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Bandersnatch VOLUME 43, ISSUE 09 | FEBRUARY 12, 2014 | FLAPPING OFF INTO THE NIGHT SINCE 1971

CEGEP History Course

We Are Owning the Podium

Flappy Bird

Sections

Designed to build upon the foundation laid down in high school, the course will seek to educate students on modern Quebec history. However, at the cost of a complementary course...

Four golds, three silvers and two bronze; what a start! This might just be the year that Canada’s ambitious “Own the Podium” campaign really sees us doing just that...

Flappy Bird is a game that most people either love or hate. The popularity of the game has amazed many people. It could have been part of one the elite favourite mobile games...

Campus Life .................................................... 2

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Arts and Culture ..........................................10

News ................................................................ 4 Science and Tech .............................................5 Sports .............................................................. 6 Entertainment .................................................7 Opinions ...........................................................8

Procrastinator ................................................11


CAMPUS LIFE

with Angela Brett

bandersnatchcampus@gmail.com

From Classroom to Cafeteria Soliciting a Change in our Food Service Provider

n the evening of Thursday, January 30, I was invited by a former teacher of mine, Mark McGuire, to attend the second “Food for Thought: The Future of Food Services at John Abbott College” consultation. Teachers, students, and staff members were all welcome to participate in the three-hour-long event. With the approaching expiration date of Sodexo, John Abbott College’s present food supplier, the Town Hall meeting’s focus was to discuss the changes we hope to see in our succeeding food provider. Not to my surprise, the College’s teachers and staff members far outweighed the number of students attending the meeting. However, the experience allowed us all to openly communicate about what we expect out of the ideal cafeteria environment (including foods sold at the Munch Box and in vending machines). The members of the meeting were divided into three small roundtable discussions, in which we were to begin giving suggestions for improving our campus’ food

services. Not by mere coincidence was the meeting held in the cafeteria, where catered food was offered to members of the consultation. The discussions touched upon various topics, from the choice of beverages sold on campus to contract exclusivity. Prevalent ideas that were discussed had to do with adopting sustainable methods for transporting, delivering and packaging foods. An overall consensus was made concerning the importance of healthier food options. A greater variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free meals should be made accessible. In addition, it is vital that the ingredients that make up our food are not extensive in length and incomprehensible to the average individual. Each discussion group played around with the concept of having organic and local food sold on campus. Buying our food from local farmers has a double advantage. Not only are we investing money into our own economy, but we are also saving the environment from a considerable amount of harmful greenhouse gas emissions. However, local food does not immediately imply organic. Would you

rather buy pesticide-free blueberries from Chile, or those covered in hazardous chemicals from a local farm? At the same time, selling affordable and healthy food is also essential since many students don’t have the luxury of spending seven dollars a day on a salad. Furthermore, by using our facilities to our advantage, we can potentially turn the cafeteria into a learning environment by informing students about what they’re consuming through television monitors. Education should surpass the confines of a classroom. At the end of the small roundtable discussions, each

group presented their main concerns and priorities. By having open discussions, we were able to provide our food service consultant, Kaizen Foodservice Planning and Design Inc., the company responsible for preparing a contract for our future food service provider(s), with useful feedback. We must demand change if we wish to see it become a reality. It is our responsibility to reach out, dispute and vocalize our concerns and desires within society. Above all, it is in our interest to prioritize our health, because after all, we only have one body; it is best that we take care of it.

Hey Abbotteers! Did you hear that the government may be imposing a mandatory Quebec History Course-possibly to replace a complementar y--and your Student Union reps have been asked for feedback on this? If you have any questions, come to SUJAC (P-101) to find out more. Head over to The Agora this Thursday February 13th, from 10:00-2:30 for the famous Valentine’s SUJAC-Club Day! Come and get hooked up with your

sweetie at the SUJAC ‘Marriage Booth’ for the perfect photo opportunity! Come and get free hugs & kisses (surprisingly sweet ones!) and lots of other Valentine’s treats. CSKY will be playing live, sign up for clubs, join Congress, and enjoy lots of fun activities. If you are interested in becoming a voice for the students, find out more about Congress at the SUJAC Club Day or come by SUJAC, P-101, to pick up a Congress Nomination Form. Student seats are available for Pre-U and

Technology students. This is your chance to be in a student leadership role and make decisions on behalf of the student population. Seats are also available on the College’s Academic Council (1 Regular and 3 replacement student seats) so, if you are interested in getting involved in a leadership role like this, come to P-222 on Monday, February 24th, at 5:30pm for the Academic Council Student Election, all students are welcome! “Never Fear, Charge Here”! This is the slogan by Gabriel Casola of Congress

chosen for the new SUJAC Charging Station that will be installed in the renovated Oval Coffee House opening soon! Never fear, when the Oval opens you will be able to charge your phones for free! Look out for the opening ceremony of the newly renovated and cool new Oval Coffee House (Herzberg Basement)! Everyone is invited! And don’t forget to drop by SUJAC, P-101, to relieve stress, pop some bubble paper, drop a line on the Whiteboard, or just come in and visit us!

Caroline Houle Opinions Editor

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BANDERSNATCH John Abbott College 21275 Lakeshore Road Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue, Quebec, Canada H9X 3L9 Phone: (514) 457-6610 ext. 5389 Fax: (514) 457-6091 Office: H-041 Web: www.bandersnatch.ca bandersnatchpaper@gmail. E-mail:

com

Emma Sutherland Editor-in-Chief

Elaine Huang Assistant Editor-in-Chief

Angela Brett Campus Life Editor

Zoe Quinn Shaw News Editor Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dina Willis Entertainment Editor

