Inspired Women Magazine May/June 2013 by INSPIRED WOMEN MAGAZINE

May / June 2013

F E A T U R E

Sheila Wysocki A friendship that lives on...

MOTHERHOOD

A High Calling FRIENDS FOREVER

Knowing God as a friend

EASTERN MYSTICISM

Summer-Ready must haves Pink Collar Ink Insight for the Working Woman

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

CHRISTIAN MEDITATION

WAITING FOR A MATE A TRUE LOVE STORY

may/june 2013

inspiredwomenmagazine.com Contributing Writers Karin Syren Laurette Willis Mia Green Tammi Ector

in this issue

Lori Hatcher

3 | Publisherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Note

Lanette Kissel

4 | Friends Forever, The Final Decision

Nina Hilger

7 | No Other than Mother

Corallie Buchanan

8 | Sheila Wysocki Interview

Rebecca Byrd

15 | What is Christian Meditation?

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

16 | Lifting my Head

Dania Hernandez Ad Sales 305-720-5841 contact@inspiredwomenmagazine.com

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

his issue is about friendship and celebrating mothers which could be interchangeable for some. Our feature article on Sheila Wysocki is a perfect example of a friendship that goes to the ends of the earth. Friendships are important and the bible has some great examples of the bond of true friendship. You have an example in David and Jonathan, Elijah and Elisha, Ruth and Naomi to name a few. I recently took an inventory of the deep friendships I’ve experienced. I thought about where I failed them and even where they have failed me. But I’ve learned that no one is perfect and those times will come when we will fail the person we call friend. I’ve had to sift through some emotions and understand why some friends are in my life and others are not. But for those that are, what are you willing to do for them? How far will you go to show them the love of a true friend? Read how Sheila went above and beyond to show her friend how much she impacted her life. Friends are the channel of love and affection. Love and affection is a big part of life. Sheila displayed her love and affection when no one was really looking or understood, but she is leaving her mark in showing us all what true friendship is.

TO GREAT FRIENDS... inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Happy Mother’s Day!!!

CHRISTIAN LIVING

n o i s i c e D l a n i F e h T , r e v e r o F rF iends ning Coach

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

n Vision & Pla , n e r y S in r a by K

“So the Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.”

when it came to deciding the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah. (Genesis 18:16-33)

Moses spoke face to face with God in such profound harmony that his countenance reflected the very glory of God. (Exodus 34:31) While Moses’ behavior at Meribah cost him entrance Exodus 33:11 KJV into the Promised Land (Numbers 20:8-13), it did not cost him friendship with God. In fact, Two Old Testament patriarchs, Abraham and so intimate was their friendship that only God Moses, share the distinction of being deemed knows where he is buried. (Deuteronomy 34:6) friends of God. Abraham displayed his faith in God by his obedience. God designated him as It is important to know that what gained these friend, by His invitation into the closest friendship two men friendship with God was not their possible. Abraham enjoyed such closeness with perfection, for both fell short in that regard. God that he was very much in the inner circle Instead, it was their willingness to take God at His

Word, not only believing but acting upon it. They are set apart from others in the Old Testament, whom God loved and called to greatness, by their designation as friends. Knowing God as friend takes us to a place of not only witnessing His acts, but gives us entrance into knowledge of His ways, the secrets of the inner circle. (Psalm 103:7) God tells us, through Isaiah, that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, and His ways than our ways. (Isaiah 55:8-11) Many have taken this to mean that we are left without understanding. But friendship with Him brings with it the mind of Christ and knowledge of the ways of God. (John 15:12-17; 1 Corinthians 2:16; Psalm 103:7)

Consider a study of the lives of Abraham and Moses. Then look at David, who was far from perfect but nonetheless a man after God’s heart, and Joseph, the boastful little brother who saved all of Israel from starvation because God was with him. (Acts 13:22 & Genesis 39) They were by no means perfect but they had in common that they believed, and acted on what they believed. There is a lost and hurting world out there waiting to experience friendship with the Father, and who is to share it with them if not us? So step into the intimacy that is offered and step out into the world and share the Good News.

Nothing has changed. There is a deep intimacy in true friendship and when we accept Jesus’ invitation as personal Savior, we are drawn into that inner circle and we become friends of God simply by accepting and believing. It is about time we started acting more like friends than pitiful outsiders!

I would be remiss if I closed without offering an opportunity to enter into this eternal friendship, for those who may not be sure of their position. No event in my own life has had a more powerful impact than the decision I made in the early morning hours of a spring day in 1993. Not only did my eternal future change that day, but the course of my life as well. We can only hope It is time we started sharing His invitation with to realize our full significance in our willingness the world. There is great Good News to share to abandon our self-importance and make Jesus and a harvest of souls waiting to be brought into Christ the Lord of our lives. the Kingdom. The world is no longer able to “Jesus answered him, I assure recognize even the acts of God and it is up to us you, most solemnly I tell you, to make known God’s invitation to friendship and that unless a person is born again intimate knowledge of His ways.

In John 3, Jesus told Nicodemus that it was necessary for him to be born again from above. But why? Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God but that if we confess with our mouths and believe with our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, then we are saved. (Romans 10:9) You may be thinking,

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

If you have made Jesus Christ your personal Lord and Savior, you have access to deep and abiding intimacy with Him. But it is up to you whether or not you choose to experience intimate friendship with God. If you have not been experiencing this closeness, perhaps the cause is a lack of understanding. (Hosea 4:6) You cannot earn intimacy with God based on your exemplary behavior. It is by faith that you will enter in; it is your willingness to take God at His Word, not only believing, but acting upon it.

