May 2012 Austin Woman by Austin Woman Magazine

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Because a woman’s heart speaks its own language. Heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women in the United States, and its symptoms are sometimes unexpected—jaw pain, cold sweats and nausea, to name a few. The Seton Heart Institute Women’s Heart Program is dedicated to helping women identify their risk factors for heart disease and providing care that is tailored to their unique needs. To schedule an appointment, please call (512) 324-3440 or visit SetonHeart.com/women.

Mary J. Borses, MD • Fotini M. Chalkias, MD Caitlin M. Giesler, MD • Charlie Simpson, ACNP

BMW 7 Series

bmwofaustin.com 512-343-3500

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With the seamless technology of the 7 Series it’s difﬁcult to tell where your smartphone ends and your BMW begins. Connect your device, via USB or wirelessly using Bluetooth® technology, to display your phone’s information on the vehicle’s display. Further, BMW Apps seamlessly integrates your smartphone and iDrive system, so you can listen to your favorite Internet radio stations and display Facebook updates and Twitter feeds.* To experience this for yourself, schedule a test drive at bmwofaustin.com.

TEST DRIVE THE BMW 7 SERIES.

BMW of Austin

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*Requires optional BMW Apps (6NR). Available on iPhone only. Limited functionality available while driving. comes ﬁrst. For full details on BMW Ultimate Service® visit bmwusa.com/ultimateservice. ©2012 BMW of North America, LLC. The BMW name, model names and logo are registered trademarks. ®

1 Whichever

Contents m ay

72 On the Cover Clear and Soulful Courtney Sanchez embraces her voice. By Joelle Pearson / Photographs by Melanie Grizzel.

78 Features all in the family Family duos find success working side by side. By Julie Tereshchuk / Photographs by Sadie Barton.

tenth anniversary

Photo by Melanie Grizzel.

Ten years after the first issue went to press, we get an update from Andrea McWilliams. By Deborah Hamilton-Lynne.

Contents m ay

Summer Beauty stay fresh and gorgeous in the summer heat. on the scene

to your health

savvy women

24 5 things you must do this month

54 fitness Fit mom, healthy baby.

90 you should know Carrie Contey explains

26 aw talks with Esperanza Spalding.

56 fitness Fun family events.

28 spotlight event Romeo and Juliet.

58 wellness Mental health for Mom.

charge of your health with a home birth.

30 philanthropy Art Bra Austin.

mothers

94 entrepreneurial life Gorgeous Millie transforms the toddler social scene.

60 fertility Becoming a mother through

96 last word The beat goes on.

Austin’s top events.

36 Horoscopes Happy birthday, Taurus.

must list 38 editor picks 46 guilty pleasure Break away from everyday stresses at Hiatus Spa.

gourmet 48 Foodie alert New restaurants for celebration. 50 foodie alert Helen Thompson dishes on The Mansion on Turtle Creek Cookbook. 12 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

alternate methods.

92 all the right questions How to take

64 care services Helping uninsured and low-income women with healthy birthing options. 66 helping hand Housing services lead to renewed hope.

68 dealing with illness Two families bring hope and awareness to a deadly disease.

opposite sex 86 Relationships Five phrases men want to hear. 88 memo from JB Mr. Fun Guy.

on the cover Photo by Melanie Grizzel. Makeup by Tiffany Taylor, Kiss N’ Makeup, 512.388.1150, kissnmakeup.us. Styling by Erika Cerda. Shot on location at The Belmont. Muse one-shoulder dress, Lauren by Ralph Lauren leather belt, Cara Accessories bangles, Kendra Scott ‘Elle’ turquoise oval earrings, Ariella Collection square ring and Sam Edelman ‘Myer’ heels available at Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.691.3500.

Photo by Cody Hamilton.

32 Around town Party photos from

why taking care of yourself is key to good parenting.

We are hosting a full schedule of free marketing classes in Austin this spring, Come learn strategies to grow your business. Seating is limited. Learn more and sign up to attend at constantcontact.com/texas Topics Include: - The Power of Email Marketing - Social Media Marketing Made Simple - Supercharge Your Facebook Page - The Power of Event Marketing

Julie Niehoff, Sr. Development Director @JulieNiehoff

FREE MARKETING WORKSHOPS Small Business Week is May 21st - 26th! Constant Contact will host a series of exciting events all week with great topics and speakers to help you grow your business.

May 21st and 22nd - Small Business Camps Informal, small group discussions lead by your peers, these events offer great information and access to others with answers to your questions and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a chance to network too!

May 23rd - Get Down To Business 2012

Find Austin Event info @ constantcontact.com/texas

Bur

net

The All New Honda

As part of our on-going commitment to supporting Dell Childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Medical Center of Central Texas, First Texas Honda is donating a top of the line, fully-loaded, Honda Odyssey for a raffle to be held this May. Help us in raising over $100K for the sick and injured children of Central Texas. For More Details and to Buy a Ticket Today! childrensaustin.org | firsttexashonda.com

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AWMedia

aw AUSTIN WOMAN MAGAZINE

Volume 10, issue 9 Co-Founder and Publisher

Melinda Maine Garvey vice president and Co-Publisher

Christopher Garvey Co-Founder

Samantha Stevens Executive Editor

Legally Intoxicating

Deborah Hamilton-Lynne Art Director

Victoria Millner ad designer

Collette Mengden art assistant

Jennifer Day marketing and operations director

Dustin Woodhead marketing and operations associate

Sadie Barton lead Account Executive

Katie Lesnick Account Executives

Arielle Levy, Kimberly Sanderson, Charmie Stryker, 512.328.2421 associate editor

Joelle Pearson contributing editor

LOCATION BY: 2nd Bar CLOTHING BY: Girl Next Door

Julie Tereshchuk copy editor

Chantal Rice Contributors

Rudy Arocha, Sadie Barton, Nicole Carbon, Jill Case, Jane Field, Michelle Fitzgerald, Deborah Goldstein, Melanie Grizzel, JB Hager, Cody Hamilton, Jan Heaton, Chrissie Jarrell, Molly Keith, Caleb Kerr, Eric Leech, Deborah Mastelotto, Molly McManus, Rachel Merriman, Joelle Pearson, Autumn Rhea Carpenter, Julie Tereshchuk, Helen Thompson, Erica Todd, Darline Turner-Lee, Natalie Yerkovich Interns

Hillary Broussard, Jane Field, Christine Imperatore, Mari Jamaleldine, Molly Keith, Rachel Merriman, Erica Todd Favorite spot out of copies?

512.328.2421 â&#x20AC;˘ 1213 W. 49th St., Austin, TX 78756 austinwomanmagazine.com

Austin Woman Magazine is a free monthly publication of AW Media Inc. and is available at more than 1,150 locations throughout Austin and in Lakeway, Cedar Park, Round Rock and Pflugerville. All rights reserved. For submission requirements, contact ideas@austinwomanmagazine.com. No part of the magazine may be reprinted or duplicated without permission. For copies of articles, call 512.328.2421.

2900 W. ANDERSON LN.

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Makeup: Madison Williams

KEITH KRISTOFER S A LO N

A N D

All of my life, I wanted to be a mother. It’s not only that I wanted children; I specifically wanted to be a mother. I originally wanted six children and thankfully, there was a wise power looking out for me who blessed me with three. I say blessed because I mean it. I believe that motherhood is the most challenging and most rewarding calling a woman can have. From the moment your child is born, nothing is ever the same and, as I jokingly say, motherhood is a life sentence. It is difficult to describe the unconditional love that floods your heart and encompasses your soul when your child is first placed in your arms. The word “mother” evokes strong emotions and it seems that we as humans are always trying to define ourselves in some way related to our mothers: how we interact with our mothers, who we are as mothers or who we are as children. Mothering is a subject rich for discussion, reflection and debate, so we approached this issue with an open mind. Courtney Sanchez made one of the most difficult decisions a mother can ever make. Faced with the realization that eventually the domestic violence she was experiencing would escalate to the point that her life was in danger, she fled her home and the father of her two young children, finding shelter at SafePlace. She found the strength to begin again with a powerful voice that can be heard in clubs and at weddings and parties, as well as from the podium at conferences and in the offices of elected officials nationwide. Her story is an inspiration to mothers and their children who have been touched by domestic violence. We also explored the complex relationship of mothers who work with their children. We looked at motherhood by other means, hearing the stories of an egg donor and a physician who chose to use a sperm donor and artificial insemination as her path. We discovered an organization that serves homeless single mothers and their children, and one that helps low-income women receive the care they need during pregnancy and childbirth. If your pulse is racing and you are feeling overwhelmed just reading about all of these topics, skip ahead to this month’s guilty pleasure, join the H-Circle and look forward to a once-a-month spa getaway. Leave the magazine open to the pages on hot new restaurants as a subtle reminder that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Thousands of years ago, pagans paid homage to the goddesses of fertility on the first day of May with the raising of the Maypole, dancing and merry making. I would like to welcome May and think of motherhood as the best of those ancient celebrations honoring the goddesses of fertility with flowers, singing and laughing. Weave in and out of the joys and challenges of the mother-and-child bond. Enjoy the dance and don’t take yourself too seriously. Like many Maypole dances, motherhood may not be perfect but it comes out all right in the end. Being a mother is one thing only a woman can do. Find a beautiful ribbon and join in the celebration of mothers—being one or having one. Happy May Day and happy Mother’s Day to you all.

S PA

5 1 2 . 2 3 3 . 1 9 1 0 W W W. K E I T H K R I S T O F E R . C O M

deborah hamilton-lynne Executive Editor

Photo by Korey Howell.

From the Editor

Planning to Buy, Sell or Lease a Home?

It pays to work with a REALTOR

A REALTOR® knows the facts about whether it’s a good time to buy, sell or lease. Members of the Austin Board of REALTORS® can assess the value of homes, negotiate pricing and help navigate financing options. REALTORS® are your advantage in real estate transactions.

To Find the right home or REALTOR® visit AustinHomeSearch.com

B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y T H E A U S T I N B O A R D O F R E A LT O R S ®

Contributors

Hagar photographed by Rudy Arocha; Lesnick photographed by Alice Rabbit; Thompson photographed by Wyatt McSpadden.

Helen Thompson writes about Texas architecture and interior design on her blog, seeninhouse.com. She is a regional editor for the Meredith Corporation. She has also contributed to Better Homes and Gardens, Elle Decor, Architectural Digest and Martha Stewart Living. Thompson is the author of nine books, including Milagros, Cooking Spaces, Dream Kitchens, Dallas Classic Desserts, San Antonio Classic Desserts and The Big Texas Steak House Cookbook. In this issue of AW, she gives us the scoop on her latest, The Mansion on Turtle Creek Cookbook, published by Rizzoli. Melanie Grizzel has been photographing nationally for 20 years in publications like the New York Times, People, the Dallas Morning News and Money Magazine. She has also shot exclusively for Caroline’s Comedy Club on Broadway and advertising for Bank of America, Kodak and Maxwell House coffee. But her favorite thing to photograph is her 3-year-old son, Bishop, and her doting husband, Steve. You can see her work shooting this month’s cover story on page 72.

People look puzzled to learn that JB Hagar is a regular contributor to Austin Woman. Growing up with a divorced mom and three sisters, democracy ruled his early years, outvoting JB and subjecting him to The Waltons, Little House on the Prairie and Laverne and Shirley. His childhood home was filled with the music from Grease and Carole King. For more than 20 years, his radio show has catered mostly to women. Married more than 13 years with a 10-year-old daughter and two dogs—both female—JB is comfortable tackling an estrogen mafia at each and every turn, and he loves writing for Austin Woman. Katie Lesnick is a force to be reckoned with. Katie began selling advertising for Austin Woman in 2009 and last month, she was promoted to the lead account executive position for AW Media. Katie and her mother moved to Austin from the small town of Monroe, MI, in 2006. A lover of the arts, Katie spends her free time singing, on the yoga mat, modeling and surrounding herself with the best, as she believes greatness is contagious.

A Neighborhood Bistro in Northwest Austin Lunch, Dinner and Introducing Sunday Jazz Brunch Happy Hour Mon-Sat • Full Bar Function room available

346-7900 • bistrotmirabelle.com 8127 Mesa Drive, Austin

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Rhoad to Beauty Aesthetic Plastic Surgery ❦ Skin Botox

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Care P r o d u c t s ❦ Skin Obagi ®

SkinCeuticals ® Latisse ® Revitalash

❦ Breast Breast Implants*

Breast Lift Breast Reduction*

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Gentle Water-Assisted Liposuction Mommy Makeovers*

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Necklift Eyelift Browlift* Otoplasty (ear pinning) Rhinoplasty* Cheek and Chin Implants Lip Lift and Enhancement Earlobe Repair and Reduction Liposuction Fat Grafting Facial Fillers

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d a o h R . r D Ask Q: What is a Mommy Makeover? A: After having children many women want to deal with the changes that leave the breasts smaller and less perky, the abdomen skin looser. Breast implants and/ or a breast lift restore the breasts. A tummy tuck removes excess skin and flattens the tummy. Liposuction can also remove excess fat deposited in areas that did not have fat before pregnancy. You can return your body to pre-pregnancy or better!

w w w .R h o a d t o B e a u t y . c o m

The Rhoad Crew

On the Web austinwomanmagazine.com

The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, by Renee Trudeau Get the scoop on selfrenewal and personal renewal groups from Renee Trudeau.

The POWERHOUR workout! Celebrate b Con Mi Madre celebrates its 20th anniversary. b The Kenya-Texas Celebration features Auma Obama, presented by The Nobelity Project and Citizen Generation. C

2012 readership survey b Participate in the Austin Woman Readership Survey to give us valuable feedback and for a chance to win a one-night stay at W Austin and a package from AWAY Spa.

Regardless of your fitness level, you can actively participate in the POWER HOUR workout and burn up to 1000 calories. GET GUARANTEED RESULTS with the POWER HOUR workout!

YOUR FIRST SHOT IS FREE.

CMY

more for mothers b Beauty products for expectant mothers. b Margaret Austin Retreat Center’s Mother’s Day weekend yoga retreat. b Sugar and Spice Ranch mother-daughter bonding horse camps. K

Best of the Blogs b Susie Davis, aka, The Good News Girl, tells us how she lures her daughter back to Austin using her favorite Austin trailer treat in her blog post Love Austin, the Mighty Cone. b Are you a blogger? To be considered for Best of the Blogs, please submit a sample of your best work to submissions@awmediainc.com. Plus b Concert and theater reviews. b Complete horoscopes and May calendar. b Tenth anniversary update featuring Austin Woman’s fifth year. To find these articles, visit the table of contents page at austinwomanmagazine.com.

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This TITLE Boxing Club® is an independently owned and operated franchise of R&R Get Fit LLC.

on the scene /

5 Things you must do this month

Painting and a Puppet Show May 12, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Austin Museum of Art, Laguna Gloria The second Saturday of each month at the Austin Museum of Art is reserved for the little artists. Drop in any time from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. for a music-inspired printmaking art activity. Heighten your child’s interest level for reading with Literature LIVE!, a highly interactive puppet show that tells the most beloved stories in a new and interesting medium, presented by the Austin Public Library performance troupe. Mother Goose on the Loose is appropriate for ages 3 and older. The event is $10 per family and just $5 for member families. Register at amoa.org.

May 5 – 6 on Sixth Street Peruse works of art and crafts, listen to Austin’s best live music and eat delicious street food— all in the same day at the Old Pecan Street Festival. Now in its 34th year, the festival will be promoting green living by using recycling programs and organic vendors. Since the festival coincides with Cinco de Mayo weekend celebrations, an entire stage will be dedicated to Latin music Sunday, May 6. Bring the kids (two-legged and four-legged) for a quintessentially Austin time, all while benefitting Austin Pets Alive, Austin Boxer Rescue, Knights of Columbus and Make a Wish. See the full musical lineup and vendor list at oldpecanstreetfestival.com.

24 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

Violet Crown Spring Festival May 5, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Brentwood Park Have a great time while celebrating community at the Violet Crown Spring Festival, which supports various enhancement projects for the Brentwood and Crestview neighborhoods. To kick off the festivities, Violet Crown Community Theater will present its newest production, Super Cinderella. At noon, kid-friendly entertainers Jungle Jill and the Jaybirds will perform bilingual music, stories and a puppet show. Other activities include a slow bicycle race (the slowest cyclists win first place), massage therapy for parents and kids, a native plant swap, an obstacle course, a tinker table and spin art. Admission is free. Visit violetcrowncommunity. org for more details.

Top photo by Patrick Hughey.

Old Pecan Street Festival

Story Time for Kids Second Saturdays, 1 to 2 p.m. at Mitchie’s Gallery This interactive story time incorporates fun games and sign language. Some parents teach their infants to sign before they begin to speak, and in older children, sign language has been shown to enhance literary development and help them express themselves in a new way. Learn a new language together, and enjoy complimentary refreshments during the story. You’ll also receive a free book and a small gift for attending. Learn more about Mitchie’s Gallery at mitchie.com.