Andrew Grant Interim Arts Editor

Caroline Houle Opinions Editor

Elaine Huang Science & Tech Editor

Aaron Rogers Procrasinator Editor

Position Available Sports Editor

Zachary Hirsch Production Manager

Bradley Drew Bereton Assistant Production Manager

Brendan McGarry Webmaster

Position Available Photography Manager

Emily Ciccia Office Manager

B a n d e r s n at c h i s a s t u d e n t r u n alternative press at John Abbott College. It is published every two weeks and is partially funded by the Student Activities Commitee and by advertising solicited customers. Submissions are welcome and become property of Bandersnatch. Submissions must be sent via e-mail to bandersnatch@gmail.com and must be in Plain Text format (.txt) o r M i c r o s o f t Wo r d D o c u m e n t format (.doc). All submissions must include the full name and telephone number of the contributor, as well as the e-mail address if applicable. Bandersnatch reserves the right to reject submissions or to edit any submissions for length, legality, or clarity. Submissions should be a minimum of 350 words and a maximum of 650 words. Articles lower or above these parameters may be printed at the discretion of the executives. Spelling and grammar will not be corrected on submissions as it is the responsibility of the contributor to correct them. If you should have any questions or concerns, please contact us at our e-mail indicated above or visit us at the Bandersnatch office, located in the basement of Herzberg, room H-041 (across from the hallway entrance of The Oval).


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CAMPUS LIFE Ask Alice My “friend” added my girlfriend on Facebook and asked her for her number behind my back, all in the name of “studying”, and he even talked to me and didn’t mention anything about it. Should I tell him to take a step back and leave my girlfriend alone? The first thing you should do is speak to your girlfriend about how uncomfortable this situation makes you feel (that is, if you haven’t already). That way, she can be more attentive to how he acts around her in order to get a sense of what his true intentions are. With that said, you do not know the intentions of your friend unless you speak to him about it. They may be purely innocent, however, there is always the possibility of an imminent ulterior motive. Instead of being abrupt with him, subtly let him know that you’re aware of the situation. If either you or your girlfriend notices that perhaps he doesn’t have the right intentions, then you should clearly tell him that you don’t appreciate him seeing your girlfriend (for whatever reasons they may be) without him having the courtesy to ask you if it’s okay, and that it may be best if he stops what he’s doing. Where is the best place to study in silence at Abbott? The library is not a quiet enough place in my opinion. The library is more peaceful depending on the time of day. Perhaps you should try renting out a study room in the library if you’re having trouble concentrating. If you’re in need of a computer, the third floor of Penfield or the Language Lab in Penfield basement may be your ideal study area. One place I have yet to try is the Psychology study zone on the third floor of Hochelaga (every time I pass by it’s deserted). During the summer, I like studying in the Anne-Marie Edward building (the AirConditioning is an added bonus!) during the late afternoon, when the atmosphere is calmer. Happy studying!

Crush the procrastinarchy Improve Your Mental Health Through Time Management Bradley Drew Brereton Assistant Production Manager

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s we get farther and farther in the semester, the homework, projects and papers start piling up. Some people start working the moment they get the paper and have it done a week before, others take their time with it and the rest of us procrastinate all of these until the day or two before they’re due. What we don’t realize about what we’re doing is that it has a massive negative effect. After two to three hours of homework, studying or writing our ability to compose good quality work and retain what we read begins to take a downward plunge. We study or write sometimes for the entire night without even getting a wink of sleep. Well here’s the thing. If you do that you might as well not have studied at all. Your brain is not able to encode the

Image courtesy of Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

information you read or be able to draw upon it effectively. Some of us know that moment when you’re writing at 6 or 7AM, then you later read your writing and you swear an alien wrote it. It’s extremely important for your school work and most of all your mental health to get at least 5 to 6 hours of sleep. If you continually sleep 3 or so hours a day, your work and your social life will suffer. We need all that energy from to be able to process properly

what others say to us, to properly act and plan what we’re going to say. The final most important thing is to take breaks during those times where you have to study 6-7 hours straight. Every 2 hours give yourself a 30 minute coffee and bathroom break, it will greatly improve your ability to retain the information you’re studying and it will help prevent your writing ability from deteriorating. If you manage to do all of this it will help your psyche from

deteriorating, which is the main issue. It doesn’t matter if you pass the test if there is nothing left of you at the end. Still, many of us will continue to do this, so to help prevent procrastination and lower your stress level and prevent cramming, here are some extremely helpful tips on how to prevent procrastination. 1. Leave your familiar environment. For example, this means doing your homework at school or the library, a coffee shop, anything that is not your home. 2. Set a time to do it, if you say 4-5PM you have to do it at 4-5PM if you manage to keep with it, you will find it surprisingly easy to do it. 3: Start studying one week in advance and do thirty minutes to an hour a night, you will retain far more information and you will not have to go to bed at 3AM after studying for 6 hours.

Getting out of here How Abbott Can Help You on Your Way Angela Brett Campus Life Editor

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s much as we all love Abbott, eventually we’ll have to move on to bigger and better things. However, getting to these things isn’t always an easy trip. Thankfully, as an Abbott student you have access to plenty of resources to help get you started, specifically the newly renovated University Information, Career & Employment Centre. Located inside Student Services (H-148) the room (H-152), is filled with information, with several newly added computers to aid you in your research. While the physical room is set up mainly for autonomous and self-guided discovery, there are also specific personnel on hand on Wednesday mornings,

and all day Tuesday. Additionally, there will be academic advisors available to answer questions about university applications for Fall 2014 from 4 to 5:30 PM on February 13 th. 17 th, 19 th, 25 th and 27 th. Even better, if you have a quick question, Student Services has an advisor around daily from 10 AM-1 PM to help you. If you’re just generally looking to academic help, the Academic Success Center has plenty of workshops, on stuff like note taking, essay writing, exam strategies, time management and writing a letter of intent. The schedule is updated weekly, and is posted outside of (H-117) The center also has plenty of resources available to those in a career program, or simply looking to work immediately after CEGEP. The center is can

help you with everything, from CV writing, to keeping you up to date about potential job opportunities. Even if you don’t need them right away, don’t forget they’re there! They provide support to students up to a year after graduation. If you’re interested in a job, but only for the summer, the Student Employment Center can still help you! Their summer job fair will take place on Thursday, February 27 th from 9:30 AM to 3 PM in the Agora. It’s a perfect opportunity to meet with employers and apply for all types of summer jobs. Admission is free, but an entrance pass, which you can get from H-148, is required. Dress formally, and bring your CV. If you’re worried about yours, a  CV “QUICK REVIEW” clinic is being held to help you

prepare. CV Doctor tables will be available throughout the campus for a quick check up on February 19th, 20 and 25 – times and locations will be posted on the portal.  Employers present will include summer camps, golf courses, Costco, and banks. Get your summer employment lined up now, so you don’t have to worry later!

