December 2009 Senior Living Magazine Island Edition

DECEMBER 2009 TM

Vancouver Island’s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine

HIKING IRELAND

10 First-date Ideas

Call to the Altar Profile of a Womanpriest

“Every once in a while you discover love and friendship in the most unexpected places.”

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DECEMBER 2009

(Vancouver Island) is published by Stratis Publishing.

Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid

editor@seniorlivingmag.com Contributors Norman K. Archer, Carol Brown, Goldie Carlow, Dennis Flewelling, Judee Fong, Gipp Forster, Jim Gardener, Moira Gardener, Kevin Growcott, Margaret Growcott, Renate Justin, Gail Kirkpatrick, Mary Kozicki, Julie Lawson, Patrick Lawson, Sheila Martindale, Pat Nichol, Alice Nightengale-Luhan, Enise Olding, Michael Rice, Barbara Risto, Rosalind Scott, Vernice Shostal, Candice Shultz, Barbara Small, Fred Williston

FEATURES

Proofreader Allyson Mantle

14 Roving Musicians

Advertising Manager

Barry Risto 250-479-4705 For advertising information, call 250-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Sales Staff

RaeLeigh Buchanan 250-479-4705 Terry Cushing 250-479-4705 Ann Lester 250-390-1805 Mathieu Powell 250-589-7801 Barry Risto 250-479-4705

4 A little bit up, a little bit down

37 BBB Scam Alert

8 Keeping Canada Warm

39 Classifieds

12 Touched By Charity 16 Senior Dating 18 Heathy Living? ActNow 20 Out of the Warm Land 22 Just My Cup of Tea 24 Hot Yoga

Contact Information – Head Office

Senior Living Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 Phone 250-479-4705 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 Fax 250-479-4808 E-mail office@seniorlivingmag.com Website www.seniorlivingmag.com Subscriptions: $32 (includes GST, postage and handling) for 12 issues.

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42 Crossword 46 Resource Directory

COLUMNS 2 The Family Caregiver

by Barbara Small

10 Victoria’s Past Revisited

by Norman Archer

17 Outrageous & Courageous

by Pat Nichol

26 Long Drive for a Big Mack

38 Bygone Treasures

28 Call to the Altar

43 Ask Goldie

32 Breaking with Routine 34 Off My Rocker 40 Theatre Icon and Impresario

No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag.com Senior Living Vancouver Island is distributed free throughout Vancouver Island. Stratis Publishing Ltd. publishes Senior Living Vancouver Island (12 issues per year) and Senior Living Vancouver & Lower Mainland (12 issues per year). ISSN 1710-3584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

DEPARTMENTS

44 A New Start Cover Photo: Julie Lawson stops to take a break at Bray Head on the Island of Valentia.

Story page 4. Photo: Patrick Lawson

by Michael Rice

by Goldie Carlow

48 Reflections: Then & Now

by Gipp Forster

The Senior Living family wishes you and yours a safe and joyful holiday season!

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1

THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

T

he holiday season can be stressful. Add it to the busy schedule of a family caregiver and it can become overwhelming. It may be unrealistic to try to celebrate traditionally, while at the same time ensure your family member is cared for as needed.

Take time to re-evaluate your expectations for the holiday season and create a more realistic view of how it might unfold. Figure out what you truly have the time and energy to do and what you can delegate.

Below are some ideas to help reduce the stress of the holiday season: • Delegate responsibilities and activities. Ask, and then allow, other family members and friends to share in the caregiving duties.

• You decide how much you wish to celebrate – if others want to do more, let them take the initiative.

• Don’t be afraid to say no. Only say yes if it’s comfortably manageable.

• Start new traditions that make sense based on the present. It doesn’t always have to be done the same way every year.

Caregiving over the Holidays

BY BARBARA SMALL

• Try to schedule activities early in the day. For someone who is ill or injured, fatigue and stress levels can increase throughout the day.

• Try to maintain a sense of routine for the care recipient. Ask them how they want to celebrate over the holidays.

• Keep decorations to a minimum to avoid clutter that may be hazardous to a frail or disoriented person.

• Suggest a potluck or ask other family members to prepare the meal.

Order in or eat your holiday meal out this year. Some restaurants or grocery stores offer complete holiday meals for take-out.

• Keep the number of guests manageable. Noise and hectic activity can be exhausting for the person who is ill as well as for the burnt-out family caregiver.

• Ask family or friends to provide respite care for you over the holidays.

Just a few hours of time for yourself can help renew your energy.

al” family gathering. Remember, your family is doing the best they can given the circumstances.

• Not everyone will have a happy family gathering just because it is the holiday season. Old resentments can resurface when people spend an extended period together – especially when the stress of caregiving is added to the mix.

• Avoid comparisons with past holidays. Yes, your family situation has changed and this year will not be the same as holidays in the past, but it can still be enjoyed in its own unique way.

Next issue: Communicating with other SL family members

Barbara Small is Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society.

• It is natural to feel sad when others are having what seems to be the “ide-

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SENIOR LIVING

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SENIOR DATING Check out “10 First Date Ideas” in our website Article Section.

www.seniorlivingmag.com DECEMBER 2009

3

A little bit up, a little bit down

BY JULIE LAWSON

H

ow much farther?

Better not ask. Not when it’s a full day’s walk and we’ve barely started. Besides, I already know. I’d asked the question numerous times on our first serious “walking” holiday (in Nepal) and the guide always gave the same answer – “a little bit up, a little bit down and just around the corner.”

It’s Day 1 of the two walking tours we’re taking in Southwest Ireland. Both the Dingle Peninsula and the Ring of Kerry, the larger peninsula to the south, are popular loop drives for bus tours and rental cars, but we’re taking the “high road” (literally) and going by foot – eight days around the Dingle Peninsula (think Ryan’s Daughter), followed by five days of walking along the Kerry Way. Walking? Hill-walking’s more like it – or climbing and clambering – for our walks ultimately take us along farmers’ tracks, sheep trails and old stage-coach routes, through peaty bogs and marshes of yellow flag iris, over boulders, along country roads bordered by wild fuchsia hedges, and even to the summit of Mt. Brandon (952 m), Ireland’s second highest mountain. And they’re not simply “walks.” Thanks to the knowledge, experience and enthusiasm of our native guides, the tours are mini-seminars on Irish history, folklore, customs and humour, geography and ecology, the Gaelic language, food, Guinness, whiskey, sports, music, the economy, and back to Guinness.

4

SENIOR LIVING

Our group is going up Slieve Mish (Slieve being Gaelic for mountain), following an old railway line. The views are spectacular, but the wind is ferocious. Keeping your balance while stone-stepping across a bog is tricky – especially when the stones are too far apart for short legs. Sure enough, in I plunge.

According to Kerryman John Ahern, the head of SouthWest Walks Ireland, a bog isn’t wet, it’s soft. A lovely Irish way to put it, but wet is still wet. Fortunately, the sun and wind dry my shorts and boots quickly.

We share a few good-natured grumbles on our first walk, notably as we’re nearing the end. “We have to walk through that?” we gasp. “That” being a very muddy cattle track, hemmed in by

Photos: Patrick Lawson

dense thickets and ripe with fresh manure. “No way!”

Our flexible guide, John McKiernan, agrees. On to Plan B! Over an electric fence (nervously), across a farmer’s field (guiltily), along a busy country road and at a brisk pace too, energized by the knowledge that the Railway Tavern in Camp is close at hand.

Ten years ago, my husband and I would never have taken a walking tour. Our reaction would have been a horrified, “Are you kidding?” Travelling in a group, being herded by a guide – shudder! But we gave it a try (never say never) and now we’re hooked. We still like to travel independently, but there are times (and places) where a walking tour is a perfect option.

We’re able to explore remote areas without having to organize everything ourselves and, since we make our own flight arrangements in order to spend extra time abroad, a tour serves as a good introduction to a country. Another plus? Walking groups are small in number, so there is never the feeling of being “herded.” And since the tours are specifically geared to walking (or some variation thereof), they attract like-minded people who, in spite of differences in age, nationality and experience, already have something in common.

We’re a congenial group of 13 on the Dingle Walk, including our guide – four couples and four women (from Australia, Canada, Finland, Germany and the U.S.), ranging in age from the mid-20s to the mid-60s. Over pints of cold Guinness or Bulmers Apple Cider, we compare notes on the misadventures and highlights of the day. John let us walk at our own pace (until Plan B) so what some might have seen or heard, others might have missed. “Did you see the roan horse on the hillside? Nice change from sheep. Those tiny purple flowers

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SENIOR LIVING

that we thought were orchids? They’re Greater Butterworth, they eat insects. This pub’s like a railway museum. Blister alert, can anyone spare a moleskin? What time is dinner?”

The days are packed over the next two weeks and follow a pattern – a substantial breakfast, an invigorating walk of roughly six hours (14 to 20 km), and well-deserved refreshments at the end. Sometimes, the walk takes us to our next night’s accommodation, other times a bus meets us at the pub and transfers us there. A couple of hours to unwind, and we’re more than ready for dinner – and guilt-free indulgence.

Each day offers something different: a newborn lamb; a visit to Great Blasket Island, once inhabited, now home to sea lions, sheep and donkeys; the best-ever scones at Slea Head Café; Famine villages; a scramble around Staigue Fort, the largest and best-preserved prehistoric ring fort in Ireland; smoked salmon for breakfast.

We have our share of “soft” mornings (misty and drizzly), but the light rain never dampens spirits. Besides, a visit to Ireland wouldn’t be complete without a few days of mist, fog or some of the rain that makes it so impossibly green. “If the sky’s clear, it’s going to rain,” a bartender tells us. “If it isn’t, it’s already raining.”

On our last day’s walk on the Dingle, we set out in a state of shock. It’s sunny. The sky is blue and cloudless. Plus, a rare phenomenon, we can see our destination – the summit of Mt. Brandon. We get the usual high winds, but the sky remains clear. As we climb, we’re treated to the awe-inspiring view of the entire Dingle Peninsula and the Blasket Islands with the Macgillycuddy Reeks rising across the sea to the south.

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The good weather continues during our Kerry Way walk, apart from a brief, but heavy downpour that forces us up a steep track in record time, and drives away the midges. There are only five of us this time and two guides – John Ahern and a new guide, Maeve, who’s learning the ropes from a master.

As well as accommodation – a variety of inns, family run guesthouses and the occasional hotel – all meals are included in the tour price. It’s well worth it, given the cost of eating out in Ireland, and we enjoy excellent three-course

A few essentials for a walking trip: • Hiking boots – well broken-in, with good ankle support • Waterproof jacket and lightweight rain pants, for keeping out the wind as well as the rain • A warm hat and gloves for “soft” days, sunscreen and lighter hat for the sun • A re-usable water bottle • Layered clothing – zip-off pants, a Tshirt and fleece jacket • Moleskins, in case of blisters • A daypack, big enough to carry the essentials, but not so big that you’re tempted to fill it.

Additional Information SouthWest Walks Ireland offers guided and self-guided walking holidays allyear-round in various regions of Ireland. www.southwestwalksireland.com

dinners (with up to five choices per course!), either at the inn where we’re staying or at a restaurant or pub in the nearest village. Dinners are mouthwatering: a round of Brie with salad greens to start, fresh Dingle Bay mussels, grilled salmon or traditional Irish stew, fresh vegetables served on the side and, yes, potatoes. Breakfasts are immense: full Irish (eggs, rashers, sausage, tomato and black pudding), Irish porridge or both.

As for lunches, we make our own with the sandwich fixings, fruit and treats set out by our guide each morning.

Walks are graded according to the difficulty of the terrain, the length of the walk and the elevation. The five-day Kerry Walk, ideal for a moderately fit person, is graded “1 Boot,” whereas the eight-day walk around the Dingle Peninsula is “2 Boots.”

A little bit up, a little bit down? More than a little! But the company is so engaging, the landscape so Ireland, we scarcely notice. Besides, after all the exercise, we can treat ourselves to some Sticky Toffee Pudding (with ice cream) at our evening meal. But first, there’s a cold Guinness or a warm Irish Coffee SL waiting around the corner.

Julie Lawson divides her time between travelling and writing books for young people. Where the River Takes Me was recently nominated for the Bolen Books Children’s Book Prize. http:// www.canscaip.org/bios/lawsonj.html

a monthly fee ($1560 for 1, $2252 for 2) including strata fees, daily 3 course meal, house cleaning, laundry, 24 hr staff, and Lifeline. Only a few short steps to Seniors Center, shops and services plus a wonderful community. Close to downtown, the ocean and Beacon Hill Park. Call Mette for details.

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DECEMBER 2009

7

KEEPING CANADA WARM

BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

A

Photo: Mary Kozicki

cozy organization that began with three knitters has grown to 50 members who meet regularly to assemble blankets to provide warmth for the needy on Vancouver Island. Knitters Mary Kozicki, Esther Wood and Maggie Salmond who initiated the Victoria chapter of Blankets for Canada, a non-denominational charitable organization devoted to creating blankets for those who need them most, knit and collect eight-inch [20 cm] knitted squares from around the Island to produce blankets for charity.

Linda Birdsall, left, and Elvira Hernandez work on their latest blanket.

Originally established in Alberta in 1998, by the year 2000, Blankets for Canada chapters sprang up in almost every province and territory across Canada. People came together to knit by hand or knitting machine and crochet blankets to keep Canadians warm. Men, women, boys and girls have all joined the project.

Mary Kozicki, an original member of the Victoria chapter, holds a degree in nursing. A former owner of a home support agency, Mary hired caregivers to provide services to the elderly and the sick, which helped them stay at home longer.

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“Knitting is my passion,” says Mary, who has been knitting since Grade 6.

Esther Wood, another original member, spent several years working as a secretary throughout Saskatchewan. After retirement, she moved to Victoria to be near her family. Now, she has time to paint, play duplicate bridge, do needlework, sew and sculpt fabric mâché angels that she displays at a local art shop.

A friend, who taught Esther how to put knitted squares to-

SENIOR LIVING

gether, introduced her to Blankets for Canada. In the summer, Esther constructs blankets while she listens to free concert music at the Beacon Hill Bandstand.

