thoughts and feelings about themselves and displays them, children will learn those behaviors. A child’s brain says, “Wow! I think my mom/dad/auntie/caregiver is awesome, but I hear them being mean to themselves about the way they look. And if they’re not as awesome as I think they are, then maybe I’m not as awesome as they think I am.” Self-respect is interrelated to selfconfidence. When a person admires who they are, they can face hardships confidently and trust their own decision-making. Self-respect and self-confidence can be quantified in a myriad of ways, including feelings that one possesses good qualities and satisfaction with oneself.
Self-Confidence and Self-Respect
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BY THE CHILDREN’S COALITION FOR NORTHEAST LOUISIANA
elf-respect and self-confidence are Alexandra Cory, LMSW, CFLE-P~ is a not the same as self-esteem. They are Training and Technical Assitsance Coordinator components of self-esteem and are for the Working to Institutionalize Sex based on valuing yourself for who Education (WISE) Initiative at the Georgia you are, but they are Campaign for Adolescent Power outward facing; whereas selfand Potential in Atlanta, GA. esteem is inward facing. SelfShe trains and advises schoolesteem concentrates on the based staff who are interested value you give to your abilities in comprehensive sex education. and skills. Self-respect and Alexandra has earned a Bachelor self-confidence refer to the of Science in Family and Child positive feelings that you have Studies and a Master of Social about yourself; you value who Work from Grambling State you are, you believe you can do University. Her professional something. Having self-respect background includes educating and self-confidence are very parents on child development important. It is a form of selfand working with adults living love, showing that you accept with substance use disorder. AL E X AND R A CO RY yourself for who you are, no matter what others say. If you are Q: What is the most important lacking self-respect ro self-confidence, you can thing parents need to know about selfeasily be ridiculed and put down by others. It is confidence and self-respect? much more productive to take positive action A: Cambridge University describes selfbased on having a healthy self-respect or selfrespect as, “positive thoughts and feelings confidence, regardless of your thoughts and about yourself.” Children learn what this looks feelings. Your actions also will help improve like through modeling from their parents and your self-esteem. caregivers. If a parent or caregiver has negative 96 FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.BAYOULIFEMAG.COM
Q: Why is it important for parents to talk to their children about self-confidence and selfrespect? A: People who feel good about themselves have the confidence to try new things and to try again if they fail at first. As a result, healthy self-confidence and self-respect helps kids do better at school, at home, and with friends. A person who does not feel sure of themselves, however, may let others treat them poorly and may have a hard time standing up for themselves. They may give up easily, or not try at all. Promoting children’s confidence provides them with the tools needed to make good choices. Children make decisions all the time but are often unaware that they are doing so. Encouraging your child to consciously make wise decisions includes helping a child clarify the problem, identifying their feelings about the situation, brainstorming possible solutions, and allowing the child to choose the best solution. A parent can follow-up with their child about the solution to see how it worked out for them. Q: What can you do to increase a child’s selfconfidence and self-respect? A: Help your child learn to do things. This may be showing them a video, walking them through step by step directions, or even making up a fun song to learn a new task. When teaching kids how to do things, show and help them at first; teach by example, then let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. Don’t make new challenges too easy or too hard. Think about the first time you learned to tie your shoelaces or even hold a pencil. It was challenging but you figured it out with practice. Focus on your child’s strengths and not their areas of improvement. Pay attention to what your child does well and enjoys. Give your child opportunities to develop these strengths. Also, encourage them to work on their areas of improvement with kind words.