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NEWS

with Zoe Quinn Shaw

bandersnatchnews@gmail.com

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2014 Canadian Federal Budget What to Expect Gabriele Bavaro Staff Writer

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n Tuesday February 11, Jim Flaherty, the finance minister of Canada, will unveil the federal budget for 2014. Officially no big details about the budget should be released to the press before it is unveiled on February 11. However, there have been a few rumours flying about as every year. The budget will not be balanced this year as Conservatives had previously claimed. Instead while buying new shoes – it is a tradition for finance ministers to buy new shoes every time they present the annual budget – Jim Flaherty said that the budget would be balanced in 2015, just in time for the next federal election. Aside from the lack of a balanced budget this year,

the government is looking at once again at creating jobs and lowering taxes. However, few details on how this will be accomplished have been obtained. The government is also looking to maintain a 3 billion dollar risk fund that will be used only in the case of an emergency with the finance minister using the Alberta floods of last year as a prime example: “We need to do that because things happen, it’s a big country”. Flaherty is also using the occasion to downplay reports that he favors a weakened Canadian dollar, according to CTV News. Recent reports in weeks past suggested that he favored Canada having a weaker dollar in comparison to the United States. Essentially the budget is a preparatory one, intended as Jim Flaherty puts it, for

the government to “stay the course” for a balanced budget next year. This would see Canada finally, but slowly, reducing its massive deficit, the highest in Canadian history and the making of the Federal Conservatives once they came into power in 2006. The balancing of the federal budget and the creation of surplus to eliminate the federal deficit is a key election promise of the Conservatives who hope to have fulfilled that promise by the time of the 2015 federal elections. According to Financial Post, Flaherty has said that the federal surplus in the 2015-2016 year will be 3.7 billion dollars which is up from his original estimates of a just $800,000. This he claims is because of the “cautious” approach he is taking this year to eliminate unnecessary economic risk so that

Source: www.thecanadianpress.com

next year the government can reap the economic rewards. Some have cited the odd coincidence that the Conservatives are releasing their budget in February and not March like they usually do. Commentators on CTV News have suggested that the government is perhaps using the Olympics to hide some unsavory things in the budget or to minimize the

criticism of a broken promise to have the budget balanced this year while some economists quoted on CTV News and Financial Post have claimed that the government could have balanced the budget this year, but they waited for the benefits of doing so before the 2015 federal election. Whatever the case us Canadians are left with a big deficit for a bit longer than we thought.

mandatory cegep history course Quebec’s Proposed New Curriculum Mandeep Singh Contributor

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mandatory course to be implemented in fall 2014 by the PQ government will leave students with less freedom of choice. Designed to build upon the foundation laid down in high school, the course will seek to educate students on modern Quebec history. However, at the cost of a complementary course, will it be worth its value? Where complementary courses serve to broaden education and allow students to experience classes outside their field of study, the Quebec history course looks to be a simple rehashing of high school material, as it stands now. The course proposed and approved by Education Minister Marie Malavoy is

made up of a curriculum where various modern Quebec milestones would be explored, without defining what period would be considered “modern” and asking students to choose and examine one event closely as some sort of assignment, while giving no indication to how grades would be allotted. The course would explain every factor that has helped shaped Quebec, but would not allow students to actively compare other societies and cultures in a global context, to the one we live in. Although this is intriguing and quite idealistic, the truth is that it is only that. Clearly, after having read the outline, the content is vague and requires some precision in order to become a fullfledged course, but John Abbott has already begun formulating its own recommendations.

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Following a college-wide consultation, in which a draft of the upcoming Quebec History Course was reviewed by teaching staff, the administration and with student representation by SUJAC (Student Union of John Abbott College), a letter regarding the comments and remarks proposed would be sent later this month to the MESRST (Ministère de l’Enseignement supérieur, de la Recherche, de la Science et de la Technologie). An important issue brought up during the consultation was that instead of taking away the ability from students to learn about different disciplines, this course could diversify its syllabus by allowing different departments to teach iterations of it. A course like this would have the same structure as an English course; different sections that explore unique

Source: www.lapresse.ca/le-soleil

topics, but follow a common set of guidelines. Several hypothetical examples were mentioned as “the History and Importance of art in Quebec culture”, or “the technological achievement in energy and suitability”, but none of these are set in stone. In an era where everything is interconnected, promoting our province’s history, while simultaneously comparing it to other

civilisations would allow students to better understand their place in the world. Following these guidelines, the course could take a new and better direction, but it’s yet to be seen if they will be taken into consideration. Only when the final draft of this new Quebec History Course will become available, will we be able to see exactly what our government intends for us.


