





















Welcome to June, friends, and I want to say Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. I will get to that later in the upfront.
I want to say thank you to Maria Gus, our Visit Bartlesville lady. She promotes this city and this area like no one else could. In this feature story, we visit 10 places in Oklahoma that you need to put the kids in the car and go see. We live in a great diverse state and I believe Maria has touched every part of our beautiful state as she gives you vacation options you might not have thought of visiting. Thank you, Maria, for all you do for this city we call home.
The cover photo is of Lake Hefner in Oklahoma City, which might be one of the most beautiful covers we have done. As I have said in the past, when you put a cover on a magazine, it needs to be a cover that people will want to pick up, read in its entirety and then keep it. That is how in the last 8 years we have grown to over 20,000 people reading this magazine monthly and mailed copies to over 24 states!
I want to look back at May real quick and talk about Gracefest 2025. This was our fifth Gracefest and what a concert we had. Our largest ever, so thank you Bartlesville, and the three other states that were represented this year. We had an estimated over 1,500 people come out to celebrate what we do every Mother’s Day weekend, which is to have a free Christian concert where we can help bring people closer to our savior, Jesus Christ, who, without a doubt, has been prominent in our lives. All proceeds go to B the Light Mission. This year, we raised close to $10,000, and we know that four people gave their hearts to HIM! (Jesus)
Father’s Day…this is a tough subject for me to write and talk about. If you have read this magazine for more than 4 years, you have read in the past the stories I have written about my childhood. Not good! I was 12 years old before I found out that my father, who had beaten me for 8 of my 12 years, was not my real father. My real father walked out on me, my mom, and my older brother when I was 7 days old. I want to catch up with you and tell you
that my stepdad, who beat me black and blue, died 3 weeks ago. The last time I laid eyes on him was 1984. I do forgive him and that’s all I have to say about that. My real father died 7 years ago. I did finally meet him before Christy and I got married in 2005. He denied me as his son and we had to take a DNA test, and guess what? I was 99.9% his son.
So, I want to talk to all the fathers out there. I don’t care if you’re a dad or a stepdad, these are your kids, and they are your responsibility. Would my life be different? It might have been, but this is what is important for all of us dads out there…there are probably not many dads who have let down, failed, and disappointed their kids as I have. I have fought inner battles to not only forgive myself for the years of my addiction, but to let my kids know how much I love them and how proud of all of them! Do not ever give up on one of your kids, and I mean NEVER! You will never know what God has in store for them! It might not be in your timing, but hey, I can tell you my mom had many chances to give up on me, even when I was 36 years old, shooting dope in my arm with 6 kids and one on the way, she did not ever give up on me. And today, even though she is in heaven, the love and sacrifice she poured upon me allowed me to become 18 years clean, with 6 beautiful children (one in heaven, Tyler) and in 5 months I am going to have my 6th grandchild who all call me POPS! I can tell you this, I remember it like it was yesterday. I told myself when I was 12 years old that I never wanted to be a father because of all that I went through as a child; however, when all my hope was gone, God had a different story for my life and with tears in my eyes, I give HIM all the praise and glory for not hearing those words I said so many years ago because today HE blessed me as a father and a POPS! This is my legacy, and even though I fell on my face and messed up so many times in the past, I can say today I’m not the best Dad out there, but I’m sure better than I was!
Happy Father’s Day, God bless, Keith
PS…Happy Birthday, Grace on June 12th, and Parker on June 21st!
Volume XVI Issue VI
Bartlesville Monthly Magazine is published by ENGEL PUBLISHING
New office located in the B the Light Mission 219 North Virginia Avenue, Bartlesville, Oklahoma 74003 www.bartlesvillemonthly.com facebook.com/bartlesvillemonthly
Publisher Brian Engel brian@bartlesvillemonthly.com
Graphics Engel Publishing matt@engelpublishing.com
Director of Sales & Marketing Keith McPhail keith@bartlesvillemonthly.com
Community Liaison Christy McPhail christy@bartlesvillemonthly.com
Project Manager Andrea Whitchurch andrea@bartlesvillemonthly.com
Administration Shelley Greene Stewart
Delivery and Distribution Dewayne Engel Calendar/Social Media calendar@bartlesvillemonthly.com
Contributing Writers
Debbie Neece, Kay Little, Kelly Hurd Jay Hastings, Brent Taylor, Keith McPhail Jay Webster, Abigail SIngrey, Mike Tupa, Maria Gus Lori Just, Miriam Walker, Joe Todd, Mario Russo
Contributing Photographers Bartlesville Area History Museum, Mike Tupa Maria Gus, Mary Beth Babcock Oklahoma Tourism, Betsy Dutcher Bartlesville Photo Studio Brett Price, Debbie Neece, Grace McPhail
Kids Calendar
Jessica Smith
Take a look at the many great travel destinations here in Oklahoma. Our cover is the lighthouse at Lake Heffner in OKC.
Creative concept by Keith and Christy McPhail
Design by Engel Publishing
At Ignite Adams PARC, our team partners with renowned local providers to provide worldclass therapy treatments and technology to get our patients active and back to their lives as soon as possible. Specialty services and programs include treatment and recovery plans in Orthopedic Rehabilitation, Stroke Recovery, Cardiac Care, Pulmonary Rehab, Wound Care & Infection Management, Renal Disease and Palliative Care.
We are pleased to introduce the exceptionally trained and highly skilled team of medical professionals who provide a continuum of care for our guests as they transition from the acute hospital setting to Ignite Adams PARC for their post-acute rehabilitation. Our newest partnership with these providers will allow for Ignite Adams PARC to continue to be at the forefront of healthcare as this esteemed team provides daily and weekly support to our clinical and therapy team to guide our guests’ recovery and treatment plans.
by Lori Just
In the fall of 1988, Todd Nettleton stepped onto the campus of what was then Bartlesville Wesleyan College with a full academic scholarship, a suitcase full of dreams and a plan to one day write for Sports Illustrated. He was following in the footsteps of his parents and grandparents—both alumni of the college and its predecessor institutions—making him a thirdgeneration student at what would later become Oklahoma Wesleyan University.
He didn’t plan to stay in Oklahoma; it was only meant to be a four-year stopover on the way to a career in big-time journalism. But more than three decades later, Nettleton is still here, firmly rooted in a town that became home in ways he never expected.
“I originally came here for college,” he chuckled. “After graduation, my wife had one more year to finish her education. We agreed to stay for that, and one year turned into 33 years.”
For Nettleton, Bartlesville offered what Southern California didn’t—affordability, community and a quieter pace. He and his wife bought a house, raised two sons and found a place where small-town values were balanced with unexpected cultural gems, like a world-class community center and library.
Nettleton’s original dream of becoming a sportswriter wasn’t just a passing desire. After graduating in 1992 with a degree in communications, he spent a little over two years writing for the Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise. He covered high school games, university sports and even capped off his reporting career by covering the 1994 PGA Championship in Tulsa.
sportswriter. His next chapter began just a few blocks away— at his alma mater, where he worked in marketing and PR. But the most transformative shift came in 1998 when he joined The Voice of the Martyrs, a Christian nonprofit that supports persecuted believers around the world.
“I tell stories of persecuted Christians,” he said simply. “That’s the best way to sum up what I do.”
In the 27 years since, Nettleton has become a trusted voice for those whose stories often go untold. He’s written for the organization’s monthly magazine, co-authored books and hosts a weekly radio program and podcast that reaches more than 1,200 radio stations across the United States and listeners in nearly every country.
The radio show, launched in 2014, wasn’t part of some longterm strategy. It was an opportunity that came unexpectedly.
“I remember being amazed at how different it was from covering high school sports,” he said. “At the PGA, they had a transcriptionist in the press tent. Every player’s interview was printed and handed out. I thought, ‘This is so easy—they do all the work for you.’”
That was his last assignment as a
“One of our contacts offered us airtime, and my boss said, ‘We want to start a radio program. We want you to host it,’” he said. “It was a dream come true. I had always thought radio would be fun.”
Nettleton’s love for radio traces back to childhood when he listened to legendary announcer Vin Scully. The medium’s intimacy and emotional power stuck with him, and now it’s become one of his most effective platforms for ministry.
Each week, he interviews Christians from across the globe who’ve faced prison, exile, violence and discrimination because of their faith. His role, as he sees it, isn’t to dominate the conversation—it’s to get out of the way.
“I’m not the hero of the story,” he said. “I go and meet the heroes, and I help tell their stories. It’s not about me. It’s about challenging and inspiring American believers to a deeper walk with Christ.”
Behind each broadcast is a careful preparation process. Most guests have already been vetted by The Voice of the Martyrs’ international staff, who provide background information and context before the interview. Occasionally, though, he walks into the studio knowing little more than a name and a country.
“You learn to adapt,” he said. “Some people answer a question with three words, some talk for 40 minutes. But my job is to guide them to tell the story they’ve lived.”
That mission—to share stories of faith under fire—has become a calling deeply established in Nettleton’s own life experience. When he was 12, his parents became missionaries and moved the family from California to Papua New Guinea. It wasn’t a move he welcomed.
“I was the only no vote in the family,” he said. “I was about to start junior high, finally play sports. It felt like the worst possible time to leave.”
But he went, and the four years spent in a remote culture would change his life in ways he didn’t understand at the time. He learned what it meant to live in a foreign land, to adapt to new languages and customs and to love people who didn’t look or speak like him. Today, those skills help him navigate international interviews and connect with believers in war-torn countries or underground churches.
“Those seeds were planted in Papua New Guinea,” he said. “Even though it wasn’t a move I wanted, it prepared me for what I do now.”
His experiences eventually culminated in a book, When Faith is Forbidden: 40 Days on the Frontlines with Persecuted Christians, published in 2021. The concept was simple: take readers on a 40-day journey through real stories of persecuted believers.
“For years, people would say, ‘I wish I could go on a trip with you,’” Nettleton said. “The book is my answer. It’s a trip you can take from your own home.”
Writing the book wasn’t easy. He struggled with self-
discipline and finally enlisted a writing accountability partner to keep him on track. The COVID-19 pandemic, ironically, helped—working from home gave him time and focus to finalize the manuscript. Since then, The Voice of the Martyrs has distributed hundreds of thousands of copies.
Feedback has been powerful. Nettleton regularly receives letters and emails from readers and listeners who say the stories changed their perspective on faith and sacrifice.
“I got a letter recently from a 12-year-old named Zoe,” he said. “She said, ‘Your book changed my life.’ That’s the kind of thing you hold on to.”
When he’s not traveling or interviewing, Nettleton enjoys the slower pace of life in Bartlesville. He plays golf—not well, he admits with a laugh—but with enthusiasm. He also serves as commissioner of a long-running fantasy football league made up of college friends, dating back nearly 30 years to the days when he calculated stats by hand on paper.
While The Voice of the Martyrs remains a passionate part of his life, Nettleton is quick to point out it’s not the whole picture. At home, he cherishes his role as husband, father and now grandfather.