Mother Earth Festival May 11, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. across from the Zilker Hillside Theater Spring has sprung and summer is well on its way, so have some fun in the sun and enjoy educational activities, music and games at the Mother Earth Festival. Kids will have the opportunity to learn about Austin’s watershed system, permaculture and the animals that inhabit Lady Bird Lake and Barton Creek. The Hey Lollies, Laura Freeman and Heather Jarry will perform an interactive puppet show about the Edwards Aquifer, and you’ll get a chance to create your very own Barton Springs salamander sock puppet. For a full list of activities and musical performances, visit motherearthdayfest.net.

aw talks with

Esperanza Spalding The exuberant jazz artist stretches her artistic muscle with a new release and tour. By Deborah Goldstein Anyone who has seen one of her jaw-dropping live performances instantly understands why the stunning and stylish Esperanza Spalding has skyrocketed on to the global stage. Even before surprising the masses by becoming the first jazz musician ever to win the coveted Grammy Award for Best New Artist in 2011, the immensely talented 27-year-old vocalist, bassist and composer was on the cultural radar. She not only appeared in Vogue and Banana Republic ads, but also visited David Letterman and performed at the White House. Many film lovers witnessed another side of Spalding’s versatility early this year when she delivered a touching vocal tribute to departed film industry icons at the Academy Awards ceremony with a moving version of What a Wonderful World. Since then, her schedule has become jam-packed and an extremely large spotlight is following her life and work. Spalding projects an earthy demeanor with childlike enthusiasm when discussing her work and life. Having studied and performed with a long list of jazz virtuosos, she features many of them on her newest release, Radio Music Society. When not touring, Spalding splits her time between homes in Austin and New York City. Austin Woman had a chance to chat with Spalding, who will perform at the Paramount Theatre May 5. Austin Woman: What do you get from your time in Austin as opposed to what you get from New York City when it comes to creative expression? Esperanza Spalding: Oh, peace. I get a lot of peace. I find it much easier to focus in my house in Austin. I feel a lot of peace with the people there too. I feel that in New York also, but it’s just so laid back [in Austin] and that’s more

my pace as a human being coming from Oregon, you know? I’m more in to people really focused on the quality of life, not in where they’re getting in life. And there’s more of a sense of hustle in New York. Many of the arrangements for this record were written in Austin just because I can sit at the piano and play until 4 a.m. if I want or just stare out the window at the squirrels. And that environment I find much more inspiring. AW: You are involved with several humanitarian causes, things that are close to you. What would you consider the highest achievements possible as an artist? ES: Well, you know, it’s crazy. I mean, what you receive as an artist is so immense. As a child, you receive the teachings, the faith, the mentorship. And then when you listen to music, you receive this gift of feeling, of this uplifting, nourishing, just wonderful feeling. It’s almost inexpressible the gift that having a life in music feels like. It’s such a luxury. I would say the highest achievement for an artist is to be able to offer back that feeling or that gift to others. AW: You created 12 highly produced companion videos for your release. How did the concept of having your music unfold like a movie begin for you? ES: Well, yeah, it was really amazing watching the videos actually sort of reveal themselves because they had been in my head and in the heads of the filmmakers for so long, you know? But actually, the original concept that I had for this album was of it being a

Radio Music Society is Esperanza Spalding’s fourth release, featuring a collection of mostly original songs. The disc includes guest artists who are titans and pillars of the jazz community, and expresses more of a groove sound than her previous albums. The deluxe edition includes a DVD featuring highly produced videos designed to expand the storytelling nature of Spalding’s concept. On May 5, enjoy Spalding live at the Paramount Theatre, 713 Congress Ave., 512.472.5470, austintheatre.org.

26 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

video album. I thought visual symbols, visual story lines would be a really great way to invite a listener in to what was happening in the conversation, if you’re not used to listening to jazz. AW: What is your songwriting process? When writing a song, do you work with the lyrics or melody first? Or do you start by working with intriguing rhythmic interpretations that stand out in your work? ES: The truth is I don’t really think about, you know, interesting rhythms, interesting harmony when I’m writing. I’m just going for what the song wants. Usually melody comes first. I’ll be somewhere at the piano or the instrument or on the plane or whatever, and I think of a melody for whatever reason. Sometimes it just comes out of my mouth when I’m not even thinking about it. If I decide that a song is going to have lyrics, I start to look at what the phrases are saying. I think when the real creative stuff happens it’s a really thin line between your analytical, intellectual, rational mind and your intuitive, more subtle sort of from-the-guts mind where you’re seeing or hearing something that’s very diffused. And then the process of getting it solidified is sort of like peeling layers away from this diffused glass until, oh, that’s exactly what it is. Now I’ve got it. You know? Yeah.

Top photo by Sandrine Lee, courtesy of Montuno.

on the scene /

spotlight event

Photo by Amitava Sarkar.

on the scene /

romeo and juliet Ballet Austin brings its original interpretation of Shakespeareâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s timeless love story to the stage this Motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Day weekend. Amid a majestic score and spectacle of stage and costume design, the young lovers come to life once more in a production sure to awaken the senses. For tickets (starting at $12), visit balletaustin.org. May 11 through 13 at The Long Center.

B For more events, see the complete May calendar at austinwomanmagazine.com.

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on the scene /

philanthropy

Survivors Take the Stage The Breast Cancer Resource Center hosts Art Bra Austin. By Molly Keith

are free and provided to both men and women suffering from breast cancer. Women, or “patient navigators,” who are employed by BCRC are all breast-cancer survivors, something Black believes enables them to be empathetic versus sympathetic when it comes to assisting patients with treatment options, insurance, taking care of children and providing support groups. “When my grandmother was going through her treatment, I had an aunt who went with her to take notes at doctor appointments,” Black says. “That’s what BCRC provides so all you can focus on is getting healthy.”

Art Bra will also host a silent auction, offering one-of-a-kind Austin experiences, travel opportunities and, of course, elaborate art bras. Audioroad and Cover Girls will perform live while attendees feast on scrumptious treats from local restaurants. “We’re really hoping that attendees will feel an emotional connection to the women up on stage,” Black says. “It’s the first time they’ve gone out to feel sexy after their surgery. It’s their coming-out party and they are getting on with their lives.” Art Bra Austin will take place May 19 from 7 to 11 p.m. at Austin Music Hall. For more information, visit bcrc.org/home/art-bra-austin.

Austin Woman Sponsored Events Badgerdog Literary Publishing: Celebrating Voices in Ink May 3, 6:30 to 9 p.m., Kodosky Donor Lounge in The Long Center Join Badgerdog, a literary arts nonprofit, in presenting Philip and Donna Berber of A Glimmer of Hope with the Forrest Preece Literary Light Award. For more information, visit the community page of badgerdog.org.

30 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of the Year Grand Finale May 4, Driskill Hotel This event will celebrate 14 local candidates who spent 10 weeks raising money to support blood-cancer research and treatment. For more information, call 512.491.6610.

JDRF 13th Annual Hope Ball May 12, Renaissance Austin Hotel This year’s annual JDRF Hope Ball will feature both a live and silent auction with the night capped off by a special performance by the Spazmatics. For more information or to purchase tickets, go to jdrf.org/austin.

LifeWorks White Party May 25, 8 p.m. to midnight, The Long Center To kick off Memorial Day weekend, Austin’s liveliest philanthropic movers and shakers don all white and dance the night away on The Long Center terrace with the sparkling city lights as a backdrop. All proceeds support Lifeworks’ mission to transition youth and families from crisis to safety and success. whitepartyaustin.org.

Photo by Flashbax Twenty Three Photography.

Bejeweled boobs and coming-out parties aren’t always associated with each other, but at Art Bra Austin 2012, where local breast-cancer survivors strut their stuff on the runway, it’s all about brassieres enveloped in precious stones and feathers. “There was one made out of wedding-dress pieces once,” chuckles Cheryl Black, Art Bra Austin communications chair. “We definitely don’t want to discourage anyone from submitting any type of bra.” Art Bra Austin, hosted by the Breast Cancer Resource Center, will feature creative bras contributed from the city’s art community. The models, mostly BCRC clients, are breast-cancer survivors. And, according to Black, the event this year has undergone a makeover, with a jury of three to four fashion experts who will be selecting the most dazzling bra. The bras entered in the contest must have at least a $75 value to be featured on stage. Funds from the event will go to support BCRC. “It allows for our services to be free and help employ the staff we have to help people get through breast cancer. We depend on community support,” Black says. BCRC, started in 1995 as a volunteer-only organization, has grown in to a nonprofit and serves approximately 2,600 clients every year. The services

Mother. Daughter. Grandmother.

1 of every 3 women die of cardiovascular disease. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why women across our community are joining the American Heart Association and St. Davidâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s HealthCare to promote the Go Red For Women movement and fight heart disease in Central Texas. Join the Circle of Red: Contact Taylor Engel at 512.338.2442 or taylor.engel@heart.org Or visit: www.heart.org/Austin or www.Facebook.com/AHAAustin

Go Red and Go Red for Women are trademarks of AHA. Red Dress Design is a trademark of U.S. DHHS.

Ali Begnaud, Alex Basso and Meredith Dowlff at the Toast the Cure fundraiser.

ON THE SCENE / AROUND TOWN

Julie & Garrett Hall and Justin & Gail Papermaster at the Toast the Cure fundraiser.

Kendra Scott and James Cooke at the Kendra & Cocktails Lifeworks fundraiser. Photo by Gerry Hanan.

Carly, Robin and Courtney Campbell at the Kendra & Cocktails Lifeworks fundraiser. Photo by Gerry Hanan.

Sheila Peters, Leslie Blanke, Catherine Morse (2012 Honoree) and Whitney Hamnett-Pirkle at the Girl Scouts Women of Distinction Luncheon.

Deanna Serra, Etta Moore, Lisa Copeland (2012 Honoree) and Lynn Meredith at the Girl Scouts Women of Distinction Luncheon.

Women’s health imaging for all of you. Austin Radiological Association is committed to bringing you the whole spectrum of women’s medical imaging. And we have the advanced technology and expertise to ensure you get the best possible care. ARA offers complete services to help you and your doctor, including: digital mammography, breast biopsy exams, bone density exams, EVLT for varicose veins, uterine fibroid embolization and supplemental breast screening including MRI and molecular breast imaging (MBI). With 15 locations, including our two Women’s Imaging Centers, it’s easy to find ARA medical imaging services near you.

Schedule now at ausrad.com or 512.453.6100

AUSTIN RADIOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION

Mike Flanigan at Wine Down Wednesday.

ON THE SCENE / AROUND TOWN

Charmie Stryker, Rochelle Rae and Debra Bandera at Tiara Tuesday Giving Man Pledge Happy Hour.

Jodie and Laylan Copelin at the 5x7 Art Show.

Joseph Buantello, Jenny Lin and Meredith Johns at Tiara Tuesday Giving Man Pledge Happy Hour.

Christy Pipkin, Blake Mycoskie and Turk Pipkin at The Nobelity Project Gala. Photo by Svetlana Frolova.

34 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

Fashion show during Ballet Austin’s Women on Their Toes event.

Lynn Dobson , Mardy Chen and Cindy Isaacs at The Nobelity Project Gala. Photo by Svetlana Frolova.

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on the scene /

horoscopes

Happy Birthday, Taurus April 21 - May 21 YOU: When we say Taurus, we get a visual image of a bull and all that goes with that: Ferdinand (the bull who loves flowers), bull-headed, bulls**t, pit bull terrier, bull fights, running with the bulls, bull in a china shop, etc. But stereotypes frequently contain a seed of truth. You’re stubborn. You clamp on to things with ferociousness and tenacity, but it’s a steady, dogged persistence that gets things done. You do have a sweet nature (like Ferdinand) but your ruling planet is Venus, for goodness’ sake! You are willing to fight if pushed too far, it can be thrilling but dangerous to run with you and your pack, and you can be a bit large in delicate situations. Think about it: Queen Elizabeth, Karl Marx, William Shakespeare and Florence Nightingale were all Tauruses. They were all very determined, to say the least. You also like the good life, physical pleasures and art, especially your own. Many of you have beautiful

voices (Barbra Streisand is a Taurus); Taurus rules the throat. You like to own the best in wine, food, clothes... or lovers. THIS MONTH: This month (and the next two), you’re really happy to be who you are. A major shift in your style and the way you present yourself may shock people, but you need to be more authentic and honest right now. This planetary situation happens to Taurus once every 12 years, so bask in it while you can. Expect all the good things in life to grow, especially finances. You’re more creative and expressive, like your energy is expanding so your life needs to change to meet it. Expect increases in everything, especially finances, but watch out for an increase in your waistline. —Deborah Mastelotto, deborah@pinkaustin.com For all horoscopes, visit austinwomanmagazine.com.

SYMBOL: The bull ZODIAC WHEEL ORDER: Second HOUSE RULES: The money house. Resources, earnings, acquisitions, values, security, spending, material resources and possessions ELEMENT: Earth QUALITY: Fixed (stubborn) PLANETARY RULER: Venus BIRTHSTONE: Emerald KEY CHARACTERISTICS: Determined, patient, practical, stable, generous STRENGTHS: Persistent, reliable, warm-hearted CHALLENGES: Jealous, possessive, resentful, inflexible, self-indulgent, greedy, placid COLORS: Pink, pale blue, pastel shades of green

Taurus Austinites

May 5

May 14

May 15

May 19

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must list /

editor picks Must see Les Miserables

Must hear

Must taste

Madeleine Peyroux at One World Theatre

Wine Tasting Tuesdays at House Wine

Madeleine Peyroux sings like Billie Holiday. It’s a tall claim to make, but Peyroux’s take on jazz is just like the Lady. After the release of her first record, Peyroux performed at Lilith Fair and jazz festivals throughout the world. But Peyroux’s next career move was to go back to her roots: busking. The chances to see her happened in the streets of Paris, where the Athens, GA, native learned to sing when she was living there as a teenager. Best of all, the renegade singer has been known to belt out some Patsy Cline, so we know she’ll fit right in here in Austin. Madeleine Peyroux will perform at the One World Theatre May 25 at 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Tickets available online oneworldtheatre.org.

House Wine, the universally favored restaurant in South Austin, offers highly popular $15 wine-tasting classes on Tuesday nights. The 7:30 p.m. classes include five wines, delicious cheese and feature instruction from a rotating collection of wine experts. The tastings typically have themes, such as the recent class “If You Think Rieslings are Sweet—Think Again,” led by Daniel McKeever. Spaces are quick to be reserved, so save your spot well in advance. House Wine is located at 408 Josephine St. Call 512.658.7073 for reservations.

Must have Rebecca Ring Three-stone ring set in bronze and 18-karat rose gold. $405, available at 2900 W. Anderson Lane, 512.452.6491.

Must celebrate Cinco de Mayo 7th Annual Festival Tejano and Conjunto bands, an accordion music festival, gorditas, tacos, spicy chicken wings. In Austin, Cinco de Mayo celebrations last through May 6 at Fiesta Gardens Park, where the 7th annual Cinco de Mayo Fiesta will be held. There, the University of Texas Conjunto Band will play, along with Grammy Award winner Jimmy Gonzalez y el Grupo Mazz, and a number of other wonderful musicians. Fiesta Gardens Park is located at Interstate 35 and Lady Bird Lake.

38 Austin Woman M a y 2 0 1 2

Top photo by Deen Van Meer.

“I dreamed a dream. …” If Austin is getting just a little too hot at the end of May, escape to 19th-century France and listen to Fantine sing about her dashed dreams in Boublil and Schönberg’s musical Les Miserables. You’ll be reminded that things would be worse if you were a Victor Hugo character, but you’ll still enjoy yourself when attending the 25thanniversary production of the secondlongest-running musical in the world. Performances are at Bass Concert Hall May 29 through May 31 at 8 p.m., with Saturday and Sunday matinees at 1 p.m. and 2 p.m., respectively. Tickets are available online at texasperformingarts. org or by calling 512.471.4454.

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Texas Breast Specialists is a part of Texas Oncology.

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must list Summer Beauty Guide We hit the stores ➸ to find the must-have

❰

products to keep you fresh and gorgeous all summer long. Here are a few things we’ll be grabbing come the 106-degree heat. Photos by Cody Hamilton.

perfume

❱❱ Reminiscent of a vintage perfume bottle, Valentina delivers notes of bergamot, white flowers, cedar and amber. Available at Neiman Marcus, 3400 Palm Way, 512.719.1200.

❱❱ Designed for the fragrance aficionado, Tom Ford Private Blend Neroli Portofino balances citrus oils such as lemon and mandarin with florals, including rosemary, myrtle and lavender. Available at Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.691.3500.

❱❱ Energize your senses with grapefruit and blue lotus scents in the Sporty fragrance from the Big Pony Collection by Ralph Lauren. Available at Ralph Lauren, 11601 Century Oaks Terrace, Suite 109, 512.490.0812.

❱❱ Inspired by the red coral of the Mediterranean Sea, Bvlgari Omnia Coral is summerready with notes of hibiscus, pomegranate and goji berries. Available at Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.691.3500.

40 Austin Woman M a y 2 0 1 2

❱❱ Imagine by Lollia will have you feeling floral in no time, featuring fragrances of orchid, flowering willow and jasmine. Available at Luxe Apothetique, 11501 Century Oaks Terrace, 512.346.8202.

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must list Summer Beauty Guide Sun Care

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Don’t forget to give your locks some TLC too. Aveda Hair Veil reduces color fading, damage and dryness from sun exposure. $26, available at Avant Salon, 507 Pressler St., suite 800.

A little goes a long way with 5-in-1 Face Cream by First Aid Beauty. A small dab brightens skin tone, provides SPF 30 coverage, soothes irritated skin and protects natural collagen. $38, available at Sephora, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.327.4600.

➷

➹ For streak-free legs with no extra moisturizers needed, lather on Hampton Sun’s Sunless Tanning Gel. The chamomile and aloe vera leave your skin silky smooth and evenly tanned. $32, available at hamptonsuncare.com.