Science & Tech

with Elaine Huang

bandersnatchscience@gmail.com

Zoom into the future with the elio Aaron Rogers Procrastinator Editor

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brand new car manufacturer is gearing up for production. Founded by Paul Elio, Elio Motors is an American company that is planning to build affordable vehicles in the U.S. Their first vehicle, the Elio, is supposed to be 95% American parts and labour and sports an eccentric structure by using only three wheels. But what truly makes the Elio interesting is its incredible specs. At 2.8L/100km (84mpg) and a $6800 USD price tag, the Elio is easily the most efficient commuter vehicle on the market. It is nearly twice as efficient as a smart car (3.5L/100km) at a much lower cost ($13270 USD). This description raises several concerns as to the safety and capability of the vehicle. For one, only 3-wheels technically classifies it as a motorcycle and not a car. This means that a helmet and separate license could be required in order to legally drive the 3-wheeler. The company posted on its Facebook page in regards to the issue: “Currently, the majority of our states do not require license

Source: www.autoweek.com

endorsements for a vehicle like ours. Many other states have a pending legislation to move in that direction. We are working on a list that we will communicate through here and the website. The issue of the helmet laws is also being worked through. There are 26 states that currently do not require helmets in our vehicle, with 14 more with similar rules based on the age of passengers.” The Elio is predicted to obtain a 5-star crash test safety rating with a full rollcage and two airbags making a helmet seem unnecessary. But a car is not a car unless

it drives. The Elio sports an inline, 3 cylinder, .9 liter, 55 HP automotive engine and can reach 100km/hr in 9.6seconds. This is far from impressive but is not considered to be slow for a commuter. And with a 30 litre tank, the Elio can drive over 1000km without having to stop for gas. The size of the vehicle raises more concerns about the passenger and cargo capacity. The car contains two seats in line with each other with average seat leg room for a subcompact car. The cargo space is only enough for an airline carry-on bag or school bag but with the

rear-seat down the space increases enough to hold a golf bag. The company posted on its website regarding the maximum height of passengers. “Elio has been designed to fit 95% of all men. The tallest person we have had in the Elio is a 6’8” former college basketball player, the largest is a 6’3” 365 lb man, and the smallest is a 5’0” woman. […] They all fit and loved it!” This ambitious project is scheduled to be released in the first quarter of 2015. Visit the website for specifics as well as for reservations at eliomotors. com.

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A Walk on the Wild Side with Nigel Thornberry Valentine’s day is the celebration of love. In the animal kingdom, many species have their own ways of demonstrating their affections. When a queen bee has reached maturity, she takes on a dozen bachelors from the colony in a violent mating fight which ends in their genitals exploding inside of her. From an evolutionary standpoint, this is beneficial: the broken penises serve as plugs to stop other males from fertilizing the female. Flatworms, being hermaphrodites, engage in a ritual which involves an epic duel between two adult worms. The loser absorbs the sperm and sadly wanders off to bear the eggs. When a female red-sided garter snake emerges from hibernation, she releases a pheromone which attracts hundreds of males. The result is a massive, squirming ball of thirsty romeo-snakes. Except that sometimes, a male snake releases this pheromone, creating a generally awkward situation. As well, red-sided garter snakes have a penis on each side of their body, which they use to try to reach the female at the center of the ball.

A Humble Bundle truly Humble to my wallet

Drew Brereton Assistant Production Manager

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recent development in video game news that many may not know about is the Humble Bundle. The Humble Bundle is a website that collects bundles of games from strategy developer and enthusiast Sim Meier as well as some games from THQ, EA, UBISOFT, and other big and small name developers. What this web site does is that it allows you to determine the price you pay for the games. You can pay anything from a minimum of 1$ to whatever you feel like paying. You can also choose where the money goes to from a list of charities they have on the pay menu, or

you can choose to send your money to the developers or to the humble bundle website itself. People may see this as a weird way of making a profit because no one is going to actually pay the price they would have paid to get these games individually at a regular store. Furthermore, many people are only going to choose to send most of the money that they paid to the charities. In fact, outside of this website, the majority of the profit from the general sales of video games does not go to the developer. Instead, a good portion of it goes to giant game distributers such as EB Games, Amazon, or other electronic distributers including Steam or GOG.com.

While these may be comparable, the distinct difference between the store distributors and the electronic distributors is that the electronic distributors keep 33% of the profit for themselves while the rest of it goes directly to the developer. People will praise Humble Bundle as a never ending supply of sales, while unknowingly contributing to a new trend that may set a very negative future for game developers and buyers. This is because some people are no longer buying games when they come out, even if they get high reviews on noteworthy sites like RockPaperShotgun or The Escapist because they wait for the games to go on super sales

Source: www.steamgifts.com

or some form of sale instead of buying the game during its initial sales, which is the most important time of sales. These initial sales set the pace and terms if there will be a sequel, the reputation of the developer and many other extremely important things. As many curse and dislike free-to-play-games with micro transactions littered across them, they are a sure way for

the developers to gain popularity and income. But is this the type of trend you want to send? If you want to keep micro transactions alive, continue paying for the red blimp DLC for 2.99$. However if you don’t, vote with your wallet and say no to micro transactions and to mega sales so that you can fully enjoy the game and the developpers can enjoy the fruit of their labour.

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SPORTS

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We Are Owning the Podium Carine Niyonkuru Contributor

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ith news of Sochi’s many infrastructure problems from journalists having gotten to media hotel sites before the games, many were worried that the 2014 Winter Olympic Games were going to be marred with problems. The host country, Russia, already in the midst of controversy with their anti-gay propaganda law, was looking to re-invent themselves with these games and the witty (or some say malicious) journalists’ “#SochiProblems” tweets were not helping Russia’s image. The opening ceremony showed that Sochi was ready to host these games, and if anything, at least that the main sites were indeed camera-ready. The opening ceremony was not Beijing 2008 levels of greatness but it had it’s sweet spots: a ballet rendition of the ballroom scene in

Tolstoy’s War & Peace, with prima ballerina Svetlana Zakharova present, was a crowd favourite. The games themselves have been rocky for Russia, with seven medals total, but only one gold from the new Team Skating event that had Putin in attendance. However, day four has only just wrapped up, so there’s hope for Russia, yet. After all, it was only by day three that Canada got its first ever gold medal on Canadian soil, only to end up with 13 others at the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics. This year, Team Canada has started off spectacularly, with nine medals total, so far. Our first medal came from Mark McMorris, 20 year-old snowboarder from Regina, SK, with a bronze medal in the new event “Snowboard Men’s Slopestyle”, on day one. On day two, we almost dominated women’s moguls, with sisters Justine and

