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2 JEWISH CARING NETWORK INVITES THE COMMUNITY TO A LECTURE ON THE FIRST YAHRZEIT OF

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Please join us for an

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As CEO of MileOne Auto Group, Steve has become one of the most prominent and respected businessmen in Maryland. Mr. Fader is the Chair of The Associated’s 2019 Annual Campaign.

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CONTENTS COMMUNITY

JANUARY 3, 2019

Around the Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8 Year in Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Community Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

JEWISH THOUGHT Rabbi Zvi Teichman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Sometimes There Are No Words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90

PEOPLE

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

613 Seconds with Mrs. Feige Engelsberg, M.S. ED.. . 21

HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT Centerfold. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Notable Quotes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

LIFESTYLES Life Coach. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 My Israel Home. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Dating Dialogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 2018 Year in Review. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 Business Smarts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80 Forgotten Heroes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Health & Fitness. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84 Mental Health Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 Gluten Free Recipe Column. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 Your Money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

NEWS Israel News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 That’s Odd. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

Dear Readers, Many articles have been written trying to make sense of the spontaneous and raw outburst of joy following Sholom Rubashkin’s release a year ago. Each explains a specific angle: •

The power of emunah and tefillah

The collective response to when one Jew is singled out for selective treatment

The power unity brings.

While these are all true, I think the outpouring of excitement expressed something more fundamental. Deep inside, each one of us is a child – an uncomplicated, positive, and believing soul. It doesn’t take much to be happy. With time this kernel of purity gets covered in cynicism. Emotional challenges, disappointments, spreadsheets, and deadlines box us in as we morph into human beings honed to deliver services. Suddenly, with a Whatsapp message or phone call, we had an excuse to celebrate. We used his freedom to break free of our own constraints, be they sadness, anger, or jealousy. The neighbor who gets on our nerves or the bad habits of our relative – they are no longer significant. Now was a time for celebration. And what a celebration it was. Dancing with unfettered joy, locked arm-in-arm with other Jews we didn’t even know, was an experience unlike any other. Mainly, its challenges or sad events that lift us out of the daily grind and bring us together. We were finally able to do so through joy and celebration. Here was a man who spent eight (!) years in a place meant to turn people into numbers, yet he retained his humanity. If he could do it, then so can we. He ultimately went free, and so will we. We’re told the coming redemption will be a mixture of nature and the supernatural. This may have been a taste of it. A supernatural joy, but experienced in this world. We were the same people, but with ignited souls. When the King of kings finally uses the stroke of his pen to commute our collective sentence in the current exile, nothing fundamentally new will happen. We will be the same Chaim, Esther, Eli, and Sara, but with a soul on fire. There’s nothing more natural, nay supernatural than that. Wishing you an enjoyable Shabbos,

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Shalom

The Baltimore Jewish Home is an independent bi-weekly newspaper. All opinions expressed by the journalists, contributors and/or advertisers printed and/or quoted herein are solely their opinions and do not reflect the opinions of BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME, their parent company or affiliates, and may have been previously disseminated by them on television, radio, Internet or another medium. The Baltimore Jewish Home is not responsible for typographical errors, or for the kashrus of any product or business advertised within. The BJH contains words of Torah. Please treat accordingly.


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Around the Community

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JANUARY 3, 2019

Nachlas Hatorah Day of Learning

K

ollel Nachlas Hatorah of Khal Machzikei Torah held a special Morning of Learning on Tuesday, December 25th. The large crowd was privileged to hear from Harav Nechemiah Goldstein, Rosh Kollel of Nachlas Hatorah. He spoke about the different Halachic opinions regarding celebrating birthdays. The audience was intrigued by the Harav Moshe Heinemann shlit”a who gave a Shiur about end of life issues. Explaining about Halachic wills and various other related topics. This special Legal Holiday Program was arranged in addition to the regular schedule of learning at Kollel

Nachlas Hatorah. The regular schedule on Monday through Friday begins with 8:30 am Shacharis followed by

shiurim and chavrusa learning from 9:30 am-12:00 pm. For more information, please con-

tact HaRav Nechemiah Goldstein at 410-358-1019 or Rabbi Yitzchok Neger at 443-803-0580.

thoughtful and personal meaning to Rabbi Teichman as his talmidim, friends, and shul members wished to express their gratitude for all he does for them and the kehillah. This momentous occasion was concluded with a closing remark by Rabbi Teichman which included a very emotional charge to all present to live a life of meaning, Torah, and purpose. Having experienced a very difficult day for the Ohel Moshe kehillah with the tragic passing of a young child within the kehillah, Rabbi Teichman infused meaning and context into the daily life of a Jew. Rabbi Teichman explained how a day can call for great joy in celebration of Torah, even while experiencing tremendous

pain. “If you grab on to the Torah, and learn something every day, no matter what, I guarantee you, it’s like holding Hashem’s hand, and it will give you the strength and sense of purpose you need for the best of times and the most challenging of times.”

Ohel Moshe Grand Siyum

Y

ou know it is a Simcha when Iris Littman joins the party! Iris, among 200 other guests arrived at Moses Montefiore Anshe Emunah Congregation (Liberty Jewish Center) on Monday evening to take part in a celebration that not only paid tribute to the determination of a seven and a half year daily learning commitment, but also made Ohel Moshe history. On Monday, December 17, 2018, a grand siyum took place to celebrate Rabbi Zvi Teichman’s Siyum HaShas as he concluded a full cycle of learning and teaching the Daf Yomi! Joining together every morning at 5:45am (or for the evening showing) for seven and a half years is no small feat. As such, the Shul, as well as many talmidim and friends of Rabbi Teichman came together to properly acknowledge this achievement and simcha with Rabbi Teichman and his Daf Yomi talmidim. After cocktails and Maariv, the main event began with a talmid of the Daf Yomi shiur, Rabbi Jeff Ifrah emceeing the event. Rabbi Ifrah shared

many well wishes and highlights from his personal experiences in Rabbi Teichman’s Daf, as well as those of other talmidim in the shiur. Rabbi Teichman was called up to the podium where he inspired the crowd with his opening remarks, and the official siyum. Following the Kadish, the crowd responded with a natural outburst of simcha and dancing to the musical stylings of Eli Atias and Ben Tzion Bluming. After the dancing, all of the guests were treated to a delicious steak dinner. Musical interludes continued throughout the program, which contributed to the already magical feeling that was permeating the room. As the evening continued, Rabbi Ahron Lopiansky of Silver Spring, lifelong friend of Rabbi Teichman, shared divrei bracha and a message of inspiration in honor of this incredible achievement in Torah learning. After a dessert buffet of warm cakes and assorted sorbets, the Rabbi was gifted with three gifts by three different groups of siyum sponsors. Each gift was presented on behalf of the sponsors and a grateful kehilah with


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JANUARY 3, 2019

Public Service announcement from Torah Institute of Baltimore

I

want to bring to your attention an error in the Torah Institute of Baltimore Calendar

for Motzai Shabbos – Saturday night, January 12th. The havdalah time that is listed as 5:47 is 42 minutes not 72

minutes as indicated. 72 minute havdalah is 6:15 p.m. I am sorry for the error.

Rabbi Yisroel Reznitsky Executive Director

The Shidduch Center of Baltimore Hosts Rabbi YY Jacobson


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Around the Community

Introducing CHAYEINU, a New Baltimore Organization to Increase Awareness and Education About Addictions in our Jewish Community Don’t Wait…Educate! • Several yeshiva boys stand around the kiddush table at shul, with one of them serving as the official lookout; they take shots every time they think that no adults are watching. • Middle school students are talking about a YouTube video that says vaping with e-cigarettes is harmless…and maybe even good for you. • A high school girl has a friend who has become a regular Juul user, and finally gives in to daily invitations to “just try one of my marijuana pods” • A third-grade boy accompanies his father home from shul on Shabbos, stopping at several “kiddush clubs” where he observes grown men behaving in ways that make him think drinking is fun and good. All of these scenarios have happened in the Orthodox community of

Baltimore. In response, a group of parents, grandparents and askanim have created a new organization, CHAYEINU, to raise awareness and educate our community about the danger of addiction and what we can do about it. Here are some questions you should be asking yourself: • Do you really know what your children know about drugs and alcohol? • Would you know if your children have friends who are using drugs or alcohol and sharing their experiences with your children? • Who would you contact if you suspected that your child was experimenting with drugs or alcohol behind your back? • Are you okay with your child

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getting answers to his or her big questions from “the street” instead of from you? These challenges for Orthodox families and schools are not unique to Baltimore. Educational materials from organizations like Amudim (amudim. org) point out that these problems exist everywhere and that denial does not help them go away. CHAYEINU is working to raise consciousness and concern in our kehilla because we realize that every child, teen and adult is a potential victim of these risky behaviors. This problem is not limited to individuals in some families or some schools. We believe that you should discuss these issues with your children before they hear about them from their friends. Parents cannot be naïve about these subjects. Over the past few months, we have all learned about wonderful young people who have died of overdoses, committed suicide because they gave up hope, or left the frum community because they were led to believe that they “just don’t fit in” anymore. We recently heard from a parent who said “I always assumed that it was a problem of someone else’s child…until I realized that my child was addicted.” Chayeinu has spoken with the Rabbonim of almost every shul in Baltimore, and they enthusiastically encouraged us to start this education project as soon as possible. We brought the director of Amudim to Baltimore and he met with the leadership of our schools, letting them know how quickly and dramatically this problem is growing. Our local rabbis and principals met with a psychologist and a psychiatrist who provided guidance on being supportive and responding to parents who seek hadracha. Despite the growing prevalence of this phenomenon, many parents still do not understand that alcohol and drug addiction are increasing in our Baltimore Orthodox community. New challenges like e-cigarettes have changed the environment dramatically, creating even more addictive attractions for young people. There are also

many adults who are in denial (“I’m not addicted; I could quit any time.” Or “Just because I like to have a few drinks on Friday night and Shabbos day doesn’t mean that I have a problem…there are lots of people who are worse off than me.”) On January 9, 8:00 pm at the Park Heights JCC, Chayeinu will hold the first in a series of open meetings for parents. Dr. David Pelcovitz, a renowned Orthodox psychologist* and a member of the national advisory boards for Amudim and Relief Resources, will address some of the questions listed above and help us deepen our understanding of the risks facing our children. Dr. Pelcovitz will also answer parent questions during this important session. This program is ideal for all parents, including parents of children in lower elementary grades. Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer has endorsed this event and urges all parents to attend, as have many other members of the Baltimore Vaad HaRabbonim. Subsequent meetings will feature local therapists and families that have dealt personally with the challenges of addiction. Other services and programs will follow, as we determine additional ways that we can effectively address these issues. Please join us in sharing this information, publicizing these events, and raising the concern about how addictions can shatter the lives of people we love. Founding Board Members (Board in formation): Aviva Weisbord, Ph.D. Mrs. Esti Ziffer Mr. Larry Ziffer See our ad on pg 55 *Dr. Pelcovitz is also Director of Psychology at North Shore University Hospital, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine, and holds the Gwendolyn & Joseph Straus Chair in Jewish Education at Yeshiva University.


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Around the Community

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JANUARY 3, 2019

Jewish Community Football League Completes Season Number 7 Shimz Cars Harris Automotive

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On Sunday, December 2ndth, 2018, despite a heavy fog and a slight chill in the air, countless “JCFL by Elle Remodeling” fans showed up to the beautiful Parkridge turf field at Meadowood, to cheer on the players of Harris Automotive and Shimz Cars, as each team vied for a win in the “Souper Duper Bowl” by CWS Meats. In an exciting game that contained a plethora of memorable plays, Shimz Cars took home the win (19-12) and the CWS Meats Championship Trophy for the 2018 season. Shimz entered the championship game looking to avenge last year’s championship loss. And after falling short in the Championship game in the previous two seasons, QB Avi Yudkowky was determined to ensure he would not become the JCFL version of Hall of Fame QB, Jim Kelly. But by staying true to the formula they had followed all season long - a

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“bend but don’t break” defense and timely offensive plays with minimal mistakes and turnovers, Shimz managed to pull out a 19-12 victory and take home the trophy. The game started out as an offensive struggle for both teams. Heavy pressure from Harris caused havoc for Shimz and they struggled to move the ball down the field. However, after a fourth down stop, Shimz got on the board first with a TD pass from Yudkowksy to Shmuel Moinzadeh. Harris Automotive, while plagued by early drops, responded with a score on a beautiful, long, back-shoulder pass from Dan Gutman to Avner Shotz to tie the game at 6. Both teams had opportunities to score in the first half, but Yudkowsky was picked off by Chaim Mandlebaum on a fourth down endzone pass, and Shimz CB Yaakov Schmell returned the favor by picking off Gutman in the end zone to leave the score knotted at 6 going into half. Shimz took the halftime break to do what they had done all season.

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They regrouped, modified the game plan, and adjusted. Despite only losing once on the year, Shimz only led at halftime in 2 games all year. They came out in the second half and immediately drove down the field. Yudkowsky methodically connected with his talented array of receivers to include Abbo Aranbayev (subbing for the injured Jason Mann), Yaakov Schmell, Yoni Addi, Shua Wealcatch, and Ari Litzman, thereby moved Shimz inside the ten. Schmell put an exclamation mark on the drive with a pretty sliding TD catch, giving Shimz the 12-6 lead. Harris tried to respond but repeatedly struggled to move the ball down the field in the second half. The rotating defensive line of Eliave Sobol, Shmuel Moinzadeh, Leon Sheynman (subbing for Dmitry Shif), and Ari Litzman, applied constant pressure. Shimz was able to pad their lead after a long pass to Ari Litzman, which was followed by another TD catch by Yakov Schmell and Shimz increased their lead to 19-6. Just as it looked like Shimz might cruise to victory, a tipped up pass on an almost interception turned into a TD for Harris, as the ball ended up in Shulie Hochmans hands, who was standing in the end zone. Shimz was able to work down the clock, and gave it back to Harris with only 30 seconds left in the game. Their last ditch drive ended with an interception by Yudkowksy, and Shimz sealed their first championship with the 19-12 victory. Shimz Cars finished the season with an impressive 7-1-1 record (counting the regular season, playoffs, and the championship.) Teamwork, dedication, checking egos at the door and strong leadership by team owner Shimon Balakhani, were the key to a successful season. Avi Yudkowksy

was handed the MVP trophy by lead ref Walt Johnson and Shimz Cars was handed the 2018 championship trophy. The league wants to extend a thank you to all the players and sponsors as well as the refereeing crews and league committee for another successful seasons. (Phenomenal pictures taken by local photography talent, Uri Arnson of Uri Arnson Wedding Photography. His other work can be viewed at his website https://www.uriarnson.com/. His contact info can also be found on the site if you are looking for a photographer for your next event.)


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Mrs. Feige Engelsberg, M.S. ED. JEWELS Educational Supervisor

Can you give us an example of an innovative program that is helping your students? Our therapists run Social Thinking™ and Zones of Regulation™ groups in our classrooms. These groups help our students understand social expectations at every level and give them tools to help them regulate their emotions and responses. Our teachers are magnificent at reinforcing these skills. What do you wish other people knew about JEWELS? I wish people knew of our successes at early intervention. We often have students in our preschool who need early intervention in various developmental areas. Our special educators and therapists provide the support these children need to prepare them for success in the general education system. In fact, over fifty of our students who have benefited from our

What is your professional experience? I taught at HASC in Brooklyn for ten years, Hillel Day School of Metropolitan Detroit for nine years, Seattle Public Schools for one year, and Derech Emunah, a Seattle Girls High School, for two years. My many experiences in diverse settings, age groups and student populations have helped me grow in my abilities as a special educator. I feel privileged to have learned so much from each of these opportu-

nities. We understand your family recently moved to Baltimore from Seattle, Washington. How has the transition been? With so much thanks to Hashem, this move has been wonderful for us. Seattle is a very warm community and we have many special relationships from our time there. Baltimore, however, is much closer to our families! We are grateful that our children have made such nice friends and that everyone is so welcoming. And of course, you can’t beat living near all the frum conveniences such as two kosher supermarkets and accessible sushi!

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What else did you learn about JEWELS once you started working there? There is absolutely no complacency at JEWELS! On the contrary, there is a tremendous passion for pursuing excellence and providing the highest standard of educational and therapeutic care to our students. This attitude is pervasive in the school. In fact, although we are the only Jewish school of our kind in the greater Baltimore area. Parents know that when their children are enrolled in JEWELS, they are not just receiving a nurturing Jewish education, they are also receiving a stellar all-inclusive education.

early intervention program, are now enrolled in local day schools.

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Tell me how you first got involved in with JEWELS School: When our family started making plans to move to Baltimore, I learned about JEWELS. I watched their promotional video online and it was so inspiring. My initial feeling was - Oh! I want to work there! When touring the school, my positive impressions intensified. I saw an incredible combination of professionalism and love. The staff is incredibly open to growth and innovation. They truly do their best to help each child reach his or her potential.


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Associated Young Leadership Awards

Bnainu Bowl-A-Thon

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Season Two Balt. Chesed League

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Purim @ Neimus Hatorah

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Dalya Attar

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School Choice

2018 Bnos Yisroel Production

Rabbi Goldberger’s shul 32nd Anniversary

TI 65th Anniversary Banquet

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Nonpublic School Rally


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Biyur Chametz 2018

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Bnos Yisroel Grandparents Day

HEALTH DAY

Lag BaOmer around Baltimore


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Siyum Hashas @ Mercaz Torah U’Tefillah

Ner Israel Yarchei Kallah

JCN Women’s 5K

24th Annual Tour De Court

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Ellicot City flooding


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Biker Cholim 2018

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Hoshana Rabbah Around the Baltimore Community

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Yeshivas Bein HaZmanim with HaGaon HaRav Shmuel Kamenetsky

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Ner Israel Simchas Bais Hashoeiva

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Chanukah Around Town

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The Week In News

Israel Strikes at Syria

Satellite images show several warehouses in a Syrian army base that were destroyed by an Israeli strike last week. Israeli jets had pounded a series of targets in Syria this past week, the first major air assault since Russia gave Syria the S-300 air defense system in October. Among the targets hit was the Syrian army’s 4th division headquarters located west of Damascus.

An Israeli official said that the air force attacked three main locations last Tuesday and Wednesday which were primarily storage and logistics facilities that Iran used to ship weapons to Hezbollah. The official spoke on condition of anonymity and the IDF has not commented on the incident yet. Russia criticized the airstrikes and claimed that they endangered civilian flights. The Israeli official, however, said that Israel alerted Russia ahead of time. More strikes also occurred at the Damascus International Airport. Russian Defense Ministry spokesman Maj. Gen. Igor Konashenkob stated that the Syrian air defense forces shut down 14 of the 16 missiles that were fired by Israeli jets. The remaining two missiles were said to have hit a Syrian military depot four miles west of Damascus. According to Syrian state media, the strikes began around 10 PM and were carried out by Israel jets that overflew Lebanon. Initial reports said that Israel was targeting a group of senior Hezbollah officials that had gathered in Damascus. Lebanon’s

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Al-Mayadeen, a pro-Hezbollah newspaper, said following the strikes that no senior members of the terror group were hurt.