“I love being a grandpa,” he said with a smile. “People told me how great it was, and I thought they were exaggerating. They weren’t.”
He and his wife, Char, have two grown sons—one in Bartlesville and one in Owasso—and two daughters-in-law. Their 2½-year-old grandson is in Owasso, and a granddaughter is expected in August.
Still, for someone who once dreamed of writing sports columns, it’s fair to say Nettleton has found a different kind of front line—one where the stakes are eternal, and the stories he tells don’t just inform, they inspire.
With over 20 years of experience, BiosHealth is your state-licensed agency committed to providing exceptional caregiver and home care services.
by Maria Gus
This writer polled some of the best Oklahomans she could find to get some great ideas on state destinations. Here’s hoping you enjoy their suggestions (with a few others thrown in for good measure). Shout out to these fun Okie friends for sharing some secrets.
It’s almost summertime and the warm sun and breezy days are beckoning. Life is short and the days are waiting for adventure. No need to take off work for weeks at a time, this list of ten travel treasures in Oklahoma can scratch an itch without having to hop on a plane or travel cross country. If you’re looking to spread out the fun of summer, take a peek at these fun places all within a day’s drive. Whether it’s four hours to Broken Bow, five hours to Altus, or six hours to Guymon (give or take a few pit stops along the way), here’s some ideas to get your brain storming.
1. Road Trip Ready: Bartlesville to Lake Murray State Park
Craving an easy escape into nature? Pack your bags and hit the road from Bartlesville to Lake Murray State Park— Oklahoma’s oldest and largest state park, and a true hidden gem tucked near Ardmore in south-central Oklahoma. Just a few hours’ drive puts you in a whole new world of rolling hills, shady trees, and sparkling lake views. As you cruise down I-35, watch the scenery shift from open plains to rocky hillsides. Wildflowers along the roadside splash with color in spring and summer, making the journey almost as scenic as the destination. Once you reach Exit 24, you’re just minutes from adventure. Stop by the park office near Lake Murray Golf Course for maps and tips before heading out on the gorgeous 25-mile loop road that winds through the park. With over 12,500 acres of campsites, swim spots, and trails, Lake Murray State Park is the perfect place to ditch the city and dive into some serious outdoor fun. 580-223-4044 13528 Scenic Hwy 77 Ardmore, OK 73401 www.travelok.com
2. Stargazing & Summit Views at Black Mesa State Park
Ready to take your next adventure to new heights— literally? Head west to Oklahoma’s panhandle and discover the wild
beauty of Black Mesa State Park! Nestled near the tri-state border of Colorado and New Mexico, this park is unlike anywhere else in the state. A nature lover’s dream, the nearby Black Mesa Nature Preserve is home to rare plants, elusive animals, and landscapes where the Rocky Mountains meet the prairie. Hike to the top of the mesa for bragging rights at Oklahoma’s highest point—4,973 feet above sea level! Bring your binoculars, because this is prime territory for spotting golden eagles, bighorn sheep, and even the occasional bobcat or mountain lion. Once the sun sets, the magic really begins. Thanks to some of the darkest skies in the country, Black Mesa is a stargazer’s paradise, especially during August’s Perseid meteor shower. Whether you’re hiking, birding, or pitching a tent near Lake Carl Etling, Black Mesa is proof that Oklahoma’s best views might just be its most remote.
580-665-8396
11546 N Lake Rd Kenton, OK 73946 www.travelok.com
3. Big Wonders in a Small Space: Skeletons – The Museum of Osteology
Don’t let its size fool you— Skeletons: The Museum of Osteology in Oklahoma City is packed to the rafters with fascinating finds! This quirky little museum is all about bones—real ones—and it’s home to over 450 skeletons
from creatures big and small, from delicate hummingbirds to an enormous 40-foot humpback whale. Each exhibit is a hands-on journey into the hidden framework of life, offering curious minds a closer look at comparative anatomy, animal adaptations, human forensics, and more. It’s the kind of place where science meets wonder, perfect for families, students, or anyone who’s ever been intrigued by what lies beneath the surface. Whether you’re marveling at the sheer variety of species or learning how skeletons tell the story of movement, survival, and evolution, Skeletons proves that small museums can leave a huge impression.
405-814-0006
10301 S Sunnylane Rd Oklahoma City, OK 73160 https://www.skeletonmuseum.com/
4. Hidden Hillside Charm: PostOak Lodge & Retreat
Just a short drive from Bartlesville—less than an hour, in fact—PostOak Lodge & Retreat feels like a world away. Tucked
into the rolling, wooded hills of the Osage countryside, this peaceful hideaway offers the perfect blend of rustic charm and cozy comfort. With scenic views of Tulsa’s skyline and the surrounding Osage Hills, it’s the kind of place where time slows down and sunsets steal the show. Guests can relax in one of the spacious lodges—some with up to 18 bedrooms—complete with front porches, game rooms, and kitchenettes perfect for sipping sweet tea after a day of outdoor fun. Whether you’re hiking the trails, playing a casual game of horseshoes, or soaring through the trees on the PostOak zip line canopy tour, there’s something here for every pace of adventure. Quiet and tucked away, yet conveniently close, PostOak is a sweet surprise waiting to be discovered.
918-425-2112
5323 W 31st St North Tulsa, OK 74127
https://postoaklodge.com/
5. Follow the Music: Dancing Rabbit Music Festival in McAlester
If you’ve never partied with a rabbit, you’re missing out— especially if it’s the Dancing Rabbit Music Festival in downtown McAlester! What started as a small-town music bash has grown into a can’t-miss summer highlight where international headliners and local legends share the stage (and maybe a funnel cake). One friend described it best: “Spend a weekend in McAlester and suddenly you’re dancing to the Flobots in the street like it’s 2008 again.” With free concerts like the June 14th show—featuring Flobots (“Handlebars”), Mae, Jabee, and Joe Pug—and a star-studded July 19 lineup (hello, Marcy Playground and Augustana), it’s like your old playlists are throwing a party and you’re invited. Add in food trucks, local beer, shopping, and the sweet hum of summer in the air, and you’ve got a festival that punches way above its weight. Pro tip: VIP passes are available if you like your indie rock with a side of exclusive perks.
304 E Choctaw Ave
McAlester, OK 74501
https://dancingrabbit.live/
6. Make a Splash at OKANA & Soak in the Culture at Exhibit C
If you want to say “I went there before it was cool”, now’s your chance— OKANA Resort & Indoor Waterpark and Exhibit C in Oklahoma City are the it spots of the summer, and they’re just getting
started. The brand-new OKANA Resort is basically a vacation wrapped in glitter and adrenaline: think 11 stories, 404 rooms, and a 100,000-square-foot indoor waterpark that includes 15 thrilling slides, a lazy lagoon, and even a Zip & Dip zipline over the outdoor beach area. Kids will love the bunk suites and Splash Falls play zone, while grown-ups can sip cocktails at the OKASIS Swim-Up Bar, chill in a private cabana, or treat themselves at the spa. And when the water fun wraps up? Keep the energy high at OKANARAMA arcade or sample bites from tacos to tempura at the resort’s wide range of eateries.
But don’t miss the culture just down the road—Exhibit C in Bricktown is where the Chickasaw Nation’s vibrant artistry shines. This stylish boutique/art gallery hybrid features handmade jewelry, pottery, and paintings by Native artists alongside Oklahoma-made souvenirs (pro tip: grab some Bedré Chocolates for the ride home). Between the modern luxury of OKANA and the authentic creativity at Exhibit C, you’ve got a weekend that’s part splash, part soul—and 100% unforgettable.
OKANA Resort and Indoor Waterpark
800-547-3928
639 First Americans Blvd Oklahoma City, OK 73129
https://www.okanaresort.com/ Exhibit C Art Gallery 405-767-8900
1 E Sheridan Oklahoma City, OK 73104 https://exhibitcgallery.com/
If you’re craving a weekend that mixes adventure with a dash of the unexpected, head to Hugo, Oklahoma, where elephants and circus history collide in the most charming way. Start your journey at the Endangered Ark Foundation, home to the secondlargest herd of Asian elephants in the U.S. This unforgettable sanctuary lets you get up close and personal with gentle giants like Cameron Lee, Rosie, and Zola. Take a weekend tour to learn their incredible stories, snap an “Elephie Selfie,” and watch educational demonstrations that show just how much care goes into preserving these majestic creatures.
Then, trade the jungle for something just as wild—Showmen’s Rest at Mount Olivet Cemetery, where the magic of Hugo’s circus legacy lives on. Wander among elaborately decorated headstones that honor performers, clowns, and ringmasters who once called Hugo their winter home. You’ll also find the graves of rodeo legends like Lane Frost and Freckles Brown,
adding a dose of cowboy grit to your weekend of wonder. Hugo proves you don’t have to choose between thrills and history— you can have elephants and acrobats, all in one unforgettable stop.
Endangered Ark Foundation
580-317-8470
2657 E 2070 Rd
Hugo, OK 74743
https://www.endangeredarkfoundation.org/
Mount Olivet Cemetery
Trice & S 8th St Hugo, OK 74743
8. Imagination Awaits at Collings Castle
After you’ve cooled off in the famous Turner Falls and soaked up the sun, dry off and take a short hike up to one of Davis’s most unexpected gems—Collings Castle. Tucked beneath the
trees above the falls, this quirky stone ruin feels like something out of a storybook. Built in the 1930s as a private residence, the castle still holds echoes of its past, with maze-like rooms, steep staircases, and bunkhouses that invite your imagination to run wild. Peer through narrow parapet windows, tiptoe across worn stone paths, and picture life in a tiny mountaintop fortress with a fireplace once decorated in Oklahoma’s native rose rocks. While it may not be the biggest attraction in the area, Collings Castle is a fun and whimsical side quest—a perfect little detour while exploring the more famous landmarks of Turner Falls Park.
580-369-2988
Turner Falls Park Davis, OK 73030
https://www.turnerfallspark.com/
9. Breathe Deep at the Top of Mount Scott
If your soul needs a little peace and your brain needs a break from the hustle, Mount Scott is your perfect high-altitude hideaway. Perched on the edge of the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge, this scenic gem offers sweeping views of southwest Oklahoma that are guaranteed to quiet the noise in your head. A winding, three-mile paved road takes you to the summit—2,464 feet above sea level—where you can park, stretch your legs, and take in a panorama that feels like the world hitting pause. Whether you’re into rock hopping, quiet hikes, or just sitting with a camera and a view, Mount Scott delivers the kind of cozy, soul-cleansing escape that makes everything feel a little more manageable. Pro tip: hikers get exclusive access on weekend mornings, so lace up early and enjoy the mountain at its most serene.