Aside from giving your face a natural-looking tan, these handy cloths also contain ingredients that reduce fine lines and wrinkles. Somerville360 Face Pads, $45, available at Sephora, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.327.4600.

42 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

Give your foundation a boost with Chantecaille’s SPF 50 Primer. It protects your skin with UVA and UVB shields while keeping your coverage from giving in to the elements. $85, available at Neiman Marcus, 3400 Palm Way, 512.719.1200.

Undo the damage with Murad Intensive-C Radiance Peel. Ingredients reverse the effects of sun, smog and stress. $49.50, available at murad.com.

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must list Summer Beauty Guide Smashbox’s BB Cream with SPF 35 can be worn alone or under your favorite foundation or powder. The cream will keep your skin shine-free while giving it extra hydration. $39, available at Nordstrom.

makeup

Estée Lauder’s Sumptuous Waterproof Mascara is perfect for hitting the pool or the gym. It’s smudge-resistant and keeps your lashes soft and plump, unlike many waterproof formulas. $21, available at Nordstrom.

Stay on trend this season with an orange-red lip. The stain goes on lighter than lipstick and finishes with a gloss. YSL Glossy Stain in Orange de Chine, $42, available at Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.691.3500.

Because it was developed for the Austin climate, rest assured that Rae Cosmetics’ Climate Control Mineral Tint will stand up to the summer heat. The oil-free formula evens out skin tone and looks flawless after a run on Lady Bird Lake. Available at Rae Cosmetics, 1206 W. 38th St., 512.320.8732.

Smear on some sparkle with Just Jill’s crème eye shadow in Gold Frost. The crème dries instantly and lasts through sweat and humidity. $19, available at Lighten Up, 8229 Shoal Creek Blvd., Suite 107, justjillcosmetics.com.

This lightweight foundation blends with your natural skin tone and contains SPF 15 and vitamin E. Liz Earle Sheer Skin Tint, available at uk.lizearle.com.

44 Austin Woman M a y 2 0 1 2

Go for the Giddy Pink shade of bareMinerals blush for a barely there pop of color. $19, available at Luxe Apothetique, 11501 Century Oaks Terrace, 512.346.8202.

must list /

Guilty Pleasure

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CaregiverU presents an education program that equips family caregivers with eﬀective tools that make caregiving less stressful, and teaches families how to successfully manage the demands of caregiving.

Photo by Ryann Ford.

How about a guilty pleasure and a great gift for moms, grads and blushing brides that will definitely not be returned? Austin’s newest “green” spa, Hiatus, offers an exclusive H-Circle membership that includes one Hiatus Essential Service per month and significant discounts on all spa services offered at the spa. Platinum membership is as low as $59 per month and allows you to pamper yourself or a loved one with a choice of a relaxing massage combining Swedish massage and aromatherapy, a customized facial, an exfoliating body scrub, a revitalizing body wrap or a manipedi retreat. Hiatus provides a guilty pleasure that is welldeserved and appreciated month after month.

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- Dripping Springs Dripping Springs UMC Thursdays Mondays April 26 - May 31 April 30 - May 11 Community Resource Center

- South Austin St. Catherine Church Wednesdays Sept 4 - Oct 10

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Henda’s Law...

Did You Know...

Dense breast tissue makes it more difficult to identify abnormalities on a mammogram? thanks to henda’s law, starting january 1, 2012, the mammogram facility is required by law to tell you if you have dense breast tissue.

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On completion of a mammogram, a mammography facility certified by the United States Food and Drug Administration or by a certification agency approved by the United States Food and Drug Administration shall provide to the patient the following notice: if your mammogram demonstrates that you have dense breast tissue, which could hide abnormalities, and you have other risk factors for breast cancer that have been identified, you might benefit from supplemental screening tests that may be suggested by your ordering physician...

foodie alert

Restaurants for Celebration

Akaushi beef carpaccio; a bahn mi, served on a crusty, house-made French baguette; and the noodle bowls accompanied by lettuce, herbs, cucumbers, carrots and roasted peanuts in a flavorful broth. Specialty French desserts include bonbons, eclairs, macaroons and cream puffs. Oooh la la! Elizabeth Street Café, 1503 S. First Street, 512.291.2881, elizabethstreetcafe.com.

New and unique restaurants added to the Austin dining scene. By Nicole Carbon The month of May gives us so many reasons to celebrate, Mother’s Day and graduation to name a couple. A wave of new restaurants has come on board in the Austin dining scene, with diverse menus and atmospheres giving us unique choices to celebrate these special occasions. We’ve rounded up Austin’s hottest new restaurants perfect for lunch with Mom and Grandma, an intimate meal with a loved one and a place to bring the entire family. Elizabeth Street Café Leave it to Larry McGuire, the chef and owner behind Lamberts, Perla’s and the newly opened Fresa’s Chicken Al Carbon, to fill a void in the Austin dining scene with Elizabeth Street Café, serving French-Vietnamese cuisine in a quaint setting in the former Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse space on South First Street. Moms will love the delicate decor with soft pastel colors of blues and pinks. Seating includes outdoor tables set for four, a marble-top bar perfect for a quick coffee and pastry, and thoughtful banquets in a dining area set off to the side. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner, the menu is composed of classic Vietnamese fare that is fresh and tasty. The chef recommends these (and I can attest) not-to-be missed menu items: the rice paper and vermicelli spring rolls; the Texas

Lenoir Just a bit farther down the street, a new restaurant endeavor was opened by husband-and-wife team Todd Duplechan and Jessica Maher, called Lenoir. Duplechan was the chef de cuisine at Four Seasons’ Trio and Maher most recently worked with Dai Due. The couple can be found in the intimate space that seats only a lucky few each evening. A three-course menu is offered for $35 (an additional course can be added for $10) and is categorized as field, sea, land and dream. We fell for the chickpea panisse (field) with oyster mushrooms and poached egg; fish curry (sea); axis venison (land) and splurged on the Poteet strawberry pie (dream) with decadent malty riced milk and caramel rice flakes. The couple enlisted close friend and award-winning sommelier Mark Sayre of Trio to compose the interesting and well-priced wine list. While the restaurant is closed on Sundays, this is the perfect weekday or Saturday-night date spot for husbands to show their appreciation to the mother of their children. Lenoir, 1807 S. First Street, 512.215.9778, lenoirrestaurant.com. Olive & June Chef Shawn Cirkiel continues his group of successful restaurants (Parkside and Backspace) with this authentic

Elizabeth Street Café

Italian eatery in the Bryker Woods neighborhood. Cirkiel named the restaurant after his grandmother and his wife’s grandmother, and it’s definitely a place where the whole family is welcomed. The restaurant is housed in the former El Arbol space that was well-known for the massive three-tier patio and inviting interiors. Cirkiel left most of the structure the same, with just a few small tweaks to make everyone feel welcome. We especially loved the large white-leather banquettes and family-style dining table on the first floor with front-row views in to the kitchen. Cirkiel is joined by Chef Justin Rupp and Pastry Chef Steven Cak to offer diners true Italian fare, including menu offerings from the piccoli piatti (small plates) section, perfect for sharing. Try the fried artichoke and the crudo to start before moving on to the farm egg and pork meatballs. The meaty grilled swordfish was finished off with pistachio and capers, and we shared the familystyle sides (contorni) of white beans and lacinato kale. Delizioso! Olive & June, 3411 Glenview Ave., 512.467.9898, oliveandjune-austin.com.

TELL US WHAT YOU THINK

Austin Woman READERSHIP SURVEY Participants are entered for a chance to win a one-night stay at W Austin (valued at $450) and the Mom’s Favorite package (valued at $275) courtesy of AWAY Spa by W Austin. The package includes a 75-minute AWAY Massage, Classic Radiance Facial and AWAY Mani.

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gourmet /

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gourmet /

foodie alert

Whole roasted chicken with tomatillo and ancho chile sauce. Find the recipes for the photographed dishes in the extended article on austinwomanmagazine.com.

Turtle Creek Pie

The Mansion on Turtle Creek Cookbook An insider dishes about what it's like to write a high-profile cookbook. By Helen Thompson It was two years ago that my agent, Janice Shay, called me with good news: Rizzoli, the prestigious publishing house, was interested in doing a cook-

50 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

book on legendary Dallas restaurant The Mansion on Turtle Creek—and they wanted me to write it. Most of my career has been devoted to writing about architecture and interior design, but ever since my years at Texas Monthly magazine, where I started out writing and editing restaurant reviews, I’ve maintained an active interest in food and have authored a number of cookbooks. Putting together a cookbook is a complicated undertaking, kind of like orchestrating a feast for thousands of readers, except that the preparation takes years instead of days. It has been 25 years since The Mansion’s first (and only) cookbook. That book, also entitled The Mansion on Turtle Creek Cookbook, was written by Dean Fearing, the innovative chef who is most identifiable with the swanky Dallas-landmark restaurant. Many chefs have come and gone since then, each arrival and departure feverishly reported by the Dallas press. But no chef

had made a mark the way the charismatic Fearing has. Founder and owner Caroline Hunt was excited about commemorating the hotel and restaurant’s upcoming 35th anniversary with a cookbook. The restaurant had also settled down with award-winning chef Bruno Davaillon, and Hunt was eager to celebrate his imaginative contribution to her famous dining room. You might now be thinking that I went to Dallas, stayed at The Mansion for weeks and did nothing but eat. That’s partly true, because early on we had to decide what

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Setting the Standard in Security.

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foodie alert

[Continued from previous page] recipes to include. That process took four months. Here were the considerations: The recipes needed to represent a range of dishes from appetizers, soups, salads, fish, game and fowl, sauces and sides, brunch, cocktails and desserts. The recipes also had to appeal to home cooks with different levels of talent. And finally, because The Mansion has always been at the forefront in sourcing food from local vendors, we all wanted to have recipes that showcased locally grown ingredients. That was so important that we included the growers in the book; I interviewed them all, Robert Peacock photographed them and their stories are in the book. We ended up including more than 100 recipes. When it was time for me to start eating, it was also time to shoot the images for the book. Our team consisted of me, Shay (the organizing genius), the photographer and his assistant, a food stylist and an assistant, and the chef and two assistants. The Mansion booked us in for two weeks in February that were their slowest. We would take over several rooms to shoot the dishes, the chefs would be cooking nonstop, and I’d be there interviewing everyone, from Hunt to the concierge to the chef, waiters and bartender. Plus, I had three huge

boxes of scrapbooks and newspaper clippings to sort through. The Mansion’s history is colorful (such as the face-off between Paul McCartney and Nicholas Cage in the bar), and we didn’t want to leave anything out. Images of the food were shot at a breakneck pace of one per hour, which barely allowed for getting the lighting right and styling food, china and the background. Having the images at hand inspired us as I dug into those boxes and as our team tested the recipes and made sure that the recipes say what they are supposed to say. And then there was the multitasking. Shay designed the book. As the PDFs arrived in my email last year for proofing, it was a thrill to see what we had spent so long visualizing. And, now that the book is finally out, all we have to do is sit back and wait for the reviews to come in—and hope the reviewers actually look at the book, don’t have an agenda (who knew cookbooks could be political?) and that they truly love food. Helen Thompson writes about Texas architecture and interior design for her blog, seeninhouse.com. Her recent books are San Antonio Classic Desserts, The Big Texas Steak House Cookbook and The Mansion on Turtle Creek Cookbook.

Chorizo-crusted halibut with white bean puree and stuffed piquillo peppers.

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fitness

Fit Mom, Healthy Baby Staying fit throughout your pregnancy and beyond. By Chrissie Jarrell & Natalie Yerkovich Fitness is about more than just working out, especially for expecting and new moms. This month, we brought together four experts on women’s health and fitness to give you a wellrounded look at what it means to be fit and healthy during pregnancy and after birth. Every woman and every pregnancy is different, so consult your obstetrician before starting anything new while pregnant or nursing. Leeann Marcie, business director, Fitness Institute of Texas

Health Dr. Jen Mushtaler, FACOG Founder of Capital Ob/Gyn Associates of Texas (capobgyn.com) Pregnancy is a wonderful opportunity for women to embrace their health and the health of their unborn child. Here are a few guidelines to make sure your fitness routine is healthy for mom and baby: B Most women who have been exercising regularly prior to pregnancy can and should continue during pregnancy. B In general, it is recommended to include at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise four to five days per week. Anaerobic exercise can compromise blood flow to a developing baby and should be avoided. B Pregnant women experience a shifting of their center of gravity during pregnancy that may alter balance. Select fitness activities that pose a low risk of falling. B Women can sunburn more easily during pregnancy and bad burns can be dangerous for mother and baby. Be sure to apply sunscreen before exercising outdoors.

Diet Jess Kolko, RD, LD Healthy-eating registered dietitian and culinary educator at Whole Foods Market’s global headquarters; Co-founder of the Nutrition Hotline (nutrition.pockethotline.com) Nutrition is a key component

54 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

to your overall health during pregnancy and after birth. Here are some important things to consider: B A common misconception is once you’re pregnant you are eating for two. However, during your first trimester, your calorie needs do not change. Calorie needs are increased in the second and third trimesters by about 300 calories. Three hundred calories is about a cup of brown rice topped with three-fourths a cup of black beans per day—a lot less than you may think. B Calcium needs increase during pregnancy to about 1,200 milligrams per day. It is important to get enough calcium so that your bones stay strong to reduce your risk for stress fractures from exercise both during and after pregnancy. B A cup of coffee or two is OK and sometimes the saving grace of any athlete. Just don’t go overboard. A cup is 7 to 8 ounces of brewed coffee, not a 24-ounce latte. B Eating for two really happens when we are breastfeeding. A woman needs 600 extra calories a day to keep up with milk production. Try having something small like a piece of fruit at each feeding to keep up with baby’s demands. B Stay hydrated! Fluid needs increase during breastfeeding. If you are getting back to your regular exercise routine, breastfeeding and living in Texas, keep a water bottle full and nearby at all times. Adding a low-calorie, naturally sweetened electrolyte supplement (like U from nuun) to your water on occasion can be helpful as well to maintain electrolyte balance in the body.

body Dr. Laurie Buob, MS, DC, FASA Founder and physical therapist at Austin Family & Sports Chiropractic (austinfamilyandsportschiropractic.com) Your body will change during pregnancy due to weight gain and hormone changes. This can mean changes in body alignment, flexibility and body dynamics. Here are a few changes you may experience: B The force to the joints in your body can increase by up to two times. Swimming and water workouts are great, especially during the third trimester, because they decrease the load on all your joints. B The laxity (or flexibility) in your joints increases due to the hormone relaxing. This allows your tissue to stretch and increases your tendency for injuries like ankle sprains, and creates instability in the lumbar and cervical spine. Be sure to wear comfortable shoes with ankle and arch support to prevent injuries. B The anterior tilt of your pelvis will increase, which increases the use of your hip extensors, abductors and ankle muscles. If you are having back, pelvic, hip or other pain that is affecting your activity of daily living, ask your OB for a recommendation to see a physical therapist or chiropractor. Chiropractic care can help you to maintain a healthier pregnancy; control symptoms of nausea;

reduce time of labor and delivery; relieve back, neck and joint pain; and prevent a potential cesarean delivery.

Fitness Julie Drake, (left) operations manager; Leeann Marcie, (far left) business director, Fitness Institute of Texas, (edb.utexas. edu/fit) Drake and Marcie continued to exercise throughout their pregnancies. Here are a few tips on exercising safely and effectively: B During pregnancy, your pelvis can tip to counterbalance the load. This tightens the hip flexors and lower back Fit mom muscles and weakens your hamresources: strings. Doing exercises to stretch The American or strengthen these muscles College of Obstetrihelps prevent back pain and cians and Gynecolokeeps your core strong. Muscles gists’ exercise to stretch: low back, hip flexors, guidelines: acog.org chest, quads (avoid over-stretchFitness Institute of ing). Muscles to strengthen: Texas’ programs and glutes, hip extensors, hamstrings, body testing: edb.utexas.edu/fit upper back, pelvic floor. B After delivery, get docGoTribal podcast by tor’s approval before you start Dr. Mushtaler about endurance athletes and exercising. Generally light to pregnancy: moderate aerobic exercise, such gotribalnow.com as walking, is safe after four to Pure Barre’s New Moms six weeks. Bounce Back program: B Start over with your purebarre.com weight-training routine. Begin Kula Yoga Center, with one set of 10 to 15 reps prenatal and parent of eight to 10 exercises, one to and infant yoga classes: two days a week. austinkulayoga.com B Take it easy on your Mama Baila, pre- and abs. Your abdominal muscle that postnatal dance classes: runs from your breast bone to mamabaila.com your pelvis has been stretched MyFitList, find fitness and weakened for nine months. groups for moms, Start with exercises like planks, women only, and mom and baby: myfitlist.com and progress to crunches slowly.

Chrissie Jarrell and Natalie Yerkovich, the gals who created myfitlist.com, do the grunt work for you. Well, the organizational grunt work, anyway. They work hard to connect people with the fitness groups, information and resources they need so they can grunt, sweat and tone to achieve their personal goals.

FITS MY GOALS. “THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT WERE DEVELOPED AS A RESULT OF MY PARTICIPATION MADE SUCH AN IMPACT ON ME. Even if I don’t speak with former classmates or professors on a regular basis after graduation, I know I can contact any one of them without hesitation for advice or assistance.”

