed to get to family living in the more peaceful southern part of the country.
Each day feels worse than the one before. My younger brother was killed. We don’t know where my sister is. My husband is injured and in a hospital far away. At least I know he is safe for now.
There is so much to worry about.
I feel like my whole life has fallen apart. One minute I am so angry that this has happened. These people have robbed me of my family, my home, my safety. It’s as if something wants to burst out of me. The next moment sadness crushes me. I will never see my beloved brother again. I just can’t believe that. It doesn’t seem real. I feel so bad that I couldn’t stop him from going. I am worried about my sister. What if she has also been killed? And what about the children? How will I keep feeding them? Will I be able to keep them safe? I feel such terror. My chest and throat feel tight. I can hardly breathe. I don’t know what I should do next. It’s all too much. Will I ever find my way again?
Let’s talk about it
• What are some of the things that Sophie has lost?
• How did she react to losing so much?
• Have you ever felt like Sophie – angry, sad and as if you can’t go on?
• What helped you in this time?
There are many reasons for us to feel grief.
It hurts when we lose someone or something important to us. Our lives are covered with a blanket of sadness. We mourn what is lost. This loss is not always something big, like in a war. Sometimes we feel grief about things that are a part of life. Like a child growing up and leaving home. Or getting too old to work. When a part of life comes to an end, we are sad because it’s over. This can happen even when we are excited about the changes taking place.
We all react to grief in different ways. We all feel our loss differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We can feel sad, angry and guilty even if it isn’t our fault. We can feel worried, lonely, tired, helpless, shocked and numb. It can sometimes feel as if our feelings are crushing us. Our bodies also react to the loss. We can feel a tightness in our chest and throat, or even have trouble breathing. We can be jumpy. We can have no energy. We may have trouble eating or sleeping.
At first we can struggle to believe that our loss is real. We try to protect ourselves from the pain.
Keeping the grief inside doesn’t help.
Respecting our feelings and listening to them is important. We are invited to find ways to let our grief show. As we do this, we slowly become used to living with the loss. We can’t hurry grief along.
Let’s think about it
Read John 11:17–44
• How does Jesus react to Mary and Martha’s grief?
• How does Jesus change how Martha understands resurrection and coming back to life?
• Have you experienced Jesus bringing you back to life? If so, how?
• In what ways do you need new life and hope right now?
Jesus isn’t a stranger to grief.
He experienced all that we experience. He wept at the grave of his friend, Lazarus. He felt the pain of loss even though he was about to raise Lazarus from the grave. We can trust Jesus to stand with us in our mourning. He will help us through our time of grief.
In this story, Jesus talks about resurrection – being brought back to life. Martha thinks he is speaking about a new life in heaven. But Jesus is also speaking about the here and now. By bringing Lazarus back to life, Jesus gives us a look at the life that God offers. This is a life that never ends. But we don’t have to wait for this new life. We can experience healing and wholeness again right now. Jesus’ life-giving power offers us hope for a new kind of life.
Martha’s hope was buried in the grave with her brother’s body. She wondered why Jesus didn’t come sooner. Didn’t he love her enough? Jesus knew Martha’s heart. He gave her what she needed most. Standing beside her in her grief, he offered her a new kind of hope.
This hope doesn’t stop terrible things from happening. But it makes new things possible during and after our pain.
The new life that Jesus brings, will not be the same as our old life.
But in our pain, Jesus can give our lives a new and different purpose and meaning.
Let’s practise it
One of the ways to work through our grief, is to express it. We have to find ways to let our feelings out. But this is each person’s own journey. You need to find what is best for you. Take some time this week to try some of these:
• Set aside time to grieve. You need time to cry or show strong feelings without worrying about what people think of you.
• Write down your thoughts and feelings every day. Be very honest. It doesn’t have to look good. This is just for you.
• Stay close to nature. Go for walks. Pick up a stone on each walk. Put all the stones together until you have a pile. Each stone can be for something or someone that you have lost.
• Light a candle for things or people you have lost. When you are feeling sad, hold the candle and remember something special about them.
• Create beauty. Paint, dance, play music, work with wool or beads, bake a cake. Or do something else you enjoy. This helps you work through big feelings.
• Exercise. Using energy can help to express grief in a good way.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I bring my heart that is full of loss and grief to you today. Walk this road with me as I work through and learn to live with my loss. You know that grief can make me feel like the earth is moving under me. I choose to put my trust in you to keep me rooted. May your endless love surround me. Give me your understanding and comfort to move through this time. And please show me the way forward, step by step. Amen
Homework for the coming week
• Practise one of the grief exercises every day. This will help you to find your own way of expressing your grief.