19,000 Tourists Turned Away

Israeli rejected a record amount of tourists in 2018 as the Jewish State bolsters its fight against the BDS movement. According to Israel, 19,000 tourists from the 4 million that visited Israel in 2018 were turned away by immigration officials at Ben Gurion Airport and the Eilat border crossing. The 19,000 tourists that were denied entry marks a steady increase in recent years. According to a report from the Population and Immigration Authority, 16,534 people were turned away in 2016, a huge increase from the 1,870 who were refused entry in 2011. The report said that tourists from eastern European countries are met with more scrutiny because they are most likely to work illegally in Israel. They are usually held at the Ben Gurion Airport at a detention center until they are flown home. In recent months, several American tourists were turned away in the wake of the anti-Israel opinions they posted on social media. The immigration authority often uses social media to help gather background information on visitors and had decided to refuse them entry amidst fears that they were organizing anti-Israel activities.

Famous Israeli Author Amos Oz Dies Israeli prize-winning author Amos Oz passed away on Friday after a short battle with cancer, his daughter said.

The author was 79. Oz was widely considered Israel’s best-known author. He won dozens of awards, including Germany’s Goethe Award and the Israel Prize, and his novels have been translated into 45 languages. Oz had been repeatedly mentioned as a leading candidate for the Nobel Prize as well.

Oz was one of the most vocal leftwing activists and supporters of a two-state solution in Israel. In a 2015 interview, Oz said that “my Zionist starting point has always been simple: we are not alone in Israel and in Jerusalem, and neither are the Palestinians. We cannot become one happy family. “There is another way: They are not going anywhere, they have nowhere to go; we have nowhere to go. The house should be divided into two families,” said Oz, who also co-founded the prominent left-wing group Peace Now. One of the author’s most famous works is “A Tale of Love and Darkness” which was adapted into a film starring Natalie Portman. It is an autobiographical story that portrayed three generations of Jewish life in Jerusalem. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called Oz “one of the greatest ever authors” in Israeli history. “He greatly contributed to the renewal of Hebrew literature, with which he deftly and emotionally expressed important aspects of the Israeli experience,” Netanyahu said. “Even though we had differences of opinion in many fields, I greatly appreciate his contributions to the Hebrew language and the renewal of Hebrew literature. His words and his writings will continue to accompany us for many years.”

Bennett and Shaked Form a “New Right” Party Education Minister Naftali Bennett


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The Week In News and Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked announced this week that they are spitting from the Jewish Home party to form their own “New Right” party (HaYemin HeHadash). The split surprised many of the politicians’ colleagues in the Jewish Home party, who said that the move came out of nowhere despite reports that the two lawmakers had been planning this for months.

secular Shaked would serve as the co-leaders of this new party. The two stated that they feel that Netanyahu is holding religious Zionists “in his pocket” and that New Right will seek to regain some of the seats that were lost to the left. Shaked said that this will be a full partnership between the secular and the Orthodox factions in the country. “We’ll regain Knesset seats that have slipped from the Likud to the left — to parties that claim to be right wing but are in fact left,” she said. “The party will strengthen the right.” “I want to be very, very clear,” Bennett said. “The New Right party is right-wing, no buts and no sort-ofs. In favor of the Land of Israel without compromise, against a Palestinian state, period. If there had been a party like this 13 years ago, the disengagement [from the Gaza Strip] would not have happened.” Snap polls after Bennett and Shaked left the Jewish Home showed their new party gaining as much as 14 seats while their former faction hovers around the electoral threshold.

Bennett and Shaked didn’t start their own party officially but purchased a 12-year old party called “Tzalash” about four months ago. Attorney Amichai Weinberger said that they purchased it from its original owner in exchange for paying the defunct party’s annual registration fees. The Orthodox Bennett and the

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Gabbay Splits from Livni

On Tuesday, shocking everyone but himself, Labor party leader Avi Gabbay announced that he would be splitting from his partnership with opposition leader Tzipi Livni. The announcement came when Gabbay, with Livni sitting by his side, told MKs that he would be disbanding the Labor-Hatnua partnership that constituted the Zionist Union. It was clear that Livni had no prior knowledge of the split before the cameras were rolling. Gabbay said that he had “hoped and believed that the new partnership would lead to our joint growth, to a real connection, and to mutual support. But the smart public has seen that this is not the case, and has drawn away.” He added that he did not get respect from Livni during their time together. On Tuesday afternoon, Livni acknowledged that she was blindsided by Gabbay, adding that he could have at least called her before making the announcement publicly. “Last week, I said that our priorities must be the state, the party, and then myself,” Livni said hours later at a press conference. “What you heard today [Gabbay’s speech] is what I heard throughout this entire period: Me, me, me. “I created the Zionist Union as a partnership between Labor and Hatnua along with Isaac Herzog,” she said, referring to the previous Labor leader, who is now the chief of the Jewish Agency for Israel. “My partnership with Herzog brought 24 seats to the party,” she said, referring to the 2015 elections. “Gabbay was right on

one thing today – there was no partnership between us. He doesn’t want a partnership. The way he ended things today proves that.” She added that she will be moving forward, despite the setback. Gabbay’s move came after Livni called last week for the country’s centrist and leftist parties to “set our egos aside” and unite in a bid to unseat Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. In an apparent dig at Gabbay, who has reportedly refused to consider a union with another party in which he is not number one, she said she would be the first to give up pride of place on a new unity slate. She has since been rumored to be seeking to join forces with the new political party Israel Resilience, founded by former IDF chief of staff Benny Gantz, who in turn is said to be wary of partnering her because she is regarded as too left-wing.

Palestinian Sentenced to Life for Selling Land to a Jew

This week, a Palestinian Authority court in Ramallah sentenced a Palestinian American to life in prison for attempting to sell land to Jewish Israelis in Jerusalem. The verdict was announced on Monday when Issam Akel, a resident of East Jerusalem, was given the harsh news. He is allowed to appeal the ruling. A report on the PA judiciary’s website said an individual with the same initials as Akel was sentenced to life in prison for attempting “to annex part of the Palestinian lands to an alien state.” Akel, a resident of Jerusalem’s Beit Hanina neighborhood, is a holder of a blue Israeli identification card. The official said the PA arrested


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The Week In News him October and has since held him in its custody. The PA rarely arrests and carries out judicial proceedings against residents of Jerusalem who hold Israeli ID cards. Asked about Akel’s sentencing, a U.S. official said the American government had knowledge of reports about it. “We are aware of reports that a U.S. citizen has been sentenced by a Palestinian court. When a U.S. citizen is incarcerated abroad, the US government works to provide all appropriate consular assistance,” the

official said in a statement. Palestinian law considers attempting to sell or selling land to Israeli Jews a punishable offense. According to the law, possible punishments for trying to sell or selling land to Jewish Israelis include various degrees of hard labor and imprisonment as well as execution. The law requires that PA President Mahmoud Abbas approve any death sentence, and he has not signed off on any executions since 2006. In November, U.S. Ambassador to

Israel David Friedman called on Ramallah to release Akel. “The Pal Authority has been holding US citizen Isaam Akel in prison for ~2 months,” Friedman tweeted on November 28. “His suspected ‘crime’? Selling land to a Jew. Akel’s incarceration is antithetical to the values of the US & to all who advocate the cause of peaceful coexistence. We demand his immediate release.” There are indications that Israel has attempted to pressure the PA over the issue by arresting members of the

group in Jerusalem in recent months. Since Akel’s arrest, Israel has collared and then released PA Jerusalem Governor Adnan Ghaith a few times. Israeli security forces have also arrested 32 East Jerusalem residents on suspicion of supporting and serving in the PA security forces. According to a police statement, the suspects were Israeli residents, and some were receiving social benefits from the state while also serving in the PA’s armed forces, which is illegal under the 1994 Gaza-Jericho agreement. Israel also halted security coordination with the PA in parts of the West Bank adjacent to Jerusalem in recent weeks. Security coordination allows for the PA to operate in villages adjacent to Jerusalem, where it does not have a permanent security presence.

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Harvard & High School Graduating high school at 16 is a big deal. Graduating Harvard is a big deal – at any age. But graduating high school and Harvard at the same time when you’re 16 is pretty amazing. Braxton Moral is set to graduate from Ulysses High School in Kansas on May 19, 2019. On May 30, just a few days later, he will attend university ceremonies to receive his Harvard undergraduate degree. Turns out, Moral is “really, really gifted.” His talents were apparent from a really young age.

Braxton’s father, Carlos Moral, told the Associated Press that he and his wife began to realize their son was extra-special when he was in the third


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The Week In News grade. “They told us: ‘You need to do something. He’s not just gifted. He’s really, really gifted,’” Carlos Moral said. Braxton’s school then decided to let him skip the 4th grade. Since middle school, Braxton has been studying at the Harvard extension school, taking many of his courses online and attending classes on campus during summers in high school. He will graduate with a BA, having majored in government with a minor in English. He says he started taking the extra classes primarily as a way to chal-

lenge himself. “I was very bored, unchallenged, or I guess that’s what they said,” Braxton says of his early college enrollment. “My mom always says I was depressed and not being stimulated educationally.” Braxton hopes to eventually head to Harvard Law School to pursue a career in national politics. Despite his future degrees and career, Braxton is still young at heart. He hangs out with friends, sees movies, and plays video games like World of Warcraft. He certainly never thought that his achievement would garner so

much attention. “I never really anticipated any large response,” Braxton says. “I thought it would help me as a person improve.” The drive for achievement has been his alone. “There’s certain parts of myself that I really have pride in,” he tells TIME. “I try to be as ambitious as I can be, and my parents are just really supportive.” Wouldn’t you be supportive if your child graduated Harvard at 16? It’s a Jewish mother’s dream.

Big Baby

Jennifer and Eric Medlock knew that they were expecting a big baby this month. But they were just as surprised as their doctors when Ali James


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The Week In News Medlock was born on December 12 a whopping 14 pounds, 13 ounces. Twice the size of an average newborn, Ali is the largest child ever delivered at Texas Health Arlington Memorial Hospital in Arlington, Texas. “We did not expect 14 pounds,” Jennifer told USA Today on Friday, December 28. “Nobody did.” Ali, who arrived via C-section, spent one week in the neonatal intensive care unit due to low blood sugar, low platelet counts and rapid breathing. “It doesn’t matter how big he is,” Jennifer said while speaking with KTVT. “I’m so blessed.” Interestingly, Jennifer did not suffer from gestational diabetes, a condition that can cause a baby to grow very big in utero when not properly treated. “He’s sleeping and eating and he’s just a healthy boy,” Eric told KTVT. “Just a little bit bigger than you would expect.”

Ali is already wearing size 6-month clothing and a size 3 diaper. New dad Eric quipped, “We skipped [size] zero very quickly!” According to American Pregnancy, the average newborn weighs sevenand-a-half pounds at birth. The heaviest baby born to a healthy mother was 22 pounds, 8 ounces in Italy in 1955. That can’t be easy to rock to sleep.

frustrating, and there’s no better way to ease stress than with a box of delicious Popeyes fried chicken and a good laugh,” Hope Diaz, the company’s chief marketing officer, said in a statement. Emotional support animals have been in the headlines recently as a series of high-profile incidents involving unusual species – including a peacock and a fish – led some airlines to tighten their restrictions on the animals.

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“We appreciate how comforting emotional support animals are and wanted to create our own version,” Diaz added. “The good news is that our emotional support chicken is permitted to fly without any restrictions – one less worry for busy travelers!” Despite the cute, tongue-incheek promotion, the emotional support chicken idea damaged some people’s psyche, and criticism on the web circulated. Perhaps the people complaining are those who are in need of their emotional support squirrels. Please don’t let them sit near me.

Naiman continued his legacy after death: he left all his wealth to children’s charities. A year has gone by since Naiman passed away, unmarried and childless. He loved kids but also was intensely private, scrimping, investing and working extra jobs to stockpile money that he rarely spent on himself after seeing how unfair life could be for the most vulnerable children, his friends say. Naiman grew up with an older brother who had a developmental disability. His brother died in 2013, and friends say he was very influenced by his special relative. The year his brother died, Naiman spent money on a sport car, a modestly priced Scion FR-S. A former banker, Naiman worked the past two decades at the state Department of Social and Health Services, handling after-hours calls. He earned $67,234 and also took on side gigs, sometimes working as many as three jobs. He saved and invested enough to make several millions of dollars and also inherited millions more from his parents, said Shashi Karan, a friend from his banking days. Thrilled when he finally qualified for senior discounts, Naiman bought his clothes from the grocery store. He loved cars, but for the most of his life, drove beat-up vehicles and seemed to enjoy the solitude and savings of solo road trips, friends say.

A Life of Thrift; a Heart of Gold Alan Naiman would walk around with duct tape holding his shoes together. He would buy food at the deli at closing time to obtain cheaper prices. But saving money, it seems, was a sport rather than a necessity. Naiman died in January 2018 of cancer at the age of 63. His closest friends were amazed when they found out that the Washington social worker left behind an estate of $11 million. Living a life of helping people,

Many of the organizations benefiting from Naiman’s enormous gifts said they didn’t know him, though they had crossed paths. He left $2.5 million to the Pediatric Interim Care Center, a private organization in Washington state that


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The Week In News cares for babies born to mothers who abused drugs and helps the children wean off their dependence. The group used some of what was its largest donation ever to pay off a mortgage and buy a new vehicle to transport the 200

babies it accepts from hospitals each year. Naiman had called the center about a newborn while working for the state more than a decade ago, and its founder, Barbara Drennen, showed up in the middle of the night to get the

baby. Naiman gave $900,000 to the Treehouse foster care organization, telling them that he was a foster parent years ago and had brought kids in his care to the group’s popular warehouse, where

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wards of the state can choose toys and necessities for free. Treehouse is using Naiman’s money to expand its college and career counseling statewide.

Crossing the Ocean in a Barrel

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A Frenchman hopes to catch good waves as he makes a solo journey across the Atlantic Ocean inside a barrel. Jean-Jacques Savin, 71, departed from El Hierro, part of the Canary Islands, last Wednesday in a bright orange barrel and hopes to reach his destination, the Caribbean, in three months. The truth is, he may never get there. Savin’s vessel is traveling by using just the ocean’s currents, the BBC reported. Inside the 10-foot long barrel are a bed, kitchen and storage space. A porthole on the floor allows him to watch the ocean life. Savin, a former military parachutist, said he hoped his journey would help oceanographers study currents, as he will be dropping markers along the way. He says the ocean currents can carry him and his barrel about 2,800 miles to the nearest islands of the Caribbean. The barrel was built to resist waves and attacks from orcas. The adventurer raised the money for the journey’s $68,000 budget through crowdfunding. He took aboard a few luxuries, including a bottle of white wine for New Year’s Eve, a bottle of red wine for his 72nd birthday in January, and foie gras. Savin told AFP he hoped to land on a French island since the paperwork “would be easier.” Savin’s most recent post on social media said that the barrel was behaving “really well.” We’ll make sure to wave as you pass us by.


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42

Torah Thought

Beware of Crocodiles!

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

By Rabbi Zvi Teichman

Moshe and Aharon are told by G-d to confront Pharaoh once again, warning him to release the Children of Israel or face the consequences of the plagues. In their first attempt to impress upon Pharaoh the power of their message, G-d instructs them that when Pharaoh will request of them to ‫תנו‬ )‫לכם מופת (שמות ז ט‬, “provide a wonder for yourselves”, Aharon should take his staff, cast it down before Pharaoh and ‫יהי לתנין‬, it will become a tannin. Aharon proceeds to do as he was told and indeed his staff transforms into a tannin. Pharaoh then directs his sorcerers to duplicate this ‘trick’ and they succeed in doing so. Aharon’s staff eventually swallows up the all of their staffs and despite that remarkable feat, Pharaoh remains unimpressed hardening his heart and refusing to free the Jews. What was intended in this introductory episode before the onslaught of the ten subsequent plagues? There was no punishment afflicted upon them merely an attempt to impress Pharaoh with the power of G-d that

Moshe and Aharon represented. But it didn’t work and there seems no obvious message inherent therein. Although the plagues didn’t accomplish their goal either until the very last one, nevertheless there was a clear progression in the message being conveyed; G-d’s total mastery over sea, land, sky and beyond. What then was the objective in transforming a staff into a tannin? Most commentaries translate tannin as ‘snake’. Yet when Moshe was told by G-d to display a similar miracle before the Children of Israel it refers to the more common word nachash, in describing how the staff turned into a ‘snake’. Why is the use of ‘tannin’ used here? The Ibn Ezra and others imply that perhaps the serpent depicted here was no simple snake but rather a crocodile. The Prophet Yechezkel describes Pharaoh as: ‫התנים הדגול הרבץ בתוך יאריו‬ ‫אשר אמר לי יארי ואני עשיתיני (יחזקאל‬ )‫כט ג‬, Pharaoh, King of Egypt, the great ‘serpent’ that lies in the midst of his rivers, that has said: My river is mine own, and I have made myself.

In ancient Egypt the crocodile was deified as the very source for the mighty river Nile that it inhabited. Its image became the hieroglyphic for ‘monarchy’ as the verse indicates the Egyptian rulers viewed themselves as the ‘Great Crocodile’ who created his own image and the river as well. These creatures were mummified, enshrined and worshiped. The Holy Cohen of Tzefas, Rabbi Mordechai HaCohen, in his remarkable work, Sifsei Cohen, avers that G-d actually transformed Pharaoh into a veritable crocodile. He points out on the verse previously cited that foretells how after Aharon will cast his staff to the ground it will turn into a tannin, it states '‫'יהי לתנין‬, in the grammatical form of a command to turn into a tannin: ‘and it shall be a tannin’, rather than using the more accurate wording, '‫'ויהי לתנין‬, simply predicting how at that future encounter it will turn into a tannin. He therefore understands G-d’s words as an order to Pharaoh, not only the stick, to transform into a crocodile, ‫יהי לתנין‬, and ‘he’ shall become a crocodile. This, he suggests, was the method by which G-d assured Pharaoh would remain stubbornly hard-hearted and not easily give in. He would have to transform him from his formerly fragile human form into the mightily resistant crocodile who would never readily succumb. He points out that the word ‫תנין‬, serpent, is numerically equivalent to the word ‫תיק‬, which in the cypher system known as ‫'את‬ '‫בש‬, where the first letter of the aleph beis, )‫ (א‬corresponds to the last )‫(ת‬, the second letter )‫ (ב‬to the next to the last )‫(ש‬, (thus called ‫את בש‬,) and so on with each subsequent letter, ‫תיק‬ corresponds accordingly to the letters ‫ם‬- ָ‫ד‬-‫א‬, ָ man, thus intimating his metamorphosis from man to beast. Only the aggressive and greedy crocodile would lock its most powerful jaw in utter refusal to release its prey; the Jewish nation, from its grip.

