Be Seated Magazine - Winter Issue

December 2023

Issue #2

BE SEATED LAUREN HILL IN FULL BLOOM FLORAL DESIGN STUDIO

bloom where you are planted how to incorporate mocktails during the holiday season

seven

places to visit with friends and family

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BE SEATED Our mission is simple yet profound: to offer a moment of reprieve, to help you BE SEATED and allow us to fill your precious moments with inspiring stories about each other, diverse cultures, must-visit places, wellness, and unadulterated joy on even the most chaotic days.

MISSON VISION

ABOUT | 03

&

Seated with Strangers

Seated with Strangers was created with you in

mind. We gather strangers around dinner, our podcast and magazine “BE SEATED”. We want you to feel seen and heard as we talk about reimagining community.

We provide space for people through our dinners.

We connect locally by encouraging investment in our community.

We provide tools for healthy communication with our conversation cards.

We demonstrate what it means to love your neighbor as yourself.

We highlight our strangers through be seated.

We have fun!

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Table of Contents

TABLE OF CONTENTS In Full Bloom with Lauren Hill

6

Five Flavor Pound Cake

10

Motherhood with Lenore

12

Winter Skin Care

14

Home, Heart & Design

16

Holiday Mocktails

18 Solo International Travel

20

Seated with Strangers

24

It’s Time to Tell Your Story

26

Grief and the Holiday

29

Fashion Must Haves

31

New Year New You

35

Seven Places to Travel

39

WITH LOVE FROM THE EDITOR| 05

The end of the year can be

EDITOR'S NOTE

filled

with

a

range

of

emotions that we were or weren’t expecting. I know in previous years I found myself with all this builtup

pressure

to

course

correct and have these big audacious goals. Only to crumble under the weight I placed on myself. It’s my hope as you go through these pages that you see your story intertwined in the words that are shared by the women in this issue.

Find

the

hope

in

the

stories and begin to bloom where you are planted.

Shivawn Mitchell

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FEATURED

MEET LAUREN I

really feel that flowers have helped me learn how to

appreciate life in a sounder way. Flowers are a beautiful gift from God that we must be in the moment to enjoy. We have to use our senses -seeing, smelling, and touching - to fully appreciate them at their peak, so we must be present, awake, alive, and enjoying the moment. The luxury of fresh Flowers is fleeting and only with us for a finite period, but we can also embrace their transition of beauty as they dry for preservation.

.

Give us a snapshot of what Full Bloom by Lauren is and what is something people would be surprised to know about your journey?

Full Bloom by Lauren is a floral design studio that sews beauty into the moment. We literally help make spaces beautiful and bring them to life. Whether it’s a dinner party, a wedding, or a bathroom, we sprinkle flowers wherever we can so that people feel safe and welcomed.

Something surprising about my journey is that I thought that I would have had a very successful career in marketing and advertising and become a VP one day. I always saw that for myself. Along the way I started my business in 2018 as a side venture, but I was laid off during the beginning of the pandemic, and that was the blessing in disguise that allowed FBBL to really take off. I had the time to pour into my business and nourish the baby.

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LAUREN HILL W

hen I create, I draw inspiration from so many

How do you pour into yourself when you feel

places. I am always inspired by the flowers that I am

depleted or not inspired?

working with - their shapes and colors - which is

Oh, what a great question! To be honest, I feel

then interpreted into the arrangement that I may

depleted kind of frequently, but I get this rush of

design. I may be inspired by some of the shapes of

excitement when I see flowers, and I naturally feel

the trees that are growing on the side of the road,

inspired and curious and ready to create. When I’m

the weather, the recipient, any, and everything that

feeling a lack of excitement or energy there is also

inspires me to make something special with hopes

something about the need [of my recipients] that

that it is enjoyed. I’m also inspired by watching what

exists that inspires me because I know that someone

other people create and the freedom that they

is depending on me and this creation. That drives

display in their creations. Of course, I’m always

me and I get sucked into making something

careful not to imitate their art.

beautiful! It’s something that I don’t take for granted.

When did you know it was time to take a leap with your business?

Why was it important for you to create the floral design and tablescape workshop?

I didn’t give it that much thought. I’m really a person that’s big on feelings and things being organic. I

The workshop was so special to make happen, and it

never even told anyone about the dream of FBBL, so

was such a team effort. It was a passion of mine that

everyone was so surprised when I put myself out

I wanted to share with others because I know that

there and just started posting flowers on Instagram.

there are other people that also enjoy entertaining

I was very unhappy with my job and one Friday I

and gathering and the workshop gave us a safe space

had nothing to do, and I challenged myself to go buy

to get inspired. When people come to the workshops

some flowers and post them. It was just that simple.

they can expect to connect with other like-minded

That seemingly effortless arrangement was the

people, touch and feel beautiful flowers that you

beginning of it all. I had no idea what I was getting

don’t regularly see, and to learn how to create

myself into. My dream was only to share the feeling

something, whether it’s a feeling, experience, or a

of having fresh flowers in your home. I’m grateful

floral arrangement. I have had people tell me that

that my vision was very naive.

they make friends at the workshops. It’s just a whole vibe for everyone. It’s a fun evening of self-care and escape.

FEATURE LAUREN | 08

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IN FULL BLOOM I

love making arrangements for my friends! I

rarely come to places empty handed. It’s so nice to give the people I love something fresh and it’s always a nice moment of surprise & delight. My go to flowers are literally whatever I have on hand! I try to give things that will last and that are in season. Ranunculus are always around and usually going to be a part of what I put together for a friend.

Who are some people you would like to hand out virtual flowers to?

My parents deserve their flowers for always supporting me and my dreams. They have always been there for me and have shaped who I am.

They allowed me to be creative as a child which ultimately gave me all of the tools that I needed for Full Bloom.