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Keeping Fit as a Family Four fun events that appeal to the whole tribe. By Erica Todd As National Geographic noted, Austin is one of the top outdoor hubs in the country, an ideal place to have a family-fitness adventure. Here, you’ll find a quartet of fun fitness activities that will help to boost your health while celebrating your family spirit. Choose to run, cycle or swim (there’s even the option to mix it up). What’s more, the memorable moments that you share with your family during these fitness events can also benefit other families in need.

Tour de Cure May 5, Travis County Expo Center, 8.45 a.m. Set among the renowned Texas Blackland Prairie ecosystem, the 2012 Tour de Cure will take place for the first time as a standalone event in Austin and the surrounding counties. If your family enjoys biking, then this event affords you the opportunity to pedal together and enjoy the accompanying native, grassy landscape. Cyclists of varying fitness levels are encouraged to participate; there are five possible distances to choose from, ranging between 15 and 100 miles. This event benefits the American Diabetes Association and celebrates camaraderie. Anyone with diabetes can cycle as a Red Rider as part of the diabetic community, while family and friends can show their support by riding for Team Red. The jubilant atmosphere of the tour is continued through the entertaining Kid Zone and the live performances by Austin musicians Gina Chavez,

56 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

fitness Little Beverly & the Shades and ComeDrumforFun. For more information, visit the Austin location section of tour.diabetes.org.

Oyster Race

The Money Box Capital 2K Open Water Race and Pledge Swim May 5, Lady Bird Lake, beginning at 10:30 a.m. Billed as “the only downhill swimming race in Texas,” the Capital 2K swim is a great way to have fun, stay healthy and remain cool as summer looms. Now in its 10th year, the race has been rated among some of the best swimming events locally and nationally. The course takes place on Austin’s treasured Lady Bird Lake. Adults, high-school students and youth swimmers ages 12 through 14 are invited to take part. Anyone who prefers to support racers from the sidelines can select the option of viewing the race from the comfort of a double-decker boat as part of the Money Box Capital 2K Cruise. At the conclusion of the race, there will be food, performances by Austin musicians and awards at Eilers Park/Deep Eddy Pool. The swim raises awareness and support for prostate cancer, benefiting Us TOO International and the Prostate Cancer Foundation. For more information, visit cap2k.com.

Congress Avenue Mile May 19, Capitol, 8 a.m. With the Texas Capitol as a grand backdrop, the Congress Avenue Mile allows you to run in familiar territory. The event, which began in 1990, is renowned for being relatively hassle-free for all concerned because it’s not a huge time commitment, and the distance isn’t too far, but long enough to get you energized. Runners head down Congress Avenue and across the bridge, making it convenient for runners and spectators. The all-ages race has an untimed Family Fun Run option, in addition to being open to competitors wanting to enter the men, women or high-school divisions. Participants younger than 8 to those older than 70 are recognized for their efforts in the Age Group Awards. The Congress Avenue Mile kicks off with a pre-race party at Changos Taqueria, featuring live music, Olympic speakers and all-natural food. Benefiting from this event is the RunTex Foundation, a nonprofit organization that works to improve community fitness by supporting a variety of programs and charities. For more

information, visit congressavenuemile.com.

Oyster Race May 20, 828 W. Sixth St., 8 a.m./10 a.m. (full/half course) If your family enjoys running, biking and paddling, the Oyster Race is a great option that allows you to combine all three, and more. Although swimming is technically not a factor, organizers say they “reserve the right to get you wet.” Referred to as a “wilderness eco challenge/Amazing Race” that takes place in one day, this event prioritizes teamwork. The course is kept secret until the race begins, and three members must participate together to complete each leg. The race is open to participants 16 or older (12 or older with a parent or guardian), and teams can have a non-racing support member for equipment or hydration assistance. To suit their comfort level, racers can choose between the different divisions and two possible course lengths (the full 20 to 30 miles or the half course). At the after party, everyone celebrates their accomplishments with Chipotle burritos, beer and awards. The beneficiary of the Oyster Race is Camp Kesem, a summer camp run by college students for children whose parents have cancer. For more information, visit oysterracingseries.com/austin.php.

Left photo by Rick Kent, Enduro Photo; right photo by Katie L. Robinson.

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The Mother Load Managing the emotional stages of motherhood. ByJill Case In her book The 7 Stages of Motherhood, Ann Pleshette Murphy says, “Motherhood is the ultimate never-ending story; we may become less central in our children’s lives, but we never separate completely and neither do they.” When you hold that tiny newborn in your arms, you cannot truly imagine how your life will be changed year after year. Each stage of your child’s life, from birth to adulthood, requires adjustments and transitions, some easy and some extremely difficult, but all are inevitable. For your child’s sake, your significant other’s sake and especially for your own sake, it’s important to take care of yourself and allow yourself the time and space you need to adjust to each new phase in your child’s life. INFANCY Hormonal fluctuations cause many new mothers to get the “baby blues,” with symptoms like crying, mood swings and anxiety. These symptoms should last only a few days to a couple weeks. If symptoms persist after two weeks, you should talk to your doctor because you may be dealing with postpartum depression or even postpartum psychosis. This will cause more serious symptoms such as insomnia, appetite loss, severe mood swings or even thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. These symptoms require immediate professional help. Sleep deprivation is another thing that can contribute to new mothers’ moods. Although it is hard to avoid, there are steps that mothers can take to help themselves feel better as they cope with “baby blues” and sleep deprivation. First of all, do not hesitate to ask for help from your husband, family and friends. They want to help, so let them! Secondly, sleep as much as you can when the baby naps. If you have other children, try to sleep during their naps or arrange for them to have a play date. Finally, try to get some physical exercise—nothing strenuous, just a walk to get you moving. Learning to care for yourself is part of learning to be a mother. TODDLER AND PRESCHOOL YEARS Sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion continue to be a part of most mothers’ lives as they deal with the whirlwind of physical activity that accompanies toddlers.

58 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

wellness With so many milestones happening in the first two years of your child’s life, it’s natural to worry about your child’s progress. It’s also natural to compare your child to every other child his or her age. If you aren’t doing this yourself, your relatives and other mothers will do it for you. How can you deal with the anxiety of worrying whether your child measures up? The only people who really need to monitor your child’s milestones are you, your partner and your pediatrician. It should not be anyone else’s concern. Try surrounding yourself with mothers who are positive and dump the ones who constantly compare their child with yours if they do it in a negative way. Learn to politely but firmly dismiss relatives who insist that “you were potty-trained at 9 months,” or “you were talking in sentences at 12 months.” Clearly, memories fade and can be unreliable, and you and your partner are not your child; he or she is a unique individual who will progress at his or her own rate. If you are concerned, talk to your pediatrician to get an unbiased opinion. THE SCHOOL-AGE CHILD Get ready to be pushed and pulled in every direction. If you work full time or part time, you are trying to juggle your work schedule with after-school care and activities, and if you are a stay-at-home mom, you are probably picking up a lot of volunteer duties during the day at your child’s school, along with after-school activities. How do you juggle it all without losing your mind? The most important thing is to refuse to feel guilty. This is difficult, but important. When you have to miss a school function, try to get someone to tape it for you or get another family member or friend to attend. When you have to miss a meeting at work, tell them that your family is important too, and you will make up the work or use your vacation days. If you can’t take on

a duty at school when you are asked, offer to do something else at another time or ask if there is a different task you could manage. Just do the best you can, and remember, the world will go on even if you don’t do everything for everyone every minute. TEENAGERS! Whatever happened to the little girl who used to throw her arms around you or the little boy who couldn’t wait to kiss you goodnight? Where is that child and who is this new person living in your house? Adolescence is a traumatic time filled with changes for both you and your child. Some of the toughest things to deal with are the emotional ups and downs. Teenagers often lash out at mothers because they feel secure in doing so; they know you will love them no matter what. How do you survive the tumult and know that deep down they still love you? First, understand that the disconnect you feel is a natural and normal part of development. Children this

SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP It is important to remember that you are not Super Mom. Sometimes you may need the help of a professional to deal with your emotions. You may want to seek help if: R You are exhibiting signs of serious depression or suicidal thoughts. Call 800.273. TALK (8255). R You are having trouble controlling your anger, leading you to physically or emotionally harm your child. Call 800.4.A.Child for help.

age begin to form their own identities and prepare for adulthood by associating more with their peers. It’s not personal. Second, be there for your children—at their events and when they need to talk— but start to be there for yourself again. Take time to develop new interests or nurture old ones. You are preparing for a new stage in your life too.

THE EMPTY NEST Some mothers dread it. Others can’t wait. Either way, going from having a child R You are experiencing substance abuse of any in your home day in kind. Call 800.662.HELP and day out to having (4357). an adults-only home is a shock. Murphy R You are dealing with puts it perfectly domestic violence. Call 800.799.SAFE (7233). in The 7 Stages of Motherhood. She says, “Just as we had to prepare ourselves for the tremendous impact our children’s arrival would have on our identities and on our relationships, the end of this stage of motherhood requires an equally dramatic—and far more heartwrenching—adjustment.” How will you cope?

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Introducing

Focus on your relationships again. Nurture your relationship with your partner, spend time with your friends. Even before your child leaves home, begin to make plans about what you will do with your partner or your friends, perhaps even plan a trip together. This will give you something to look forward to, especially in the early empty-nest days.

Dr. Davidson considers it a true honor to be of service to her patients. A mother to three children, Dr. Davidson values the importance of family.

Brainstorm. Think about the hobbies or activities that you have put off during your child-rearing years, then seek out groups and classes. Finding yourself can actually be quite fun.

“I like to think of my patients as my extended family and I want to provide them with the same quality care I would provide for my own.”

Remember, motherhood is forever, but the emotions are ever-changing. Treat yourself well; there is no better mother than one who is emotionally healthy and nurtured from within.

Dr. Davidson is known to have a soft spoken tone and gentle manner that relaxes those in her care. She values the importance of quality dentistry and is committed to helping Austin achieve beautiful, healthy smiles.

Jill Case is an empty-nester, having survived and loved two daughters through all the emotional stages.

Dr. Angela Davidson

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mothers /

fertility

Motherhood (By Other Means) Medical advancements have revolutionized how and when we choose to conceive. A donor and a recipient share their experiences with medical-assisted fertility. By Joelle Pearson, Photo by Rudy Arocha THE EGG DONOR In a recent issue of Oprah, I read a profile of a woman who identified herself as a “serial de-clutterer.” Every week, she’d walk through her house with a box, scooping up non-essentials and donating them away. It gave her a sense of peace. I understood. I felt that way about my eggs. Initially, I wanted to donate my kidney after spending a teary afternoon in bed listening to a This American Life broadcast about waitlisted recipients. My mom said no. Unlike my kidneys, however, there is no evidence that forfeiting eggs affects long-term health or even reproduction. Only a small percentage of women are infertile, about 13 percent. But when denied what comes naturally for most, the desire to reproduce can become fierce and primal, illustrated best by buying a stranger’s eggs and surgically implanting them again and again, hoping one will stick like cooked pasta to a wall. As a 25-year-old, I can’t connect to these impulses. In The Female Brain, neuroscientist Louann Brizendine insists that one day my hormonal sea will shift and I will sail toward that goal with the same fervor I now only allot for my career. I see this as my own body mutinying, and only hope Dr. Brizendine is wrong. I believe that egg donation crosses every girl’s mind, especially if they graduate with a degree in the humanities. I first saw the ad for donors on craigslist, sandwiched between a call for female “figure models” and a want ad for a folk healer: EGG DONORS NEEDED— MAKE THE DREAM OF MOTHERHOOD A REALITY. And a little lower read: ~*~*~EARN UP TO $58,000~*~*~ I sat up a bit. $10,000 for a vial of my eggs may seem overpriced for a commodity that’s not exactly in short supply. There are 3.5 billion women in this world, each carrying up to 2 million eggs. But as it turns out, a good

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Dr. Walden with her twin sons, Houston and Rex

donor is hard to find. A woman’s fertility peaks between the ages of 22 and 26, on average. Since donating an egg can involve six to 10 weeks of hormone therapy, travel, hospital visits and recovery, donors must not only be of the right age, they also must be diligent, flexible and very, very good sports. They’re scouted by donor agencies, middlemen who connect donors and recipients, much like an agent connects broken-down musicians to frenetic producers. About 92 percent of applicants will be rejected, one coordinator admitted in an MSN interview, filtered by a lengthy screening test that considers genetic and personal factors. The ones that are accepted are exemplars of health, education and emotional balance, at least in the eyes of the agencies. First, there’re the basics, which are explored before an agency will recognize you: Are you 21 or older? Younger than 30? Do you smoke? Are you fat? Do you have a degree? Then come the advanced inquiries, asked only if you pass the initial round. I was mailed the 16-page list, which I filled out in a curious frenzy, slumped in my apartment. I then took a personality test that asked ques-

tions like, “I feel that my body is often inhabited by spirits: Y/N.” Then I submitted my SAT scores. Transcripts. Personal essays. Photo timelines. I laid myself out like a lovely genetic feast, hoping to ensnare a hungry hopeful. My agency said it could take up to six months, even a year, to be matched. I’d have to be patient. A few days later, my email lit up. “Congratulations!” it read. You’ve been matched. People had mixed feelings about my decision. Older women would touch my arm and say things like, “You are such a generous soul.” A Catholic friend from high school told me I was “tampering with God’s work.” I wasn’t thinking about altruism or God, or even my check. If a woman was that determined to conceive, she is going to be a damned good mother. Better than most, I believed. My broker flew me to San Francisco—my recipient’s home—to meet with doctors. In a soothing office overlooking Alcatraz, they explained the drugs I’d be injecting during the next few weeks: Lupron (to keep me from ovulating), Follistim (to stimulate my follicles), Menopur (to ramp up my egg production) and, finally, an HCG trigger big enough for a small horse (forcing my eggs to drop on cue). I’m a kale advocate who avoids Advil.

During her third pregnancy, Jules

Jules Elkins made her health and the health of her

Mom baby a priority. As

concerned

mother,

she

researched medical outcomes and chose Seton for its record of keeping moms and babies safe. “I was looking for statistics and discovered the Seton Safety Initiative. That’s why I “I’m fine with that,” I lied. “You may feel a little more sensitive, emotionally speaking,” the doctor warned me. “And those pants may not fit,” he added, pointing to my skinny jeans. Five weeks, 7 pounds and 12 nervous breakdowns later, I found myself back in San Francisco. My ovaries had swollen from the size of walnuts to the size of navel oranges; I felt them squish against my intestines as I walked to the clinic each morning for ultrasounds. Before my HCG trigger could be administered, I had to wait for my follicles to dilate, doubling in size. “You’re responding well,” the technicians said, popping up from between my legs. Most women drop one to two eggs in an ovulation cycle. With the help of the hormones, I dropped 60. They were vacuumed out, using a tiny needle that went through my vaginal wall and straight to the source. Some would be fertilized and implanted. The others would be frozen, donated to science or destroyed. “You’re like, an egg superstar,” my surgeon told me after the procedure. “We should put you on the wall!” But of course, that wouldn’t fit the decor. I’ve donated eggs again since then, to a lovely woman

chose to deliver at Seton.” To read more about why Jules trusted Seton to deliver her baby, please visit SetonBabyTalk.com/safety.

Ernest Amory Codman Award Maternity Quality Matters Award Inaugural HHSC Healthcare Quality Award

Does your doctor deliver at Seton?

SetonBabyTalk.com/doctors

mothers /

fertility

[Continued from previous page] in Portland who wrote me a heartfelt letter after she conceived using my eggs. It feels funny, knowing there’s a piece of me incubating inside another woman’s body. It also feels fulfilling, having connected another to their dream. Everyone asks, but the answer is: No, I don’t feel like I’m the baby’s mother—even a little bit. Mothers are made by love and sacrifice, not DNA.

THE SPERM RECIPIENT What Jennifer Walden wants, Jennifer Walden gets. “In my 20s and 30s, my only priority was to become a well-trained plastic surgeon,” she says. So she graduated from medical school (as salutatorian), completed her cosmetic fellowship in New York City and established a thriving practice in Manhattan in less than 10 years. Recently, she relocated the business to Austin so her twin sons, Houston and Rex, could be closer to their extended family. A ravishing woman, a flourishing business, two healthy sons, a network of supportive family members—there’s only one thing missing from this idyllic American story: a husband. As a dedicated surgeon, marriage was low on Walden’s priority scale. It’s not uncommon. More than half of adult women in America are unmarried, according to a recent story in the New York Times, and many report being perfectly content. When she felt her career was in a stable enough place to answer her final calling— motherhood—Walden set out to explore her options of conceiving using donor sperm. She was 38. She started with fertility tests. Her high FSH level (follicle-stimulating hormone, which encourages the ovaries to develop egg follicles) indicated that her body was having to work overtime to produce eggs. “In simpler terms, my clock was ticking,” Walden says. But before she could conceive, she’d need the other half of the equation. At California Cryobank, one of the largest and most prestigious donation centers in the United States, Walden began a stealth search for donor sperm. At first, she kept her decision private. She sorted through hundreds of donor profiles. “I knew more about my [chosen] sperm donor than any man I ever dated,” Walden says. Medical histories, interviews, psychiatric profiles, GPA and SAT scores—it was all there, down to religious preference. California Cryobank even offered celebrity look-alikes for donors, who can only offer baby photos in profiles. “I can’t say who the celebrity was...but it was one I liked and thought was very handsome,” Walden says. After selecting a match, Walden started with rounds of intrauterine insemination (or IUI, in which concentrated sperm are placed in the uterus after natural ovulation), with no results. It proved to be excruciating

62 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR FERTILITY If you’ve never discussed your fertility with your gynecologist, make it a priority, whatever your age. Even if you don’t want children now, you may later. There are many options for women when it comes to motherhood.

