Autism Moms Are Beautiful Fall 2020 Issue

AMAB

OCTOBER-DECEMBER 2020

ISSUE #12

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL

ritny b e celditio e

SYLEENA JOHNSON JOHNSON

AMAB Editor-in-Chief  Nichole Wilson

Lead Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Creative Director Managing Editor Style Editor

Haley Ahart-Keiffer Donna Shatara Porche Maria Merrick Marta Brain Jean TenBrink Quincy Cole Nichole Wilson Sindu Alakot Nichole Wilson

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL

P.O. Box 841428 Pearland, Texas 77584 amabmagazine@gmail.com Autism Moms please join the Private Facebook Group: Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson https://www.facebook.com/groups/autismmomsarebeautiful/ AMAB Magazine, Autism Moms Are Beautiful Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/amabmagazine/ Follow us on IG: @autism_moms_are_beautiful amabmagazine@gmail.com www.amabmagazine.com ADVERTISING INQUIRIES PLEASE EMAIL AMABMAGAZINE@GMAIL.COM

SYLEENA JOHNSON PHOTO CREDIT: TONY TYUS PHOTOGRAPHY

TABLE OF CONTENTS 04

Editor's Note Nichole Wilson Founder

19 Jess Wessel-Borgic A Moment with Jess Autistic Mama

23

Zalyn's Boulevard Beauty & Fashion Segment

32

Confessions of an Autism Mom

07

Dominique Hammons The Power is in the Violin

20

BreAnn Robinson Autism Challenges & Purpose

27

Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. Autism Dad's Rock

33

Maria Merrick I Sued My Autistic Son

39

Gayle Fisher What does "Desiderata" say about a graphing calculator?

13

Syleena Johnson Family is Everything

22

Decaf Segment Let it Out Autism Moms

31

Marta Brain A Moment with Marta Autistic Mama

37

Renee Graziano Positive Mindset

Editor's Note

Photo and MUA: Marc Harvey Our Fall 2020 issue is all about music and the arts! Our goal is to inspire all of our readers and motivate them to do what makes them happy and never give up on their dreams. We at Autism Moms Are Beautiful are thankful for your emails on what you would like to see and read in our Magazine. We are excited to have Autism Mom, Syleena Johnson grace the cover and share her love with us. Autism Moms and Dads are filled with so much talent and love. We want them to share their gifts with the world. Sharing the expressions of Autism Moms and Dads, while guided with love, brings happiness to everyone here at AMAB. We must continue to stay strong for our little ones. By doing this, we let everyone know that Autism Moms Are Beautiful and we Rock the Universe!

Nichole Wilson

VIGOROUS

MODEL: GISET KING PHOTOCREDIT: POINT AND CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY

"There is in every child at every stage a new miracle of vigorous unfolding, which constitutes a new hope and a new responsibility for all." ~ Erik Erikison

Micetyro Music www.micetyromusic.com micetyromusic@gmail.com MicetyroMusic is a professional audio and live streaming recording facility located near Downtown Houston. MicetyroMusic was founded in 2011 by Quincy Cole as an Independent Record Label Specializing in Urban Alternative Music: Funk/R&B/Soul/Inspiration/Jazz Genres/Blues/HipHip/Rap The mission is to provide endorsements for local artists and create sounds that will transcend generations while remaining current. The vision is to provide a vehicle for independent artists to "Master the Arts With Class".

Micetyro Music believes in influencing the music community while creating timeless music, educate aspiring musicians and deliver breath-taking performances.

The Power is in the

Dominique Hammons Photo Credit: Tirsa Bear @TirsaBear Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

Violin

Growing up, I always found music to be my escape. I especially enjoyed listening to artists who played instruments such as the piano and violin. The music that resonated from these magical pieces of art always seemed to bring me to a sense of peace. I remember watching Dominique play at Micetyro Music and my heart just melted. I was so excited to speak with him about interviewing for our magazine. He is a phenomenal artist who leaves a trail of love wherever he performs.