580-429-3222
Inside Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge Lawton, OK 73552
https://www.fws.gov/refuge/wichita-mountains
10. Catch the Action with the Blackwell Flycatchers
If your idea of summer fun includes peanuts, home runs, and a little small-town magic, then make your way to Blackwell, home of the Blackwell Flycatchers—Oklahoma’s team in the famously offbeat Pecos League. This independent league brings big-league heart without the big-league prices. With no designated hitters, pitchers swinging for the fences, and solid-color uniforms that pop, every game is a throwback thrill ride. The Flycatchers take the field with a roster full of up-andcomers, gritty veterans, and baseball dreamers from around the world. Expect high scores, high drama, and the kind of community spirit that makes you proud to stand and sing during the seventh-inning stretch. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just here for the nachos and good vibes, a night at a Flycatchers game is a home run for summer fun.
Morgan Field
800 South Main Street
Blackwell, OK 74631
https://www.blackwellflycatchers.com/
As if our list wasn’t packed enough, Oklahoma still has plenty of surprises tucked around every corner. In Chickasha, you’ll find a truly “fragile” (read: frah-gee-lay) masterpiece—a 50-foot-tall leg lamp sculpture inspired by the one from A Christmas Story. Standing proudly year-round on a wooden crate just like in the movie, this quirky tribute makes for a hilarious photo op and a perfect stop for fans of holiday nostalgia any time of year.
In the Oklahoma Panhandle, the Guymon Fiesta brings music, dancing, food, and tradition to life as the community honors its rich Hispanic heritage. Held downtown at Fifth and Main, this family-friendly celebration features games, live entertainment, and the crowning of the Fiesta King and Queen with scholarships awarded in their honor. It’s a joyful reminder that Oklahoma’s roots are as diverse as they are deep.
And if you’re looking for something a little rowdier, saddle up for the Great Plains Stampede Rodeo in Altus. This threeday PRCA-sanctioned event serves up all the rodeo action you can handle—bull riding, barrel racing, steer wrestling, bronc bustin’, and more—plus a grand parade on Saturday. Toss in a few rodeo clowns and some good ol’ cowboy grit, and you’ve got a weekend of thrills, spills, and unbeatable Oklahoma fun.
From towering leg lamps to twirling rodeo ropes, these honorable mentions prove that adventure and oddities are never far away.
Contact information: Chickasha Leg Lamp
405-224-0787
101 Chickasha Ave Chickasha, OK 73018
5th & Main St Guymon, OK 73942
Phone: 580-338-6246
https://www.mainstreetguymon.com/fiesta/ Great Plains Stampede Rodeo Arena
201 S Veterans Altus, OK 73521
Phone: 580-471-8832
Phone: 580-301-0892
Special thanks to some incredible Oklahomans for weighing in on this piece. No matter what your friends and family plan this summer, here’s to relaxing, recharging, and getting ready for a beautiful getaway! Nelson; door gunners, Staff Sergeant Jerry Wayne Hendrix and Corporal Kenneth Lloyd Crody; and combat photographer, Lance Corporal Stephen G. Lively.
by Kay Little, Little History Adventures
Most of us grew up getting excited when we heard the ice cream truck, begging Mom for money to buy a treat. Even better was when we made homemade ice cream for July 4th celebrations. But do you know when ice cream was invented? According to one legend, it was invented by the Chinese hundreds of years ago. Others say in 4000BC along the Euphrates River when nobles built icehouses during the summer heat. Another source says it was invented in Europe during the early 1600s. Whoever invented it, we are all grateful.
The European colonists brought it when they settled in the New World. George Washington bought a mechanical ice cream maker in 1784. Thomas Jefferson served ice cream while President. The ice cream cone was popularized in the U.S. at the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis.
During the 1920-1933 Prohibition, many places that had served alcohol became ice cream parlors. Unfortunately, many of them were places for prostitution, which is why early day schoolmarms were not allowed to go to ice cream parlors.
Beginning in 1877, ice cream was introduced in Bartlesville by our founder, Jake Bartles. He would hold a large July 4th celebration in his park, which is now part of Johnstone Park. Hundreds of people would attend these parties. There was music, tents, the first use of electricity (which Jake installed with a dynamo generator), and 700 gallons of ice cream.
Bartlesville loves ice cream, as evidenced by all the ice cream businesses throughout the years. Move ahead to 1903 when H.H. McClintock built the Crystal Ice and Cold Storage Company of Bartlesville. They began by selling ice, then sold milk and ice cream as Glencliff, 1941-1949. In 1950, it became Top Hand Crystal Creamery.
Other ice cream stores throughout the years have been the 1908-1919 Bartlesville Ice Cream Company, located at 1st and Cherokee, the 1906 Millers Candy Kitchen featuring ice cream, located in the 1903 F.W. Weeks building on 2nd Street. Dairy
Queen, Waukesha, Meadow Gold, Baskin-Robbins, Braum’s and now the Creamery again. These are just a few we have had through the years. Probably the most popular ice cream location was Zesto’s, located on 3rd Street, later called Frank Phillips Blvd. Zesto means zeal, which many people had for the drive-in. For many years, Bartians thought it was totally a local company, until someone saw another Zesto’s while traveling in another state. Jack and Fern Perry owned our Zesto’s for many years.
Several Bartians I have talked to said when they were teens, they would drag Main by traveling from one end of Frank Phillips to the other, stopping at Zesto’s. As my late cousin, Noel Weeks, said, “Cruising Frank Phillips and hangin’ at the Zesto! Those were the days!”
Another Bartian, Rob Lindslys, was quoted as saying, “Zesto epitomized those early days. That was entertainment back then.” I know many Bartians wish we still had the Zesto’s.
For more information about local restaurants, gone but not forgotten, you can visit the exhibit, “Our Culinary Past,” at the Bartlesville Area History Museum. Don’t wait too long, though. The exhibit will end July 7th.
The Frozen Storybook Collection (OKM Kids)
2 3 4 8 2-6 5 6 8
1PM; Bartlesville Library
The Three Vikings (OKM Kids)
3PM; Bartlesville Library
Vole and Troll (OKM Kids)
10AM: Bartlesville Library
The Story Orchestra: In the Hall of Mountain King (OKM Kids)
2PM; Bartlesville Library
Twinkle Big Stars (OKM Kids)
6PM; Ambler Hall
Ringos Sing Along (OKM Kids)
9:30 & 11AM; Ambler Hall How to Snag a Sea Monster (OKM Kids)
2PM; Ambler Hall
Jammin with Trols (DJ + Dance Party)
7PM; Ambler Hall
Mainstage Festival Woolaroc Concert 6PM; Woolaroc
34th Annual Dewey Antique Show
8AM; Washington County Fiargrounds
Keyboard Orchestra (OKM Kids)
2PM; Unity Square
Robotics Camp 8AM; Central Middle School
Price Tower Exterior and The Center Tour 2PM; Price Tower
Farmers Market
8AM; Downtown Bartlesville
Woolaroc Animal Barn 10AM; Woolaroc
Phillip Petroleum Museum Open 10AM; Phillips Museum
Basketball Camp
Who: Girls & Boys 4-10 9AM; OKWU Gym (June 1-4)
Cost: $79.50
Soccer Development Camp
Who: Girls & Boys 5-12 9AM; OKWU Soccer Field (June 2-4)
Cost: $95.50
Volleyball Skills Camp
9:00am-11:00am (3rd-5th grade)
1:00pm-3:00pm (6th-8th grade) OKWU Gym
Cost: $85 (Both Camps June 3&4)
Soccer Residential Boys & Girls ID Team Camp
9:00am-11:00am Who: Girls & Boys 10-18 OKWU Soccer Field
Overnight Cost: $397.50
Commuter Cost: 302.50 (Both Camps June 8-11)
Diaper Dandy Basketball Camp
9:00am-11:00am Who: Girls & Boys 4-10 OKWU Gym June 16-18) Cost: $879.50 per Player (June 16-18)
Kids Baseball Camp I 9:00am-11:00am Who: Girls & Boys 6-12 OKWU Baseball Field
Cost: $85 per Player (June 16-18)
Know
Every Monday
5:00 p.m. – 6:00 p.m.
FREE Beginning Spanish Class
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue
Every Monday
6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.
FREE Intermediate Spanish Class Bartlesville Public Library 600 S. Johnstone Avenue
May 1–July 7
8 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Bartlesville Area History Museum Presents “Our Culinary Past” BAHM, 401 S. Johnstone Avenue, Bartlesville
Every Tuesday
2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Price Tower Exterior and The Center Tour
Every Tuesday
5:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.
Bartlesville Public Library ELL
Conversation Class
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue, Literacy Office
Every Tuesday through Saturday
6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
Bartlesville Kiddie Park Open for summer season
Kiddie Park, 205 N. Cherokee Avenue, Bartlesville
Every Tuesday
6:45 p.m. – 7:45 p.m.
Bartlesville Public Library ELL
Conversation Class Casa Hispana, 3850 Frank Phillips Blvd., Bartlesville
Every Wednesday
6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. and
Every Thursday
10:00 a.m. – 11:00 a.m.
FREE Citizenship Classes
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue
Every Thursday
7:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.
Crossing 2nd Trivia in the Garage Crossing Second, 215 E 2nd Street, Bartlesville
Every Thursday
11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Bartlesville Public Library ELL Conversation Class
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue, Literacy Office
Every Friday
9:00 a.m. – 10:00 a.m.
Tai Chi with Dixie at Unity Square Tower Center at Unity Square, 300 SE Adams Blvd, Bartlesville
Every Saturday
8:00 a.m. – 11:30 p.m.
Bartlesville Area Farmers Market Frank Phillips Park
Every Saturday
11:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Price Tower Exterior and The Center Tour
Every Saturday
8:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.
History and Haunts at the Dewey Hotel
Contact Dewey Hotel Museum, 801 N Delaware St., Dewey
Every Saturday & Sunday
8:00 p.m. – 12:00 a.m.
Crossing Second Karaoke Dance Party Crossing 2nd, 215 E. 2nd Street
June 1-June 8
Check for Times
OKMusic’s “Especially for Kids Festival”
OKM Music, Inc., 415 S. Dewey Avenue, Bartlesville
June 1-June 29
Woolaroc’s Son of the West Exhibition
Woolaroc Museum and Wildlife Preserve
1 – June 7
9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m.
Disney’s Frozen KIDS Camp #1 –June
Children’s Musical Theatre, 101 S Wyandotte Ave, Bartlesville
Sun, June 1
Check for Times
Bartlesville Sunfest
Sooner Park, Madison Blvd South of Tuxedo Blvd., Bartlesville
Tues, June 3
6:00 p.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Johnstone Irregulars Book Club
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S Johnstone Ave., Bartlesville
7:30 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.
Make It So: Speculative Fiction Book Club
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue, Room B
Thurs-Sat June 5-7
8 a.m. - 4 p.m.
Tuxedo Church Garage Sale
Tuxedo Church, 3503 Tuxedo Blvd, Bartlesville
Fri, June 6
6:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.