The great nineteenth century Hungarian rabbinic figure and scholar, Rabbi Aharon Fried, in his work Zkan Aharon, explains the evolution of the Egyptian thinking that led to the deification of crocodiles. Quoting from the Sefer ha-Ikkarim, the popular tome of fifteenth century philosopher, Rabbi Yosef Albo, he describes how the people observed how the natural world generally functions without struggle, fear or worry. Animals are born equipped with clothing, food and shelter naturally available to them. There is no need for production of clothing, processing of food, nor complex building of shelter. Acting out of instinct and being part of the ecosystem of nature, they exist in calm bliss. Man though from the moment of his frail birth must ward off the elements, fight for his bread, and compete for his space, living in conscious fear and anxiety as to how he will possibly survive. They concluded that man must be despised by the gods for how else can one accept the life of travail he must face. They therefore loyally committed their allegiance to the powers of nature, seeing in the Nile that source of life, the mighty crocodile who instills fear in all who enter its space as the symbol to emulate in a world where ‘force’ and ‘might’ reign supreme. It is man’s right, nay, duty, they claimed, to assert his authority in controlling the weaker elements within the natural world under his domain. That is the natural order for life. They venerated this notion and considered those who would be vassals of the state as fortunate to be part of ‘ecology’ of the Egyptian state. This would shed light on another anomaly in the verse. G-d refers to Pharaoh’s eventual request of ‫'תנו לכם‬ '‫מופת‬, literally translated as to ‘provide a wonder for yourselves’. Wasn’t Pharaoh challenging them to provide a sign that would impress him and his cohorts; ‘give me a sign of your might’, and not for the sake of Moshe and Aharon? There was a major philosophical polemic taking place. Pharaoh


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claimed that the Jewish nation were happy to be part of the ecosystem of Egyptian society and were already consumed within its reality. The forces of nature under which he claimed the world pledged allegiance had absorbed them into its ‘clamped jaw’, and they were helpless in extricating themselves from its inevitable grasp.

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It was the evidence of the stick, from the strata of vegetative growth, that was able to elevate itself to the next level of animative life, which would seek to expose Pharaoh’s fallacy. Moshe sought to introduce Pharaoh to the notion that each level of the four categories of the natural world: the inanimate; the vegetative; the animal; and the speaking, humans, raises itself by serving each subsequent higher level until one reaches the driving force behind this hierarchy, the absolute ‘will of G-d’ that generates the power within this marvelous machine, drawing them all to a supernal purpose.

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This lesson was indeed a wonder that reflected on the greatness of man and his ability to inspire a world by allegiance to the word of G-d. Pharaoh would eventually shed his crocodile suit and come to terms with this new realization. But in the first foray in de-constructing Pharaoh’s crocodile philosophy it was vital for this very significant demonstration to assert this contrary belief.

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The Kabbalists point out that this enemy’s very name ‫מצרים‬, Mitzrayim, is a contraction of the two words, ‫מיצר‬, confined space, and ‫ים‬, the expansive sea. This represents their limited view that confined their world to the edges of the natural world, as far as one can see, but never making the next natural association in observing the color of the sea, that is similar to the color of the sky, that is reminiscent of the hue in the Throne of Glory above.

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We all live, in a manner, in ‘crocodile infested waters’. We feel con-

strained by our nearsighted vision that refuses to accept our potential for growth. We despair that we are limited by our deficient intellect, poor skills or weak social position. Our failures in the past only convince us that we cannot succeed. We often allow ourselves to be consumed by the ‘bigger fish in the sea’ submitting to all the mighty crocodiles that lurk in the darkness. The great and illustrious Rabbi Meir Shapiro adds another layer to this important message. The transforming of the holy staff that had the Ineffable Name of G-d etched into it would become a contaminated serpent in the company of Pharoah and his lackeys. However, the minute Aharon HaKohen would retake it, it returned to its natural holy state. This was instructive to the Jewish nation in teaching them that their despair stems from being in the clutches of the jaw of that crocodile state Egypt. The second they are willing to accept their greatness; their mission; their inherent worth and connection to G-d they can escape and achieve all that they truly desire to. We too fall victim to the poisonous forces of the society we live in and its values. If we are to extract ourselves from its powerful grip we must elevate ourselves to newer and higher realities. Crocodiles have the mightiest jaws in the world able to apply 5,000 pounds of pressure per square inch. Yet ironically its jaw’s opening strength is so meek that it’s jaws can be held shut with a simple rubber band. The lesson is clear. Never be exposed to the clutches of these dangerous attitudes. All it takes is a simple commitment to keep that trap shut. If we stay away we are guaranteed to flourish naturally, basking in G-d’s benevolence and kindness, growing unimpeded in our avodas Hashem.


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42

OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

46

Life C ach

JANUARY 3, 2019

An Old Story

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

By Rivki D. Rosenwald Esq., MFT, CLC

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

S

o many people have been saying, “Go see this show, ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’” In Yiddish, no less! Do I look like I’m from the old country?! But they say there are subtitles and the flavor of it, in this mother tongue, is so interesting and authentic. For me, listening to people talk about this show reminded me of a famous dispute from it. And got me thinking: “It is a horse!” “It is a mule!” “It is a horse!” “It is a mule!” “Horse!” “Mule!” “Horse!” “Mule!” For some, this may be a familiar line. It’s a classic argument from the show “Fiddler on the Roof.” The wise rabbi in the play is called in to solve disputes. He listens to the first side and says, “You are right.” Then he listens to the second side and he says, “You are right, too.” A confused onlooker queries, “Rabbi, how can they both be right?” And the rabbi answers, “You are right too.” What a beautiful perspective. Everyone has a valid point from where they are coming from. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone

could recognize that there could be more than one right?! Because this – fighting over who is right – is sometimes just plain wrong. When we are trying to move forward or work together, continuing to repeat what’s right for you fails to recognize that something else may be right for someone else. This

where significant fighting with the other and only recognizing their own truth. A resolution starts when one recognizes the other’s truth is right for the other person. And then, they can move to the next step: how do we now find a way to connect? Let’s take a simple example: one person works best by going to bed early and then getting up early to get

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone could recognize that there could be more than one right?!

keeps people from connecting, resolving, and moving forward. The rabbi in “Fiddler on the Roof” makes a great point, albeit, through humor: two people can be right from where they are coming from – informed by their history, taste, needs, etc. But one gets no-

things done. Another person works best staying up late into the night, using their second wind energy, in a quiet environment. So how do they work together when necessary? Neither is necessarily the right way to work. It’s just their right way. This is where connection starts!

It could be shaky getting there. Just like a fiddler balancing on a roof. But we don’t want to just teeter forever. We want to find some stability. So we look for collaborations. Sometimes the collaboration plays out so that we take turns. For instance, it can be a “horse” this time and a “mule” the next. Sometimes the collaboration happens by each giving in a bit and creating a shared result: a “morse” or a “hule.” The important thing is not only to recognize that there can be two rights but also to find the “third right.” That is, what is right for the “we.” Remember the lesson of “Fiddler on the Roof.” Remember that “in the little village of Anatevka everybody is a fiddler on the roof.” And in our respective environments, so are we all. We are all trying to find stability. If we are stuck seeing only our horse, then we are just a stubborn mule!

Rivki Rosenwald is a certified relationship counselor, and career and life coach. She can be contacted at 917-7052004 or rivki@rosenwalds.com.


47

—Libby P.

TO aspire

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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

JANUARY 3, 2019

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M


2019

Shevat 22

Shevat 15

Shevat 8

Shevat 1

Tevet 23

Monday

28

21

14

7

31

Shevat 16

Shevat 23

30

23

16

Tevet 25

Shevat 3

Shevat 24

Shevat 17

Shevat 10

Lecture 7:45pm @Park Heights JCC see page 55

Dr. David Pelcovitz

9

2

Wednesday

February

Shevat 9

Shevat 2

Tevet 24

Tuesday

29

22

see Cover and page 15

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15

8

1

January

Tevet 29

Tevet 22

Sunday

3

Friday Tevet 27

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Shevat 5

4:45 PM

Shevat 12

4:52 PM

Shevat 19

5:00 PM

Shevat 26

2

Shevat 6

5:41 PM

Tevet 28

Saturday

26

5:46 PM

Shevat 13

5:54 PM

6:10 PM

Shevat 27

6:02 PM

Shevat 20

BY High School Production

19

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Shalom Tikvah’s 2nd annual Pave the Way

12

5

Community Calendar

1

25

18

Dirshu International Convention 1/11 - 1/13 see pg 52-53

11

4

Tevet/Shevat 5779

Shevat 25

Shevat 18

Next BJH Issue

Shevat 11

Shevat 4

Tevet 26

Thursday

10

17

24

31

5:08 PM

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30

6 NEIMA; Presentation with

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Shevat 21

Shevat 14

Shevat 7

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20

27

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‫שבת פרשת בא‬

‫ תשע"ט‬,‫ז' שבט‬-'‫ · ה‬JANUARY 11-13, 2019

This ‫ שבט‬Celebrate Join together with Lomdei Dirshu Simchas Torah Once Again ...

to participate in the upcoming convention marking

outstanding Ameilus B’Torah – which will celebrate

the tremendous achievements of many thousands from across all segments of Klal Yisrael who have learned with accountability in an unprecedented way.

BottomLineMG.com

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The event will be graced by Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei

Yeshiva, and Rabbanim from across North America and abroad – all gathered for an uplifting maamid of Kiddush Shem Shamayim and Kavod HaTorah.

2701 SUMMER STREET STAMFORD, CT 06905

Th e fea Motz tur ei the e the Shab b Daf siy um os / G H a ra the Y o up omi B n Mis nd M com ela hn 'Ha ve ah lac ing B ha eru Malk Dir P a shu ra ro Wo gram h Che progr am rld lek as w Siy w um ell a Gimm ill s im 202 detai el of ls 0/ ‫ ש"פ‬on

‫ת‬

Be Part of a Truly Uplifting Torah Experience For more information about the complete Shabbos convention please call

888-5-Dirshu x.107 or email Shabbos@DirshuNJ.org


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The overall program will c"qa be graced by the presence of Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim, shlita:

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CONVENTION HIGHLIGHTS

JANUARY 3, 2019

Shiurim in lomdus, drush and chizuk from Gedolei Yisrael and leading Rabbonim

Shirium in Halacha from leading Poskim and Dayonim

Comprehensive program for women

Tefillos and zemiros led by R’ Isaac Honig & The Shira Choir

Motzei Shabbos/ Grand Melave Malka with live music by The Berko Brothers

— Details Forthcoming —

Bus transportation will be available on Motzei Shabbos from: Boro Park

New Square

Lakewood

Monsey

Williamsburg

14th Ave & 50th Street Departure: 7:30 pm

Washington corner Jackson Departure: 8:00 pm

Chemed Parking Lot Departure: 7:00 pm

Maple Ave & Main St. Departure: 8:00 pm

Bedford Ave & the Highway Departure: 7:30 pm

To reserve a seat or for information about possible transportation from other locations:

Call:

888-5-Dirshu x.106

Email: Info@DirshuNJ.org

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MOTZEI SHABBOS PROGRAM OPEN TO THE PUBLIC FREE OF CHARGE


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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JANUARY 3, 2019

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My Israel Home

Eilat More Than a Vacation Destination By Gedaliah Borvick Eilat in 1963

S B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

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omeone recently contacted me expressing interest in moving to Eilat, the holiday resort town on the southern tip of Israel. That interesting request caught my immediate attention, and I peppered him with many questions: are you in the hotel industry? No. Are you an avid scuba diver, windsurfer or sailor? No, no and no. So, what is the allure of Eilat? Simon explained that he works for a start-up firm in travel tech, and the company wants him to open an office in Eilat, a city which is making great strides in this field. Israel is a trailblazer in the travel technology industry and is home to more than three hundred travel tech startup companies. Due to Israel’s expertise, Booking.com, a world-leading website and search engine for travel and lodging reservations, recently opened a research and development center in Tel Aviv. Although travel

tech firms are found across the country, Eilat is gaining traction due to its ranking as Israel’s top travel destination. A vacation oasis on the shores of the Red Sea, Eilat has over 11,000 hotel rooms – followed by Jerusalem with 10,380 rooms and Tel Aviv-Jaffa with 7,900 rooms – and provides an ideal environment for startups to test their products and technologies. Eilat is also a leader in tourist accessibility. Eilat’s new Ramon Airport, situated ten miles north of the city, will open in early 2019 and offer an impressive new international gateway to southern Israel and the Red Sea. The Ramon Airport is set to initially handle up to two million passengers a year and can be expanded to double its capacity. In addition, Eilat has an international seaport, which hosts cruise ships. After learning about Eilat’s business appeal, in addition to its re-

nowned tourist industry, I now understood why Eilat is in rapid growth mode, with plans to triple the population from almost 50,000 to 150,0000 residents. The fact that housing prices are lower than in central Israel, coupled with Eilat being a free trade zone – which means that purchases are exempt from the 17% value added tax (VAT) – are significant selling points in attracting young families to the city. Simon, an observant Jew, needed help to identify the right neighborhood for his family’s religious, social and educational needs. Eilat offers many synagogue options, and the schooling options reflect this wide spectrum of religious diversity, offering a broad array of educational choices from preschool through high school. The city also boasts numerous post-high school programs, including a satellite Ben Gurion University

campus as well as a Hesder yeshiva, which combines Judaic studies with military service. The yeshiva is a driving force behind the city’s religious institutions and programs, and many of its alumni hold key positions in the municipality’s educational system and social services programs. Postscript: We helped Simon find a lovely apartment in the ideal neighborhood for his family, who quickly acclimated to their new surroundings. Like true natives, they have gone nautical and are enjoying sailing and scuba diving lessons in the Red Sea.

Gedaliah Borvick is the founder of My Israel Home (www.myisraelhome.com), a real estate agency focused on helping people from abroad buy and sell homes in Israel. To sign up for his monthly market updates, contact him at gborvick@gmail.com.


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know what our

??

children know

?

JANUARY 3, 2019

really?

Don’t wait. Educate.

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Do WE

Chayeinu

THE HONEST TRUTH They know more than we think. What are our children hearing from their friends about juuls, marijuana and alcohol? How can we properly educate them on these topics?

Addiction impacts lives in profound and painful ways.

Dr. David Pelcovitz

January 9, 2019 | 8:00PM park heights jcc Doors open at 7:45pm Sponsored by Chayeinu, dedicated to helping parents recognize, prevent and overcome the challenges of addiction.

This event is being supported with a generous grant from Aaron and Ilana Blackman in memory of their friend Dovid Gutman.

For more information, contact Chayeinubaltimore@gmail.com. This event is endorsed by Rabbi Hopfer.

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Internationally noted psychologist and author of Balanced Parenting, will address these questions and more!


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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JANUARY 3, 2019

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TJH

Centerfold

Pentagon Points There are 17.5 miles of corridors in the Pentagon. Despite its vastness, the Pentagon was designed so that you can move between any two points in the Pentagon in about 10 minutes. The Pentagon has 284 bathrooms, which is twice as many as is needed, because it was built during segregation. During the Cold War the Russians used satellite imagery to observe many military officers entering and exiting a structure in the center of the Pentagon’s courtyard and they concluded that it was the entrance to an underground bunker. It was actually a hot dog stand. Since it was presumed that the Russians had their missiles zeroed in on this structure, the hot dog stand earned the nickname “Cafe Ground Zero, the deadliest hot dog stand in the world.”

You gotta be kidding As he comes out of his office at about 8 P.M. he sees the general standing by the classified document shredder in the hallway, a piece of paper in his hand. “Do you know how to work this thing?” the general asks. “My secretary’s gone home and I don’t know how to run it.” “Yes, sir,” says the young officer, who turns on the machine, takes the paper from the general, and feeds it in. “Now,” says the general, “I just need one copy…”

Answer to Riddle Me This: Hair.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

A young officer is working late at the Pentagon one evening.

Although a building of the Pentagon’s size normally would take approximately 4 years to build, the Pentagon took just 16 months to build. The 9/11 attacks, one of which took place when a plane crashed into the Pentagon and killed 184 people, took place on the 60th anniversary of the groundbreaking of the Pentagon. There is no marble in the Pentagon, as it was built during World War II, and Italy, the source of marble, was an enemy country. Major Leslie Groves, who oversaw the day-today construction of the Pentagon, also oversaw the Manhattan Project, which successfully developed the world’s first atomic bomb. Approximately 25,000 people work in the Pentagon and approximately 100,000 emails are sent daily from the Pentagon.

Riddle me this? We are just like people. We grow, we get old, we die off. We come in many different colors. Black, white, brown. We come in an army, there are thousands of us, yet we have no war. But we will still die off over the years. What am I?

?? ?

See answer to the left


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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3. What is the approximate annual defense budget for the U.S.? a. $715 billion b. $950 billion c. $1.2 trillion d. $2 trillion

a. 3 b. 4 c. 5

4. Which of the following is the largest U.S. military base?

d. 6 2. Approximately how many civilians (non-military) work for the Department of Defense? a. 240,000 b. 700,000 c. 1.2 million d. 3 million

a. Fort Hood (TX) b. Joint Base Lewis-McChord (WA) c. Fort Bragg (NC) d. Fort Campbell (KY) 5.

In which foreign country is there the largest U.S. military presence? a. Afghanistan

d. You fire your aide.

d. Japan 6. On your first day on the job as secretary of defense, while you are in the middle of a secure briefing, your aide tells you that you have a call from a five-star general in the army. What do you do?

7. Which of the following is America’s biggest defense contractor? a. Lockheed Martin b. Boeing c. Northrop Grumman d. General Dynamics

a. Protocol requires you to pick up a five-star general’s call unless you are with the president. b. The Secretary of Defense only makes outbound calls so you call him back. c. You request a secure video conference line.

 Answers

 Wisdom Key 6-7 correct: You get the job as the new Secretary of Defense! Mad Dog Friedman...Mad Dog Goldberg...Mad Dog Levy... That’s going to strike fear in the hearts of our adversaries. 3-5 correct: Not bad. You get the job as Deputy Assistant Vice Substitute Replacement Under Under Under Undersecretary of Defense. 0-2 correct: You, my friend, are a five-star general!

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

b. Israel

c. Germany

JANUARY 3, 2019

1. How many branches are there of the U.S. Armed Forces?

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So You Want to Be the New Secretary of Defense

3. A 2. B- The Department of Defense (DoD) is the largest employer in the U.S. with 2.15 million active service members and approximately 732,000 civilian employees. 1. C- There are 5 branches of the U.S. Armed Forces: Air Force, Army, Coast Guard, Marine Corps, and Navy.

6. D- There are no living five-star generals in the army. The rank of five5. D- Japan leads the way with approximately 40K U.S. troops stationed there. Germany follows with approximately 34K. Then comes South Korea with 24K. 4. C- Fort Bragg has a population of 238,646, spread over 163,000 acres.

7. A- Lockheed sells military aircraft, missiles, drones, ships and many other things. The government accounts for nearly all of Lockheed’s business. star general was created during World War II and only five generals received the ranking. The last five-star general, Gen. Oma Bradley, died in 1981.