My friends with lots of degrees that offer a helping hand. I have a hard time asking for help, but they know there are times when I just need it and they never hesitate to give their support. It sounds like such a minor thing, but I really value them seeing Connect with Lauren

me and being so selfless and supportive.

Full Bloom by Lauren

My brother for being my creative director, my

Be Social with Lauren

biggest critic and cheerleader! He will always tell

Credit of Images

me when something isn’t right or when I’m doing

Eric Saulsbury, Cait Carr Photography, FBBL for Accent Decor and Morgan Stoddard Photography Cover Photography The Tinsley Co.

a good job. He is my sounding board.

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FIVE FLAVOR POUND CAKE I

fell in love with cooking as a kid. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with my grandmother and greatgrandmother because of some health issues.

I was unable to play outside so cooking became my hobby. I remember being at the Boys and Girls Club in the cooking club called Busy Bee’s where we learned the fundamentals of cooking and the proper measuring utensils to use. I would then go home and share that information with my parents and grandparents.

Cooking and baking became my safe haven. I am sharing a recipe for a 5-flavor pound cake. It is the very first recipe that I learned to memorize as a child. This cake is so good, it always reminds me of home and family. I hope it does the same for you.

Prep Time: 30 min Cook Time: 1 hour and 30 minutes

Ingredients 1 cup butter, softened 1/2 cup shortening, extra needed to grease the cake pan 3 cups white sugar 5 eggs, beaten 3 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon baking powder 1 cup whole milk 1 teaspoon coconut extract 1 teaspoon lemon extract 1 teaspoon rum flavored extract 1 teaspoon butter-flavored extract 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Glaze (optional) 1/2 cup white sugar 1/4 cup water 1/2 teaspoon coconut extract 1/2 teaspoon rum flavored extract 1/2 teaspoon butter-flavored extract 1/2 teaspoon lemon extract 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract To make the Five Flavor Glaze: In a saucepan, combine 1/2 cup sugar, water, and 1/2 teaspoon of each coconut, lemon, rum, butter, and vanilla extract. Bring to a boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved.

Kimberlee Murray fell in love with cooking as a kid. She spent a lot of time in the kitchen with her grandmother and greatgrandmother because of some health issues. She was unable to play outside so cooking became a hobby.

Cooking and baking became her safe haven. This recipe is the very first recipe that she learned to memorize as a child.

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Directions Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).

Grease a 10-inch tube or Bundt pan with shortening.

In a small bowl, combine flour and baking powder. Set aside.

In a large mixing bowl, cream butter, shortening, and 3 cups sugar until light and fluffy.

Add eggs and beat until smooth.

Beat in flour mixture alternately with milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture.

Then add in each of the extracts. Spoon mixture into prepared pan.

Bake for 1 1/2 hours, or until cake tests are done.

Cool in pan on a wire rack or towel for 15-25 minutes.

Turn the cake out of the pan onto a wire rack or cake plate.

Place waxed paper under the rack to catch glaze drippings. Slowly spoon Five Flavor Glaze onto the top of the hot cake. Cool completely.

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motherhood I feel like every day there’s something new to discover about my baby, my body or myself that I didn’t know before. Whenever I’m about get comfortable and think ‘I got this’ something comes along to shake the foundation that I’m standing on. I’m a completely new person. I think of myself as a 1-year-old mother and I’m giving myself the permission and the space it takes to get to know this new version of myself. And get messy along the way.

I use a lot of my mommy-friends’ brains to figure out things and try not to reinvent the wheel too much. There are too many options, too many things to decide and as I’ve recently gone back to work post-strike, I have to structure my time differently and can’t spend it going down the rabbit hole of which snack will provide the most fiber today.

Have your desires as a storyteller changed?

Absolutely.

Right now, I’m in the space of happy endings and fairytales. Give me rainbows and flowers and tell me everything is going to be alright. Black women are only allowed their happily ever after and little brown boys maintain their innocence and joy in everything I tend to create.

With all the uncertainty in my life and the world right now, I have to be source of joy. And that bleeds onto the page.

How can friends and family practically support the new parents?

One of the greatest ways that family and friends can support new parent is by helping them think through their postpartum ‘village’. Who’s doing the cooking? Who’s taking care of the mom? Who’s cleaning? Can someone pitch in watering plants, taking care of the pets, etc? Is there a night shift you wanna volunteer for? If all else, fails, feed them, tell them they’re doing a great job and love them. (or pay for someone to do one or all of these things like a doula and/or night nurse as a gift) But whatever you do, please be gentle with them.

Support is an action verb. And that includes helping them remember who there are and what they liked/loved before the baby came and completely shifted their entire life.

Getting back to me has been a process I could not do alone.

My friends have dressed me, planned the events and talked me off of the proverbial ledge more times than I can count.

They organized amongst themselves when and how they were coming to visit us postpartum, so I didn’t have to figure it out.

I’m also so grateful that I have people that I can call on and trust to watch my baby when I’m chasing my dreams in Canada shooting a film, visiting LA or taking a mommy break and sneaking off to Vegas to see Usher (totally and completely worth it – highly recommend! Knowing that my son is in their capable hands is a gift that keeps on giving.

FAMILY | 13

What’s something you wish someone told you about motherhood that you want to share with women who are about to become new Moms?

I wanted to write something flippant like hemorrhoids and how terrible they are and about how nobody warned me about them or the fact that they don’t ever go away.

But we have bigger fish to fry.

One thing I would share with moms who are about to cross into this uncharted territory is to ready yourself for the impact that this adorable tiny human will undoubtedly place on your marriage/relationship with your partner. It is simply something we weren’t prepared for. And it’s taken me by surprise. These first few months were an excruciating season of re-learning each other, adjusting to our new pace and extending grace when we didn’t feel like it. It’s having the hard conversations on a lack of sleep and redefining what romance and intimacy looks like with this new dynamic. The intentionality and work that must be put into our marriage is on another level now that we have a new addition to our family. And therapy has become a non-negotiable in our household. Not only have I changed who I am practically overnight (more like 10 months and 3 days of labor, but who’s counting?) but what I want and the capacity to get it all done has shifted significantly as well. I’m simply not who I was a year ago which means I’m not who I was when we said ‘I do’. And that’s a scary place to be when you’re also physically different than who you used to be. And that has to be reconciled, acknowledged, and if you do it right – championed. Because it’s happening on the opposite side for your partner as well.