Maggie Salmond completes the trio that initiated the chapter three years ago. She spent most of her youth in Victoria, but has also lived in Alberta, Colorado and Illinois.

Attending graduate school in the States, Maggie earned a library science degree and subsequently worked as a university librarian in Illinois.

A world traveller, Maggie once took a year off to take a

trip around the globe and another year to explore Europe with a temporary work experience in London.

Maggie’s grandmother taught her to knit when she was seven years old. Besides an excuse for socializing, knitting gives Maggie a feeling of accomplishment. “It can be very meditative and it’s something to do when I’m watching television,” says Maggie, who also crotchets, embroiders and quilts. Her latest hobby is nature photography and watercolour painting from her photos.

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 

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Photo: Vernice Shostal

This holiday, give a gift of a Resort-style vacation, close to home!

Mary Kozicki loads her car with blanets for charity.

The Victoria chapter of Blankets for Canada has donated blankets to women’s shelters, churches, homeless shelters, VHES housing project, VIHA mental health housing projects, Victoria Hospitals Foundation, a daycare centre and others. Their most recent contribution, 24 blankets, went to the Victoria Hospitals Foundation Society.

The knitters come together at Michael’s Craft Room every Thursday afternoon to knit or crotchet squares together, to meet people and to chat. “It’s a very good SL cause,” they say.

For more information about Blankets for Canada, or how to start a local chapter, log on to www.blankets4canada.ca or call Mary at 250-370-1519.

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DECEMBER 2009

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T S A P S ’ IA R O T C I V

T

RUM-RUNNERS

he first alcoholic beverage produced on Vancouver Island was a strange but popular concoction brewed

by George Vancouver’s sailors from spruce needles during their exploration of the area in 1792. As soon as the Gold Rush hit the locality in 1858, however, commercial breweries sprang up like mushrooms, the first being the Victoria Brewery, established by German-born William Steinberger near Swan Lake. He grew his own hops, used the water from the lake and business boomed.

Liquor fast became a commonly accepted trading commodity with the native population. At first, the Hudson’s Bay Company frowned on the concept and the natives showed no taste for liquor, spitting it out in disgust. It wasn’t long, however, before the local people developed a thirst every bit as strong as the white settlers. The desire for alcohol was one of the factors that prompted the movement of their camps closer to a ready supply. This served the purposes of the white traders well for they were able to obtain a load of furs in exchange for a bottle of rum. Everyone was happy.

But as soon as the glitter of gold took precedence over the pelts of fur, the native population lost its usefulness and was treated as a nuisance and an impediment to progress. Racial tensions escalated and the oppression of the aboriginal people intensified. Not only had they been robbed of their means of survival alongside the white man, but they had also acquired an insatiable thirst for alcohol with all the ensuing problems. They had been forced into a subservient position, totally dependent on the white man for their liquor supply, with no way of offering comparable service, other than prostitution.

The liquor problem, however, was by no means confined to the native population. Victoria in the 1860s was a vile place to live. Raw sewage flowed through the streets. Filth and squalor was everywhere. Disease was rampant. Gold had made it a largely transient society so few people had much interest in

improving the environment. Most people coped with the dirt by escaping through the bottle, forgetting their troubles and finding release from their daily struggles with the ale pot or the whiskey glass. To exacerbate the problem, alcohol had become the most commonly prescribed medication for every ache and pain imaginable. It was present in almost every patent remedy from curing a cough to relieving a chilblain. It was administered to children as a sedative and given to babies as “fortified milk.”

Throughout the previous century, many people in the western world were troubled. They saw clearly the ravages brought on society by the abuse of alcohol, and temperance societies were now putting pressure on governments to take action. New Brunswick was the first province to take tentative steps towards Prohibition in 1856. Ontario left it to local jurisdictions and many municipalities went dry. But British Columbia remained firmly opposed to any kind of liquor control.

By the 1890s, however, Prohibition in Canada had become a popular position. Although an 1898 plebiscite showed overwhelming public support for Prohibition, it took the First World War to goad parliament into action and, in 1916, Canada began to pass liquor control laws. They were laws with many loopholes and it was left to each province to administer them how it chose and, in fact, each local jurisdiction had considerable liberty too. The most persuasive arguments had to do with the war effort.

“If our soldiers are willing to sacrifice their lives, the least you can do to show support is to sacrifice your drink!” This position was further reinforced by the argument that grain used for liquor production was being diverted from areas where food was desperately needed. However, to enact a law was one thing, but to enforce it was another and ingenious ways to circumvent the law were quickly implemented.

In the United States, the Prohibition movement had gathered

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10

SENIOR LIVING

Victoria and the Prohibition Years

BY NORMAN K. ARCHER

enormous strength and when Congress passed the Volstead Act in 1919, it launched that country into 14 years of rigorous Prohibition. What was intended as a way to preserve the family and improve morals backfired as rival gangs fought for supremacy in the trading of illicit liquor – much of which was of inferior quality and a health hazard to those who consumed it.

Canada, now a wet country after only two years of Prohibition, became the haven for Rumrunners to the United States.

Many were unscrupulous and watered down their contraband.

Others, to their credit, aimed at a dubious form of honesty. Refusing to dilute his whiskey, William S. McCoy always sold the pure stuff and gave rise, as some have suggested, to the phrase, “The Real McCoy.” Victoria had its own part to play during this era. The upscale area known as “The Uplands” (named after the original owner, John Upland) had been landscaped by one of America’s foremost designers, John Olmstead, whose family was involved in the landscaping of Boston Common, New York Central Park and other famous landmarks. But the economic climate was not good and building lots were slow to sell. Soon, Victoria rumrunners appeared with cash in hand and were the first owners of many of The Uplands properties.

Ships built in Victoria soon proved the ideal vessels for rumrunning. One was the Revuocnav (Vancouver spelled backwards.) Its owner and skipper was one of the best-known and most elusive Rumrunner, Johnny Schnarr, who made over 400 successful runs out of Victoria, bringing at least four million dollars into Canada. His first runs were to Anacortes, to avoid the coast guards’ patrols, but he knew it was only a matter of time before law enforcement boats would be too close for comfort. To combat this danger, he designed faster and faster boats that could easily outrun any coast guard cutter.

Another Victoria-built ship enlisted for the west-coast run was a remarkable five-masted schooner, Malahat that could

carry 100,000 cases of liquor when fully loaded.

But the King of Rum-runners in this area was the notorious Roy Olmstead, an ex-police sergeant from Seattle who operated principally out of Victoria, using the dreaded D’Arcy Island as his hiding place. Olmstead, a shrewd businessman, was a big, friendly, charming and intelligent con-artist. He bought his contraband through a local connection at 50 cents a bottle from the Victoria-Phoenix Brewing Company or from the Victoria Silver Springs Distillery. It passed through several hands and was eventually sold for $5 a bottle.

Olmstead had a fleet of boats and quickly drove his competitors out of business. With his legion of boatmen, messengers, lawyers and warehousemen, he became one of the largest employers in the area, transporting more than 200 cases of best quality liquor a day to Seattle. His empire lasted six years, but the new, fast coast guard vessels didn’t destroy him. It was a new technology called “wire-tapping!” His magnificent mansion was raided in November 1924 and, two days later, Olmstead was arrested and the biggest trial in the Prohibition saga followed. He was sentenced to four years imprisonment.

While in jail, he converted to the Christian Science faith and lived to denounce liquor as destructive to society. President Roosevelt granted him a full pardon and he spent the rest of his life teaching Sunday school and visiting jails as an upright member of the community until his death on April 30, 1966 at the age of 79.

Soon the Great Depression began, the Prohibition laws were repealed and the good times for rum-runners SL were gone forever.

Norman Archer is an historical city tour guide in Victoria and the author of Tales of Old Victoria. Contact him at 250-655-1594 or nka@canada.com

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BCSPCA

Touched by Charity

BY BARBARA RISTO

O

All I want this festive season is food, shelter & love.

To help, please contact your local shelter or call John Hoole at 250.388.7722

spca.bc.ca

ne way or another we are all touched by charitable organizations.

I have benefited from dozens of charitable agencies and connected with hundreds more over the years.

One of my first careers was as the coordinator of an organization called Citizen’s Advocacy, a non-profit organization that helped members of the community connect with people with disabilities to provide friendship and support. What I learned through this job was instrumental in my becoming a caregiver and strong advocate for a disabled family member.

The values I adopted have carried over into every other job I have had since and, in many ways, helped to shape the content and mission of Senior Living. A brush with charities, such as this, has created a strong personal belief in the principles of inclusiveness, respect, inspiration, selfdetermination and self-actualization, re-

At Citizens’ Counselling Centre we work with people that are having emotional challenges in their lives. We help them get through those challenges in a positive way.

We ask them to pay only what they can afford to pay for our service.

Our trained volunteer counsellors work with over 1200 people a year, and that number is growing.

We’ve been doing this since 1969.

We could use your help this year.

Please consider making a donation at

citizenscounselling.com 12

SENIOR LIVING

gardless of one’s ability or age.

As I look over my life, I realize just how crucial many of these organizations have been to the quality of life I enjoy.

Our family has been supported by the Family Caregivers’ Network through emotionally trying times, and we have been given advocacy support by the Victoria Association for Community Living, whenever we’ve had to go head to head with government agencies over funding issues.

About five years ago, it was a brochure published by the Dystonia Association that provided me with the information to properly diagnose a family members’ condition that had doctors baffled for years.

This association also linked us to a specialist to provide treatment and monitoring of the condition.

Citizen’s Counselling is a non-profit organization that helped our family deal with, and overcome, the pressures that

in Greater Victoria

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grew out of our caregiving situation.

Our family also includes four furry members. The BCSPCA has been partly responsible for helping us build this diverse family and, in return, we have supported the SPCA through fostering expecting mother cats on occasion. The Victoria Cat Rescue Corps Society came to our aid a number of years ago when we rescued a young mother cat from a nearby schoolyard. Unable, at the time, to afford the cost of spaying, this organization paid for the operation. ( I was able to later pay them back, adding a donation so they could help someone else.)

When my mother was diagnosed with cancer about 15 years ago, the Cancer Society provided the information that helped us understand the condition, and potential treatments. A hospice organization offered respite and helped us through the grieving process.

Almost every year, we attend the Salvation Army’s Christmas Concert, where gifts are collected for children of low-income families. For over 25 years, I have been a sponsor to a number of World Vision children. The list of charities that have

been part of my life goes on and on…

Even though it might be difficult to put one’s finger on the exact nature of the connection, we are all impacted by the efforts and research accomplished by hundreds of health-related organizations ranging from cancer to diabetes, Alzheimer’s to Parkinson’s disease. Cultural and environmental organizations may not be dramatically present in our everyday lives, but we cannot overlook their contribution to the beautification and protection of our world.

Where would we be without all these groups that step in to fill gaps that government can’t fill well, or, in some case, can’t fill at all.

I’m sure if we all sat down and wrote out a list of each and every charity that has touched our lives in one way or another, we would be surprised just how integral they are to the welfare of our society.

In general, non-profits and charities have had about a 35 per cent decrease in funds this year. The economic difficulties of 2009 have even forced some organizations to close their doors.

That is why I am encouraging every

person who reads this article to consider putting the financial equivalent of at least one Christmas present toward some charitable endeavour. It may be a small thing to do, and perhaps some can do much more, but we can make a significant impact on the funding shortage that many worthy charities have experienced this year. Let’s see what we can do to end this year on a SL high note.

Publishers Barbara and Barry Risto wish all our readers health, happiness and prosperity in 2010.

Leave your mark for future generations.

A planned gift to the University of Victoria can create many bright futures.

Just ask Nadine Sykora, a fourth year student majoring in computer science. Thanks to an estateestablished bursary, Nadine has the means to pursue her passion.

Your generosity will help ensure that future generations of talented students like Nadine receive a quality education. You can establish a fund in your name, or the name of a loved one, to support any university program you wish. Planned gifts are forever.

“Financial support for students trying to achieve higher education is a gift that can change a student’s life. As a recipient I know how wonderful this gift can be.“ Find out how you can create a lasting legacy in your will or estate plan by contacting Natasha Benn, Planned Giving Development Officer at 250-721-6001 or by e-mail at nbenn@uvic.ca DECEMBER 2009 2009 DECEMBER

13

Three members of the Gypsy Rovers, from left to right, Brian Tetlow, Dick Okros and Ron Minchin.

STORY AND PHOTO

BY JUDEE FONG

ROVING MUSICIANS T

he quick high-kicking, toe-tapping, whirling music of Hungarian Czardas, Romanian and Jewish Horas, Greek Sirtakis, Italian Tarantellas, Russian and Ukrainian Hopaks and Kolomeikas are all part of the extensive European repertoire of the Gypsy Rovers.

The Gypsy Rovers are Dick Okros, mandolin, Brian Tetlow, bass, Ron Minchin, guitar and Wilf Davies, piano.

They perform their popular style of music for any occasion: Luminara, the former Victoria Folkfest, retirement residences, senior care facilities, the Greek Festival, Ukrainian New Year’s Eve dances and much more.

“We call ourselves the ‘Gypsy Rovers’ because we roam all over the place,” explains Dick. “Gypsies usually have a slow start to their music and then it picks up, gradually moving faster. We try to do that when we have the chance performing as Gypsy Rovers.”

14

SENIOR LIVING

Dick plays the mandolin but, for the appropriate themes, he also plays the bouzouki, the domra and the balalaika.

Reflecting back on 20 years of venues and audiences, Dick says, “I think the last thing to go in one’s memory is music. Well-known melodies and tunes stay with us. One of the care facility we play at, many of the residents have lost their memory. I think we’ve done our job well when the people are still humming or singing the tunes after we leave. It brightens their day and that’s a good thing to do.”

One of Dick’s unforgettable moments as a Gypsy Rover was performing at the Victoria Volkssport Walking Club: an active, local multicultural organization. One year, the German army sent over a contingent of soldiers who did a 40-kilometre hike singing the “Happy Wanderer” the whole way.

Brian and Dick are two of the original Gypsy Rovers formed 20 years ago.

