Parenting Pearls

Extracurriculars are Extraordinary

By Sara Rayvych, MSEd

Yeshiva schedules are a full day. After homework, dinner, and baths there is precious little time left. There is no doubt that school is not only a major part of a child’s day but also an important one. While adults go to work, children have school as their main occupation.

It’s tempting to shun any form of extracurricular activities for kids. Kids and parents are both busy. Extra energy is certainly in low parental supply. Financial limitations can also be a deterrent for some families. Honestly, there are many reasons to deter you.

Despite the many hesitations about outside activities, there are many benefits to extracurriculars for parents to consider. Children are not one-dimensional, and there’s more to life than just book work, as important as that is. Children, similar to adults, have many aspects to their personalities, and they deserve to express those talents.

Balance is important in all areas, and a child’s routine schedule is no different. Enjoyable and creative outlets, when combined with their regular academics, provide a more well-rounded child. Most schools provide many of the activities mentioned in this article. Some children will naturally gravitate towards the school-offered opportunities, while others may need a little encouragement. In addition, our community has many talented individuals that offer additional options. With a minimum amount of effort, parents should be able to find something within our area and their price range (or even free) that appeals to their child. Never assume that just because you don’t like something your child won’t find it enjoyable.

Becoming Successful

Success breeds success, and children benefit from being successful in many areas of their life. Being involved in a variety of activities gives children multiple potential areas to improve themselves and succeed.

Parents might be particularly hesitant to add to the schedule of an educationally struggling child. The fear is that if children divert their time and attention from an already difficult school day, they will do even worse in class. Children that struggle in school can easily see their self-worth plummet and become frustrated. By seeing how successful they can be in an area outside of their regular academics they can help maintain their self-worth even in the face of failure. Even more than this, the hope is that by experiencing how successful they can be in another environment they can then carry it back into the classroom.

Children that find school stressful can also benefit from the healthy distraction that appropriate extracurricular activities provide. School is hard enough – even more so for children who find lessons difficult. Outside activities can give children a healthy outlet and respite from a stressful environment. Hobbies and extracurricular activities are known for being relaxing. Even kids need to unwind, and this is a healthy outlet. Kids without a healthy outlet risk finding an unhealthy one, chas v’shalom.

Many children can also find leadership roles within their chosen activity. A child who might be shy or hesitant may find they’re able to lead others in an activity that they excel at. This, too, can improve their self-esteem.

Chevra

Kids have a circle of friends and acquaintances that come from a few places, predominantly from school, shul, and their immediate neighborhood. Many children benefit from expanding their chevra past their daled amos. Outside activities give children the chance to meet other kids, particularly children who have similar interests as them.

This can be a wonderful opportunity for a child that has not been successful in forming appropriate friendships with the children they already know. Community-based activities offer a wider peer group than a

child currently has. Even more importantly, the children that kids meet in these groups are other children they already have something in common with – they all enjoy the special activity they are doing together. Having an activity to do together can make socializing a little less pressured. As the kids focus on the task at hand, they have a more natural way to interact with each other.

Athletic Programs

There are many sports-based programs in and out of schools. There is everything from leagues to classes, and parents can choose from competitive and non-competitive based sports. Not only are they an enjoyable outlet for many kids, but they’re a great way to stay healthy and fit – especially for kids sitting at a desk in class every day. Everyone benefits from being physically active. It’s great for both the body and mind. Kids’ bodies, in particular, are meant to move a lot, and athletic programs are an excellent option.

Skill-Based Programs

Carpentry, robotics, music, and ceramics are some of the many new skills children can learn. In addition to learning a new skill, children can improve their fine and gross motor skills at the same time. Depending on the chosen skill, coordination, dexterity, and increased confidence are among the extra potential benefits.

Educational Programs

I know I said that extracurricular activities can be a change from the usual educational schedule, but many children really do enjoy learning certain subjects in-depth, particularly subjects they may not be covering as much in school. There are kids that really like science, math, and geography. My kids have enjoyed spending their free time studying everything from engineering and forensics to maps and the Middle Ages. Many children enjoy writing, book clubs, debating and foreign languages.

It’s ironic, because while many children might not like to do some of these activities, even in school, many children would really enjoy spending their extra time engaged in learning these very same subjects. This just accentuates how unique each child is.

Torah-Learning Programs

Acharon acharon chaviv. Learning Torah deserves its own category. There are so many wonderful learning

By seeing how successful they can be in an area outside of their regular academics they can help maintain their self-worth even in the face of failure.

programs in our area, both connected to schools and done independently. These programs not only provide your child with extra knowledge, but they try to do it in a way that is extra fun and creative. While teachers are definitely known for their creativity (it’s not coincidental that many of these programs are run by teachers), there is still a need to cover a certain amount of material in school along with other important school requirements. As these programs don’t have those necessary limitations, the children can be exposed to Torah in a way they don’t usually experience.