OKM Music Festival – Woolaroc Under the Stars
Woolaroc, 1925 Woolaroc Ranch Road, Bartlesville
Fri-Sun, June 6-8
Check for Times
OKMozart 2025 Showcase Series
OKM Music Inc, 205 SW Frank Phillips Blvd, Bartlesville
Sat, June 7
8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
34th Annual Dewey Antique Show
Washington County Fairgrounds, 1109 N Delaware St., Dewey
10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church Craft Fair
Good Shepherd Church, 801 SE Washington Blvd./Highway 75
Sat-Sun, June 7-8
11:00 a.m. – 7:00 p.m.
Time Travelers Indoor Market
Washington Park Mall, 2350 SE Washington Blvd
Mon-Thurs, June 9-12
9:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
Magnified! Vacation Bible School Redeemer Lutheran Church, 3700 Woodland Road
Tues, June 10
2p.m.–4p.m. & 6p.m.–8p.m. Bartlesville Public Library Adult Craft Class
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue, Meeting Room C
Fri, June 13
6:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
Murder Mystery Dinner at NinteenOEight
Nineteen0Eight, 311½ S. Dewey Avenue, Bartlesville
7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
Sizzlin’ Summer Series Concerts & Movie Nights
Unity Square, 300 SE Adams Blvd,
8:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m.
Let It Ride at Crossing 2nd Crossing 2nd, 215 E. 2nd Street,
Sat, June 14
All Day
Visit Dewey Second Saturday
Downtown Dewey Boutique and Antique Merchants
10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Bartlesville & Beyond Boutique
Marketplace
Tuxedo Lions Club Community Center, 2900 Tuxedo Blvd.
Tues, June 17
6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
Bartlesville Public Library 10 Things to Consider
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue, Meeting Room C
Thurs, June 19
12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Fast, Fresh & Fabulous with Chef Hilary
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S Johnstone Ave.
Sat, June 21
10:00 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
Monthly Lego Club at the Library
Bartlesville Public Library, 600 S. Johnstone Avenue
7:30 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.
COMEDY Night at Nineteen0Eight NineteenOEight, 311½ S. Dewey Avenue, Bartlesville
by Mario Russo
First and foremost, I want to give thanks.
I want to give thanks to God for all things—for another day of life, another opportunity to love your family, to love your friends, to love people.
It’s a chance to show love to a stranger.
It’s an opportunity to show love and kindness to a stranger—an opportunity to be polite and respectful to other human beings who are on this earth at the same time as you.
In this wicked world, it’s an opportunity to be a light—a bright light shining as the light of Jesus, our Lord.
It’s an opportunity to help a child or open the door for an elderly person. It’s an opportunity to be courteous and considerate.
I am so thankful for this blessing of life. But most of all, it’s an opportunity to study God’s Word.
There is power on another level in this life that comes directly through understanding God’s Word through divine wisdom from above.
You will operate, navigate, and walk through this life much wiser, healthier, more powerful, and much more effective, as a direct result of knowing God’s Word.
God’s Word is the ultimate and final say-so and authority in my life. I live by this rule.
The Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it. Period.
Hebrews 4:12 says:
“For the Word of God is alive and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…”
My purpose in this life is as an ambassador for Jesus Christ and a major advocate for a deeper study of His Word.
I have been sent out to “raise the brethren”—to teach, study, and equip God’s people so they can not only withstand the wiles of the devil, but take authority over him and his cohorts.
I see the damage he is doing at a high rate.
People are suffering and dying due to a lack of knowledge—perishing unsaved.
Hosea 4:6 says:
“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.”
With lack of knowledge comes confusion, mental illness, sickness, violence, drugs, addiction, pain, sin, death, and more.
But with the knowledge of Life, which is Jesus Christ, which is the Word, His natural effect is peace, love, joy, calm, health, mercy, compassion, power, and a sound mind.
I like to prove all things with His Word.
Proverbs 4:20 says:
“My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.”
I do not care what your circumstances may be—God is more powerful than your circumstances.
Luke 1:37 says,
“For with God nothing shall be impossible.”
I know this to be absolutely true 100 times over. Jesus saved me. He did it through His Word and through people. He did this through what looked like absolutely hopeless situations and circumstances.
Isaiah 55:8 says,
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” says the Lord.
You don’t need to know how He is going to do it. You can’t even fathom how He will overcome your circumstances.
Just trust and believe. Through faith, He will.
Lastly, dedicate your life to Christ through regular prayer, study, and meditation.
Put Him first above all things.
Take the focus off of your own circumstance, and start serving others—and watch how your “stuff” just goes away.
That serious issue that has plagued you and your family for years… the things that were dragging you to death…are simply gone through the power of Christ.
He is life. He is power.
He is health.
God bless you all.
by Debbie Neece
In Washington County, the Moore Ranch is easily recognized as the home of Marilyn Moore Tate, the late Kenneth Tate and their life’s work, Prairie Song, I.T. However, interestingly, the Moore family roots were planted about 1884 when John Boyd Moore settled in Indian Territory on Wolf Creek, about six miles northwest of Delaware, I.T. Of his nine children, six made the trek to land that would later become Oklahoma. Three sons, Sam, James and William “Sherman” Moore settled on the Delaware farm.
Sherman worked as a line rider for the Cherokee Cattleman’s Association; then, as a foreman for Jim Todd, a West Texas cattle baron, before establishing the Horseshoe-L Ranch in 1897. His holdings eventually encompassed nearly 50,000 acres, with the largest pasture in northeast Oklahoma.
Sherman Moore married Cherokee maiden Mary Emma Scudder, in 1898, and they made their home at the Moore Ranch
in Dewey. Three children joined their union: Marie Pearl (18991961), Sherman “Monsieur” (1903-1994) and Clarke Scudder Moore (1906-1970); all Cherokee Nation born. Sherman became a well-known rancher and cattleman. In 1938, he died at his home, 10 miles east of Dewey, in the shadow of the Blue Mound. At that time, his sons inherited the ranch with Monsieur operating the western half of the ranch and Clarke operating the eastern half.
Clarke Scudder Moore was a sun up to sun down type of man. He was a prominent cattleman and widely admired northeastern Oklahoma rancher. He and Miss Eva Lucille Rider were married “at high noon” on January 16, 1932 and they resided on the Dewey Moore Ranch until moving to Nowata. Two sons joined their union: Sherman Craig (1936-1940), Conroy “Connie” Moore (1939-2025).
Clarke was highly involved in the Oklahoma Cattlemen’s Association, American National Cattlemen’s Association, Southwestern Texas Livestock Association, American Certified Appraisers. Indian Territory Pioneer Association and more. The I.T.P.A. represented pioneers who arrived in Indian Territory before 1898. In 1932, amid a “mini-blizzard,” Bartlesville celebrated Oklahoma’s 25th statehood anniversary with a campfire scene/ play at the Bartlesville Civic Center. When the curtain rose, 30 members of the I.T.P.A. were seated and told of the history they had witnessed since statehood. Among the participants were Sherman Moore with Clarke and Eva Moore.
As often reported in the Nowata Daily Star, Clarke Moore was seen “out and about” starting his morning with an early cup of
coffee or flashing his infectious grin while sharing a sidewalk conversation in downtown Nowata. In 1935, he was appointed Deputy Oil Inspector of Nowata County, purposed with enforcing the laws applying to bootleg gasoline and oil. Beef cattle ranching and farming boiled in his veins and, in 1947, he served on the Bluestem Cattlemen’s Association board of directors.
In 1956, a group of 29 Oklahomans, representing American agricultural and livestock interests, traveled to Russia for a threeweek tour. With passport in hand, Clarke Moore was among the travelers who strolled around Leningrad wearing Western boots and wide-brimmed cowboy hats. Moore operated the MashedO-Dot Ranch in the northeast corner of Nowata County so this was normal attire for him; however, this took Russian spectators by surprise. The tour was sponsored by the Oklahoma Publishing Company, WKY Radio and the Daily Oklahoman. Clarke and 11 others, extended their farming and ranching tours to include Denmark, Germany, Holland, France, Sweden and England. Upon returning home, Clarke took every opportunity to share his experiences with local groups.
Clarke was portraited on the cover of the Purina Checkerboard Service magazine as the “Top Hand in the Cattle Industry” for his exceptional work at the 6,000-acre, Mashed-O-Dot Ranch with pastures of waving Bluestem grass.
September 1970, Clarke Scudder Moore took his last breath at his Nowata County ranch home and rode off into the Bluestem sunset.
With every ounce of Washington and Nowata County respect on full display, his funeral cortege from Nowata’s First United Methodist Church to Bartlesville’s Memorial Park Cemetery was ceremoniously escorted by the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, Nowata and Bartlesville Police Departments. His son, Connie Moore,
took over the ranching reins.
Connie had studied animal husbandry at OSU, planning to follow in his father’s ranching footsteps. He and Iva Mae Fuller were married March 23, 1959 at the Nowata County Clarke Moore home. Two daughters joined their union: Nancy and Julie.
In 2018 Connie was recognized by the Cherokee Nation Principal Chief Bill John Baker for his military service. Connie enlisted in the U.S. Army September 1958 and trained as a track vehicle mechanic specialist. He received multiple commendations while serving in Germany and was honorably discharged July 1961.
Connie had an enormous sense of humor, and a passion for classic cars and drag racing.
He was also a Wild Horse contractor for the Bureau of Land Management. Iva Mae was a champion seamstress and creative crafter, active in Oklahoma Homemakers Education Club and as a 4-H volunteer and leader.
After sharing 66 years of marriage with the love of his life, Connie Moore passed the ranching torch to yet another generation on April 29, 2025. In the words of Connie’s friend, Corbett Mason, “Clarke Moore was an astute businessman. His wife, Eva had moral standards far above most of us walking around and I often called her my second mother. Connie’s love for his children and grandchildren was instilled in him by this loving caring woman, and knew no bounds. He was an astute and honorable businessman who had firm beliefs in right and wrong. When he signed an oil contract, he upheld the contract to the letter.” He will be missed.
Rest in peace Mr. Connie Moore, the next generation of Moore family ranchers are prepared to carry forward.
Operated by the multi-generational Moore family ranchers, in 1999, the Connie Moore Ranch of Nowata County and the Moore Ranch of Washington County, operated by Marilyn Moore-Tate, were awarded the Oklahoma Centennial Farm & Ranch Award. Additionally, in 2010, the Connie Moore Ranch was also recognized on the National Register of Historic Places in Oklahoma, joining five other registered Nowata County listings. Both awards were presented by the State Historic Preservation Office of the Oklahoma Historical Society. Now You Know *
WALK A MILE IN HER SHOES
by Clay Cooper
“Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead, and I will measure with mathematical exactness, the tender mercy of its people, their respect for the law of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals.”
William Gladstone- 19th Century United Kingdom Prime Minister.
Perhaps this quote actually suggests that the way we treat those who have died, more specifically, how our nation treats those who have died, is a direct reflection of its overall moral character. A nation that turns its back on their dead, especially those who have served and then died while serving this nation, should recalibrate its moral compass.