Can Canada’s Count Continue? Matthew J. Cross Contributor

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ntering the 2014 Olympic Games, global morale has ranged from low to downright despondent. Marked by controversies and disputes over human rights, notably with the international backlash Russia has faced over their new anti-LGBT laws and the incompletion of the athletic venues, Sochi is gearing up to potentially be one of the worst Olympics ever. Journalists, coincidentally, also feared that The Worst Olympic Games in History would occur in 2012 at London, as well as at Vancouver in 2010; albeit for slightly different reasons than Russia. London faced harsh criticism for their choice of sponsors (McDonald’s; Coca-Cola; Methylhexaneamine), while Vancouver suffered from government interference and, I swear I’m not making this up, a lack of snow on its mountains for the events. So while there are valid concerns over the state of events in Sochi, perhaps it’s best to wait until the Games are over to decide where on the vector of amazing to awful to rate them. One thing that may help Sochi’s cause is that there has arguably never been a better class of athlete’s representing their countries than at this year’s games. Canada in particular, who won a record-setting 14 gold medals in

Vancouver, is poised to increase that tally. You only need to look at the Canadian Men’s hockey team, who’ve had to replace the injured Steven Stamkos (broken tibia) with his Tampa Bay Lightning teammate Martin St. Louis, to see how deep their talent pool is. Yes, Canada has lost the best pure scorer in the world, but you know a team is strong when they replace him with the man who has more points in the NHL than any other player over the past four years. Hockey isn’t the only place Canada is looking to repeat in though; skiing, snowboarding, skeleton, bobsleigh (they’ll face stiff competition from the Jamaicans this year), short track, figure skating, and of course curling are all sports in which Canada hopes to retain the gold. And these are only the gold medal performances; Canada ended the Vancouver Olympic Games with an unprecedented 26 medals four years ago. However, it may be a little farfetched to believe that Canada can maintain this count, especially considering the massive cut in funding to the Own the Podium programme that occurred after Vancouver 2010. But even if Canada doesn’t dominate the Games, Canadians can take solace in the fact that Russia has chosen one of the dumbest Olympic motto’s ever: “Hot. Cool. Yours.”

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Chloé Dufour-Lapointe winning gold and silver medals, respectively, while eldest sister, Maxine, did not make the podium. Team Canada also got an already assured silver medal in the Team Skating competition, trailing behind Russia by several points, despite a strong performance by Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir. The Virtue and Moir duo, defending Olympic champions in ice dancing, hope to take gold again, and if collusion rumors between Russia and the United States are untrue, they just might. Day three gave way to another double podium mount from Team Canada

with Alexandre Bilodeau and Mikael Kingsbury earning a gold and silver medal, respectively, in men’s moguls. Marking this as Bilodeau’s second Olympic gold medal in row. He was not the only Canadian athlete to earn his consecutive gold medal as Charles Hamelin, speed skater, also finished first in the 1500 meter short track race. Four golds, three silvers and two bronze; what a start! This might just be the year that Canada’s ambitious “Own the Podium” campaign really sees us doing just that: being number one in medal standings.

Beat Down

The Superbowl Surprise Emma Sutherland Editor-in-Chief

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n a fight to the death, who would win: A horse or a bird? A horse, definitely. If anyone used this logic as a basis for placing bets on this year’s Super Bowl victors, they were in for a bad time. As the Seattle Seahawks took on the Denver Broncos on Sunday, February 2nd, Broncos fans witnessed a crushing defeat as the hopes and dreams of this once-promising team were beaten to a pulp. From the start, the Broncos lacked coordination. Twelve seconds into the game, a snap by Broncos center Manny Ramirez sailed over the head of Payton Manning, who was approaching the line to make an adjustment. The train wreck persisted throughout the evening. At one point, sports personality Stephen A. Smith remarked: “This ain’t even a game anymore. The only intrigue left is whether or not Manning-and-Co will score. Nothing else.”

Eventually, the Broncos did pull themselves together enough to score one touchdown. Nonetheless, the final score was a magnificent 43-8 for the Seahawks. The advertisements disappointed as well. With Super Bowl ads costing a staggering $4 million for a 30-second spot, fans have been taught to expect a mother-load of hilarious, creative and original content. The only noteworthy advertisement from the 2014 Super Bowl was a short promotion for Coca-Cola, which featured “America the Brave” sung in nine different languages. Some Americans felt upset by this display of diversity. Sigh. One aspect of the Super Bowl, however, was excellent. Bruno Mars’ halftime performance was filled with his signature mix of Motown vibes, grooving dance moves and catchy tunes. One would expect no less for the 10th anniversary of the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction.


Entertainment

with Dina Willis

bandersnatchentertainment@gmail.com

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NekNominations

Flappy bird

The Newest Facebook Sensation

The Rise and Fall of the Mobile Game

Emily Ciccia Office Manager

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arlier this year in Australia, a new online drinking game known as The NekNominations was born. It started off as a fun game where someone records themselves doing something silly that they normally would not do, and then take a shot or chug a beer. The idea behind the game was to blow of a bit of steam by doing something that might be a bit embarrassing or stupid, and then blow off a bit more steam by having a nice alcoholic beverage. In theory, this is a great game for stressed-out students who want to have a bit of fun and then share it with their friends on facebook. However, it did not stay innocent and fun for long, quickly becoming a competitive drinking game. People started trying to out-do their friends who nominated them, drink more

alcohol. Innocent silly stunts such as eating something disgusting quickly became dangerous stunts such as riding a skateboard down a freeway while funneling a beer. There have already been two deaths in Ireland that are linked to the NekNominations, and with stunts getting increasingly more dangerous, and people drinking more quantities of harder liquors it unfortunately would not be a surprise if more deaths were to come of this game. If you or one of your friends gets involved don’t hesitate to have a little fun if you’d like, but stay cautious and remember that it is not a competition.