Nichole Wilson: Out of all the instruments you chose the violin.

What sparked this feeling?

Dominique Hammons: The reason why I decided to pursue the violin instead of any other instrument is because I knew it would be more of a challenge, and it would also allow me to be different. It's something I never dreamed of playing, so I knew I should give it a shot. Plus, the violin is one of the hardest instruments to learn, so that motivated me to accept the challenge.

NW: What is your most memorable performance?

DH: My most memorable performance was when I performed a halftime show at the New Orleans Pelicans NBA game. I played two New Orleans hip hop anthems, including "Choppa Style" and "Still Fly". I was on the basketball court performing solo in front of over 10,000 people. That was the most I've ever performed in front of.

As I was playing, I could hear nothing but roars and chants; I knew that they were really engaged in my performance. After I finished playing the last note, I received a standing ovation, and that was the most memorable moment; seeing over 10,000 people clapping and screaming made me very emotional. I even received many responses to it being one of the best halftime performances ever done at that stadium. That is definitely an experience that would be with me forever.

Everyone needs that push during their journey. You never want to give up on your dreams, because you don't want to leave yourself with the question, "What if?"

https://dominiquehammons.com/? fbclid=IwAR1rAkYDDeOVl9th4hvli7eiyi28YQU2DEo7PFlDco3PLrCzJv2m2BtXgA

NW: When you are feeling down and in need of something or someone to motivate you, what do you do?

DH: When I am down and in need of motivation, I always go to music. Music has always been a type of therapy for me during my life. I know that music is something I could always count on whenever I'm down. Music usually takes me out of reality and puts me in a whole other dimension. Every time I pick up my violin, it gives me something that most things in life can't give me. It gives me a sense of security and comfort to where I have no worries about anything.

NW: If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?

DH: If I could be anywhere right now, it would be New York City, due to the fact that I've never been. I've heard so many great things about New York City pertaining to the music industry. It's always been a goal to visit New York City and network with other artists because I feel like it would catapult my career to a different level. I've also wanted to experience the city, because I love a variety of different cultures, which I know New York City is the mecca for multiple cultures.

NW: Please give some encouraging words to our Autism Moms and Dads to continue pursuing their dreams and never give up?

DH: While playing the violin, I used to always get many adults tell me how they wished they would've stuck to playing the violin when they were young. After seeing me perform, it reminds them of what they could have possibly had if they kept playing the violin.

The first thing I tell them is that it is never too late to pick it back up. I also believe that whatever you do in life, you have to make sure you love it. If you don't love what you do, you will never be able to live life to its fullest. If you have dreams, go get it. If you have kids that have dreams, invest in them and push them.

Everyone needs that push during their journey. You never want to give up on your dreams, because you don't want to leave yourself with the question, "What If?"

The WithMerci Foundation provides advocate services and support to families of children with disabilities and special needs.

https://www.withmerci.org

FLASHBACK: Fall 2019 Issue!

Thank you Whitney Mercilus

AUTISM MOM Autism Moms Are Beautiful

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt

BY NICHOLE WILSON

Everything Family is

SYLEENA JOHNSON

Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson Photo Credit: Jordan Viision Photography

When I created AMAB Magazine, I made a list of beautiful women I wanted to grace the cover and interview with me. That list is pretty long. Syleena Johnson is the first name on the list.

Following her page brings a certain soothing feeling of love and realness all wrapped up into one. I used my strength through prayer and affirmations to ask her if she would do me the honor of gracing my cover and interviewing with me….she said yes. While interviewing Syleena, her spirit was so warm, genuine and welcoming. She is truly a beautiful woman inside and out. I am thankful to share her love with our readers.

Nichole Wilson: When did you notice your child was different or exhibiting Unique abilities?

Syleena Johnson: Kingston was around two years old when I noticed but I had a feeling when he was around 12 months because he stopped eating vegetables. I didn't think anything of it because I was not familiar with Autism.