To be certain, this story is not about the very recent scrubbing and deleting of information and details on certain websites, of those deceased individuals who have served our country and even played in our baseball games. No. The timing of this story is coincidental and nothing more. And to quote the incomparable Alanis Morissette,
“Isn’t it ironic…”
My spotlight article has brought me to a subject that I have never written about in detail. Death, in a figurative sense, can take on many facets if you will. It’s often the death of ideas, relationships, or seasons in life, that have the potential to steal our literal life. If we’re not careful in our response to the disappointments that show up seemingly out of the blue and when we least expect it, sure, we can be alive, but are we truly living?
Now look, you’ve gotten me all off track.
I met Clay Hooper in the Bartlesville Public Library, on a stormy night in May. And yes, we were talking about death; sort of.
Although a resident of Bartlesville for only two years, Clay knows more about our city’s deceased population than probably anyone else who resides here. At 67 years young, Clay discovered a need here in Bartlesville, and he filled it.
Enter Ashlyn Deason, our city’s own Cemetery Relations Coordinator. She has been in her role now for three years, and her office resides in the Local Family History Department in the Bartlesville Public Library. She has been a resident of this area her entire life, but just recently met Clay Hooper. You see, he was looking for a place to be buried; sort of.
Like I said, I’ve not written a lot about death, and I know even less about the plots, blocks, and lots that make up a cemetary. When it comes to mausoleums, my knowledge begins and ends with an episode of General Hospital. Tracy Quartermaine went to “talk to” her parents and her deceased husband in the family’s mausoleum. Edward, Lila, and deceased husband Alan Quartermaine, were all sealed inside the family crypts. (I know, I know. My mother hooked me to GH from a very early age.)
And that is how Clay Hooper and Ashlyn Deason met. Clay wanted a crypt inside the White Rose Cemetery Mausoleum for himself, Ashlyn presented the maps of the White Rose Cemetery layout, and together they began to search for a final resting place for Clay.
The current maps were workable. Although primitive and a bit basic, they could tell what spots were available, which ones were sold, and which lots were already occupied. The biggest drawback was the time it took to navigate what they were looking
at. With Ashlyn’s help, Clay Hooper did in fact find what he was looking for. In his search though, he also found a way to serve his community.
“I am passionate about making our town better; better than how I left it.”
Clay offered his services to create a new set of maps for the White Rose Cemetery
As a former nurse now enjoying his retirement, Clay Hooper was no mapmaker, but I couldn’t tell! I looked at the maps and even now I remain in awe. They were created by walking out every square inch of the area, much of it not even including headstones or gravemarkers. I could tell that Clay had gotten very busy in his retirement. The names went on and on, some dating back as far as 1899. There is an entire area just for babies that have passed away.
The Spanish Flu came and went, and not even Bartlesville was exempt from its wrath. The year 1918 was particularly grim, and many who died from the epidemic were buried in White Rose Cemetery.
Equally unsettling to me, were the number of spaces included in each lot, that had no names whatsoever. Although the term “paupers grave” is no longer used today, the act of burying the unknown and those who have no money or family to lay them to rest, takes place in every city in America.
The mausoleum was built in 1921, and Clay created new maps for that as well.
An active contributor to Find a Grave.com, Clay uses this platform to help other people find their loved ones, and it was helpful in the creation of the maps. Created were 17 maps, all of them measuring 3 feet by 4 feet, divided into blocks, then into lots, and there are 12 spaces per lot. Clay’s work speaks volumes to what it means to find a need and then fill it. He shares,
“These maps help locate where our loved ones in Bartlesville are buried, it helps preserve our history, and it offers closure for those who need it.”
Ashlyn Deason has appreciated Clay’s work immensely, and it’s made her job in helping those grieving the loss of a loved one a bit easier to navigate.
“Clay’s maps have sped up the process of finding a space for our Bartlesville neighbors and their loved ones.”
Death is hard enough as it is, without adding the stress of navigating a cemetery during these final stages of a life. When asked how she came to be in this unique position of finding resting places for our friends and family members, she explains it like this,
“It’s not what I thought I’d be doing, but it does feel good to help, and maybe it is a calling. There have been many times when God has put me where I need to be, and I feel that this is one of those times.”
The city thanks both Ashlyn and Clay, for taking the time and the effort to make our city better than we found it.
What’s next for our retired neighbor and resident mapmaker Clay Hooper? Funny you should ask. We spoke a little bit about that, Clay and I, and it seems that there is another area, just to the left of…
To be continued.
by Abigail Singrey
The Torrey Place Apartments may look like any other modest brick complex, with their simple shrubbery and plain sidewalk— easily overlooked among thousands like them across the country. But to Fran Salih, they’re far more than that— they’re the heart of her legacy. The subsidized apartments for disabled adults in Bartlesville exist because Salih saw a need and decided to do whatever she could to meet it.
Salih, 97, is now retired from the advocacy work that shaped her later years. A native Oklahoman born in Depew, her family soon moved to Solomon, Kansas. She met her husband, Carl, in California, and they married at the Chapel of the Roses in Pasadena in 1953. Salih was a stay-at-home mom to their three children, Judy, Dale and Wayne, until Carl’s early retirement from the Los Angeles County Fire Department due to a disability. Seeking a slower pace, they relocated to Bartlesville in 1978 after visiting family there.
Her connection to the Torrey Place apartments is deeply personal. Her son Dale had joined the Navy and was struggling. Before his discharge, his commander reached out to the Salihs with a warning: Dale might have warning signs of schizophrenia. When Dale returned home, he could get a job, but he couldn’t keep a job, Salih said. It was a startling development for his parents.
“We didn’t know anything about (schizophrenia),” Salih said. Dale was eventually diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, and Salih and her husband began a journey of finding resources to help him. As the secretary for Good Shepherd Church, Salih was at work one day when she saw a notice for a support group on the church bulletin board. Salih began attending, meeting other parents who had similar struggles and stories. Salih wanted there to be somewhere for these adults to live, where they could
have help but retain a measure of independence. But she couldn’t find anything like that in the Bartlesville area.
Salih filled out a grant application with the state to create housing, but it originally was denied. Then, someone connected her with a resourcea man who had experience with these applications. They worked together on the next draft, and it was approved.
Next, Salih needed to find a location for her proposed apartments. She and her husband visited Jefferson School, a former elementary school that had closed nearly a decade earlier. The land seemed like the perfect site, so they purchased the property and had the school razed in 1994. Over the next two years, construction was underway. The details of the project have faded for Salih, but not the feeling she had once it was completed.
The name of the Torrey Place Apartments was inspired by Dr. E. Fuller Torrey, author of the book “Out of the Shadows: Confronting America’s Mental Illness Crisis,” and an advocate for reforming state laws to make it possible to treat mental illness before it resulted in homelessness, incarceration or the person becoming a danger to themselves and others. He had been an inspiration for many in the Bartlesville support group. For the grand opening of the facility, he traveled to Bartlesville to speak. It was an emotional moment for Salih.
“Dale was my motivation. My son was one of the first residents,” Salih said. “ . . . He seemed happy there.”
Dale lived in one of the twenty apartments from 1996 to 2014, when his needs progressed to need more advanced care. He passed away from cancer in 2024.
For Salih, the success of the project can be summed up in one sentence: “(The apartments are) still there.”
by Kelly Hurd
Vulnerable
Enough to be Approachable ~Witty Enough to be Unpredictable ~ Personable Enough to be Enjoyable
There’s something to be said for vulnerability. We tend to want to avoid it like the plague, but when we decide to embrace it, amazing things can happen in our lives…
Take John Hurd for instance. He’s a man who has told me more than once he’s comfortable in his masculinity – enough so that he doesn’t feel the need to be tough and gruff to prove it.
Confidence is an incredibly attractive quality in my opinion.
That being said, Mr. John Hurd has decided to embrace a little vulnerability and step up to the mic and get it said – the podcast mic, that is, with his very own podcast titled “Hurd Mentality.”
Yes, we’d played around with a podcast we called “Coffee with John & Kelly” when we were dating – but this is different. This time, John is hosting and interviewing cattlemen and ranchers – listening to and recording their stories – and by doing so he’s also striving to actively preserve the way of life in which he was raised.
His first guest was Mr. Phil Pattillo, cowboy and wellknown spur maker from Skiatook. Joined by Chad Meyer as co-host on this first episode, the three of them had me laughing while running the sound board as Phil took them through back pastures and bull wrecks from days gone by.
I was amazed at the icons in the ranching industry whose paths had crossed Phil’s during his lifetime. He’d even met
some of the legends from way down Texas way that were part of my world once upon a time, long, long ago.
But back to that vulnerable masculinity - one of the things that first drew me to John was his voice. I could just listen to him talk all day long. His voice is western. It’s masculine. It’s smooth and easy –and it’s kind. He’s also nine kinds of witty and maybe even just a tick on the ‘onery side – which makes conversation with him anything but boring. I think what he brings to the table is perfect for listening to on a podcast – as a keynote speaker – or as a cowboy poet. Yes, he writes a little cowboy poetry too…
You know, if you ask me – I think confident masculinity paired with bold vulnerability is the definition of one thing –bravery. Brave enough to step up to the plate and swing the bat. Brave enough to face the crowd. Brave enough to swing for the fences. Brave enough to buck public opinion and live authentically.
So, if you love cowboy culture and Osage County, you just might want to pull up a little “Hurd Mentality” out there on all the major podcast platforms like Spotify, Apple, and even Amazon Music.
Who knows, maybe by listening in you might just walk away a little braver, a little wiser, a little kinder, and a little more savvy about the cowboy life that’s abundant and flourishing over here in the Osage!
Thanks for going “On the Road” with me this month. Hope you enjoyed a little “Hurd Mentality” – Kelly style!
“I became an Edward Jones financial advisor to help the people in my community feel confident in their financial lives and secure about their future,” Parr said. “It’s challenging but fulfilling work, and now to receive this kind of statewide recognition is a highlight in my career. I thank my branch team for their unwavering support and our clients for putting their trust in us. My priority is to work one-on-one with our clients to make a positive difference in their lives,” Parr said. “It’s a wonderful source of pride to be recognized by Forbes for the specific aspects of our work that they measure.”
To compile the rankings, SHOOK® Research analysts conducted individual interviews with nominees. Criteria that determined the final list included industry experience, best practices, compliance records and assets under care.
Edward Jones is a leading North American financial services firm with more than 20,000 financial advisors. The firm serves more than 9 million clients with a total of $2.2 trillion in client assets under care as of Dec. 31, 2024. Edward Jones’ purpose is to partner for positive impact to improve the lives of its clients and colleagues, and together, better our communities and society. Through the dedication of the firm’s approximately 55,000 associates and our branch presence in 68% of U.S. counties and most Canadian provinces and territories, the firm is committed to helping more people achieve financially what is most important to them. The Edward Jones website is at www.edwardjones.com, and its recruiting website is www.careers.edwardjones.com. Member SIPC.
by Mike Jerry Tupa
Sometimes a tiny twist of fate can create a destiny.
