[LCENWRD] DVAP Output

MA RRI ED M.U.s

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Mutual Understanding: the Couple's Backgrounds

What attracted you to this state of life?

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The Importance of Please, Thank You, and Sorry

The Stages of Marriage

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Strength Amidst Crises

The Role of Experienced Couples

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contents

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Marriage As A Way to Care and Justice

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A Daughter's Reflection

An Advice to the Younger Couple

Wife's Background Name

Margareth D. Go

Occupation

Sales Manager

Educational Attainment

AB Computer Application

Mut u

ed i r r a M for 20 ith w s r a e y ! d l i h 1c

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d n U l a

Husband's Background Name

Bryan S. Go

Occupation

Financial Advisor

Educational Attainment

BS Computer Science

derst a ing nd 04

What attracted you to this state of life? How did you meet and what qualities of the other attracted you to them?

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"Syempre ‘pag mahal mo ‘yong isang tao, you want to stay together forever so you want to get married, ‘di ba?

You want something stable kasi mahirap if you wanna get old with somebody, mahirap if ‘yong kasama mo is magulo ang buhay so dapat pinipili talaga ‘yong magiging husband mo kasi kung hindi, magiging magulo rin ang buhay mo."

"We met sa Masters sa Ateneo. Nag-take kami ng Masters. Ka-seatmate ko siya. Ka-cheatmate ko! As in katabing katabi ko, swear, as in. Nasa right side ko siya. Hindi ako attracted sa kanya dati. Nagpacute lang siya sakin. Compatible lang kami kasi parang friends naman kami nag-start. Type niya ako noong umpisa pero ako hindi ko siya type. Ganda ko kasi!"

"Pareho kasi kami ng wavelength. Matalino kasi siya. Hindi kasi ako na-aattract sa bobo. Kung wala tayo pag-uusapan other than what you watch and walang depth ‘yong conversation, hindi ako naattract sa lalaking ganoon. Noong kausap ko na siya, hindi siya ganoon. May depth, so na-attract ako sa kanya, kasi mayroon siyang brains."

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Pope Francis says the three essential words in a family are: "Please," "thank you," and "sorry." Do you agree? How have these words been important in your family?

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"Yeah. Parang everyday naman natin siya sinasabi sa bahay. Kami, lagi naming sinasabi ‘yong “thank you”, “please”, “I love you”. Lagi ako nagiinitiate kasi ‘yong mga ganoong words ay important sa family para you would know you’re loved, you’re appreciated, kaya ka nag-thathank you to the person kahit alam mong family siya, alam mong obligation nila to do it, pero kaya ka nag-thathank you is para ipakita mo na naaappreciate mo ‘yong effort nila dahil naalala ka nila. “Please” kasi nakikiusap ka ng tulong kahit alam mong tutulungan ka ng other person kasi family member mo siya, pero you still ask. Kasi iba ‘yong may please kasi nakikiusap ka. Huwag ka kasi magaassume na tutulungan ka. You say please. Minsan maririnig mo sasabihin ko kay Bry, “Please, help”. Parang everyday naman naming ginagamit sa house."

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"Dapat kasi common siya. Hindi siya uncommon na nag-thathank you ka, nag-pleplease ka, nag-I I love you ka.

For a family, dapat lagi mo siyang ginagamit sa loob ng house para everybody’s reminded na mahal mo siya, na you need her, na naappreciate mo siya."

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Pope Francis speaks of marriage as "a life-long project" (AL** 218) that moves through various stages (AL 220). What stages has your marriage gone through?

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aanan naming d g a in P . a k e v deeply in lo pinanganak "Siyempre ‘yongly married kami, noong bagoa, siyempre iyon noong new. Noong pinanganak siy aman kami anak naming na kami kasi hindi nempre ‘pag fore eh. Siy n na kayo ng nagkakaasaran e b y a h a b magkasama sakayo sa bahay, nagkakakitaaakikita ‘yong, magkasama na eaknesses. Doon mo lang mla siya,” “Ay! each other’s w la siya,” “Ay! Nakakainis pa iyang ganito, “Ay! Ganto paala siya.” Ayaw ko ng ugali nhanggang sa Nakakabatok p ng mga pangit na side niya tell the other nakikita mo ‘yo time naman na siyempre you mga nakikita dumating ‘yongw mo ‘yong ganito niya. May rate ‘yon so person na aya niyang kaya mo pala i-tolea untolerable ka ring ugali o na lang din, pero ‘yong mg o ‘pag ganito tinatanggap m mo sa partner mo na “Ayaw k sa’yo, sinasabi ka.”"

