BOLD issue #3

“DAD’S THANK ME FOR INVOLVING THEM”

“IT’S CHANGED HOW I LOOK AT MYSELF”

3 NIPPLE

Hannah is a mum of a newborn baby and 3 year old. She is also a professional Burlesque instructor & dancer based in Ilkeston. Her work has seen her promote body positivity and self confidence with hundreds of women. As her chapter has moved on into starting a family, she has absolutely no desire to change her job for a more common, stereotypical 9 – 5!

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“I think it’s important that my son knows what I do. It’s important for him to learn about women and why they’re doing it rather than, for example, an outsider looking in and having something negative to say without knowing about it.”

Learn more about Hannah’s roles –as a mum and lover of all things Burlesque – on page 4.

07946 915151 or search “Burlesquercise UK” on Facebook for more information on their classes in Ilkeston.

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www.burlesquercise.co.uk

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF Be Bold Be You

I don’t know about you but Spring is my favourite time of year. I’m not a believer in New Years Resolutions, as you may have heard me mention on my radio show with Amber Sound FM every Saturday (midnight until 3am, incase you were wondering!).

I think setting goals is so much better with the brighter weather helping than dark & cold days and months although I have LOVED putting together our 3rd edition BOLD! As a mum of three daughters, it’s been so cathartic to chat with other parents and know that parenting has ups and downs and not just those filtered stories & photos social media likes to fill our brains, with.

IT’S OVER TO REAL MEN & WOMEN, ONCE AGAIN, IN THIS EDITION!

A member of the BBBY Tribe, Tonya, has written an article on her discovery & love of open water swimming & cold water therapy, as part of her self care regime as a busy mum of 3.

James, co-founder of Be Bold Be You and Photographer at Be My Baby Photography discusses his role as a newborn photographer in a female dominated industry & our guest writer, Rhys, of Peak Mortgages & Protection explains how they’re able to help families across the East Midlands through their work. AND THEN there’s our cover star! Meet Hannah, aka Scarlett Rose, a working mum of two who discusses

her love of inspiring other women – of all ages and shapes – in her role as a Burlesque dancer and instructor.

However you choose to join the Be Bold Be You Tribe – whether it’s through our interactive Facebook group (be bold be you be here), signing up to receive our FREE magazine or indulging in a confidence boosting photoshoot with us at our studios in Belper, we’re absolutely thrilled to welcome you to Be Bold Be You.

James & Kirsty

JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP OF OVER 500 REAL WOMEN beboldbeyouuk

We hope that this magazine inspires you to join the tribe and feel proud of who you are.

As Oscar once said, “Be bold, be you. Everyone else is already taken.”

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I feel good

“IS IT RIGHT TO HAVE HIS MUM IN Nipple

Tassels?

I leave them around the house, they’re a normal thing to me! There’s some next to me on the dining table right now!”

I think it’s important that my son knows what I do. It’s important for him to learn about women and why they’re doing it rather than, for example, an outsider looking in and having something negative to say without knowing about it.”

As pro photographers, when you put a model callout for willing, pregnant, mums to help with a new set of props you’ve been asked to help photograph for next season you always hope to meet willing & confident parents-to-be who are happy to have their photograph taken.

Imagine our absolute excitement when a professional Burlesque Dancer contacted us!

I’ll be honest, I hijacked her original call-out and asked if this wonderful working mum of (almost!) 2 would be willing to be our cover star for BOLD magazine.

Burlesque dancing appears to be growing in popularity but isn’t new to our UK culture. Victorian Burlesque was popular in the 1800s as a form of theatrical entertainment seeing famous writers & composers of the time –

including J R Planch´, W S Gilbert – of Gilbert & Sullivan fame - and Fred Leslie to name a few. “The genre of burlesque means a lot of the women want to come because of it being about body confidence and sometimes they can’t find that within themselves.” Says Hannah –aka Scarlett Rose – a professional Burlesque dancer and burlesque instructor from Derbyshire.