For Lorrie Bertolet it started with a cartwheel.
Bertolet one day noticed her friend Meredith (later Meredith Fraser) doing cartwheels in her yard.
“I asked, ‘What are you doing,’” Bertolet recalled. “She said she was doing gymnastics.”
Bertolet asked Fraser to show her how to do a cartwheel.
“She said if you want to learn to do a cartwheel you’ll have to join the Phillips gymnastics.”
The year was 1967. Bertolet became a gymnast..
Fifty-eight years later she is stepping down as the Bartlesville Gymnastics Club Executive Director/Head Coach.
Bertolet’s spent approximately 53 of those years as either a gymnast, coach, club executive and — since 2014 — its leader.
Her impact on local gymnastics and on those girls that have come into her sphere of influence is incalculable.
“We have been blessed to have her as our daughter’s coach for the past 12 years,” said Carissa Pierce. “Lorrie’s retirement will signify the end of an era.\.”
Agreeing with Pierce is Stephanie Lief, who serves as the Bartlesville Gymnastics Board President and has been long associated with the club — known first as the Phillips 66 Gymnastics Club and later as the Bartlesville Gymnastics Club.
“I don’t she realizes how her presence and influence has been felt not only in Bartlesville but throughout the state of Oklahoma in gymnastics and probably beyond to a national level,” Lief said. “I hear the coaches from other clubs talk about her.”
Lief added that her own daughter’s “competitive spirit and drive really flourished,” during Bertolet’s mentorship. “Lorrie has been a tremendous partner with my family and influence on my daughter’s life to help shape who she is today.”
“Lorrie means the world to me and my family,” said Rachel Coyle, a club coach and longtime gymnastics mom. “Her love and support for both me and my daughter has been nothing short of amazing. Lorrie shows a deep, unwavering passion that touches every part of my life.”
As a young woman, Bertolet didn’t intend to work in gymnastics. She studied to be a school teacher.
After graduation in 1984, Bertolet coached part-time at the club until she got a job.
In 1985, a school in the Oklahoma City area hired her. She secured an apartment and prepared to leave Bartlesville. But local gymnastics director Sam Barto offered Bertolet a fulltime coaching job — at the same pay — to stay with the club.
“My dad said to me, ‘If you do that you’ll have a crappy schedule the rest of your life,” recalled Bertolet, who decided to take Barto’s offer.
She learned by experience the truth of her dad’s foresight. Most work days have lasted 11 to 12 hours — not counting countless weekends the past 40 years spent coaching at meets from California to the east coast to many points in-between.
Bertolet cut back after the birth of her first child, Andrew Lathrop. But she returned full-time. In 1994 she assumed more executive functions as well as coaching.
(Andrew currently is a physical education teacher in Skiatook but still helps set up for Bartlesville’s home gymnastics meets.)
Bertolet’s youngest son Mitchell Lathrop is a structural engineer in Tulsa.
In her own right, Bertolet has been another kind of structural engineer — one that has helped build young girls’ bodies, morale, confidence, self-esteem and set a sound moral compass.
“All the time I get emails or messages from old athletes thanking me for teaching them discipline and the difference between right and wrong,” Bertolet said, recalling a former gymnast who told her she would often recall Bertolet’s voice in her head telling her she could do it.
“I have always wanted to help children to have the choice to do what is right and the choice to work hard,” Bertolet continued. “Someone has to teach them that they have all the talent and they can be what they want to be. That they have strength to get through the hard times. ... I appreciate all those people who have helped me during the years.”
There’s not space to write about the amazingly successful and accomplished gymnasts — on a national or higher level — that Bertolet helped develop.
Yes, it’s been a crappy schedule with occasional hard knocks.
But Bertolet has risen to the challenges.
When it comes to trying to enhance gymnastics in Bartlesville and enhanced the quality of her athletes; lives, Bertolet has scored a perfect 10.0.
by Joe Todd and Jackie Backer
On December 6, 1941, 16-year-old Jackie Backer attended a friend’s sleepover. The following morning, her friend’s father woke the girls with a brisk “No Sunday school, girls. I’m taking Jackie straight home. Pearl Harbor has been bombed!” At that time, “The Golden Age of Radio,” 60% of American families listened to the 6 o’clock news keeping track of Hitler and Mussolini. Theatergoers watched newsreels of Europe’s nightmare. Unease became fear as Japanese submarines roamed East and West coast waters, actually bombarding California’s Ellwood Oil field and Oregon’s Fort Stevens.
Because her father’s work at Goodyear Aircraft in Akron, Ohio was essential to the war effort, his black 1939 Ford sedan was deprived of nothing (except air-conditioning). In July 1941, he drove his family across country to Phoenix to help establish Goodyear’s Arizona Aircraft plant (utilizing some of his own riveting innovations and some of the 65,000 acres of Pima cotton, then owned and cultivated by Goodyear).
In 1943, Jackie graduated high school in Phoenix. That summer, she and her classmates helped with scrap metal and paper drives, folded cellophane and foil into long strips, and endured rationing: first to go, sugar (tragic for teenagers,) followed by fats, oils, meat, coffee, cigarettes, clothing, shoes, tires and all vehicles. When Japan invaded the Philippines, Phoenix’s Japanese, many of whom were Jackie’s friends, were taken away. Distraught and bewildered that they had become the enemy, she was determined to do something about it.
She convinced her two best friends to apply with her for jobs at Goodyear. All three were hired to work the graveyard shift. Their plan was to spend their days swimming, playing tennis and going on
dates. Unfortunately, they neglected to plan sleep time before returning to work at midnight. It took just three nights for their parents to realize what they were up to, but the girls were allowed to continue their work once work/sleep schedules were prioritized. They completed a fourweek riveting course to join Goodyear teams converting Army B24 bombers into Navy PB4Y2 Privateer longrange bombers urgently needed for patrolling the large Pacific area seized by Japan. Riveters work in pairs on either side of a metal span, one drilling holes and sending rivets, with the other holding a bucker plate firmly in place to prevent tearing of the fuselage. Standing on scaffolding surrounding the fuselage, they alternated roles; however, when it came to wings, Jackie, because of her small stature, was the one sent inside the tangled wiring. With security tight at the plant, they boarded buses in Phoenix to be driven the 25 miles to work all that summer in bibbed overalls and bandana tied hair.
In September, all three attended Phoenix Junior College with Jackie majoring in aeronautical engineering and her friends, more realistically, in English. Her friends went on to UCLA for BAs, and Jackie to Marymount for her BA in Fine Arts, and later for an MA and ABD at TU. The girls remained lifelong friends.
Jackie’s late husband, Jolly Backer, was employed with Phillips Petroleum Company. They lived in Venezuela 13-years, Mexico 3-years, New York, Belgium 3-years, and London 14-years before moving to Bartlesville in 1983. Now, at 100-years-young, Ms. Jackie a gracious LADY who speaks five languages (English, French, Spanish, Italian, Papiamento), practices Tai chi, ballet, yoga and continues her home in Bartlesville, surrounded by many friends.
Downtown Bartlesville’s one-of-a-kind setting for your once-in-a-lifetime milestones and celebrations.
Two floors of chandelier-studded ballrooms — and an utterly charming on-site boutique hotel.
Inquire today for your special event! The Refinery at the Johnstone-Sare Building 888-733-1633
THEREFINERYOK.COM instagram @therefineryok
* Engaged? Mention B Monthly when you book a Grande Weekend Wedding package starting at $7500 and your bridal party will receive a complimentary Brunch & Bubbles!
by Kay Little, Little History Adventures
What do Maid-Rite Sandwich Shop, Taters Totem Pole Restaurant, Totem Pole Restaurant, Vera’s Restaurant, Virginia’s Café, Westside Café, Sharecropper Café and Nanking Restaurant all have in common? At one time, each one of them was located at 1744 W. Frank Phillips Blvd. According to which age group of Bartians you speak to, they will have stories of meeting at one of these restaurants with friends and family.
This month I am concentrating on Nanking Restaurant. Debbie Neece and I decided to check it out, so we went to breakfast recently. We had been hearing about how good the food was and wanted to see for ourselves. It is basically a hometown restaurant with good American comfort food. Don’t let the name confuse you. It is not a Chinese restaurant, even though periodically, the owner, Mike Banh, makes his famous peanut butter eggrolls that he used to make while a chef at The Fortune. His specialties now are hamburgers with fries and spaghetti.
Mike is from China and came here with some of his family many years ago. He worked at the Evergreen Restaurant by Green Country Inn, Simon’s Steak House in the Ramada Inn and the Fortune Restaurant.
In 1985, he decided to start his own restaurant, but felt that he could make more money with American comfort food instead of just Chinese fare. He was not able to make much money working in Chinese restaurants and needed a better way to support his family, here and in China. Mikey, as everyone calls him, had a great friend, Van, who helped him get the restaurant started.
I found the following quote online: “Nanking Restaurant: a fusion of American and Chinese flavors. Discover Nanking Restaurant in Bartlesville where American comfort meets authentic Chinese cuisine for an unforgettable dining experience.” The restaurant has a table called the Knights of the Square Table, where regulars solve the world’s problems one cup at a time.
The day Debbie and I visited the restaurant, we met a delightful couple, Marletta Cruzan Walker and Roane Fowler, who have been regulars there and have become friends with Mikey. We visited with them for quite awhile about their experiences as long time Bartians. We felt the happenstance meeting was a “God thing” as we were all at the right place at the right time. Roane remembered several of the restaurants at this location. He told about how several men hung out at the restaurant and waited for someone to pick them up and perform odd jobs around town. He also spoke about his father who worked at the Smelters. Since the restaurant was open 24 hours a day, his father stopped by the restaurant for breakfast at 2:30 a.m. while waiting for the Smelter furnaces to be fired up at 3:00.
Sadly, retirement has tapped Mikey on the shoulder and he is closing the restaurant the last of May. While this chapter is closing for 1744 W. Frank Phillips Blvd., we hope someone sees this as an opportunity to open yet another restaurant.
Be sure and visit the Bartlesville Area History Museum’s latest exhibit, “Our Culinary Past” to find out about other local restaurants. The exhibit will end July 7th.
by Abigail Singrey
On December 4, 2024, in her Bartlesville home, Marjorie Smith simply stood up—then, without warning, everything went black. She lived alone, but was able to call for help when she woke up. She was rushed by ambulance to Ascension St. John Jane Phillips Medical Center.
Unbeknownst to her, she had blood clots that rushed up to her heart, which was confirmed by testing at the hospital. She had surgery to remove the blood clots, but they had damaged her heart. Marjorie now had right ventricle heart failure.
“Her organs began shutting down,” her daughter, Leeanne Frazier, said. “Her feet were turning blue and purple. They were concerned that they might have to amputate.”
Staff were also concerned about her survival. Hospice was mentioned at one point, Frazier recalled. However, cardiologist Dr. Anderson Mehrle and his team weren’t ready to give up on Smith. Instead, they recommended inserting the Impella RP Flex, a minimally invasive, catheter-based heart pump engineered to deliver temporary support to the right side of the heart. The pump allows the patient’s heart to rest and recover.