EGG FREEZING Doctors can now extract eggs from women in their 20s and 30s, and freeze them for use in the late 30s/early 40s. Using your own younger eggs drastically improves your chances of conception. This a great option for young professionals. (Cost: $12,000 to 15,000; usually results in 15 to 25 eggs.)

IN VITRO FERTILIZATION VIA EGG/ SPERM DONORS Women with fertility problems can find donors who match them in personality and appearance, fertilize donor eggs using their partner’s (or donor) sperm and carry the child to term. (Cost: $100 to $400 per sperm vial; $15,000 to $50,000 for donor eggs; $15,000 for average IVF procedures.)

Intrauterine Insemination IUI is a procedure in which sperm are placed directly into the uterine cavity through a catheter near the time of ovulation. This procedure is most commonly performed when there are

for Walden, who had to wait for 28 days between failed cycles. “As a plastic surgeon, I’m used to seeing immediate results,” Walden says. “IUI is a slow process.” The chances of conception decrease dramatically after the age of 30. Women between the ages of 35 and 39 have a 15-percent chance of conceiving with each ovulation cycle, given that they are in optimal health. At 40, that drops to 5 percent. “I’m a physician,” Walden reiterates. “I knew the stats. ... But it was a classic case of denial. I thought the rules sort of applied to everyone but me.” At 39, Walden was referred to Dr. James A. Grifo of the NYU Langone Medical Center. Grifo was candid: Conception would be difficult. “Good doctors give alternatives,” Walden says, remembering Grifo’s honesty. He explained her chances of getting pregnant using different methods after conducting a battery of tests, and even described one option of living a rewarding life without children. “I knew immediately that I would pursue in vitro fertilization [IVF]. I’m the kind of person who works for what I want. It became my passion. It had to happen.” IVF is a physically, emotionally and economically taxing procedure. Eggs are extracted from a woman’s body after weeks of hormone therapy, which stimulates egg

problems with the sperm or an incompatibility between the sperm and the cervical mucus. This procedure can be performed using donor/ partner’s sperm. (Cost: $200 to $700.)

ADOPTION According to UNICEF, there are more than 132 million orphaned children in the world. You can change an existing child’s life. (Cost: $7,000 to $30,000, on average.)

REMAINING CHILDLESS Social researchers have found that children do not make adults any “happier.” For many, friends, careers and personal satisfaction are more rewarding than motherhood. (Cost: free.)

production, and fertilized by sperm in a laboratory (in vitro, Latin for “in glass”). The “best” embryos are then transferred back into the cervix through a thin, plastic catheter. Then women sort of cross their fingers and hope one implants. Success rates vary drastically with age. Women who are 39—Walden’s age at the time—have a 22-percent chance of a live-birth result. Women who are 42 have a 9-percent chance. Yet after only three IVF cycles, Walden not only conceived, she also gave birth to twins. “I’d heard horror stories of women who try for five years,” Walden says. As for the cost? “Let’s just say I spent enough to buy a very nice car.” (A Houston publicist I interviewed admitted to 11 years of IVF therapy before conceiving. She took out a second mortgage and sold her Mercedes.) A ballpark average for one round of IVF, including fertility drugs and all medical procedures, costs about $15,000. On the walls lining Walden’s practice are embossed photos of the twins. They’re home with Walden’s mother now. She watches them at the nursery she installed for them at Walden’s childhood home, along with the help of two nannies, one for the week and one for the weekend. “I would throw myself into oncoming traffic for my sons,” Walden says. “They’re the most loved babies in the world.”

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care services

Mamas of Color Rising

Birth companions trained as part of Sankofa Birth Companion Training.

Helping uninsured and low-income women with healthy birthing options. By Darline Turner-Lee For most of us, we freely chose where and with whom we would deliver our babies. But if you are on Medicaid or an uninsured, low-income woman of color in Texas, your prenatal care and birthing options are shockingly limited. For this reason, Mamas of Color Rising, a collective of working-class and poor mothers of color based in and near Austin, has formed. “Mamas of Color Rising is an organization created by and for working-class women of color,” says Paula Rojas, one of the group’s organizers. “It’s not an advocacy group. It’s community-based women of color rising up and taking a stand for themselves.” Organized in 2009, MOCR has three main objectives upon which the group has focused. First, they launched an initiative to have Texas Medicaid reimburse Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) for both prenatal and delivery care. While this initiative has been approved by Texas Medicaid, implementation won’t begin until final changes, rules and regulations are made to the Texas Medicaid reimbursement guidelines. In order to ensure that low-income women of color have access to birth support, in 2011 MOCR trained 25 women of color as Doulas of North America certified birth companions via its Sankofa Birth Companion Project. MOCR raised the necessary funds for tuition so these women could participate in the doula-training program. In return, the certified doulas now provide birth support to low-income women of color free of charge. Finally, MOCR is working diligently to set up a free prenatal care clinic with nurse midwives and CPMs staffing the practice. The clinic will provide free pre- and postnatal care to women with Medicaid and uninsured women from volunteer midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, fitness instructors and nutritionists. The goal of the program is to demonstrate that providing quality midwifery care with a culturally sensitive approach will improve access to care and birth outcomes among low-income women of color. According to Amnesty International’s 2011 report titled Deadly Delivery, two to three women die as a result of childbirth complications every day in the

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United States. Each year, 34,000 women are near misses, meaning they had a complication that could have resulted in death but didn’t die. Low-income women and women of color are at increased risk of birth complications and death, and black women are four times more likely to die from complications than white women. Risk is not uniform throughout the United States, as a woman in Washington, D.C., is 50 times more likely to die than a woman in Maine. Texas has some of the worst pregnancy outcomes of all 50 states (nearly twice the national average, with some counties faring far worse than the national average), yet nearly half of the deaths and near misses could be avoided if women had access to quality maternity care. MOCR is working hard to end these disparities. If the group is successful in developing and implementing a low- or no-cost prenatal clinic in Austin, it will be able to lower the number of women receiving delayed or no prenatal care prior to delivery. Women who receive delayed or no prenatal care are four times more likely to die from childbirth complications. The no-cost care clinic will focus on: B Removing the barrier of cost/insurance coverage

B Removing language barriers by offering bilingual providers B Adequate staffing to better serve patients B Providing postpartum care and education B Providing care that is culturally sensitive and non-discriminatory This particular initiative could go a long way in solving many of the issues arising within the health-care debate. Women with Medicaid and low-income/uninsured women would receive quality, holistic care via a model that provides education and access to services currently not available to these women. It’s a less expensive model, so reimbursement (when provided) would save the state Medicaid system money. Finally, MOCR would be able to document that birth outcomes in Texas can actually improve and preterm labor and prematurity are reduced when all women have access to early, affordable, quality prenatal care, support, educational materials and postpartum care. To learn more about Mamas of Color Rising and to support the group’s efforts, visit mamasofcolorrising. wordpress.com.

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helping hand

Classic Violinist Pulls Strings for Survival Supportive housing leads to renewed hope. By Autumn Rhea Carpenter Graduate school, violins and the Japanese culture are not typically associated with homelessness. Yet in 2008, Sarah [real name withheld] fit this exact profile, as a Japanese-American armed with a recent college degree and graduate-school dreams. But she was also pregnant and homeless. The 22-year-old woman’s journey led her to Saint Louise House, where women with children can overcome homelessness. Sarah and her then boyfriend completed their undergraduate degrees, and daydreamed about their future. Then Sarah became pregnant, and the father lost interest. “He was older, and didn’t want to be a parent,” Sarah says. “Releasing that dream was painful, but soon, surviving daily life became my main priority.” Sarah is half-Japanese and remembers the shame her mother experienced raising her as a single mother. “Even today, there is a stigma associated with a failed relationship,” she says. “I didn’t want that for my daughter.” Sarah’s daughter was born with a brain tumor and serious spinal issues. Sarah’s struggles included finding safe housing, continuing her education and managing her newborn baby’s life-threatening health issues. Sarah reconnected with friends in Austin and discovered Saint Louise House, where she and her daughter received supportive housing. The organization was founded in 2000, and organizers

believe in the power of women to transform their lives by shaping an independent, selfreliant future. “The staff was incredible,” Sarah says. “My daughter is completely healed because they helped me find resources like Medicaid to cover the medical procedures. Saint Louise House is not the immediate helping hand, but they play a key role in solving problems.” According to the organization’s executive director, Sharon Bieser, Saint Louise House has served 126 families comprised of about 380 women, children and a few grandmothers. “One of the most difficult things we do is answer calls each day from mothers looking for a stable place for their families. It’s unfortunate, but some families have been on our waiting list for greater than six months,” Bieser says, adding that Saint Louise House needs to expand. “Our energy in the immediate future to is to meet our capacity of 46 families. We are serving 31 families, but we don’t currently have the resources to provide the supportive services for additional families.” Sarah’s terms for her stay include a weekly meeting with a case manager to establish short-term and long-term goals based on employment, education, money management, self-care, parenting, medical needs, support systems and community participation. In order to be accepted in to the program, applicants must also provide proof of income, a driver’s license, a social-security card and immunization records for each child. Sarah’s rent, based on a sliding scale, started at $20 per month. When she became more settled, that amount increased. Sarah enrolled at the University of Texas in the

MOTHER AND ME TEA TO BENEFIT THE SAINT LOUISE HOUSE Saint Louise House will host the 2012 Mother and Me Tea gathering May 6 from 1 to 3 p.m. at the Allen House, located at 1104 San Antonio St. There will be a high tea, children’s activities, a silent auction, a fashion show and an opportunity to wear tea-party finery. The event will celebrate mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, aunts and friends. Tickets cost $25, and funds raised will support the organization’s efforts to serve more families. Visit saintlouisehouse.org for sponsorship information, as well as details about the fun event.

66 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

violin-performance master’s program, and started her daughter at a local Montessori school. “Saint Louise House linked me to a program that paid my daughter’s tuition for the first six months,” Sarah says. Residents can change their futures by using the many available resources. “My situation was new and confusing and I knew that my life wouldn’t be desperate forever,” Sarah says. “There are women here who have suffered years of abuse, and it’s a lot harder for them to see the silver lining. It’s interesting how we all have different experiences that have led us to the same place.” When a woman isn’t pouring all of her energy in to figuring out how she’s going to feed her children today or if they’ll be safe tonight, she can use that energy to gain better employment or education, help her children with their schoolwork and provide the structure and stability they need to thrive. These days, Sarah has auditioned for a few orchestras and teaches lessons. She’s thankful that the Saint Louise House not only shared valuable life skills, but also provided her the mental space to learn how to use them. To learn more about Saint Louise House, visit saintlouisehouse.org. To volunteer, call 512.302.0027, and for admissions, call 512.326.2774.

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dealing with illness

Childhood Leukemia

came to changing Andrew’s diapers, they had to use gloves, because if the chemo gets on your hands, it can make your immune system drop significantly. And you cannot be even a little bit sick around a cancer patient. That was difficult, having to touch their 3-year-old with gloves, making him feel foreign. They minimized glove use as much as they could. “I didn’t think I would have to deal with The Escobedo and Martinez families bring cancer ever again,” Wendy says, referring to her hope and awareness to this deadly disease. husband being diagnosed with lymphoma while they were dating. “We could check it off. By Molly McManus It couldn’t happen twice, right?” Although there’s no correlation between her What do you do when you are faced with your child husband’s cancer and Andrew having leukemia, being diagnosed with leukemia? Two Austin mothers were it helped when it came time to shave Andrew’s forced to step up to the challenge, employing grace, hair. They showed him pictures of Dad with a optimism, honesty and strength to tackle this terrifyingly bald head, preparing him for what was to come, aggressive disease. Unfortunately, their stories are not attempting to comfort him during that process. entirely uncommon. Every four minutes, someone is Wendy is astoundingly encouraging about Andrew Escobedo diagnosed with leukemia, lymphoma or myeloma. Every what she went through, what other mothers 10 minutes, someone dies. Surprisingly, cancer is one of the are going through and how it’s possible to rise leading causes of death for children, with leukemia taking above such a traumatic experience. Wendy Escobedo more lives than any other cancer, according to lls.org. with her children “I’ve had so many moms tell me, ‘I don’t He had been sick but the doctors had dismissed it. know how you are doing it. I couldn’t handle it,’ When he didn’t get better, Wendy Escobedo took her son but you can. I’ve realized I have a lot of back to the doctor. On Nov. 17, 2010, Andrew Escobedo was strength. I mean, I watched my kid go to hell diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), a and back,” Wendy says, tearing up. “People cancer that affects the blood and bone marrow and can kill don’t realize what they can do until they’re in in a matter of weeks. He was 3 years old. that situation.” In an instant, the Escobedos’ world was flipped upside Andrew continues his chemo treatment, down. Andrew stayed in the hospital for a total of 47 days with Wendy crushing it into his apple sauce. due to unexpected complications with a stomach virus and The worst of it behind them, Andrew has until a rash on his foot, all while battling the leukemia. He 2014 before he can stop treatment. In the started chemo, was put on antibiotics and was unable to meantime, the Escobedos give back, getting walk. He was given steroids for 30 days, making him lash Andrew involved with fundraising events and out at his parents. organizations, including the Leukemia & “All we could do was laugh,” Wendy explains. Lymphoma Society. who has been in remission since 2006. She is active, However, seeing his demeanor change so drastically The mission of LLS is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, healthy and happy. Like Andrew, Hailey was diagnosed was one of the hardest parts for her. Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma, and to improve the with ALL just before her fourth birthday. Wendy was forced to leave her job for eight months quality of life of patients and their families. LLS was one of “We tried to celebrate her birthday when she got back to look after Andrew and her 5-year-old daughter, the first organizations that reached out to the Escobedos, [from the hospital], but she was not having it,” Hailey’s Olivia. With support from her husband, the couple providing them with necessary monetary support. Andrew mom, Kellie, explains. administered Andrew’s medications from home was selected to be Boy of the Year by LLS in 2012. He Hopped up on steroids, one of Hailey’s first memories through an IV. attends LLS events, influencing people to donate and of having leukemia was coming home on that day, seeing She and her husband also had to be very careful not to sharing his story. pink and Barbies everywhere, and then immediately going get sick from administering the chemo at home. When it The 2012 Girl of the Year is 9-year-old Hailey Martinez, upstairs and slamming the door. The family took turns wishing her a happy birthday. “We were like, ‘Can we come up there?’ She was like the beast in the tower. We were all afraid. What’s she going to Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Man and Woman of the Year Grand Finale do?” Kellie laughs. “I terrorize the tower,” Hailey jokes, in her best This gala event supports the South Central Texas chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and celebrates 14 impersonation of a monster. local candidates who have spent the past 10 weeks raising funds for blood-cancer research and treatment. Those The fact that this family is so unbelievably upbeat about who bring in the most money for LLS will earn Man and Woman of the Year titles. All candidates are raising funds in honor of Andrew Escobedo and Hailey Martinez, Boy and Girl of the Year, along with all patients battling this disease. their memories of Hailey’s battle only embodies their approach to life, one that Kellie refers to as the The Grand Finale includes dinner, drinks and a live auction. Attend this fun, elegant event while doing your part “glass-half-full” mentality. to help blood-cancer research. Table sponsorships range from $1,500 to $10,000. The event takes place May 4 at Kellie and her husband were completely naïve about 6:30 p.m. at the Driskill Hotel, 604 Brazos St. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit mwoy.org/sctx.

68 Austin Woman m a y 2 0 1 2

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mothers /

dealing with illness

[Continued from previous page] cancer prior to Hailey’s diagnosis; they had never known anyone to have it. Before knowing what was wrong, Kellie remembers the morning they took Hailey to the hospital, with doctors saying something was suspicious but they didn’t know what. They explained that the worst-case scenario was a bone infection. So that night when the doctors delivered the news that Hailey had leukemia, the couple was completely floored. After her diagnosis they noticed assorted signs on the wall, some reading, “You can beat cancer!” They spent the day on the fourth floor of the hospital, the cancer floor, unaware that it could be a possibility for their daughter. “In the beginning, all we could do was cry together,” Kellie recalls. “They were the roughest times we had as a couple. Is there ever a bigger stress in your life than losing your kid?” When Hailey first started treatment, Kellie was at the hospital at least four times a week. Kellie also had a 9-month-old baby and had to juggle her time making sure Hailey was getting the proper attention she needed while also giving all the love and support her son needed during such an essential time in his development. Hailey hated having to go to the doctor for chemo, as she was always bruised, sore and nauseous from the chemo and spinal taps they had to do regularly. How do

you explain to a 4-year-old that they could die? Kellie was honest, answering any questions Hailey had, explaining that if she didn’t take the chemo, she could go to heaven. Now, Hailey understands the gravity of this disease and that she survived it. One of the most important things to Kellie was ensuring Hailey had the most normal childhood possible. They kept her in school and she continued to play soccer throughout her treatments. The strength of these women is inspiring. The openness and willingness to Hailey Martinez share their stories begins to embody that same openness they had with their children during their battle, answering the tough questions and being the bright light their children needed. It is difficult to imagine that both Andrew and Hailey have

positive memories of being in the hospital, even during the worst of times. Can we talk about awarding these two women Mother of the Year? They undoubtedly deserve it.

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Soulful 73 courtney sanchez embraces her voice as a singer and an advocate for victims of domestic violence.