(anew, from above), he cannot ever see (know, be acquainted with, and experience the kingdom of God.”John 3:3 AMP

“but Karin, I don’t need saving. I’m a good, honest, loving, law-abiding person. Isn’t that enough? Aren’t I saved enough?” We were fashioned in the image and likeness of God, by Him and for Him, to be joined with Him in perfect bliss for all of eternity. To be in His image, we have been endowed with His characteristics, all but the divinity that was His alone. One of these is free will. Free will - without divinity – well, you can see the risk. And sure enough, it wasn’t long before man, the crown of God’s creation, made the consummate bad choice abandoning his friendship. (Genesis 3:8)

Lord Jesus, I confess your name aloud as my One and only Lord and Savior. I ask You to come into my heart and be my personal Redeemer, the Lord of my life and my Best Friend. I am now and forever Your own and You are mine. In Jesus’ name – Amen”

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Salvation, bringing with it intimate friendship, reversed the curse of that bad choice back in Eden and bring us back into fellowship with Him -forever. This fellowship is available to anyone who wants it, not without a price – complete surrender. God wants nothing less than your whole heart, Romans 8:38-39 KJV and in return the immeasurable gift of eternal friendship with the Creator and Sustainer of all! If that is what you desire with all your heart, pray Congratulations, you are now born again! (John 3:3-7) You can be confident that, along with this prayer, or one like it, and begin your life! Abraham and Moses, you are a friend of God, joined with Him into eternity. “Heavenly Father, I confess that I have been on a road of my own making. I confess that I have done things my way, attempting to create my own path to Heaven. I have diluted your crystal clear Word, to make Copyright ©2010/2013 Karin Syren it seem more palatable. Now, Lord, I give All rights reserved up my own way and repent for each wrong Adapted & Reprinted with footstep I have taken.

I confess now with my mouth that You stepped from heaven into the earth and took on human form. You died for me, paying the penalty for me. You were raised from the dead and ever live as my staunchest Sponsor, Supporter, and Backer before the Throne.

permission from The Bible Minute: One Year of Concise Bible Studies for On the Go Christians Click to order your soft cover or Kindle copy at Amazon.com

Karin can be reached at Ksyren@solushunz.net. For more information about Solu’shunz Leadership Services, go to www.Solushunz.com.

by Lanette Kissel She was the one who loved you from the start, the one who played such a special part. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a part that canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be played by any other than one who goes by the name of mother. She was the one who taught you right from wrong, the one who could soothe you with her sweet song. She was the one who was there to dry every tear, the one who helped calm your every fear. You were blessed with her presence until that day the Father called her name and she went away. You were blessed by her gentle and loving touch. It was so hard to let go. She will be missed so much. She was the one who loved you from the start. And she will always have a special place in your heart.

INSPIRED POETRY

No Other than Mother

FEATURE inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Sheila Wysocki INTERVIEW

heila goes back nearly 30 years to describe her friend Angie Samota. She describes Angie as a person that lit up a room with her smile. She was filled with grace, generosity and kindness. They came from opposite backgrounds. Sheila was dyslexic and the daughter of a working mom and Angie Samota was wealthy, beautiful and one of the few female computer engineering majors in the country. How do you remember a best friend? What are your thoughts of friendships? Would you do just about anything for one? These are the questions one is inclined to ask oneself after learning about what Sheila Wysocki did for hers. Sheila and Angie were freshman roommates at Southern Methodist University in Dallas until Angie decided to move off-campus. Sheila recalls having little to no knowledge of evil existing. However, the events of one night in 1984 that level of innocence changed for Sheila when she learned that a stranger had knocked on Angie’s apartment door in the early morning hours. “He said he needed to use the phone and the restroom and because she was kind, she let him in,” says Sheila.

smiling and could see what she was wearing” says Sheila. “And as crazy as it sounds, I knew then that it was time.” She contacted the homicide division at the Dallas Police Department and was greatly disturbed when she was informed that no one had called about Angie’s murder in 20 years. Sheila was given the runaround for almost 2 years. There had no interest in reopening the case until the owner of the security company in her gated community suggested she get her private investigator’s license. The police would now have to cooperate with her. Speaking to Sheila is impressive and inspirational as you realize the determination and drive she possesses for faith and justice. Considering that she was dyslexia was no easy task, but Sheila got her license. More impressive was the strength and support she received from her family. Her then 13 year-old son read the books to her, studied with her, and she passed the exam. After another four years of continually pursuing the case and hearing remarks like, ”some cases weren’t meant to be solved” This comment made Sheila angry and even more driven. This eventually made the detectives re-open

the case in 2008. By this time, DNA testing had become commonplace since O.J. Simpson’s murder trial in 1995. Sheila said, “I used the O.J. case as an inspiration to push for the DNA testing. I was fortunate that the corner, Dr. Gillian, preserved Angie’s DNA evidence. The DNA protocol expert did Angie’s testing and found a perfect match in five-time convicted serial rapist Donald Bess. Bess was ultimately detained and sent to trial, where he was convicted of the murder and sentenced to death in 2010. Bess was sentenced to death in 2010, and his case is currently being appealed. Although Angie was not here to see it, she had a true friend in Sheila. It is a powerful and deep connected friendship. It would warm Angie’s beautiful spirit to know that she had a life-long friend in Sheila---a friendship that never died. Sheila uses her God-given gift of investigation, as a child her mom referred to it as nosy, to help others that need her gift. I had the great pleasure of speaking to Sheila and asked her a few questions.