“We meet so many people through our doors.” Explains Hannah. “We meet those who are, usually younger, people so have a bit of selfconfidence about them through to those who are looking for something to help them find themselves, again…

Ladies over 50 whose kids have left home so they’re finding something to do for themselves with this new time they’ve got; Ladies who don’t have kids and come with their friends as something to do on an evening and single ladies who simply do it for themselves to feel good”.

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It’s great to see the different range of those who come to do burlesque because it can help so many.

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Hannah explains, smiling.

“For me, I can spend the day being mum and then I come into the dance studio and I’m just Hannah and I can feel myself at Burlesque.” She adds.

Hannah’s journey with dance isn’t due to chance. What started as something to do as an energetic 3 year old – in the form of ballet & tap – grew into a passion throughout her childhood & teenage years, landing many roles in local shows.

Something that was meant to give her such freedom and confidence, though, had tainted her own body image – something that she didn’t realize until much later in life, as a Burlesque performer.

“I was putting photographs & reels on my work Instagram and thought

“I look good”

It was only then that I realised that I hadn’t had a positive look on myself. Looking back on it now I think it’s because as a young girl I’d always be given the role of the boy because I was taller & curvier than most.

It didn’t help a teenager with selfconfidence at that age as my body was changing and I was being given a masculine role, not a feminine one.” She reflects.

It’s an interesting chapter shift for Hannah, though, as she begins maternity leave from her role as a burlesque dancer & instructor to look forward to becoming a mum of two.

“I was about 30 weeks pregnant and I decided I needed to take maternity leave. I can’t reach to peel my stocking off over the baby bump!” she jokes.

Hannah reminisces over her love of burlesque as a form of exercise, before becoming pregnant with her frst child.

“From dancing I’d not lost weight but my body had changed – become more toned, if you like – and I liked how that made me feel. Since then I’ve been pregnant twice and after having my first baby I felt I’d put weight on so I used burlesque as a fitness boost but also to be able to turn around and say

“I feel good”

It’s changed how I look at myself.” Hannah explained. It’s certainly a mantra that rang true in both my own understanding of motherhood, body image and those we meet at our photography studio.

So, how did you get into Burlesque?

Hannah giggles –“My mum!

She went to the first burlesque exercise class that started in Ilkeston. It was more a fitness thing for her and her friends. She came back and said I had to go and I’ve been there since week 2.” explains Hannah. “I am an instructor now so, technically, I still do it with my mum but I now teach her!”

Burlesque is like a close knit family as well as the exercise and something that I’ve realised, over the years, is that exercise is important but the social side is, too.

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But it’s not just Hannah who feels this way, as she meets many through her role as an instructor.

“It doesn’t always have to be in skimpy outfits.” Hannah wants to make clear.

“At training most ladies turn up in leggings and t-shirts but I guarantee that once the rehearsals come for the show you’ll be asking where is the best place to buy heels you can dance in and where you can buy big black pants to dance in!”

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YOU HAVE TO COME

AND see it, and

feel it, TO REALIZE IT’S LIKE A TYPE OF FAMILY AT BURLESQUE BECAUSE THERE IS SO MUCH SUPPORT FROM THE OTHER LADIES.

From listening to Hannah, it sounds like such a wonderful world of support & encouragement that becomes its own carousel, as ladies appear to inspire others with their own, new found, confdence.

“Every year we do a charity performance and you see them, at the side of the stage, absolutely bricking it – really not looking forward to it! The wobbly shaky knees disappear when they’re on that stage and they come off saying “I want to do it, again!”. Hannah smiles.

“You want the audience direction and that response from your audience to keep those on stage, going!” she explains.

These performances then inspire other women to join in the fun –having a thirst for a slice of the confidence they’ve just seen their

loved one wear. “Ladies come to watch it with their mates and then you see that they want to join & get involved because they’ve seen it and believe that they can do it, too.” Hannah says.