“When we were first starting out, we were rather ‘green’ behind the ears so we volunteered our services to the Ukrainian Community,” recalls Brian. “We offered to play for our monthly perogy dinners, which are excellent. Initially, this was our rehearsal place and to gain experience playing for a crowd. We did this for several years until we recently decided to ask for a fee because we were attracting a number of people to the monthly Ukrainian Dinner. We are known as the house band for the Ukrainian Culture Centre.”

At the age of 18, Brian made the momentous decision to become a teacher rather than a professional musician. “I kept my music as an enjoyable hobby,” he says. “Math and music do go together.

Lots of people play music but not many can do math!” In fact, three of the band members have math and music in their background: Brian taught math; Ron was a banker; and Dick was an engineer.

Brian’s worst memory was playing one

year at Luminara, the Lantern Festival.

“That was our absolute lowest moment in our entertainment history playing in the pouring rain to an absent audience! A few people occasionally wandered by with umbrellas and stopped to listen.”

Ten years ago, two of the original Gypsy Rovers left the group to pursue other interests. Ron Minchin stepped in to play guitar. “When I switched to European music, it was quite an adjustment for me because this wasn’t my musical genre. I always played contemporary or ‘white man’ music,” he says with a smile. “European music is quite different – it can change tempo a lot and the musicians have to keep together.”

Ron played guitar and electric bass guitar for years when he was growing up in Ontario. Like the other Gypsy Rovers, he played in his high school band as well as a few rock bands in his youth. And, like the others, Ron knew he needed a “real job” after high school.

It wasn’t until he retired from the bank-

ing world 12 years ago that he found time to pick up his guitar again. Dick describes Ron’s talents as “a virtuoso on the guitar when he does a lot of ‘runs’ and ‘fill-ins.’”

Ron adds to the fun of certain songs.

As an enthusiastic audience begins clapping to a familiar Russian folk song, Ron casually pops a furry Russian hat on his head without missing a beat on his guitar. Later, in a spirited sing-along of the “Happy Wanderer,” he gives his audience a smile and wears his Alpine hat. And, when the audience sings “Edelweiss,” Ron pulls out his Austrian hat. “The ones I wear with the Gypsy Rovers are only a small portion of my entire collection,” he says. “I have a hat for nearly every occasion. Hats are one of my trademarks – it helps the visual entertainment.”

No one claims to be leader of the Gypsy Rovers, but each member contributes his expertise: Dick has the ideas, Ron has the extensive library and Brian arranges the music for their instruments.

Wilf Davies, the fourth member of the Gypsy Rovers, is not a “talker” but prefers playing enthusiastic keyboard, accordion and piano whenever he can.

There is a strong bond of camaraderie among the group. The Gypsy Rovers’ teamwork is seamless and they play their music effortlessly. Their combined talent playing a variety of instruments makes their European sound unique.

Hearing their toe-tapping, hand-clapping, polka music emphasizes they can adapt to any theme.

At an Oktoberfest dinner, the request for a “Newfie” song was humorously filled with a rollicking rendition of the familiar sea shanty, “Yo ho, Blow the Man Down.” The Gypsy Rovers’ universal appeal is that they genuinely enjoy every moment with their audiences SL and with each other.

For bookings or to purchase the Gypsy Rovers’ Roving in Europe or Roving in Europe Again CDs, contact Dick Okros at 250-477-2151 or Brian Tetlow at 250-479-1947.

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15

Senior Dating: 10 First-Date Ideas

W

hatever your age, the best way to enjoy a first date is to keep an open mind, focus on the things you have in common, and make your primary goal to simply have fun! Here are 10 first date suggestions to get you started.

Fun First Dates for Single Seniors (or married couples renewing the spark): 1. Dance the Night Away. Check your local recreation centres for dance classes or look for dance clubs that welcome newcomers. Whether you are an accomplished dancer, or a novice with a desire to learn, being with a group of people engaged in the grand sport of dancing will open doors to new relationship opportunities. Most dance classes invite singles to join and will match you up with a partner, or possibly several partners. Get close, have fun and check to see if there’s any chemistry.

2. Picnic in the Great Outdoors.

Find a beautiful spot to spread a blanket and share a tasty basket of goodies. Shop the local deli together for some exotic items, or bring a potluck of homemade items. Find a beautiful spot to spread a blanket and enjoy your bounty. It will taste that much better in the fresh air and in the company of someone you want to get to know better.

3. Attend a Charity Function or Volunteer. It’s fun to support a good cause while you get to know your date a little better. Find a charity you both care about and see what happens. There’s always plenty of people to mingle with should conversation get a little strained. You may find the person of your dreams – and it may not be the person you came with.

Keep your options open, but be prepared to enjoy the company of everyone around 16

SENIOR LIVING

you. There are always charity-driven events in your area that are in need of volunteers and participants. You can get to know one another and lend a helping hand in the community all at once.

4. The Dog Park. If you’re both partial to pooches, take an hour and meet at the local dog park. Both you and your furry friends can say hello and you can get to know one another in a relaxed, familiar environment.

5. Get Artsy. Nourish your artistic side by expanding your creativity. Research current exhibits at local art galleries, or the museum. If you both have an artistic bent, take an art class together and perhaps try something new to both of you… stained glass, woodworking, etc. If you’re not the hands-on type, you can still nurture your artistic side by going on a local art tour. These usually take you to a number of locations, involve a variety of art forms and give you and your date something to chat about.

6. Set Sail or Take Flight. With water so close at hand, find out where you can rent kayaks, canoes or sailboats, take an evening dinner cruise, or go whale watching…You’ll probably want to do this when the weather is at its best but it will definitely let you see your surroundings from a different perspective. If you haven’t seen your local area from the air, check out the tours offered by plane and helicopter companies. Even just a half-hour flight can give you a fantastic bird’s eye view of the local sights and scenery. Instead of taking the ferry or a commercial flight, take a local harbour flight, instead, to a nearby destination, like Friday Harbour or Seattle. Do a little shopping or visit a couple bistros, before making your way

back home. A full day, indeed, but one you’ll remember for a long time.

7. Enjoy the Classics. Classic car shows can bring back many memories to share with your date. Automobiles are a big part of our history – what better way to find out more about each other by reminiscing about the cars that were part of your past?

8. Be Like An Open Book. Bookstores are great places for dates. You’re surrounded by conversation starters and the chairs are usually pretty comfortable!

Even if the date doesn’t go as planned, you can still pick up a great read for later. If it goes well, you can comfortably take the next step towards seeing one another again.

9. It’s All In Good Taste. Whether you’re a wine connoisseur or have trouble telling Cabernet from Merlot, visiting a local winery, joining a tour that takes in a sampling of several vineyards, or attending a wine tasting together is a great way to get to know each other while learning something new and sampling one of life’s pleasures.

10. Join the Circus. Is there a midway coming to town? Turn back time by strolling among the stalls and the rides, recall what you enjoyed most as a kid, savour the popcorn and cotton candy, ride the ferris wheel; all those things you loved as a kid but perhaps forgot as you grew older and took on more responsibilities. Start your new relationship by becoming a kid-at-heart again.

Do you want to read more about dating for seniors? Visit our website at www.seniorlivingmag.com/articles/senior-dating for more information or to SL share your dating interests.

Courageous s u o e g a r t u O

BY PAT NICHOL

Photo: Frances Litman

R

ecently, I spoke to an audience at the Victorian on Feltham. My topic was taking care of yourself with humour. At one point, I referred to myself as a recycled child. I began carrying “knock-knock” jokes and sharing them to the chagrin of my husband and family. My daughters have learned not to say moo to me when I am driving as I totally lose it and that can be dangerous in traffic. Who have you shared laughter with recently?

Children laugh over 100 times a day, while many adults find it difficult to squeak out three or four small smiles. Laughter transcends age, physical limitations or health status, and giggling reduces stress hormones. Tittering tones the face and acts like a mini facelift. One minute of laughter is as effective in getting your heart rate up as 10 minutes on a rowing machine. If you can guffaw for 10 minutes, you’ll burn 50 calories.

Health benefits aside, laughter has social benefits. Elevate the mood of others and more people will want to be around you.

Laugh alone and you heal yourself – laugh in a group and it explodes the healing.

Be the one in your group that is able to look at life in a humourous way and help others do the same. So in line with using humour and sharing, I want to share something else that children do – practice their ABCs:

Act Silly Believe in Magic Create Adventures Daydream every chance you get Enjoy life as much as possible Find time for fun Goof off Hang upside down from trees Imagine Nap often Join Clubs Open your mind to new ideas Keep it simple Play when you feel like it Love all creatures Question the answers Make time for friends Run with the wind Sing favourite songs Take days off Uncover your talents Venture out Walk on the wild side Yield to the moment Zzzz peacefully at night

So far, the only one that I might have a problem with is the H – Hang upside down from trees. I can’t find a tree with a branch low enough for me to climb up on.

As we move through the final days of 2009, try to do as many of your ABCs as you can. I look forward to hearing SL about them.

Pat Nichol is a speaker and published author. She makes her home in Victoria, but travels the world. She can be reached at www.patnichol.com

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Healthy Living?

E

Act Now

BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

Photos: Judee Fong

very move is a good move at the Henderson Recreation Centre’s Oak Bay ActNow BC Seniors’ Park.

Named after former Alderman and Reeve William Henderson, an architect and member of the syndicate that was instrumental in incorporating Oak Bay, the park includes a nine-hole par-three golf course surrounded by a low impact chip trail. The latest addition, two or three pieces of outdoor fitness equipment at each of the six stations positioned on the trail, offers a total fitness opportunity for the wellness-minded individual.

Established because of a 2009 provincial government Healthy Living and sport initiative to help keep seniors active and engaged in the community, the park includes a free outdoor gym that can be used any time. “[People] don’t have to worry about the centre hours,” says fitness supervisor, Kelly Joya. “In the summer, people may be out here at 5:30.

On the weekends, there are no opening and closing hours. It’s just dawn ‘til dusk.”

The specialized outdoor recreational equipment, designed by the same company that makes children’s playground equipment, aims to improve mobility, coordination, balance, flexibility, strength and maintain agility in adults 55 years and over, but is suitable for all ages.

“While some pieces focus on cardiovascular health, the majority focus on increasing range of motion and building up strength, so when we add walking along the trail, which is a really good way to maintain your health, this provides seniors with a complete workout,” says Kelly.

A helpful program for seniors is the orientation offered through the fitness department, which provides the option of coming out to learn how to use the equipment. It brings optimum fitness activities to an outdoor environment. For best results, the centre suggests the program should be completed at least twice a week, adding sessions of up to five times a week with improvement.

18

SENIOR LIVING

Bob Martin, who has gone from selling building supplies to building healthy bodies, is a personal trainer and certified functional assessor at Henderson. He uses the trail and outdoor equipment three or four times a week. Using a combination of all the fitness equipment, which includes leg pieces and upper body workouts, necessarily equalizes the body muscles, says Bob, who takes advantage of the equipment before his workday begins.

Raised in Regina, Bob moved to Vancouver in the early ’50s and Bonnie does the to Victoria in 1971. He has spent a circuit several lifetime in sports and working in the times a week, community with the Track and Field incorporating it Flying “Y” in Victoria from 1979 to into her brisk 1988, and as a fitness instructor at the walk along the Royal Commonwealth Pool in Edinchip trail. burgh, Scotland in 1989/90.

Restaurant owners John and Theodora Biros, who live nearby, use the chip trail and outdoor fitness equipment twice a week. “We walk every day,” says John. “The workout takes us about 20 minutes.” His favourite workout is the Tai Chi Wheel, which makes his body

feel like it’s floating.

“It feels like you lift 100 pounds from your body.”

The Biros were excited when the facility opened and were among the first people to try it. They haven’t stopped since.

“It’s outdoors and you don’t have to be locked in the Jack McKerm an gym with a lot of chip trail 5-6 ti , 86, who walks the fitness equip mes a week , tries the ment set alo ng the route .

people and lots of noise,” says John. “Here, you can see the birds flying. It’s open all the time. It’s perfect.”

Originally from Greece, the Biros moved to Toronto in the ‘60s, where they lived for 20 years before Theodora went on vacation to Victoria with her sister and brother-in-law. Theodora fell in love with the Island and went home to tell her husband, “That’s it! That’s the place we’re going to live.”

Bounded by the chip trail and the exercise equipment, the nine-hole, par-three golf course, offers beautiful scenery and a short round; the longest hole is 90 yards. “Golfers have played about 25,000 rounds to the end of August this year,” says Community Recreation Co-ordinator, Ronanne McConnachie. “A senior’s game is $6.25 – less when they buy a pack. We have one gentleman here, he’s 95,” says Ronanne.

“He golfs at least twice a week, if not three times. There’s also a coffee shop where [golfers] can visit and rehash the game.”

Josie Willock has been golfing for practice at Henderson since she retired from the Greater Victoria School Board about 12 years ago. “I usually come here for my short game - putting and pitching,” she says. “And I just think it’s beautiful. I find it relaxing. The scenery is out of this world.” Josie golfs at Henderson nearly every Friday. “That’s Ladies’ Day,” she says.

Semi-retired musician and entertainer Cecil Shaw plays golf at the Henderson twice a week with friends. He moved to the Oak Bay area from Prince George in 1986 and has no regrets. “I hate leaving this place,” he says. “I haven’t been off the Island for 10 years. It seems that every year, it gets better and better. I love this course. You don’t even know you’re in the middle of the city.”

Before the development, the area known as the Hudson’s Bay Company woods, part of the vast HBC Vancouver Island land holding, was home to an abundance of wildlife like deer, pheasant and grouse and was a popular area for hunters in the late 18th to early 20th centuries. The vicinity was mainly virgin fir forest and horse trails. Horseback riders could rent a horse from Carley’s Stables next to the land holding and ride into the woods and down to the beach.

According to archivist Jean Sparks, the current recreation area, 22 acres of land purchased from the Hudson’s Bay Company in 1962 for the sum of $150,000, came in response to a new housing development in Upper Henderson.

“Henderson subdivision started in the late ’50s and early ’60s,” says Jean. “Then it was essential that there was some recreation across the street.”