“The options for right ventricle failure have historically been very limited,” Dr. Mehrle said. “This pump changed all that. . . It can take over for a failing right ventricle and pump four liters of blood per minute through the pulmonary arteries.”
While the procedure had been performed before in other Ascension St. John network hospitals, Smith was the first patient to have the procedure at Jane Phillips Medical Center. The team anxiously watched her lab results for signs of improvement, Nurse Practitioner Lindsay Downing said, and Smith got a little bit better every day. For her daughter, the most encouraging sign was when Smith’s hands and feet began to “grow pink and warm,” she said. As her heart
healed, her organ function began to return to normal, and she no longer was facing the possibility of kidney dialysis. The pump was in her body for about a week, then they weaned her off of it to allow her body to continue the recovery process.
“The entire team was amazing,” Frazier said. “They have the greatest staff members (at Ascension St. John Jane Phillips Medical Center). I can’t tell you enough how wonderful everyone was.”
Eventually, Smith was ready to be released to a rehab facility, and the hospital social workers found her a placement in Oklahoma City, so she could be near family for the holidays. She had a long recovery process, starting out in a wheelchair and retraining herself to eat and perform other daily activities.
For the Bartlesville team, even though they said goodbye to Smith, they didn’t forget about her. Downing and others checked in on her recovery via text and phone calls and encouraged her progress.
Smith has now recovered enough to be released from rehab and has her own apartment in a senior living facility near her daughter’s home. Now, her complex’s staff purchased a threewheel bike for her to ride around the facility, a true testament to her recovery. Thanks to modern technology, her body was given the tools it needed to recover.
“She would not be alive today without the Impella RP Flex pump,” Mehrle said. “Now, thanks to this technology, she gets to live life again.
Recently, Smith stopped by the Jane Phillips Medical Center to thank some of the staff who were so instrumental in her care. It was a heartwarming moment for Downing.
“Miraculous recoveries like this are the reason why we come into work each day and do what we do,” Downing said.
Chloe is a graduate of the Medicine and Biosciences program at Tri County Tech and Bartlesville High School. She chose this program because she loved the idea of hands-on learning. Her favorite part about the program was her internship at Ascension St. John Jane Phillips Medical Center.
In addition to her academic pursuits, Chloe has participated in HOSA, NHS, Interact, NTHS, and softball. She actively participates in community service and has even helped organize community service events for Interact.
Her instructor, Dr. Holdman, said, “Chloe is a confident and determined student with a great positive attitude. She works diligently on her assignments. She is motivated and willingly accepts challenges. Chloe is also a star athlete on the Bartlesville High School softball team.”
Chloe said her mom has inspired her most in life. She shared that seeing her be strong and independent has led Chloe to be strong and independent herself.
After graduation, Chloe plans to continue her education at Oklahoma State University to pursue a career as a registered nurse. Congratulations, Chloe!
Ryan is a graduate of the Precision Machining Operations (PMO) program at Tri County Tech. He chose this program because of the employment opportunities after graduating. His favorite part of the program was learning how to make pieces out of metal.
In addition to his academic pursuits, Ryan is the former President of the men’s Oxford House in Bartlesville. He is also actively involved with The Other Side Group– Narcotics Anonymous, where he helps organize events that celebrate recovery.
His instructor, Mr. Cowart, said, “Ryan knows what he wants to get out of the PMO program and has plans for his future. He is extremely respectful and always helps the younger students. Ryan has near-perfect attendance and good grades. Ryan represents Tri County Tech’s values of Honor, Excellent, Authentic, Principled, and Fiery, perfectly.”
Ryan completed the program in December and now works at Grand Mental Health, serving individuals who are struggling. He says it’s been an amazing experience, and he has loved it so far. Congratulations, Ryan!
We are looking for Facebook voters to select the perfect photo of our beautiful city for our People’s Choice Winner!
Vote on our Facebook page. Remember to follow and share! The contest entry period runs from noon on on June 6 through noon on June 12. Entries that were accepted will be pictured in the July issue of bmonthly. Facebook voting opens at noon on June 13 and runs through noon on June 20. Complete rules online.
Cover winner will also receive a $100 gift card to Lollipops or Palace Rooms! People’s Choice winner will receive a $25 gift card to Hideaway Pizza!
by Jay Webster
Fifteen years ago, my wife and I found ourselves in Chicago, temporarily living in a 450-square-foot brownstone studio apartment on the 4th floor, furnished with two plates, two computers, a TV, and a borrowed mattress on the floor. We also found ourselves at the end of a year-long discussion about whether or not to have a child. We had been married successfully for seventeen years without one, but now it was close to “last call” in baby-making years. So, we slept on it.
When the smell of breakfast (and most foods) began to turn my wife’s stomach each morning, we figured the issue had been resolved. Some home tests were taken, and we passed. But still, there’s a moment when you think…maybe we need a professional’s opinion.
Knowing we weren’t staying in Chicago indefinitely, we just found a clinic that could confirm what the morning sickness was already telling us. It was simple enough, like a lottery ticket, really. Ann-Janette would go in, pee on something, and within minutes, we would know our destiny.
For my part, I waited in the lobby, wondering whether I should buy cigars or if vape pens would be more culturally appropriate. Before I could decide, a nurse called me back. Ann-Janette was waiting in the hallway, and the two of us followed the nurse to her office. There, she plunked on her keyboard as if she were sending Morse Code, then stopped and said (half to herself and half to us), “Uh huh, yes… You are pregnant…” Then she looked back at her screen, clicked boxes, and continued, “Do you want
to keep it?”
“Uh, yes…we did this on purpose,” I answered.
“Oh, good,” she smiled and looked us up and down again for good measure. “Well, let me tell you, honey. Your whole life, you’ve been doing whatever it is you’ve been doing, but that baby is in charge now.”
I didn’t love that idea.
From that moment on, wherever we went, no matter whom we “shared” our news with, people said the same thing: “Your life will never be the same.”
I wasn’t a fan of that phrase either.
I mean, come on. We were seventeen years in. We were an established company bringing on new personnel. It’ll be fine. Plus, we decided to have a kid. Of course, we knew things would change - a little.
Following the visit to the clinic, I began to think of my wife as having an alien inside her… a parasite, really, because all it did was live off her and make her feel bad. A couple of weeks later, the clinic said they’d like us to get our first sonogram to verify that the alien was healthy and okay, camping out inside Ann-Janette.
Somehow, we got booked into a really posh hospital. Pro athletes and their wives were walking out as we walked in. I put my arm around Ann-Janette and caressed her slightly bulging stomach, announcing loudly, “Would you be more comfortable in a wheelchair?” Then I quickly looked for the valet to assist the mother of my child. Ann-Janette’s elbow brought on a kind of labor pain of my own.
In the examination room, there was low theater lighting and a sixty-five-inch flat screen that covered one wall. It’s something to see your wife’s internal organs the size of the Death Star, complete with Dolby surround sound.
And then, of course, that’s when it happened.
I heard my daughter for the first time. Not surprisingly, she was singing a showtune. It was just the melody, but I recognized it. This little thing, the size and shape of a bean, was thundering like a drum, making a beat of her very own (and not surprisingly, rushing the tempo a bit). And that’s when I changed her name from Alien to Bean (which we still call her today).
I’m proud to say that was the last time our daughter changed our lives.
Except for the fact that we no longer sleep in, ever.
We spend every summer in musical theater camps.
And we chaperone school trips like it’s our job.
In fact, we just completed back-to-back weekends with a hundred plus kids at Frontier City and Silver Dollar City, which was fantastic…despite the nearly six-hour round trip for both, the heat, the smell of asphalt, the crowds of other people’s kids, the hour and a half wait to ride rides that make me sick, the overpriced food, and generally not wanting to be there.
OK, can we be honest?
I put on a brave face, but I really don’t care for amusement parks. Or other people’s kids. Or lines. Or when there’s a monopoly on food, so you have to pay like it’s the black market for a loaf of bread in the USSR.
That’s when you ask yourself: “Were all those people right? Will my life be forever changed by the mere act of procreating?”
Sadly, it seems the answer is “yes.”
I can’t think of a single area that has not been directly or indirectly affected by my daughter’s birth, even now, thirteen and a half years later.
There were moments in my twenties when I would get an idea to go somewhere and be off the couch and in a moving car in less than two minutes. Now I get the idea and just talk myself out of it because of the effort. If it’s not the negotiations (where are you going, when will you be back, who are you taking with you…), it’s the waiting (I promise, no one will see you…put on a hat…those shorts look fine…I don’t know where your purse is…). Spaceflight takes less coordination.
The upside of reproduction is tilting the world just one more degree toward your own special brand of weirdness. You get to push your music on them, your movies, your tendencies. Whatever theories you’ve amassed by living here, well, this is your captive pupil to corrupt.
So, is it all worth it? How does it all balance out?
On one hand, you may already have a spouse or significant other who brings all your quirks, failings, and character flaws to the surface. Do you really need to add more firepower to that experience? On the other hand, there’s the extreme emotional rollercoaster that becomes your daily life (do they love me, do they hate me, are they still under warranty)… And I suppose that keeps you on your toes.
Maybe we should just check in with each other in a couple of years? By then, we’ll have more data to assist in this research project, and maybe we’ll be able to provide a complete answer or at least offer betting odds.
I know you come to this column for guidance. I feel like I failed you in that effort because I couldn’t provide more definitive direction here. But the truth is, I’m tired. I haven’t slept well in thirteen and a half years. I’ll try to do a better job next month.
Until then, get on with doing the good you can do, friends. Talk soon
by Brent Taylor
I was born into a grand culinary experiment— one that began in the hardscrabble kitchens of the Great Depression and evolved through American ingenuity into a postwar paradise of processed food. In those lean years, dietitians emerged as unlikely heroes. While most people scraped by on rations and ingenuity, the stewards of nutrition saw opportunity. With the country hungry—literally— for stability, they set out to reengineer the American plate.
“A chicken in every pot” became a national goal and a culinary arms race followed: chicken nuggets, cream gravy, white bread, and more chicken restaurants per capita than anywhere else in the world. I grew up on orange-flavored Hi-C, wacky cake, ambrosia, and bologna on white bread. Somehow, I’m still standing. But I have a dream that with the help of artificial intelligence, the world will undergo a new revolution, where food is both abundant and without consequence. I dreamed a dream about a place called Glaciera.
In the year 2045, following the nutritional uprising known as the Edible Renaissance, science conquered food. Every bite was optimized— calibrated for perfect health, ideal emotion, and biological bliss. In this land people ate only ice cream.
Morning to night: scoops, swirls, sundaes, cones, shakes. Sugar and cream, without shame or side effects. No one aged poorly, no one gained weight, no one ever felt too full.
But every utopia has a crack.