“Our girls inspire other ladies to try burlesque and it gives individuals that opportunity to explore more.” She adds.

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You won’t know if you like it until you try it so give it a go.

Why Life Insurance?

By Rhys Schofield

IS THERE A LESS SEXY PHRASE THAN ‘LIFE INSURANCE’ BECAUSE I’M STRUGGLING TO COME UP WITH ONE?

Nonetheless, it’s one of those life admin jobs that’s really important to do, and importantly do right.

Especially after the birth of a child, given that the average cost of raising a child to 18 is £166,000 for a couple and £220,000 for a lone parent.

If the worst was to happen, that’s a big bill to leave for someone who’s doing you a massive favour in looking after your children.

Good life insurance means that whilst everything else will be sad, hard and tough for those left to pick up the pieces, at least the financial burden will be one less thing to worry about.

Mortgage time is a big one, as is a particularly shocking episode of 24 hours in A&E but the other major event is birth of a child.

Which then triggers a conversation with someone like myself to look at doing things properly.

without having to pay 40% away to Jeremy Hunt in inheritance tax and the money doesn’t need to go through probate for 12-18 months, instead reaching families within days at a time they could really do with it.

Photo credit: Peak mortgages & protection

BEING‘That Guy’ IN A FEMALE-LED INDUSTRY

James is an established photographer, having photographed 1000’s of families across his 20 year career as a portrait photographer.

He loved his first job as a family portrait photographer based on the Morledge in Derby, even though he says he was known to not follow the rules.

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Firefly Photography started life on Friar Gate in Derby city centre and became a small chain of high street studios, extending studio locations to both Lichfield and Leicester.

“Looking back on it now, that’s not what I wanted.”

I got in all sorts of trouble because I never did what I was meant to. I’d get carried away and run over on time, photographing the kids who just wanted the time to play, he says.

“My dad ran a factory, as did my Grandpa, and I’m the 3rd James of the family so I followed suit of the business-James way I’d been brought up on.”

“It turns out I prefer people to paperwork!”

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“Cheap shoots in return for 20 minutes to shoot the same poses & choose their photographs… It didn’t look after the family” James reminisces.

“I knew what was needed to look after a family in a photography studio, so I set up Firefly Photography.”

It wasn’t just the studio that he missed though. During his ten years of running Firefly Photography James got married and became a dad to 3 daughters. “It’s an obvious cliché, but my priorities had to change and spending the day in a car going between studios, being away most weekends and then working into the night to catch up on editing or admin wasn’t doing me or my family any favours.” He reflects.

Photo credit: Be my Baby at Studio1825

FAST FORWARD TO 2024, AND JAMES IS feeling more positive ABOUT DOWNSIZING HIS PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS. “

I’ve got a camera back in my hand and I can play in a studio, again! he says.

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A recent diagnosis of ADHD, at the age of 44, has also made him reflect on his own needs. “I can concentrate on one task at a time and do it really well. I can’t multitask. I don’t enjoy having to manage a team as I can’t manage my own tasks!” he jokes.

“I do miss the high street days but for me to feel like I’ve achieved at the end of the day, Studio1825 is absolutely where I feel most comfortable as I only have the individuals in the studio to look after and do my best, for.”

“One of the things that has struck me about being a male newborn art photographer, in a femaledominated market, is that dad’s thank me for talking to them about parenthood.” James goes on to say.

“I’d not really realised it until it was pointed out to me by other new parents but the entire parental journey is full of females – from healthcare workers to shop assistants helping you choose nursery furniture & car seats.

Dad’s thank me for involving them in conversations during maternity shoots, for example, and enjoy the sometimes frank conversations,

about the highs and lows of the first couple of weeks of parenthood, once their newborn has arrived,” he says.

“It appears, as men, we go from sleeping through the 40 weeks of pregnancy to being landed with a baby and a hormonally charged and exhausted partner.