Then as time went on I noticed he was not talking. Between both of my sons I noticed there was a difference. I even noticed he was walking on his tippy toes but again I didn’t think Autism. I took him to Marcus Institute in Georgia and it was too young for us to tell. I was informed that you have to be four years old in order to receive a diagnosis. They felt he was not showing any signs because his receptive skills were really high and they expressed that some kids don’t speak but in my heart I knew it was something. I believe after my son received his 12 month vaccination was when the changes started to take place.

NW: What is/was one of your favorite moments with your child on the spectrum?

SJ: We go to the movies together.

I would make him go and as his mother I would suffer, I just wanted him to go. Some movies he was not mature enough for but I didn’t care, I wanted him to go to the movies with me. He was a growing boy and most people didn't know he was on the spectrum until they spoke with him. He was going through therapy which was a great thing.

You didn’t know he was on the spectrum until you had a conversation with him.

.

NW: As an Autism Mom, and you need that me time, what do you do?

SJ: For my “me time� I take baths to relax. I pour epsom salt in my bath water, with candles and be at peace with myself. I like to chill. I am okay with watching a movie by myself. When I watch a movie with my baby I always enjoy it too. We would watch movies together and I remember when he was nine years old he was a sensory baby and so touchy! He is very affectionate and tells me he loves me all the time.

Photo Credit: Jordan Viision Photography

I love being around my kids but when I need my peace, my husband and I do movie nights. We actually like to go during the day and fall asleep. The movies here are dinner and a movie all in one. The kids move around all day. When we can get away, we take it. My husband is really hands on. The good news is my sons are daddies boys. My husband and I are best friends and we like all the same things.

NW: Please tell us the inspiration behind your latest album, "Woman"?

SJ: “Woman”..Inspiration behind it to highlight how women are being disrespected in this country and the whistle is being blown on that. We are sick of the sexual abuse and the fact that we have to deal with so much disrespect. I feel there is a lack of communication. My album is the voice of one woman and many women. We do the same thing in the morning, your job, my job. This does not separate us.

When we wake up we share the same difficulties and dilemmas because it’s all relative, cohesive and the voice of many different women to bridge the gap and the lack of communication between men and women.

NW: What inspiration or encouraging words can you give parents raising children on the Autism Spectrum?

SJ: One thing that gets me through the day is that my child is not different but special. Kingston is my child and everyone is not like him. This is the beauty of Autistic children as none of them are the same. They are special, they are catered towards being angels. I want Autism parents to know that God chose you as the caregivers of these angels here on earth. They are angels. During those times that it is hard and tough we must stay positive and along with those behaviors we must handle them right by putting them in the right situation to fly or grow. God has given us strength with our children.

Don’t beat yourself up about it and rely on God. Do what you can do to take care of your child. Spend time with your child because they know and can feel your love.

WOMAN ALBUM IS OUT NOW!! https://www.syleenamusic.com/

Photo Credit: Tony Tyus Photography

Maxwell's House Of Abilities is a Nonprofit 501(c)3. Our mission is to support those on the Autism spectrum and their families by offering and or finding funding for services such as Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, ABA Therapy and childcare for those with ASD. Our goal is to ultimately alter the perception of those on the Autism spectrum in our community, by helping them shine the light on their abilities, while simultaneously dimming the light on their disabilities. We also offer a classroom environments catered to the individual learning needs of those that come to our center. Along with offering life skills to help them feel fulfilled and have a sense of purpose to thrive in life.