But I maintain that hemorrhoids do, in fact, suck.

LENORE COER ADEDIRAN I have the most amazing friends in the entire world, and they have rallied around us during this season in ways that bring me to tears when I stop to think about it. As a person that’s moved from coast to coast and had to start over a lot, I’m acutely aware about the importance of being intentional with friendships and making it a priority in my life for over a decade. My friends have also been lock-step with me during our battle with infertility for so long that when our miracle baby finally arrived, he was the manifestation of their answered prayer as well. That’s just a bond that we couldn’t have manufactured no matter how much planning or intentionality we put into the relationship. But to be very clear, we are extremely intentional about planning trips and vacations to visit and spend time with our friends and family and have been for a while.

The challenge for us has been finding a community of color nearby and making new friends to extend our village. The level of time and commitment that takes, while adjusting to our new normal has been a necessary stretch that I hadn’t anticipated. Making friends as an adult has always been a challenge, but now I have to do that with a newborn?!?

Photo Credit Joshua Dwain

MEET LENORE She has honed her writing skills with a B.A. in Spanish Literature and completed a screenwriting certificate where she won the Rena Down Memorial Award for Screenwriting Excellence. With over 30+ scripts currently written, polished, ready for submission.

Catch her Christmas Movie, “A Christmas Serenade. Watch it on OWN.

SKIN CARE | 14

Meet

Mavology It was important for me to start Mavology because I want to tell the story of how selfcare saved my life.

I was at the lowest point in my life during the covid pandemic and living alone in a non-native city. The moment I realized all I have is myself, I began pouring into my skincare routine as a way to cope and pass the time during lockdown. Over time I began to reemerge and build confidence which positively permeated into other areas in my life. I used skincare as a vehicle to heal myself naturally from the outside in. Thus, our tag line, skincare “made with intention”. I always share Mavology is a lifestyle and skincare brand.

People would be surprised to learn I have suffered from imposter syndrome throughout my entrepreneurial journey.

My desire and drive to achieve my goals pushes me forward however, I often feel as if I’m not enough or I should be further along.

Being a classically trained chef and hospitality professional has helped me establish my business by allowing me to utilize my experience and transferable skills. Understanding the composition of ingredients has guided me through the development and formulation process. As a former Events Manager at Harvard University, the standard of excellence, astatic appeal, and customer service is always my top priority. I pride myself in creating a memorable experience for each of my guests in person and online. All these traits were learned hand honed over the course of my career.

For someone who is considering leaving their 9 to 5 in order to establish a business, what would you tell them?

I wish someone would have told me the emotional implications of working as a full-time Entrepreneur. There is no reoccurring payroll check and you literally have to “eat what you kill”. No one can really prepare you for what that feels like.

As a society, we are not taught delayed gratification or extreme discipline. We are taught to be impulsive and live by YOLO culture. This philosophy is so far from the reality of business.

It takes strategic planning, a viable product, and time to build a lasting profitable business.

In hindsight, I wasn’t fully ready to leave my job.

However, I made it work, painfully. I wish I did more research and planned better.

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THE BUSINESS OF

WINTER SKIN Product Photographs by Chevelle Taylor

What is your go to in your line and why do we need it?

Hands down my hero product is our Signature Whipped Shea Butter in the scent “Ehance”. It is a rich and fluffily shimmer whipped butter that melts upon contact with the body.

Decadent ingredients such as organic shea and almond oil nourish the skin leaving it buttery soft with a hint of gold shimmer!

What would you tell someone who felt like they were a late bloomer?

Being a late bloomer is a false narrative. Every day at any age we have the opportunity to chase a dream, try something new, or explore deeper sides to ourselves. Society keeps us in fear. Creating the narrative that life accomplishments are marked by time. There is no right or wrong way to life “your” life.

. What are you looking forward to in your business in the upcoming year?

I’m looking forward to continuing to grow and expand my presence in Houston, TX. I moved to Houston one year ago from Boston, MA. I will dominate the local skincare a wellness space. I want to see Mavology in lights!! I also desire to do speaking engagements. I want to share my story with people and encourage them to seek the best version of themselves.

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NOMADIC

|

24

HOME & DESIGN| 16

You are known for the anti-hustle lifetell us about what this means?

The anti-hustle life is a way of living that focuses on rest and ease above all things.

It is a belief system that trusts God to do the heavy lifting and to execute and implement on my behalf. It is how I run

By Design with Sethlina

my business and take care of my home.

In business, I don’t make any decisions that would cause me to hustle endlessly (Understanding that some seasons are busy, and you just have to grind it out). If I find I am exhausted for weeks or months, then I rethink the process and discern if God is in it or if it's a personal desire that needs amending.

At home, I choose peaceful decor. I don’t hoard and tend to get rid of things that no longer serve me. I want to walk into my home, feel at ease and rest, and my family to feel the same.

How did you get started as an interior designer and did you take any courses for this skill you already had?

I’ve been creative for as long as I can remember. I stumbled upon being good at interiors and realized it brought me joy, so I pursued it. I have taken no course or training it is all God and the intuition He has given me to know what goes together. I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve and use my gifts this way.

home, heart + design

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What would you tell someone trying to find a design for their home or office, and they don’t know where to start?

People say they don’t know where to start, but it always comes to the surface when you ask the right questions. What is the primary function of the space? What are three major things you can’t live without (not including TV)? What design style are you drawn to? (and it's ok to be a mix of several). How do you want to feel?