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Realizing that she had made a mistake, Angie called her boyfriend, but it was too late. The attacker or “the beast” as Sheila refers to him had raped, murdered and stabbed Angie 18 times. The scene was so horrid that the investigators initially believed that Angie’s heart had been ripped out. This was too much for Sheila and she ultimately dropped out of college and went to go live her mom for a while. Sheila spent the next two years speaking with detectives and even regularly met with suspects in the case. Sheila later learned that after only 8 months the case had been closed due to the mounds of paperwork. Sheila’s life moved forward with marriage and the birth of her two sons whom each with medical conditions required her fulltime care and attention. Sheila had to put her quest of finding Angie’s murderer on hold, but never forgetting the affects Angie had in her life and the disappointment of not finding the murderer. However, a Bible study session in 2004 led to Sheila seeing a vision of her fallen friend; a clear sign to continue moving forward in finding answers to the murder. “I was sitting at my bed and at the end of my bed, I saw her

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

IWM: What is friendship to you? SW: Friendship to me is unconditional love. I have a small group of lifelong friends that on a dime I could call or they could call for anything and each one will be there for the other. I look for qualities such as faith, honesty and compassion. As I get older I am more selective with my friends.

praying. Some cases have tested me as a person but I know God is right beside me every step of the way or I couldn’t do speak of for the voiceless. Recently some threats have scared me but God has placed people in my life to protect my family and myself. God is good all the time, sometimes I question but he amazes me with answers.

IWM: What drives you? SW: Besides the obvious of my family and modeling for my children, but being a voice for the voiceless is the ultimate. I can already see my

IWM: Where does your strength come from? SW: God is first with my strength. God has given me a husband and family that inspires me and challenges me. When I start questioning or acting

children standing up for their beliefs even when it weak, my husband will gently push me to do what is not popular or it is scary. is right. My entire family is so involved in my life when I feel weak I will seek their strength because IWM: What motivated to you to keep going I can’t go on. through the challenges and obstacles? SW: I have to believe that God is guiding me IWM: You have talked about God’s nod? What through cases. I have been scared when I have been is that? threatened and my family has been threatened but SW: God nods are my favorite. It is when I am at I have faith in God and what I am doing. I pray for my lowest point and I can’t see why I am called protection and the armor of God. Before I take a upon he gives me a nod. It can be in the way of a case I spend a week going through the armor and person, a thought or a sign that I am in the right

place at the right time doing the right thing. I feel it is God nodding to continue. I am highly aware of things around me and I listen to my intuition and the gut feeling God has given me but sometimes he puts the right person in front of me with the answer. I get really, really excited when God nods at me. Just writing about it makes me smile. IWM: What message would you want to share with others in a similar situation? SW: Believe in yourself. God has equipped you with a gift so that you can use it. Know the lawswhat to and not to do. Also, get help. There are experts that can assist victims, but it’s important that you know the laws. IWM: What inspires you? SW: My faith. God has placed incredible people in my life. Also I’m inspired by the victimized. They are not bitter or angry. I’ve learned from how they deal with their situation. I am inspired by the victims who stand up and show the world they will not be victimized a second time. I am in awe with the woman who have experienced the worst of mankind and still believes in good of mankind. For every evil case I work on, God puts the most amazing people who teach me so much about life. The stories of victims and how they triumph as children of God inspires me every day.

From the newspaper: Local and state law enforcement authorities coordinated a massive search behind Bobo’s home. Investigators found items that belonged to her, such as a lunch bag and cell phone, but nothing to suggest where she was taken. Authorities do, however, suspect Bobo’s abduction was premeditated. Bobo is described as a white, 5-foot-3-inch female, 110 pounds, with blond hair. She was last seen wearing a pink shirt and light blue jeans. Bobo’s abductor is described as 5-feet-10 inches to 6 feet tall and around 200 pounds. IWM: What’s your favorite bible verse? This is an easy question Roman’s 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” I have such faith in God. This is my God nod.

Adriana Zamot is editor and publisher of Inspired Women Magazine. IWM began as a two page newsletter when she wanted to share with a few friends some of the highlights of Christian conferences that she had attended. She enjoys writing and sharing of the Lordâ€™s goodness and mercy. Her hope is that IWM will inspire, motivate, and encourage other women towards their divine excellence. Most people refer to her as “AZ.” She has a Master Degree in Human Resources Administration and Development. She attends Majestic Life Church in Apopka, FL. You may contact her publisher@ inspiredwomenmagazine.com

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

I will give you an example, working on a missing person case of a 20 year old nursing student taken from her home while she was headed to school two years ago. I met her mother who is a woman of faith at the lowest point of her life. She spends her days searching for her daughter and will never give up. I am amazed at the courage this woman shows even when her family had death threats, she isn’t giving up. I am honored to know this woman who prays for the return of her daughter and praises God. This mom has inspired me to work hard on helping her bring her daughter home.

IWM: What’s next for you? SW: I’m working on a 20-year old taken out of the carport of her home. Holly Bobo was a 20 year old nursing student who was taken from her home on 4-13-2011. I have brought a team of investigator together to work on the case and find clues to her abduction. I would ask for prayers for the family and wisdom to all investigators involved.

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

“You are blessed for believing that the LORD would keep His promise to you.” Luke 1:45 God’s Word ® Translation

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inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

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inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

FITNESS

What is Christian Meditation? by Laurette Willis, Christian Health & Fitness Author, Director of PraiseMoves Fitness Ministry www.PraiseMoves.com

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

Do not be a world conformer. Be a world transformer! As believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, we are not to be conformed, or molded, by the world’s ideas and ways, or by tenets and practices of mystical world religions. God promises that we can be transformed by renewing our minds, and thereby prove God’s perfect will for our lives. Who wouldn’t want that?

HOW DO WE RENEW OUR MINDS—AND WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO IT?

MEDITATION IS GOD’S IDEA. Regarding the righteous man: “But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he MEDITATES day and night” (Psalm 1:2); “When I remember You on my bed, I MEDITATE on You in the night watches” (Psalm 63:6). If meditation is such a biblical practice, why do we often associate it with Eastern mysticism (Hinduism, Buddhism, yoga)? Well, I’m sure we can think of a number of things God created that

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

The Word of God (the Scripture, as found in the Holy Bible) is the only thing that can truly renew your mind and transform your life for the better. Nothing else can do that for you. Nothing. While the world may beg to differ, as believers we do not “leave our minds at the door” once we walk into a church. Quite the contrary! “Come, let us reason together,” the Lord says in Isaiah 1:18. Proverbs 4:7 tells us that “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” He wants us to gain wisdom and understand-

ing by developing our spiritual nature and our mind through focusing and meditating on His Word, His will, and His ways—and then implementing what we’ve learned into our lives.

the enemy of our souls has twisted and perverted to bring people to the feet of false idols.