By Joelle Pearson Photographs by Melanie Grizzel styling by erika cerda, Makeup by Tiffany Taylor, Kiss N' Makeup, 512.388.1150, kissnmakeup.us. Shot on location at The Belmont.

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austinwomanmagazine.com 73

When Courtney Sanchez tossed her wedding ring in Lady Bird Lake, her first feeling was joy. As the family heirloom slid into the watery dark under a soft ripple, so did everything it represented. Then another feeling surfaced. “Holy s**t,” she thought. “He’s gonna kill me.” The gesture seemed to declare the end of a story that went on too long. After four years, her ex was in jail and she was safe, surrounded by friends on a lake in mid-spring. Sanchez knew, however, that some things never really end. They troll indefinitely in our subconscious. They can emerge years later, unexpected, when you’re happily remarried in a suburb, and dedicating your life to music and family and social justice. As a domestic-violence survivor and out of necessity, Sanchez has learned to deal with the after effects. Her abuser is still in the city; she bumps in to him unexpectedly sometimes when buying milk and sometimes when she’s performing. Today, however, her attitude is much different. She has replaced fear with fighting strength and silence with a clear, soulful voice. She uses it for singing in clubs, delivering public speeches, writing self-help books and for telling me, squarely, that she’s found her life’s mission: raising her family and helping other survivors. The stories Sanchez recounts are difficult to hear. The reason compelling women who stay in abusive relationships is a subject many people have difficulty comprehending. Sanchez had experienced abuse as a child. So why, as an adult,

74 Austin Woman M a y 2 0 1 2

would she choose to stay with another man who hurt her? Julia Spann, the executive director of the largest sexual and domestic violence shelter in Texas, should know these things. There has to be a reason why one-third of women report being abused by a boyfriend or husband, someone who supposedly cares for them. If human impulse is fight or flight, why did Sanchez do neither? Spann hears these questions often. “The warning signs aren’t obvious,” she says, adding that abuse tends to escalate, maybe starting with a slur, then a push and then a slap. Later, there will be an “episode.” And then the relationship often cycles between peace and violence until the victim seeks help. “We’re told that relationships are vital, and that we have to maintain them.” When you’re hurt by someone you love, it’s confusing. Although Sanchez never told her mother as a child, she was verbally, psychologically and sexually abused by her stepfather from the age of 9. Adults who were abused as children lose their ability to discern healthy relationships, Spann says. Dismissing all of the warning signs, Sanchez found herself five months pregnant and in the hospital after a brutal incident. And she returned to her ex, convincing herself that her unborn child deserved the intact family she never had. The relationship continued through the cycle of violence with four years of arguments, physicality, separations and remorse until one night Sanchez discovered a loaded handgun in his coat pocket. “Him beating me up, I could recover from,” Sanchez says. “But a gun just seemed so final. I said, ‘That’s it, Courtney. You’re done.’” She

quietly slipped out the door, put the children in the car and drove to SafePlace. Sometimes, the result of domestic abuse is grim. More than 1,000 women are killed each year by their partners. Sanchez’s story ended differently. Ten years after leaving SafePlace, she and her family split Sun Chips and soda at a mom-andpop diner. Her daughter bemoans the STAR test and begs to date boys; her husband of eight years, Paul, says it’s not going to happen. The children call him dad, and he refers to them as “my kids.” Paul plays a recording of the family singing together from his phone. As musicians, they have a propensity to break in to song like a Texas version of the Von Trapps. Sanchez is a strong believer in fate. “What’s supposed to be is what happens,” she says. If she had never met her abuser, then Brendan and Kendall wouldn’t be chattering about white tigers and fantasy prom gowns, and Sanchez would have a different perception of her life’s work.

···

“I always felt like I was living a double life,” Sanchez says, “the life with my abuser, and the life I wanted.” Now she lives a life she wants, a life that scarcely resembles her old one. It’s full of the things that create her identity: music, family and advocacy. At heart, she’s an artist and nurturer. When Sanchez attended college at the University of Texas, her original intent was to study law. Now she can’t really remember why she wanted to be an attorney, and laughs off the memory like recalling a bad date. When the economy crashed

Courtney with her son, Brendan and daughter, Kendall. [On Courtney] Gibson tunic, Not Your Daughter’s Jeans Alisha jeans, Cara Accessories bangles, Kendra Scott Elle earrings and Enzo Angiolini Implosion wedges, available at Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of Texas Highway, 512.691.3500.

Courtney Sanchez’s Causes Texas Council on Family Violence TCFV works to promote legislature that better serves Texas victims. The council focuses on awareness, education and changing the mindsets about gender roles, media coverage of abuse and subjects that perpetuate domestic violence. Sanchez frequently lobbies and speaks on the council’s behalf. Visit tcfv. org to get involved. SafePlace The first and most substantial community in Texas for survivors of domestic and sexual abuse. Visit safeplace. org for information on volunteering and donation opportunities. Hope Alliance Empowers victims of abuse through support while promoting community awareness and education. Like SafePlace, Hope Alliance provides direct services to survivors of violent crimes. Visit hopealliancetx.org for more information. Jonah Ministry A faith-based nonprofit designed to foster hope through the arts. Founded and run by Sanchez and her husband, Paul. Visit jonahministries.org for more information. Survive2Thrive Sanchez’s nonprofit effort that will create a network of resources for survivors. She hopes it will work hand in hand with organizations like SafePlace. Visit her personal webpage for information on upcoming fundraisers and announcements.

in 2008, Sanchez was laid off from her day job in the high-tech industry. She took it as a sign that she should pursue her callings instead of dedicating the best years of her life to a company that, in the end, didn’t know her name. She decided to make music, which had long been a source of joy and healing, a more serious priority. Her first gig found her back when she was 22. She was onstage at Zach Scott rehearsing, and a producer asked if she could sing. “I wasn’t really a singer, but I did. And I got the part,” she recalls, girlishly. About a year later in 1995, she was approached by The Atlantics, a variety band that needed a female vocalist. From then on, music has fit in to her life, even if it meant schlepping travel cribs to shows and hiding them in overhangs above horn sections. The Atlantics’ music swings between Motown and jazz, stepping in to soul, disco and funk as well. As a wedding band, the group has become well-recognized throughout Austin and the United States. (Modern Bride magazine listed them as one of the top 150 wedding bands in the country). Sanchez also lets her voice carry her independently. In recent years, she has booked solo per-

Lilith Fair” featuring her favorite Austin singers, which will take place at the One World Theatre in October. Music has been the consistent thread connecting the brighter points of Sanchez’s life. It serves as a form of therapy, and led her to important people. A few years after she left the shelter, she joined the cast of Zilker Hillside Productions’ Fame. One night, she and the members were killing time, joking between sets around the piano. “You know those jokes people tell at work that aren’t funny, but you pretend to laugh?” Sanchez says. She caught Paul stone-faced during one of those moments, looking down and shaking his head. She thought, I could hang out with him. Paul was not only a gifted tenor vocalist, but also a man who understood Sanchez’s past. Within a year, they were married and held a commitment ceremony. He was ready to be responsible for not only her life, but her children’s as well. What Sanchez needed turned out to be within her reach all along—respect, both for herself and from another. Many women who suffer from abuse early in life never fully recover psychologically. I ask Spann what made Sanchez different. In Spann’s opinion, relationships with Sanchez’s family and friends were the single greatest factor in her healing. Sanchez may have borne some years of trauma, but it was only because she wanted so badly for her family to function. Her children, who have a striking self-assuredness and are quick to smile, are a testament to her desire to be what she always strove for—to be a good mother. Within a few moments of meeting Sanchez for the first time, she will pull out her iPhone to show pictures of her family. Her daughter, Courtney with her mother, Brenda Hornaday Kendall, is now in high school. It’s easy to see why Paul is hesitant to let formances at weddings, private events and at her Kendall date; her fiery almond eyes exude her fundraising efforts. Every Sunday, she has a solo mother’s casual confidence, even in the photos show at Sullivan’s, where she covers everything Sanchez took after a silly, impromptu makeover. from Aretha Franklin to Adele. The co-ed crowd Brendan, Sanchez’s 12-year-old son, has an affinseems to enjoy her enthusiasm. At the last show, ity for soccer, and for the girls who follow him in six young ball-cap-clad men linked arms and hoards. He likes to have one or two close friends, sung along with her, swaying on their barstools. he says, and tries to look past their shortcomCurrently, she’s organizing something of a “mini ings. Together, they seem more balanced than a

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T Tahari dress available at Normal Rockwell Nordstrom, 2901 S. Capital of painting. Texas Highway, 512.691.3500. Paul’s presence has also helped to bring balance to both Sanchez’s life and her children’s. He has made professional sacrifices in favor of the relationship and the family, recently relinquishing a contract with the Houston Grand Opera to stay close to Courtney and the children. He continues to sing, working from home during the day and as a voice coach for students. With Paul’s help, Sanchez has been afforded the flexibility to find ways to give back to SafePlace and help other domestic- and sexual-abuse survivors. “When I walked into SafePlace after being out for a few years, I was such a hot mess,” Sanchez says. “But I knew I had to do something to give back.” For two years, that meant helping to coordinate the SafePlace walk. For four years, it meant assisting with fundraising efforts of their board. Her involvement ultimately led her to meeting both the vice president and the president of the United States while working, lobbying and speaking for the Texas Council on Family Violence.

In between, she organized donation drives that gather everything from diapers to gifts, and helped to refurbish portions of SafePlace through the nonprofit JONAH, which she founded with Paul. “When I first started helping SafePlace, I didn’t have a lot to give,” Sanchez says, referring to her then-tight financial situation. What she could give was the gift of art, something that helped her and many other families in similar situations thrive. The most tangible evidence of her work can be seen in the shelter’s computer lab, which JONAH helped to restore. What was once a drab concrete room that survivors and children used to reconnect with the world is now a well-stocked center decorated with cheery murals and chalkboard walls scrawled with uplifting quotes. Sanchez got an insider’s view of the financial stressors the nonprofit faces by serving on SafePlace’s board. When women have to be waitlisted for services, they feel discouraged and desperate. “I wanted to develop a way to relieve that stress,” she says. For the last two years, she’s been the fundraiser for her latest project, Survive2Thrive, which ultimately will result in an information database that will help SafePlace survivors with community re-integration efforts. Survive2Thrive will serve as an information hub that connects survivors with resources they need to re-establish their lives. Sanchez was inspired by the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation’s resource guide, in which resources are grouped online by city. Survive2Thrive’s information on childcare, career placement, housing and financial assistance will be organized similarly, which will help relocation efforts. It is designed to help women navigate questions and build an effective exit strategy, and maybe help them from entering a shelter situation. Sanchez spends her evenings writing, working on a self-help book, sharing her voice to help other survivors of domestic violence. “Even when your physical bruises heal, emotional ones linger,” Sanchez says. Her book in progress is an interactive resource for survivors. In three parts, it will help readers identify abusive relationships, whether they are as glaring as domestic violence or as subtle as an emotionally abusive friend. The first portion, a memoir, shares her personal journey. The second section will feature a guide to help readers take control of their lives and finances. The final portion is a journal. “Nothing helped me more than writing about my problems,” Sanchez says, remembering the

nights she spent at SafePlace writing what would become songs she now performs. Writing, she feels, helps survivors take the first non-verbal steps to address issues, which can be the most difficult part of recovery. “Courtney has found her voice, and she is using it,” Spann says. She isn’t referring to her public speeches or her lobbying efforts, at least not

completely. “Instead of seeing a dark part of her life as something to be packed away, she used it as an opportunity to bring focus and meaning to her life and her family’s.” “When I was younger, I always felt like I was sort of drifting through life,” Sanchez says. “But not anymore. I feel like I’ve found exactly what I’m supposed to be doing.”

SafePlace: Envisioning a community free of rape, sexual abuse and domestic violence. More than anything else, Julia Spann wants to put herself out of work. Unfortunately, the work she does seems to become more important every year. The need for services has increased enormously; she reports calls to SafePlace’s hotline jumped 30 percent last year alone. Established in 1977, SafePlace offers services to male and female survivors of domestic or sexual abuse. Services include one-on-one and group counseling, life-skills courses that range from parenting to personal empowerment, short- and long-term housing, daycare facilities and an on-site school, all of which also make accommodations for the deaf, handicapped and Spanish-speaking communities. Services are free of charge or heavily subsidized. It is one of the largest and most sophisticated shelters in all of America. Unfortunately, it’s also bursting at the seams. “We are almost always over capacity,” Spann admits. There is some room in group counseling, but only if you can come in immediately. For all other services, applicants must sometimes wait months. SafePlace is forced to give priority to men and women who have the fewest options and face the greatest danger, situations that are determined by staff. Tight economic times have tested the nonprofit. They’ve watched donations drop as needs have increased. Layoffs and financial hardships are stressors that make individuals with violent tendencies become explosive, and the incidences more severe. “It’s opportunistic,” Spann says. However, the economy isn’t the cause of an increase in violence; many families experience layoffs without resorting to violence. Spann believes SafePlace’s constant, aggressive outreach is simply reaching more people who are now coming forward. Statistically, domestic- and sexual-violence rates are difficult to track since less than 25 percent of such crimes are reported. But nonprofits and economic setbacks go hand in hand, and Spann, who has served for more than a decade, understands the ebb and flow of funding. SafePlace’s main strategy isn’t post-trauma care, but prevention. Through educational programs in schools that target at-risk youth, and life-skills classes, she and the staff hope to curb abusive behaviors in adolescents and help people distinguish healthy and harmful relationships. Even though the shelter’s rooms are frequently full, Spann and her associates can help make connections to helpful resources. “People recover when they have support, when they break their isolation,” Spann says, “either by coming to a place like [SafePlace], or by having loved ones tell you there’s another way. With a little help and information, people are amazingly resilient.” If you or anyone you know has been a victim of sexual or domestic abuse, call SafePlace’s free 24-hour hotline for advice on your first steps to healing. “It’s not our job to take care of battered men and women,” Spann says. “It’s everyone’s.”

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Family duos find success working side by side. Story By Julie Tereshchuk / Photos By Sadie Barton

There’s been a lot talked, written and even wept about the relationship between a mother and her daughter. But what happens to that dynamic when it moves from the home to the workplace? With that question in mind, we talked to two successful Austin businesswomen who now find themselves working with their daughters. Then we heard about another family duo in the same line of business. And given that we’re talking about longtime Austinite Matthew McConaughey and his mom, we decided to take some liberties with our theme by including a mother and her son as our third pair.

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WESTON LIPSCOMB, (Left) Realtor, 3 years CHARLOTTE LIPSCOMB Realtor, 28 years

Advice is a strange thing. It is so easy to give yet many of us find it extremely hard to take. Particularly if that advice is being given by a parent. Isn’t that the surest way to induce a rebellious-teenager or a pouty-toddler flashback? Not if you’re Weston Lipscomb. With a firm shake of her immaculate blond hair, the fifth-generation Texan smiles as she again gives thanks for having the kind of parent who she actively turns to for advice, often several times a day. And, in Weston’s situation, who wouldn’t when the parent in question is seasoned luxury-home Realtor Charlotte Lipscomb? With 28 years in what is surely one of the most crowded professional fields, Charlotte has thrived since starting her residential real-estate career as a single mother of two young daughters back in the 1980s. Yet, she has not forgotten the realities of the early days of her career. “I feel my children sacrificed a lot growing up. I was a single parent for many years, and real estate is a very time-consuming and demanding job,” she says. “But everyone has to work hard in life, and if real estate is in your heart, you are going to do great. And Weston is.” Charlotte’s early sacrifices have certainly borne fruit, and her many accolades and awards include being recognized as a member of Austin’s Elite 25 every year since it was established in 1994. (Specializing in luxury residential real estate in Central Texas, the Elite 25 comprises Austin real-estate agents who are in the top 1 percent of their industry.) Despite being a sought-out specialist in the luxury market, Charlotte points out that customer service is the primary focus for both Lipscombs. “Sometimes that means a condo for a son or daughter at UT,” she explains. “Sometimes that means it is investment properties we’re focused on for our clients. There is always a little bit of everything.” That variety means a constant flow of clients, listings, viewings and property tours all made even more accessible and available by the rise of technology in the realestate industry. And that is where Weston Lipscomb has made a major impact from day one, says Charlotte. “She brings a fresh look at technology for me,” Charlotte says, adding the continual updates Weston makes “really help with properties that either of us have listed, and we find it helps with overall recognition on Google.” For Weston, it wasn’t so much a case of if but when she would go in to real estate. That inevitable step happened a couple of years back, giving her the opportunity to put her business degree in marketing and management to good use. “I always wanted to prove myself, to build my own

business and work hard at that while also learning from Charlotte, the best teacher I could have,” says Weston, glancing toward her mother. And “Charlotte” it is, at least during working hours. “In the business world, I call her Charlotte because it is more professional when we are with clients or conducting business. I feel she is my colleague during the day, as opposed to Mom.” There’s as much friendship as mother-daughter bond to their relationship, says Weston. “We’ve always enjoyed each other’s company and communicated well. And we enjoy the same things outside of real estate, whether it is volunteering, cooking or traveling.” Charlotte agrees, adding a mother’s perspective to their shared lives. “What parent does not want their child to have opportunities? To be successful, to be happy and for life to go well for them? For her to share my passion and to be successful at it is just the icing on the cake.” Talking of passions, Charlotte has always been a dedicated community volunteer. It is work she loves. Thank goodness, as the list is long and includes the Junior League (after years as an active member, she is now a sustaining member) and the Heritage Society, where she recently volunteered as a docent on the annual homes tour. Charlotte also enjoys supporting the Women’s Symphony League and The Women’s Fund of Central Texas, which engages women of all ages in philanthropy,

supporting programs that directly benefit women and children. Once again, Charlotte’s been a great role model to her daughter. Weston’s list of volunteer activities ranges from Explore Austin, which mentors Austin’s underserved youth; the Umlauf Sculpture Garden; the Hill Country Conservancy; HAAM; KLRU Next; and (as the proud owner of Maizy and Leroy) the Humane Society. With a bustling day job filled with showings, viewings and client meetings, it is little wonder that much of the younger Lipscomb’s volunteer work is done late at night or early morning. When it comes to long hours, however, Charlotte Lipscomb holds her own. “She is the only one who emails me back at 1 in the morning,” says Weston. Even though Charlotte gently protests, proof of her work ethic came when an email question received a cheery 3:30 a.m. response from the inveterate night owl. Today Charlotte and Weston are business associates with Austin Portfolio Real Estate, which has partnered with the international-luxury arm of Keller Williams Realty. As classic and elegant as one of the multimillion dollar listings they represent, the pair exudes professionalism, confidence and ease—the perfect combination for ensuring the continued success of the Lipscomb name, whether it be mother or daughter.

