WINTER 2019 ISSUE NO. 6
AMAB Autism Moms Are Beautiful
NICHOLE ASHLEY THALJI
Lovely & Radiant
4
Beauty Tips for proper facial cleansing
Easier To Do It Myself, But ...... Patience to Help Our Kids Build Cognitive Neural Pathways and Self-Control!
Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech.
AMAB AUTISM MOMS ARE BEAUTIFUL
Editor-in-Chief Chief Advisor Associate Advisor Associate Advisor Creative Director Managing Editor Style Editor Associate Editor Editorial Assistant
Nichole Wilson Steve Levine Haley Ahart Keiffer Gayle Fischer Nichole Wilson Sindu Alakot Ashlee Viesca Janley Coan Jean TenBrink
Cover Model: Nichole Ashley Thalji Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click Photography
editor's note
Autism Moms Are Beautiful is a quarterly magazine catered to Autism Moms and Special Needs Moms. Our goal is to inspire each of our readers and unite mothers who are raising children with disabilities. Sharing stories of Autism Moms can also enlighten others who are not raising children on the spectrum and are unaware of the challenges that come with raising autistic and special needs children. We appreciate the love and support from Autism Moms and the community. The theme of this issue is Security and Reassurance. Security is our everyday well founded confidence. When we combine security with reassurance, it is our belief that this power will keep us going and keep us strong for our little ones. By doing this, we let everyone know that Autism Moms Are Beautiful, and we rock the universe!
Nichole Wilson EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Hairstylist: Touched By Dutchess Clothing: Chloe Dao Photographer: Point and Click Photography
AMAB Magazine Autism Moms Are Beautiful FB: Autism Moms Are Beautiful with Nichole Wilson AMAB Magazine-Autism Moms Are Beautiful www.amabeautiful.org P.O. Box 841428 Pearland, Texas 77584
contents
Jennifer
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NICHOLE ASHLEY THALJI Autism Mom/Cover Model
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THE DECAF SEGMENT Autism Moms Let It Out
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DONNA SHATARA PORCHE Autism Mom
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SOUL MATE Happy Valentines Day
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Haley
MY MIND NEEDS REST Confessions of an Autism Mom
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ZALYN'S BOULEVARD
Tracey
4 Beauty Tips for proper facial cleansing
Giset
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ANGEL KING Autism Dads Rock
Photos by: Michelle Media (Haley), Point & Click Photography
Remax Pearland Yvonne Walker 832-385-2264 Callyvonnewalker@gmail.com
Sticking to a healthy living and eating plan (no gluten, dairy, soy, or sugar 98% of the time), has helped tremendously. I never worry if I cheat. I always can get myself back on track. Stretching and exercising for at least twenty minutes when experiencing some sort of stressor is also vital to me. I drink almost a gallon of water everyday along with eating fresh garlic cloves as well. I take vitamins and supplements on a regular basis. Keeping good company and positive energy around is also helpful to me. I love listening to Binaural Beats to soothe me during stressful times. I even love to use red/blue lights on my skin for collagen rejuvenation when I can. JC: When did you start this Autism Momma journey? NT: Almost 2 years ago. We knew something was different for about six years, after receiving several misdiagnoses. JC: When you found out that your child was autistic, how did you feel? NT: It felt like I was hit by a bus! I immediately became proactive in order to help my child to be the best he could be.
Interviewed by: Janley Coan Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click Photography
NICHOLE ASHLEY THALJI Nichole Ashley Thalji is an autism mom who rocks. She is well known around the Houston area and continues to make monumental moves that every woman can learn and benefit from. Nichole is a staunch advocate for her autistic child and her beauty continues to shine throughout. Sharing her journey will certainly bring joy to other Autism Moms. Janley Coan: How many children do you have? Nichole Thaji: I have three children. One is in college, one in middle school and our youngest, who is autistic, is in elementary. JC: You are a beautiful lady. Please share some beauty tips. NT: Setting a positive mindset is everything to your life. Having devotion time to thank God constantly throughout my day is a must. Learning to forgive immediately and not to hold on to things that have happened in the past is also necessary. I also find that spending a moment to uplift, motivate, and inspire others, is rewarding.
