Irregular Periods (And Toxic Dates), Explained One thing that’s absolutely indispensable to life is consistency. :) Whether you’re working out, trying to date, or getting your period; consistency helps things happen without interruption. Naturally, thus, when consistency is interrupted, there are repercussions… Normal Period Cycles For most human females, the menstrual cycle or period bleeding lasts anywhere between 24 and 38 days. Bats, meanwhile, have period cycles that are between 21 and 27 days long; while the tiny jumping elephant shrew has a cycle that lasts 13 to 18 weeks. Facts, that may or may not be your next conversation opener on Bumble. Getting back to the topic on hand, though, apart from trying 17 pimple creams, feeling pretty horny and hating your vagina, period bleeding usually consists of two processes called menstruation and ovulation. How do these work? Simple: Just like English Regency era-mothers (in Bidgerton) wanted their girls to get married to the best man available, the ovary wants each of its eggs to get fertilized by the healthiest, most potent, most virile sperm possible. Thus, every ovulation cycle, an egg leaves the safety of the ovary, travels down the fallopian tube and waits for her Duke or Viscount Sperm at the Uterine Ball wall. If such a liaison fails, the daughter remains a spinster while the egg and its surrounding endometrial lining are destroyed and shed—resulting in period bleeding, or a menstrual period. This great ovarian waltz usually works like clockwork, with each period lasting between 2 to 7 days. However, sometimes issues in the environment (or a Lady Whistledown) can cause this process to function a little less perfectly—resulting in the hellish phase called irregular periods. Alexa, define ‘irregular’? Depending on whether you’ve ever lived with a male sibling or in a hostel, the words ‘less perfect’ may mean different things. Issues in the period cycle, just like your online boys, usually express themselves in set patterns. You simply have to know what to watch out for. Here’s a list: The time between each period, like his texts, begins to change. This time it’s 28 days, next month it’s 45, then suddenly you’re down on Day 17. You lose more or less blood than usual, leaving you tense and exhausted, just like what you feel because of his constant games. (Important to note: Unnaturally heavy bleeding is called menorrhagia. Read about it here.) The number of days that your period lasts for changes too, just like the quality of his excuses for why he can’t meet you.
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