Once

those

questions

are

answered,

everything else falls into place. Often, it's exactly what your intuition told you. People spend a lot of time doing what other influencers or HGTV say is in, but I think if we followed what we know to be true about ourselves, we would have a design that is much more diverse and true to the individual!

For someone who feels like they are a late bloomer, what is something you would tell them to encourage them?

I would tell them that God always connects the dots ahead of time. I might assume being a designer fell into my lap, but it all makes sense when I study the doors and opportunities that have opened. I used to rearrange my bedroom as a child, and in college, I spent hours watching design shows. I’ve been branding businesses, building websites, and

Where do you gain inspiration for designing homes?

decorating for parties and weddings for years.

Everywhere! The store display windows,

Although to the human eye, they don’t connect; God

nature, and my kid's drawings. I see design in

was honing my taste and aesthetic over time. So, to

so many things, but all roads to lead to will this

those close to me, none of this is a surprise. I would

provide a sanctuary for those who will be

encourage them to return to see where God has

enjoying the space. Much like my home, I want

brought them. They may be surprised to see all the

people to come home and smile. I want them to

connections and his impeccable timing.

enjoy being there, and so my inspiration

Love Sethie is more than just design, it's a way of life that encourages faith, simplicity and ease.

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(wherever it may come from) must solve that issue first.

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MIXOLOGY WITH MOCKTAILS WHY MOCKTAILS

NAOMI

Naomi is a 23-year-old nursing student and a content creator with a passion

I love the challenge of mixing

for mocktails and sober lifestyle. She

different

ingredients

craft

also works with recovering addicts at

delicious

and

refreshing

a sober living outpatient clinic. Her

mocktails that can be enjoyed by

journey into the world of mocktails

everyone, regardless of whether

began as she was looking for exciting

they consume alcohol or not.

non-alcoholic options to enjoy with

Mocktail making has become a

friends. Being sober, she felt there was

creative outlet for me, allowing

a gap in the market for flavorful,

me

visually appealing, and inclusive

to

explore

to

various

combinations of fruits, herbs,

drinks. This inspired her to

and other ingredients to craft

experiment in her own kitchen,

delightful and visually appealing

combining various ingredients to

drinks. It's not just about the

create unique mocktails.

taste;

it's

also

about

the

experience and the joy of sharing

BEING MINDFUL

these delightful concoctions with friends and family.

I, like most people, feel the pressure and tension especially in occasions where the only drinks being offered are alcoholic. I feel it is less awkward when a host offers a variety of appealing non-alcoholic options, such as mocktails, sparkling water, or fresh juices. It is also Important to avoid drawing attention to their choice not to drink and treat it as completely normal. Being mindful of their preferences and ensuring they have a tasty alternative helps people feel included and comfortable. It's about respecting their choices and making sure they have a good time like everyone else.

MOCKTAILS | 19

Here are three delightful recipes that I think your guests would love: Spiced Apple Crisp: Instructions: In a saucepan, heat apple cider, cinnamon, nutmeg, and maple syrup until warm. Pour into glasses over ice cubes.

Garnish with apple slices and cinnamon sticks.

Gingerbread Joy: Instructions: In a shaker, combine ginger beer, molasses, ground ginger, and lime juice. Shake well and strain into glasses with ice cubes. Top with a dollop of whipped cream and sprinkle gingerbread cookie crumbs on top.

Winter Berry Fizz: Instructions: Blend the mixed berries, honey/agave syrup, and lemon juice until smooth. Strain the mixture into glasses filled with ice cubes. Top off with club soda and garnish with mint leaves and cranberries.

I'm incredibly excited about the journey ahead! I want to continue creating engaging and inspiring content that resonates with people, especially those who, like me, appreciate the art of mocktailmaking and the joys of a sober lifestyle. I plan to explore new recipes, collaborate with like-minded individuals, and create a supportive community around the idea that you can have a great time without alcohol. I'm eager to use my platform to raise awareness about responsible drinking and promote inclusivity. My goal is to make a positive impact, one mocktail at a time, and encourage others to embrace the sober enthusiast lifestyle.

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SACDIA’S GUIDE TO

TRAVELING SOLO: INTERNATIONAL Tell us about where you stayed in Iceland and how did you determine what you wanted to do while there and how long did you stay?

I stayed at the Alda; a boutique hotel centrally located in Downtown Reykjavik. I chose this hotel for its convenient proximity to bus stops, restaurants, shops, and for its features. In addition to the beautiful décor and spacious rooms, the Alda had a bar/restaurant, a gym, and an outdoor hot tub which was great for unwinding after a long day of hiking or exploring the city. Since I only had two days to make this trip count, I decided I wanted a full excursion day out at the Golden Circle and one day to see what Reykjavik has to offer.

TRAVEL | 21

How did you plan for your solo trip to Iceland and how did you determine you wanted to travel to that area?

In 2022, I had a New Year’s Resolution to go on my first solo trip. I was beyond nervous at the thought, since I was known to be the overly cautious and sometimes paranoid person in most of my circles, but this was a personal challenge I wanted to overcome, especially in my selfdiscovery journey. The last quarter of the year was approaching, so I had to make a choice. Once I had done the research on how safe Iceland is for solo women travel, on top of my existing desire to visit the gorgeous country to see the northern lights and Blue Lagoon, I was sold.

What tips would you give someone looking to go international solo for a trip?

The number one piece of advice I could give for international solo travel is to do your research!

Look into the cultural norms of the country, what the people there find offensive, what their laws are that may be different from your home country, etc. Another important thing to consider is any potential language barriers and your comfort levels being alone in a country where your communication methods may be limited if you only speak your native tongue.

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Did you meet any people while there and how did you know who was safe to connect with?

Within an hour of my trip, I met an amazing, friendly group of women at the Blue Lagoon who just happen to also be visiting from my home state! What are the odds? One thing about meeting anyone on vacation, whether on a solo trip or not, is assessing a situation and listening to your own intuition. In meeting these different people, I felt a sense of safety in our interactions and how we related to one another in our experiences as black women traveling the world.