The golf course was developed in the early ’70s, followed by the chip trail.

The Henderson Pavilion opened on July 20, 1972 and the outdoor exercise equipment along the chip trail, added in the spring of 2009, is the newest addition.

As a fitness gathering place, the Oak Bay ActNow Seniors’ Park at the Henderson Recreation Centre offers opportunities for fitness, fun and social interaction; a critical healthy living SL component for everyone.

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19

Out of the Warm Land C

BY ENISE OLDING

Photo: Enise Olding

laudia Tenold is used to packing and unpacking card- entries were typed, some handwritten and lots were received board boxes full of books, curiously sorting through by e-mail. Because they hadn’t put many criterions on enthe tantalizing contents to see which volumes will tries, “we ended up with too many,” says Claudia. Mostly sinend up on the shelves of her used and collectible bookstore in gle entries were submitted, but one person sent in 30 poems. downtown Duncan. Today, several “And one high school student boxes are different from the others, brought in a handwritten item which brings a sparkle to Claudia’s with no name or contact inforeyes and quickens her pulse as mation on it,” she says. “There she opens them. They contain the were a lot of things we learned newly published Out of the Warm along the way!”

Land, a collection of stories and Now they had to tackle the poems from Cowichan Valley writtide of submissions and get them into some semblance of ers and, of which, Claudia is one of the editors and publisher. order before taking on the onIt all started when colleague Rierous task of deciding which entries to use in the anthology. chard Neftin was discussing with Claudia a book he was preparing “Britanny Fraboni who works in store was really helpful, ento publish. Her mind moved to the many writers she encounters tering everything into the comthrough her profession, whose puter and printing up two copwork might be gathered up and ies,” says Claudia. published in a book. “Hearing RiOver 200 entries were rechard talk about his book, I just ceived and, eventually, 54 thought, how hard could it be?” people would be featured with Claudia laughs, adding with hindroughly 70 articles in the ansight, “Ignorance is bliss!” thology.

No stranger to taking on new Out of the W challenges, Claudia moved from arm Land is available at these locatio Saskatchewan to British Columns: • Ten Old bia five years ago. Following up Claudia Tenold cracks the spine Books, 330 Duncan S treet, Dunca of the newly delivered book on a lead from someone she’d n, B.C. 250-7 1 Out of the Warm Land.

5-1383 te n oldbooks@te met in Mexico, she explored the lus.net • Gallowglass possibility of running a B&B in Books Ltd., 40 Ingam Street, Dunca Chemainus, but research made it clear it wasn’t for her. When Richard took one n, B.C.250-7 46-4104 www.gallow a cousin showed Claudia and her sister Kathie around the local copy of the entries, glassbooks.co m • V an couver Islan area, they came upon “two very nice bookstores” in Duncan that Claudia took the d Public Lib rary were available. They decided to just “do it,” and now they each other, and they read Book presen run one of those stores. each submission. tation and re adings by au thors: Previously a teacher, Claudia finds much joy and satisfaction They chose the ones 2 p.m., Satu in books. She encouraged poets to post their works in her book- they liked. “It was rday, Februar y 6, 2010 at the Cowichan store’s poetry corner and, eventually, Claudia’s file of local au- the only criteria we Branch of V ancouver Island Pu thors grew. So, the idea triggered by Richard’s publishing project had,” says Claudia. blic Library.

Then they comwas ripe for action.

Between them, Claudia and Richard, who worked at Kathie’s pared preferences store, took the first step towards gathering the works of local au- and worked through the submisthors for a published anthology. They weren’t sure what would sions to decide which would be too long, or better suited to happen when, in February 2009, they posted notices in the two other types of books, and to come up with a selection of works bookstores that requested entries by May 2009. They waited. from a variety of writers. “We had differing opinions as to crite“We were overwhelmed with interest,” Claudia says. Some ria,” says Claudia, “so many peoples’ work had possibilities and 20

SENIOR LIVING

so [we] decided we didn’t want to be worried about judging it, but to put the emphasis on creativity.”

For Claudia, it came down to one thing: “I just wanted to see peoples’ work in print to give them confidence to keep writing. Not only for them to have their work published, but for them to get exposure without having to write an entire book themselves.”

Jerry Read is typical of a writer whose work found its way into the book.

“I told stories and wrote them for my kids and grandkids,” he says. “One day, I was talking with Claudia and she suggested I might submit one for inclusion in the book she was publishing. So I did.”

Jerry had never submitted his work for publication, but now he feels positive and encouraged. As an added bonus, “through it I’ve become aware of quite a few new local writers,” he says.

“We share manuscripts and help each other out.” The story featured in the book, “The boy who wanted a Real Horse,” has morphed into a book for Jerry, in which this story forms the first chapter.

Poet John Steven saw the ad and was pleased to have the “opportunity for some of my writing to be shown to people in the community,” he says. This experience has given him the confidence to submit to other publications.

During the process, Claudia’s colleague Richard moved to Prince Edward Island, but she enthusiastically carried on with the project. She received encouragement from many, including previously published Chemainus author Eliza Hemmingway, who, Claudia recalls, reminded her that the book would not be perfect, and not to expect it to be. Photographer Jim Salt provided the book’s cover image, Britanny created some artwork, Jeff Downie, Pat Ormand and Kristi Koons of the bookstores also helped prepare the book for publication.

Learning each step along the way, Claudia eventually got the book to the printers, created the table of contents, page numbering and then went through a series of proof readings, making changes, and then modifications to the setup of the cover image before it all was signed off and went to print.

Now, Out of the Warm Land, containing the works of local authors can be shared with the community – and beyond. For Claudia, the process was a huge learning experience that called for patience and determination.

Would she do it again? “Yep!” is the firm answer. “People come into the bookstore, who I know belong to book clubs, or write stories and poems, but they would not put them up in our Poetry Corner display,” says Claudia. “People just felt too shy to submit their work, but now I show them the book and they say ‘I should have’ – and they promise to come forward for the SL next book.”

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21

I

’m addicted to china, particularly teacups. For me, tea does not taste right unless it’s from a china cup. And my hobby is much cheaper than golf. I get all the exercise I need walking the streets of Victoria and other Island cities, searching for rare and beautiful china.

When we received a 20-piece Royal Albert bone china tea service as a wedding gift, I was afraid to use it for years. Now, I own several sets of cups, saucers and mugs, both china and fine pottery, and use them every day. After possessing my Royal Albert tea service for three years, I noticed the pattern was called Enchantment. I started using it on days when I felt distinctly disenchanted.

It helped enormously.

Shortly after this, on one of my mother-in-law’s visits, we went to a country house sale, and although the

intention was to bid on some useful, older, if not quite antique, furniture.

I was carried away by the sight of a box of china cups, saucers and plates. I could not believe my ears when the bidding started at $2, so I quickly joined in the nodding and nervous gestures that go on at auctions, and won the bid for $3.50. I had, of course, surreptitiously examined the underneath and, at first, had been deterred by the complete absence of any trade name or pattern. My mother-in-law assured me that this was a good sign as it was probably so old, it was before manufacturers’ names and pattern numbers were used. Most china, certainly Coalport, was unmarked until about 1815, and then only with the factory name. Pattern numbers were included later, and artists’ marks after 1850. From 1890, leading artists were allowed to sign their work. My haphaz-

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22

SENIOR LIVING

Photo: Kevin Growcott

BY MARGARET GROWCOTT

Email: office@seniorlivingmag.com Phone: (250)479-4705 or Toll free 1-877-479-4705

JUST MY CUP OF TEA

ard auction set remains a mystery.

Unable to resist garage sales, I got lucky when I discovered pieces of an old matching set of fine pottery, some ruined by dishwasher use, but some delightfully fresh with gold edging. Although no cups, there were plenty of saucers (a dainty dish for cats’ food, or useful for plant holders) and an assortment of plates, bowls and a cream jug. Underneath were the magic words Harmony Rose (Alfred Meakin). I was told that a variation of this motif had been done by many china companies and was in fact a copy of a Limoges (French) design. So, Harmony came into my life, which, at that time, was hectic and stressful. Months later, I found a matching platter in a second-hand store. I was hooked.

From then on, I scoured second-hand stores in pursuit of beautiful drinking vessels. I made myself a rule to try to match up pieces already in my collection, but I discovered ever more delights, which I could not resist, even though they were usually priced anywhere from $12-$48.

Some were single cups or cups with saucers; the odd plate and cream jug were also allowed in. My range of lovely titles now extended to Symphony, Heirloom and Cottage Garden.

After a hectic day, I can slip into casual attire while my tea brews, then whilst sipping from an exquisite cup, I am in the

Cotswolds in Romantic England. My friend drops in for a cuppa when her rebellious teenager is causing stress and can be transported for an idyllic few minutes to Camelot or Meadowsweet, and be revived.

I sometimes travel abroad whilst drinking my tea. Under African Skies (Royal Doulton) is an inexpensive but rewarding holiday, so is Tuscany, where I can even practise some of that Italian I have been learning at night school. A visit to the U.S. capital is always possible with Washington (Booth).

Sweet Violets, Burgundy Roses, and Daffodil Time are sources of inspiration before heading to my garden.

I try to avoid going into those fascinating second-hand stores when I am on holiday. No room remains in my cabinet for odd china, however captivating.

But I must make space for Old English Countryside – after all, that is where I grew up – and spend some time with my old school friend Melinda.

One of my favourite designs is Indian Tree. My mother gave me a plate

BC N IO EDIT

in this pattern years ago. The dish is old and has a few minor chips, but the design is so beautiful I could not part with it. Indian Tree is a design introduced to Coalport, one of the most famous potteries in Shropshire (now in Stoke-onTrent, Staffordshire). Based on a printed outline, it was coloured by hand. No one knows how this design came to Coalport; some believe it came on a piece of silk from India brought home by an officer in the Shropshire Light Infantry.

It became such a popular pattern in the 19th century that many potteries started making it, and Coalport used it to train apprentices for many years. I have three pieces, all by different manufacturers.

Although the same design, the picture on each is charmingly individual.

The worst enemy of fine china, most of which has real gold paint on the edging, is the dishwasher. On a visit to England, I once sat next to a young woman on a bus journey from Chester to Bristol. She was an artist in a large and well-known china manufacturing company. Her work included painting

gold on many of the pieces. She obviously loved her job. And even as one of the company’s prized and highly paid artists, she was searched for gold when she left the factory each day.

If you’re interested in collecting china, the best places to find treasures are on your doorstep. Antique shops are an obvious start and most have a corner with odd china for next to nothing. Fairs and dusty junk shops are wonderful for sifting through baskets of oddments.

You will undoubtedly find matching pieces elsewhere later.

And don’t worry about who is going to inherit all this when you downsize.

Not long ago, fine china and pottery was considered too old-fashioned and passé by the younger generation. Today, it’s trendy. Flip through any home decorating magazine, and the pages are filled with proof. My daughter-in-law has already stolen a solitary cup, Silver Lace, for her morning tea.

As you become a treasure seeker, have a good time on The Hunt – made SL

by Crown Trent, by the way.

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A handy reference guide for seniors and their families wrestling with the issues around whether relocation is the best option. This 128-page book provides helpful, easy to read information and suggestions to help seniors and their families understand the decisions they need to make.

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23

H T Y GA through the eyes of a beginner

BY MOIRA GARDENER

S

Photo: Jim Gardener

o, what’s the buzz around hot yoga? Hot yoga or Bikram yoga is done at room temperatures of 110 F [43 C].

I’m a beginner and I would say a typical Canadian. A curious person by nature, I’m always ready to try what’s new. My introduction to hot yoga was through a bunch of colourful balloons dancing in the breeze – odd, but true. They were attached to a yoga street sign.

What crossed my mind when they caught my attention was, “I tried Yoga once and liked it.” So, a happenstance led to my hot yoga experience.

I stopped and found a new yoga studio opening up.

“Come to a free introductory class and try it out,” they offered. “Our next class is tomorrow.” Free yoga sounded good to me. I wasn’t sure about the hot part; I really don’t like heat, in any form.

The author in camel pose.

I’m more the igloo type, but yoga – you bet.

Donning what I typically wear cycling, a pair of spandex shorts (no they were not padded) and a red T-shirt, I headed into my first class. It took extreme willpower to simply stay in the room, and being somewhat conservative, I admired the bravado of the outfits being worn. I still had that middle-age spread happening and the T-shirt covered it nicely.

My first class, I deemed a success due to the fact I didn’t

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faint or puke and managed to stay in the room. I left wondering why anyone would go through this torture. But I had to admit, the participants were svelte, fit and calm – a definite plus; add to this the fact that it was a family enterprise and I decided once was not a fair trial. So, I bought a short-term pass on sale, of course, as I’m a bargain hunting Canadian.

I went home and dug out some long-forgotten summer tank top, as the T-shirt was a killer. The cycling shorts, well I couldn’t quite part with them just yet. Thus clad, I headed back to the studio. I quit more times than I went, but the people were patient and generous – they kept extending my deadlines. They knew a time would come when I realized how much I was getting from my yoga practice.

I stopped, started, stopped and started again, until not only could I stay in the room without fainting, puking or falling over, but I actually started to like it and LOOK FORWARD to going. Hot yoga gave me more energy. I was losing weight and, to be honest, I wasn’t even trying to lose weight. I showed up consistently and practised more often.

After a year, I took out an annual membership and started to get others involved. I felt wonderful, had energy and my ankles (my own personal weak spots) were strengthening.

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Then winter came, bringing with it a personal health crisis. I had to have some major surgery (a surprise) and hot yoga became a sanctuary. I did not allow myself to take my concerns into the yoga room. It was simply a place to come, feel the heat and relax. I had to be away from practice for months but gradually returned. It became a place of comradeship, and as I got to know the people in my yoga community, I marvelled at their journeys; people in therapy, recovering from burnout or from car accidents. Of course, not everyone is in a state of recovery, as I was, but those who were became personal inspiration.

I have worked out my post-surgical trauma with quiet tears in the yoga room. It has become a place with no judgment, a place of grounding, a place for me to simply be. I love that yoga is always referred to as a practice, and that we are reminded every time will be different; and being in the moment is paramount. I love the letting go I have been able to do.