B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

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Dirshu Gedolei Yisroel Give Chizuk to Lomdei Dirshu in Advance of Siyum on Chelek Gimmel of Mishnah Berurah World Siyum Details to Be Unveiled at Grand Melava Malka at Dirshu Convention By Chaim Gold

“You will see, the olam will sit and learn [Chelek Daled of Mishnah Berurah]. They will be matzliach!” Those were the words of HaGaon HaRav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, shlita, Rosh Yeshiva of the Slabodka Yeshiva, responding to the news of the siyum of Chelek Gimmel of Mishnah Berurah in Dirshu’s Daf HaYomi B’Halacha Program and the commencement of Chelek Daled. Rav Moshe Hillel was responding to the feeling of some that it is difficult to learn Chelek Daled because it contains the complex halachos of Eruvin. Rav Hirsch acknowledged the difficulty while simultaneously conveying the concept that he was very confident that Lomdei Dirshu, would persevere, just as they have been tested on the first three volumes of Mishnah Berurah. World Siyum Details at Grand Melava Malka The recent meeting with Rav Hirsch, while he was in America, was one of numerous meetings with Gedolei Yisrael in honor of the upcoming siyum on Chelek Gimmel at the Grand Melava Malka to be held during the Dirshu International Convention this coming Shabbos Parshas Bo at the Crown Plaza Hotel in Stamford, Connecticut. At the melava malka, the exciting plans for Dirshu’s World Siyum will be unveiled. The assemblage will hear detailed plans of large gatherings promoting kovod haTorah and recognizing the accomplishments of Lomdei Dirshu. The siyumim will begin with massive siyumim in Eretz Yisroel, followed by England, France and South Africa, and culminating in a enormous siyum at the Prudential Center in Newark, NJ, in mid-February, 2020. Senior members of the Dirshu’s hanhala led by Dirshu’s Nasi, Rav

Dovid Hofstedter, visited with numerous Gedolim both in the United States and Eretz Yisroel, where the Gedolim gave them chizuk in advance of the upcoming siyum on Chelek Gimmel and also gave their brachos for the plans for the World Siyumim to be held next year. Among the Gedolim visited in America were HaGaon HaRav Matisyohu Salomon, shlita, Mashgiach Beth Medrash Govoha Lakewood, the Rachmastrivka Rebbe, shlita, HaGaon HaRav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, shlita (who was in America for a visit), HaGaon HaRav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, shlita, Rosh Yeshivas Tiferes Yerachmiel, the Sanz-Klausenberger Rebbe, shlita, and the Vienner Rav, Rav Asher Anshel Katz, shlita. Meetings with leading senior Gedolim in Eretz Yisrael representing the entire cross-section of Charedi Jewry, Litvish, Chassidish and Sefardic, culminated in a deeply moving maamad held at the home of the Sar HaTorah, HaGaon HaRav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita. Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch: “Nifla Meod! Nifla Meod!” At the meeting with Rav Moshe Hillel Hirsch, Rav Hofstedter explained how many of the Lomdei Dirshu will be making a siyum for being tested on the entire Shas. Some have even taken cumulative tests on all of Shas and are true Shas Yidden. “Many of them did not even realize that they had the kochos to learn and be tested on Shas, but the challenge and perseverance of learning with a goal and accountability brought out latent abilities in them that they had not even realized they possessed!” Rav Moshe Hillel, who was visibly moved, exclaimed, “Nifla meod! Nifla meod!” He then gave his heartfelt bracha that all of the siyumim should be a

Rav Dovid Hofstedter meeting with HaRav Matisyohu Salomon prior to the siyum on Mishnah Berurah Chelek Gimmel

The Rachmastrivka Rebbe meeting with Hanhalas Dirshu regarding the siyum on Mishnah Berurah Chelek Gimmel

source of increasing k’vod shomayim without any michsholim. “The main thing,” he stressed, “is to increase k’vod shomayim.” The venerated Mashgiach of Lakewood, Rav Matisyohu Salomon, despite his weakness and compromised health, felt compelled to make time to meet with Dirshu’s hanhala to give his bracha in advance of the siyum and in advance of large World Siyumim to be held next year. The Rachmastrivka Rebbe: Lomdei Dirshu Emerge with a “Rechush Gadol” The Rachmastrivka Rebbe of Boro Park, one of the elder Rebbes of our generation, said about the Dirshu learners, “They have acquired a rechush gadol, great [spiritual] wealth!” The Rebbe added that by increasing Torah learning and promoting constant learning, chazara and goal setting, Dirshu serve as a manifestation of the words that we say in davening every day, ‘Yagdil Torah v’yaadir - the Torah is made great and glorious.’ One of the inspiring meetings was held with Rav Shlomo Feivel Schustal, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Tiferes

Yerachmiel. Rav Schustal encapsulated one of the most remarkable aspects of being part of Dirshu with a thought from Rav Yeruchem Levovitz, Mashgiach of the Mir. He said, “When each lomeid is learning on his own with great toil, he may think that he is learning on his own or with his chavrusah or in a shiur, in truth, however, he is a shutaf, a partner with all of the many thousands of lomdim in Dirshu the world over. “It is like a person seeing or meeting a brother whom he has never seen before. Just because he has not seen him, does not make him less of a brother. There is a closeness of relationship by virtue that they are all engaged in a joint mitzvah.” Rav Schustal will be attending the Dirshu Convention this coming Shabbos Parshas Bo and will be delivering a shiur to the entire assemblage. Mareh mekomos will be given in advance of the shiur so that the lomdei Torah will be able to properly prepare. As the Lomdei Dirshu anticipate the International Convention to be held on Shabbos Parshas Bo, and the siyum to be held at the Grand Melava Malka seudah, there is much interest among the general public regarding the historic nature of the worldwide siyumim to be held next year culminating in the massive demonstration of kovod haTorah in America with the siyum at the Prudential Center in Newark. The Melava Malka is open to the public and busses will be provided from major frum centers and entire assemblage at the grand Melava Malka will hear a detailed outline of the exciting events that will be graced by leading Gedolim from across the world.


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Notable Quotes “Say What?!”

The Senate passed a new criminal justice reform bill that allows judges to reduce sentences for certain low-level crimes. It turns out that the bill also defines a bunch of new crimes that deserve jail time. For example:

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JANUARY 3, 2019

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You can get up to 1 year in prison for getting in a packed elevator and only going up one floor.

There have been plenty of monsters in the past, plenty of them. But you can’t find one who was dedicated, with passion, to destroying the prospects for organized human life. Hitler was horrible enough, but not that.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

- Leftist professor Noam Chomsky in an interview with Democracy Now, positing that by not agreeing with all of the left’s positions on global warming, President Trump’s “dedication” to destroying human life is more intense than Adolf Hitler’s

I would point to the fact that it took Roosevelt many, many years to get America willing to go into World War II and fight the Nazis. We have an enemy, though different, but perhaps very much devastating in a similar way and we have to fight climate change, and the president has got to lead on that. - Gov. Jerry Brown (D-CA) on NBC’s “Meet the Press”

My New Year’s resolution is to make sure that the Republican Party dies. - An actress announcing her New Year’s resolution during CNN’s countdown to 2019

Well, I don’t know, you’d have to ask her psychiatrist. - President Trump, when asked on Fox News if he thought that Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) could win the presidency

You can get up to 3 years in prison for getting to the front of the TSA line and saying, “Wait, we have to take our shoes off?” You can get up to 6 years for not covering your mouth when you cough and saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not contagious anymore.” You can get life in prison for calling and leaving a voicemail, when you could have just texted. -Jimmy Fallon

How many people’s hearts sank when they saw the Dow went up 1,000 points because they really hoped Trump had plunged us into a bear market that would cause GOP legislators to turn on him and support removal after impeachment? - Never-Trumper John Podhoretz of the Weekly Standard

MORE QUOTES


The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015

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To all those saying we “haven’t accomplished anything,” here’s *some* of 2018:

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1. Won primary while outspent 10-1 2. Pushed #GreenNewDeal to natl convo 3. Shone new lvl transparency to gov ...all before swearing in. Admit you hold us to a higher standard than others & move on. -Tweet by Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Democrat Socialist-Queens/Bronx)

- 41-year-old Patriots quarterback Tom Brady when asked – after his team clinched the AFC East for a record 10th straight season – whether he plans on continuing to play football next year

I know I’ve talked about it for a long time; I have goals to not only play next year, but beyond that. I’m going to try to do it as best I possibly can. I’m going to give it everything I have, like I always have. It will certainly be a challenge. I don’t take any of these things for granted, but I hope I can keep playing, and I hope I can keep playing at a championship level. - Ibid.

- Jerry Stiller, at a recent event in New York, talking about his character on “Seinfeld”

Jason, Estelle [Harris, who played Estelle Costanza] and I were given the name Costanza, which sounds Italian, but there were episodes where I cooked Jewish food and ate knishes and kasha varnishkes in bed. - Ibid.

When people asked me about this, I would simply say it was because we were a Jewish family in the witness protection program. - Ibid

I think anyone that goes into the halftime show is in effect directly violating those that want to raise the question that the NFL should come to terms with what they have done and continue to do to Colin Kaepernick and those that protest on criminal justice issues. - Al Sharpton, urging entertainers to boycott the NFL

- The all-caps tweet by President Trump on New Year’s morning

As a decent person, I will have to do it one day. -Russian President Vladimir Putin when asked at his annual end-ofthe-year press conference whether he plans on ever remarrying

Trump says he will find a way to get $5 billion dollars for a wall. This explains why Don Jr. was spotted on a sidewalk next to a bell and a red kettle. – Jimmy Fallon

MORE QUOTES

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING THE HATERS AND THE FAKE NEWS MEDIA! 2019 WILL BE A FANTASTIC YEAR FOR THOSE NOT SUFFERING FROM TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME. JUST CALM DOWN AND ENJOY THE RIDE, GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING FOR OUR COUNTRY!

It was never really clear if the Costanzas were Jewish or Italian or what they were.

JANUARY 3, 2019

I absolutely believe I will.


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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

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JANUARY 3, 2019

62 This isn’t about the Wall, everybody knows that a Wall will work perfectly (In Israel the Wall works 99.9%). This is only about the Dems not letting Donald Trump & the Republicans have a win. They may have the 10 Senate votes, but we have the issue, Border Security. 2020! - President Trump, in a tweet

A tiny Jewish democracy – imperfect but vibrant, with a free press, free elections, a boisterous parliament, minorities working at the highest levels of government, etc. etc. – received 21 UN condemnations. Syria and North Korea, one each. Totalitarian China, none. –Tweet by New York Post op-ed editor Sohrab Ahmari, reflecting on 2018

#TimesSquare tradition rings in the #NewYear by dropping the big ball … If ever needed, we are #ready to drop something much, much bigger. - Tweet by the official Twitter-handle of the U.S. Strategic Command, which focuses on strategic deterrence and nuclear operations. (The Tweet was quickly deleted)

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Intensive Torah Education Excellence in General Studies Student-Centered Methodology Strong Focus on Personal Growth

For more information or to set up a personal meeting, contact the school at Office@YeshivatMekorChaim.org or (443) 399-3153.

Yeshivat Mekor Chaim shall admit Jewish students of any race, color, and national and ethnic origin and afford them all the rights, privileges, programs and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the Yeshiva. YMC does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, disability, or national or ethnic origin in the administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, athletic and other school administered programs.

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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home

Dating Dialogue

What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters

Dear Navidaters,

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

I grew up in a simple home – I had hardworking parents, who taught me good values. We never had money for extras, but we felt rich in love and were content. My mother had many words of wisdom that have influenced me during my life, and I hold her sayings very dear to me.

One of her pieces of advice was that I should never marry anyone who has rich parents because the price someone has to pay is not worth any help or generosity that may come their way. It’s better to struggle than to feel “owned,” she said. As a result, I shied away from shidduchim that started out with, “He comes from a very comfortable home.” For me that was code for danger. But, somehow, a wonderful guy kind of slipped through the cracks, and we recently started dating. We did not know that he came from a very wealthy family before we said yes to the idea. I’m very nervous now. On one hand, he seems like a very fine young man, and my parents agree. But we are all concerned about what it might mean to marry into a family that can afford to take their family away for yom tovim and vacations, buy homes for their children that are walking distance to their homes, pay for (and determine which) yeshivas their grandchildren will attend, etc. How do we deal with this situation? Though my mother is correct more often than not, could this be the exception and I would be walking away from something wonderful?

Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions.

Our intention is not to offer any definitive

conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.


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JANUARY 3, 2019

The Panel The Rebbetzin Rebbetzin Faigie Horowitz, M.S. ll absolutes are suspect when it comes to things like shidduchim. It has to be about the individual you are dating. But you also have to reflect on your ability to deal with a different family culture. Different attitudes towards money can be a source of great conflict even when it is there in abundance. Give yourself time, date the fellow further, and bring up the topic in different ways. See if he will feel comfortable in a different environment. Is it OK with him if you haven’t had the same vacation experiences, familiarity with high-end restaurants, etc., and might seem insecure? Ditto for yourself: explore your comfort level and confidence level with those that have way more than you. Think about your past experiences – do you feel obligated or do you feel natural with friends that treat you? Will you feel like you “owe” a family that may do much for you? Can you cope with being suspected as a gold digger? Can you feel proud of your family and its values? Are there expectations on both sides that need to be discussed? While you keep dating, discuss these things with a professional and the young man once things get serious. Don’t drop him because of your mother’s rule.

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(and his family) whose financial status eluded your mother’s radar, may be exceptional, in every sense of the word. If you drop this shidduch you may be shortchanging yourself. Despite your mother’s admonitions about the wealthy, it may not spoil some vast eternal plan if you lived in a mortgage-free home in a beautiful neighborhood; if your children attended yeshiva, tuition-free; if you spent Pesach in Palm Springs. If you have any cause for concern – and this should be the area of your focus – it should be more about a family’s reputation for generosity, of spirit and menschlechkeit, more than largesse. We’ve all heard of mechutanim of means who dictate every aspect of their children’s lives with their checkbooks and others who give freely, b’sever panim yafos, no strings attached. Does your suitor’s family fall into the latter category? Pay attention. As your romance progresses, observe the way he talks about his parents and how much their opinion figures into his discussion of future plans – career, home and marriage. Meet with them. Where do they fall on the Accepting vs. Arrogant Richter Scale? Take your time; do your homework; listen with all your senses. It may not be long before you can comfortably make a decision you can live with…happily ever after.

The Shadchan The Mother Sarah Schwartz Schreiber, P.A. our mother is very wise. She has taught you many lessons, including the Golden Rule – “He Who Owneth the Gold, Rules.” I take issue with that rule and many other broad-brush generalization and biases, because, quote the Sage: for every rule there is an exception. And this fine, young man

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Michelle Mond xtrapolating from your description, the young man seems to pass the first test: he seems unspoiled, refined, not entitled, not dependent on over-the-top materialism, has a foundation based on Torah, and, most importantly, not connected to his parents by a bottomless credit card account. He has a plan to become financially independent and is not reliant on his parents’

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bank accounts. If this is indeed the case, then you’ve cleared the biggest hurdle. The fact that his young man “slipped through the cracks” is reassuring. It means that while the family may be wealthy, they don’t live an excessive lifestyle nor do they flaunt their wealth. He might come from a family with values very similar to yours. Remember, one can be “spoiled by circumstance” without becoming “spoiled in personality.” As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the characteristics the young man finds appealing in you is the bare-bones, rich-inlove upbringing with which you were brought up and within which he wants to nurture his own children. In response to your quandary, I have the perfect solution: ask him. Yes, you should absolutely pose your

Where do they fall on the Accepting vs. Arrogant Richter Scale?

questions directly to him, almost verbatim from the written question. If he is of good character, then he will be prepared to be asked that question and will have an appropriate answer which should satisfy you. This might blossom into a deep meaningful conversation where you two realize that you share very similar (not necessarily exactly the

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Pulling It All Together

it because it is who they are – kind, generous individuals. And by the way, there are plenty of parents who give next to nothing or nothing at all to their children and still believe they have the right to call the shots regarding where they live, how they live, etc. And somehow, the married children listen! Get to know this young man. Ask him about his parents. Get a sense of who they are as people – are they generous, controlling, respectful toward their children, etc.? It’s possible they are wealthy and keep it all to themselves, expecting their children to make it on their own without any help from their parents. And what about this young man? What are his intentions? Even if his parents are accustomed to giving to and subsequently con-

You are experiencing a dissonance between your mother’s beliefs and your own.

trolling their children, is that a path that he would be comfortable with? Rather than basing any decisions on generalizations do your own due diligence. Ask questions, listen carefully to the answers, and at that point, decide for yourself whether the life he would have to offer is one that you would be happy living.

JANUARY 3, 2019

Tova Wein our mother is making a generalization based on what some-

times happens when someone of lesser means marries into a family of significantly greater means and that family uses their higher economic status as an opportunity to call all the shots. Does this ever happen? Certainly – we’ve all seen many families where somehow all the married children coincidentally seem to be living within a two-block radius of their parents. Have the parents paid for their homes? Most likely. But there are plenty of wealthy, generous parents out there who help and give to their children with hands wide open, not expecting anything in return. They do

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same!) values on these issues. On the other hand, if he doesn’t feel comfortable answering, or if his answer indicates that yes, you’d be on a short leash made of Ben Franklins, then you have full clarity that this is not the young man for you. Here’s to hearing some good news!

The Navidaters Dating and Relationship Coaches and Therapists

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quences such as cutting you off or guilting you – there is typically a personality issue within one or both parents that is manifesting itself through the medium of money. There are plenty of people without money who feel the need to be in control of their adult children’s lives as well.) Though your mother had the best of intentions, I believe she may have engrained her own bias within you. To make a sweeping generality that wealthy families are controlling is a certain kind of prejudice. You will have to work very hard now to separate yourself from your mother’s thinking. What are your thoughts on the matter? We all grow up in someone else’s home, exposed to someone else’s ideas. Sometimes these ideas are healthy and help us grow. But sometimes the ideas are not healthy. And

an awareness that she is ultimately responsible for her decisions, life choices, and world views. All the best, Jennifer PS – Just my two cents… Being that your mom has certain beliefs about wealthy people and the way they manipulate their children, my advice is that should you continue dating this man, you speak with someone outside of the family about any concerns or issues that arise. That someone could be a wise friend, a Rebbetzin, a mentor, a therapist or a dating coach. Esther Mann, LCSW and Jennifer Mann, LCSW are licensed psychotherapists and dating and relationship coaches working with individuals, couples and families in private practice in Hewlett, NY. To set up a consultation or to ask questions, please call 516.224.7779. Press 1 for Esther, 2 for Jennifer. Visit www.thenavidaters.com for more information. If you would like to submit a dating or relationship question to the panel anonymously, please email thenavidaters@gmail.com. You can follow The Navidaters on FB and Instagram for dating and relationship advice.

