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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
NOVEMBER 18, 2021
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Centerfold
Well Said
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. - Johnny Carson
Thanksgiving is when the Indians said, well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England. - Jay Leno
Every Thanksgiving I think about how much Pilgrims had to sacrifice just so we could have a day off work. - Melanie White
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller
I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family on Thanksgiving.- Craig Ferguson
Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. - Melanie
White
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander
Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants. - Kevin Jam
I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times and then ordering online. - Kumail Nanjiani
The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. “Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?” “But we do that every day!” “Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the [daylights] out of us?” - Jim Gaffigan
If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey bologna, turkey pastrami…. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. - Mitch Hedberg
Vegetables are a must on a Thanksgiving diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before. - Rita Rudner
You Gotta Be Kidding Me! Q: A: Their age!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Q: A: If your papa could see you now, he’d turn
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? over in his gravy!
