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Movie Man
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Hercules myth mash-up is ungodly to some Some folks are sticklers for accuracy. When it comes to cinematic adaptations, they don’t want their beloved novels/comics/ history messed with. That’s something mythology fans are fuming about when it comes to the new Hercules. About the film Even though it seems queer that some folks head out to a movie starring “The Rock” and expect scholastic accuracy, they ain’t findin’ it in Hercules and they are shocked – shocked! (The film is based on a recent comic series, by the way.) Seldom are people happy with how movies bring written stories to the screen. For every rare exception – The Fault in Our Stars or The Hunger Games – there are a zillion gripers who bemoan things left out or added. (A classic movie move is to merge multiple book characters into a new just one to capture the gist of a theme.) Don’t get fanboys going on how the history of Asgard is wrong in Thor or how the entire continuity thread in X-Men got ravaged because of idiot director Brett Ratner – who, coincidently, has helmed this new Hercules – so goofed up The Last Stand (2006, Movie Man No. 668, a 5). That’s why you can find an army of Ratner haters out there. He’s not the greatest director, certainly. His claim to fame is filming Rush Hour which was truly funny (1998, MM #252, 7). Ratner then directed the sequels which got progressively poorer: RH2 (2001, MM #416, 6) and RH3 (2007, #731, 5). He also made Red Dragon (MM #477, 6), a Hannibal Lector sequel, in 2002 which was decent. But, for the most part, Ratner is a middlin’ moviemaker. Making a “sword ‘n’ sandal” movie is always tricky. His-
torically, Hercules movies are pretty bad, often entering the culture as camp. Dr. Frank N. Furter, singing “Sweet Transvestite” in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, recommends for fun watching “an old Steve Reeves movie.” Reeves was a bodybuilder who made a series of cheesy Hercules/barbarian films in the late 1950s-early ‘60s. The all-time champion sword ‘n’ sandal movie is 1982’s Conan the Barbarian starring a very young Arnold Schwarzenegger. That juggernaut has everything – violence, humor, sensuality, cheesiness (especially the dialogue), a great villain, and, of course, Arnold. Plus, the soundtrack is considered one of the best from any genre. It was so over-the-top that Universal bumped it from a premier Christmastime release date to early 1982 due to its wild content. It’s that fantastic. Hercules is no Conan – but it was better than the Movie Man expected. The plot (spoiler) Folks believe Hercules (Johnson) is the son of the god Zeus and a mortal woman. His myth spreads among the people when he successfully completes the challenge of the Twelve Labors that includes slaying a giant pig beast and a huge lion with impenetrable skin. Now an adult, Hercules wanders the Greek countryside with a band of mercenaries; they’re swords for hire. Hercules is haunted by a memory that’s unclear – the bloody murders of his wife and children. Rumor has it that Hercules killed them and he doesn’t know if he did it or not. The demigod and his troupe are hired to stop a pillaging army that is threatening Thrace. Lord Cotys (John Hurt) uses his daughter Ergenia (Rebecca Ferguson) and a cute grandson
Hercules
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OMD: Oh my demigod Starring: Dwayne Johnson, John Hurt, Rufus Sewell, Ian McShane Directed by: Brett Ratner Rated PG-13 for: violence, gore, scary creatures, bombast email: movieman@azlenews.net
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Movie Man
But in Hercules’ case, it’s exceptionally imaginative. The entire movie hypes the demigod’s success at the Twelve Labors. However, during the movie, his actual completion of the challenges is never shown. Then come the end credits. In very cool 3-D animation, “behind the scenes” shots show that Hercules was hardly working alone; all along the way, his merry band was secretly aiding in him fulfilling his quests.
please don’t bring a baby into the movie like some genius did in the Movie Man’s auditorium. Summing up Good start, slow stretch, fine finish – Hercules is a smidgen behind this year’s 300 sequel Rise of an Empire (MM #1,079, 7), but it’s pretty cool and fun – way better than the Movie Man expected.