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AMBITIOUS

MODEL: KIESHA GONZALES-CARR PHOTO CREDIT: POINT AND CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY

“The desire to reach for the stars is ambitious. The desire to reach hearts is wise.” ― Maya Angelou

A moment with jess fabulous autistic mama This new normal has me feeling a little crazy over here. I hope everyone is doing well and life is good. I want to share with you five things that have helped me through this new normal and one thing that makes everything better. #1. Music is everything. There is a song for every moment and every mood. Music helps me through the meltdowns, the siblings baking moments and the endless house chores. #2. Stay active in order to keep my mind and body feeling good. #3. Stocking up on chocolate. Comfort food, calms the soul filled with magnesium that is so relaxing! #4. Pamper myself with a bubble bath, with candles and a glass of wine. Especially after a crazy day. #5. Laughter, laughter, laughter...Playing Fortnite with my Mom’s friends is the best therapy I could ask for with all I am going through to make the days a lot easier.

I’m sure you are wondering what is the one thing that makes everything better...it is HUGS and when my children say “I LOVE YOU MOM”.

Jess Wessel-Borgic

Autism: Challenges & Purpose By: BreAnn Robinson

BreAnn & Lewis Many people always ask me, “is it hard raising your sons by yourself"? The answer is no; it’s not hard but it is CHALLENGING. I am a single mother of two black sons. One is twice exceptional meaning he has a disability (dyslexia and dysgraphia), but he is also gifted. My other son has Autism, ADHD, GAD, Dyslexia and a host of other disabilities.

Being a single mother and caring for children with disabilities especially Autism has its pros and cons. Some of the pros is that I get to meet other amazing autism moms in support groups.

I always get to have a celebration when my son meets a milestone.

He was delayed and I have a person that loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me all day. The cons are having to constantly explain my son’s disability because “he doesn’t look autistic”. What the hell does that mean???

Another is the daily meltdowns, microaggressions and remembering not to talk in analogies, puns, idioms, metaphors or similes. My son Lewis is a literal child, does not care to get to know others unless you have something in common with him. He hates sharing, and loves talking about animals specifically German Shepherd dogs.

As an Autism mom and sibling there has been and will continue to be challenges everyday. I have dealt with every emotion known to man when I first got the diagnosis of Autism for Lewis. I just didn’t understand. I was a newly divorced mother, in college and working full time. I was angry with God, but it wasn’t until I discovered yoga that I began to understand my purpose. I begin to notice that the simple things in life that many neurotypical people can accomplish can be a challenge for a child with Autism. I learned that as a single mother, I had to protect my son at all costs. I learned that NO MATTER WHAT I had to be there. I fear that because he is black and Autistic, people in certain positions; teachers, police officers, firefighters, etc.) will misunderstand him all because of how he looks and doesn’t look. We have already experienced racism, police harassment, some teachers making their own speculations, mean children and adults. It hurts my heart for him to have to experience this as early as the age of three and nonverbal.

He went from a kid that wanted to be a police officer so he can get the German Shepherd dog, to being scared, terrified and hating the police.

In 2017, is when I truly understood that being a single mother and trying to work a corporate job and having a child with Autism was no longer working for me. My son was in kindergarten and was on the verge of getting expelled. I had gotten reprimanded for leaving my job to go pick up my son because they couldn’t find someone to cover for me. The next week, I retired from Publix.

Since 2012, my son with autism has been working with me, in college with me, hiding under my desk at work without my supervision knowing because I couldn’t find adequate care for him. So many emotions come with being a single mom of black children on the autism spectrum because others want to just say “he’s bad, you need to whip him, you are not disciplining him correctly". All that was crazy sounding and nonsense to me.

Until the age of six my son could not even talk.

Now he is ten and sometimes he won’t stop talking; especially about subjects he loves. I've come to terms that people will not define who my son is. We both will define who he is now and who he will become.

Currently, his team at school always say “Ms. Robinson, even though you do this alone, Lewis could not have gotten a better mother.” My sons have pushed me to be better and to get involved deeper within my community and help other single mothers understand their defined purpose. One thing that helps me defeat every challenge that comes my way is practicing yoga with my sons. Yoga and Autism goes great together! Yoga helps to improve strength and flexibility, and an increasing sense of peace—Lewis has even experienced a reduction of anxiety, aggression, obsessive behaviors, and self-stimulatory activities. There is more good news. Both of my sons are having greater success making new friends and regulating emotions.