Don’t get me wrong, aside from a select few I kept to myself and told others I was “with a cousin who was staying in the hotel room feeling sick” to keep myself safe, but it was nice to talk openly with some folks. Funny enough, I ran into a fellow traveler from my food tour in the airport on the way home and we went shopping through DutyFree together!

Where are some of the places you love traveling wihle here?

I started my trip at the Blue Lagoon and that was the most serene, relaxing experience after a red-eye flight. I loved the natural hot springs, the spa experience, and the views. I also went on the Reykjavik Food Walking Tour which I would highly recommend since TripAdvisor ranks it one of the best activities in all of Europe that year! The Golden Circle is another tour that is a must see which includes a visit to the Gullfoss waterfall, Geysir Geothermal area, and the Thingvellir National Park where Europe and North America meet.

Where are you looking to travel next?

I would love to venture into South America next, specifically Peru or Brazil. I have yet to visit the continent, and experiencing the rich cultures, food, and landscapes would make an unforgettable vacation. I hope to see Machu Picchu soon!

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SEATED WITH STRANGERS DINNER

I

Finding and engaging in a community required intentional choices on my part. Personally, my relationship with God is very important,

started off by looking for a church.

Fortunately, this was an easy process for me. I began by getting planted in the church community. I joined a newlywed group and a bible study group.

Another thing that’s important to me is mental health and therapy, so I joined a therapy group. As a hobby, I love to read. So, I joined a book club from my job where I can build relationships with my coworkers, and another book club where I could get to know local Houstonians. I would recommend someone who’s looking for community to align with your values and hobbies.

Another tip is to be committed and consistent. There are some days where I don’t want to go to any of those groups/activities for several reasons but staying consistent and committing is key to building relationship. My last tip is to be open and approachable.

As a newlywed how do you manage maintaining this new role while also making time for your platonic relationships?

My husband is very encouraging when it comes to building community and friendship. Past experiences have taught me that investing all of one’s time and energy solely into a romantic relationship doesn’t end well. While it’s an ongoing process, I’m actively working on balancing my time to nurture myself, my partner, and my friends/family. The same thoughtfulness and effort I put towards my partner, I try to put it towards myself and my friends.

Lorvena utilized our conversation cards to further engage during a dinner party. The party was mixed of friends and people who didn’t know each other.

Dinner party During the Holdiay’s take time and gather your friends. Go the extra step and provide a beautiful table setting for your guests.

When planning for your dinner party with your friends’ what things did you consider for your guests (décor/food)?

I drew a lot of my inspiration from Tik Tok, where I have an album on there dedicated to hosting, décor, friendship activities, and fun things to do with friends. I also used Pinterest. Truth be told, this was my first time doing this and my friend renting out a beautiful Airbnb helped a lot. I purchased 80% of my supplies from Dollar Tree, cause ya girl is always on a budget. The rest of the things, I purchased from Walmart. I wanted the decoration to give the same elegance as a high-end restaurant. My decorating tip is less is more.

Seated with Strangers has conversation cards that we use during our dinner parties to help engage with guests to get to know each other better.

I'm Lorvena, but you can call me "Lo". I'm a Labor & Delivery nurse by day & a women's health advocate by heart. I'm all about celebrating life's beautiful beginnings. When I'm not in the delivery room, you'll find me curled up with a book, staying active, or indulging in TikTok marathons. Family, friends, and good food are my world!

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How do you think the cards can be beneficial to friendships.

How did you incorporate our conversation cards into your dinner and what was the feedback from your guest as well as yourself?

I assigned two to three cards for the birthday girl and one card to each of the other guests. I chose the cards with the intention of sparking engaging conversations and aligning with each person’s personality. While some of the guests were people I knew, others were not. For those I didn’t know well, I chose cards designed to provide deeper insights into their personalities.

Feedback I got from my guests were all around positive.

I love vulnerability in friendships because it fosters intimacy and that’s exactly what these cards promote.

Some of these questions are things I’ve never thought to ask the people I love or have hesitated to ask.

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IT’S TIME TO TELL YOUR STORY Stephanie BwaBwa

How did you know that writing and being an author was for you? How did you get started?

For a long time, I had no idea writing was for me. Mainly because writing wasn’t something I did for others.

Instead, it was the sole means of escapism I had available to me in different seasons of my life.

It wasn’t until I was shy of twenty years, that I began writing an urban fantasy of my own, and a friend at the time, who also became both my editor and indie writing mentor, pushed me to publish the book. (It’s since been unpublished so don’t go looking for it, and don’t ask me no questions either, puh-leaseeee.)

It’s a powerful thing when people in your environment see what’s inside of you and compel it to come out. My mother always knew I had the gift to write and stopped at nothing until I saw my dreams actualize.

As for how I began? Simple. At the time I was already writing out my prayers in spoken word format. About that time, I also got this idea. I saw a girl, her family, the city she lived in, and snippets of the journey she’d embark on.

Then I sat down and started describing on paper everything I saw. Was it smooth sailing? No. But did it get me started? Absolutely.

TELL YOUR STORY| 27

Did you take any classes to help your craft or how do you continue to grow in your skills?

Read in the genre you want to write in. Read the genre you love reading. Read the genre you hate.

Read. A LOT. Writers are readers. I’ll confess I don’t read as often as I should in some seasons. I can also confess, my writing suffers greatly for it.

There’s a lot you can learn about dialogue, humor, plot, character arcs and development, internal conflict versus external conflicts, world building, pacing, and all the nuisances of writing a brilliant novel, simply by reading books.

And when you finally reach a place inside of you, where you’re searching to read a book but you can’t find it, pull up a chair at a desk, sit down, and start writing.

How are you dealing with AI and the changing world as a writer?

Bottom line: For AI to even function, it needs data.

Who does the data come from? Humans.