LEGO Movie Review Build a Creative World Andrew Wood Contributor

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rom the makers of 21 Jump Street and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs comes a movie like you have never seen before! A movie where imagination truly thrives through the minds of these filmmakers. The movie in question? I’m talking about The LEGO Movie, of course! The movie follows Emitt, an ordinary LEGO minifigure, living in a perfect world where (to quote the movie), “Everything is Awesome”. After a series of events, he gets himself into an adventure of EPIC proportions. This movie has practically everything going for it, a stellar team of writers (Phil Lord & Chris Miller) who also directed some of the most beautiful animation that I have seen in a long time. It is led by the excellent Chris McKay (The lead animator of Adult Swim’s Robot Chicken) and has an all star cast, Including, but not limited to, Chris Pratt (Parks & Recreation), Elizabeth Banks (The Hunger Games), Liam Neeson (Taken), Alison Brie (Community), Will Arnett (Arrested Development),

Morgan Freeman (this man needs no introduction) and many many more! I had an absolute blast with this movie, from start to finish. As a long time fan of the LEGO toy line, it was a ton of fun seeing all the little nods to past LEGO sets. It made me nostalgic of playing with my LEGO when I was a kid. In conclusion, The LEGO Movie is a wonderful movie for everybody, whether you like LEGO or not.

Constantino “Tino” Montelli Staff Writer

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lappy Bird is sweeping the nation as a popular mobile game made free on iOS and Andriod phones. You take control of a bird going through pipes. You tap the screen to make the bird fly. Flappy Bird has captured the attention of many people, downloading it and tr ying to beat their own high score. Then all of a sudden on Februar y 9, 2014, the creator of this game, Nguyen Ha Dong, pulled the game from the market. This reason due to the success of the game, in which Nguyen was making $50K a day from advertisements alone, he couldn’t handle the success of the game that has been making him a minor celebrity. Now why is Flappy Bird so popular? Maybe it’s the ver y simple objective? Maybe it’s the

challenge of controlling Flappy Bird to pass pipes? Maybe it’s the graphics, which are ver y inspired by the Mario series with the green pipes and backgrounds? It could be all the above. The game could be considered embarrassingly simple, yet difficult to master. The set pipe patterns are always randomized, so there is infinite replayability, if it wasn’t for the many people cursing at the game of how stupidly difficult it is. Flappy Bird is a game that most people either love or hate. The popularity of the game has amazed many people. It could have been part of one the elite favourite mobile games like Angry Birds, Temple Run or Candy Crush Saga, but now Flappy Bird will be a footnote in the histor y of mobile games. It was once popular, and then disappeared, flapping away in the night.

Returning Television Shows of Winter 2014 Zombies, Dragons, More Zombies, Clones, Cannibals, and More Zoe Quinn Shaw News Editor

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hether they are returning from hiatus or starting a new season altogether, a number of popular television dramas will be airing new episodes in the coming months. The last episodes of AMC’s The Walking Dead, the channel’s most watched show after Breaking Bad, left the crew in a nasty situation. The show will resume its fourth season with more zombies on February 9th. February 27th marks the return of three dramas: Vikings, Grey’s Anatomy, and Scandal. On February 28th, Will Graham struggles to convince everyone of Hannibal Lecter’s guilt in the second season of Hannibal. Based on the story of the character Norman Bates, Bates Motel premieres its second season on March 3th. On March 6th, Suits resumes its third season of fun, and three days later, Once Upon a Time returns from its winter hiatus, which left fans both shocked and amused.

Almost a month later, Game of Thrones debuts its fourth season on April 6th. Based off of the second half of George R. R. Martin’s book A Storm of Swords, the main characters promise to go through drastic developments as the plot unravels further and faster than ever. The Canadian show Orphan Black, featuring a young woman who discovers that she is one of many clones born around the world, has risen to fame as one of the best shows of 2013. Its second season airs on April 19th.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2014 | VOLUME 43, ISSUE 09 f


Opinions

with Caroline Houle

bandersnatchopinions@gmail.com

8

opinions

Taxes and corruption in quebec

traveL: discovery of the self Angelina Smolynec Staff Writer

Gabriele Bavaro Staff Writer

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o each their own” is an idea that I think is very underrated. I don’t think enough people understand that everyone has different likes, dislikes, opinions and preferences. Seeing the world in black and white is impossible, as there are billions of people that are absolutely nothing alike. Something that one might find important, that might mean the world to them, might mean nothing to the next person. Learning to appreciate the things that others love – even if you don’t understand them at all – is one of the greatest and hardest things that you can do. During the winter break, I flew to the other side of the world to visit a friend in Brisbane, Australia. From there, we drove North for two days to Airlie Beach where we stayed at her friend’s house for New Years. It had no internetconnection, no air conditioning and no windows in the room that was mine for the week. I wasn’t expecting a

Source: Angelina Smolynec

Source: Angelina Smolynec

luxurious beach palace, but in 40-degree weather, air conditioning can really make a difference. The man of the house was Grandpa Warren, who drank beer from sunrise ‘till sundown and would go down to the pub everyday to meet up with his lads. The one time he cooked us a meal, it consisted of some fried meat, fatty sausages and meat on a stick. I ended up really enjoying our stay at Airlie, even if I had to go to the Backpacker’s Café every time I wanted to post a sunset on Instagram. On our way back to

Brisbane, we stopped at Grandma Patsy’s place (Warren’s ex-wife) who seemed to have a bit of an Elvis obsession, what with all the framed photos and stickers and even the illuminated Christmas boot that had Elvis crooning out of it all night. I learnt that Grandma Patsy was planning on taking all of her grandkids to Europe for a white Christmas in 2014 and was going to pay for the whole thing. I was shocked when one of her grandkids, Kaitlin, declined the offer of New Years Eve in Paris because she was planning on going to

Townsville with her friends as she was turning eighteen in October. If you look up Townsville online and compare it to Paris during the New Year, you might see why my jaw dropped at her statement. For me, being comfortable and seeing the world are extremely important. Having air conditioning in plus 40, highspeed WIFI, and a trip booked to a foreign country are all things I consider to be of utmost importance. To Kaitlin, working at the local tavern and spending time with her friends is what matters the most.