austinwomanmagazine.com 79

GAY GADDIS (Right) President and CEO, T3, 23 years REBECCA GADDIS Public-relations specialist, T3, 3 years

The imposing front doors of the mid-century building swing open to reveal a structure transformed. Gone are the small, dark offices. Gone are the trappings of a bygone era. In their place is a vibrant, creative space with the strippedback concrete and utilitarian fixtures lending a distinctive Manhattan loft flavor. One of the few original features is a curving staircase that leads to the executive offices. When she’s home from one of her frequent business trips, that’s where you’ll find Gay Gaddis, founder of what is now America’s largest advertising agency wholly owned by a woman, with offices in Austin, New York and San Francisco. It’s been 23 years since Gay founded T3 (The Think Tank), and the last four years have seen some of the toughest transformations, reflecting the roiling changes wrought by the 2008 economic downturn. And although T3 has survived, she’s a realist about the ongoing challenging business environment. “This is the tough new normal. It is never going back to the way it was. We’ll always behave a little differently because of this deep recession the whole country has been in,” Gay says. It’s her high energy and drive that help keep T3 ahead of the curve, in one of the nation’s fastest-moving, everevolving industries. “We’ve been very fortunate in a lot of ways at T3 because we focused so long ago on new media and digital innovations,” Gay adds. As for that renowned Gaddis energy, it never stops. And it takes a rare individual to balance it. Enter Rebecca Gaddis, the yin to Gay’s yang. Rebecca’s was the guiding hand and discerning eye when completing the three-year, $14.5 million building-renovation project for T3’s Austin headquarters—no small project for her first as part of the T3 team, and a sign of the trust and respect Gay has for her daughter’s talents. Those talents were honed in New York City, where Rebecca graduated with a degree in marketing from LIM College, the former Laboratory Institute of Merchandising. “It’s a school for the business side of fashion, not design,” Rebecca explains. “I went on to work in PR and marketing in New York.” Her resume would make any stylista drool, including stints at Carolina Herrera, Giorgio Armani and respected luxury textile house F. Schumacher & Co. (The latter gave her the opportunity to work with designer Trina Turk on a campaign launching Turk’s Schumacher line.) Despite all the great times, by 2009, Rebecca was ready for a change. “By then, it was about five years of being in New York, and I’d had enough of being up there,” she explains. Ready but unsure what that change would be, she decided to head back to the town she was raised in, the town with family and friends in abundance. If she was unsure of her plans when she arrived in Aus-

80 Austin Woman M a y 2 0 1 2

tin, Rebecca quickly found a role very close to home. “2009 was when the bottom fell out,” Gay recalls of those days when business owners realized that the economic woes of 2008 were not going away anytime soon. “The beginning of 2009 was probably one of the roughest times of my career.” Rebecca stepped in at a crucial time. “We were in the throes of this building remodel. So, I needed her help so much,” Gay says. Having Rebecca on board allowed Gay to fully focus on the business. “I was able to go do what I needed to do.”

pressure of the advertising business, laughter is truly the best medicine,” Gay says. These days, T3 is quite the family firm. Gay’s husband, Lee Gaddis, is the longtime chief operating officer, while Ben, the oldest of the Gaddis boys, joined T3 before Rebecca and is now vice president of innovation and growth. Even though she hadn’t planned on working in the family business (as a child who loved animals, her early dreams were of being a veterinarian), when Rebecca did join T3, she felt the burden of the family name, but views it as an incentive to aim high.

Rebecca also began to help organize her mother’s many travel and speaking commitments. Today, that role has morphed and expanded to include both internal and external communications for the company. “I am promoting the brand by getting our people out there in speaking roles, submitting for awards, press and media placements, and also [managing] the internal public relations for the T3 brand,” Rebecca says. The two work closely together given that Gay’s role is focused on high-level strategy for T3 and the company’s clients. “My job is to be the ambassador for T3,” Gay says. They are in constant contact when Gay’s on the road, and when she is in the office, the two sit right next to each other. “It’s a good job. She’s gone a lot,” jokes Rebecca as Gay smiles broadly. “We make each other laugh almost every day. In the

“As T3 is our family’s business and since we hold a high standard for our employees, I did feel pressure to maintain that high standard. But I think that’s helped me to perform my role the best that I can,” the 28-year-old explains. Gay is a big proponent of the Myers-Briggs personality tests, and attributes the success of her working relationship with Rebecca to their complementary types. “Being different personality types really allows us to work better together,” Rebecca agrees. As for the ever-active Gay, who this year has managed to downsize the longtime family home and take up drawing again while still keeping up a punishing travel schedule, it’s clear that her own life has been transformed by working with her daughter and her son. “When they joined, it really changed how Lee and I felt about the company,” Gay says. “With the kids here, we see that it can continue on.”

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KAY MCCONAUGHEY (Right) Former model and kindergarten teacher, author, newly minted movie actress, less than 1 year MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY Movie actor, 19 years

Due in theaters April 27 and billed as a dark comedy, the latest movie from School of Rock and Dazed and Confused director Richard Linklater finally unites Kay McConaughey and her youngest son, Matthew, on screen, albeit, not in the role she’s been wishing for since Matthew began in films. For years Kay—or KMac, as she prefers—has been campaigning to play the screen mother to her real-life son. “It’s not up to me,” has always been his response. “I don’t do the casting.”

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And although longtime family friend Linklater cast KMac in a cameo role as the town gossip in Bernie, and not Matthew’s mom, the sprightly and über chipper KMac is happy. And so she should be. There are not many, if any, women who get their first movie role at 80, let alone in a movie that includes such Hollywood luminaries as Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. That’s correct, Bernie is KMac’s first venture on to the silver screen. To steal a line from Bernie’s publicity machine, hers is “a story so unbelievable it must be true.” During the swirling frenzy of Austin during South By Southwest, where Bernie had its world premiere at the redoubtable Paramount Theatre, KMac talked about her moviemaking experience with aplomb. Asked what Matthew thought of her performance, she’s quick to point out that Richard Linklater’s opinion as director was the crucial one. “I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that Rick was pleased with the way it went off. That’s what is important, that Rick was pleased,” she says. Mother and son share just one scene, in the local diner. How did that go? “Delightful,” says KMac. “Like I was just sitting there chatting with him.” Her son laughs at the memory of their scene together. “Crafty Rick, he puts my mom in the scene. I had no idea,” Matthew says. Interviewed just hours before the premiere, he adds, “She is having a great time with this film, and she is pumped up for tonight.” Clearly, his mom’s trips to several other red-carpet events as Matthew’s guest have rubbed off on her. Throughout the years, she’s also been a regular visitor to his movie sets. “One time I went to Australia,” she says of her globetrotting adventures. It’s not only his mother that Matthew keeps in close touch with. The 42-year-old and his

two older brothers, Mark and Patrick (aka, Rooster), “still talk a lot,” says KMac of her three boys, all raised in Texas. “I’ve been here over 55 years, and so I’m absolutely a Texan. I just happened to be born in New Jersey.” Although filmed on location in Bastrop, Bernie is set in the real-life East Texas town of Carthage, not far from Longview, where the McConaugheys lived for many years. KMac recalls when the events retold in Bernie took place. She also grins with relish as she reprises some of her lines from Bernie. They certainly have a zing, particularly her opening lines about Shirley MacLaine’s character, Mrs. Nugent, the widowed grumpy shrew who meets an unexpected end. “She’s a mean old bitch,” says KMac’s character straight to camera. (To be fair, Linklater and Texas Monthly’s Skip Hollandsworth, who share the screenwriting credits, are also less than kind to McConaughey’s character, long-suffering District Attorney Danny Buck, who is described as “good at getting himself re-elected.”) As for KMac, she also tips her hat to the screenwriters. “All of [my part] was great lines,” she says. “I didn’t have to do anything but say them.” Although a novice to the movie set, KMac has acted in several plays. Her stage roles include playing another character with great lines, Ouiser Boudreaux, coincidentally, the same role Shirley MacLaine played in the screen version of Steel Magnolias. Today, the former kindergarten teacher, who also spent time working as a model, lives in Sun City, Texas, and is a proud five-time grandmother and three-time great-grandmother. Her husband, Jim, died in 1992, before Matthew’s acting career took off with the cult-classic Dazed and Confused. “I told Matthew his dad would have really gotten a kick out of it because Jim didn’t even know that Matthew wanted to be an actor,” KMac says. The younger McConaughey originally went to school at UT Austin to study law and only later changed his career path, graduating from the film school in UT’s Radio-Television-Film department. He’s gone on to make more than 40 feature films. There are many layers to the feisty Kay McConaughey, who is also a published author. In 2008, she published the motivational and personally candid I Amaze Myself ! “With the book, I am trying to get women to admit that they are amazing,” she explains. “I’m a firm believer that women should never feel they are second class, or that they are not good enough.” She’s certainly taken her own book to heart. Asked if she’s looking forward to future movie roles, the answer comes right back. “I’d love to!” she says. KMac’s a realist and also not averse to having fun at her own expense, so she adds, “I don’t know how many movies there are for 80-year-old women! So, this could be my first and last, but that’s OK.”

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Austin Woman magazine 2006-2007 The power of possibility and launching of the Pink Pages. By Deborah Hamilton-Lynne The fifth year of Austin Woman saw the launch of the Pink Pages. Designed to support local women business owners and entrepreneurs, and to connect readers with those businesses, the Pink Pages was an immediate success. The go-to directory became the premier resource for women in business and is now in its seventh year of publication. The year also brought changes in design with the addition of Art Director Hope Carberry and innovative editorial under the continuing vision of Editor Mary Anne Connolly. Of her experience, Connolly says, “By far, the most rewarding thing about the position was the incredible team and staff, who couldn’t have been more hardworking or supportive, from sales to editorial, as well as meeting all of the amazing women in Austin who were our readers, contributors and subjects. It is not often in journalism you get a chance to start from scratch each month and have a platform from which to inspire, inform and educate, as well as connect the dynamic, brilliant, active and amazing women of Austin!” Dynamic, brilliant, active and amazing are definitely appropriate words to describe the women who graced

the covers from September 2006 through August 2007. In a bold move, Molly Ivins, who was valiantly fighting inflammatory breast cancer, insisted that her cover photo show her as she was—without hair following aggressive chemo. Musicians Patricia Vonne, Eliza Gilkyson, Natalie Maines and Kelly Willis were among those featured, as were philanthropists and community leaders Ada Anderson and Robin Campbell. Readers were inspired by University of Texas track coach Bev Kearney, physician Marci Roy and businesswomen M.P. Mueller and Amy Baker. No story was more inspiring than that of breastcancer survivor Andrea McWilliams, who chose Austin Woman as a platform to tell her story and bring hope to women battling this debilitating and often-fatal disease. “I remember being so moved and honored that Andrea would choose to reveal her story to the world through AW, and even more humbled when, a few days after the issue with Andrea on the cover came out, I was in an elevator carrying a copy of the magazine when I was stopped by a woman on that same elevator holding that very same issue of Austin Woman,” Publisher Melinda Garvey recalls. “She was on her way to see her sister in the hospital, who had just been diagnosed with stage-three ovarian cancer. She said she read Andrea’s story and knew she had to bring it to her sister right away because she knew it would give her hope and inspire her to focus on beating the cancer. I was speechless. How lucky was I to be part of a magazine that had

the ability to change people’s lives? It is truly a gift and one for which I will be forever grateful.” Entrepreneur, devoted wife and mother, community volunteer and one of Texas’ top lobbyists, McWilliams was on top of the world, or so it seemed. In the January 2007 issue of Austin Woman, McWilliams courageously, with no holds barred, discussed her diagnosis and subsequent battle with breast cancer while she was pregnant with her third child, Marcus. In the article, McWilliams was described as a master strategist, articulate, informed and direct—all traits essential to winning her battle with the deadly disease and to becoming the voice of hope for all women fighting breast cancer. Today, McWilliams is indeed on top of the world and has been cancer-free going on six years. McWilliams and Associates is the top lobbying firm in Texas, with clients ranging from Fortune 500 companies to the political elite, to the Kickapoo Indian tribe. She and her husband, Dean, have a thriving partnership, personally and professionally, and are the proud parents of three active children ages 10, 6 and 5. In the past five years, McWilliams and Associates’ business has grown tenfold, and the girl who grew up on Congress Avenue in the second story above her father’s burger joint is about to build an 11-story building just west of the Capitol. Although McWilliams claims that, given the three-block radius between the two buildings, she hasn’t come very far, nothing could be further from the truth. Holding on to her principles of faith, family and being fierce has served

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age

Andrea McWilliams, photographed at the Texas State Capitol by Sadie Barton.

her well. McWilliams views turning 40 later this year as a blessing. “Every birthday is important when you have had cancer,” she says. “Turning 40, I am excited about. I feel better. I am in better shape than I have ever been. I am closer to my husband than I have ever been. All of my kids are healthy. My business has never been better.” Encouraging cancer survivors remains a priority. In 2011, McWilliams chaired the Mamma Jamma Ride,

worked on behalf of the Seton Breast Cancer Center and is actively working to bring to Austin a UK-based firm that has developed a revolutionary hair-sparing technology that allows 70-percent of men and women going through chemo to keep their hair. “My intent with the original article was to encourage other women that they can go through cancer and come out better, stronger and maintain their life,” McWilliams says. “It doesn’t have to destroy you. When I was diagnosed with cancer and a week later

found out that I was pregnant, it was too much, so I turned it all over to God. You can get through it and things can be better than before. Just because you have something bad happen to you doesn’t mean that you can’t put it in the rearview mirror. I want women to read this and know that if I can win my battle, they can do it too. You just have to believe in the power of possibility.” The fifth year of Austin Woman and the story of Andrea McWilliams—sharing the power of possibility.

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relationships

Music to His Ears Five phrases all men want to hear. By Eric Leech Men are not that complicated. Give us some peace and quiet, the remote control and a few kind words every now and then, and we’ll be as happy as a shark at a summer pool party. Here are five simple phrases that every man will appreciate hearing from time to time. “I found your underwear on the floor...again. However, they were clean, folded slightly and within three feet of the hamper, so good job.” Studies suggest that couples are happiest when they maintain at least four compliments for every criticism they give their partner. Failing to maintain this 4:1 ratio will make you more of a nag than a loving spouse or girlfriend. Negative reinforcement has never worked effectively in the animal kingdom, and it doesn’t fare too well in the human kingdom either. “….....” The sound of solitude is blissful to the simple man. While a woman may take a man’s silence as the calm before a storm, it is often just a sign that he is content in his own mind. I have heard the phrases, “What are you thinking?” or “You never share with me,” more times than a bachelor has uttered the phrase, “It wasn’t me.” Why do I have a hard time sharing? It’s because I don’t have anything to say. Many guys are frustrated by their wives or girlfriends who try to get them to reveal their feelings. They want to know about our day at work, opinion of the new kitchen mat and feelings about the last episode of American Idol. I’m going to let you in on a secret: We don’t have anything to say about these things. Enjoy the simplicity of your man, as it is one of the things he does right. “I’m all yours tonight.” In the beginning of relationships, most women love their men for their carefree attitude, his ability to drop everything and take you away on a weekend getaway at a moment’s notice. Then along come bills, a baby, piano recitals and, before he knows it, his carefree attitude is no longer

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appreciated. Undoubtedly, women are the head organizers of the household, and without them, our kids would be walking around with their underwear on the outside of their pants. However, rather than concentrating on what needs to get done, you should occasionally put yourself in your man’s capable hands. Give him the chance to take you away from your daily responsibilities and remind you that you’re still just a girl in love with a great guy. “There are seven nerve points that can instantly kill a man. Three of them are also quite pleasurable.” Just because men are drawn to certain types of women doesn’t mean they are good for him. When it comes to being crazy, there are positive and negative varieties of women. A good crazy is the kind that keeps a guy guessing in anticipation as

to what you are going to do or say next. It means that you are spontaneous, sporadic and the thought of your quirky side unleashed in the bedroom is enough to drive any man insane with expectation. “I need you.” All men see themselves as white knights. It is in his evolutionary coding to be your protector. Not because you can’t take care of yourself, but because it is woman that is the more cherished sex. Think about the common heroic phrase, “Women and children first.” Women aren’t coveted just out of politeness and chivalry. It is because it only takes one man to impregnate an entire town of women. However, each woman is vital to the propagation of the species. Today, we no longer need the numbers. Nonetheless, men are still driven by the siren call of a damsel in distress. Having a purpose in your life means more to men than you will ever know.

