ASK AN EXPERT SHIVANI HALFORD

Founder and CEO of Pink Fluff HR Consultancy talks about how to handle difficult conversations at work - without making things worse.

Tough talks are part of running a business and it is the most common topic we are asked for support on, so for this edition, I thought we would answer this question in more detail.

Let’s be honest – no one enjoys them.

Talking to someone about underperformance, poor behaviour or a personal issue at work isn’t top of anyone’s fun list. It’s awkward. Emotions run high. And the risk of getting it wrong feels huge.

In our experience, most workplace situations that spiral out of control have one thing in common: a difficult conversation that never happened.

So what do people do? They stall. Let it slide. Hope it’ll sort itself out. Or they go in too hard and spend days second-guessing how it landed.

But here’s the truth: avoiding the conversation is almost always worse than having it.

Left unspoken, problems fester. Morale dips. Productivity suffers. And sometimes you end up with a grievance or tribunal claim – all because one uncomfortable chat never took place.

Handled well, though, these conversations can strengthen relationships. They create clarity, rebuild trust and give people the chance to reset or improve.

You don’t need to be a therapist or legal expert. You just need to plan it out and lead with humanity.

Let’s break it down.

1. Preparation is your secret weapon

If you only remember one thing, make it this: the worst conversations are the ones done on the fly.

Before you start, think about:

• What exactly happened? Be specific, not vague.

• What’s your outcome? A reset? Support? A formal step?

• Could something else be going on for them – stress, burnout, health issues?

• Where do you stand legally? If this could lead to formal action, get HR advice first.

Also check in with yourself. If you’re angry or flustered, you’re not ready. Get calm before you go in.

2. Timing and setting matter more than you think

There’s no perfect moment – but there are definitely wrong ones.

Don’t raise it in a group Zoom, or right before the weekend. Aim for a calm moment when you both have headspace.

Give notice – a quick “Can we catch up this afternoon?” is enough. Keep it private and neutral. Your aim isn’t to catch someone out –it’s to understand and move forward.

3. Start human, stay clear

Begin gently: “I’d like to talk something through and get your viewpoint as well.”

Human Resources is crucial for any business, no matter its size. By outsourcing HR to a trusted partner like Pink Fluff, you’ll save time, reduce risk and focus on growing your business.

Then be clear and specific. “There were three missed deadlines last month, which delayed the team” is more helpful than “You’re not pulling your weight.”

Stick to behaviour and impact – not personality. It’s about facts, not feelings. Clear is kind.

4. Listen like you mean it

Once you’ve spoken, pause. Let them talk. There may be context you weren’t aware of.

Ask open questions. Show that you’re open to hearing their side. It’s not about catching people out – it’s about giving them a fair chance to be heard.

Listening builds trust – even when things feel tense.

5. Follow up and move forward

The conversation is just the start.

Follow up in writing. Summarise what was discussed and note any agreed steps. Offer support if it’s needed and if things don’t improve, you’ve got a clear record to build on.

Consistency and fairness protect both your people and your business.

The final word

These conversations will never be easy –but they don’t need to be scary.

Handled properly, they clear the fog, build trust and help your team grow.

If you ever feel unsure where to begin, remember – Pink Fluff HR is always here for the tough stuff.

Ready to take the stress out of HR? Get in touch with us today on