• Read John 11 – 13 to see how
ɥ Jesus’ love for Mary and Martha is tested and proven. He walks with them in their grief. He gently answers their questions and comforts them.
ɥ Jesus shows the true meaning of new life by raising Lazarus from the dead.
ɥ Jesus shows the difference between life and death, darkness and light. He shows what it means to be important in this world and to be important in God’s world.
ɥ He shows us how to serve others. Jesus does this by washing the feet of his followers, the disciples.
I am the way, the truth and the life
Finding our way to a life of plenty
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:6 W e e k S E V
Jesus promises that he will make his home with everyone who loves him.
Jesus will never leave us.
He will never push us away. Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be with us. The Holy Spirit helps us to live our lives the way Jesus wants. When we struggle, he will give us strength to carry on. When we are hurting, the Holy Spirit will bring us peace. He will be with us until we go to the place Jesus is preparing for us in his Father’s house. There we will know joy, rest, beauty and love.
Joanna’s story
I am not very good at being close to people or having friends. They always seem to leave me. Right now, I have to sign divorce papers ending my marriage. I am only 40 years old. It makes me want to cry.
I was so young – engaged and married by 21. I think I rushed into marriage because I felt an emptiness deep in my stomach. I thought my husband could fill it. I thought that if I had a ring on my finger, I would feel loved. I didn’t.
I loved David, but I didn’t feel that I was good enough for him. When something went wrong, I was sure it was my fault.
I expected him to stop loving me. When he got home late or had to change plans, I would panic. Fear overcame me. What was he doing? Who was he meeting? Did he still love me? I couldn’t understand why he was with me. At first David didn’t seem to mind. He liked that I needed him so much. But over the years he started to feel like a prisoner. No matter how much he told me that I was beautiful and that he loved me, it was never enough.
Whenever he did anything on his own I would think he was leaving me. Nothing he said or did could stop me panicking. We had less and less fun together. Our marriage became hard work.
I started to drink.
The alcohol helped dull my pain.
David started spending more time at work. In the end, he couldn’t take it anymore. He packed his bags and left. The day he left, I got really drunk.
When I think back, I know I have had these feelings all my life. I didn’t feel valued as a child.
I didn’t feel I was worth loving.
Mom and Dad had no time for me. They had no soft words for me. They didn’t read books to me at bedtime. I was sure it was my fault. I wasn’t special enough. There was something wrong with me. Why else didn’t they want to be with me? I still feel like that about anyone who gets close to me. I am not good enough to be loved or even liked.
Let’s talk about it
• How do you think Joanna sees herself?
• How does it change how we see ourselves as adults if we were not noticed and cared for as children?
• Have you ever felt like Joanna? Do you sometimes feel unsure of yourself? Do you need to be told you are good enough all the time? Do you struggle to know what you are feeling?
Like Joanna, many of us believe we aren’t lovable. Because of this, things quickly feel too much for us.
We give up easily when life becomes hard. This pattern can start early in life. As children we need to know how important we are to our parents. We need to be noticed and cared for. We need time and love. Otherwise, we can grow into adults who expect to be pushed away by others. We feel like we are never good enough. We are afraid when a partner doesn’t tell us how much they love us all the time. We feel unsafe. We may become depressed.
Many of us don’t understand why we feel like this. We feel there must be something wrong with us. We don’t believe in ourselves.
We worry all the time. Sometimes, we start taking drugs or drinking too much alcohol. We want to soothe ourselves, to stop feeling the pain. What do we do if we feel like Joanna does? What do we do if we didn’t get the love and care we needed as children? We are gentle and take good care of ourselves. We begin to learn to make ourselves feel better by self-soothing. We allow ourselves to treat ourselves as someone who matters.
In God’s eyes we are loved and valued.
Let’s think about it
Read John 14:1–14
• How does Jesus say we can know God the Father?
• How can we know that Jesus speaks the truth?
• Where is God’s house? What is Jesus doing in his Father’s house?
• How do you most need to experience Jesus as the way, the truth and the life?
Jesus’ disciples wanted to know where they were going. Jesus answered that he was the way, the truth and the life . Jesus teaches us that we are invited to know and trust him daily. To walk in faith with him. When we follow him, we will know the way.
Jesus shows us the way to God.
Jesus is also true. There is nothing untrue or uncertain in him. By being the truth Jesus proves that he is one with God, the Father. His actions and words show who God is and how God loves us.
Lastly, Jesus teaches us that our time on earth is one part of our life. We also need to think about our eternal life, living with him forever. We must live our life understanding what is important. Things like listening to and following Jesus have eternal value.