It has been almost three years since I began this journey.

I try to set myself up for success. I know the more one practises the better one gets, but I leave the temptation to guilt trip out of this equation and do what I can. I’m simply trying to master consistency. I realize the days I really don’t want to practise are the days I get the most benefit. I still have times when I must be away, but I always come back. Of all the supplements, activities, and wellness rituals I have tried, it’s my hot yoga practice that has helped me turn a corner.

SL

SHARING A LEGACY

she later danced.

She received the variation as a legacy from Maria Mogilevsky, a Prima Ballerina of the 1970s who taught her the Russian version – the kind of legacy that has been passed on from one generation to the next. Roberta danced this role many times during her career as Prima Ballerina, most recently last December during the company’s Winter Gala, when she was about to turn 50.

“Classical Ballet relies on this Roberta Tayl kind of generational passage,” o coaching Ash r le y says Roberta, “that’s why I am Evans on the excited about teaching the variSugar Plum Fa iry ation to principal dancer Ashley variation.

Evans. She has achieved the technical capacity and elegance to bring magic to the role.” When the curtain with the presentation of The Nutcrackrises on opening night, a new chapter in er and, on closing night, an 18-piece the centuries’ old tradition of ballet will band will play for those who wish to SL begin again. A Holiday Fair coincides join the dance. of Canadia n Pacific Ba llet

he story of The Nutcracker is at the core of Canadian Pacific Ballet’s presentation of The Nutcracker Suite. An older Clara narrating the events of her Christmas’ past leads this shorter version of the ballet being staged at the McPherson. “It is the text and the music that helps form the memory,” says Co-Artistic Director Roberta Taylor, “memory is what I will rely to pass on this work to the company, especially for the Sugar Plum Fairy.”

Roberta is referring to the Sugar Plum Fairy variation; a principal ballerina role reserved exclusively for a few. She knows it well, as a child student of the National Ballet of Canada, handpicked by their founders Betty Olyphant and Celia Franca in the early 1970s, Roberta has memories of the National’s first Nutcrackers and has carried those through the many roles

Photo: Court esy

T

NEWS BRIEF

DECEMBER 2009

25

Long Drive for a Big Mack

BY DENNIS FLEWELLING

26

SENIOR LIVING

Photo: Fred Williston

W

hen grown men sit in the shade and philosophize, there’ll likely be a strange outcome. I remember one such conversation my friend Fred Williston and I had when we were speculating about truck driving – the open road – being paid to travel. I was thinking of dawn breaking across the Midwest while I rolled along on near-deserted interstate highways, pulling well-behaved loads with shiny new trucks in perpetually perfect weather. Fred evidently had other ideas.

In a working life spanning more than half a century, Fred has turned his hand to many occupations. From halibut fishing in the North Pacific to electrical work in a distillery, he has a vast experience in many trades. He started an appliance repair business out of the trunk of a 1963 Ford Galaxy and turned it into a successful operation in Burnaby with annual sales well into seven figures. But, in all that time, he’s never been a truck driver.

Nevertheless, last spring Fred bought a 1958 Mack H67 cab over highway tractor after reading an advertisement in a vintage truck magazine.

The first challenge was that the truck was over 50 years old – the second was that it was in Huntington, Indiana.

In June, Fred flew out and found Mack pretty much as expected for a truck that hadn’t seen a job site in over a decade. To be somewhat roadworthy, the truck needed work on the exhaust, wipers, horn, lights and a couple of new wheels and tires. Fred got it ready and headed for home, but not before taking in his first truck show in Richmond, Indiana.

After stocking up on the essentials, including a foamy mattress so he could sleep on the tiny bunk in the cab, Fred headed west. It was 35 degrees Celsius and humid. The truck’s electrical sys-

Readers inte rested in vin tem couldn’t keep up with demand, tage trucks could visit: so Fred bought a cheap generator and American T battery charger, which he strapped ruck Histori cal Society w ww.aths.org onto the truck behind the cab and ran Old Time Tru when additional power was needed. cks www.oldtim A digital voltmeter duct taped to etrucks.org the windshield monitored the sysVintage truck shows are h eld each summer on th tem. The louvers over the radiator e Island – ch eck local listings. weren’t operating properly so a system had to be devised to keep h tt p :/ /w w w .a th sv a n c o u v e ri sl a n d them open in the sweltering heat. chapter.com / Additionally, hot air off the engine would blast into the cab raising the temperature even more.

“I’ll be forever grateful to Paul, a an owner’s and a shop manual. mechanic, who was able to donate the Mack has hundreds of thousands of old winter coat that I slipped down miles on the clock and is a truck from over the shifters,” says Fred. “It kept another era. Somewhat underpowered out [of the cab] the heat and fumes by today’s standards, Mack has 15 forfrom the engine.” ward gears and two gear shifts. Fred says This truck was assembled in New the truck is easy to drive but difficult to Jersey and spent its working life haul- drive well, and he admits he “polished” ing concrete products in the eastern a few gears during the trip. It doesn’t United States. The first Mack trucks have power steering making manoeuwere built in the early 1900s. The vring it in tight places all but impossible. company supports owners of their Cramped parking lots are best avoided. older trucks by providing a copy of the Vintage cars always attract a crowd original assembly orders together with and vintage trucks even more so. Fred

and Mack were frequently photographed by passing cars on the freeway, and it wasn’t unusual for a few enthusiasts to drop by to kick the tires and swap a few truck stories whenever Fred parked.

Although Fred wasn’t pulling a load, he still had to keep a driver’s log just as professional truckers do and have it available for inspection, particularly in Haugan, Montana, where the weigh scale operator pointed out he’d driven too many hours and had better plan on a longer rest stop, which he did that night in Idaho. The next day, he was held up

by Washington State transport officials who weren’t sure if he needed a permit to cross the state but, if he did and didn’t have it, the fine was $285. Two and a half hours later, Fred had his $25 permit and spent that night with friends in the Seattle area. Getting through customs at Port Angeles and again in Victoria took a full day, but Fred rolled up his driveway at dusk on Saturday June 27. With more than 2,500 miles [4023 km] behind them, it was a long drive for Fred and his Big Mack.

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STORY AND PHOTOS

BY ENISE OLDING

CALL TO THE ALTAR E

stablished in New England since the 1600s, Kim Sylvester’s English ancestors had solidly laid the foundations upon which future generations would grow and thrive.

Kim, the middle child, inherited a deep appreciation of nature from her parents.

She was intrigued by her family history and she “wanted to learn anything and 28

SENIOR LIVING

everything.” As curious, energetic and interested as she was, she was acutely aware that she was different.

“I was on a path from the time I was young.”

Music has always played a major part in Kim’s life. As a child, she started with the piano at seven, cello at 10 and singing lessons at age 12.

“I rose like a star and I loved it. I was in plays, operettas, singing in concerts and performing musically, and it was a source of great pride to the family,” says Kim. “And I was an excellent student!”

She attended a Baptist church, went to Sunday School and memorized scripture, as well as learning to pray – all of this was very important to her. At that

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time, she felt that “God was leading me.

I was convinced that I had keep going with this. I began to pray a great deal, talking to God, saying I don’t know what to do, please help.”

Kim was in her teens when she became interested in the Roman Catholic Church and, at the age of 16, amidst anguish within her family and a thorough grilling by a protestant minister with whom she engaged in heated debate, she remained resolute. Eventually, when she was baptized as a Catholic at the age of 19, her family grudgingly accepted it.

Two years later, she entered a religious order as a postulant and novice on the way to becoming a nun. But, she says, “Something was not right, I wasn’t clear yet.” At the elementary school attached to the convent, Kim began to teach music and learn to play the organ, but she was particularly drawn to Gregorian Chants. But, ultimately, she began to doubt her vocation, feeling a sense of unease and so left the order.

Kim decided to pour her energies into post-graduate education. Over the years, she achieved a B.Ed and a B.A. at the University of Maine, an M.A. at Indiana University and pursued doctoral studies and research at Indiana, McGill and Carleton. During this time, she taught as a graduate teaching assistant.

When a job as an art historian became available at the University of Manitoba, Kim jumped at the chance.

“I was 30, an independent woman, I had a career, I travelled and went to conferences. I was in demand as a speaker and sang in a semi-professional choir; nothing stopped me from doing what I wanted to do,” she says.

At that time, she was not experiencing any obstacles to achieving what she desired. Feminism was not important to her, but justice was.

Although not participating at regular church by the late 1960s to 1970s, Kim was trying to gain a better understanding of the changes in the world and in religious values. After in-depth discussions with a colleague, Kim again became aware that “something was going on within me and I didn’t know

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When Kim met her French-Canadian husband, she moved to Quebec and lived there for 25 years. “It was one of the rightest times of my life,” she smiles. Already fluent in Italian, after living in Italy on and off over the years, she quickly picked up French and became integrated into both the language and culture of Quebec. She continued teaching at university but returned to singing in church choirs and immersing herself in the rich atmosphere of the post Vatican II Catholic church, To find out more about Roman Catholic taking training in liturgical Women Priests: music. www.romancatholicwomenpriests.org Moving to Vancouver Iswww.womenpriests.org land brought Kim and her To contact Kim: email: heartsong39@shaw.ca husband close to the chilwhat it was. I was dren and grandchildren, and going through all kinds of stuff from the past,” she says. to warmer weather, but it was a cultural shock. Not one to sit Later, and coinciding with the changes wrought by Vatican on the sidelines, Kim responded to the need for voice teachers II was Kim’s inspirational feeling of “literally being taken and, within half a year, opened a music studio, at long last, out of myself,” as she experienced through music and poetry with her own 1918/1920 Kimball grand piano. a creative force such as that which was blowing through the Not alone in seeking some type of spiritual renewal, Kim Roman Catholic church. has noticed that many people today seem to be exploring,

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available at: reading and searching for more spiritual paths that might lead to a more complete, comforting and satisfactory understanding of their place in the world – and within themselves. Like them, she was aware of the possibilities but wasn’t sure of her path.

An experience of God during mass on her birthday in 2007 provided Kim with clarity. She felt herself moving away, surrounded by the music, time slowing down and she says, “I felt lifted up. It was peaceful, protective.” After a moment, she looked around and all seemed normal but, “there was a sense of something that I understood, and it was that I must serve.”

She eventually discovered Roman Catholic Womenpriests, which Kim describes as a progressive movement for reform in the RC church and was accepted into the program of preparation leading to ordination into a different model of church and priesthood: one of justice, non-violence, inclusivity. For the many who are experiencing a spiritual stirring of their own, Kim says “our world is experiencing a profound awakening, and people everywhere are recognizing that the old ways are no longer working. Many people are going outside their former religious boundaries and finding that God is within. God is not “up there”; God lives in us and we in God. This changes everything and is bringing about new awareness and a rebirth of all things.”

More than ever, Kim’s life is full with spiritual training, reading feminist theology, exploring current theology, being a music teacher and participating in yoga. “Yoga feeds me in many ways, both physically and spiritually,” she says. “I love it!”

Within the Roman Catholic Womenpriests, Kim is now a Deacon, completing studies and preparing to be ordained as a Priest in the spring of 2010.

SL

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DECEMBER 2009

31

BY CANDICE SCHULTZ

A

t 65, Don Brown is enjoying retirement by changing his routine, not slowing down. The Winnipeg native, who had polio as a child, is a recreational golfer who tries to keep every day fresh by staying active, both physically and mentally.

Don, a Victoria-based retiree, began golfing in his late teens and early twenties. Like most people, he played simply for recreation.

“It was just a fun thing to do on Saturday morning with the guys,” says Don. Over time, Don put away the golf clubs, but still stayed active. While he worked at a multi-purpose fitness club in Calgary in his 40s, Don picked up his clubs again. He went out with some friends and, soon after, found himself immersed in the world of golf club management - a profession that would take him to retirement.

“I’ve been lucky,” he says. “I’ve had the opportunity to play some really nice courses across Canada and into the

United States that I might not have been able to if I had not been involved in the business.”

In 1993, Don left the multi-purpose facility for the Highlands Golf Club in Edmonton, where he spearheaded the construction of a new clubhouse. Don and his wife, Carol, eventually moved to Victoria, where he managed the Victoria Golf Club. There, he was part of the 100th anniversary of one of the world’s longest-running international dinner clubs, an experience he remembers fondly. When his contract with the club expired, however, Don chose not to renew.

Don, then 59 years old, wasn’t ready to retire. He took a three-year contract in Prince George, where he facilitated the sale of a golf course that had been destroyed by pine beetles. Before they went, Don and Carol were faced with an important decision: where to retire once the contract in Prince George expires.

The couple considered settling down in Carol’s birthplace, Kelowna, where they had friends and family nearby. The de-

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SENIOR LIVING

Photo: Carol Brown

Breaking with Routine

cision came to Don and Carol when they were walking along the beach in Victoria.

“We stopped and looked at each other and said, ‘what is it we like doing?’ And this is exactly it. Being outside in January or February walking with a windbreaker on, playing golf, or whatever,” says Don. Don and Carol have been enjoying an active life as retirees for two years, now. When they returned to Victoria, the couple joined the Gorge Vale Golf Club, which allows them to stay fit and socialize with other golfers.

“We both like to golf, and it’s part of my retirement routine,” says Don. “I wanted to golf two or three times a week, for a number of reasons, partly for exercise and partly because we both like to golf.”

Although golf is part of his routine, Don says that he enjoys mixing it up when he has a chance.

“In the summer, we like to get on the bikes and, in the winter, we like to walk around the Gorge Park,” says Don. “It keeps us active. I also do some volunteer things that I enjoy.”

In the summer, Don volunteers for many of the summer festivals in Victoria, including Jazzfest and the Tall Ships Festival.

“It’s nice to have something other than the daily routine,” he says. “There’s gotta be a carrot out there that gives you; something to look forward to, rather than getting into a rut of a daily routine.”

Don even switches it up on the golf course. Although he and Carol play on a regular basis, Don goes out with a group of men on Saturdays. Each week, they bet on holes, then, any money that’s won goes into a pool. By the end of the year, the group has collected enough money to go on a road trip.