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ontinue dating. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to his relationship with his family. Notice the way he talks (or doesn’t) about his family’s wealth. As you get to know him, and spend time with his family, trust that you will see the signs of controlling parents and of a man who is willing to be controlled. You come from a beautiful home and family, rich with love and contentment. In this beautiful home, your mother instilled within you a value and life-view that marrying into a wealthy family will be ripe with problems. (No one can deny that there are wealthy families who are incredibly controlling over their children’s lives. In my opinion, when the need to control is extreme – you will have Shabbos lunch with us twice a month. You will live within a fiveblock radius of our home. We will have a say as to where our grandchildren go to school. If you break any of these rules, there will be conse-

we find ourselves confused or experiencing anxiety about life situations that force us to challenge these ideas. By writing into our panel with your thoughtful question, I am fairly certain that you are already experiencing a dissonance between your mother’s beliefs and your own. I wonder where your mother’s concern is rooted. Did your mother have a bad experience of her own? Is your mother insecure about “losing” you to a rich family who will be able to provide you and her grandchildren with what she cannot? Maybe she has heard or witnessed one horror story too many and she is simply trying to protect you. Whatever decision you reach, be sure it is yours. Have faith in yourself that you will be able to see red flags, if there are any. (Remember: right now, there aren’t any! He’s the same great guy he was before you found out his parents are wealthy.) Questioning the values your mother has instilled in you does not mean you don’t love and respect her or that you are being disobedient. It simply means that you are an adult who is expressing


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PLACES in the SPOTLIGHT // 2018 Year in Review HELSINKI After meeting for extended faceto-face talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on July 16, President Donald Trump and Putin emerged to face the press in what many consider not to have been Trump’s finest hour. Mr. Trump declined to confirm the assessment of U.S. intelligence agencies that Russia meddled in the U.S. elections. Putin seemed to toy with Trump and even gave him a FIFA soccer ball and quipped, “Now the ball is in your court.” The Secret Service quickly secured the ball and flagged it as a security risk.

PARADISE, CALIFORNIA

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This Northern California town was devastated by the wildfires that raged in November, killing at least 87 people, burning 153,336 acres, and destroying 13,972 homes and 528 commercial buildings.

HAWAII’S BIG ISLAND After a series of earthquakes, Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano erupted on May 3, opening fissures which caused ash plumes as high as 30,000 feet above sea level to spew out of the summit and sent lava pouring into residential areas, destroying 700 homes.

WINDSOR CASTLE, ENGLAND 18 million people in the United Kingdom and 28 million people across the pond in the U.S. tuned into this year’s royal wedding when Prince Harry took American actress Meghan Markle as his princess on May 19. The wedding, which cost an estimated $45 million, was attended by 600 invited guests as well as 2,640 members of the public who were present to witness the wedding procession on the grounds of Windsor Castle. After the wedding, more than 100,000 well-wishers gathered on the streets of Windsor to watch the newlyweds’ carriage procession.


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On May 14, the United States officially moved its embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. Despite a 1995 U.S. law that requires the United States to move its embassy to Jerusalem, there hadn’t been a U.S. president since then who had the moxie to formally move the embassy from Tel Aviv. When Trump officially recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel last year and then moved the embassy in May, he made lifelong friends with Jews and Israelis around the world. The Palestinians, though, were none too happy. The U.S. president noted that the embassy move took Jerusalem, “the toughest part of [peace] negotiations, off the table.” Signs in Hebrew and English thanking Trump were plastered on buses and walls around the Israeli capital during the embassy’s opening.

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JERUSALEM

On June 23, twelve boys and their soccer coach went exploring in a cave when monsoon rains flooded the cave and trapped them. They were presumed dead. Nine days later, they were all miraculously found alive, 2.5 miles from the cave’s entrance. But getting the boys out of the cave proved challenging due to rising water filling sections of the cave. Numerous options were considered, including teaching the boys to swim out with scuba gear or leaving them with supplies to wait until the water drains away after the monsoon season would end four months later. Various countries – including Israel, which sent communication technology which was used throughout the rescue effort – joined together, and within 17 days all the boys and their coach were rescued. The extraction was fraught with danger, with each boy being accompanied by professional divers, who guided them through flooded areas while wearing full scuba gear.

MARS On November 26, NASA’s InSight lander landed on Mars with the goal of giving the Red Planet its first thorough checkup. Since landing, it has been providing photos of Mars, including a selfie which it took by using a robotic arm.

After months of preparation President Trump met with North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un, AKA “Little Rocket Man,” on June 14. After meeting with Kim for approximately five hours, the two agreed to denuclearization in North Korea but the terms were vague. “Today is the beginning of an arduous process; our eyes are wide open,” declared President Trump. Kim said, “Many people in the world will think of this as a form of fantasy from a science fiction movie.” The two seemed to click, with Trump quipping to photographers at one point, “Getting a good picture, everybody? So we look nice and handsome and thin and perfect?”

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SENTOSA, SINGAPORE


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INTERNATIONAL order UPENDED // 2018 Year in Review

MEXICO //

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Swept into office with 53% of the vote, Mexico’s new president, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, took office on December 1. The left-leaning populist promised to change the strategy on Mexico’s decades-long failed war on drugs and to take on corruption by government officials. Although he penned a tome titled, “A New Hope for Mexico: Saying No to Corruption, Violence, and Trump’s Wall,” since taking office, he has worked closely with the Trump administration, shocking many. “We are in constant communication, and the communication is good. Relations are good,” he told reporters about his relationship with Trump. “It is very likely that in coming days we will talk with President Donald Trump about this issue in particular, the immigration issue,” he added. Keep Chuck and Nancy out of that meeting.

FRANCE //

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In 2017, President Emmanuel Macron won almost two-thirds of the national vote. Now, his approval ratings are in the low-twenties. It remains to be seen whether he will be able to weather the daily “yellow vest” protests, which were triggered by a new fuel tax and have festered due to anger over a combination of low wages, high taxes and high unemployment that have left many people in the country struggling financially. Clad in their emblematic luminous yellow safety jackets, protesters have set fire to cars, burned barricades, and smashed windows in pockets of violence across Paris and beyond. After weeks of largely ignoring the protests, Macron finally addressed France on December 10. In a short speech, Macron declared that he would increase France’s minimum wage and slash overtime and some pension taxes. He also scrubbed the new carbon tax. It remains to be seen whether France will give their young leader a second chance.

ISRAEL // As the longest-serving prime minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu may be Teflon. But whether he can weather the latest corruption storm remains to be seen. In June, his wife, Sara, was indicted on charges that she allegedly used state money to pay for $100,000 worth of meals at the prime minister’s residence. That case is known as the “Meals Ordering Affair.” Netanyahu himself is a person of interest in two corruption investigations, known as cases 1000 and 2000, and Israeli police recently recommended indicting him on charges of bribery and corruption in a third case. At a rally for Likud party members, Netanyahu quipped, “If there will be recommendations [to indict me] – so what? The vast majority of police recommendations end with nothing.” Despite being mired in multiple scandals, Netanyahu remains popular and, when early elections are held on April 9, the Likud – with Netanyahu at the helm – may win the most seats by far. Whether that is enough to evade the long and notso-steady hand of Israeli justice remains to be seen.


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ENGLAND //

SAUDI ARABIA //

GERMANY // As President Trump threatened to shake things up on the world stage, many turned to German Chancellor Angela Merkel as the “new leader of the West.” But throughout 2018, her CDU party suffered repeated losses, and on December 7, 2018, she stepped down as leader of the CDU party after 18 years as party chief. Although she will remain chancellor of Germany until the end of the parliamentary term in 2021, Merkel’s power on the geopolitical stage has been diminished.

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Since being selected in 2017, Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, age 33, has been hailed as the face of reform who would usher western values into the protective Islamic society of the Saudi Arabia and beyond. With his diversification of Saudi Arabia’s economy and close relationship with Jared Kushner and the Trump administration, MBS, as he is known, was quickly becoming a powerbroker in the Middle East and the world. Not only does he share America and Israel’s view on the dangers of Iran, but he also is the first to imply a changing attitude towards Israel in general. But one decision may cost him a seat on the world stage. On October 2, a Saudi Arabian death squad of 15 assassins killed well-known journalist and critic of the Saudi government Jamal Khashoggi while he was in Saudi Arabia’s consulate in Istanbul, Turkey. Although it can’t be said in this case that the cover-up was worse than the crime – chopping up an individual and making a body disappear in the Saudi Arabian consulate is pretty gruesome – the cover-up was messy as well. A few days after the murder, MBS denied the killing, telling Bloomberg that Khashoggi left after “a few minutes or one hour” after entering the consulate. After dancing around the issue in the face of mounting evidence, Saudi Arabia finally admitted that Khashoggi was killed in their consulate in Istanbul after a fight broke out with the people he met there. By October 24, MBS had called Khashoggi’s killing a “heinous crime that cannot be justified,” and in November Saudi Arabia’s public prosecutor announced that five of those involved in the murder will face the death penalty. Although it is obvious that responsibility lies with MBS, and the U.S. Senate has even passed a resolution condemning him, he continues to deny personal involvement. Perhaps he can join OJ in the search for the real killers.

JANUARY 3, 2019

In July of 2016, Theresa May became Britain’s prime minister after the UK voted in favor of leaving the European Union in a vote known as “Brexit.” With Britain nearly evenly split on Brexit, Prime Minister May’s main task as leader is negotiating her country’s exit from the EU by March 29, 2019. The European Union is not doing her any favors: England’s economy is deeply intertwined with the EU, and the EU leadership in Brussels has put forth terms that would require England to continue to be bound by rules on taxation, competition policy, environmental policy, etc. Brexit supporters see May as weak, and, although she survived a no-confidence vote in early December, she remains very much against the ropes.


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WINNERS by the NUMBERS // 2018 Year in Review

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30,000 Number of Big Macs that Don Gorske, 64, of Wisconsin – who runs marathons and boasts of low cholesterol and perfect blood pressure – ate as of May 4 of this year, after having gone only 8 days over the past four decades without having eaten a Big Mac.

The amount of watermelons that A shr it a F u r ma n sliced on his own stomach in one minute on July 12th, earning him a new Guinness Book of World Records title for, well, amount of watermelons sliced on one’s own stomach in a minute. He broke the record by six watermelons, which is real surprising…because it means that there’s someone else out there who is also really bored.

$400,000 The amount that Victor Amole won on February 3 when he purchased four tickets to Virginia Lottery’s Cash 5 game, all with the same numbers, winning $100,000 for each ticket - after he saw the winning numbers in a dream - he claims.

Amount won on October 25 in South Carolina by for the largest ever lotto. The winner has yet to come forward.

$1,537,000,000


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Number of medals, 14 of which were gold, that Norway won in the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang, South Korea, dominating the other 92 countries, including the U.S. which finished fourth in the medal count with 23, nine of which were gold.

Amount of hot dogs Joey Chestnut chomped down in 10 minutes winning his 11th Nathan’s Fourth of July Hot Dog-Eating Contest on Coney Island.

Score of the World Cup final between France and Croatia on July 16, earning France its second World Cup title.

4-2 Days it took Ross Edgley, 33, to complete his record-making 1,791-mile swim around Britain. Along the way he sustained 37 jellyfish stings. He consumed between 10,0 0 0 a n d 15,000 calor ies each day to f uel his daily 12 hours of swimming.

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Amount of time that it took Boston University student Zach Prescott to run a mile while juggling a trio of lacrosse balls on May 23, setting a new world record for that “sport,” I guess.

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4 minutes and 43.2 seconds


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all GOOD THINGS must come to an END //

2018 Year in Review

CLOSED // Toys ‘R’ Us 142 Sears Stores Another casualty of declining brick and mortar stores, the once-dominant retail chain that changed how Americans shopped and lived filed for bankruptcy in October. The 132-year-old company, which was the first “everything store” stocking everything from jewelry to clothing, from hardware to prefabricated homes, has been in steady decline over the past decade. In 2009, there were 3,921 Sears stores; now there are approximately only 700 left. Experts put the chances of Sears surviving at slim-to-none. Aside for grappling with a pension of roughly 100,000 retirees that is underfunded by at least $1.5 billion, the money generated at the stores is insufficient to pay the company’s bills. Some vendors, like Whirlpool, stopped supplying to Sears altogether. To-date, Sears has spun out 250 of its best properties into real estate investment trust offshoots known as Seritage. If Sears’ recent history is an indication, it’s “Searsyonara” to Sears.

This closing strikes close to the heart of anyone who ever sang the “I don’t want to grow up. I’m a Toys ‘R’ Us kid” jingle. In the age of Amazon, e-commerce and facing competition from Walmart and Target, the toy store buckled under its debt and filed for bankruptcy in September, closing 744 stores in the U.S. The store may be gone, but the jingle – and Geoffrey –will live in our hearts.

Brookstone Next time you are in a mall and feel like you need to sit down for a quick massage, you won’t have the Brookstone store to head to. The store of quirky gadgets filed for bankruptcy in August and is closing all 102 of its mall stores. Brookstone will still keep its 35 airport locations open. So, if you have a sudden need to purchase Golf Ball Finding Glasses that can morph into a pocket drone, you will just have to go to the airport. Once you’re there, enjoy the massage chair!

600 Mattress Firm Stores After restructuring its debt in bankruptcy proceedings in October, Mattress Firm closed 600 stores. Although that sounds like a lot of stores, they still have 2,600 open Mattress Firm stores across the U.S. And, for today only, they are running an 11-hour mattress sale… Hurry! This sale ends fast.


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DIED //

SEN. JOHN MCCAIN // August 25, age 81, Vietnam War hero and U.S. Senator for Arizona

BARBARA BUSH //

PRESIDENT GEORGE H. W. BUSH //

April 17, age 92, wife of President George H.W. Bush; mother of President George W. Bush

November 30, age 94, 41st President of the United States

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.” “You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House, but on what happens inside your house.”

“Read my lips: no new taxes.” “I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.” “Never ask anyone over 70 how they feel. They’ll tell you.”

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER // June 21, age 68, Pulitzer Prize winning conservative author and columnist

ANTHONY BOURDAIN // June 8, age 61, celebrity chef and host of iconic food and travel show, “Parts Unknown”

“Israel is the very embodiment of Jewish continuity: It is the only nation on earth that inhabits the same land, bears the same name, speaks the same language and worships the same G-d that it did 3,000 years ago.”

“I leave this life with no regrets. It was a wonderful life – full and complete with the great loves and great endeavors that make it worth living. I am sad to leave, but I leave with the knowledge that I lived the life that I intended.” – The ending of his parting article

“The way you make an omelet reveals your character.” “When dealing with complex transportation issues, the best thing to do is pull up with a cold beer and let somebody else figure it out.” “I learned a long time ago that trying to micromanage the perfect vacation is always a disaster. That leads to terrible times.”

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“You’re betraying your whole life if you don’t say what you think – and you don’t say it honestly and bluntly.” “You’ve got to learn the texts, you have to know Talmud, you have to be able to read Rashi, you have to know what’s there.”

JANUARY 3, 2019

“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”

“If only we remember that and give each other the benefit of the presumption that we all love our country, we’ll get through these challenging times. We will come through them stronger than before. We always do. Ten years ago, I had the privilege to concede defeat in the election for president. I want to end my farewell to you with heartfelt faith in Americans that I felt so powerfully that evening. I feel it powerfully still. Do not despair of our present difficulties, we believe always in the promise and greatness of America because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit, we never surrender, we never hide from history, we make history. Farewell fellow Americans. G-d bless you, and G-d bless America.” – Ending of his final statement

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RIP


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TRUMP’S REVOLVING CABINET DOORS // DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL SECURITY ECONOMIC COUNCIL

OUT

Larry Kudlow A Reagan Administration veteran and an advocate of supply-side economics and deregulation, Kudlow built a cult following as a TV economic commentator and host. Although he differs with Trump on tariffs (in a tweet before joining the administration he declared “Trump’s steel tariffs are a ‘crisis of logic’ – and the equivalent of a tax hike”), he is bullish on Trump and the U.S. economy. “Right now, the U.S. is carrying the ball. I don’t see an end to it. With all due respect, I don’t think this is anything resembling a sugar high. President Trump has changed the incentives in the economy. The war on business is over,” he recently declared.

Gary Cohen A former Democrat, he was a free trade advocate in an America First administration. Cohen resigned on March 6 after President Trump announced steel and aluminum tariffs that he opposed.

SECRETARY OF STATE

OUT

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2018 Year in Review

Rex Tillerson Trump and his outsider-pick for secretary of state, former Exxon-Mobile CEO Tillerson, butted heads from the start of the administration, resulting in Trump giving Rex the ax on March 13. The feud continues with Tillerson recently dishing that Trump is “pretty undisciplined, doesn’t like to read, doesn’t read briefing reports, doesn’t like to get into the details of a lot of things, but rather just kind of says, ‘This is what I believe.’” Trump tweeted in response that Tillerson was “dumb as a rock, and I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. He was lazy as [anything].” Sharpen those knives.

NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR H.R. McMaster Although McMaster looked the part and had a storied career as a highly decorated military official, he was seen as a “deep stater” within the Trump administration. Many, including Breitbart News and Carolyn Glick of the Jerusalem Post, accused him of harboring anti-Israel sentiments and believed that he worked to get rid of pro-Israel personnel on the National Security Council. On March 22, McMaster was asked to resign his post.

OUT

John Bolton The mustached Bolton, who served as George W. Bush’s UN ambassador, is fiercely pro-Israel and is known as a hawk. Moments after being picked as the new national security advisor, he noted, “If you want peace, prepare for war.” While in Israel, shortly after taking his post, Bolton declared, “We’ve got great challenges for Israel, for the United States, and for the whole world. The Iranian nuclear weapons and ballistic missile programs are right at the top of the list.”

Mike Pompeo When he was transferred by the president from leading the CIA to head the State Department, Pompeo became the first person to have served as both CIA director and secretary of state. Pompeo, who graduated first in his class at West Point Military Academy, hit the ground running as secretary of state and has quickly become a Trump fave, leading the initiative to change the status quo with North Korea. He is a fierce defender of the president and has crisscrossed the globe visiting hotspots from Pyongyang to Saudi Arabia and beyond.


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William Barr Trump initially replaced Sessions with acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker, whose appointment caused many on the left to have conniptions because of his vocal and unabashed critique of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation. Last week, Trump nominated William Barr, who previously served as attorney general from 1991 to 1993 under President George H.W. Bush, to be the next attorney general. Barr, who is a hard-liner on immigration, is seen as a good choice to take over for Jeff Sessions who, despite his ineptitude when it came to the Mueller investigation, was also strong on immigration.

OUT

Nikki Haley The former governor of South Carolina was the perfect Trump voice in the United Nations. For two years she called out the hypocrisy and folly of the nations of the world who gather and scheme against Israel and the U.S. On October 9, Haley announced that she would leave her post at year’s end. Sitting alongside the president while announcing her resignation, Haley sang the praises of the Trump White House, especially Jared Kushner, whom she called “such a hidden genius that no one understands.” Trump joined in the choir and sang Haley’s praises and predicted that she would at some point return to his administration in some capacity. In the meantime, he predicted, she’s “going to make a lot of money.”