We suddenly have to kick into overdrive and be there, for them both.

Women seem to have had a bit more of a build-up to the sudden shock we get as they’ve spent the last couple of months of pregnancy being kicked, prodded and kept awake in the night!

Let’s face it, women are a powerhouse to endure what they do in 40 weeks, give birth and then keep going!”

Self-esteem boosting lingerie for breast cancer survivors, by a breast cancer survivor

Coming Soon

SWIMMING THROUGH Life’s Hoops

It is becoming increasingly difficult in this crazy, media driven world, to find that illusive ‘me time’ and as mums, when we do find it, we are often hit with feelings of guilt for taking those moments for ourselves.

BUT SELF-CARE HAS NEVER BEEN MORE IMPORTANT.

By Tonya Bethell-Hines

There is overwhelming evidence to show that when we set aside time for ourselves, to engage in activities that shut out the peripheral stresses in our lives and bring our focus to the moment, it can have significantly positive benefits on our mental and emotional wellbeing.

I am getting better at this, but it hasn’t come easily. It has taken selfreflection, life changing experiences and time, to get to a place where I am more comfortable taking time

out to do activities that, if just for a short while, make me feel like ‘me’ again.

Being an older mum of three energetic young boys, I have had to adjust my expectations of what I can achieve in a day and focus more on ‘quality’ and less on ‘quantity.’

I still attempt to spin life’s plates with the finesse of a circus artiste, but I now accept that the occasional breakage is all part of the act!

NO-ONE IS PERFECT, BUT WHAT IS MAKING ME A BETTER, MORE PATIENT MUM, FOR THE MOST PART, IS MAKING SURE I THAT I TAKE TIME TO FILL MY OWN CUP, SO I HAVE MORE TO GIVE TO THOSE I LOVE.

I am really into health, wellbeing and future-proofing myself so I choose activities that fit around the children. I gym and jog ‘ad hoc’ and do an aerial hoop class when they are asleep, but the real game changer has been Wild Swimming.

PLUNGING INTO ICY WATER FOR FUN MIGHT NOT BE FOR EVERYONE, BUT FOR ME, THE FEELING OF BEING ENVELOPED IN A WATERY EMBRACE, EVOKES A SENSE OF calm, stilness, and inner peace.

It’s like a mental, emotional and physical factory reset. There is mounting research outlining the numerous benefits of Cold Water Therapy, especially for women.

The wild swim community itself, attracts a friendly, encouraging, inclusive crowd of dippers, dunkers, and swimmers alike, people of all ages, abilities, shapes and sizes, who all have different backgrounds but who share one common passion.

It has had a hugely positive impact on my overall wellbeing, and I have been lucky to meet some wonderful

and inspirational friends since my first dip almost four years ago. I simply can’t imagine life without it, even if it’s just a dip in my ice-bath tub in the garden!

Through engaging in activities that fit in and around our busy family life, I’m finding a growing balance between ‘me’ as a person and ‘me’ as a mum, and we are all better for it.

I BELIEVE IT IS GOOD FOR CHILDREN TO SEE PARENTS PURSUING HOBBIES, IN FACT OUR BOYS HAVE EVEN STARTED TO JOIN ME!

My hope is to inspire them to keep trying new pursuits and do things that make them happy.

It is all too easy to get caught up jumping through life’s hoops, but if you take anything from reading this, why not make 2024 the year to pick up an old hobby, or try something new, something just for you.

IT WILL NOT ONLY HELP YOU RECONNECT WITH YOUR INNER CHILD AND BRING YOU FUN AND JOY (AND LET’S FACE IT, WE ALL NEED MORE OF THIS!) BUT IN DOING SO, IT WILL ALSO HAVE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON THOSE AROUND YOU TOO.

And, if wild swimming is something you fancy, why not do some safety research, join a group, and take the plunge, it might even change your life!!

@swimming through lifes hoops

Photo credit: Tonya Bethell-Hines