CHRISTIAN MEDITATION VERSUS EASTERN MYSTICISM Eastern mysticism calls for us to “empty our minds.” Christian meditation calls for a fully engaged, alert mind—focused on the Word of the Living God found in the Holy Bible. Christian Meditation is NOT guided imagery, visualization, out-of-body experiences, subconscious suggestion or mental manipulation. Christian Meditation is NOT Transcendental Meditation, hypnosis or Silva Mind Control. It does not involve chanting, nor reciting mantras or vain, repetitive words.

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Christian Meditation is NOT an altered state of consciousness or “contemplative prayer” (Lectio Divina, “Centering Prayer” or “spiritual formation”) — these are NOT Biblical meditation practices. We do NOT enter a trance-like state.

tures were read audibly during the process of meditation.” In Hebrew, meditation carries with it the unappealing, but descriptive picture of a cow chewing the cud! The idea being that we “chew” the Word, “swallow it,” and then bring it back up to chew it some more throughout our day as new truths and revelations are revealed. Ever hear the expression, “Let me ruminate on that for a while”? To ruminate means to ponder, reflect or meditate on something—it also means “to chew”! Cows are considered “ruminant” animals.

While prayer (talking and listening to God) is a vital part of our relationship with Jesus Christ, MEDITATE DAY OR NIGHT? BOTH! meditation is a bit different — although it does “This Book of the Law shall not depart from involve our relationship with the Holy Spirit, our your mouth, but you shall MEDITATE in it day Teacher and Guide. and night, that you may observe to do according that is written in it. For then you will make LET ME JUST CHEW ON THAT FOR A WHILE toyourallway prosperous, and then you will have good In Hebrew, “haghah” is “to meditate,” which success” (Joshua 1:8); Consider: Meditating on the Word of God means “to murmur; to mutter; to sigh.” When done in the heart, this is considered “musing, or day and night means to speak the Word of God to meditation.” According to Zodhiates’ AMG Com- yourself day and night, and also speak to yourself plete Word Study, “It is possible that the Scrip- about it day and night!

THE OLD ME

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy— MEDITATE on these things” (Philippians 4:7-9).

Before I became a believer in Jesus, I taught yoga classes. At the close of class, I guided people into meditations and visualizations (not inviting them to fill their minds with the Word of God and meditate on His promises, but guiding them to “listen to the sound of my voice and relax” as See also: Psalm 77:6; Psalm 77:12; Psalm I used to say). I used guided imagery to lull them 119:15; Psalm 119:23; Psalm 119:27; Psalm into a false sense of serenity — to go someplace 119:48; Psalm 119:78; Psalm 143:5; “I will else — even meeting their “spirit guide.” These are MEDITATE on the glorious splendor of horrible, demonic practices. I’m grateful the Lord Your majesty, And on Your wondrous works” has forgiven me. (Psalm 145:5); Isaiah 33:17-19; Malachi 3:15When I was a New Ager, I did not point people 17; Luke 21:13-15; and 1 Timothy 4:15. to the peace that the Word of God brings. I knew nothing about it. Instead I used mental manipulation and the soothing quality of my voice to operThese scriptures leave NO question about what we ate my own agenda. I prided myself on it. People are to MEDITATE upon–with a fully engaged, alert were relaxed after my yoga classes. They experi- mind. enced stress relief, but not peace. Since I did not Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! know the Prince of Peace, all I could offer was the emptiness and temporary bandage of “self-help,” not Jesus. Enjoy Laurette’s first Christian Meditation CD

CHRISTIAN MEDITATION IS FOCUSING ON “Soaking in the Psalms.” Laurette is joined by anointed musician John Tussey, winner of AND “SOAKING” IN THE WORD OF GOD

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Take a portion of scripture and “ruminate” on the 2011 Hawaii Music Awards. Learn more it throughout the day. Write it on an index card at www.ChristianMeditation.info . and take it with you to work or school. Go over the passage again and again, savoring it, seeking the wisdom of the Lord in it. Ask the Holy Spirit Christian Fitness Expert Laurette to reveal to you hidden truths and personal apWillis is the Director of PraiseMoves plication. “How can I apply this to my life, Lord?” Fitness Ministry (http://PraiseMoves. We are transformed by renewing our minds com and on Facebook http:// on the Word (NOT “emptying” our mind). Allow facebook.com/PraiseMovesFan). Get your free fitness kit at http:// deep revelation from the Holy Spirit, our Teacher ChristianFitnessKit.com and and Guide, to ignite your heart and mind with the something brand new: www.MIRAdance.com – MIRA! is refreshing intimacy of the Presence and Wisdom Christian Fitness with a Latin Beat! Hallelujah!!! ©2013 of the Lord Jesus Christ — our all in all.

BEAUTY

Are You Ready? by Mia Green

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Summer is just around the corner and I’ve got what you need to make sure that you are chic, beautiful, and ready for fun in the sun!

Must Have Swimwear

Skincare

Use Your Nails as Accessories

Embellish, embellish, embellish! Swimwear with beautiful rhinestones, and assorted embellishments are at the top of the “must have” list for this year’s summer season. Take the dive and sparkle in the sun while your hanging out poolside!

Use this simple recipe to exfoliate dead skin and ensure that your body is barbecue and beach party ready!

Nails have always been a part of completing an ensemble, but this season there has been a huge emphasis on using your nails as accessories. A twist on the classic French Manicure can be done by creating a sideways French, or reverse French design where at the base of the nail there is a half-moon crescent or other design that is bold in color. We’re also seeing a blast from the past with the return of nail jewelry! 14 kt gold charms and appliques placed on top of the nail for a striking, bold look.