“Mentally, betting helps to keep you sharp, because you have something on the line, you have to make that putt. This way, you have to concentrate and try to motivate yourself to play well.”

To Don, it’s important to stay active in order to keep his body and mind in shape.

“For me, what I think is important, is your health. I had polio when I was young, which is part of the reason why I stay active,” says Don. “The doctors once said, ‘Keep doing stuff, because if you stop, you’ll seize up and you’ll never get it going.’ The other thing that’s important is to keep your mind active. I go on the Internet and use my computer a lot.

I try and keep up with it, learn what’s new in technical areas, not necessarily because I need it anymore, but because it’s fun to do.”

Don admits that age has brought on aches and pains that likely wouldn’t affect him if he wasn’t so physically active.

His goal, though, is not to give in.

“If I quit golfing or wasn’t cycling, my shoulder and back wouldn’t bother me, but then what? What would I do? It’s important to use your brain and use your body. Those two things make you healthier in old age. Don’t quit.”

SL

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33

BY RENATE G. JUSTIN

Off My Rocker Storytime.

Photo: Alice Nightengale-Luhan

“Y

ou are a what?” My friend asks incredulously.

“I have become a nanny.”

“At your age? You must be off your rocker.”

No, I am quite sane and have to admit that rejoining the workforce was a good decision. My sojourn in the retirement home was pleasant, but expensive. At times, I felt lonely and missed the daily contact I had with patients as a family physician.

My volunteer jobs did not fulfill my need to contribute to society. I am bent by osteoporosis, 82 years old, but still have the energy to hike mountains.

When the opportunity arose to look after four-year-old Lilly and six-year-old Ruth, I hesitated. I did not relish moving to a large city, did not want to leave my friends, and did not look forward to having restricted hours again. After several months of cogitating, however, I decided to give “nanny-hood” a try.

“Reflections” MAIL-IN ORDER FORM Reflections, Rejections, In 1932, the Nazis expelled the and Other Breakfast Foods Name_____________________________________ great-grandparents of Ruth and Lilly,

by Gipp Forster my father’s distant relatives, from Address___________________________________ A collection of Gipp’s humorous their homeland, Germany. They fled to City______________________________ Prov ____ and nostalgic columns. A wonderNorth America and established a mediPostal Code____________ Ph _________________ ful read for Reflections, cal practice in Forest Hills, New York.

Make cheque ���������� yourself, and a ____ BOOKS @ $10.00 each = $_________ payable to and Other Breakfast Foods In 1939, they rescued my family thoughtful gift SHIPPING ($3.95 PER BOOK) = $_________ Senior Living from the Nazis by sponsoring the affifor friends and SUBTOTAL = $_________ MAIL TO: family members. davits we needed to emigrate. It is not GST (5% on SUBTOTAL) = $_________ Reflections Book Offer 128 pages our relationship, but gratefulness and 153, 1581-H HillTOTAL = $_________ side Ave., Victoria REDUCED PRICE friendship that has continued our fami$10.00 BC V8T 2C1 lies’ connection over four generations Please allow two weeks for shipping.

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34

SENIOR LIVING

A Collection of Published & Unpublished Writings

by Senior Living Columnist Gipp Forster

– and now led to this job offer.

My workday starts a little before 7 a.m. each weekday morning and I get home at about 6 p.m. Lilly and Ruth’s parents both work and have long days at their office jobs.

Lilly, my little one, is a sprite, slight blonde and small for her age. She has a generous spirit and impatiently awaits the day she will be allowed to go to school. Ruth has remarkable eyes, as blue as the Colorado sky. She is eager to learn and does her homework without protest. We are working on improving her neatness.

We go for walks almost every day, study the flowers and trees, end up at the playground and return home for �������������������������������� naps. We also play Monopoly, a game I never liked, but ��������������������������� which teaches my banker, Ruth, good mathematical skills. ��������������������� After her nap, Lilly snuggles on my lap and either Ruth or I read stories to her. I also like to make up and tell stories. ������������������������������ This skill was useful while I was practising medicine. I remember an apprehensive little girl who had to have her �������������������������������� hip aspirated. Once she was positioned on the X-ray table, I started to tell her a story about a family of puppies. She ����� Call calmed down and, by the time the puppies had all grown ������������������������������������� up, the procedure was finished. At that point, the little girl ������������������������������ ��������������������� did not want to go home because she wanted to hear the rest of the story.

Now, I tell Lilly and Ruth never-ending stories about ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������ Schnippelienchen, a tiny fairy, and her friend Pixie.

These ����������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� two fairies have been long-time members of our family and entertained my grandchildren when they were Lilly and Ruth’s age. My own children could not hear enough about Do you qualify for the Disability Tax Credit?

Nixe, a loyal dog, and his adventures. The members of the young audience, the children, are always woven into the story as active participants. I also tell stories about the “olden days” when we had no television, cellphones or computers, but picked blueberries on the heath.

The girls have long hours at school, and I make their free time available for imaginative play. They love being Many people think they do not qualify, or are intimidated kittens, a game that, in the beginning, involves me because by the process. Some have tried and were denied by CRA I serve them tiny dishes of milk on the floor. After that, they due to technical errors. With a 95% success rate we can help! Our average tax reimbursements are over $5,000 are off on their own. They build basket beds, have fancy and can be retroactive up to 10 years. names like Silver Mist and Gold Sparkle, and meow apUnless we are successful you pay nothing. propriately. They tell each other “I am a studying kitty” and We concentrate on ensuring you get what the law entitles “I am a playful kitty.” you to. Visit us online to complete our evaluation form or Downsides to the job? I don’t get to see my friends for more information on the extensive list of conditions that may qualify for the disability tax credit. who live an hour-and-a-half away. Public transportation Call today for your free eligibility assessment! is unavailable on weekends when I am free. Reading and writing are confined to nap time, as they were when my own children were seven and four years old. That means I barely get my papers organized when I hear Lilly calling Linda Chornobay “Oma, may I get up?”

Disability Refund Specialist As so many times in the past, I have to choose priorities: (250) 514.2699 or linda@enabledfinancial.ca self indulgence and enrichment, going to interesting adult 550-2950 Douglas St. classes, learning more about writing, or being a caretaker. www.enabledfinancial.ca I thoroughly enjoyed the practice of medicine. For me, it Get Fi$cal About Your Disability was about caretaking, helping people to develop their goals

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Ron Bannerman (1945 – 2009)

Photo: Alice Nightengale-Luhan

T

Making mud pies.

and reach their potential by maintaining good health. Also, in the past, I have been deeply committed to enabling people to become educated. My expectation is that both these passions, caretaking and furthering education, might find fulfillment if I decide to take the risk, give up my leisure, in order to watch over Lilly and Ruth.

What do I hope to contribute to the girls’ lives? I want to teach them to have a thirst for knowledge, to love to read, to be honest and not use force to settle differences of opinion.

I want them to be generous, and tolerant of those who are different from them. I would like to instill in them a sense of quietude; a peacefulness that they can draw on when they are under

pressure, tense or disturbed.

I want them to appreciate art, poetry, music and the mountains as a source of joy and beauty in their lives. I won’t live long enough to achieve all that, but I can make a beginning.

One disagreement the girls and I have is who loves whom the most.

Lilly always ends the day with: “Good night, Oma. I love you. I love you more than you love me.”

This discussion, who loves whom most, can go on for some time and stay unresolved. What a delight to have someone tell me several times a day “I love you” and then give me a hug.

There is nothing better! Well worth the free time I gave up. I made the right SL decision to become a nanny.

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SENIOR LIVING

he publishers of Senior Living magazine were greatly saddened by the death of one of their longest and most loyal supporters. Ron Bannerman of Cumberland BC passed away suddenly on November 9 at the early age of 64.

Ron and his wife Cindy distributed Senior Living in the Comox Valley practically since the first month it was published over five years ago.

Ron is well known in his community, having served as a school teacher and principal for many years. As much as teaching was his profession, history was his passion and he loved to combine the two. After retiring from teaching, Ron began offering tours of the Comox Valley area.

It was through this avenue that we were introduced to Ron. After we published an article about Cumberland, Ron began spreading copies of Senior Living around the community, and found people asking how they could get regular copies of the magazine. Ron suggested we begin distributing in the Comox area and offered his services to make sure copies were placed in appropriate locations.

Always ready to listen, to encourage, and to give thoughtful feedback, we came to value greatly the relationship that grew out of this “chance” meeting with Ron and Cindy.

We will miss the enthusiasm with which Ron promoted our magazine, but we will miss Ron most of all. His positive energy, mischievous smile and engaging laugh raised the spirits of all with whom he came into contact, ours included.

Our deepest sympathy is extended to his family, and especially Cindy. Our love and thoughts are with you.

SL

SCAM ALERT

Let ADT help you protect the things you value most.

BY ROSALIND SCOTT

Smart Shopping Tips for the Holidays

D

uring the busy shopping season, consumers like to use debit and credit cards.

However, scammers often see this as a great opportunity for fraud.

According to the Canadian Bankers Association, Canada ranks second in the world for debit card usage. In 2008, Interac reported a total dollar loss for cardholders to be approximately $104 million with 148,000 ATM cardholder victims. As for credit card related frauds, Canadian Bankers Association statistics show losses of $407 million.

Sadly, most of the time, we’re only aware of how prevalent debit and credit card fraud is after it happens to us.

To protect yourself against debit and credit card frauds, Better Business Bureau would like to offer the following advice this holiday season: If you are shopping in-person: Check the PIN pad to see if it has been tampered with before handing over your debit card. Look for raised screws on the back, the absence of a serial number, or if the machine looks like it doesn’t fit.

Think twice about your habits. Convenience is the key factor of why we use debit and credit cards for purchases.

However, you may want to consider only using ATMs at bank branches, not at convenience stores, since bank security cameras can offer evidence that fraudulent withdrawals with your debit card were not made by you.

Check your bank and credit card statements often. Call the card provider or institution at once, if you are suspicious about anything on your account.

If you are shopping online: Do not click pop-up ads. These ads show up on e-commerce sites after you’ve made a purchase with your debit card. The pop-up promises cash-back rewards once you click “Yes” on the ad. But you may not realize that you’re agreeing to automatically sign up for a company’s online membership service.

Unless you cancel, your card will get charged every month indefinitely.

Don’t fall for phishing. You click on a link in an e-mail purportedly from your bank and end up at a website where you’re asked to enter and “verify” your debit card number or PIN number. Your bank would not contact you by e-mail to verify information, so do not fall for the phishing trap.

Confirm your online purchase is secure – always look in the address box for the “s” in https:// and in the lowerright corner for the “lock” symbol before paying. If there are any doubts about a site, BBB recommends rightclicking anywhere on the page and selecting “Properties.” This will let you see the real URL (website address) and the dialog box will reveal if the site is not encrypted.

BBB wishes you a safe holiday season, with a reminder to trust your gut.

For more tips like these, visit us at SL vi.bbb.org If you believe you have been the target of a scam, call the Better Business Bureau Vancouver Island at 250-386-6348 in Greater Victoria or at 1-877-826-4222 elsewhere on the Island, so others can n Spector E-mail benefit from your Ro experience. info@vi.bbb.org

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BYGONE Treasures View of Roatan from Valor

The Stuff in Your Stocking

W

ith every respect to other cultures and ethnicities, the memories I’d like to share here are not about “winter festival” or “seasonal celebrations,” they’re about Christmas.

During our first winter in Canada on Vancouver Island, we lived in an old rented house with a sawdust burner for heat; family transport was a bicycle; and my Dad was out of work.

My sister and I were enrolled in Catholic school, and I was overwhelmed by my classmates’ excitement regarding the Christmas presents they expected to receive. With a career in accountancy decades in the future, even at age six, I knew my folks had little money. I was fine with that, and whiled away my time looking at toy photos in the Eaton’s catalogue.

We snipped holly from a neighbourhood tree (without fear of arrest or being sued), Christmas cards from Ireland and Wales were hung on string, and Mom planned dinner and made pudding. But as the big day grew closer, I dreaded returning to school to hear my friends recite their lists of what Santa had left beneath the tree. “I got a Red Ryder BB gun.”

“I got a whole set of Cameron Highlanders toy soldiers.”

“What did you get, Michael?” “Umm, well...” On the Richter scale of anxiety, I was off the chart. There’s still a groove on my back where the cold sweat trickled down.

The previous Christmas in Wales, Santa had visited our little school in Fishguard Harbour and given everyone a present. When my turn arrived, Santa was obviously anxious to return to his reindeer and eggnog, and reaching into his sack, he thrust into my eager trembling hands, a doll! The stricken look on my face would have won an international photo award. Another delve into the sack, and I was given an early 1930s tin wind-up auto, well over a foot long. Alas,

Christmas at Craigdarroch

New Ideas and Old Favorites Our Museum shop is brimming with wonderful gift ideas for people of all ages, ranging from toys and educational games to Pashmina shawls and jewellery.

Memberships to the Castle make great gifts!

Gift Shop Phone: 250-592-1225 Open 7 days a week 1050 Joan Crescent (at Fort), Victoria, BC www.thecastle.ca

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38

SENIOR LIVING

when emigration day came, it wouldn’t fit in the shipping

BY MICHAEL RICE tea chest and was abandoned in the farmhouse. Likely made by the toy company Marx, it would be worth several thousand dollars on today’s market.

Christmas stockings in our home were traditional. At the foot of our beds, we found one of Dad’s work socks containing some candies, nuts in the shell, an orange in the toe and (wait for it), a pair of socks. Stockings now seem to come with an overflow box with as many wrapped presents as kids expect to receive in the main round.

Sadly, so many children’s modern gifts are not “keepers.”

Their future is bleak due to the huge numbers produced and sold in response to blitz advertising and peer pressure to have the latest toy. When next year’s candidate arrives, this year’s lot will be sold off at garage sales along with Beanie Babies and Tickle-Me-Whatevers.