JC: As a family, how are you balancing your life as an Autism Mom? NT: I take each moment as it comes, one day at a time. I try to take things in stride. I find that using unconventional parenting techniques and tag teaming between parents and siblings all help to make things work out in the end! I always try to keep in mind that each day is a new day! JC: What would you say to Autism Moms who feel like they want to give up? NT: You can’t! Giving up is not an option! Even though your child is going through a moment, and you do not understand, your reaction is what they learn from over time. They need to see the strong, wise and beautiful momma that you are! They feed on your energy. If you are stressed out or upset on the inside, and then try to smile to them, they may react from your negative energy. If you are calm, they feel the comfort of your calmness. Pick your battles. Take a time out, even if it to just hide in your closet when you can’t take it anymore. Regroup your mind or even cry it out. Don’t be afraid to share in the form of venting, but refrain from gossiping over the ordeal. Focus on the superpower within their autism and reflect that back to them as best as possible. Contact Nichole: www.luxuryhomehouston.com www.divorcingthishouse.com www.commercialpropertiespro.com Nichole4.juiceplus.com www.ZyiaFits.com 5
The Decaf Segment Let It Out Autism Moms
“It's too bad you had to put your life on hold.” How many Autism Moms are tired of hearing this? This is how we really want to respond:
What do you mean by its too bad? Anyone who has a child life changes. My life is still going on as we speak. Why must you try to make my life look so pitiful? My life isn't on hold, this is just part of the ride. My life isn't on hold because my son is my life. 6
Contributors: Monet Malone, Jenny Konrath, Tracy L. Traylor
www.amabeautiful.org
I drive an hour one way to take him to ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) Therapy everyday from 9-3pm. I hope to move to the Katy area by next year so that I can have him in school and be able to do more activities with him on a daily basis. Interviewed by: Nichole Wilson Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography
Donna Shatara Porche Donna Shatara Porche is a phenomenal single mother who enjoys sharing her journey as an Autism Mom. Donna’s laugh brings a ray of sunshine and hope to anyone having a bad day. I enjoy every minute I spend with this awesome mom. Nichole Wilson Where were you born? Donna Shatara Porche: I was born in Long Island, NY, but I was raised in Houston, Texas. NW: Was your pregnancy planned or was it a complete surprise? DP: Having a child was planned and it only took one try. Apparently, I'm very fertile. LOL! I wanted more children, but I had a really difficult pregnancy and didn't want to go through that again.
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NW: What signs did your baby display to signal you that he should be diagnosed with Autism? DP: Caden wasn't talking yet by the age of two. So we put him in speech therapy for about 6 months and still nothing. He learned sign language to help communicate with us. After 6 months we continued with speech and added OT. I really didn't know anything about Autism at the time until one night I was watching Housewives of New Jersey (yes I'm that girl that watches all Housewives..lol) and Jacqueline Laurita talked about her son being diagnosed with Autism.
I remember her crying and mentioning his characteristics and I started crying because I knew deep down that Caden had Autism. I went on the internet and started looking up the signs of Autism and Caden appeared to have everything on the list. I then started piecing all the things together on why he did some of the things he did, even as a baby. He would always cry and scream when we walked into a mall and I never knew why until I realized that it was a sensory issue for him..it was too loud. Needless to say, I spoke with his pediatrician and was recommended to Texas Children's Autism Center. Even though I knew in my heart he was Autistic, to hear the words, “Your son has Autism,” was devastating! I cried the whole way home because now it was official. NW: As a single mother how is life for you? DP: As a single mom, life has been a little strenuous at times. I try to stay positive and pray that everything will be alright. Caden is my biggest “Why” in everything I do and he keeps me going. NW: What is your biggest obstacle as an Autism Mom? DP: My biggest obstacle as an Autism Mom is giving Caden the resources that he needs. Unfortunately, I live in a country area, far away from everything. I drive an hour one way to take him to ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) Therapy everyday from 9pm-3pm. I hope to move to the Katy area by next year so that I can have him in school and be able to do more activities with him on a daily basis. NW: If you can give advice to other Autism moms what would it me? DP: If I could give advice to another Autism Mom it would be to make sure and take time for yourself. It took
me a long time to realize that, but it's important to decompress even if it's for 5 min. I would suggest connecting with other Autism Moms and get into these groups like Autism Moms Are Beautiful. It's nice to know you're not alone and can talk and laugh to someone else about it. NW: I know you have your own business. Tell me about that? DP: Yes, I do have my own business. I'm a direct seller for an amazing product called Somaderm. It's the first and only FDA Registered, over the counter, homeopathic, transdermal HGH Gel. It has over 40 benefits and for me it has helped in so many ways. The main one being that it has improved my mood. As an Autism Mom we tend to stress and have less patience and more anxiety. I've actually weaned myself off of medication and have been in better moods due to the gel. It also has given me more energy and better sleep. I love that I can work anywhere from my phone/laptop and have a flexible schedule for Caden. It's really hard to get a full time 8-5 job with his needs. With that being said, I will continue to build my Gel Empire and give Caden and I the best life possible.
Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography Makeup Artist: Camilia Wilson Photographer: Point and Click photography 5
Mission/Misión
Soul Mate
Is to provide high quality, low-cost equipment, programs, products, and services that will enhance the lives of people with disabilities, hearing loss and communication challenges.
I am clinging to his soul We are conjoined like higher emotions Es proveer equipos, programas,y equipos de alta calidad a bajo costo que connection mejorarán las vidas de las We have a spiritual personas con discapacidades, pérdida de audición y We are in the same breath desafios de comunicación. We are one breath “Let’s Make Loss a Conversation” We are onHearing one accord “Conversemos de la Pérdida Auditiva” We share the same voice We are atcompany the same time to Assistive Technology Unlimited is a Houston-based established promote effective communication with adults children to withhis disabilities. I amand clinging soul Many of these services are provided through the STAP (Specialized We are connected like greater affection Telecommunications Assistance Program). STAP is a State-funded Program We have a metaphysical which provides telecommunications equipment to individuals whoalliance have difficulty accessing the telephone. We are sitting in the same sound We are one sound We are on one street We share the same tone We are at the same time I am clinging to his soul Like sweet is to kind • Ser un residente de Texas y And kind is to peace • Tener una condición que limita su capacidad de usar el teléfono. • Ejemplo: dificultad auditiva, ver, hablar, movilidad (moverse) o recordar. He is my soul He is me. Assistive Technology Unlimited
13831 Northwest Freeway, Suite 211 Houston, Texas 77040 sales@assistivetechu.com assistivetechu.com 832-940-2020 10
Nichole Wilson
Assistive Technology Unlimited. . .Transforming Lives, one device at a time. Assistive Technology Unlimited. . .Transformando Vidas!
My mind needs rest
Confessions of an Autism Mom Author: Autism Mom (anonymous) As an Autism Mom, I deal with my child constantly getting upset when the iPad looses complete energy. Being a single mother receiving no help from my son’s father is taking a financial toll on me. The two hour meltdowns each time gives me a tension headache. I cry for hours wondering how I can help him. When I request for assistance from the school district, they deny me. My bank account can't afford an advocate. The only thing I am able to do is pray.
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Zalyn's Boulevard
4 beauty tips for Proper facial cleansing Scrubbing - Apply a face scrub for a few minutes since it helps eliminate dead skin cells. Cleansing - Wash your face thoroughly with a facial cleanser or face wash for your skin type, and pat the skin dry with a soft towel. Toning - Apply a homemade toner on your face, such as cucumber juice and rose water, which helps maintain the pH balance. Moisturize - Finally, apply a nourishing cream on your face and neck.
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Retrieved from NDTV FOOD https://food.ndtv.com/beauty
AV: Do you sometimes feel your life is stressful? AK: I believe that every single responsible adult, carries some level of stress. I think everyone carries that backpack. The difference is what you choose to do with it. I can't deny that my levels of stress of being an Autism Dad are probably higher than a parent of a kid without any disability. AV: How do you and Giset balance the days? AK: When I made the decision to marry the woman version of the Energizer Bunny, I promised her that I would support her on any goals that she had (of course, I wasn’t expecting that many)! We both work out of the house, therefore we divide the chores. I do laundry and dishes, and she sweeps, mops, cooks, etc. Giset is very involved with her fitness classes, autism groups, and running club (the list is longer but that's the idea) and I support her. I love to be in my house, however, sometimes I have the need to go out for myself. When I have that need, usually what I do is go to a baseball game alone. Interviewed by: Ashlee Viesca
ANGEL KING Autism Dads Rock An Autism dad, educator, advocate, and fitness enthusiast--Angel King does it all. Being an Autism Dad isn't easy. yet Angel does it with so much grace, humility, and compassion. I was honored to interview this extraordinary Autism Dad.