Grabbing some pints with the boys and rebuilding his home is what matters the most to Grandpa Warren. You will meet people throughout your life who are so different from you that it seems almost impossible to connect with them at all. Yet when I played a competitive game of Pictionary with Kaitlin at Grandma Patsy’s Elvis infested bungalow and heard the smile in Warren’s voice when he thanked me for the beavershaped bottle opener magnet, it was really hard to remember what those differences were.

E

ver met someone who was so interested in one particular topic that he or she could recite anything on it, be it the name of the formation of a given crystal, or a certain theorem in a probability theory? Yet, when asked to go up to the stage and present a play, or to talk to anyone, they shy away or are completely and utterly inappropriate. Perhaps you know one of us. It’s often debated how aspergian people see the world and how their worldviews are affected by their lack of social relationships (or

competency, depending on whether or not they’re interested in seeking others out). It’s sometimes ironic how people act. Remember that girl who kept complaining about not having a nice person to date and take care of them, but the next day she had a new one, identical in mentality of the last? That’s what some aspergians generally don’t understand. Strictly logical and unemotional, I personally never understood why, when people claim to want to do something, they do another for a completely unrelated reason, like the times my friend claims he wants plenty of solitude, yet spends his

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2014 | VOLUME 43, ISSUE 09 f

day in situations where it’s literally impossible not to socialize. Hypocritical, isn’t it? To be perfectly fair, it isn’t. I’ve realized I’m controlled by certain instincts. I used to consider myself as asexual, but now I’m just confused. I question my sexuality since I’ll see an attractive women walk by and want to scope her up or cat-call her. Desperate to find my newly-found self, I suppress such desires, ad nauseam. By difficulty, I abandon my desire and go back to my intial instincts. On a personal level, I’ve never been able to relate to someone in a romantic way.

Source: additudemag.com

Every attempt I’ve done has either been a ridiculously botched pick-up attempt or a freak hormonal surge after seeing another beautiful woman after the last. Why? Because I’m different. I’m not adapted to others. People are not like me and

will not like me. No matter how hard I try, I feel that I’ll never be truly human—And I admit that. So I’ve dedicated myself to observation, analysis and action, just like the thing I understand the most: science. And it somewhat works.

money is being used for successful social services, good roads and to maintain and expand a healthy economy. Sadly, as the Charbonneau Commission has exposed, there is so much corruption in Quebec that most of our money ends up in the hands of liars, thieves and corrupt officials. Every year, they siphon off countless millions, perhaps billions, of dollars all to sate an insatiable greed. I find it rather depressing, the more that I think about it, that most problems in Quebec are caused by a system run by a few corrupt officials. How could we have come to such a sorry state of affairs? I’m baffled by our poor health system, which is collapsing under its own weight, that our

Source: carlboileau.com

shell-shocked streets and our desperate state of economy is caused by an uncaring government neck-deep with the mafia and other organized criminal syndicates, and unfortunately nothing is being done about it. These corrupt politicians, thieves and liars don’t care if the current system hurts you, if you are struggling to get by, if our

social services are good enough, if our streets are full of pot-holes or if our bridges continue to collapse over people’s heads. However, it would be unwise of me to ramble on and on and not suggest a solution, so here it is. You, me, your friends… we are the people of Quebec. We are the ones who keep the province running, we are the ones

politicians should listen to. We vote for them, after all! If they wish to continue behaving like this and not answering our calls for change, then we must stand up, together in one voice and body and get our hands dirty. We have to make change, we have to pressure them in any way and we must ensure that all aspects of our society are as free as possible from corruption. That means we must run in elections for ourselves, elect our peers, watch and scrutinize our officials like hawks. It will take time but I assure you such action is necessary if we wish to enjoy a good social society that takes care of us with minimal taxes. We should not be made to suffer because of the actions of our greedy politicians.

Be yourself

No One Else Can Do It For You

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An Aspergian’s View of Love and People

Anonymous Contributor

ave you ever gone to a store, be it for clothes or video games and found something really cheap? You get really excited and buy the item, only to discover its price has gone up exponentially because of taxes? Well, you’re not the only one who is muttering under their breath. You may –or may not- find it surprising that Quebec is the most taxed province in Canada! When you pile on the income, sales, and municipal taxes you realize that we are sucked dry for every penny we own and are left with just enough to get by. The fact that we are the most taxed province in Canada would make us logically think that the

Laurence Chevrette Contributor

THE ONES NEVER CONSIDERED

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ost people will agree that one of the places where people are the most closedminded is in high school. High school is the place where people tend to have the need to fit in the most. Of course, I think it is understandable; children come out of elementary school, and they are expected, by both society and their families, to grow up very quickly. The transition from elementary school, as a child, directly to high school (or middle school) as a teenager or a young adult is a hard one. So what is our first reflex? We try to hold on to what we know by hanging out with people we know, we form cliques, and most of all; we try to fit in. Personally, I did try to

fit in for the first two or three years of high school. I tried to fit in by wearing what was “in” at the time, listen to the same music as other people, and overall tried to act the way that other people did. It was around grade nine or 10 that I realised that it wasn’t worth it. I would much rather be who I am and happy, then pretend to be someone I am not and be miserable. From that moment, I decided to be myself, and realised that if the people around me were not okay with that, then that was their problem. From then on, I wore my super-hero T-shirts, I read my comic books, and I didn’t think twice before talking, wondering if people were going to think what I said was cool or not. It is truly liberating to allow yourself not to fit in, to be different and proud

of it. So this is what I believe: you cannot be entirely happy by pretending to be someone else. Be who you want to be, and stop caring about what others think! You’re scared that people around you will think you are weird? Here’s a secret: weird is another word for different, a word that people who constantly struggle to fit in use in order to define something they do not understand. So go ahead and be “weird” or different, being labelled as such is really worth the joy one feels when being truly free. A great realization for me, and I am sure for a lot of people, when I left high school was how little it all mattered. Though at the time it might have seemed primordial to fit in, I now realize how silly and pointless trying to fit in was.