For those of you who grew up in a simpler time, you may have received some gifts that have considerable collector interest today. I’ve included a few examples with online values, and I can hear the cries of anguish “I had one of those!” all over the Island. Remember that condition and other factors may affect the values noted, some of which may make your eyes water. A 1968 Beano Annual $55; 1949 Superman comic book $85; Gene Autry cap pistol $135; 1930s boxed Shirley Temple Doll $475; 1931 Buddy L dump truck $1,500; Amos & Andy boxed Fresh Air Taxicab $1,000; and a Marklin handpainted horse drawn beer wagon $9,000.

If you haven’t looked at your early toys in years, consider selling them and investing in your grandchildren’s RESPs, as well as dropping some cash in a Salvation Army kettle. If you need a hand identifying or valuing your old toys, please e-mail me, as I’m always happy to help.

But I can’t end without telling the rest of the story. After we’d looked in our stockings, and it was time to open presents, I had faint expectations. But there, tucked away among the clothing (some new and some mended), were two packets with my name on them that didn’t squish when poked. Somehow, Mom had found 39 cents and bought me a little plastic clicker pistol and a small rubber pirate’s sword. After dinner, I tore into the street waving them about. I would fit in! I could SL brag! I was in heaven! It was a wonderful Christmas.

Comments and suggestions for future columns are welcome and can be sent to Michael Rice PO Box 86 Saanichton BC V8M 2C3 or via e-mail to fenian@shaw.ca

Classifieds BUSINESS / VIRTUAL ASSISTANT Correspondence; general bookkeeping; faxes; document editing/finishing; office organizing. Business services for small businesses and individuals. 100% Confidential. CHW Inc. 250-886-3975. sparebrain1@gmail.com SAANICH VOLUNTEER SERVICES seeks male volunteers to visit male clients, drive, do home repairs. To help a Saanich nieghbor call 250-595-8008.

WANTED: OLD POSTCARDS, stamp accumulations, and pre-1950 stamped envelopes. Also buying old coins, medals and badges. Please call Michael 250-652-9412 or email fenian@shaw.ca THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU of Vancouver Island is located at 220-1175 Cook St., Victoria BC V8V 4A1. Toll-free phone line for Up-Island 1-877-826-4222 (South Island dial 250-386-6348). www.bbbvanisland.org E-mail: info@bbbvanisland.org COLLECTOR SEEKING vintage/collectable cameras, binoculars and microscopes. Nikon, Leica, Contax, Rolleiflex, Zeiss, Canon, etc. Mike 250-383-6456 or e-mail: msymons6456@telus.net WRITTEN A BOOK? Aldridge Street Editing can get your manuscript print-ready. Transcription - Editing - Cover Design - Book Layout. www.aldridgestreet.com Call 250-595-2376.

HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE - Would you like a little assistance? Meal preparation, light housekeeping, laundry, shopping, appointments, or respite. We also hire seniors.

Call 250-382-6565.

WANTED ROOM AND BOARD. Quiet, clean, 40’s male.

Will trade chores for lower rent. Or house sitting. Call John 250-891-2489.

CITY HAUL JUNK AND BRUSH REMOVAL will hang lights. Clean gutters, rake leaves, deliver large gifts and christmas trees. John 250-891-2489.

UP TO $5000 PAID FOR OLD PRE-1970’S GUITARS by Fender, Gibson, Gretsch etc. Estate appraisals undertaken.

30 years experience. Call John Newman 250-537-9197.

RUTH M.P HAIRSTYLING for Seniors in Greater Victoria.

In the convenience of your own home! Certified Hairdresser. Call - 250-893-7082.

USING HYPNOSIS YOU CAN MANAGE: stress, pain relief, habit control. Tap into motivation and creativity. Nohands-on deep relaxation. Safe, comfortable, confidential.

Judith Grey, Registered Clinical Counselling Hypnotherapist. 250-388-3925.

FOOT CARE NURSE with years of experience offering in-home visits. “Nursing Your Feet to Better Health.” 250592-4788.

AUGUST 2009 VANCOUVER ISLAND

Senior Living Special Housing Edition

Up-to-date listings of senior housing facilities throughout Vancouver Island, including Independent/Supportive Living, Assisted Living and Complex Care.

This guide is an indispensable resource to:

• seniors looking for alternative housing • seniors moving to Vancouver Island from other parts of BC or out of province • children of seniors who are assisting their parent to select a housing option • professionals who work with seniors or their families • businesses that provide services to seniors

Listings include addresses and contact information, housing costs, number of units in the housing complex, hospitality services, optional home care services, amenities and security features.

TO ORDER a copy...

Please mail a cheque for $5.25 ($5 plus GST), along with your name, phone number and address, to Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1. We will mail you a copy of this resourceful housing guide upon receipt of payment.

LEARN COMPUTER BASICS PRIVATELY AT HOME. Surf the net, email, exchange photos, twitter, pay bills online, contact family and friends. I’m a computer-savvy, senior lady with patience. Connect with the world. Stimulate your brain. Macintosh or Microsoft. Hourly fee. Victoria 250-516-5980.

HISTORIAN FOR HIRE. I can help you capture your personal or family history and genealogy, for the benefit of your children and grandchildren. In Victoria, 250-477-6989.

LION KING depart Courtenay, Parksville & Qualicum.

Great Xmas gift! $189 Coach, ferry & ticket. Aug 4 matinee.

Island Fever Travel 1-800-874-7937.

PERSONALS 62 YEAR PROFESSIONAL WOMAN interested in meeting male friend, enjoys travel, friends, good food and wine, theatre, books. 250-589-4411.

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING

$30 for 20 words or less. $1.25 per extra word. BW only.

Boxed Ad - Small (2.2 x 1.2) $110. Boxed Ad - Large (2.2 x 2.4) $210. Add BW Logo - $25. Red spot color 10% extra. Plus 5% GST. All Classified ads must be paid at time of booking. Cheque/Credit Card accepted. Ph. (250)479-4705 or toll-free 1-877-479-4705. Deadline: 15th of the month. Make cheque payable to: Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1

We Got Results through Senior Living!

My husband Bob and I were sitting in Ricky’s restaurant in Cloverdale one morning and I noticed the Senior Living Magazine at the entrance. I am always looking for various avenues to get our tours out to the senior market.

I was very impressed with the blend of informative articles, advertising, layout and also the distribution of the magazine.

I contacted RaeLeigh, in the sales department, and she suggested to go three issues. Being the ultimate skeptic I said no, just one issue. I did get some inquiries on our first ad so I agreed to two more issues. RaeLeigh was correct when she said that it takes three issues to see results.

I know now exactly when the issue is out. Our phone starts ringing.

You will definitely see Pitmar Tours in future issues so join Bob and I on one of them and you will see why we are having so much fun.

Happy Coaching!

Bob and Teresa Marshall, Pitmar Tours

DECEMBER 2009

39

OCTOBER 2009 39

Theatre Icon and Impresario

In this Q & A interview, Brian speaks about family, finding balance, and why he has given his life to this “ephemeral art form” called theatre.

Gail Kirkpatrick: Thirty years ago, you started Persephone Theatre in Saskatoon with Janet and Susan Wright.

Why Blue Bridge and why now? Does it have anything to do with this time of your life?

Brian Richmond: I have grown to love a Victoria a great deal; it is very rich culturally and theatrically. Personally and emotionally, it saddens me to see all these talented young people go off to other cities; I wanted to work with these young artists again and watch their talents grow, and I think the city wants to see this too.

Even more personal, I am in my early 60s, feeling grateful to be in my 60s and feeling healthy, more or less, but none of us should be flippant or misuse the concept of time. Time be40

SENIOR LIVING

comes more and more important as one moves through life, and this idea [of a new company] in some form has been sitting inside of me for such a long period; I thought I should just do this thing.

BY GAIL KIRKPATRICK

GK: The three plays (As You Like It, Death of a Salesman and The Fantasticks) were well received by audiences and critics. How do you measure success?

BR: I see theatre as more like sports; you are only as good as your last race or game. As soon as you get into a mindset of I’ve achieved this, or I’ve achieved that, then you are finished inside of yourself, and certainly the theatre is not finished inside of me.

Success in any theatrical venture is really measured by how effective the storytelling process is for this moment in time. It doesn’t matter whether you are creating the most experimental work or the most conservative work.

What matters is “Does this story need to be told and are we telling it effectively for the audience?” “Is it important for our time?”

Personally, there is no experience in the world that fills me with more joy than when I am in rehearsal for a play, that is where I am in my element and where I exist best of all.

There are very few art forms concerned with the temporary that which is now, and that which does not try to build a shine to itself in the future. It is an ephemeral art form, and I love that aspect of it. That’s why I have dedicated my life to doing it.

GK: The Blue Bridge company of players performed as if they had been together for many seasons – bonded to each other and the plays. Is there a difference between working with young actors and actors who are more experienced?

Photo: Gail Kirkpatrick

B

rian Richmond has taught at McGill, Concordia, Simon Fraser, York, Waterloo, and Toronto Universities as well as the National Theatre School of Canada. He served as artistic director of Montreal’s Playwrights Workshop, Thunder Bay’s Magnus Theatre, and Toronto’s Theatre Passe Muraille before becoming Chair of the University of Victoria’s Theatre Department, and he is a threetime winner of the Dora Mavor Moore Award. As dramaturge, he has assisted playwrights like Sharon Pollock and Tomson Highway to create producible works for the stage.

This past summer, with a like-minded board and some generous “blue” donors, Brian planted a new professional theatre company at the Royal McPherson theatre in Victoria, near the bridge after which the company is named – Blue Bridge Repertory Theatre.

BR: There is more of a difference in how you direct highly skilled actors versus actors who are learning their skills.

This living art is carried in the human body. Blue Bridge takes those who are carrying that art within them, those who have had experience in encountering that art within themselves and younger artists who are just beginning to dis-

cover this, and we give them a chance to work together. We hope that through this process the living art lives on.

GK: Who were your mentors?

BR: Lecoq [International Theatre School Jacques Lecoq-Paris] was a great mentor and teacher to me, as were Laurie Lynds at Burnaby South and Joy Coghill. Joy gave me some early professional experiences in Vancouver’s Holiday Theatre.

Lecoq was about understanding theatre through silence, moving from silence to words. He was so full of intellectual and creative joie de vivre; it was a transformative experience.

GK: Were you directed at an early age?

BR: I believe there is something innate in us that leads us toward who we are going to be – something mysterious. It could be explained in a biological or metaphysical way, but I don’t think it is any accident that I have been drawn to what it is that I do.

My cats always come to mind when I think about these things. I have twin cats; they could not be two more different creatures. Is that explained by environment? No, there is something innate in Tilli and Polli that makes them distinct creatures.

GK: What are your views on arts funding?

BR: Well, I’ve always believed that politics should be in the work not in soapboxing. It’s bad enough for the arts council to be decimated, which now may not be as bad as it looks, but it is still very serious, then to go into alternate funding like the gaming commission, and to introduce the HST, which will rid the arts of an exemption.

When ticket prices go up, audiences will think that Blue Bridge has raised ticket prices, which is not the case.

Some people think the arts depend on grants and donations and are not

really a business, and by not being a business, they become a frill of society. But that is just not true. Arts are vital, not just in expressing who we are, but vital as an economic force. When people are going to the theatre, they are likely going out to a restaurant or paying for parking.

It’s no accident that the Greeks put the arts into the centre of their culture; it’s no accident that the Medicis put money into the arts, and it’s not an accident that our political forefathers dedicated [one-third of] the images in our parliamentary windows to some form of the arts.

GK: You have already set the works for Blue Bridge’s next season. What are the plans for next year?

BR: Blue Bridge sold 809 season tickets with a somewhat late start this year. But we had 550 re-subscribing by the end of October, so we are a long way ahead of this past season. We are also adding to our board of directors.

Blue Bridge also has more flexibility and less institutional memory and can try new things. This company will rely on its ability to build audiences.

GK: What are the personal challenges you face as you continue in this career?

BR: Balance and trying to find the centre – constantly trying to find the centre that will keep my life in balance is what I am doing.

Brian Richmond is the Blue Bridge President and Producing Artistic Director. The Encore season begins June 2010. He also directed Romeo and Juliet at the UVIC Phoenix Theatre in November.

Blue Bridge Theatre will be presenting It’s a Wonderful Life – The Radio Play at the McPherson Theatre on December 19. Janet Wright from Corner Gas, Thea Gill from Queer as Folk and Jacob Richmond are featured.

SL

Embrace the Journey - A Care Giver’s Story

by Valerie Green The very personal story of her own journey as a care giver to her elderly parents. This is a story which will touch many hearts and be relevant for numerous adult children who, in midlife, are faced with a similar challenge and must make agonizing decisions and choices. It painfully addresses the problems encountered of ‘aging in place’ and the desire for loving couples to stay together in their home until the end of their lives. 96 pages.

Softcover. 5.5” x 8.5” Published by Senior Living. Price $14.95 To order, please send cheque for $19.84 ($14.95 plus $3.95 S&H & GST) payable to Senior Living. MAIL TO: Embrace Book Offer c/o Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1

Please include your clearly written shipping address and phone number. Allow two weeks for shipping.

DECEMBER 2009

41

Mind GAMES

Crossword PUZZLE Across 1. American tree having dark brown heavy wood 6. Roman general 10. The Hunter 12. Told an untruth 14. Lunatic 16. Arizona city 17. Haul 20. In a busy manner 22. Deprived of the sense of hearing 23. Hearing organs 25. Thoroughfare 27. Cereal grass 28. Ostrich-like bird 29. Adventurous expedition 31. Evening 34. Abandoned 36. Graph 38. Expressive of contempt 39. Manner of conducting oneself

41. Takes by theft 44. Barked 46. Male name 47. Inquire of 50. Mistake 52. 10 cents US 53. Transmit 55. Climbs 57. Consume 58. Experiment 59. Implement for cutting grain 61. Separate by a sieve 62. Lubricate again 63. Tentacle 64. Tediousness

Down 1. Radiators 2. Disparaging term for English immigrants to Australia or New Zealand

3. Bedouin 4. Nasal cavity 5. Raises 7. Sledge 8. One who points 9. Refund 11. Nigerian currency 13. Guard against assault 15. Long narrow openings 18. Island of Hawaii 19. Twist suddenly 21. Pines for 24. Walk nonchalantly 26. Distinguishing characteristic 30. In fact 32. Roof overhang 33. Notes alternating rapidly with other notes 35. A special loved one 37. Themes 39. Explosions 40. Mend 42. Capital of Peru 43. Rough design 45. Melodious 48. Letter cross-line 49. Cutting instrument 51. Black tea 54. The day of the month 56. Moved smoothly 60. Biblical high priest

ANSWERS

42

SENIOR LIVING

Photo: Jason van der Valk

ASK Goldie

derful times we shared? I just can’t think of any special incident that brought this about. –S.L.