Jesus will lead us into eternal life.
This life is a better and richer life than we know. Jesus will lead us to a life with more meaning than we can ever find on our own.
Let’s practise
it
Try these three self-soothing techniques when you need to calm yourself.
• Put your right hand under your left armpit, next to your heart. Place your left hand on your right upper arm. You are hugging yourself, holding yourself together.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I want to live my life well. I want to have hope for my future. You bring me that hope through Jesus. You know me so well. You know what you want me to do on this earth. Show me the way. Give me the truth I need to see clearly. I want you to lead me in the life you have for me. In you I put my trust. Thank you for all you’ve done to bring me life everlasting. You hold me close; I receive your loving embrace right now and always. Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Practise the self-soothing exercises every day whenever you need to. Try a different exercise each day.
• Read John 14.
Think about
ɥ How Jesus prepares his followers for his leaving.
ɥ Jesus calls his followers to show the world who he is, just as he showed them the Father. They must show Jesus through their actions and words.
ɥ Jesus’ words and actions teach that love is unselfish.
I am the vine
Growing and harvesting
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
John 15:5
We were made to know God and to live close to God. As the vine, Jesus invites us to receive life from God. Jesus opens his heart to everyone.
Jesus says, “Stay in my love.”
He knows our brokenness and hurt. He knows our sinfulness and shame. Still, he offers us his unconditional love. He loves us as we are. His love heals us and makes us whole. Through him, we can feel love, joy and peace. And we can begin to show his love to other people.
Sara’s story
I am so thankful.
I never thought it was possible to be in such a good place in my life. It all seemed so hopeless before. I never thought it could get so much better. I have learnt to know myself. I understand how to handle the dark days when they come. I know what I need to grow stronger and better. Everything changed when I came to know Jesus. I can hear the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit in me. The Spirit shows me the way throughout the day. He guides me.
For the first time in my life, I live with joy and peace.
It wasn’t always like this. My life became dark on the day my baby sister, Ruth, drowned. She fell into the pool. Both my parents were in the house. By the time they noticed, it was too late. My mom felt like her world had ended. She became more and more sad. We were all hurting, but she couldn’t see that. She and dad started arguing a lot. Each seemed to think it was the other one’s fault. In the end they got divorced. Family life was full of the pain of what we had lost. It wasn’t about those of us who were still alive.
A teacher at school noticed my pain. Mrs Peele was always warm and caring. It was as if she knew what I was going through. She got a counsellor to help me. Each week I had a safe space to talk about my family and to finally cry. I learnt about sadness, loss and anger.
Mrs Peele ran a Christian club after school that felt like a second family. She would teach us about God. She taught us how to turn to his son, Jesus. And to trust in the Holy Spirit. She taught us how to pray. We would sing, paint and dance. We could share how we were feeling. She took us for walks in nature. She taught us how to fully live in each moment.
Mrs Peele had so much joy. I could feel the love in the room. She showed us how to look for something we could learn even when life was bad. She told us that we all belong to Jesus.
We are all precious and have a place.
We have gifts to offer the world. This understanding changed my life forever.
Let’s talk about it
• How did the family change after Sara’s sister drowned?
• How did Sara manage to find her way in life again?
• In what ways would you like to feel like Sara?
We grow as people in many ways.
The things that happen to us shape who we become.
Sometimes, even our pain can lead to something good. It can help us to understand more about what we need. It can teach us new ways to look after ourselves.
We learn to understand what happens to us when we are in pain or upset. We notice what our bodies are telling us. For example, a stomach that hurts can tell us that we are feeling worried. We can ask ourselves why we aren’t feeling safe. Then we can do something to change that.
We also discover new ways to handle how we feel when something happens to us. We find ways that work for us. Maybe you like to pray or write down what you are feeling? Or maybe you like to exercise or be close to nature?
We begin to know our strengths. We build on them. We begin to believe in ourselves. We learn to trust. We let our heart and the Holy Spirit lead us as we travel on in life.
And we grow to know God better. We learn about how much he loves and cares for us.
We begin to see ourselves through God’s loving eyes. We understand that we are valuable. We learn to speak to him about our pain. We learn to live being thankful for everything that we have.
Let’s think about it
Read John 15:1–17
• What does Jesus say will happen if you are connected to him like a branch that grows from the vine?
• How do we stay connected to Jesus?
• What kind of fruit would you like to bear?
We want to build our faith and follow our hearts. For that we are invited to grow in our understanding of who Jesus is. And why he is so important in our lives. Jesus told his closest followers that he was the vine and they were the branches. The branches can’t live without the vine. If they break off, they dry up and die. They need to stay connected.