Enjoying Torah and mitzvos, along with having positive Jewish exposure, can only benefit children. Learning about why they can’t do something on Shabbos, along with fun ways the melacha can be applied, not only brings Shabbos and the Mishkan to life, it also can make it easier for children to intellectually and emotionally understand when their parents say, “That’s a melacha. We can’t do it on Shabbos.” This same awareness can be applied to any area of Jewish life.

Our community has many such programs available, many with no or minimal fees. There are a myriad of Avos U’banim and hasmada/masmid type programs, Tehillim groups, and Shabbos learning programs. It has been my experience that there is a very nice peer group at these programs.

My children personally attended some of these programs and gained a tremendous amount. I can’t tell you how disappointed I was when my boys aged out of our local programs. Each week they attended “Likras Shabbos” (Ephraim Perlstein 646-346-0269) where they learned hilchos Shabbos in-depth and enjoyed kugel and prizes. It became a major component of

their weekly Shabbos preparations and brought lively halacha discussions to our Shabbos table. My son looked forward to “Learn and Live” (learnandlivefr@gmail.com) each week where he learned a different one of the 39 melachos via a fun and creative presentation. The pizza served didn’t hurt, either. They looked forward to both programs each week. The same organization as Learn and Live has a weekly Pirkei Avos shiur called Ashreinu. My son enjoyed both the shiur and the prize he won. By being a part of a continuous program they not only learned important topics but made good friends. In some of the programs, they even had the opportunity to assist and gain some responsibilities.

As busy as we are, adding some extracurricular fun to our child’s week can enhance many parts of their life. As they learn and have fun, they can gain new skills and friends. With a little encouragement, our children can discover parts of themselves that had previously been hidden.

Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.

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Dirshu Secures Additional Hotels to Meet Enormous Demand for Shabbos Convention

Great Anticipation as Senior Gedolei Yisroel Expected to Attend and Address Lomdei Dirshu

By Chaim Gold

A Dirshu Convention is unique. Simply put, nothing can compare to it in the frum world today. It is a microcosm of the achdus through Torah that symbolizes the most beautiful qualities of Am Yisrael. It is a Convention where men and women representing the entire gamut of Torah Jewry – Chassidim of all kinds, Litvish Yeshiva types, Ashkenazim, Sefardim – come together for one reason: to give and gain chizuk in the limud haTorah that both the men and women who attend know has transformed their homes, their family lives and the chinuch of their children.

Lomdei Dirshu look forward to the biennial Convention with tremendous anticipation. It is a breath of Torah oxygen as they meet with like-minded “brothers and sisters in combat” who set aside large portions daily to learn, chazer, learn and chazer again, learning the material for the comprehensive tests that every lomed Dirshu aspires to take successfully.

This year, the demand was so great that within hours of the Convention being publicized, it was sold out. Understanding the integral role that the Convention plays in the lives of their lomdim and wives, Dirshu quickly worked to secure more venues. As of this writing, the Dirshu guests will be staying at the Armon Hotel [formerly the Crowne Plaza] in Stamford Connecticut, and the adjacent Holiday Inn Hotel, as well as a third hotel in the area, to be announced. In addition a massive tent for the shul will be erected where the multitudes of participants will be able to daven in an atmosphere conducive to the seriousness of a tefillah experience that a Dirshu Yid expects.

Plans are also underway to secure a large ballroom in a nearby hotel to accommodate the anticipated overflow crowd of guests that will come after Shabbos to participate in the Melava Malka Siyum.

The Armon and the Holiday Inn Hotel are already fully booked and now Dirshu has secured a third hotel nearby to accommodate the tremendous response. “Unfortunately, even the third hotel will be insufficient to accommodate all those who desire to come,” said Dirshu’s North American Director, Rabbi Aharon Gobioff, “but it is simply not possible to secure more rooms within walking distance of the Armon Hotel where the seudos, davening and inspiring shiurim and drashos from Gedolei Yisrael from across the spectrum, will be held.”

The Unique Microcosm of Olam Habah that is Shabbos Dirshu

The excited anticipation for this Shabbos is indescribable. It is a time when multitudes of talmidei chachamim come together, meet like-minded counterparts, talk in learning and exchange tips on how to enhance yedias haTorah and retention of the vast amounts of Torah that they learn. The chizuk they derive from realizing that they are a significant part of a massive global movement of yedias haTorah cannot be quantified.