OUT

Robert Wilkie Wilkie, who was plucked from the Pentagon where he served as Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness, was Trump’s second choice for the position. His first choice was the presidential doctor, Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson. But Dr. Jackson’s nomination was hampered by a flurry of allegations about Jackson’s professional conduct. Although he vehemently denied the allegations and said, “If they had any merit, I would not have been selected, promoted and entrusted to serve in such a sensitive and important role as physician to three presidents over the past 12 years,” Jackson withdrew his nomination. Wilkie was chosen instead.

Heather Nauert Nauert is new to government service and foreign policy after a career as a commentator at Fox News, but she has performed well in her current role as State Department spokeswoman.

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U.N. AMBASSADOR

David Shulkin As the only holdover from the Obama administration to serve in President Donald Trump’s Cabinet, Shulkin fell out of grace when a damning governmental oversight report criticized him for wasteful and unethical actions during a 10-day official Veterans Affairs department trip overseas. During a Congressional hearing, Shulkin admitted that he wrongly accepted Wimbledon tickets and airfare for his wife and acknowledged that the “optics of this are not good.” On March 28 he was shown the door.

JANUARY 3, 2019

Jeff Sessions It can be argued that nobody has done more harm to the Trump administration than Jeff Sessions. Although he was an early backer of then-candidate Trump and was awarded with the prestigious position as head of the Department of Justice, he quickly stepped in “it” and recused himself from anything to do with the “Russia investigation.” That decision ultimately paved the way for the appointment of Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller. Trump never forgave Sessions for that and couldn’t get rid of him soon enough – on the morning of November 8, the day after the midterm elections.

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all GOOD THINGS must come to an END //

CHIEF OF STAFF

OUT

John Kelly On December 8, it was announced that Chief of Staff John Kelly will be leaving his post at the end of 2018. Kelly, who is a retired general, is credited with bringing order to the West Wing after he took over for the inexperienced Reince Priebus. But according to reports, though, Kelly fell out of the president’s good graces over the last several months.

2018 Year in Review

INTERIOR SECRETARY

DEFENSE SECRETARY

Ryan Zinke Zinke faced multiple inquiries by his department’s inspector general and congressional investigators since he took office, including into his travel and whether he was improperly involved in a real estate development in his hometown. After top House Democrat Rep. Raul Grijalva called for Zinke’s resignation in November, Zinke responded, “It’s hard for him to think straight from the bottom of the bottle. This is coming from a man who used nearly $50,000 in tax dollars as hush money to cover up his drunken and hostile behavior.” On December 15, it was announced that he will leave his post at year’s end.

James Mattis Just days before the sun set on 2018, Defense Secretary James Mattis handed in his resignation letter to President Trump – perhaps as a twisted holiday present? Mattis handed the commander-in-chief a two-page letter on Thursday, December 20. “Because you have the right to have a Secretary of Defense whose views are better aligned with yours on these and other subjects, I believe it is right for me to step down from my position,” Mattis wrote. Ouch. A much-decorated military general, Mattis had been part of a group within the Trump administration who viewed their roles in the administration as a duty to the country.

OUT

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Business

Smarts

Is Amazon Good or Evil? By Chaim Homnick

I

n the aftermath of the HQ2 sweepstakes, Amazon seems to be going through a similar identity crisis that companies like Uber, Facebook and Google have endured in recent times. The more prosperous and high-profile a company gets, the more detractors it inevitably accrues. With Black Friday in the rearview mirror and the peak holiday shopping season upon us, hot takes about Amazon are as prevalent as deals on Kindle tablets. Here in New York, protestors recently took to the streets over the issue of Amazon selecting New York as the location for half of its new headquarters. Many of America’s largest corporations struggle to straddle the fine line between maximizing profits for investors while trying to remain ethical. Some are more successful, while others see their reputation tarnished by consistent issues or gaffes. Uber’s CEO is hardly the first to desire profits over ethics, but he may have been among the most open about it as under his watch Uber engaged in corporate espionage and other unsavory business practices that made their competition look saintly by comparison. Meanwhile, Google’s slogan famously is “Do no evil” but Google has not been exempt from public condemnation lately over privacy and point-of-view discrimination concerns. Recently, Amazon and Jeff Bezos have endured criticism from Trump

on one side of the aisle and from leftist pundits on the other side. While that is the inevitable cost of success, it leads to an important conundrum for consumers who consider themselves socially-minded: is Amazon good or evil? And should that affect our shopping decisions either way?

THE CASE AGAINST AMAZON Amazon’s critics proffer a few key arguments in support of their anti-Amazon rhetoric. Some of the contentions are baseless but others have merit. From a political perspective, as democratic socialism has become popular, companies like Amazon have been decried by Bernie Sanders’ Democrats as greedy capitalist pigs, the epitome of “the 1%.” Jeff Bezos being the world’s richest man? Clearly evil. However, that is a partisan argument and one that many people disagree with. Amazon has over 100 million Prime subscribers shelling out $119 annually and spending an average of $200 per month on their site – and those aren’t all conservatives.

Working Conditions Amazon recently announced it would offer a minimum wage of $15 per hour to all employees. This came in the aftermath of numerous reports denouncing Amazon’s working conditions and strict employee

metric goals that led to workers going to the bathroom in water bottles to not slow down their fulfillment numbers. However, Amazon didn’t just make this move for PR reasons; its fulfillment centers have already been trending towards increased automation and Amazon needed to pay more to improve employee retention and hire enough seasonal workers in a tight job market. Critics therefore allege that this decision was more about PR and business strategy than a sudden ethical desire to treat employees better.

Putting Competitors out of Business Amazon doesn’t just beat out other companies with their price points and convenience, Amazon also controls the market for certain products. Because Amazon is the first stop for many consumers, Amazon can make everything from diapers to batteries and undercut the prices of the third-party sellers on Amazon. So Amazon isn’t just hurting traditional retailers, they also undercut many of the sellers who utilize and depend upon their platform. Plus, Amazon isn’t just a shopping platform, or a tech company, or a media company; it is all of the above and more so it affects myriad sectors and markets.

Privacy Concerns This category is one that affects

almost all tech companies. However, Amazon may be unique in the variety of industries it dominates in. Amazon Web Services is the top cloud provider, beating out Apple and Google easily. Amazon is on track to surpass Walmart as the top clothing retailer. Amazon spent $5 billion on content last year and will soon be outspending Netflix on original content. Plus, Alexa devices are becoming increasingly ubiquitous. Having one company who knows what you shop for, watch, read, and even say inside your own house can make some consumers uneasy.

Tax-Dodging Another common criticism of Amazon is that they do not pay their fair share of taxes. These attacks seem to come from both sides of the political aisle, and the accusation isn’t unwarranted. From 2008 to 2017, Walmart paid $64 billion in income tax while Amazon paid a mere $1.4 billion. There are a few strategies that Amazon has employed to minimize their tax burden. Firstly, sales tax regulations didn’t adapt fast enough to account for the internet so companies were only charged sales tax in a state if they had a physical presence in the state. Therefore, Amazon shipped products from warehouses in states with small populations and managed to spare consumers sales tax on Amazon purchases for years


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Fans of capitalism point to Amazon as a sterling example of the power of the free market. An online bookstore becoming a massive employer, a tech giant and a retail platform for millions of third-party sellers is a sterling example of capitalism spawning innovation and enriching our lives. Amazon supporters believe Bezos has earned every dollar of his massive net worth, and point to the many positive attributes of Amazon as an American success story.

Job Opportunities

Expanded Marketplace Massive retail chains like Walmart have been crushing mom and pop operations for years. Ironically, Amazon’s platform has led to a resurgence in third-party selling. A small clothing company or a regional specialty company can’t get their products into Walmart, but they can utilize Amazon as a way to acquire

Having one company who knows what you shop for, watch, read, and even say inside your own house can make some consumers uneasy.

nies to generate sales and compete with big-box retailers.

Convenience Amazon saves consumers time and effort. Convenience has a value, as Amazon’s many satisfied Prime customers can attest to. Amazon’s one-click shopping, Dash buttons and Prime Now have attempted to make the shopping experience as simple as possible. They’ve placed millions of products at our fingertips and maximized efficiency to maximize convenience. The more efficient we are, the more time we have for work or leisure.

they don’t run 100% of any one industry. Instead, they are a power player in a variety of industries, all of which leads to better results for consumers.

U

ltimately, Amazon is a lot like us as a society. It aspires to be good but is flawed and occasionally falls short of expectations. While Amazon’s

influence and power have grown exponentially since its origins as an online bookseller, its benefits to society have multiplied as well. Yes, Amazon tries to minimize their tax bill and wring every ounce of efficiency out of its employees, but it is responsive to social pressure and is also a major catalyst for innovation that improves the world for all of us. So next time you pre-order a novel through Alexa or hit your Tide Pods Dash Button to reorder, you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

Chaim Homnick is the owner of Kids Kamps LLC and the owner of Five Towns Tutoring. Chaim is also the College Advisor at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov of Lawrence and teaches 4 periods of Honors/AP English Literature. He has a Masters Degree in Business Administration and a Masters Degree in Educational Leadership and Administration. For questions or comments, he can be reached directly at KidsKampsLLC@ gmail.com.

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Innovation Amazon is a major innovator in so many categories. Technological advancement is a net positive for society, and Amazon has been a major player in the tech arena. Amazon has made very few missteps in the last two decades, and the companies they launch or acquire seem to churn out new inventions, systems and products constantly.

Healthy Competition While it may seem like Amazon is taking over every industry, that also means it provides competition to companies that might otherwise dominate unopposed. Every time another media company or phone provider merger occurs, competition in America decreases. And healthy competition is the backbone of innovation and affordability. Each time Amazon elbows its way into another industry, it causes the quality of the industry to increase while the

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Massive tech companies have a substantial financial footprint. Amazon employs over 600,000 people and provides job or sales opportunities to thousands more. When combined with Amazon’s recent commitment to pay a minimum wage of $15 per hour, Amazon provides employment to both techies and warehouse workers alike.

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THE CASE FOR AMAZON

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until states implemented new laws – and even then, Amazon negotiated with states to delay or defer those sales tax collections. Secondly, Amazon has shown minimal profits for years, which meant less profits for shareholders but a faster growth trajectory as they gained market share and overall dominance. Many retailers paid an effective income tax of 30-40% while Amazon has been essentially paying about 11%. Lastly, Amazon’s HQ2 sweepstakes leveraged their new headquarters to solicit bids from different cities promising all sorts of tax benefits and perks. But then Amazon settled on New York and D.C., likely their original targets, but with significant tax savings and concessions in hand.


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Forgotten Her es

George H. W. Bush in the Navy By Avi Heiligman

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ne of the duties of the president is as the commander-in-chief of all armed forces. Although it’s not mandatory to have army experience, thirty-two of the forty-five presidents had prior service records in the military. Some presidents did more in the military than just wear a uniform. It helps a presidential contender if the candidate has a military career, as that makes him a hero in the eyes of Americans. The recent passing of George H. W. Bush brought forth the story of his World War II service in which he narrowly escaped being captured and executed by the Japanese to the headlines once again. George Herbert Walker Bush was born in 1924 in Milton, Massachusetts. When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941, the 17-year-old was just a senior in high school. Bush said later of his thoughts about America being attacked, “After Pearl Harbor, it was a different world altogether. It was a red, white, and blue thing. Your country’s attacked; you’d better get in there and try to help.” Upon his graduation and 18 th birthday, Bush enlisted in the U.S. Navy and began flight training. The course took place in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and Bush completed the training in ten months.

Commissioned days before his 19th birthday, Ensign Bush was one of the youngest naval aviators to earn his wings. His first assignment was as a photographic officer for Torpedo Squadron 51. In the spring of 1944, Air Group 51 was stationed on the light carrier USS San Jacinto (CVL-30) with Bush as the pilot of a Grumman TBF Avenger torpedo bomber. The carrier participated in air actions over Mar-

Bronson but the plane sank. Six days later Bush, along with another pilot, was credited for sinking a small Japanese vessel. On September 2, Bush, who had been promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade, Bush took off from the USS San Jacinto in an Avenger with Radioman Second Class John Delaney and Lieutenant Junior Grade William G. White. His section of four torpedo bombers was to strike

“It was a red, white, and blue thing. Your country’s attacked; you’d better get in there and try to help.”

cus, Wake and the Mariana Islands. The Battle of the Philippine Sea on June 19, 1944 saw the destruction of three Japanese carriers and over 550 planes with their irreplaceable pilots. Hailed as the Marianas Turkey Shoot, it proved to be too much for the Japanese airplanes. Over 100 American planes were lost, including that of Ensign Bush. He was forced to make a water landing. The entire crew was saved by the destroyer USS

a radio station on Chichijima in the Bonin Islands (Iwo Jima was a neighboring Island). On the bombing run they were hit by intense anti-aircraft fire but Bush continued to press the attack. After releasing the bombs and scoring hits on the targets, he realized that he wouldn’t be able to make it back to the carrier. The engine was on fire with smoke filling the cockpit. Bush flew as far away from the island as he could be-

fore parachuting out of the doomed plane. On the way out, he hit his head and was bleeding when he reached the water. His fellow crewmembers perished during the landing but Bush was spared the fate of many downed flyboys (the nickname given to pilots flying off of carriers). That day, eight other flyboys were captured by the Japanese near the island and were executed. Bush was fortunate and was able to stay afloat in the water in an inflatable life raft. Four hours later, he was rescued by the submarine USS Finback who was on “lifeguard” duty. For the next month the future president remained on the Finback helping to rescue other downed pilots. In November he returned to the USS San Jacinto to participate in the actions in the Philippines. Soon the squadron was replaced and was sent back to the United States. Bush flew 58 missions and was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and three Air Medals for his heroism. For the rest of the war he was a trainer for new torpedo bomber pilots and later was assigned to a new torpedo squadron VT-153. During this time he married future first lady Barbara Pierce Bush. One month after the Japanese surrendered, Bush, along with much of the military, was honorably discharged.


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Less than a year later, his eldest child and future president, George W. Bush, was born. Most of the presidents who served in uniform had to make critical military decisions as presi-

dent. Being the commander-in-chief meant a great deal to those who knew what it meant to serve on the frontlines. President George H. W. Bush exemplified this trait as he was the president during the inva-

The future president being rescued by the USS Finback

sion of Panama and Desert Storm. USS George H. W. Bush (CVN-77), an aircraft carrier named in 2009, is a fitting tribute for a former commander-in-chief who started his career on an aircraft carrier.

2/3/19

to The Jewish Home. He welcomes your comments and suggestions for future columns and can be reached at aviheiligman@gmail.com.

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2/3/19

Avi Heiligman is a weekly contributor

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George H. W. Bush sitting in the cockpit of his Avenger torpedo bomber


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Health & F tness

Your Guide to Healthy Shabbos Eating: Dips By Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN

S

erving dips at the Shabbos table have become a trend in the past few years. If you walk into your local supermarket or grocery store, you will find an entire aisle of just dips. Many supermarkets have started their own brand of dips and create new and unique dips on a weekly basis. Sure, it’s exciting to always try new dips, and it’s definitely a great idea on the business side of stores, but for the consumer and the health-conscious eater, dips are dangerous. The problem with dips is that they are not eaten alone. Generally, you don’t just take a bite of a dip on a spoon. If you do, we have other things to talk about. Dips are usually consumed with a thick piece of challah. And another one. And another one. And another one. If you have to try every dip, you’ll need at least five pieces of challah. Then you go back and have seconds on your favorite ones. This portion of the meal can alone contain 900 calories (assuming you limit yourself to five slices of challah and a tablespoon of five different dips). It can definitely add up to a lot more. And the worst part is that it has absolutely no nutritional value. On the bright side, there are some dips that are better – meaning, less fattening – than others. And if eaten in appropriate portions, and with the right challah/bread (as discussed in the last issue), dips do not have to be completely eliminated from your meal. One of the healthiest dips out there is hummus. Hummus is a nutrient-dense food made from a blend of

chickpeas, olive oil, tahini, lemon juice and spices. It offers calcium, magnesium, folate, and other vitamins and minerals. This blend of nutrients can also stabilize blood sugar and help prevent heart disease, says Los Angeles-based registered dietitian Lindsey Pine. Hummus also contains what she calls the “trifecta of macronutrients” – healthy fat, protein and fiber – that keep you full and satisfied, which is key to maintaining a healthy weight and managing diabetes. Just like beans, lentils, peas and other legumes, chickpeas are a good source of protein and fiber compared to other plants. A two-tablespoon serving of hummus contains two grams of protein and one gram of fiber. This is great for a snack, but not enough for a full meal and definitely not enough for a whole day. So don’t rely on hummus alone as your protein source. The daily recommendation is about 50 grams of protein per day for an average adult. Furthermore, chickpeas are not a complete source of protein, meaning they don’t have all of the essential amino acids that meat, fish, dairy and eggs do. You can make your own hummus at home for optimum health. Another healthier choice in terms of dips is tehina. Tehina is a paste made from roasted sesame. Obviously, if you’re allergic to sesame, stay away from tehina (and possibly hummus as well). Tehina is a good source of protein as well, however, it’s not so low in calories. One tablespoon of tehina contains approximately 90 calories. The fat found in tehina, though, is mostly mono-unsaturated fat, which is considered

to be heart healthy. Additionally, tehina is a good source of calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, and iron. Sesame seeds also contain more phytosterols than all other nuts and seeds. These are important for their cholesterol-lowering and cancer-blocking effects. There are many other nutrients in sesame seeds, but it is difficult for the body to absorb them due to their hard outer layer. Consuming sesame seeds in tehina allows the body to absorb the nutrients they provide more efficiently. You can buy a bottle of tehina paste and follow the instructions on the back of the bottle to prepare your own tehina at home. Making your dips at home allows you to visualize what is actually inside them so that you’ll realize what you’re eating. Plus, you’re avoiding all the preservatives by making your own dips at home. They will definitely be much healthier, not to mention much cheaper. Hummus and tehina are both great dip options that have health benefits, however, keep in mind that the the serving size for these dips is 2 tablespoons. After you eat 2 tablespoons, stop. Ideally, skip the dips altogether, but if you feel that you absolutely need the dips, go with hummus or tehina and remember to limit the challah as well. Even better, skip the challah and use raw, crunchy vegetables to dip into the hummus and tehina at your Shabbos meal. Stay far away from any dip based in mayonnaise. Spinach dip, mushroom dip, dill dip, olive dip, pickle dip, onion dip, jalapeno dip, garlic dip, and baba-

ganoush are all mayonnaise with a little bit of flavor. Don’t even buy them. Other versions of dips that are healthier are roasted peppers or roasted eggplant. Roast red peppers or eggplant with onions, oil, salt, and pepper. You can even add a pinch of sugar and lemon juice. Once they’re roasted, puree the vegetables to a creamy consistency. Roasting whole cloves of garlic is also yummy and has great health benefits. If you’re more adventurous, make your own matbucha. Tomato dip is another easy and healthy dip. If preparing dips at home is not an option for you, then you can buy roasted peppers, roasted eggplants, Turkish salad, tomato dip, or matbucha to serve at your Shabbos meal. In summary, skipping the dips course altogether is ideal. Serve salads and/or fish instead. If dips are something you can’t go without, make your dips at home. The top healthy choices are hummus, tehina, roasted eggplant, roasted pepper, tomato dip, or matbucha. It might be hard work, but it will be better for your health and will definitely impress your guests!