Dear S.L.: Without the binding ties of marriage, there is little

BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED chance that you will regain the closeness that has disappeared in your relationship. Each of Dear Goldie: you is free to choose your path ahead.

Something has gone wrong in a seIf you did not have a disagreement rious relationship I have been in for that precipitated this change, there is about three years. a possibility you can discuss it like I am a widow in my early 70s; phys- adults and at least preserve a friendically well and active in community ship. A counsellor could help you in volunteer work. I have three wonder- this regard and volunteer counsellors ful children, four grandchildren and a are available. new great-grandchild now in the picYou can’t change events of the past ture. I treasure my independent life but but you can change your perception of have a very good relationship with my them. Let go of negative thoughts so family. positive thoughts can come in.

About four years ago, I met a gentleman who was divorced and we got Dear Goldie: along extremely well right away. A My wife and I have been happily close relationship developed, but nei- married for 45 years. We never had ther of us wanted marriage again. We children but enjoy our friends and each had our families and spent our their families. Life has really been time as a couple travelling and as vol- good to us health wise and I really anunteers in a local theatre group. ticipated retirement. We purchased a In the last six months, we seem to motorhome to go south in the winter have drifted apart. The spontaneous and have made plans to travel to other fun seems to be disappearing and, at countries. times, we now have little communicaThe problem is that now, when evetion. Is this possible after all the won- rything should be exciting and beck-

oning us to new adventures, my wife suddenly has no interest.

Goldie, I can’t understand what has come over her. She seems to have become a different person lately. She watches television but hardly talks about anything. What should I do?

–W.T. Dear W.T.: Your wife’s lack of interest in life may be a more serious matter than you realize. When someone undergoes a sudden personality change, they need the help of a professional. Get in touch with your doctor immediately and explain her sudden change in behaviour.

If your wife gets medical help now, you can plan to travel together in the SL near future.

SENIOR PEER COUNSELLING CENTRES Victoria 250-382-4331 Duncan 250-748-2133 Nanaimo 250-754-3331 Sidney 250-656-5537 Courtenay/Comox 250-334-9917 Salt Spring Island 250-537-4607 Port Hardy 250-949-5110

Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer.

W

ishing you health and happiness this Holiday Season

and throughout the New Year!

Leonard Krog, MLA

Lana Popham, MLA

Carole James, MLA

Scott Fraser, MLA

Maurine Karagianis, MLA

Nanaimo

Saanich South

Victoria-Beacon Hill

Alberni-Pacific Rim

Esquimalt-Royal Roads

leonard.krog.mla@leg.bc.ca

lana.popham.mla@leg.bc.ca

carole.james.mla@leg.bc.ca

scott.fraser.mla@leg.bc.ca

maurine.karagianis.mla@leg.bc.ca DECEMBER 2009

43

A NEW START

BY SHEILA MARTINDALE

C

hange is part of the human condition. As seniors, most of us have experienced a variety of transformations: loss, relocation, dislocation and adjustment. During these stressful times, we are usually surrounded by family and friends and supported by our community. We get through, survive and move on. We emerge stronger, with gratitude to those who have helped us. But what happens if those supports are not in place? When the only resources available are within ourselves?

Recently, I found myself in Victoria, several provinces and many thousands of kilometres away from the familiar.

As a senior with minimal finances, I needed to make a new life for myself. Retired and dealing with some health issues, I was without the contacts one makes through work. Where to begin? How to replace some of the elements of the life I left behind, and to combat the inevitable loneliness? Sitting in my apartment waiting for people was not an option.

I made a few mental lists: What was I interested in? What was I good at? How could I apply these things to make my

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G OLD NEW Your Jewellery is Our Specialty

www.barclaysjewellers.com 106-2187 Oak Bay Ave. 250-592-1100 44

SENIOR LIVING

life meaningful and perhaps help others? I began with the church. A staunch Anglican, I had been very active in my small home parish. Without a car, it was important to find a church I could get to easily. The only one within easy walking distance turned out to be the Cathedral. I checked it out – a massive gothic-style building, seating for 800+ people, four services per Sunday. Wow! Could I find a place in such a huge setting? Selecting a contemporary service, I began to attend regularly. It was summertime, and I blended in with the many visitors in this tourist town. People were friendly, but not effusive, and it took a while to be noticed. But as time passed, appeals were made for volunteers to assist with one activity or another. I responded, and was soon helping with some refreshments, since being handy in the kitchen was one of my strengths.

Another area of expertise was competency with computers and, before long, I found myself producing documents on my laptop. This led to a committee, phone and e-mail lists and meeting with small groups. I joined a church study group,

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO ACT FOR YOU IN YOUR SENIOR YEARS? F. Kenneth Walton, Q.C. Barrister & Solicitor Victoria BC (250)595-5368 Fax. (250)595-5378 • 35 years a lawyer • Compassion & integrity • Preparation of wills, representation agreements, power of attorney and health care agreements • Probate and estate processing including sale of estate goods • Will look after provision for your present healthcare needs or property management • Willing to accept appointment as executor of your will or as an attorney under a power of attorney or representation agreement • Will attend at your home • Will do estate court cases

Call me for a free consultation (250)595-5368

LEGION MANOR VICTORIA A Great Place to call

“HOME”

Quality Retirement Living at an Affordable Price Tranquil location on the beautiful Saanich Peninsula of Greater Victoria 7601 East Saanich Road, Saanichton

68 Lovely one-bedroom suites with balcony Monthly rate starting at $2090 (single), $2450 (couple) [Nov 2009]

Photo: Lauren Williams

Includes daily lunch/dinner, weekly housekeeping, emergency response system and more.

Sheila Martindale finds volunteering a great way to meet people and make friends in a new community. Here, she is serving tea at James Bay New Horizons Spooktacular Tea and Craft Sale.

and got to know like-minded individuals. My calendar was filling up!

Being a senior, I also connected with a couple of seniors’ centres and was soon in a women’s support group at one, and working as a volunteer receptionist (being a “people person” was on my “good at” list) at another. Folks began to know my name, and to care whether I was there or not.

Classical music is one of my passions, so I subscribed to the Symphony, which took a large chunk of my budget. In the position of having more time than money, I also joined the Volunteer Guild and began to assist with various fundraising activities – and meeting other music lovers in the process.

High on the list of what I really missed was having dogs, which had always been a big part of my former life. Living in a pet-free building, and these days not being in a position to pay for vet bills and the like, I had to find other ways to get my dog “fix.” Discovering I was not far from a leash-free park, I started to hang out with other people’s pets there, and at the many sidewalk cafés for which Victoria is famous. Not quite as good as having woman’s best friend around at all times, but close!

Establishing an identity and creating a new network in a strange place is neither quick nor easy. It requires patience and perseverance, and the obstacles may seem insurmountable, but it can be done. And this once lost and lonely senior now has new friends, interesting pastimes, improved self-esSL teem and a satisfying sense of belonging.

To book a tour or for other info, please phone 250-652-3261 E-mail: legionmanor@shaw.ca website: www.legionmanorvictoria.com

www.legionmanorvictoria.com

DECEMBER 2009

45

RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY RESOURCE DIRECTORY

RESOURCE DIRECTOR A concise reference guide of services and products offered by businesses and organizations on Vancouver Island

Live safely and independently in your own home

Low Overhead Prices from the Island’s only Mobile Showroom

www.bclifeline.com

• Service all makes and models • Sales of new and used scooters, powerchairs and walkers • Free in-home demonstration • Road-side assistance • Free service loaners • Financing • Processing secondary insurance claims • Safety orientation seminars

Contact the program nearest you.

Victoria Lifeline 1-888-832-6073 Eldersafe Support Services 1-866-457-8987

South Vancouver Island and Ladysmith

Nanaimo Lifeline Program (250)739-5770 or (250)947-8213 Mid Island, Cassidy to Bowser

Comox Valley Lifeline Society 1-866-205-6160 North Island, Cowichan Valley and Chemainus/Crofton

250-812-0400

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Moving? Downsizing?

We Can Help Get You Moving!

SENIOR RELOCATION SERVICES Free 1 Hour Consultation

(250)240-2816 Insured & Bonded

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• Companionship • Meal Prep.

• Housekeeping • Shopping • Errands • Respite & Personal Care

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The most trusted name in home health care • Better Business Bureau A+ rating • Consistent caregivers • RN-supervised staff • Not-for-profit - all proceeds go to improving quality of care 250-385-0444 www.eldersafe.com 46

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• 12-MONTH EXPOSURE • TO LIST YOUR BUSINESS IN THIS DIRECTORY, CALL 250-479-4705

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ORY

HERITAGE MANOR - DUNCAN (250)748-3488

Monthly rent from $2600 (includes all meals).

Laundry, housekeeping, hairdresser, transportation to appointments, bathing, personal care & medications. 24hr RCA on site. Beautiful grounds near Hospital. Family environment.

Brenda Ellis Certified Senior Advisor

Are you looking for an economical way to advertise your product or service?

Success in advertising isn’t a one shot effort. To get the best results, planning your advertising budget to extend over a year gives you the best bang for your buck.

Senior Living’s Resource Directory provides frequency at a price small businesses can afford. It keeps your company name consistently in front of consumers where they see it every month.

Call for more info.

(250)479-4705 Do you want to reach Mainland Customers?

We offer a Resource Directory in our Mainland magazine.

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A full day of activity and entertainment.

If you are over the age of 50, we invite you to come share your passion and interests with others at the 50+ Active Living Celebration.

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We are seeking individuals over the age of 50 who are actively engaged in personal interest such as sports, fitness, hobbies, crafts, art, writing, travel, learning, outdoors, collecting, volunteering, performing, etc. Applications must be submitted to the Event Planner for consideration. Selection begins January 1. Complete and send in your application as soon as possible.

Application fee: $15 to share an 8’ table or $25 for a 6’ table.

(Plus GST. Power if required is extra.)

Contact Jill Stefanyk, Event Manager McAllister Media 250.380.2299 jill@mcallistermedia.com DECEMBER 2009

47

Reflections THEN & NOW

BY GIPP FORSTER

CHRISTMAS TREE

W

e have an artificial Christmas tree. We’ve had one for years.

I like the old traditions as much as the next person. For many Christmases, I went to the lot faithfully to pick up my aromatic tree, fresh from the forest.

Then, in about 10 days to two weeks or so, the tree would be so dry (yes, I watered it) that if I had have shaken some pepper on it, it probably would have burst into flames.

I hear people talking about going to the forest to cut their own tree. I think of that first little seedling, struggling to grow, season after season reaching for the sun to grow five, six or seven feet tall. Then, unceremoniously chopped or sawed down to stand in some living room for a dozen days, only to be burned or tossed into a shredder.

These thoughts make me sad because I still believe in possibility and trees that talk if we take the time to listen. That’s why we turned to an artificial tree.

In fact, we have four of them: one in the living room and three in our display in the garage. We have tons of tree ornaments: baubles and beads, bulbs and lights, small toys, garland and so on. We save all that for the two in the garage. The other two are fibre optic, whatever that means. They need no decoration because their branches glow and pulsate with different colours. They’re really quite pretty – almost ethereal.

When I was a kid, you could buy a tree for 50 cents. It didn’t look like much! But when you put those old fragile bulbs on it and a string of big lights (compared to today’s) with that twisted red and white or blue and white 48

SENIOR LIVING

cord with the big round plug on the end, and two or three tons of tinsel to hide all the gaps, it almost looked magical!

I can still hear my mother scolding when I’d grab a handful of tinsel, “Place it, strand by strand. Don’t throw it! We need to use it again next year.”

And when it came time to take the tree down, we were directed on how to retrieve each strand of tinsel carefully so as not to break it. Then, lay it out neatly in a shoebox that was to be carefully lifted and never shaken.

I think we had the same tinsel for eight or nine years. I didn’t really care too much for tinsel after that.

Those old bulbs – yellow, green, red, blue – sure were hot to the touch!

If one went out, they all went out.

Trying to change the culprit bulb that dared to die in the Christmas season was quite an ordeal if you didn’t wait for the bulbs to cool. Many a blistered finger or fingers throbbed in nearly every home over the festive season.

There was always an old tinfoiltype star to sit on top of the tree. Battle-scarred and vulnerable, it would bravely take its place.

Nearly all the trees I saw, at that time, looked the same: nothing to get too excited about. Not like today!

Today, some trees can light up a city block all by themselves. Some are so magnificent it takes your breath away.

But then again, if you total up the costs of all the bangles and bows, the bulbs, ornaments, and lights, you could have almost bought a home in the old days.

A little exaggeration, I admit, but perhaps closer to the truth than not.

Christmas had an innocence about it in those days – at least for me: a qui-

etness that pervaded change and peace after a world war. No decorated trees on lawns or coloured lights on houses; a gently dressed tree sometimes standing in a living room window gave a gentle reminder of love and a season of goodwill.

I’m not saying I don’t like Christmas today and the abundance of decorations and the glittering trees dancing with the giggling lights. I love it! I try to be right in the middle of the explosion of celebration.

I’m simply saying that in the days of old, times were different, simpler and not as loud. But I felt sad for the tree that was cut down then to brag of festivity as much as I feel sorry for it now. I love the smell of the pine and the spruce and the balsam, but I can go to the forest anytime to enjoy them.

Our artificial trees have done (and will do) nicely thank you very much. I don’t have to burn them or shred them each year and it’s fun to awaken them in December and tell them it’s time to go to work again. Whether artificial or live, the Christmas tree reigns.

SL

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