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Winter 2013

Caregiver Reality Check


s a kinship caregiver, you have to be realistic about what can and can’t be controlled. The first step is taking ownership of your caregiver role and admitting that it might be a long-term commitment. This acknowledgement allows you to plan and seek help. The National Family Caregivers Association has reported that this simple shift in attitude can have a profound impact on your situation. By accepting and putting a name on it, you will be less inclined to set yourself up for stress and emotions that prevent you from seeking help.

Think of caregiving as a marathon, not a sprint. Marathoners get through a race by pacing themselves and getting sustenance and water along the way. A lot of people throw themselves into a “caregiving frenzy” that quickly leads to emotional and physical burnout. Set your pace for a long race and accept the reality that you will need help along the way. Be Realistic. Think Positive. Your attitude can be the biggest barrier to taking care of yourself and doing the best job in caring for the new addition to your home. Your mind will believe what you tell it. Tell it that you’re a kinship caregiver, that you need to stay healthy, that you have rights and that you will do the best you can but you’ll have to find help for certain things.

Being realistic and thinking positive are easier if you: • Take ownership of your role as a caregiver. “I am a kinship caregiver. It’s a tough job, but I can do it.” • Pace yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Seek help along the way. • Admit your feelings, whether they are sorrow, anger, resentment or fear. Get help if you can’t control them. • Admit when you need help. Seek help and ask for specific things. • Listen to your body and respond. When it needs food, exercise, rest or medical attention, make sure to give it what it needs. • Organize your resources to allow time for your personal life. Keep living. • Communicate with other caregivers. They’ll understand what you’re going through and offer comfort and help. • Stick to the present. Do what you have to do today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. *Adapted from ‘Caregiver Reality Check,’ American Heart Association, Inc. Feb 21, 2012.

Who is Bair & What is Kinship?

Bair’s Asheville Location at Executive Park


he Bair Foundation is a child and family ministry with 45 years of experience in the field of child welfare. Our Asheville office has been providing therapeutic foster care to local abused and neglected youth for the past three years. We recruit and retain quality homes in Asheville and the surrounding areas that are able to provide structure, stability, safety, and love to children in the foster care system. The Bair Foundation actively recruits teen homes and families who are willing to take sibling groups, as that is where the need is greatest. The objective of our ministry is to strengthen families and ultimately provide permanency for these children, either through returning home, foster-to-adopt, legal guardianship, or kinship care. Kinship Care is a program designed to help support a child who resides outside of his or her own home, either temporarily or for the long term, with a relative, godparents, stepparents or any adult who has a “kinship bond” with a child. Kinship Care is an option that allows a child to grow into adulthood in a familiar family environment instead of being placed in foster care. THANK YOU Kinship families for providing transitional care for your “kin” while their biological parents complete the steps necessary so their children can return home.

Questions? Laura May, Kinship Coordinator The Bair Foundation Executive Park Suite 217 - Bldg. 1 Asheville, NC 28801 (828) 350-5197 (877) 213-0723 toll free (828) 350- 5199 fax email: Buncombe County Dept. of Social Services 40 Coxe Avenue, PO Box 7408 Asheville, NC 28802 (828) 250-5500 (828) 250-6235 fax

If you would like to help/give/hold a donation drive please contact Laura!



Super Thrift Store Western Carolina Rescue Ministries


tore proceeds are used to support Western Carolina Rescue Ministries of Asheville. Items for sale include clothing, furniture, books, dishes and other household goods. *If you are a Kinship Provider in Buncombe County’s Kinship Program, you can receive up to $25.00 worth of clothing free of charge to you. Simply tell the cashier you are a kinship provider, provide your last name and you are good to go!

Land-of-Sky Regional Council Family Caregiver Support


(828) 254-0010 624 Patton Ave. Asheville, NC 28806 A Big THANK YOU to Biltmore Baptist Richard Bellflower Connect Group for partnering with The Super Thrift Store to provide clothing to our kinship families! Hours of Operation: Monday - Saturday 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.

(828) 251-6622 339 New Leicester Hwy, Asheville

and-of-Sky Regional Council is a four-county, local government planning and development organization in Western North Carolina, Serving BunServices Include: combe, Henderson, Madison & Transylvania Counties. Information about resources to help families in their caregiver roles. The Family Caregiver Support Program offers information, assistance and support to: Assistance to families in locating •

Kinship Caregivers age 55 and over caring for a child under the age of 18

Caregivers caring for someone 60 or older

Caregivers caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease or a related dementia.

resources and services from a variety of local agencies. Caregiver counseling and peer support to help families cope with the emotional and physical stress of dealing with caregiving.

Buncombe County Offers Free Tax Assistance 2013 AARP Foundation Tax-Aide, the I.R.S, N.C. Dept. of Revenue, Buncombe County Library System and COA, Inc. will offer free tax preparations February 1 to April 15, 2013 for taxpayers with low- and moderate-income with special attention to those age 60 and older. Both Federal and N.C. State tax returns will be electronically filed for safe and accurate preparation and faster refunds.