Am I happy that there is a technology sourcing from the materials of a creative who poured their soul into their craft and is using it to build shoddy careers for shams who want to make a quick buck off of readers? No. Am I also going to panic about it? No. No one can take the original creativity out of the mouth of a creative unless they hand it over. As an author, one who builds entire worlds in the mind before ever putting it on paper, I have something a machine can never replicate: original imagination.

I’m not scared of AI. I don’t feel challenged by it.

Stephanie is a Christian, Afro-Caribbean, Epic and Romantasy Author with big dreams, a big heart, and novels that fill readers with awe, light, and wonder.

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Did you take any classes to help your craft or how do you continue to grow in your skills?

I highly advocate for growing in your craft. You may be good, but you can’t be great without education to help you along the path to mastery.

I myself have read many books on the craft.

Materials from K.M. Weiland, Joanna Penn, Stephen King, Chris Fox, Jessica Brody, and have taken nearly 90% of all the available masterclasses on writing provided by Masterclass.com.

These are all invaluable resources created by authors who have written, published, and built a living with their writing. I recommend starting with, On Writing by Stephen King (disclaimer: the author does use some profanity, so if that isn’t your cup of tea, try Save the Cat by Jessica Brody) and go from there.

Why was it important to tell stories of fantasy and faith?

Simply because I cannot separate the two. My writing cannot be done in a silo. I will give you a fantastical story with grit and edge and darkness and morally troubled angels, but I will also do so in a way that points to God and shines a light on the one who helps us navigate our own dark world but brings us into his marvelous light. Also, fantasy is lit, and so is Jesus.

Tell us about your latest book or the book?

My latest release is: Barbarian of the Stars, a dark epic romantasy (romance fantasy). This story is a biblical retelling of Ruth and Boaz with a healthy mix of Beauty and the Beast.

This story was a passion project I was happy to see fulfilled. I fell in love with the characters, their journeys of healing, growth, and second chance romance, as well as the actual starry world itself.

GRIEF & THE HOLIDAY | PAGE 29

Managing Grief with Family & Friends What are some coping skills that people can use to manage their grief during the Holiday?

Plan ahead of time. If you know that the holidays are difficult for you, figure out what specifically makes it difficult, and plan to do something to lessen the difficulty. Is it being alone, is it the loss of traditions, is it you are still in the anger and or denial stage? Figuring out specifically what it is and putting things in place that will provide the opposite emotions or response that the difficulty usually comes with will help you to manage your grief during the Holiday. If it’s being alone, surround yourself with friends and family, if it’s missing holiday traditions, start new ones, if it’s anger or denial, make a conscious choice to start moving in the direction of acceptance of your new normal and finding ways to embrace and live life and not just exist.

How can you establish healthy boundaries around holiday events while grieving?

One of the best ways of establishing healthy boundaries is to know what triggers you, what you can handle, and what will overwhelm you. Have a prepared plan of action to remove or avoid those things, places, and people that may trigger you and cause you to feel like your boundaries are being breached. But most of all, be honest and transparent with those who love you and let them know your boundaries, so they are better able to respect your boundaries. The boundaries that you establish when your grief is just starting may not necessarily be the same when you have lived with and through your grief after some time, because as you are allowing yourself to go through the grieving process, you are healing.

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GRIEF & THE HOLIDAY Djuana Edgar-Robinson

What does it look like practically to check in with someone during the holidays who has lost a loved one?

Checking in practically looks like finding out how they are really coping with their grief and finding out what they really need. Some will say that they just want to be alone for the holidays, when being alone is the worst thing for them. It can also look like assisting them with whatever honorary thing that they may want or need to do for their deceased loved one and possibly doing it with them. It may look like inviting them to join you and start new traditions if they don’t have a family to be around. It’s more than just asking if one is okay, but taking the extra step to ensure that the person has support during the season.

What do you wish more people knew about the grieving process and how to extend grace to people trying to navigate this new space?

Grieving is the Healing Process. There’s no specific time frame for grieving. There’s no correct way to grieve.

Grieving is not wrong. Grieving is the body’s natural response and how God created and intended for us to heal from the losses that we will experience. Someone going through grief doesn’t necessarily need someone to fix their situation or push them through the process at a faster pace, but to be present with them, to sit with them, to be present for them when and while they are grieving and as many times as they need it. It doesn’t always require you to speak to be present. Sometimes just your physical presence with them, to listen, to hold them, or to let them feel that they are not alone is enough.

FASHION | 31

PATTY B.

MUST HAVES

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Fashion

For someone who is revamping their wardrobe I’m going to recommend pieces that are versatile like a good pair of denim jeans, a white collared shirt, any leather article of clothing, quality undergarments and a leather or animal print pump.

Don’t forget a pair of designer sunnies! I really love Salvatore Ferragamo because of the classic look and clean silhouettes.

Until recently, I honestly thought that my love for fashion was very materialist and something very superficial. Now, I openly welcome the fact that I am a collector of clothing and it’s not just about shopping. My love for fashion can attributed to a lot of avenues but mainly my love for Barbie. As an only child, it was something I could do for hours at a time. My big duffel bag provided an abundance of options to style my dolls differently every time. There were no limits, and I was able to get lost in this fictional world of fashion all by myself.

My grandmother, June, had an influence on my sense of style. I doubt she ever considered herself a fashionista but looking back I can remember she had a lot of statement pieces, especially her pocketbook and jewelry collection. I would say I began to develop a sense of style in high school. I was introduced to the world of urban and editorial fashions through Vibe magazine and music videos on BET and MTV. As well as in college being around people from different locations like DC and New York inspired me to dress according to my rules.

FASHION ACCORDING TO MY RULES Fast fashion is so bad for the environment as synthetic fibers like polyester don’t really break down, if at all.

It’s way more affordable and the quality used to be way better 10+ years ago. I have “fast fashion” pieces from H&M, a multi-hued sweater that picked off the sale rack and I still have it.