For me it has led to more clarity, understanding and keeping peace within. If I can give two pieces of advice to all single mothers is to always believe that your child can, protect him/her and provide opportunities for success. Never give up or give in and fight till the end.

THE DECAF SEGMENT flashback

ARE YOU SURE HE/SHE IS AUTISTIC? Let it out Autism Moms

How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this?

This is how we really want to respond:

I always answer with "no, we just like to take them to therapies and spend all this money every month on their diets." Oh and I always say it with a smile.

I shook the magic 8 ball, turned it over and it said "yes, definitely" so that's all I needed.

Is fat meat greasy? Is a pig's p*$$* pork?

It's the way we parted his hair...

Yeah that's why I love running out of the store crying with my son.

AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL

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Autism

Don

Miguel Ruiz Jr.

Dad's Rock

Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson

Miguel Ruiz Jr. is an Autism Dad who Rocks! He has written some phenomenal books. I was going through a difficult time last year and was thankful for his book, "The Mastery of Self". This book is the epitome of love and compassion. Anyone who reads from it is going to be left with an innate sense of peace and acceptance. I am excited to share this interview with all of our AMAB supporters.

Nichole Wilson: How old was Alejandro when you recognized he was unique?

Miguel Ruiz Jr.: A few months before his second birthday. When we began to see a distant look in his eyes, running around in circles with an incredible amount of energy, repetitive behaviors, banging his head in the crib, meltdowns, sensitivity to certain noises, lining things in order and in sequence, among other things.

NW: How did you feel when your child was diagnosed with Autism?

MRJ: I felt depressed, something similar to mourning the loss of a beloved. The future was gray, and I felt helpless because I didn’t know what I was doing. All I had was the little information and stereotypes that were available to us in the mid 2000’s.

NW: How do you and your wife find the balance?

MRJ: I see it as “all hands on deck!”, we work as a team. We balance each other by listening to one another, being considerate of one another, and we do our best not to project onto each other any frustration or assumptions. Giving each other the common courtesy to process things in our own unique way is incredibly important, but our love for one another is what gives us strength. It is so easy to forget about each other, just like forgetting any other member in the family when we are so focused on our Son. So holding space for one another is based on the

“Without awareness, our domestication and attachments blur our perception. Recognizing both allows us to clear the fog and see the truth of the present moment.”

― Miguel Ruiz Jr., The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom

love we have for each another. If she cooks a meal, I wash the dishes. If I do better at night, I will take care of him during the night if he needs help. If she is better with the doctor, then she will help him then if he needs help. We find our strengths and we help each other from those positions of strength. I am not Superman, but I will do my best every moment of our relationship.

NW: How has your child inspired you?

MRJ: The depression I mentioned earlier only lasted a week, though it creeps up here and there in certain thresholds and milestones of his life, but Alejandro keeps taking me out of it. At the end of that week, I was sitting on a sofa, still reeling from the diagnosis, when all of a sudden, Alejandro walked up to me, put his hands on my knees, looked straight into my eyes and smiled. It was as if I could breathe again when I saw him do that. I awoke from my stupor. “What am I doing? Why am I sitting here feeling as if my Son had died? Here he is, looking into my eyes, unprompted! He is alive!” That’s when I realized that I was mourning an attached image I had of who my Son is supposed to be, and that was blinding me. “My Son is alive, and he is looking into my eyes!” It’s when I became aware of what unconditional love is, to see him for who he is. This is his life, and he is the one who is living it. My job is to help him find that confidence to live it as he wishes, and he keeps breaking through thresholds. My fear kept projecting onto him. I have learned to stand back and let him blossom at his own pace, and he keeps showing me that he is full of potential that’s unfolding, and he is achieving what he wants to achieve. He works hard, and he inspires me to keep following through on my own potential.