¼ cup of coconut oil + ½ cup brown sugar = Soft, Smooth, Radiant Skin. (Note* you can adjust the amount of oil used to create your desired consistency for the scrub.)

Mia Green is a professional makeup artist, and the owner of Les Fleur Cosmetics a makeup studio that specializes in ethnic skin and custom blended cosmetics. For more info you can visit www.lesfleurcosmetics.com

Pink

COLLAR

INK:

Inspiration and Insight for Women’s Work Lives

PINK COLLAR CONNECTIONS by Tammi Ector

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

To say I’m a chatterbox would be an understatement. From Kindergarten on, and with the exception of Math, I was an exem- Clarify Professional and Personal Boundaries plary student. That is if you ignored the U’s Set clear professional boundaries around these I received in Conduct for excessive talking. areas: Unsatisfactory conduct aside, I grew up to be • Your availability – An open door policy a successful career woman. But sometimes I is great, but there are times when it’s wonder what marks I’d receive in this area togood and necessary for your door to be closed. day. Probably more U’s. But hey, I’m all about the strengths based approach and view my lo• Your assistance -Be a team player, but quacious personality as an asset in my role as monitor your own productivity. If it suffers, responding to every request for a Leadership Coach. After all, my job requires help will feel more like “taking one for being out in the field, building relationships the team”. and connecting with the women I coach. Even • Your talents – When working on a so, I do believe I’d carry more career clout if I team project, still attach your name and could get a handle on my workplace chatter therefore credit to your contributions. when I’m in the office. Knowing how wom(This feels contrary to our nature, but en are wired – to connect - I suspect I’m not men have no problem with it- hence alone. So how do we pink collar professionals they often get promoted over women connect without sabotaging our careers? who do a better job).

INSPIRATIONAL INK

complainer or critical can’t be good for your career climb. • Questions that cross the line – These could be about your marriage, children or anything you’d rather not discuss in the workplace. Some will even ask your opinion about the boss or co-workers. It will get back to them. Don’t take the bait! • Set the bar and the tone – If you communicate and conduct yourself in a professional manner with your coworkers, they will follow your lead. Even if they don’t, they’ll more than likely give up with you and find someone else who operates like they do. (Work birds of a feather tend to flock together).

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

• Interruptions – If you don’t manage them, they’ll manage you. Communicate when it’s ok for coworkers to interrupt your work flow, especially when you’re “in the zone” or racing to meet a deadline.

Set clear personal boundaries around these areas: • Comments that verge on inappropriate– These may be about another co-worker or even the boss. Remember: You may not make the comment, but you never know who may hear it and find you guilty by association. Being seen as a gossip, a

• Your time – While burning the candle at both ends may produce desired outcomes, it can also result in burn out. Protect your time, flex it and/ or take time earned as needed to recharge your batteries. You’ll have more to offer your boss and your team when you’re not running on empty.

Compartmentalize Work and Life • Friendliness vs. Friendship – Be friendly but think twice about bearing your soul to your cubicle mate. This is where the old adage “If in doubt, don’t” comes in handy. If someone is seeking your friendship, make sure they are a “safe” work friend who shares not only your work ethic, but your personal values. • Limit the amount of professional info you share – Everyone doesn’t have to know about the increased responsibilities you’ve been given or

about the new opportunity you’ve been offered (i.e. When I was being considered for a promotion, I told no one who could ruin my chances – intentionally or unintentionally. By the time anyone outside the hiring process knew anything, I’d landed the job.) • Limit the amount of personal info you share - What’s said in your office doesn’t always stay there and could come back to harm you. If you’re struggling with something, consider talking about it with someone outside the workplace.

Create Positive Networks of Support

• Social Networking – Take advantage of this by connecting with people with whom you’d not have the opportunity to otherwise (i.e. via LinkedIn). A word to the wise: Don’t get caught in the “net”. Use social media appropriately or it can kill your career.

Control Conversations and Curb Chatter • Do look for opportunities to hold meaningful conversations - Talk with supervisors and department heads and find out how you can help them/the department to shine.

• Recognize Supporters - Maximize professional relationships that provide support. These are the people it’s safe to go to when you’re having difficulty at work or need to vent in a healthy way. They should share your work ethic and want you to succeed. • Recognize Saboteurs - Minimize professional relationships that undermine support. These are the ones you need to watch. You know the type who smile in your face and talk behind your back. They are notorious for throwing others under the bus and don’t care who they step on to get to the top. Beware!

• Surround yourself with successful, professional people – These are people who are already where you want to go career wise. Often they are smarter and savvier than you. That’s a good thing. Learn from them.

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Cultivate Professional Relationships

Connect Others to Christ Above all, always bear in mind that we have been given the ministry of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18-21). While in the workplace, we are to be His ambassadors. Our work message should cause those around us to feel His appeal through us. That appeal is that they be reconciled

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Now that’s making the most of our pink collar connections.

• Don’t engage in meaningless chatter Excessive, lengthy visits with coworkers should be kept to a bare minimum. It’s ok to ask what they did for the weekend, but not to entertain a blow by blow.

Tammi Ector Fisse is a writer, speaker and singer who is passionate about sharing stories for God’s glory. As a domestic violence survivor, Tammi’s own story contains a great deal of hurt, but it is also full of healing and hope. God not only transformed her from a victim into a victor through Christ, He turned her trials into her testimony. Though this process was painful and sometimes still is, Tammi longs to encourage other women, whatever their circumstances, by sharing in the “comfort wherewith she is comforted” (I Cor. 1:3-4). She also seeks to educate others about domestic abuse. Tammi is currently working on her first novel. To schedule Tammi to speak or sing, please contact her at tectorfisse@hotmail.com. You may also visit her blog “True Confessions of A Christian Girl” at trulytammi. blogspot.com .

Confessions of a Mother

by Lori Hatcher

For a long time, motherhood held no appeal to me.