Life flows from connection to Jesus.
The branches are fed and given new life by the vine. Then the branches can also produce fruit.
Jesus told all this to the disciples just before he was arrested and killed. He wanted them to know that he would not leave them. Even though his body would be gone he would keep on feeding them.
He would give them life through the Holy Spirit.
Like the branches, we can’t stay alive by ourselves. We are encouraged to draw strength from the source of our faith, Jesus.
Let’s practise it
Throughout the day, stop what you are doing for one minute. Pause and check in with yourself. This will help you to notice how you are feeling and what you need.
• Stop what you are doing and close your eyes.
• Relax your body one part at a time. Start with your toes, moving up to your head.
• Imagine your heart opening up.
• Listen deeply. What is your heart telling you? What do you need in this moment?
Go on with your day.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, in all things, I give you thanks. You ask me to keep my eyes on you. To stay connected to your heart. As a branch I want to draw food and strength from the vine. Thank you for bringing me a life that is full. Thank you for bringing me beauty from ashes. You are the God of change and growth. You are the God of love and healing. I am so thankful to be on this path with you. Guide me and keep me.
Amen.
Homework for the coming week
• Interrupt your day with the pause exercise.
• Read John 15 – 17
Think about
ɥ How the ideas of seeds, branches and fruit paint a picture of closeness. Think about how we need each other and how we help each other.
ɥ How Jesus calls his followers to show their connection to him by the fruit in their lives. They do this by showing love, joy and peace towards each other.
ɥ How Jesus prays for his followers. He prays that they will faithfully show the world who God is. They do this by their actions and their words.
I am on the journey
Peace be with you
Again Jesus said, “May peace be with you! The Father has sent me. So now I am sending you.” He then breathed on them. He said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”
John 20:21–22
Remembering the nine weeks
There are many different ways in which we experience trauma. Sometimes the hurt is to our bodies. Sometimes it’s to our hearts. And sometimes it’s to our minds. The trauma each person experiences may be different.
Others can see and understand the pain and suffering we have experienced. The journey to healing is long, but we don’t need to do it alone.
Over the nine weeks, we have learnt that there are patterns in how our minds and bodies react to difficulties or traumas. These patterns are there to protect us. But over time they can also hijack us. We begin to shrink into ourselves and become less than we are meant to be.
Some of us freeze and shut down when life gets too much. Others look for danger everywhere. We are ready to fight or run away if needed. Some of us lose our protective boundaries. Some of us feel shame and unworthiness because of what has happened to us. And some of us can’t get past our grief. We find it difficult to work through what we have lost. Many of us lose our sense of who we are in the world.
You have learnt skills to help you manage these reactions.
These skills help you to break the patterns in how you think and what you do. You discovered the importance of staying in the present moment. You learnt to stop, to notice what your body is telling you, and to see what your heart needs.
You also learnt how Jesus sees you and how he feels about your experiences. Here’s a quick reminder
• I AM THE BREAD OF LIFE. Jesus takes part in your healing journey by offering himself as the bread of life. Through him you receive the strength to heal and live life to the full.
• I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD. Jesus breaks through your dark and fearful places and brings his healing light.
• I AM THE GATE. You can experience personal freedom through Jesus who is the gate.
• I AM THE GOOD SHEPHERED. Jesus shows you what it’s like to experience trust, kindness and safety. He looks after you like a shepherd looking after his sheep.
• I AM THE RESURRECTION AND THE LIFE. Jesus shows how he wants to bring you back to life. He brings both comfort and renewed purpose.
• I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE. Jesus invites you to know and trust him every day. Then he will lead you in the way that is best for you.
• I AM THE VINE. Jesus invites you to live in a close and life-
Let’s think about it
Read John 20:11–22
• Why was Mary crying as she stood outside Jesus’ grave?
• How did Jesus prepare Mary and his other followers to go into the world and tell others about him?
• Where in your life do you need more of Jesus’ peace?
Mary Magdalene was a faithful follower of Jesus. She travelled with him as he taught people and she believed in him. Jesus was arrested, tried and hung on a cross. His other followers fled but Mary stayed by his side. She even took notice of where he was buried.
Mary’s early life wasn’t easy. Her name means “one who has endured much pain and suffering”. The Bible tells us that Mary suffered from many sicknesses. She would have been thought unclean. She was pushed aside by her people. She would have experienced shame, fear and guilt.
Her life changed when she met Jesus.