NW: Please give encouraging words to Autism Dads on the same journey as you?

MRJ: It gets better. My Alejandro is turning 15 years of age, and we are crossing another threshold in our journey. This journey is full of success and set backs, happiness and sadness, frustration and relief, heartbreaks and joy, and the foundations that will get us through is our love, patience, and encouragement. It’s their life, and they are going to live it to the fullest. It starts by our complete acceptance of them, which is a reflection of our own complete acceptance. Take time to rest, to take care of yourself, know when you reach a rest point and give yourself the time. Take care of your beloved, know when to give your beloved support and a rest time as well, we cannot give what we do not have. Taking care of our children, whether they are on the spectrum or not, requires our engagement, that’s what makes us a parent. Let our children thrive, don’t hold them back with our own fear.

LIVELY

MODEL: MARILYN HATTON JONES PHOTOCREDIT: POINT AND CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY

"I will forget what you said, but I will never forget how lively, joyful and grateful you made me feel.” ~ Debasish Mridha

A moment with Marta fabulous autistic mama

"I grew up in a musical household. Both of my parents had majored in music in college and so it was a huge part of growing up for me. I remember my dad constantly bringing home new and unique pieces of music...it might be Celtic one day and Peruvian the next. This really gave me a huge appreciation for many genres of music. I also grew up singing with my family...we sang a cappella and hearing all of the moving parts of melodies and harmonies intertwining touched me deeply.

Singing in an ensemble is still my favorite. Reading was also huge growing up. My mom read to my siblings and me up until I was in high school. We loved it and each night begged her to read more. She is the one who fostered my love of reading. I also read voraciously on my own.

Music and reading helped me to cope growing up. I often immersed myself into another world while listening to music or reading a book and I’m passing these traditions on to my children today. Being able to escape reality into the pages of a good book can lift the spirit...likewise, music has always helped me to be able to express the emotions locked deep inside that I struggled to express. Music bonds us, binds us, surrounds us and permeates through our beings...connecting us with everyone and expressing what words can’t say. Books offer an escape into a reality completely different from our own. It allows us to do and feel things we might not normally be able to express. Freedom can be found on the pages of a book and in the melody of a song. They trigger memories and allow for healing. I will always be grateful to my parents for fostering my love of reading and music! They have impacted my life in so many positive ways!!!"

Marta Brain

Confessions of an Autism Mom

Covid 19 is really causing some problems.

Virtual schooling is hard, and no one understands I can't work from home. When I ask for help, no one wants to assist me or provide me with support. I continue to pray everyday!

Share your thoughts with us at amabmagazine@gmail.com.

Letters will be edited for spaceand clarity. All submissions become the property of AMAB Magazine.

I SUED MY AUTISTIC SON As his lifelong caretaker and mother, you have given up certain career paths and sacrificed decades of employment advancement and opportunities, thus putting you in an inequitable position economically perhaps and you know that you must be there as a forever mom; there will be no empty nest syndrome with an autistic child.

All transitions with an autistic child are hard. It is no different when they turn 18.

Gaining guardianship is a must and yes, it will be hard. But God chose warriors to be autism moms, so here is a flash of the future for preparation: He is now 18 but still has a lifelong disability that prevents him from ever obtaining gainful employment or living independently. He receives $708 in SSI. He requires a team of 22 caregivers, teachers, para-professionals and professionals, someone 24/7, to care for him including you. He cannot perceive danger, nor can he speak, but he is an adult in the eyes of the law.

He has an ARD approaching and you can no longer sign on his behalf because the law says he is an adult. The school understands but they have rules and laws they must abide by-too bad, you must sit in the meeting and listen only. You can no longer access his bank account to pay his bills because he is no longer a minor.

You are now faced with a problem that even the Attorney General cannot fix. First, you must gain guardianship of your special needs child. This is a complex, emotionally, and financially painful endeavor that must begin immediately after the child turns 18, not before. You must seek out a probate attorney and then, you literally must sue your child. You must have him served papers.