AV: What advice can you give other Autism Dads? AK: Keep your priorities in order. In my case I have a good relationship with God. Believe me, there are some days that I need strength and patience beyond this world. I keep my relationship with my wife strong. We try to go out at least twice a month, without the girls, to talk and fall in love again (a babysitter is cheaper than a divorce). So I decided to invest in my marriage! Also, take an hour daily for you and do some type of physical or manly activity. Sports, hunting, watching TV (yes, thats a manly activity), video games, etc., are things that you can do.
Ashlee Viesca: How is life as an Autism Dad? Angel King: My life as an Autism Dad is very interesting. I say this because no two days are the same. Some days are very peaceful and other days are filled with chaos. AV: How many kids do you have? AK: I have two kids in total. Kayra is 10 years old and Krysta is 8. AV: How do your babies interact with you (since one is on the spectrum and the other one is not)? AK: The way that I interact with my babies is according to their needs. I learned in church that even if you love your kids the same way, you demonstrate your love for them in different ways. Krysta prefers to watch movies, but Kayra prefers to eat out at Carl’s Jr. or Chili's.
Left to Right: Giset, Krysta, Kayra and Angel 13
Easier To Do It Myself, But ...... Patience to Help Our Kids Build Cognitive Neural Pathways and Self-Control. Daily, there are things my 12-year old son with developmental delays is supposed to be doing that take f-o-r-e-v-e-r. It would be so much more efficient to just do it myself and just tell him how to do it next time. In other words, deny him opportunity to try and the dignity of risk-taking, and then nag. Stuff like laundry. picking up toys. preparing his backpack for school tomorrow and yet, what if #MomisAboutToLoseIt?
Small comfort, but still hope for quicker neural pathways for future "transactions". I must keep the focus on him choosing self-restraint, selfregulation. My responsibility as parental support is that I have to choose patience and delay my agenda. I have to put his learning needs first, and back off what I want the teachable moment to be about. I have to "meet him where he is". Whether I am happy about that or not. It can't be about me.
On days when I feel frazzled and everything seems too loud, if I can be self-aware to remember, I make an on-the-spot pledge of silence. When I stop making things louder, he notices. It influences him. It's a chain reaction. Soon, things become really quiet. Both audiences are gone, re-negotiations cease. Sometimes he has a wicked little grin, so I know he has control over his choices. Other times, he seems so frustrated that the neural pathway response isn't cognitive, it's emotiondriven, without self-restraint, and lightning-fast.
Peace be with us, Gayle
Primal, not cognitive. Yet. I guess the good news is that he really can process fast, but it's not cognitively-driven. It's just primal. John is gentle as a lamb when officially sparring at taekwondo. When he isn't thinking about sparring, when he's just losing self-control with me at home, without apparent cognitive thought, he moves faster than I can react.
Gayle Y. Fisher, M.Ed., Ed.Tech. Improving the World of Learning Differences GettingSorted.com
Fashion Show sponsored by: Nichole Wilson of AMAB Magazine Clothing by: Denese McNeil of Boho Glam Klozet
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Including Kids, INC. 18401 Timber Forest Drive Humble, TX 77346 Telephone 281-852-0501 Fax 281-852-0502 info@includingkids.org Business Hours – 8am to 4pm
Including Kids, INC. was founded 15 years ago with the mission of providing educational and therapeutic instruction using the principles of applied behavior analysis for children with autism and related developmental delays, endeavoring to facilitate their inclusion in the community. Today, Including Kids has served over 900 families from 13 counties in the Greater Houston area. We have created a quality full-time program that continues to change the lives of young adults and children with autism, offering them a chance to be included in the community.