“What if I don’t love my child?” daughter, I gathered up enough courage to ask a seasoned mother of five the question that haunted my nights and nipped at the edges of my days. “What if I don’t love my child?”

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Growing up in the ‘70s didn’t help. Listening to Helen Reddy sing “I Am Woman,” eagerly embracing the Women’s Liberation movement, and calculating the earliest date I could run for presidential office, I assumed I was destined for greater things. As a selfish teenager, I remember noticing that my mom wore the same winter coat year after year. Inevitably either I or one of my sisters had outgrown last year’s coat and needed a new one, so when the time came to shop, Mom unselfishly put us first. I instinctively knew moms were supposed to sacrifice and decided if motherhood meant doing without, I never wanted to be a mom. Even after I became a believer and be-

gan to glimpse the high calling of motherhood, I had serious doubts about my own ability to be a good mother. As a teenager, I had hated babysitting, had no desire to hold others’ children, and would rather clean bathrooms than serve in the church nursery. I feared I was without natural affection. When I became pregnant with our first

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“Oh, honey,” she responded with a reassuring Author Elizabeth Stone describes motherpat, “God wouldn’t give you a baby without giving hood this way: “Making the decision to have a you a love for it.” child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have Her words were wise and true. When I held your heart go walking around outside your body.” my daughter for the first time, I knew instantly I wonder if this is the way God feels about me. that not only did I love her, I would die for her. As you take time this month to honor women God knew I would need extra fortification for who have mothered you, related or unrelated, I the months of colic, sleep problems, and separa- encourage you to embrace God’s view of the high tion anxiety that followed. My second daughter calling of motherhood. Two thousand years ago, had chronic ear infections He thought so much of As I matured maternally for the first nine months one young mother that and spiritually, God began of her life. On nights when He entrusted His only to show me a parallel she was particularly fretSon into her care. between my relationship ful, my husband would “But the angel said awaken to discover me with my daughters and His to her, “Do not be afraid, missing and the baby gone Mary, you have found farelationship with me. from her crib. He would vor with God. You will be find us in the rocking chair—my daughter sleeping with child and give birth to a son, and you are to peacefully on my chest and me with silent tears of give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will exhaustion rolling down my cheeks. While I didn’t be called the Son of the Most High” (Luke 1:30-32). enjoy those nights, being able to alleviate her pain Happy Mother’s Day. made them worth the dark circles under my eyes and the crick in my neck. Sacrifice was what mothers did, and I was a mother now. Lori Hatcher, Editor As I matured maternally and spiritually, God Reach Out, Columbia magazine began to show me a parallel between my relationAuthor of Joy in the Journey ship with my daughters and His relationship with ~ Encouragement for me. As I experienced unconditional love for my Homeschooling Moms and the blog Be Not Weary www. children, I began to understand God’s uncondilorihatcher.com tional love for me. As I protected my daughters from harm, trained them to make good decisions, A transplant from Bristol, Rhode Island, Lori has lived in and provided for their needs, I got glimpses of Columbia for 32 years. She is the author of Joy in the Journey how God wanted to protect, train, and provide for — Words of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms, me. As my relationship with my daughters grew, due out in early 2012 and available on Mardel.com. A I sensed how much pleasure God experienced as contributing writer to South Carolina’s Reach Out Columbia my relationship with Him grew. magazine and The Mother’s Heart Magazine. Lori has been When my daughters disobeyed me, and I published on Christian Devotions and the WOW (Writing on struggled with disappointment, hurt, and the the Word) blog and is a featured blogger for Inspired Women frustration of trying to convey to them that rules Magazine. She has feature articles pending publication in were there to make their lives richer, not spoil P31 Woman, Inspired Women Magazine and At the Shelter their fun, I’d hear God’s voice whispering the Magazine. She loves reading, writing, and walking with her same words to me. dog Winston.

Finding God in Chaos by Nina Hilger After five years, you think my brother and sister would have made more of an attempt to come and see their nephew. I’ve had emergencies where I really needed them to come over and help with my young son. I thought family is there for you when you most need them. My mother would have freaked out on them for being so snotty towards me and my son. Carmen could have helped us so much by just living with us. I didn’t expect her to pay for anything. Just to have someone extra in the house to watch my son would have taken a load off my shoulders. This has been a wonderful growing experience for me in a way that I never thought possible. In my worst, most challenging moments, when people are not there for me, that’s when I feel the most alone. When people let me down and don’t follow through with promises they have made, what will happen to them? God will be the judge.

that I’ve been working with. In order to receive the gifts of God the heart must be pure and gentle. Jesus is a great example. So I’ve opted to gracefully move through the torrential times with the love of God in my heart. Without love how else will I be able to overcome the fury of anger? I’ve learned not to make decisions while I am emotional. Not just angry, but emotional.

It‘s been tough to get a handle on forgiveness of those who have let me down. But when I hear old stories from the bible, I realize I’m not alone, even though I truly feel like it some days. During these past few months I have learned the value of forgiving others, as well as asking for forgiveness My life needs a plan and now I trust in God. Every and then forgiving myself. That is the magic three day I surrender everything over. All I start with,

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

Anger had a tight hold on me. It clouded my thoughts so I couldn’t see the glory of God all around me. In the worst situations there is a peaceful moment in surrendering fear over to God. In church I have heard repeat stories of how Jesus’ own disciples were not there for him when he was being crucified. The people he had helped through the years, forsake him in his time of need. What did he do? He forgave them and died for them.

When choosing not to sin in anger, a whole new world of Grace unfolds within my heart.

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is a desire, how it comes about, is up to God. How do we stay focused when the world seems to be spinning out of control? Sometimes the answers will come from the lips of those you least expect it. But it will come.

with a gentle and pure heart. That only happen through the pain of change. Even though all these unfortunate events happened, there was an underlying Grace filling each day. In the summer of 2011 I had become interested in church again. Love will come when the heart is open. To forgive, ask to be forgiven and forgive oneself is very difficult in the worst situations. And I find I have to do it on a daily basis, especially in trying times.