You must go before a probate judge and face interrogation by your child’s ad lightem court-appointed attorney. Once a judge grants you as guardian after an additional background check, you must make annual reports, document visits and report to the state guardianship case manager. You must request and pay for new papers every year and then distribute to each of your child’s case managers. Your child no longer has voting privileges nor is he able to enter into contracts, buy or own property or sign medical waivers; you are his voice. You will always be his voice.

maria merrick

www.waynestreetlive.com

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PULL UP!

Say Yes to You

Say Yes to You

Say Yes to You

Say....

YES to you!

“Shrug off the no’s – they are temporary. This is your world. In your world there is only yes.” ― Jolene Stockman, Total Blueprint for World Domination

Positive

Mindset

Renee Graziano

Health is Wealth! I've struggled with MDD (Major Depression Disorder), GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), and Insomnia for over 30 years. So health and wellness is absolutely everything! People who don't have any disorder have no clue how people like me want to be mentally healthy.

I've also been struggling with my weight since 2010. I was skinny as a young girl and thin as an adult. Unfortunately, when my disorders really went to another level, so did my weight. I went to a doctor and my blood results came back. I was NOT healthy! As a result, in December of this past year, I decided that I had to make a change in every aspect of my life.

I have written three books. The first book, which is a family cookbook is entitled, How To Use A Meat Cleaver. My second book is an erotic novel called, Playing With Fire. Finally, I created a children’s book, Grandma and Me on the Run. I love them all equally. They all play a part in different stages in my life.

I'm still working on putting myself first. I'm halfway there! I'm also working towards being focused on me without feeling selfish.

BUT GOD COMES BEFORE ME ALWAYS! Autism Moms remember to stay strong! There is nothing better than receiving love from a mother. Our kids need that hug every day! When things get too heavy, go get a massage (with the best looking masseuse)!

That should help a little LOL! But before that, PRAY GOD WILL SEE YOU THROUGH!

VIBRANT

MODEL: DONDRA STANG PHOTOCREDIT: POINT AND CLICK PHOTOGRAPHY

“In your daily life, let your destined visions be farther than your gifted sight and your ultimate joy be vibrant than your demeaning worries. Think big, dream big.” ― Israelmore Ayivor!

What Does "desiderata" say about a Graphing calculator?

The back-to-school email from junior high said to “consider getting a graphing calculator as a great investment for your child”. Graphing calculators are used for advanced math …. we are still working on addition and subtraction. I did not initially absorb the soul-crushing aspect of the email, I just ignored it. It was not until I got that email forwarded to me again that I felt shame of where my child is in math compared to his neurotypical peers.

After a smidge of despair and fear, I put on my big-girl panties and stepped back out into the light, reminding myself that if he is alive, he will be moving forward in his learning. Our kids’ pace on their unique journey of learning cannot be compared to any other child. It is sure easy to forget this but “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

Desiderata, Max Ehrmann © 1927.

Desiderata reminds us that we are the guiding stars for our family and the supports for our extended village. It is the trudge up the hill that is the journey. It is our scars that tell our stories and encourage those around us. For my support system, I listen to the right people. I read. I pray. I forgive myself. I do my version of meditation, usually when I am alone and driving. Music sometimes helps. So does quiet.

When I was pregnant with John, I remember praying, asking God to “let me be relevant”. Relevant! We are all relevant these days. Humor, humility, and laughter save me in dark moments. Also, when my kids are sad and needed validation, I play a little game with them. I hug them, and not let go….not let go until they were “all done being sad” and had moved on to laughing. The oxytocin from the long hug brings connectedness http://www.ifwelearndifferently.com/the-pressure-of-pressure-all-good/ Try some variations with your family. I hope it serves you.

For more ideas, please check out our ongoing community learning projects and resources at GettingSorted.com.

gayle fisher

Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech.

Improving the World of Learning Differences gayle.fisher@usa.net

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