I would the exception the rule is to keep your “fast fashion” pieces for at least two seasons as fashion is always revolving. Once you’re done with them…don’t toss bit consider taking to a local donation center or reselling on a site like Poshmark.

I have a pair of Marc Fisher cream knee boots that I absolutely adore because they are vintage inspired, can be worn with jeans or a dress and they are wide fit as I have larger calves and I have a time finding something to fit!

My other favorite items are my yellow and black Fendi triangle crossbody bag, butternut squash vintage leather trench coat and tan fedora from Gigi Pip!

Patrice Boone, also known as Patty B, is the owner and Creative Director of Fringe Creative Co., a design den based in Coastal Virginia where she specializes in providing visual essentials for social + corporate events as well as lifestyle entrepreneurs.

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GIFTS TO GET

YOURSELF

BUSINESS|PAGE 34

FAITH & BUSINESS “I believe that we tend to start our businesses with God and then we forget Him at some point in our quest to become successful. Consequently, we seek knowledge and wisdom from others instead of God.”

MAKE GOD YOUR CEO. I entered into business in 2014 when I created a nonprofit organization. In 2016 I branched into the for-profit sphere by launching a business consulting agency that trained business owners in places around the world as far as Botswana. In 2018 a publishing company idea that started as an experiment turned into a full roster of notable clients, including a member of the U.S. Congress. That was soon followed by the launch of my brand, my first book, and a signature event in Jamaica with distinguished guests.

I got to a point where I made six figures in profit. On the outside, on paper, I looked like I had it made. Unbeknownst to others, I battled internally with the fear that I was doing too much, as many around me were doing only one thing. I felt insecure and unsure of myself. It didn’t seem trendy or normal to be multi- passionate. So, what did I do? I made changes to match what I saw others doing. One by one I stopped working on the various aspects of my calling to business that made me unique and aligned with God’s will.

If we follow the God-given strategies and let Him be the CEO of our business, we will be prepared to deal with all issues that arise such as pandemics, inflation, and even artificial intelligence. But like me, most of us we don’t listen to Him the first time or even the second time. Perhaps this is why Proverbs 24:17 teaches that a righteous man may fall seven times because God knows we are stubborn human beings who wrestle with our flesh.

To be honest, running multiple passions is a lot and requires listening keenly to God for direction so He can tell you where to go and in what season. For example, I might have a season where I am doing back-to-school drives for my community and another season where I am publishing books.

A crucial piece to the strategy includes having a team that understands where you are going and knows how to support you. You must trust God to know that if He tells you to plan an event in 30 days, it’s going to work if you follow His instructions. Trust God that if He says, “Launch a program to your email list only”. Don’t stress yourself out with social media campaigns and then be upset when they bear no fruit. God’s literally giving us strategies to execute in our business, but sometimes we don’t take the time to listen and obey.

Today, I unapologetically share that I am Dr. Sidjae Price — best-selling Author, Speaker, CEO of Priceless Publishing LLC, founder of Speak Loud Incorporated, executive producer of Black Male Stories, and creator of Rise and Shine Jamaica Expo. I am a faith-based multipassionate entrepreneur and God is my CEO.

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NEW YEAR NEW YOU? Sonja Williams We’ve seen when the New Year approaches that people start to audit their life and set out to make changes but don’t make it past the auditing process.

Why do we get stuck at making the same declarations each year?

Shame. A lot of the time we get really excited about the prospect of accomplishing big dreams but when we begin to look back discouragement can definitely set in. This discouragement and shame can cause us all to get stuck in the same place and not able to move forward in our lives. And sometimes causes us to just repeat the same goals with less and less belief in ourselves being able to complete them. But the key to pushing past that shame and discouragement is to actually grieve the loss and learn from it. Sometimes people think that if we just ignore a failure that it won’t affect us but that’s not true.

Our minds, our bodies remember and can stop us emotionally or even physically from pushing forward. I’ve even succumbed to this myself! I had a goal of getting healthy and increasing my physical activity that I just couldn’t seem to complete. I began to get discouraged and almost gave up! But I remembered a key step in winning at our dreams—closing the door! We have to intentionally break that cycle of failure by looking at the failure right in its face, evaluating why and what, and then finding the lesson in it. As you begin this journey of auditing your dreams and goals and setting up for the new year:

Don’t be afraid to look at those failures (and your wins; those can be a hinderance to moving forward too).

Don’t be afraid to evaluate. Inquire about the why you missed the mark and what caused it.

Don’t be afraid to search for the lesson, and Don’t be ashamed to start again.

Your dream is worth it!

NEW YEAR NEW YOU | PAGE 36

Is it important to establish your personal values first when pursuing your dreams and if so, why?

Yes! It is very important! Having your values in order helps you focus and pursue the dreams you actually desire to make. Without establishing your values, you will set goals and dreams based on what society and others around you believe are the best for you. This reminds of a Proverb that I love! “Without revelation people run wild…”

Without clear vision we run to whatever feels good or seems to be the right thing to do. If you don’t understand what’s truly important to you, you may run towards the goal of becoming a doctor but you really love and are good at painting. You make hit the goal, but you won’t truly be fulfilled. Understanding what you value and getting clear about the principles you want to live your life by help you build guardrails around the decisions you make. You won’t be so easily swayed by the well-meaning thoughts of others, or the desire to please people.

For someone who has a lot of dreams how do they determine where they start first and what’s the priority?

If overnight process means three long years of sacrificing vacations, living at home with my parents, and not getting what I want when I want it then yes it was an overnight process- haha! Getting out of debt was a journey of self-discovery and also discipline, for sure. Honestly it was a combination of getting some clear steps in line through a really popular financial program, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University, and then also getting serious about what I really value. I took some time to look within and see that I could not prosper with this debt hanging over my head and I won’t be able to accomplish all the desires of my heart if my health was not in order. Both my debt and my unhealthy lifestyle were hinderances that I was not willing to continue living with. I believe that’s the key in taking on any big goalfocusing on one small win at a time. What’s that saying? “How do you eat an elephant?” One bite at a time!”.