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"Wala kasi kami masyadong pinagdaanan.

Stable lang. Mag-aaway lang kami pero away lang, hanggang doon lang. Kasi at the end of the day, we know to each other na hindi kami maghihiwalay.

As in, hindi talaga. Forever kaming stuck to each other. We will spend our time together until we are old and grey, until we die."

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Pope Francis says every family faces crises (AL 232), which can either weaken the couple's relationship or strengthen it. How have you dealt with crises in your family?

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"Financial crises. Wala kaming pera dati. Siyempre kung pareho kaming walang pera, mahirap.

Pero nagtrabaho nang nagtrabaho lang kami. Tapos outside work, lagi lang kaming magkasama. So that’s why hindi na-weaken ‘yong family system namin. Kasi ‘pag wala kami sa work, lagi naman kami magkasama ng family. Nag-oout of town kami or lumalabas kami, nag-mamall kami, or nasa bahay lang kami, manonood lang kami ng movie. Kaya hindi nagweweaken kasi busy man kami sa work (kasi nga ‘yon naging problema namin, financial crises) pero pagbalik ng bahay, lagi kaming magkasama as a family."

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Pope Francis speaks of the role of "experienced couples" in helping younger couples (AL 223). How were you helped by experienced couples in the early years of your marriage? How have you helped other couples?

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"Instilled kami by both our parents na, “No matter what, you have to make your relationship work.” Lahat ng magasawa, hindi dapat option ‘yong paghiwalay, kung hindi ayusin lang. So kung may nakatulong na older courples sa amin, parents naming ‘yon kasi in-instill sa amin ‘yong values na ganoon. Hindi porket nag-aaway kayo, maghihiwalay kayo. Aayusin niyo lang dalawa."

"Siyempre matanda na kami. May mag-seseek ng counsel from us na younger couple. We tell them the same thing din. “Pwede kayo mag-away pero huwag kayo maghihiwalay kasi kaya namang ayusin lalo na if you love each other.” Pinapasa lang namin sa younger couple ‘yong natutunan namin from older couples kasi nag-wowork for us. So ‘yon lang din sinasabi naming. “Make it work. Pag-usapan niyo. Hindi kailangang maghiwalay.”"

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How does your marriage help you care for other people/for creation and/or promote justice in our society?

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"Hindi naman madamot si Bryan.

Pareho naman kaming hindi madamot so to care for others, madali lang kasi pareho naman kaming okay lang maglabas ng pera kung mayroon naman. ' "Dahil alam ko namang mahal ako ni Bry, hindi ko na inaalala ‘yong family life natin. Nakakagawa ako ng other activities outside family like helping out others.

Madali lang magtabi ng time for that.

Nakakapag-help ako ng other people, ng friends ko, minsan kahit ‘yong complete strangers, like kunwari nag-dodonate kami kung saan saan."

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What would you advise young people who are thinking of pursuing this state of life?

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“Siguraduhin mong mahal na mahal mo and it’s not all about love pa rin kahit sabihin mong mahal na mahal mo kasi there has to be friendship doon sa relationship. Dapat jive kayo eh.

Dapat naiintindihan mo siya. Maganda kung jive kayong dalawa. Hindi naman magkabatch, pero jive kayong dalawa.

Kung hindi kayo friends ng partner mo, hindi ko alam paano niyo i-wowork out ‘yong relationship niyo. Kapag married na kayo, kayo lagi magkasama at magkausap. So kung hindi mo best friend ‘yong partner mo, parang mahirap ata iyon. Hindi naman kailangan sa start ng relationship mag-best friends na kayo pero ‘pag mag-asawa na kayo, you have to be each other’s best friends. Siya ‘yong iiyakan mo ‘pag disappointed ka. You have to build that relationship. ‘Yong pera kinikita ‘yan. ‘Wag niyo pag-awayan. At ‘wag kayo maghihiwalay kasi everything can be fixed kung pag-uusapan. Tsaka ‘wag mambabae o manlalaki.”

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aughter's eflection

od’s reign?

G te o m ro p le p u o How does the c r response.

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MUTUAL NDERS ANDING