Next up The movie with the endlessly shown trailer, Guardians of the What doesn’t work After a fun start, the film Galaxy, finally arrives. Early wobbles and meanders as Her- notices are positive... cules and his fellow mercenaries train Hurt’s army. And it’s a long stretch of slowness. A battle against some demonized hordes goes on too long and there are far too many heli817-238-8300 copter shots of armies marching www.texasmoviebistro.com over barren Greek wasteland. 3980 Boat Club Rd Lake Worth Some of the fake backdrops SERVING FOOD, BEER & WINE – like mountains – look pretty ShOWtImES FRI 8/1–ThuRs 8/7 poor by today’s CG standards. $5 MATINEES, ALL MOVIES BEFORE 6PM
lieves “today is a good day to die” but it just won’t happen. There’s a couple of great 3-D shots, including one of a rampaging multi-tusked behemoth Hercules fights and another of a spear held over the audience for much longer than you see in 3-D, usually. A standout sequence arrives when the truth about what happened to Hercules’ family is reWhat works The first and last parts of vealed with spitting venom by The rating Hercules is firmly in PGHercules are superior to the another king (played with great 13 territory. There are a ton of relish by Joseph Fiennes). middlin’ middle. fights, some scary monsters, Two things are established child endangerment, and an ocearly on in the movie. 1. The Best scene (spoiler) Sometimes the end credits casional vulgarity. (Hercules film will be a mix of camp and action, complete with some are fun (and, sadly, the best even drops an f-bomb.) The rating is right – but contemporary language. 2. The part) of a movie. 3-D would be fun. It’s hard to believe that anyPlaza Cinema IV one could dislike The Rock. He 920 W. Thompson, Decatur certainly looks the part with his FRI. 8/1 - THUR. 8/7 Small Town Feel bulging body. And he’s better Guardians of The Galaxy 2D/3D PG-13 wiTh an UpTown look! than Arnold at delivering some Friday 08/01 - Thursday 08/07 Get On Up PG-13 of the corny lines like screamHercules 2D/3D PG-13 Coming August 8 ing “I am Hercules!” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7:00pm PG-13 Lucy R A few supporting players Into the Storm 8:00pm PG-13 And So It Goes PG-13 shine, too. The Movie Man Tickets now on sale for TMNT, Planes: Fire and Rescue PG also for 8/14 Expendables 3 at 7:00pm has always been a fan of Rufus The Purge: Anarchy R Guardians Of The Galaxy PG-13 Sewell ever since the Movie R July 31 - 7:00pm Man spotted him in the vastly Sex Tape Dawn of the Planet of the Apes PG-13 Lucy R underrated A Knight’s Tale How to Train Your Dragon 2 PG (2001, MM #404, 8). Hercules PG-13 Cinema 10 strongly enforces the National M.P.A.A. Rating System. NO John Hurt, now on the back- ONEWeatherford UNDER 17 will be admitted into an “R” rated movie without being accompanied Dawn of the Planet of the Apes PG-13 by their parent. There are no exceptions to this policy and I.D. WILL BE CHECKED. side of a long career, is strong Planes: Fire and Rescue PG For times as wily King Cotys. & info. 817.341.3232 Movies are subject to changes! Box Office Opens: Sun - Fri 12 pm · Sat Only 9:30 am And, as a fighting seer in the 1000 Cinema Drive in Hudson Oaks 940-627-5522 1 mile West of Lakeshore Drive, off of Fort Worth Highway Hercules herd, Ian McShane – CHECK OUR WEBSITE FOR MOVIE TIMES! purchase tickets online much like Chief Dan George in www.plazacinema4.com www.citylightstheaters.com the super Little Big Man – beto entice the Hercules crowd to stop the advancing army. They do, but it’s a bloody affair. Afterward, things turn sour and, well, kings will be kings – they’re politicians – and a double cross looms. That means Hercules must set things right. And, boy, does he.
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