For someone who has a lot of dreams how do they determine where they start first and what’s the priority?

The first priority is to get clear! A lot of the time dreams feel so big and insurmountable because it’s not really clear. Write down exactly where you want to go, with detail, as if its already done. And don’t worry about which one to do first just yet because a lot of the time it’s in the clarity session that you can see what you should do first! You didn’t ask, but the second priority is to get clear about where you are right now. Don’t hold anything back. Give a very specific description of your current state when it comes to that dream(s). I like to think about accomplishing goals and dreams in the imagery of a GPS. How does a GPS get you to your destination? You identify where you want to go, the GPS identifies where you are and when you hit start on your GPS it creates the path to Sonja is a life alignment coach focused on helping multi-passionate busy women make their dreams meet reality. She does that through partnering with her clients to build life plans, goals, and routines all geared towards intentionally living and making dreams meet reality.

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closing the gap between your location and destination, right?

This is the same for your life and that is why it’s so important to identify those two key things. It’s in the identification of those things that you can begin an intelligent journey towards deciding the order in which you take on your dreams and the path you take for each one of them.

DINNER PARTY PLANS | PAGE 37

D

I N N E R P A R T Y P L A N S

What would people be surprised to know about planning an event – and what do people not consider when planning?

Most people do not understand all the small yet big details that go into planning most events. I'm a planner that specializes in wedding planning and I take my clients' budget very seriously.

Being aware of their budget is always in the forefront of their mind when selecting design, and other vendors for their event no matter how big or small. I emphasize to my clients that every head they add is so much more than just the meal itself.

They must take into consideration not only the meal, but the chairs, additional tables, linen, silverware, custom menus if applicable, personalization of name tags if applicable, glassware, liquor, desserts, cake size, it even dictates the venues you select and so much more.

Oftentimes our guest list is much larger than necessary, and I explain to my clients they can save hundreds if not thousands of dollars simply by having a very selective guest list.

at home dinner parties When hosting an at home dinner party would you splurge a little and send out personal invitations?

I'm not against stationery, I think it’s gorgeous, but for a home dinner party I personally always opt for electronic invites. I love using evite for example because they have some amazing pre-made templates or if you're good at customizing invites like I love to do, you have that option as well, also not to forget to mention it helps you to save money on printing and stamps and gives your guest options to RSVP immediately and a super easy way of tracking those RSVPs. It provides other great options like Polls to give your guest options on what to bring, for example things like games to play for entertainment, drinks, and movies to watch, etc.

MY FIVE MUST HAVES Displays for food & drinks (High/low method preferred) because presentation is EVERYTHING !

Non-Breakable champagne and cocktail glassware are game changers Being a florist I must have fresh flower centerpieces to add beauty and gorgeous smells I like to make it personal, so I have customized name tags for my guests and beautiful place settings Wine buckets or wine carts, I like to display my wines and drinks in multiple ways so having this always gives an event an added flair

Tips for the host so that you don’t feel overwhelmed?

Make a budget, write everything down, and don't be afraid to ask for someone to help you. Taking on any event to plan can be overwhelming and bring in a sense of anxiety because you want everything to be perfect.

Asking someone who shares your love for planning events and get togethers will always be a wise choice, so you don't become overwhelmed.

It's also a good idea to have someone else to throw ideas around with, but most of all remember dinner parties are usually intimate events that's shared with people who know, love, and trust so the biggest takeaway is to remember to "HAVE FUN AND CREATE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE"!

Ivory Nicole A’Mor Exclusive Events

7

PLACES TO CONNECT WITH FRIENDS & FAMILY

She loves Me

Wilcoxson

Val’s

Learn to arrange flowers

Brooklyn Ceramics

Cheesecake Class

with a few friends, solo or a

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handcrafted with your

wine, and your very own

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friends.

7” mini cheesecake to take home.

The Blaque Butterfly

The Mills House

If you are looking for a

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heart of the modern

Reese Hall is your perfect

South.

destination.

BlackHair Experience The Black Hair Experience is an interactive selfie-museum that combines a pop-up art exhibit.

BOUJEE LODGE

WINTER ESCAPE

By Alexandra & Rob Twele

Residing in South Florida we knew we wanted to have and create a space where we could escape the hustle and bustle of city life and connect with nature. Me (Alex) originally coming from NYC and Rob originally from the Mountains of western Pennsylvania, I wanted to create a space where luxury and nature collide. I didn’t want just the traditional cabin, it had to be “Boujee”.

After visiting Blue Ridge for many years, we fell in love with the quaint town, which has some great restaurants (we are also foodies) and lots of things to do in nature (lake life, hiking, waterfalls, tubing, rafting and much more). There are also some great wineries, breweries, and shops as well. Blue Ridge became our small-town home away from home.

There is a lot to do outdoors from novice to expert, hiking, horseback riding, boat rentals to go out on Lake Blue Ridge, tubing the Toccoa River and white water rafting the Ocoee River and you can go wine tasting at local wineries.

The design of the home features a modern / rustic design. I wanted to create a space that had both of our personalities in mind. The decor was chosen to accentuate the outdoors and bring the colors of nature inside while maintaining a modern luxe feel. We also wanted to have a large outdoor living space to enjoy as much of beauty and milder weather that the North Georgia Mountains provide. We have 3 bedrooms (3 King Beds) and 3 full bathrooms; we accommodate 6 guests.

One of my favorite features are the walls of glass when you walk in and mesmerizing long range mountain view, I can just stare out there all day. Of course, the hot tub and swing bed by the fireplace with that view is also amazing. We offer a lot of amenities to enjoy. The overall cabin has such an amazing vibe just being there creates such a sense of peace within, it’s hard to explain.

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