A bio-chef named Lyra stumbled upon a forgotten archive of ancient Earth recipes—dishes with contrast, with heat, with crunch and bitterness and sour. She became obsessed with reintroducing real flavor, meals that surprised rather than soothed.
Her culinary curiosity threatened the emotional equilibrium of Glaciera, where citizens’ moods were regulated through sweet dairy algorithms. Political factions emerged. The Savories rose.
They smuggled in forbidden creations: jambalaya curry ice cream, jalapeño gelato, and even…soup.
Yes, someone made soup.
The perfect order of Glaciera began to melt.
Perhaps this future of gourmet monotony, no matter how delicious, is too tidy. After all, the foods that shaped me weren’t fancy. They were humble, odd, sometimes mysterious.
My wife Karen tells the story of a sacred jar of iced tea her parents kept disguised in an old prune juice container. It was their secret—hidden in plain sight, away from the hands of thirsty children. On Sunday nights, her family packed into the car for “buck night” at the drive-in movies. They’d walk past the glowing concession stand, the buttery smell of popcorn swirling in the night air, only to return to the car for their ration: plums and carrot sticks in a brown paper bag.
Even the gas station was a place of culinary wonder, with a red cooler and these words scripted on the side: Drink Coca-Cola—In Bottles—Ice Cold. Long-necks—Orange Crush, Strawberry, and Grape Nehi—were buried treasures beneath the ice.
Names matter in the culinary world. The Germans, bless them, say liverwurst—as if they know already what everyone else does. Then again, Bavarians name their pastries more mysteriously with names like Streuselkuchen, a word that sounds like a sneeze in church.
My grandmother Davis, began a family in the Oklahoma panhandle during the Dust Bowl. She had no tolerance for waste. At Sunday dinners, she’d snatch the chicken leg off my plate and finish what I hadn’t. No gristle, skin, or sinew was safe. She gnawed it clean, because she remembered what it meant to go without—those dark days when she wasn’t sure if the sun would shine again, if the wheat would take root in dust, or if her children would eat.
And so I wonder: does my ice cream utopia really stand a chance?
Maybe not.
Maybe real nourishment is found not in perfection, but in memory. In a messy kitchen full of garlic and steam. In a garden’s first tomato. In roasted corn and caramelized onions, Brussels sprouts with bacon, and a bowl of blackberries dripping with cream.
Maybe food, like love, needs its flaws.
So here’s to the old ways. To the dirty dishes. To the paper bags and prune juice jars. To the lovely sound of conversation around a table of delicious food.
Bon appétit. And L’Chaim.
by Miriam Walker
B the Light held a garage sale nearly a year ago, and it was while going through donations, that I happened upon a gem of a find. When I arrived to help each day, my first duty was to navigate the book table. It was a job that I assigned to myself actually. Well, somebody had to do it. People were dropping off book donations all the time. The responsibility was grueling, and getting harder by the day.
Self-diagnosed and self-proclaimed book nerd at your service, and my biggest challenge each day, was to NOT spend all my money on books meant to be sold during the sale. And that’s where I discovered a certain book that had the absolute best title ever. It was called, “Adventures In Missing the Point”.
No, I did not buy the book and if I’m being honest, I didn’t even thumb through it. I was taken in by the title alone and a bit jealous that I didn’t think of it first. It was soon discovered that I was doing more book browsing than sorting and pricing, and I do believe I was reassigned to toys or housewares, LOL.
The Journey of Missing the Point. This doesn’t happen overnight and often happens quite by accident. In an attempt to do the right thing or the thing that we believe is most helpful, it happens. The point is missed altogether when people are blinded by what they are trying to fix, and in an effort to help, they end up enabling or causing stagnation.
At B the Light we believe that God created purpose on the inside of everyone. There is a way things were meant to be, and those things never once included homelessness. A shelter that allows a homeless person to stay indefinitely as long as they follow all the rules, is the type of enablement that literally steals the purpose right out from under the one needing housing. B the Light Mission is counted in the number of people trying to help our homeless friends on the street. But make no mistake about it, we are not alone in our endeavors. What we are, though, is a place that will not allow our homeless neighbors to stay forever as long as they follow the rules. Following the rules will not change their status, for as long as a homeless person lives in a shelter, that is how long they will remain homeless.
And that is the point. The point is leaving homelessness behind, not making it easier to stay homeless. Many of the neighbors we’ve helped at B the Light WANT to get off of the streets, they truly do. Our poverty reduction center has a clear understanding of the solutions that work, and the unhoused in our city can indeed achieve stability in permanent housing, when they are provided the appropriate level of tailored services and support. Our mission and
purpose is clear, and our solution comes with independence, dignity, and a clear knowledge of the barriers that are standing in their way. With the backing of a small community to help them cross those barriers, when they finally leave B the Light, they’ll have their own house key but more importantly, they’ll be pointed in the right direction towards their purpose.
If the shelters in place don’t require those seeking help to eventually leave as an individual who is now ready to sustain on their own, these shelters will continually be at capacity. It’s the ratios of math and nothing more. If nobody is required to leave, nobody new can get in. By understanding and addressing each person’s individualized barriers, the volunteers at B the Light will stand side by side with our clients that choose to enter our program. Together with our team, they’ll re-learn the responsibilities of having a job or a work assignment, they’ll have access to therapy for any mental health concerns, help getting through any addictions, and support to obtain what’s needed to leave the program successfully. 15 months is our timeline. Here in Bartlesville we have a demographic of people that have become dependent on charity, dependent on resources, and a dependency on short term solutions that come with a one night hotel voucher and a pair of worn out shoes. But don’t miss the point. Shelter is needed, shoes are needed, but a dependency on the handouts that never end, is not a part of any journey that God destined for our unhoused neighbors. And that is the point.
Stagnation is becoming a stone that never moves. As the earth rises up to solidify people in its grasp, they become stuck. The longer a stone stays in the same spot, the harder it is to move out of that place. The storms come and people are wedged deeper into their spot of unmoving circumstances. Sinking deeper still.
If homelessness has to be, then it has to be temporary. And that is the point.
“I smile alone, as I remember all your words carried me home. I won’t let the world make me feel like I’m just a stone. Always hoped that I’d always unfold. Why can’t I feel like we belong? Too soon the race swept us along. Unearthing the truth that lifts you from the dirt, and shows you where to move.” - Harrison Storm
We are so excited to be open full time and our waiting list has been full for months. We are here for our unhoused neighbors and can’t wait to welcome them home, and then watch them flourish outside the walls of our Mission.
Please be watching for our Open House and GRAND OPENING announcement! See you next month!
“WORLD FARE”
Something Steel Band Experience culturally diverse artisans, dances, cuisine, and music
FRIDAY | JUNE 13 | 7-9 PM
“CINEMA UNDER THE STARS”
“The Outsiders”
FRIDAY | JULY 18 | 9-11 PM
“CINEMA UNDER THE STARS”
“The Parent Trap” FRIDAY | AUGUST 15 | 9-11 PM
by Jay Hastings
Frank Lloyd Wright was born on June 8, 1867, in Richland Center, Wisconsin. His father, William Cary Wright, was a gifted musician, orator, published composer, and occasional preacher. His mother, Anna Lloyd Jones, was a teacher. According to Wright’s autobiography, his mother declared, while pregnant with him, that her child would grow up to build beautiful buildings.
In 1876, Anna saw an exhibit of Froebel Gifts, an innovative German educational play curriculum. Anna was excited by the program so bought the block set, with which the then-9-year-old Wright spent much time playing. The blocks were geometrically shaped and could be assembled in various combinations to form two- and three-dimensional structures. Wright later described the influence of these exercises on his approach to design: “For several years, I sat at the little kindergarten table-top... and played... with the cube, the sphere and the triangle –these smooth wooden maple blocks... All are in my fingers to this day.”
In 1881, soon after Wright turned 14, his parents separated. In 1884, his father filed for a divorce and left Wisconsin after the divorce was granted in 1885. Wright never saw his father again.
Wright attended Madison High School in Wisconsin but there is no evidence he graduated. In 1886, at age 19, Wright was admitted to the University of Wisconsin as a special student. He worked under Allan D. Conover, a professor of civil engineering. However, Wright ultimately left the school without achieving a degree. In 1955, the university presented Wright, then 88 years old, with an Honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts.
In 1885, Wright’s uncle, Jenkin Lloyd Jones, commissioned the Chicago architectural firm Joseph Lyman Silsbee to design the All Souls Church in Chicago. In 1886, the same firm was commissioned by Jones to design the Unity Chapel as his private family chapel in Wyoming, Wisconsin. By that time, Wright was a gifted draftsman and, although he was not employed by Silsbee, he oversaw the interior design and construction of his uncle’s chapel in Wisconsin. The chapel is considered Wright’s earliest known work.
In 1887, Wright moved to Chicago looking for employment. Wright’s first impression of Chicago was that of an ugly and chaotic city. Within just a few days of his arrival and after interviews with several prominent firms, Wright was hired as a draftsman with Silsbee. A coworker named Cecil S. Corwin, who was seven years older than Wright, took Wright under his wing and the two became close friends.
After a year with Silsbee, Wright learned the Chicago firm Adler & Sullivan was “looking for someone to make the finished drawings for the interior of the Auditorium Building”. Maintaining his employment with Silsbee, Wright contacted Adler & Sullivan and began designing houses, working on the residential projects on his own time. Silsbee knew nothing of the independent works until 1893, when he recognized one of the houses as an unmistakably Frank Lloyd Wright design. Since Wright’s five-year contract forbade any outside work, the incident led to his separation from Silsbee. Wright and Silsbee did not speak for another 12 years.
Wright eventually established his own practice on the top floor of the Adler & Sullivan-designed Schiller Building on Randolph Street in Chicago. In 1898, Wright relocated his practice to his home to bring his work and family lives closer together. The move made sense as the majority of Wright’s projects at that time were in his own or neighboring communities. Following the births of his three youngest children, Wright, father of eight, had to sacrifice his home studio for additional bedroom space.
By 1901, Wright had completed about 50 projects, including many homes in the Oak Park community of Chicago. The homes have since been identified as the onset of the “Prairie Style” with the designs complementing the land around Chicago. Wright’s work continued into his later years. We have the distinction here in Bartlesville of being home to the Price Tower, the only fully realized skyscraper designed by him. The building was completed in 1956, the year of Wright’s 89th birthday.
My father, an artist and exhibit designer for Phillips 66, was always intrigued by Frank Lloyd Wright’s designs. After his retirement, he volunteered at the Price Tower Museum and used his skills to help set up various exhibits. I remember one particular exhibit for which he had to arrange the transport of a wooden scaled model of the Price Tower. The Foundation had loaned the model out for the exhibit, but it had to be transported by truck from Chicago to Bartlesville. My father worked several days on unpacking and setting up the model, which stood several feet, inside the museum at the Price Tower. He was really excited about that project and, as it turns out, while writing this article I discovered my father and Wright shared the birthday of June 8.
We live, work, and play in Bartlesville, and we’re proud to serve our neighbors with integrity
Experienced, Honest, Local