It’s through the pain we learn to forgive and rise above the fear that holds us back from seizing the day. Fear will kill us before anything else will. And its troublesome brother, anger, will wreak havoc in your life like never before. They cloud the mind and heart so the light of God cannot bring peace to you. A friend suggested I reconnect with God. Then I learned how to not only forgive people and forgive It’s easy to cut people out of your life when myself, but also ask forgiveness in the situation. emotions run high. It’s tough to forgive and rise It seems so trivial and yet so difficult to do. How above the lesson and learn something. But that is often do we ask for forgiveness? This is the key I exactly what we are here for, to learn something. had been looking for to move past the fear and That something is love, and the stories about Jesus pain so that I can continue my journey as a cowill show you how much love he had in his heart, worker for God. especially for those you would least expect it. Just recently I was reminded about the verse “In What did I learn from my brother and sister? Who anger do not sin” and I am seeing further into are not available for me? It all amounts to love. I’m these painful experiences where I can recognize learning about love through the changes I need to that God is at work here. When choosing not to make in my life. It is with God that this is possible. sin in anger, a whole new world of grace unfolds within my heart. Then forgiveness can wash away So while my brother and sister were not available the situation, and start a brand new day. to us, my spouse decided to take a position out west. Abandoned with a five year old, my heart “In anger do not sin” Ephesians 4:26 began to break further. Only with the Grace of God was I able to focus on the forgiving necessary Nina Hilger is mother to a six year to move forward through the paralyzing pain. That forgiveness is so important. Not what transpired. That forgiveness opened my heart to the love of God. The gifts of God come to those

old. She studied music and has a passion for performing music to uplift hearts.

in·spire (n-spr) v. in·spired, in·spir·ing, in·spires ~ To affect, guide, or arouse by divine influence. inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

~To fill with enlivening or exalting emotion: ~ To stimulate to action; motivate ~ To affect or touch ~ To breathe on. ~ To breathe life into

My Love Story by Rebecca Byrd

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

“And they lived happily ever after…”

That usually goes at the end of a story, but I like it at the beginning of mine. I feel that I am living in the happily ever after and have been since I met the love of my life on June 2, 2012. My story begins when I was little. I was surrounded by men who didn’t know how to be real men. There was a lot of perversion that surrounded me. I decided at a young age that I didn’t want to be pretty because I didn’t want attention from men. The only attention I knew from men was perverted. As I got a little older I began to get more girly, but I still had a wrong idea of men and relationships. When I was 30, I kicked out my boyfriend of 3 years, and a few weeks later I went to a Wednesday night church

going to be, even if it meant I would be single forever. Psalms 84:11 “No good thing will the Lord withhold from those who do what is right!” God is not keeping good things from me!!! I had to tell myself this over and over again. January of 2012 I decided to join Match. com. I figured it wouldn’t hurt, and I could maybe have some fun and eat some good food. I was very honest on my profile page about being a strong, righteous, Spirit-filled, Godly woman. I put on my profile what I was looking for, but really it was pretty simple. There are two things my pastor said to look for in a

mate. First, is he saved? Is he a strong, righteous, spirit-filled, godly man? Can he lead you and your family in your spiritual walk? Will he pray over you and for you and fight for you and with you when the battles come? Because they will come! Second, does he have a job? Are his finances in order? Can he protect and provide for you and your family? Does he have a financial plan for the future?

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service where people got up and said what they were thankful for. I realized that night that I needed Jesus, and I needed the joy that these people had. For 15 years God has shown me that my worth and value come from Him. God began to heal me, and I began to appreciate being a woman. During this time it was like God had me in a bubble where romance was concerned. I was not asked out by anyone. About 2 years later a friend of mine came up to me after a Wednesday night service and told me that she felt God told her to buy my wedding dress. I said, “Whoo hoo!! I’m getting married!!” I had no idea it wouldn’t come to pass for 13 years. Through the years God gave me a word here and there to let me know He still had a plan and that He intended to see it come to pass. The words I received were things like, “God is restoring things from my past,” and, “He is doing a heart thing.” It was just enough to keep me believing that God had a plan. I had to realize that I was single because that was God’s will for me at that time. That’s it! There was nothing wrong with me. It was not because I was too old, too young, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too quiet, too loud, too simple, too demanding, high maintenance, low maintenance or anything else. We see these types of women getting married all the time. It was not because of past failures or sin tendencies. It was not because there are more women than men. It was not that we have to be content before we will find someone. I was single because that was where God had me. I needed to live my life and be happy for however long it was

