Heritage
A bride is always given a name that her new family will use, this is a way to show the bride that she is welcomed into the family important day by beautifying herself using creams, calamine lotion and ochre paste (a rust-coloured paste). She stays in seclusion where the elder women of the family give her advice about marriage. It’s also a time to prepare the outfits, which is a very important part of the celebrations.
Wedding celebrations and outfits The wedding kicks off on a Friday afternoon when the girl’s family welcomes the groom’s family to their home. This is called ukwamukela abayeni. The groom’s family is presented with a goat they can slaughter or take with them when they leave. In turn, they present the bride’s family with gifts of blankets, pots, ukhukho (mats made of reeds) and everything else that the bride’s family had requested from the groom’s family. A small celebration is held with traditional beer and food. The bride is kept away from this celebration as she remains in seclusion. Saturday is the big day of the wedding. Traditionally there were no white weddings in Xhosa culture but recently they have become acceptable. According to Asanda Madyibi, a fashion designer based in
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Johannesburg, an outfit can make or spoil the wedding. She says whereas in the olden days people’s traditional outfits were designed and coloured based on which clan the bride and groom came from, these days many people choose to go with white as the primary colour. Asanda says that while the traditional wedding dresses called umbhaco or isikhakha were made from animal skins or hard linen, these days any fabric goes. “You can make a traditional outfit using any kind of material from silk to cotton and still look traditional.” She says that whereas in the past people liked using multicoloured beads to accentuate their look, nowadays they keep it simple with turquoise and sky blue beads. This also applies to men who wear beads and carry a beaded stick called intonga. Traditionally, people chose to go barefoot at weddings, which some people still do as a way of keeping with tradition. Some women still use calamine lotion to make dots on their faces as decoration. The bride wears a small beaded veil over her face and a cloth that is wrapped around her head as a symbol of respect to her in-laws. These days this is often replaced by a hat or fascinator.
Taking umakoti to her new home Luthando says while the first two days of the wedding are full of celebration, cheer and lots of food, the real wedding happens on a Sunday in a process called umdudo. On this day the bride, her family and people invited to accompany her take gifts to the groom’s family. Included in these gifts are hats made of wool, called isankwane, that are presented as thank-you gifts to onozakuzaku who were involved in the lobola negotiations. On arrival at the groom’s house the bride
is taken to a separate room by the women of the house. "Siphiwo’s female relatives then dressed me in isishweshwe, black head gear, a towel around my breasts, a blanket over my shoulders and a scarf around my waist,” says Luthando. Songongo adds that once umakoti has been dressed a goat is slaughtered, called ukuhlabisa umakoti. The grilled meat, together with amasi (sour milk), is then given to umakoti to eat and drink. “After this and as part of tradition, I was then given a new name, Chulumanco, which means happiness. A bride is always given a name that her new family will use. This is also a way to show the bride that she is welcomed into the family,” says Luthando. Once this is done, explains Songongo, umakoti is given a spear or a big knife and taken to a hut or a traditional place surrounded by trees or a kraal where only men of the family can enter. This space is called ubuhlanti. It is considered to be the ancestors’ place and it is where the slaughtering of animals takes place for events. "Ubuhlanti has a pole called ixhanti where umakoti is instructed to press the spear or knife into the ground. This is her introduction to the ancestors from the groom’s side and it’s the most important part of the wedding." After this process the bride sits with the women from the groom’s side who give her advice on marriage and its challenges. The bride’s family is presented with a goat they can slaughter or take home. The feasting and celebrations begin again and can go on well into the night. The last and final step of this customary wedding is to register it at home affairs to make it legal.