Cindy Weinberger MS, RD, CDN, is a Master’s level Registered Dietitian and Certified Dietitian-Nutritionist. She graduated CUNY Brooklyn College receiving a Bachelor’s in Science and Master’s degree in Nutrition and Food Sciences. She is currently a dietitian at Boro Park Center and a private nutrition consultant. She can be reached at CindyWeinberger1@gmail.com.


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MEAT & POULTRY

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Items sold in the following Departments: Fresh Meat, Fresh Fish, Bakery, Deli, Dairy, Appetizing & Hot Food, are Approved by the Vaad Hakashrus Of Baltimore when so stated on Sign or Label. For More Information on the Kosher Status of any product call The Star-K Hotline: 410-484-4110 K

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Grocery Specials

PRICES EFFECTIVE SUN., JAN. 6 THRU FRI., JAN. 11, 2019

Cereals

JANUARY 3, 2019 THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

$

38 OZ. SQUEEZE BTL.

Heinz Ketchup

29.5–31 OZ. SQUEEZE BTL. •SIMPLY •NO SUGAR ADDED

Heinz Ketchip

20 OZ. CAN •SLICES •CHUNKS •TIDBITS •CRUSHED

Dole Pineapple

15–15.25 OZ. CAN ESSENTIAL EVERYDAY

2.69 $ 2.99 $ 3.19 $ 1.19 79¢ $ 1.09 2/$2 $ 2.39

$

11 OZ.

4-5 CT. BOX ASSORTED VARIETY

Grab 1 Nutrition Bars

Gefen Pearl Barley

16 OZ. BAG

Mishpacha Chulent Mix

6-4 OZ. CUPS •ORIGINAL •NATURAL

Gefen Apple Sauce

Gunter Honey

1 LB. BAG ASSORTED VARIETY (YOSHON)

Haddar Pasta

10 PACKETS - DAIRY, CHOLOV YISROEL THIS FLAVOR ONLY

KoSure Instant Hot Cocoa Mix

4.6 OZ. PKG.- SELECTED VARIETY EXCLUDES SPELT

Landau Rice or Corn Cakes

4.5–5 OZ. BOX •REGULAR •REDUCED SODIUM EXCLUDES GLUTEN FREE

Manischewitz Matzo Ball or Matzo Ball & Soup Mix

6 OZ. BAG •MINESTRONE •VEGETABLE •SPLIT PEA •SPLIT PEA WITH BARLEY

Manischewitz Dry Soup Mix

$

BLUEBERRY

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APPLE

1.79 $2.39 $1.59

ASSORTED VARIETIES

THESE FLAVORS ONLY

15 OZ. CAN •NUGGETS •WHOLE

Essential Everyday Pie Fillings 21 OZ. CAN CHERRY

Mishpacha Baby Corn

5 LB. BAG (YOSHON) - UNBLEACHED

Mishpacha High Gluten Flour

8 PACK 12 OZ. BOTTLES

12 PACK 12 OZ. CANS

3/ 11 2/ 9 $

Products (Regular or Diet)

$

DAIRY SPECIALS 8 OZ. BAR

Philadelphia Cream Cheese

1.99

$

2.69 $ 5.49 $ 3.99 2/$2 $ 3.59 $ 1.39 $1.69 5/$5 $ 1.19 $ 2.79

16 OZ. JAR •CLOVER •WILDFLOWER •GOLDEN •ORANGE BLOSSOM

Sweet Peas or Whole (REGULAR AND Kernel Corn NO SALT CORN)

16 OZ. BAG YOSHON

Non Foods

Fruity or Cocoa Pebbles

•RICE KRISPIES -12 OZ. •CRISPIX -12 OZ. •CORN FLAKES -12 OZ. •COCOA KRISPIES -15.5 OZ.

12 OZ. CUP

Tofutti Sour Cream

1.99

$

72 CT.

Menora 3 Hour Shabbos Candles

12–14 CT. BAG -SELECTED VARIETY EXCLUDES TORAH OODLES

Tovah Farms Broccoli Florets or Chopped Spinach 10–16 OZ. BAG -ASSORTED VARIETY

Dyna-Sea Seafood Delicacies

3.99 $4.99 $

3.59 $ 2.19 $ 2.29 59¢ 79¢ 59¢ $ 2.99 $

Paskesz Oodles

5.25 OZ. CUP (YOSHON)

Paskesz Fried Onions To Go

SELECTED FLAVORS AND COUNTS -EXCLUDES DUAL ACTION CHERRY DROPS

Ricola Throat Drops

1 OZ. •VEGE STRAWS •VEGE CHIPS •APPLE STRAWS WITH CINNAMON

Sensible Portions Snack Bags

2.29 OZ. CUP •REGULAR •LOW SODIUM ONLY

Tradition Chicken Soup

4 OZ. CAN STEMS & PIECES

Unger’s Mushrooms

20–25 CT. BOX -SELECTED VARIETY EXCLUDES GREEN TEAS

Wissotsky Tea

Pretzels

ASSORTED VARIETY - 14-16 OZ. BAG

2/$5

CLASSIC, CHERRY, SPRITE, FRESCA

Tea and Juice Drinks

ASSORTED VARIETIES REGULAR, DIET, CAFF. FREE & ZERO

3 $5

ASSORTED VARIETY

6

16 OZ. BTLS.

2 LTR. BTLS.

NEW

Gimmies Drink

& CREAM •MINT CHOCOLATE

6-1.5 OZ. TUBES. •CHERRY •ORANGE CREAM

Gimmies Tubes

4 OZ. CUP •COTTON CANDY •BIRTHDAY

Gimmies Cups

Of Tov Chicken Products Pepperidge Farm Sheets

•MIXED BERRY

CAKE •CHOCOLATE COOKIE •S’MORES •RAINBOW

32 OZ. BAG -ASSORTED VARIETY

2 CT./17 OZ. BOX

3.99

$

Chobani Items NEW

6-4 OZ. BTLS. •STRAWBERRY •COOKIE

FROZEN SPECIALS

24 OZ. BAG

1.19 $ 3.99 $

Menora Medium Havdala Candle

EXCLUDES SCHWARMA

4.79 $4. 29 $1. 19 $

10.99 $3.99

$


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Mental Health Corner

Body Dysmorphic Disorder By Rabbi Azriel Hauptman Rafi, age 15, has recently become obsessed with the appearance of his neck. It seems to him that the veins in his neck are overly visible and he obsesses over this for hours on end. In an attempt hide this flaw, he wears shirts with tall collars, tilts his head in such a way that his veins are less visible, and he applies substances to his neck that camouflage his veins. When he confides in others, they always fail to see any difference between his veins and those of other people, but Reuven is convinced that they are saying this just to make him feel better. Reuven has Body Dysmorphic disorder or BDD. BDD is a mental health disorder where a person has persistent and intrusive preoccupations with an imagined or grossly exaggerated flaw in his or her appearance. BDD has nothing to do with vanity! These are people

who have an irrational belief that their appearance is grotesque and they want nothing more than to look like everyone else. The disorder is that they really do look like everyone else but are convinced that their appearance is abnormal! Obviously, it is not uncommon for people to be unsatisfied with some aspect of their appearance, but for most people it does not significantly affect their ability to function whereas individuals with BDD have their lives overtaken by their obsessions. Here are some behaviors that you might see in someone with BDD: • Frequent mirror checking • Avoiding looking in the mirror • Changing clothing to mask the imagined flaw • Skin picking to “fix” the flaw • Excessive grooming • Constantly seeking reassur-

ance about their appearance • Seeking corrective surgery As you can see, BDD is very similar to OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). In both disorders, there is an obsessive and intrusive thought, and there is a compulsive act that one does in an attempt to minimize or eliminate the obsession. However, individuals with OCD often understand that their obsessions are irrational, but individuals with BDD usually are convinced that their fears are true. It is analogous to someone who is looking in a distorted mirror and is convinced that the mirror is flawless. The typical age of onset is during adolescence or early adulthood and affects males and females equally. The cause of BDD is unknown, and as with many other mental health disorders it is probably due to a combination of one’s genetic predisposition and the environment that one lives in.

BDD can be a risk factor for the development of other disorders, such as depression, suicidal thoughts, health problems (due to behaviors such as skin picking) and eating disorders. Treatment often involves therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Untreated BDD can be psychologically painful, but through treatment by a competent and experienced mental health clinician the symptoms can be brought under control. You do not need to live your life with such anguish and torment. This is a service of Relief Resources. Relief is an organization that provides mental health referrals, education, and support to the frum community. Rabbi Yisrael Slansky is director of the Baltimore branch of Relief. He can be contacted at 410-448-8356 or at yslansky@reliefhelp.org

MAZEL TOV! B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Births

• Kalman and Sophia Lejtman, Baby Girl • Mr. and Mrs. Yisrael Friedland, Baby Girl • Yaakov and Gitty Rosen, Baby Boy • Mr. Yaakov and Ester Gur, Baby Boy • Tikvah and Tzadik Womack, Baby Boy • Jonathan and Talia Rose, Baby Girl

Engagements

• Yaeli Korobkin and Elan Litenatsky • Shterna Sofer and Avi Frand • Stephanie Gold and Andy Botvinik • Leora Allen and Andrew Hyatt Submit your simcha announcement to Simchas@BaltimoreJewishHome.com


by Mrs. Elaine Bodenheimer

GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

For questions or comments about Gluten Free Baking please email GlutenFree@BaltimoreJewishHome.com

Butter Balls

JANUARY 3, 2019

Peanut

THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME

Gluten Free Recipe Column

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What You Will Need: 1 cup powdered sugar ½ cup creamy peanut butter 3 Tbl margarine, softened 8 oz. bittersweet chocolate- for melting 2 oz. white or blue chocolate- for drizzling

1. Mix together the first 3 ingredients, until thoroughly combined. Shape mixture into ž to 1 inch balls. Place on a baking sheet covered with waxed paper and let stand for at least 20 minutes until firm. 2. Melt chocolate in a glass bowl and drop balls into chocolate, 1 to 2 at a time. Using 2 forks, remove balls from chocolate and let excess drip off. Place balls back onto the waxed paper. Let dry. 3. In another clean bowl, melt another color of chocolate and drizzle over top of cooled and dry chocolate-covered balls. For people with peanut allergies, this recipe can be made successfully using sunflower butter.

B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M

Preperation:


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SOMETIMES THERE ARE

NO WOR By Yisroel Besser

“B

esser, I have a scoop for you.” The caller was a leading rosh yeshiva – not the type who shares scoops or calls writers. Rav Elya Brudny had been at a wedding, and the mesader kiddushin had been an out-of-town rosh yeshiva, a tall, distinguished looking man. He walked up to the chuppah, and took his place behind the microphone: when he said the brachos, it was immediately obvious that he had trouble articulating his words, and it seemed somewhat garbled. “But then I saw him by the dancing, leading a chasunah, his talmidim around him,” Rav Elya continued, “and I realized that he was getting through to his talmidim better than many of us.” It sounded dreamy — the plot of a kid’s book or maybe an Abie Rotenberg song — a sweet tale of a rosh yeshivah who doesn’t hear and his devoted talmidim. But this is the real world, where things aren’t so sweet and neatly packaged. And so I flew down to Toronto to see. You know how people say “no words”? Like, when they want to convey their astonishment speechlessness becomes a way of expressing an awe that words would only limit? In a humble trailer just west of Bathurst Street, I found a world where that awe never fades. No words.

B

ack when Brownsville was the place, when pushcart peddlers along Pitkin Avenue haggled with customers in Yiddish, the Brooklyn neighborhood had a real rebbe. The Brownsviller-Mezhibuzh Rebbe, Rav Shmuel Avrohom Rabinowitz, was a son of Rav Eliezer Chaim of Yampola, a grandson of the rebbe of Ropshitz. He was reputed to be a ba’al mofeis, a healer, a writer of kabbalistic amulets. His son, Rav Dovid Eliezer, was born in 1917 – deaf. Rebbes work with words: a child deprived of words, the building blocks of connection, the invisible ropes with which to draw others close, has no future working with people. He can be a craftsman, perhaps, or even a successful peddler, but not a rabbi. Right? No, not really. Rabbi Dovid Eliezer Rabinowitz would become an effective and respected shul rabbi, leading a community of deaf and hard-of-hearing Jews in Brooklyn: he taught many lessons, but perhaps the greatest lesson of all was about perseverance. His young grandson, Chaim Tzvi Kakon, was also born with hearing challenges – and with that very same determination. The Kakon family lived in Denver, and then in Detroit. The zaide, Rav Dovid Eliezer, moved away from Brooklyn twice, following his grandchildren so that he could be near them, part of their lives.

Many things were confusing to the child. Days were spent in public school, where he mastered sign language as part of his total communication education, while nights were filled with dreams of learning Torah. Tough as it was, he came home to his parents, to love and warmth and encouragement, each evening. But then he wanted to go to summer camp. Young Chaim Tzvi Kakon joined hundreds of other boys in the Mogen Av shul on the first day of camp as head counselors called out names, assigning a bunk to each camper – but he couldn’t hear. He sat on the bench with no clue where he belonged. In his seforim-lined study, the rosh yeshiva of Nefesh Dovid looks like he’s sharing a routine childhood memory, but when he reaches that recollection, the first day in camp, there is an unmistakable flash of pain. “It was very bewildering. I had no idea where to go, didn’t know who my counselor was or who was in my bunk.” On a bench near Chaim Tzvi on that summer day sat eleven-year-old Normie Lowenthal. Today, a respected social worker at Baltimore’s Talmudical Academy, Rabbi Lowenthal remembers the moment well. “It’s important to appreciate what Mogen Av was doing. Way before other camps followed suit, Camp Mogen Av was accepting boys with disabilities and special needs, mainstreaming them before it was even a term.” At camp the previous summer, young Normie had made friends with

a boy who did not hear: the boy taught Normie the basics of sign language as a means of communication. “So when I saw Chaim Tzvi looking bewildered and alone, I recognized that he had a hearing impairment, and I was confident that I could communicate with him. I introduced myself and we became friends.” That act of kindness welcomed Chaim Tzvi to the camp experience. The painful start gave way to a spectacular few weeks: while the boys around him were celebrating home runs, Chaim Tzvi was breaking his own barriers. A walk with a friend. A meal at which he’d been attuned enough to pass the milk to a bunkmate. The happy exhaustion at the end of a hike, flopping on the grass, feeling connected by a current of shared satisfaction with others.

T

he gifts he’d discovered in camp came in handy in school, and that summer reinforced his willpower to keep trying. The evening learning sessions allowed his dreams to expand, visions wide as the grassy lawns in camp: finally, at the age of sixteen, he articulated that secret hope. His father, Rav Yosef, is a talmid of Rav Moshe Schneider and Rav Aaron Kotler, an accomplished talmid chacham: all the teenager wanted was to go to a real yeshiva and learn Torah like his father. His parents were ready to let him try, but where would a bochur who couldn’t hear feel welcome?


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Rabbi Chaim Tzvi Kakon

says emphatically, “it was fine. I wanted to learn. I didn’t see the ages of the boys around me, didn’t let it affect my excitement at learning.” Rebbetzin Libbi Kakon, who has been listening to his account, interjects, “That’s so typical,” she says, “nothing bothers my husband.” “Not true,” he shoots back.

I

n Ner Israel, with the help of devoted friends, Chaim Tzvi became a yeshiva bochur: the deafness was no longer the story, because there was a Tosfos and a Rashba and a K’tzos to worry about. Those glorious years in Toronto came to an end when it became evident that Chaim Tzvi needed to move on. Toronto friends Dov and Nancy Friedberg sent him to join their sons, who were learning in Baltimore’s Ner Israel. And once again, he felt overwhelmed. “It was a much bigger yeshiva than Toronto, with so many new faces, so much going on.” He was sitting on a bench on that first night when a familiar face appeared in his line of vision. Just as he had a decade earlier, in Camp Mogen Av, Normie Lowenthal welcomed his friend to this dizzying new world. Rav Shragi Neuberger, the new talmid’s maggid shiur, remembers that first zman. “He couldn’t hear, but that was just a detail, it didn’t define him. What made him unique was his kishron, what made him unique was

his desire to learn, and what made him unique was his ability to understand other people.” The boy who couldn’t hear somehow heard the needs of everyone else, becoming a star. “He was popular, not because he was different, but because he has this special chein, the smile and warmth,” recalls a Ner Israel talmid. So popular, in fact, that the other bochurim voluntarily learned sign language so that they could communicate with him, be in his circle as well. Another of the heroes that would appear along the journey was Dr. Leonard Siger, a professor at Gallaudet University for deaf students. Dr. Siger had learned in yeshiva but then drifted away from Orthodox life. The brilliant professor knew sign language, and since retirement, he’d been interpreting Rabbi Yissocher Frand’s Thursday night shiur for others in the community. Someone suggested that Chaim Tzvi ask Dr. Siger to come to yeshiva to help him learn Torah. Chaim Tzvi summoned up the courage to approach this brilliant, irascible, ponytailed academic and ask. “Of course,” Dr. Siger answered. “I was waiting for you to ask.” The professor didn’t drive, so he would walk two hours each day to give over the shiur: it was he who opened the gates of real comprehension in learning to the determined talmid, exposing the full flavor and depth of the shiur. In time, Chaim Tzvi and the professor became chavrusos for the early morning daf yomi shiur as well.

They would review the shiur each evening. Soon enough, Dr. Siger shed the ponytail and became a complete ba’al teshuva: when he passed away two years ago, it was Rav Chaim Tzvi Kakon and his talmidim who came in from Toronto to perform the levaya and kevura, a final gesture of friendship from a grateful chavrusa.

E

ventually, it was time for the tall, handsome yeshiva bochur to find a shidduch. Libbi Spitzer did not hear well and, like him, was unconstrained by expectations and perceptions. Able to speak, she was a successful teacher at a school for special needs children at the time the shidduch was suggested. “My husband,” she says with a smile, “makes goals for himself and then ticks them off, one by one. He decided we were getting married, and I was just another box to check off.” (The rosh yeshiva is beaming as she says this, nodding as if he still can’t get over his good fortune.) Rebbetzin Kakon continues the story. “I was a Hungarian girl, I knew what I wanted. He told me he planned to become a lawyer, and he would buy me a house and a car.” The chasunah in the winter of 1989 was joyous – a popular chassan, a popular kallah, beloved families: but in the festive dancing, there was a sense that two worlds were merging, two young people burning with purpose coming together to create something new.