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

It is so important not to let fear of being alone out. Man, was I nervous. I hadn’t been nervous compromise your standards when looking for about a date in a while, but I knew we had a lot a mate. It is better to be alone than with the in common. I got to the restaurant first, and wrong person. they sat me at a table at the top of the stairs. During this time I found out about a book He told me later that when he was walking titled, “How To Get A Date Worth Keeping” upstairs he saw my blonde hair, then my blue by Dr. Henry Cloud. WOW! What an eye toenails and beautiful feet, then my blue eyes opener this book was for me. It really changed and he said to himself, “Oh, it’s you!” We hit the way I thought and the way I was taught it off right away. My nerves went away as soon about dating. as I saw him. It was “To all you silly men out It wasn’t long after so natural. That’s the there... If you want a serious I read this book that I best way I can desent a “wink” to Hotscribe it. We went relationship with someone wrench64. He was a to the Bay Bridge you should say something, saved man with a job Fest, and on the way do something, make an and was very handback he asked if I’d impression and then keep it some. He emailed like to stop on the up. Women love to be swept me back, and we sent beach and watch the off their feet. We love a true emails back and forth sun set. I said “sure,” love. But if you’re going to hide a few times. I asked to but in my mind I be Facebook friends, and wait to see what happens, was like, “Who are (I feel you can learn a you and what planyou’re going to miss it.” lot about people from et did you just fall the pictures they post and their status updates). from?!?!” He asked me lots of questions and I suggested we meet for lunch or dinner. He said said lots of things that totally shocked me. It he would get back with me once he checked his was like I was talking, but it was him. We had schedule. Well he didn’t get back with me and so so much in common! It was like he was in I thought, “Well, there goes another one!” About my mind; he was like a male version of me… three weeks later I had re-posted something on crazy! By the end of the date we both knew my Facebook page that a friend had posted: that we had found something special. He told “To all you silly men out there... If you me, “I had a REALLY good time and I REALwant a serious relationship with someone you LY want to see you again!” Of course I said I should say something, do something, make an would love that, and the whirlwind romance impression and then keep it up. Women love had begun. to be swept off their feet. We love a true love. He has gone through two divorces and he But if you’re going to hide and wait to see what told me later that he was tired of dating and happens, you’re going to miss it.” that I was his last resort. If it didn’t work out Well, I got a notification that Randy Byrd with me he was done with dating. So this was “liked” my status. I thought to myself, “Hmm, a breath of fresh air for both of us. He has sent I wonder what that is about?!” me a text of a flower and said, “Good morning He called me a few days later and asked me Princess,” or “good morning Beautiful” every

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day since then. He had no idea that God had shown me I was a princess when I was going through my 15 years of healing process. Lots of little things like that gave me the revelation that this was the man for me. These coincidences just kept mounting as the courtship continued. He is the most romantic, manly man I have ever met. Since he lived and worked in Mobile, we only got together on the weekends. I introduced him to all my friends and my family that are local, and everyone approved. There were no red flags from anyone. On September 21st, my 45th birthday, at about 11:45 p.m. he said, “Rebecca will you marry me? I promise to love you forever.” He was so nervous and almost didn’t do it because he didn’t have the ring yet. I am so glad he didn’t wait. It was the sweetest proposal ever!! We set the date for December 8, 2012. He continued to woo me and awe me with his words and deeds. When I look into his eyes

it takes my breath away. Just thinking about him gives me butterflies! He brings me flowers and makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world. As time went on, the weekends couldn’t come around fast enough, and it got harder and harder for him to go. He would pray for us to do things right and that he would be the man I needed. I had never had a relationship in which a man prayed. It was such an amazing thing. God had truly heard my heart’s cry. He was doing or saying things I had never even prayed for but had just thought about. I was so thankful that I had waited on God. There were men over the years who I could have pushed or manipulated into making something happen, but I am so thankful that I didn’t. I couldn’t wait to be Mrs. Braxton Randall Byrd. I couldn’t wait to cook for him and clean for him and do all the wifely duties! I had waited so long to be someone’s wife, and all I wanted to do was make him as happy as he made me. My wedding day was the most amazing day! I had family come from Illinois, Indiana, and Florida. There were so many people there who had walked with me and prayed with me through my season of singleness, and now they were able to share in the beginning of a new season of my life. He took me to a cabin in the mountains of Tennessee for our honeymoon, which is what I have always wanted, and it was perfect! I had no idea I could feel love like this. Randy is above and beyond anything I could ask for or think of. He continues to amaze me by how he treats me and the words he speaks to me. We talk about everything. We truly are best friends. I feel like I have known him forever. He is my Mr. Wonderful and I thank God every day for giving me this amazing man!

Mother’s Day Write a Thankful List

inspired women magazine MAY / JUNE 2013

by Corallie Buchanan

it. I know it is supposed to be a special day. I am even a mother myself. I’m supposed to be When I think of mother’s day, my heart gets a little celebrating the awesomeness of motherhood, jolt. For me, it is both a time of celebration, and but right now I just want to crawl under a rock a time of loss. My relationship with my mother and forget the day ever existed. has always had its unspoken problems, but last year it took a turn for the worst. I challenged I think I’m safe to assume that some of our my mother on some issues in our relationship readers are also feeling the same way. For you, that had been plaguing me for many years. As a mother’s day is a painful experience. I can’t result, my relationship with her is now virtually tell you how to make your own mother’s day non-existent. Mother’s day is now a very painful experience less painful, because I don’t know reminder of what I now realize I never had; your particular set of circumstances. All I can unconditional and unyielding love from one of do is share how, with God’s help, I have managed the most important relationships in my life. to find something to be grateful for. So when I was asked to write an article about mother’s day, I found myself really struggling. What am I supposed to write? I don’t even want to think about mother’s day, let alone write about

Rather than focusing on what has been taken away, I aim to invest that energy into thinking about the positives. The Bible says to be thankful in all circumstances, because this is God’s will

I’m making my own list, because I know how hard it is going to be to maintain a positive attitude. I am a mother to the most beautiful daughter

What is on your list? Make one today…

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in all of God’s creation. for us (1 Thessalonians 5:18). So why Esther is almost two do we not follow God’s will for our lives and years old, and absolutely find something to be thankful for on Mother’s full of life. I thank God every day Day. If you have nothing else, be thankful that for her zest for living, and the love she has for you are alive and able to read the words before everybody she meets. I am thankful that I live you. in a beautiful house, that is clean (well, some of the time) and safe. I have a loving husband who May I suggest that when you first wake up on provides for me and is understanding (as much Mother’s Day, make a list of all the things you are as human beings can be) of my struggles. I have grateful for. Then carry that list around with you a group of motherly ladies at church who love all day, and when you are tempted to feel sorry and encourage me. I have a wonderful mentor/ for yourself, pull that list out. Try rehearsing mother figure from whom I have learned many a few of those things on your “thankful list”, things. Most of all, I am alive and healthy, and instead of the negative nonsense that is probably have a Saviour who has saved me from eternal running a train through your mind. punishment.

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