Taxpayers should bring the following documents:  Social Security cards and ID for all taxpayers and dependents.  Previous year’s (2011) income tax return  W-2 forms from each employer  1099 forms for income from Social Security, Pension, Interest, Dividends,

Brokers/Mutual Funds, Miscellaneous Income, Gambling Winnings (Form W-2G) and any other income  Detailed list and receipts for Medical Expenses, Charitable Contributions,

Real Estate Taxes and Mortgage Interest (Form 1098), if you are claiming itemized expenses  Any other tax forms or information for both income and expenses  A voided check for direct deposit of any refund to your checking or savings


LOCATIONS DAYS/HOURS Pack Library: Mondays & Wednesdays 67 Haywood Street; 10:00 am – 4:00 pm (Downtown Asheville, next to U.S. Cellular Center) Asheville, NC 28801 (Tel: 250-4700) West Asheville Library: Tuesdays 942 Haywood Road; 9:00 am - 4:00 pm Asheville, NC 28806 (Tel: 250-4750) Weaverville Public Library: Thursdays 41 North Main Street; 10:00 am – 4:00 pm Weaverville, NC 28787 (Tel: 250-6482) Black Mountain Library: Tuesdays 105 N Dougherty Street; 10:00 am – 4:00 pm Black Mountain, NC 28711 (Tel: 250-4756) Questions and requests for home bound individuals can be directed to the Buncombe County Council on Aging, Inc. (Tel: 277-8288)

Tips for Parents: Children Raised by Relatives


ore than 6 million children in the United States are being raised by relatives—especially grandparents. In many of these homes, the parents are not present and may be only minimally involved in the child’s life—if at all.

to find a way to pay for additional expenses the child needs. Older guardians may have health issues that make caring for a young one difficult. Jealousy, resentment, financial hardships, health concerns, poor relations with the child’s parents and other issues can make adopting or raising a relative’s child a challenging experience. These tips can help:

When parents choose not to care for their own children, or become unable to provide safe, loving care due to drug addiction, abuse, death, imprisonment, mental disorders or other situations, family members often step in to care for the child and prevent them from living in the foster care system.

1. Acknowledge & help the children in kinship care find ways of appropriately expressing their feelings.

Raising a Relative’s Child can be a Challenge

3. Keep the child out of negative family interactions.

This situation allows children to remain among family and retain a sense of belonging and acceptance. However, it presents unique challenges to everyone. Family members with limited incomes, such as grandparents living on Social Security, often struggle

4. Have the whole family stress their commitment to care for the child.

2. Help them feel safe by letting them know they have a right to their feelings, without being critical

5. Stay alert to potential behavior problems. 6. Communicate any concerns openly with your Social Worker.

Support Groups Monthly Caregiver Support Group Homewatch Caregivers is pleased to announce that Suzannah Tebbe Davis, Agency Director, is facilitating the Reeves Chapel UMC monthly Caregiver Support group. This group is open to unpaid caregivers and family members who are taking care of a loved one. The group meets for fellowship, to exchange ideas and to bring in relevant guest speakers. Where: Reeves Chapel United Methodist Church 225 Sardis Rd. Asheville NC 28806 When: The 3rd Monday of each month at 7:00 PM For further information please contact:

WNC parent


Rev Jay Bissett at 828-772-4362 or Ginger Robertson at 828-713-9948

Engage your children. Enrich their lives! The 3rd Annual Summer Camp Expo and Family Fun Day is your one-stop place to discover the summer camp opportunities of Western North Carolina and beyond! There are camps for every type of camper!

Academic  Religious Outdoor Adventure  Sports Arts  Special Needs  Day Camps

Saturday, March 2, 2013 11am -3:00 pm Sherrill Center UNC Asheville (828) 236-8991

PLUS all-day fun… The first 500 campers will receive a goodie bag with special offers from camps. Plus, every camper can play the Passport to Prizes game to be entered to win free camp sessions and gear!

Monthly Kinship Caregiver Support Group When you go to a kinship support meeting you get a chance to connect with other kinship caregivers by sharing stories and information, offering support and listening to each other. Come out and join us, have fellowship and network! Please contact Laura May for more information or questions. Mark Your Calendars! 3/14/13: Meeting at Bair Office. 5:00 – 6:00 pm. 4/18/13: Meeting at Bair Office. 5:00 – 6:00 pm. Where: Bair’s Asheville office Executive Park Building 1, Suite 217, Asheville Contact: Laura May 828-350-5197 email:

Blue Ridge Cowboy Church’s Tack Room

Blue Ridge cowboy church

New Baby & Children’s Clothing Closet to open March 4th!

(828) 777-6033

36 Vance Ave., Black Mtn.


he Blue Ridge Cowboy Church Youth Group is collecting unwanted new and gently used baby equipment, toys, shoes, and clothing (preemie to kids size 16) to begin a baby/children/teens closet for those in need. To drop off items, or receive items please For additional information or to donate please contact: contact Millie Lewis at MLewis@ you can call Millie Lewis or text 828-777-6033 and your 828-777-6033 request will be answered within 24 hours. If you are donating items, you will receive a tax receipt for your donation.

Kinship Connection is a publication of The Bair Foundation 217 Executive Park, Asheville, NC 28801 (877) 213-0723

36 Vance Avenue Black Mountain, NC 28711

Kinship Winter 2013  
Kinship Winter 2013  

The Bair Foundation provides kinship support services to kinship families in Buncombe County, North Carolina.