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The Badger Herald | Classifieds | Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Classifieds SO to post-sex culvers delivered. best morning ever. SO to my friend who projectile vomitted onto her cat while it was sleeping. ASO to said cat being mad and them not being on “speaking terms”. SO to the random hook up I just had in the Memorial Stacks. Boy, you know who you are, I had a great time, and would love to check another place off our bucket lists sometime ;) LOLSO to the girl having sex in the stacks. About 30 people listened in dead silence to you getting it on. Also, you sounded like you were getting stabbed viciously at some points. Hope you’re okay but by the way it ended I’m sure you are. ASO to having terrible gas while studying in the cages at Memorial. I’m hotboxing myself due to my leaky ass hole. SO to finally buying some toilet bowl cleaner for my toilet. DSO to it smelling “rain clean” every time I pee now. ASO to developing senioritis right before midterms begin ASO to wanting to be passive aggressive about someone on the shout outs and letting it all out, but not doing it because I know the person reads the shout outs and so he would find out it was about him. DASO to passive aggressiveness. HMFSO to the Shoutouts for being infinitely times better than the UW-Madison Confessions page ever will be. HASO to people you remain your Facebook friend, yet limit you to as if you weren’t friends. What’s the point? It feels so one wayed. HMFSO to sex so good that you want to scream but it comes out in a series of squeaks. ASO to not having an opportunity for a repeat for another month or so. SO to the girl who totally at shit today on Mills across from the McDonald’s. You got up and your ass was all covered in water! I hope you are ok, but it was seriously the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while ASO to tour groups for making me feel like an Elvis sighting every time I walk past SO to cheez-its. You da fuckin bomb. LOLSO to the girl who publicly posted her confession on the UW-Madison confession page. Yeah that’s right Jeni,
I screenshoted the hell out of that. ASO to me for always falling for guys who are allergic to cats. I WANT A KITTEN SO BAD SO to Beyonce. ASO to myself for not being Beyonce SO to the shoutouts for keeping me sane while working for hours on homework. Best way to stay entertained while at the library. SO to Game of Thrones. ASO to having to wait another month. HSO to looking forward to my boyfriend bending me over and groaning “Khaleesi!!” to celebrate the season premiere. ASO to writing, re writing, re writing then re writing again my cover letters. every time I finish I hate it again. SO to getting a job... hopefully ASO to getting hungry at abnormal times. I know I deserve it because I’ve trained myself to get hungry at odd hours... But it still blows. ASO to not keeping up with my reading. How many all nighters does it take for me to make myself get with the program.... ASO to the guy in my apartment building who is literally always singing. Do you ever stop?? Its been hours and some of us actually want to sleep. ASO to roommates who take 15 minute shits. DASO to people who bring their laptops into the bathroom with them. Your keyboard must be saturated in fecal matter. ASO to people that spill coffee in a lecture and don’t warn the people in front of them to move their backpacks. How rude (Stephanie Tanner voice) SO to mother nature. Why in the hell do you punish me for not being pregnant?!?!?! You should be rewarding me instead of making me feel like I am dying a slow and painful death. HSO to cuddling on a nightly basis, that shit I like! SO to professors using the verb penetrate...you should know where everyone’s minds go after that. ASO to people who smoke. Next time you blow smoke in my face when I’m walking to class, I am going to spit on you (because, ya know, I have the right to do it...) SO to the magnetic, inherent attraction with a friend
of mine... I don’t know you all that well, Jake, but daaaaaamn, when our eyes lock... ASO to the complications in our way. Just tell me how you feel!! ASO to people who feel the need to brag about their personal accomplishments in facebook groups. Promise, no one cares. DASO to people who post about sublets or ticket exchanges in every other group except the groups that were made for those things. GTFO. SadSO to it being about that time when I’m abroad and really homesick. I could use a hug from momma right about now. Maybe a roomie dance rave and definitely some Babcock ice cream. ASO to running out of weed just before my midterms start. SO to switching birth control and my boobs getting bigger. ASO to lefty growing more than righty. SO to cold medicine. I’m feelin a little too good for how sick I was this morning. Also feelin like the world is tilted to the right and I can’t quite sit up straight. SO to taking the biggest dump of my life in Grainger hall today. ASO to clogging a power flush toilet, that’s possible? ASO to breaking my phone, then literally 1 minute later ending it with my girlfriend. ASO to being in Michigan and hearing people bitch about the cold. Zero with the wind chill is nothing. SO to the girl who thought Barack Obama was a restaurant ASO to everyone who walks so damn slow on the way to class. My body does not appreciate being awake at 9 in the morning, nor does it appreciate lingering in the subzero temperatures. PICK UP THE FUCKING PACE SO I CAN GET INSIDE! ASO to my neighbor for making our hall a techno rave every afternoon. Asshole... Shout out to all the coasties who despite the weather still refuse to wear pants shoutout to calculating how many extra shifts i have to work at pop’s to get 1/8 a week. anti-shoutout to my anthro lecture in ag hall. it really shouldn’t take us all 15 minutes to file out of the damn lecture hall.
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