In addition, the wives of lomdei Dirshu walk away from Shabbos on a high. Not only are they deeply inspired by the special women’s programing but perhaps even more so, from meeting other distinguished wives and mothers who truly understand what it means to be part of Dirshu with the inherent thrill of witnessing the hatzlacha of their husband after a test; or upon completion of a masechta, recognizing how, through Dirshu, the entire family becomes elevated and closer to Hashem.

One Dirshu Yid, who called to register on the first day of registration, related, “I called immediately because I have not forgotten the last convention! Where else can one have Ashkenazim and Sefardim, Yeshivaleit and Chassidim, Yidden from Cleveland, Baltimore and Toronto talking in learning with Yidden from New Square, Lakewood and Williamsburg? Torah is truly the ultimate unifier and the Torah in which all lomdei Dirshu immerse themselves, day in, day out, week in, week out, year after year brings together all segments of Klal Yisrael in the most harmonious symphony of achdus. “

The Climax: Melava Malka Siyum on Seder Moed

The climax of the Shabbos will be the gala melava malka siyum on Seder Moed that the Daf HaYomi has completed upon which thousands and thousands of lomdei Dirshu have been tested. Open to the public, the melave malka will be addressed by senior Gedolei Yisrael including a special guest senior Gadol from Eretz Yisrael.

One prominent American Rosh Yeshiva put it succinctly, “How can I not participate? This is an event with no agenda other than increasing limud haTorah - no political agenda, no fundraising or organizational agenda. It is, simply put, a celebration of dedication to learning. We are just coming to celebrate with Yidden who have invested days and nights over many years to learn, chazer and be tested. How can I not come?”

Indeed, who can forget previous conventions that were graced by the likes of HaGaon HaRav Shmuel Yaakov Borenstein, zt”l, whose shiur riveted the tzibbur and whose singing elevated them to a different plane? Who can forget the shiurim of HaGaon HaRav Berel Povarsky, shlita, or HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, shlita, or the shaila and teshuva session on all four orders of Shulchan Aruch with HaGaon, HaRav Yechiel Mechel Steinmetz, shlita?

One of the unique chiddushim of a Dirshu Convention is the fact that nothing, not even a Dirshu Convention itself, can stop the relentless schedule of learning and chazering of lomdei Dirshu. At the Convention, Dirshu consecrates a large double conference room as a beis medrash open for learning 24 hours a day. By a previous Convention, Rav Yechiel Mechel Steinmetz, the venerated Skverer Dayan of Boro Park, pointed out how despite the oneg Shabbos ending very late on Friday night, the designated beis medrash was literally full of people learning before it even became light outside! Rav Steinmetz, who was learning in the beis medrash in the early hours, was amazed, “Where else do you have a convention where not only is learning talked about, but it doesn’t stop! Where after the seudah on Shabbos afternoon, the ‘taanug’ of sleeping on Shabbos is replaced by the even greater pleasure of learning and chazering another blatt Gemara and another seif in Shulchan Aruch?!”

Every person present at the Convention is one who has shown deep dedication to limud haTorah. The men show that dedication by learning, daily chazering, and taking monthly tests over a protracted period. Similarly, every Dirshu wife has displayed mesiras nefesh for her husband’s learning and spiritual ascent by enabling him to devote tremendous amounts of time to learning and then repeatedly reviewing so that he will sufficiently know the material to earn an exemplary mark on the test. This does not always come easily. It frequently means sacrificing a husband’s help in the most hectic times, such as the morning rush to school or the evening bedtime crunch. Yet, one Dirshu wife related, “I don’t know if I could make it through the years without the tremendous chizuk that I derive from a Dirshu Convention.”

Kedushas Habayis, Kedushas HaTorah and Dirshu

On Dirshu participant told the following remarkable story depicting the impact Dirshu has on families. “My friend’s son became engaged. When the chosson’s father was discussing purchasing a ring for the kallah, the chosson insisted on paying for the ring himself. ‘From where do you have money?’ his astounded father asked. ‘Totty,’ the chosson explained, ‘During bein hasedorim and the pre-Shacharis hours, I have been learning Daf HaYomi with Dirshu and taking Dirshu tests. Every stipend that I earned, I put aside. I would like to use that money to buy the ring because I want my new bayis to be built upon the foundation of the kedushas haTorah that I have worked so hard to attain.”

Indeed, that was the underlying foundation throughout the Dirshu Shabbos. The kedushas habayis and shalom bayis of hundreds upon hundreds of families has been immeasurably impacted and often transformed by their connection with Dirshu.

HaRav Berel Povarsky addressing the Dirshu Siyum held at a previous Dirshu Convention Partial view of the participants at a previous Dirshu Shabbos Convention