Source: listal.com

What is important to remember is that this isn’t high school, this is college and it is the time to be yourself. Look around, everyone is different, and to be honest, no one will care whether you look like a goth, a geek, a nerd, a jock, or just look unique. So be yourself, and be more open-minded with the different people around you! Take it from me, the people that are

Source: besthalloweenblog.blogpost.com

the most often judged are the people who are themselves, the people who allow themselves to be different. Don’t judge them, join them! Be yourself ! Try it for a day, wear what you think is pretty, read what you want to read and do whatever you want to do, not caring about if anyone is going to judge you, and see how free you feel by the end of the day.

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ARTs & Culture A Dancer and a Creator Rahul Ghandi Contributor

I played God, the other day. I started off by creating. On my way home from work on a clear night, I walked by a wonderful girl. The way she smiled to herself while strolling down the street left me reminiscent of something I’ve never felt, and longing for a sense I couldn’t imagine. A dancer. I think she was a dancer. I made eye contact with her for a split second; and in that moment I created a new universe. One where a smile became a hello, a name became a number, some dates turned to some years and a marriage led to a baby. That moment became like a rain-drop in a puddle: no one has to remember the rain, but the ripples can extend beyond the drops foreseeable reach. I had created something new in that instant; a new universe where we would dance the night away and my son or daughter would grow into an adult and fall as rain into another puddle. I became God. I created. I became God. I destroyed. I walked away. I didn’t smile, I didn’t say hello and I didn’t get her name. I just continued on my day, destroying the entire universe I created. Countless lives I could have made and touched all silenced at once. I left, walking away from the dancer as if it was anyone else. I created, then I destroyed. On that clear night, I became God.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2014 | VOLUME 43, ISSUE 09 f

bandersnatcharts@gmail.com Generic Pseudonym Staff Writer

Life’s a story Not always grand or gory Mais une histoire nevertheless Where people grow and regress One lives and learns As the Earth turns Everybody has a beginning and end, big or small We’ve all got our introduction and curtain call Despite not being grand or gory We all see our story with a little bit of glory So we want to recount Our own account Of every tragic heartbreak Every funny story, the origin of every ache An epic episode in your ongoing saga Just like star wars, twilight, or your favorite manga Make your story, live it and love it Create a saga somebody will covet Just don’t think they will people don’t care until You’ve given them a wow With your final bow

C h a p t e r O n e


the procrastinator

with Aaron Rogers

bandersnatchfun@gmail.com

11

Horrorscopes

Valentine’s

Love is a Tramp

Rejects

Angela Brett The Oracle

ARIES (March 21 - April 20): It’s time you take the initiative in regards to a certain relationship. Your relationship with your potential cult leader, I mean. Take the initiation. Be washed in the love of Zorg. TAURUS (April 21 - May 21): Sometimes partners find it difficult to pin you down. This is because your partners think you are a butterfly who they are trying to mount in their butterfly display case. Explain to them you are a person. GEMINI (May 22 - June 21): Everything will go right for you today. Like, be careful getting in to any vehicles, because they will literally just keep turning right and going in circles. You will never get anywhere. Unless you’re on a race track or something? Then you’ll have a great time. CANCER (June 22 - July 23): The position of the planets today means that you have a great chance to team up with someone. Or

23 someones. Form a hockey team. Achieve maximal glory.

score, use it to determine your value as a person.

LEO (July 24 - Aug. 23): This is a great time to celebrate your love. I suggest a luxurious bubble bath. No, that’s not a comment on your hygienic habits, ok? Gosh, why do you always do this? You’re just like your mother.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21): Today, the planets are aligned perfectly for you to take your partner on a romantic interplanetary adventure. Bring sunscreen!

VIRGO (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23): Right now it feels like you’re in “Relationship Heaven”, but in fact, you’re in real heaven. Heaven is exactly like your regular life except it smells marginally better and this newspaper is more interesting to read than it is in the real world. LIBRA (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23): If you have been feeling as though you had no hope of enticing your love interest back into your life, then think again. And then again, and again, and again. Congratulations, you have successfully completed Thinking 101. SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22): Take however many roses you receive this Valentine’s Day, multiply it by 4, and then add how many chocolates you ate. This is your love

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): The celestial atmosphere encourages you to wear that shirt you bought a while ago. The one you weren’t sure if you’d be able to pull off. You can pull it off, the celestial atmosphere gives excellent fashion advice. AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): Recent events have you wondering if the one you are with is really the one for you. They’re not. They’re the two for you, or maybe even the three for you. Maybe even the infinity for you. PISCES (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20): Of the relationships in your life, the non-romantic ones are just as special and valuable as the romantic ones. Make sure the people you love know you appreciate them. I suggest you buy a billboard and announce it to them like that.

Don’t you hate it when someone asks you to be their Valentine, but all you want to do is eat pizza and watch the Saw movies? Well, today is your lucky day! Here are some sassy and fun ways to reject those unwanted, love-crazed fools. Put your hand on their shoulder, exhale deeply and walk away. Take offence to their proposition; “Excuse me! You think I ain’t good enough to have a date already?” and storm off. For added effect be sure to slam a door. “Don’t you Valentine-zone me!” “If you ain’t got no chocolate, you ain’t gettin’ no love” “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to let anyone or anything come between me and my hand.” Crawl into a ball and start yelling “potato” Pull a fat Amy; “Sometimes I think I should do crystal meth, and then I think “hmmm, better not” Say “Y’all can’t handle this” and make sassy hand movements. Awkwardly yourself.

dance

away

by

Grab the next person you see and ask them to be your valentine. “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date! No time to waste, hello, goodbye. I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!” “I’m sorry, but my heart belongs to the cast of the Twilight series” “My mom spoke to me from her grave and told me that I can do better” “DAMN! You really are thirsty!” Yell “you’re never gonna catch me” in the voice of the greased up deaf guy from Family Guy and run away.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12, 2014 | VOLUME 43, ISSUE 09 f



Bandersnatch Volume 43 Issue 9