Jesus healed her from her sickness. He gave her a new purpose and hope for the future. He made her part of a community again. Others looked down on Mary Magdalene.
Jesus saw her for who she truly was.
She was precious and loved by God. She was the first person to see the wonder of his rising from the dead. Jesus chose her to tell the other disciples about his return to life. And so, a woman who was thrown away by others, became the first
When Jesus appeared to his followers, he gave them important work to do. He sent them into the world to tell others about him. He wanted them to take over his teaching and his ministry. They were to spread the love of God through what they said and did. And that is still our task today.
We are to love others as God loves us.
Prayer flower and stone bowl exercise
• Gather a number of small stones and different types of flowers. Place them beside a bowl of water.
• Take some time to reflect on what you have learnt over the past eight weeks. How have you grown? What was particularly helpful?
• Symbolise the journey you have been on. Choose a flower to represent each thing you have learnt. Things that have helped you. These are the things you are thankful for. Choose stones to represent what you found challenging. These are the things that you want to leave behind.
• Be thoughtful as you place each flower and stone into the bowl of water. Think about what they represent. You might say something like “I put this flower here to represent the kindness and caring I have learnt to show myself. For my strength even when things weren’t easy. I put these stones here for my suffering as a child. And for how hard I have found it to feel worthy of being loved ever since.”
• If you are able, share your bowl with a close, trusted friend.
Let’s pray about it
Lord, I give thanks for these weeks of learning. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be on this journey to healing.
I thank you that your death brought me new life. I want to live my life to the full with your Holy Spirit guiding me day by day. I am so grateful for the fruit of your Spirit. I pray that you bless me as we continue on my journey. Amen.
Moving forward
• Read John 18 –21
Think about
ɥ The violent abuse Jesus suffered as he was ridiculed, beaten, stripped naked and killed.
ɥ How Jesus was cared for, even in his suffering.
ɥ How Jesus showed love in how he reacted to the angry crowd, to the leaders and to Pilate who threatened him.
ɥ The personal ways in which Jesus gives back life. To a woman who is grieving. To a follower who no longer believes. To a leader who has failed. He comforts them and gives them a new purpose.
I am he
God’s invitation
The woman said, “I know that Messiah is coming.” Messiah means Christ. “When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus said, “The one you’re talking about is the one speaking to you. I am he.”
John 4:25–26
Throughout this programme, we looked at who Jesus said he is. We discussed what that means for our lives today. Perhaps this is the first time you have learnt about Jesus.
Jesus invites all of us to follow and be close to him. He calls us to have a relationship with God. And he meets us wherever we are. We do not have to be perfect to come to him.
When God created the world, the first people, Adam and Eve, were friends with God. But then they stopped listening to God. They tried to do things their way. Because of that, sin entered the world, and everything changed. People became selfish and started hurting each other.
Like Adam and Eve, all of us do things that are wrong and not what God wants. When we break God’s rules, it is called sin. Sin separates us from God. Our relationships with others and ourselves suffer.
But God loves us. He wants us to know him. So, God promised to send a Saviour (the Messiah). This Saviour would bring us back into relationship with God. He would free us from the power and guilt of sin.
In Bible times, people were still waiting for this Saviour to come. Then in John, Jesus tells us that he is that Saviour.
He is the Messiah everyone was hoping for. Jesus came to save us from our sins and heal us from our hurts. He came to show us who God is.
By dying on the cross, Jesus paid for our sins. When we believe in Jesus, we become God’s children.
The Samaritan woman from our story was an outcast. She was living with a man who wasn’t her husband. She wasn’t living the way God wanted. Yet she is one of the first people Jesus told about who he is. He talked to her about spiritual things. He invited her to believe in him. She was important to Jesus. He loved and cared for her. In the same way, Jesus loves and cares for each of us.
Jesus is a true friend. He wants you to be part of God’s family. He wants to heal you. He wants to restore your life.
If you want to invite Jesus into your heart, we invite you to say this prayer:
Lord Jesus, I believe you are the son of God. I believe you came to earth to bring me back to God. I want to know you more.
Be my Saviour. Forgive me for trying to do things my way. I want to turn from my sin.
I believe you died on the cross for my sins. Please come live in me. By your spirit take control of my life.
was first developed by the Biblica team in India. A Biblica leader in South Asia heard the stories of women whose bodies, minds and hearts were hurt or broken by abuse. He saw their suffering and pain. He wanted them to experience the love and hope of Christ. From this was born. The first version, was developed for the South Asian context. In Hindi, Asha is a girl’s name meaning hope. This book is a vision from God. It is a way to help people come together. To bring hope to those who are hurt or shut out.