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A friend, Yossi Bienenstock, was learning in Toronto’s Ner Israel, and he suggested that Chaim Tzvi join him. Weak in learning, with no experience with serious yeshiva-style study, the bochur arrived for his bechina with little other than the fire in his eyes. The rosh yeshiva saw nothing else. “At the shiva for my rosh yeshiva, Rav Naftali Friedler, I learned what really happened that day,” says Rabbi Kakon. “I came and begged to be accepted, but I wasn’t on the level: when I left the office, some of the hanhala members expressed the opinion that, ‘he is really a nice boy, but…’ The rosh yeshiva banged on the table and said, ‘I’m not asking you. I’m telling you that we’re taking this bochur!’” (Years later, Rav Chaim Tzvi and Rebbetzin Libbi Kakon would be blessed with a son: the child would be named Naftoli, for the rosh yeshiva who’d welcomed his father to the halls of Torah.) In Ner Israel, Chaim Tzvi Kakon made two discoveries that would make a big difference to his future. “I learned that a yeshiva is a magical place; it’s not just about the learning and growth, but about being part of something, the friendships and connection.” And he learned that Toronto is a wonderful community. “I’d never been there before, but I felt at home.” In Ner Israel, the new bochur was placed in ninth grade, with boys several years his junior. “I didn’t care,” he

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Moshe, a talmid in the yeshiva, getting Gemara instruction from his rebbe

“I LEARNED THAT A YESHIVA IS A MAGICAL PLACE; IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT THE LEARNING AND GROWTH, BUT ABOUT BEING PART OF SOMETHING.”

T

hey also knew, this young couple, exactly what it was they wanted to do. Over the first few years of their marriage, Libbi continued teaching while Chaim Tzvi learned in kollel, eventually earning semicha: in the summers, they allowed their dreams to flourish. Chaim Tzvi’s rabbeim at Ner Israel allowed him space on the yeshiva’s campus to host a summer program called Gesher L’chaim, a sort of yeshiva camp for deaf boys. Reb Chaim Tzvi also used the time to earn a master’s in Social Work and he took a position as a therapist at a psychiatric inpatient unit, also sitting on the State of Maryland’s mental health board. And the zaide, who’d moved to Denver and then Detroit to mentor his

Yechiel, who is engaged to be married, returns for a visit to yeshiva

Yehuda, an Israeli talmid at Nefesh Dovid, in discussion with one of the Rebbeim, Rabbi D. Friedman

grandson, moved yet again: he and his rebbetzin moved to Baltimore, into the house across the street from the young Kakon family. Seven years of those summer programs created an informal chaburah, a wide group of hearing-challenged talmidim who felt close to this dynamic couple: in 2001, the yeshiva was founded in Toronto. Neither of them were locals, but the Canadian city had a certain appeal. “Rabbi Naftali Neuberger thought it was a good idea, and he always saw further than most people,” Rabbi Kakon recalls. “I had close friends there from my years in yeshiva, and my wife had family there, but it was my grandfather who really pushed us. The yeshiva was a realization of his dream – and he felt Toronto was the right place for it.” Rav Yaakov Moshe Kulefsky also encouraged the reluctant rebbetzin, assuring her it was the right path, and Rav Menachem Goldberger told them of the great things accomplished by those who find the strength to follow their destiny. With these brachos and words of chizuk, the young couple took their young children and their dreams and moved to Toronto. There, the rosh yeshiva worked with a passionate partner, Dr. Hartley Bressler, a prominent physician who has been deaf since birth; like Rabbi Kakon, he’s been proving people wrong since childhood. Dr. Bressler had previously invited Reb Chaim Tzvi to Toronto to join a Shabbaton for deaf participants. At the time, he introduced the Kakons to Mr. Joe Ber-

man, a local philanthropist who provided the seed money for the yeshiva’s establishment. Rabbi Kakon and Dr. Bressler, two people who never heard the pessimism, linked arms and established Yeshiva Nefesh Dovid. “The name is based on a pasuk in Tehillim, 56: ‘Ki hitzalta nafshi mimaves, You saved my soul from death, even my feet from stumbling to walk before Hashem in the light of life.’ “This is what a person with hearing loss feels,” the rosh yeshiva explains, “when he is alone, he is isolated, cut off from what’s going on around him. When a person doesn’t feel part of something larger, he doesn’t feel alive: so through the yeshiva and the network, a young man comes alive, experiencing the light of life.”

R

ather than try to describe what makes it special, the rosh yeshiva invites me to join him on a surprise visit to the yeshiva: it’s afternoon, general studies time. I already know not to expect a massive building – after all, these are the people of substance, not style, the ones who’ve transcended externals rather than getting trapped, but still… It’s a trailer, really, a small structure in a parking lot. “But look where we are, who our neighbor is,” the rosh yeshiva proudly indicates the impressive building next door. Yeshiva Gedola Zichron Shmayahu, the community’s flagship yeshiva, saw the opportunity early on. “We could never have opened our yeshiva if not for them,” Reb Chaim Tzvi says, “they made it possible.” Rav Chaim Mendel Brodsky, the

rosh yeshiva of Zichron Shmayahu, welcomed Nefesh Dovid to his grounds – opening up the dining room, gym, and beis medrash to its talmidim. “We eat with them, daven with them, and in general, their bochurim make sure to make our talmidim feel welcome,” says Rabbi Kakon. “They make it possible.” It doesn’t surprise me that the yeshiva in the trailer feels just like a real yeshiva: the jackets strewn over chairs, the smell of black binding tapes on Gemaros, the delighted laugh of the bochur who’d been swinging from a coatrack as the rosh yeshiva suddenly comes in. The rosh yeshiva introduces me to the secular studies teacher, an affable Ontarian who teaches math in sign language. “I’ve done this for years, but these are the first group of yeshiva boys,” he says. I ask him what sets them apart, and he doesn’t hesitate. “Their optimism: they want to do it all and believe that they can.” The bochurim themselves are a charming group, a young man from the hot, dusty streets of Bnei Brak – his father still learns in Ponevezh – and a Chabad chassid from Europe sit near me. (Although there are different forms of sign language in different countries, the rosh yeshiva and most talmidim are fluent in all of them and are able to easily communicate with each other.) Some of the boys can’t hear at all: many have cochlear implants and speak flawlessly – but they are all tuned in. The rosh yeshiva insists that I speak to the talmidim. A confident young man takes his place at my side


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One of the ingenious methods utilized by Rabbi Kakon to optimize the astonishing success in the Gemara skills of the talmidim

JANUARY 3, 2019

An elective photography course with teacher, Rick Barrow, who also cannot hear

A talmid of Nefesh Dovid davening in the Yeshiva Gedola of Toronto, where Nefesh Dovid is situated

home from Friday night prayers. He gazed at the candles that were so hard for me to light, gazed at our table that almost did not get set, gazed at our family that almost did not grow to be strong and capable. Then he turned around and left, slowly heading on to his own home

and his own table where his Rebbetzin waited, unbending and loyal. His children did not know until I told them. He is the unknown, the status of the true faithful. Is this what G-d does? Visit us week after week, moment after moment? Does he wait and watch and we

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“I

n chinuch, the most important thing is to be attuned, a rebbi has to hear a talmid, what he’s saying, what he’s not saying,” reflects

Rav Shragi Neuberger, the rosh yeshiva’s rebbi. “Rav Chaim Tzvi is unique in his koach hashmia, he picks up nuances. It’s a mix of really caring about talmidim and being very sharp. He’s a natural mechanech.” But talmidim agree that it’s the rebbetzin who gives the yeshiva its heart. Along with creating the home that’s as much a part of the yeshiva as the dormitory, she will often reassure worried mothers that their sons will flourish in the yeshiva. At the request of the yeshiva’s board of directors, she handles all the fundraising. “My husband is simply too busy with his boys, he wakes them up in the morning and is with them all day, Shabbos too. That’s his mission, and this mine,” she smiles. The Kakon family has embraced their role as well. “The bochurim come over Friday night after the seudah,” the rebbetzin says. Two of the Kakon daughters, who do not hear, married talmidim of their father’s yeshiva. The rebbetzin serves as a surrogate mother to many of the foreign bochurim and is a respected teacher in the local Bais Yaakov as well. She is also unafraid to be honest: it’s her willingness to share her own struggles that makes her call to be strong so much more effective. The Kakons have several children – two with hearing loss, some who hear perfectly. And then, just around the time Nefesh Dovid was born, they were blessed with a little baby girl, Devoiri. The rebbetzin’s face visibly lights up when she mentions the name. But, as she often concedes in her popular lectures, it wasn’t always easy. Devoiri was born with Down syndrome and was later diagnosed with autism as well. Those first few months were very difficult: there were older children; there was a yeshiva…and then Devoiri. In a written tribute to the family’s rav, Rav Menachem Adler, the rebbetzin – a gifted writer – recalls: I remember when we were poor and downtrodden. What to do? Where to go? The Rav turned his kind eyes to us and helped us rebuild. He believed in us. He believed in our children and he believed in our future when we could not see past the day. When our severely disabled daughter was born adding more weight to my heart, the elderly Rav shuffled his way down the street to our Shabbos table week after week, 52 consecutive weeks, on the way

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and interprets for those who need, moving his hands in concert with my words. I tell the boys that Rav Shlomo Freifeld, zt”l, would say that just as we believe that the match between man and woman is divine, the “shidduch” between rebbi and talmid is equally divine: it takes real siyata dishmaya for it to work. The boys smile and nod. Don’t they know it. After, they gather around the table and field my questions. I ask an Israeli bochur what it is they do differently in Nefesh Dovid, why he feels like his life started the day he arrived – his words – and he looks at the others, as if for encouragement. Finally, he tells me that as a child he spent many hours out of school, trapped in a world of his own: he passed the time by playing soccer and became quite good at it. He makes an imaginary kick right there, in the beis medrash. Rabbi Kakon found out about the soccer thing. He called different baale batim in Toronto and learned that there was a soccer league: not everyone was thrilled about admitting a fifteen-year-old boy, but, as the rebbetzin says, when the rosh yeshiva wants something… “That is different. No other rebbi ever thought to do that for me. I play soccer and it feel so good, it spills over into everything else,” the young man says. When Gemara is taught in yeshiva, I learn, the words are shown on the screen so the boys all see the daf. “And even while there’s debate whether it’s better or not to teach in sign language,” the rosh yeshiva says, “for Gemara it’s certainly better because it becomes visual, you see the concepts. The machlokes is set up on the screen, Abaye here, and Rava there. The talmidim follow along and really get it.” He shares a personal tidbit. Sometimes, the rosh yeshiva goes to a shiur, and his own friend and personal interpreter, Dr. Mitchell Sutton, comes along to translate what the maggid shiur is saying. “And inevitably, other people thank me after, telling me that the presence of the interpreter – the gestures and signs – made it easier for them to follow along too. It’s easier to absorb information when you see it.”

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Rabbi Chaim Tzvi Kakon with Rabbi Chaim Mendel Brodsky, rosh yeshiva of Yeshiva Gedolah of Toronto, which has welcomed Nefesh Dovid for so many years

“PEOPLE FROM OTHER YESHIVOS SEE OUR BOYS IN THE STREET OR AT WEDDINGS, AND THEY WONDER WHY THEY SEEM SO MUCH MORE ALIVE THAN BOYS WHO CAN HEAR PERFECTLY!” do not turn to see Him? In the early months of Devoiri’s life, the rebbetzin – undaunted for so long, rising above her own challenges to teach, marry, mother and build a yeshiva – felt like she would give up. “The rosh yeshiva reminded me, he encouraged me, he inspired me. He lifted me. And he waited for me,” she recalls. The rebbetzin mentions another of those figures, Divine messengers to offer encouragement or assistance at the right time. “My great-uncle, Rav Avrohom Chaim Spitzer, the old Vienner dayan, was a big part of our lives. I grew up revering him, we knew he was a tremendous talmid chacham, but he was so approachable, so easy to

connect with. After Devoiri was born, he sent me a message, along with the funds: I was to get more household help, he paskened. He became a big part of the yeshiva too, and many of my husband’s talmidim would go to him for brachos.” Family, faith, patience – and a sense of humor. One day during Devoiri’s first few months, Rav Chaim Tzvi welcomed a visitor to his home: Dr. Leonard Siger, his old chavrusa from Baltimore. The rosh yeshiva was holding the newborn infant when he opened the door, and he informed the guest that the baby was born with Down syndrome. “Okay,” the professor didn’t miss a beat as he looked at his old friend, “but you know that everyone has some sort of challenge in life, don’t you?” “It’s true at home and it’s true in yeshiva,” the rebbetzin remarks. “My husband teaches the boys to laugh, to accept themselves for who they are. Go live. There’s too much beauty and meaning to get stuck on the things that don’t work. People from other yeshivos see our boys in the street, or at weddings, and they wonder why they seem so much more alive than boys who can hear perfectly!” To live in the light of life… In her inimitable style, the rebbetzin writes: The boy, Shmili, who comes in sad. His eyes. I cannot look at his eyes. I see him Friday night. I say to him, something happened to you. You look different. One week you have been here. You look different. He smiles slightly. The first hint of a smile. He quips, I must have grown taller. Oh my. Don’t we have a sense of humor?

Rabbi Kakon learning with a talmid who is also his son-in-law

He did grow taller. Eitan. His eyes. Dark. They brighten noticeably week by week. Dark like a night sky, not the dark of tar on the ground. Kindness. Acceptance. Letting dreams free. Yisroel Avraham. I am not going to Toronto to a “DEAFO YESHIVA”! He yells. I am not DEAF – I am fine! Everyone can go fly a kite. His parents drag him to Toronto. I am not going home! I want to stay here at Nefesh Dovid. Forever. My husband drags him to the airport after reassuring him he will be back in two weeks to continue watering his dreams. He is coming back not to a deaf yeshiva, but a yeshiva for those with hearing loss. They all come back.

“S

o many of the lessons we preach, what we expect from our children, are relevant to all parents, not just in the special needs community,” the rebbetzin says. We are back at her home, where the dining room table is elegantly set. (Remember, I’m an old Williamsburg girl, she laughs, and she insists I accept a slice of cake.) “The rosh yeshiva always tells the boys that they’re not nebach cases, that rachmanus has its time and place.” There was a bochur who had trouble speaking clearly: years of hard work and therapy paid off, and he developed the ability to articulate himself. Not long after he received the gift, he spoke with chutzpah to his rebbi. “On one hand, it was a great simcha to hear him speak so fluently,” the

rosh yeshiva recalls, “but at the same time, I realized I would be doing him a disservice if I wouldn’t point out that he’d behaved improperly. ‘I’m so happy you speak so clearly,’ I told him, ‘but there are also expectations about what you can say and what you can’t say,’” he chided. I tell the rebbetzin that one of the boys in the yeshiva, learning that I worked for a magazine, urged me not to write about the yeshiva. “Then everyone will come, not just boys who can’t hear, and we don’t have room for all of them,” he said. The rosh yeshiva and rebbetzin laugh. The rosh yeshiva jokingly puts a finger to his lips, as if charging me to keep his secret. “Who doesn’t need someone to believe in them?” the rebbetzin asks. “So many boys come here dying inside and waiting for someone to tell them it’s okay; they can fly as high as they want to. That’s what we do. “Parents don’t mean to limit their children, they just worry too much about reputation, so they try to conform without giving the child enough space to be himself. And then there are others, parents so scared of disappointment that they discourage them from trying. It’s easier not to try than to fail, they think, but it’s not true.” She shakes her head. “It’s better to fail, though. You know why?” “Because,” Rebbetzin Kakon, wife of the rosh yeshiva of Nefesh Dovid, speaks softly, “because then you tasted the joy of trying, and once you’ve worked hard, you’ll do it again.” This article and the accompanying photos were originally printed in Mishpacha Magazine and are reprinted with their permission.


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A Holiday Toast By Allan Rolnick, CPA

JANUARY 3, 2019

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“proof gallon” of hard liquor. State governments add their own taxes, ranging from 2 cents/gallon of beer in Wyoming to $35.22/gallon of the hard stuff in Washington. Epidemiologists have concluded that boosting those taxes by 10% – about 50 cents for a six-pack of Bud Light – would cut deaths from alcohol-related diseases by 2,000-6,000

raising alcohol taxes punishes responsible drinkers? The American Journal of Preventative Medicine reports that “higher-risk drinkers would pay nearly 83% of an effective tax increase of 25 cents per drink.” And responsible drinkers would benefit from reducing the crime, drunk driving, and health problems they’re already paying for

“The single most effective thing you can do to reduce crime right away is to raise the price of alcohol.”

per year. Raising taxes would also cut deaths from car crashes, violence, crime, and STDs. Professor Mark Kleiman of New York University says, “The single most effective thing you can do to reduce crime right away is to raise the price of alcohol.” It wouldn’t even mean hiring new cops or building new prisons. What about the argument that

without a higher tax. Of course, raising taxes requires political will – a quality that seems to be in short supply in Washington. 63% of Americans drink. Licensed beverage establishments employ millions of Americans. It’s hard to see Congress shunning beverage lobbyists just to satisfy a bunch of lab rats.

There’s one way to avoid booze taxes entirely, and that’s to just quit drinking. Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards, who turned 75 this week but appears likely to live until the sun explodes, just announced that he’s given it up. Richards has a long history of enjoying controlled substances, so the alcohol he consumed faced a crowded pharmaceutical environment anyway. But now he’s down to just coffee and cigarettes. (Of course, with the pickling effect gone, will everyday diseases of aging realize Richards’s body is a safe space for them now?) If Uncle Sam can’t seem to get his act together to help save Americans from over-drinking, we hope that you can use your own will to cut down on alcohol. A little bit here or there is OK – after all, we need some for kiddush, right?! – but when it becomes a booze-fest, it’s no longer a holy pursuit. So stay off the hard stuff, and enjoy spending time with your family in a more sober way this season. L’chaim! Allan J Rolnick is a CPA who has been in practice for over 30 years in Queens, NY. He welcomes your comments and can be reached at 718-896-8715 or at allanjrcpa@aol.com.

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oliday season is in full swing, and millions of Americans are celebrating with their favorite libations. Breweries are rolling out their winter brews. Wine stores are stocking up on champagne. And somewhere in a gentrifying warehouse district near you, a hipster bartender in a flannel shirt and man bun is crafting his favorite seasonal cocktail. But alcohol can be a mixed blessing. Alcoholism is a disease; public intoxication is a crime; and drunk driving is epidemic. If a plucky Silicon Valley startup invented a new product called “Booz” or “Hüch,” the Food and Drug Administration would surely shoot it down. So, could taxes play a role in helping Americans drink more responsibly? Last week, Vox analyzed the issue from a public health perspective and came to some pretty sobering conclusions. (No lawyers and lobbyists spinning loopholes here!) First, some perspective. Uncle Sam collected about $9.7 billion in alcohol taxes in 2017. These generally run $16 per barrel of beer (with a special rate for your friendly neighborhood brewpub), $1.07-3.40 per gallon of wine, and $13.50 per


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