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Mr. Fun Guy Gen X dads go soft when it comes to traditional discipline. By JB Hager / Photo by Rudy Arocha There used to be a time and place when a mother could easily toss out the threat, “Just wait ’til your father gets home,” and all issues would resolve instantly. The fear of dad putting the smack down sent fear through the spines of kids throughout America. I hate to admit it, but dads have gone soft and women are bearing the brunt where dads once stood strong. I bring this up with two great fears running through my head. One, I’m admitting that today’s dads are not pulling their weight in the disciplinary department, thus subjecting myself to ridicule from men. Two, my wife will know exactly what’s happening in our home. This is likely to end my run of strictly fun times with my daughter. I have vague memories of my mother dealing with this same issue. Growing up in a divorced family in the ’70s meant you spent every other weekend with Dad. For myself and my sisters, that meant going to KC Royals games, amusement parks or the mall during our Dad time. Mom time meant laundry, homework, packing school lunches and day-to-day living. Mom time also meant dayin, day-out discipline regarding table manners, grooming, fighting with siblings, etc. Maybe this is where I learned my role. My wife sounds oddly familiar to my mom as she says, “You get to be Mr. Fun Guy” all the time. It’s not that she’s upset with me; it’s just that she would like to be Mrs. Fun Mom from time to time and I pick up the slack as the bad guy from time to time. Can’t say that I blame her. Here are some of my wife’s pet peeves with Mr. Fun Guy, aka, me: b She helps my daughter with her homework and school to-do list and then I take my daughter wake surfing ’til dark. b It’s way past my daughter’s bedtime and we’re up watching ridiculous YouTube videos. b Sometimes at, oh, 9 p.m.-ish, I grab my daughter and say, “Let’s go get some sushi!” b When I walk into a room dancing, it’s hilarious. When Mom does it, my daughter screams, “Stop it, Mom. You’re embarrassing me!” I often forget about the day-to-day pains that moms endure. I work early hours and I’m gone at 5:30 a.m., so I miss a lot of drama: Brush your teeth. Brush your hair. Brush the dog. (Apparently, there is a lot of brushing involved when I’m gone.)

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Make your bed. Hurry up, the bus is coming. What do you mean that’s not what you want in your school lunch? Where is your backpack? Why didn’t you tell me that project was due? Get down off that wall! If it’s any consolation to mothers (and I know this is falling on deaf ears if you can relate to this right now), things are going to get better. Eventually, kids get older and in most cases, wiser. They usually realize just how much Mom did to shape the way they are. They will also realize that Gen X dads are a bunch of goofballs. That being said, honey, you’re right. You’re always right, and I’ll do what I can to pick up parenting roles around the house. I’m sorry I hate to admit it, but dads have gone soft and women are that you have had to take the bearing the brunt where dads once stood strong. driver’s seat with the disciplinary role and I’ll do my part moving forward. It’s not my fault that I’m JB Hager can be heard as part of the JB and Sandy a better dancer than you, so I’ll tie my shoes Morning Show on Mix 94.7 Austin weekdays 6 to together from now on. I love you very much 10 a.m. and appreciate all that you do, and so will your daughter someday. I promise.

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Carrie Contey’s Parenting Revolution Why taking care of yourself is essential to good parenting. By Jane Field, Photo by Caleb Kerr Carrie Contey works from her home, surrounded by huge windows, bright plants and a sparkly burnt-orange drum set in the corner. The drums happen to match the glittery sandals she’s wearing. With her style, she could be an interior designer, but Contey has spent her entire life understanding how children work and has created a business that reflects her passion and incorporates her unique style. Last year, the pre- and perinatal psychologist started Evolve, a program that helps mothers and fathers redefine their parenting with information from the latest neuroscience and psychological research. It’s about joy and expression, and helping them avoid energy-sucking cycles that don’t support their children. Energy is a hot topic with Contey. She likens human nervous systems to cell phones working on battery power. Adults have to plug in to their own power source—they exercise, visit with friends, eat—to recharge. Children recharge by plugging in to their parents, so if a parent is depleted (running without a battery) a child can’t recharge either. “A child doesn’t have their own wall charger,” Contey says. “They charge through the parent. So not only is the parent trying to balance their own system, the child is actually drawing their energy as well.” Contey believes parents must take care of themselves first in order to transform the way they parent from an outdated system of rewarding good emotions and punishing bad emotions to a new model focused on connection, building a relationship with the child and guiding them through all their experiences and emotions, good and bad. “Children are people, and their behavior is not about trying to manipulate,” she says. “They are growing in their brain and they’re getting deregulated, and it’s the parents’ job to help them and

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help them regulate. And that’s a whole different paradigm than what most of us were raised with.” She compares children’s emotions to the weather: If a storm will come, it will come. Essentially, just because a parent denies a child a cookie, the child should not be denied her sadness. Telling a child that she cannot be sad about something doesn’t change the fact that she is sad; it just teaches her that sadness is a bad or inappropriate emotion. It can be difficult for parents to readjust to supporting their children’s experiences and emotions rather than changing them, but Contey has made it her life’s mission to help them. In fact, this mission sounds more like destiny than a traditional career path. When she first held a baby (as a little girl sitting on a couch, propped up by pillows), she says, “it was like something inside of me was like, ‘This is important. This is your thing!’” This fascination led to her getting her Ph.D. in pre- and perinatal psychology. She began to wonder about

the path of traditional therapy, specifically, “Why are we doing so much work in adulthood to fix stuff that happened to us in childhood?” Contey decided that parents would be most helped by a business structure that allowed her to “support families from before conception through pregnancy, through birth and then afterwards.”

CARRIE CONTEY’S ADVICE FOR MOTHERS b Trust yourself. Trust your child. Really delight in who they are in this moment, and don’t get too hung up on where it’s going to go or where that behavior’s going to go because it really does change, and what’s challenging in the early years is very appropriate to that age and it just needs to be guided. b Self-care—fill your cup. b You’ve got about 15 to 20 years in a relationship with your child-person, but you potentially could have 50 or 60 years as adults together. So don’t focus totally on having a good child. Get hung up on having a good relationship with that person.

The business began as a book club when Contey realized that parents would be more receptive to her if she presented her ideas first as guide rather than as someone prescribing changes. The first group was a great success. It included 10 parents and lasted six weeks, and soon parents were asking to meet with her one on one, or asking her to form sub-groups focused on specific ages or ideas. But even parents seeking change found it difficult to sustain such a different approach to parenting. And the intrepid Contey began wondering, “What would it be like if I created a yearlong program and I fed parents information and support each day, weekly, and then monthly in a class?” This question led her to develop what she calls her experiment, in which she did just that: a yearlong program called Evolve, 2011. People got the support they finally needed to sustain the transformation, to continue to go against the norm as

they parented their children. This year, she’s taken Evolve and streamlined it for 2012, improving what works and changing what wasn’t as helpful. Contey talks a lot about how the brain works, and says because of this, when parents are listening, “It’s like literally handing them a different set of glasses.” For more information, visit carriecontey.com/ evolve-2012.

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Home Birth and Midwifery Take charge of your emotional and physical health with a home birth. By Rachel Merriman and Michele Fitzgerald Photo by Rudy Arocha The word “midwife,” which can be traced back to Middle English roots, translates literally to “with woman.” If you’ve given birth at home assisted by a midwife, you surely know that they provide a high level of support and care throughout each stage of your pregnancy, from prenatal to postpartum. A midwife stays with you every step of the way, whether that means talking you through any fears or anxieties you may have about birth, or helping your partner provide support during a particularly tough moment in labor. Certified Professional Midwife Michele Fitzgerald, who has attended thousands of births during her 30 years of experience, answers some commonly asked questions about midwifery and home birth. What training do midwives typically receive? Texas offers licensing to midwives who have successfully completed the Midwifery Alliance of North America’s CPM (Certified Professional Midwifery) requirements. CPM candidates are required to demonstrate adequate knowledge through completion of an accepted educational program such as the Association of Texas Midwives’ 27-month program. After completing the program, midwives must demonstrate their skills through completion of an apprenticeship under a qualified midwifery preceptor such as me. How do I pick a midwife, and what credentials should I look for? You want to verify that the midwife is currently licensed and in good standing with the state. Licensed midwives are listed on the Texas Department of Health website. On a more personal level, it is important that you choose a midwife you feel comfortable with. Interview several midwives and ask them about their experience level, how they might respond to specific situations, the number of clients they commit to in a given month and what kind of medical backup they have. If you have specific goals for your birth, be sure to discuss those as well. How is a home birth different from a hospital birth? The differences between home and hospital birth really begin in prenatal care. Midwives and OBs do the same tests and routine assessments, and respond to the same in-

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all the right questions dicators of potential problems. The real difference is in the approach. Midwives address the woman as a whole by taking in to account how she is feeling, not only physically, but emotionally and socially. During the appointment (which lasts longer than a typical OB appointment, about 45 to 60 minutes), we assess any issues she may be having and offer nutritional, lifestyle or medical suggestions. When it’s time for the birth, we come to her when she feels she needs us, and we stay until she no longer does. Sometimes that means going to a coffee shop down the street in early labor so that she and her partner can spend some time alone, and occasionally it means sleeping on a sofa hours after the baby is born. We also come back after the birth for a total of five visits, more if they are having nursing or other problems. What happens if there are complications or an emergency? It is important to know that a well-equipped midwife carries a great number of medical supplies in the event of an emergency, everything from oxygen to Pitocin (to stop a hemorrhage, never to augment labor), and we do not hesitate to transport for advanced medical care when necessary. Not all of our clients end up with a home birth, but they all get the benefit of prenatal and postpartum midwifery care. The primary reason we transport to a hospital is for maternal exhaustion, not for an emergency. When we have to transport, we always go along for support, and we provide the same quality of postpartum care our homebirth clients receive. Does insurance cover home birth? Some insurance does cover home birth. In our practice, we file for our clients and have an insurance specialist who lobbies hard to get as much of the cost covered as possible. Many of our clients are realizing that even if their insurance won’t pay for a home birth, the cost of a midwife ends up being about what they would pay (after deductible and copay) out of pocket for a hospital birth. For a cash client, there is no comparison; a hospital birth is significantly more expensive.

What are the benefits of giving birth naturally at home? There are many benefits to a natural birth. First and foremost, there is a strong correlation between medical interventions (such as Pitocin and epidurals) and an eventual cesarean. Laboring naturally decreases the likelihood of a C-section, which carries risks because it is major surgery. When a woman births naturally, she feels empowered, often finds breastfeeding and bonding to be easier and recovers more quickly and completely. A natural home birth is also an amazing experience for the whole family. Partners are encouraged to participate, and almost always catch the baby and cut the cord. A woman’s body is designed to birth; midwives trust that process and work to facilitate it. To contact Michele Fitzgerald, visit her online at austinmidwife.com or call 512.420.0971.

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The Gorgeous World of Laura Jacks and J.C. Conklin The playgroup Gorgeous Millie is transforming the toddler social scene. By Jane Field In Davenport Village, Laura Jacks and J.C. Conklin have created an unusual haven for both parents and children. Gorgeous Millie is an enchanted playgroup, although there are aspects of a nursery school or day care. Jacks describes the atmosphere of Gorgeous Millie as sophisticated whimsy: salvaged items in creamy pastels and big comfy chairs for grownups. “I just wanted back support!” Conklin says of Gymboree-style playgroups she visited with her children. There are several old doors from the Habitat for Humanity store repurposed as long, low tables perfectly sized to children younger than 3. The doors are all painted in bright, attractive colors, presenting a more natural and almost antique décor while still appealing to the toddlers who sit and stand at them. Just as alluring to mothers is a latte station mere feet from a fluffy pink monster, and a childfree visiting area on the other side of the room. On a recent visit, a group of mothers, including Conklin, were stationed there knitting. This is the genius behind Gorgeous Millie: It is a professional playroom that somehow, in spite of fluffy pink monsters, retains a level of adult sophistication. The minds behind Gorgeous Millie are Jacks and Conklin, successful professionals, good friends and, between the two, mothers of five children. Conklin is a former journalist who worked at the Wall Street Journal and is the author of several books, including Comeback Moms. Jacks is a lawyer and former judge. Her manner is straightforward and eloquent, which complements Conklin’s cre-

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ative nature. Both personalities are evident in the design and day-to-day routine of Gorgeous Millie. Conklin and Jacks were introduced to each other by their husbands (Conklin’s husband is a lobbyist, and Jacks’ husband is a legislator), who were working together when the women were pregnant at the same time. Although their husbands are both native Texans, neither of the women are, and both felt isolated by the transition they were going through,

particularly because none of their friends were pregnant at the time. “When you have a baby, you’re all alone and you’re starting over and everything changes. The way you shop changes. The way you socialize changes,” Jacks says. She and Conklin began going for long walks, pushing their strollers around Lady Bird Lake, discussing their needs as mothers of young chil-

dren. There was a new complexity to simple acts that had formerly enriched their lives, like getting a cup of coffee or meeting friends. Even childfriendly places were imperfect: Many only catered to children older than 3, parks were often unfenced and their small toddlers needed constant vigilance among older children playing in the same spaces. The pair began to imagine an enclosed place, appealing to adults but appropriate for children, those strictly younger than age 3. Gorgeous Millie opened almost a year later. Every area of Gorgeous Millie has a purpose, including a gathering spot for mothers and a library of picture books used for story time and music three days a week. Next to the puzzles and “manipulatives,” there is an area for dramatic play, complete with costumes. “The idea is you’re doing something developmentally appropriate for your kids but you’re really nurturing yourself through what is probably one of the biggest seismic shifts in your life,” Jacks explains. “We’ve utilized every resource we can to make sure that we are actually enhancing the kids developmentally, doing things that help to prepare them for preschool.” The creativity that propels Gorgeous Millie seems endless, and Jacks and Conklin have amassed a growing following of parents who appreciate their work. “All of the research out now suggests, and bears out, that open play, creative play, enhances children’s learning going forward,” Jacks says, summing it up. “Even though overall data comes down on the fact that one-on-one caregiving is the ideal solution, there are benefits to a daycare situation— socialization benefits—and so we incorporate that here without forfeiting the one-on-one caregiving.” A welcoming environment for parents, a playful space for young children. Gorgeous Millie is definitely enchanted.

Photos by Cory Ryan.

For more information, visit gorgeousmillie.com.

the last word /

aw view

[From left] Jan’s mother at General Motors in 1944; Jan, photographed by Larry Kolvoord.

The Beat Goes On Learning to decorate a multi-layered cake with pastry tubes configured from cut paper always seemed natural to me as a child. I am a professional artist represented by Wally Workman Gallery in Austin. The path to my career and love of making art is the outcome of everything I learned from my amazing mother, Eleanor Vaillancourt Nief. She taught me to observe and see beyond the obvious, and take time to record ideas, moments, words and visions, the pockets of inspiration that can happen anywhere. She also gave me unconditional love, a gift that, as a mother, I strive to share with my daughters and grandsons. Growing up in Detroit with artist parents, I thought everyone was an artist. My mother was an illustrator for General Motors, my father a freelance display artist. My grandfather was an automotive designer for Henry Ford. Winter days in Detroit often found my brother and I helping Mom set up a photo shoot in the living room with floodlights and backdrops, or arranging still lifes on the dining-room table that would be drawn with charcoal. Mom was a master pastry whiz, a 1950s-style version of Ace of Cakes, making baked creations for every friend’s event that needed a cake or a pie. (I thought every household had pastry tubes in their kitchen drawers.) Evenings were spent practicing brush lettering and calligraphy with my dad at his big drawing table in the basement. We did not have a TV until I was 10. When we did finally get the TV, my mom sat and drew gesture drawings from the figures on the screen. We spent our quiet time reading voraciously with flashlights tucked under the tented bed covers. We were always at the public library, checking out stacks of books. When the ice thawed and spring finally arrived, we would drive outside the

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city. Mom would always have her sketchbook and her camera. She had one of the first Polaroid cameras, and we thought it was magic. Every road trip was interrupted with frequent stops to view an unusual plant growing on the roadside. There was never a journey that went straight from point A to point B. She was constantly collecting and sketching ideas for future paintings and sculptures. We planted the garden with black raspberries, rhubarb and Swiss chard, and then cooked and preserved the bounty. We visited my grandmother, who grew grapes and made wine (my brother and I were her favorite pickers). We produced talent shows in our neighborhood and promoted the events with flyers, and sold tickets. I was the costume designer and marketing person. Mom helped with sewing our elaborate costumes. We were very entrepreneurial and always trying to figure out a way to supplement our allowances. There was a lemonade stand, a babysitting job, a newspaper to be delivered, a bouquet or a handmade potholder to be sold door to door. We roller skated, rode bikes, ice skated in our backyard, played tennis with our dad in the street, hula hooped, cooked together and were never bored. I always knew I would be an artist like my parents. I look at my daughters: Kristin, an entrepreneurial spa owner (Hiatus Spa + Retreat in Austin and Dallas); Allison, a talented chef and marketing leader at Whole Foods Market; and Maryam, an accomplished event planner. I know my mom would be very proud to see what these girls are doing! And the beat goes on.

–Jan Heaton

July’s Last Word topic will be “What I Love About Austin” To be considered, email a 500-word submission by June 1 to thelastword@awmediainc.com.

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