Debate Issue 4

debate Issue 04| MARCH 2014

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debate Issue 04 | MARCH 2014

COVER ART

by Ramina Rai EDITOR Matthew Cattin matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz DESIGN/ART Ramina Rai ramina.rai@aut.ac.nz CONTRIBUTORS Bridget Addy | Regan Schoultz | Laurien Barks | Lennie Galloway | Manar Al-Ansari | Kieran Bennett | Kelly Pochyba | Michelle Lee | Erica McQueen | Jessie Song | Cameron Carpenter | Natasha Free | Ethan Sills | ILLUSTRATION & PHOTOGRAPHY Ramina Rai | Annupam Singh ADVERTISING CONTACT Kate Lin kate.lin@aut.ac.nz PRINTER PMP Print Ltd. PUBLISHER AuSM all rights reserved

This publication is entitled to the full protection given by the Copyright Act 1994 (“the Act”) to the holders of the copyright, being AUCKLAND STUDENT MOVEMENT AT AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY INCORPORATED (“AuSM”). Reproduction, storage or display of any part of this publication by any process, electronic or otherwise (except for the educational purposes specified in the Act) without express permission is a break of the copyright of the publisher and will be prosecuted accordingly. Inquiries seeking permission to reproduce should be addressed to AuSM.

DISCLAIMER Material contained in this publication does not necessarily represent the views or opinions of AuSM, its advertisers, contributors, PMP Print or its subsidiaries.

debate is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA)

FEATURE ARTIST: ANDREA JOHNSTON Page 8-9

DIRECTORY RECEPTION City Campus Level 2, WC Building 921 9805 Mon-Thurs: 9am-5pm Fri: 9am-4pm

North Shore Campus Level 2, AS Building 921 9949 Mon-Fri: 11am-1pm South Campus MB107 921 9999 ext 6672 Mon-Thurs: 9am-3.30pm

GOVERNANCE & LEADERSHIP John Kingi AuSM Student President 921 9999 ext 8571 john.kingi@aut.ac.nz MANAGEMENT Kathy Anderson General Manager 921 9999 ext 8570 kanderso@aut.ac.nz

ADVOCACY Siobhan Daly AuSM Advocate 921 9999 ext 8311 siobhan.daly@aut.ac.nz

EVENTS Carl Ewen Student Life Manager 921 9999 ext 8931 carl.ewen@aut.ac.nz

VESBAR Zane Chase Vesbar Manager 921 9999 ext 8378 zane.chase@aut.ac.nz

MARKETING Kate Lin Sales and Marketing Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8909 kate.lin@aut.ac.nz

MEDIA Matthew Cattin Publications Co-ordinator 921 9999 ext 8774 matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz

VOLUNTEERS & CLUBS 921 9999 ext 8911 volunteers@aut.ac.nz

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EDITORIAL Hello AUT, I have a problem. Well okay, you got me, problems.

But today, I will shed light on just one of them, my inability to say no to people. It’s a simple word really – in fact it is likely one of the first I ever uttered. But for some reason, and I am sure I’m not alone in saying this, it can be one of the hardest words to say.

Some people have it down pat and are able to flip the no at anybody, any time without remorse. I envy these people. Imagine how simple life would become could I just master the art of verbally slapping somebody on the face with the fierce finality of a bold “NO, no goddam way!”

I am getting better though! As with anything, practice makes perfect. I used to be that guy who couldn’t walk past street charity workers without giving them a high five, my life savings and the shirt off my back. These days, while I am still pretty tongue tied and polite about saying no to them should they rope me into a conversation, at least I have devised a few failsafe methods of, well, lying to them to avoid that damn one-syllable word. So I guess in hindsight, I haven’t really improved…

It’s not necessarily a bad thing however – it has given me my fair share of good stories, most of which involve me failing to say no to rather awkward advances. I will share them with you now.

So in college - being six feet tall, devilishly handsome and with an enticing love rug poking through over my polo – I was at times prone to catching the eyes of the ladies here and there.

While this was flattering at the best of times, it was also the absolute goddam pits at the worst of times. You see, love does not adhere to age

gaps, and several times in my final year, I had the misfortune of attracting the attention of the extremely unwanted variety – year nines.

One such girl decided I was rather a catch (note: I was) and decided she would spend her morning tea breaks and lunch times being my shadow. This was a really fun time in Matthew’s life history, let me assure you. She was larger than life, attention starved and I’m fairly certain she had no friends in her own year group. And so, unable to tell her she ought to be hanging with friends her own age, she remained a parasite to my being for around a month. Every day she would find me, annoy me, jabber on about really interesting year nine stuff, and in general make me dread the lunch bell. She would write fan fiction about me and read it to my friends, sing me unaccompanied love songs she had written and give me letters signed “BFFL”. Yep, high school romance at its worst – my girlfriend at the time was highly amused.

Like putting down a beloved pet, one day I decided it would be best for everybody involved to tell her to scat. I was as diplomatic as I could be, reminding her that I would be graduating at the end of the year and that she would still have four more years at school so she maybe, perhaps, could think about making friends her own age? It went down a treat as you can imagine. She caused a huge scene, yelled at me, cried and eventually ran off. For a few weeks, she stuck around however, pointedly talking to my friends to make me jealous (note: I definitely wasn’t) and dramatically avoiding me at every turn. Matthew, you bastard.

In my first year of uni, I was heading to the bus stop after what was likely an utterly ridiculous comms lecture. I said hooray to my friends at the Queen / Wellesley intersection and slung off my uncool

backpack to get out my antisocial enablers (headphones). As I was digging in my bag on the pavement, a 40+ man caught my eye and smiled.

Being a lovely young gentleman, I smiled back and began walking. He caught up with me and gave me a puzzled look, asking if he knew me from somewhere. I definitely didn’t know him so I said no, to which he, in a very straight up fashion, asked me if I was gay. To the best of my knowledge, I wasn’t so again, I told him no. I was a bit confused by all of this and wondered if he had me mixed up with another gorgeous young man. For the remainder of the walk however, he confided in me that he was gay, that it had been a difficult time coming out to his friends and family and that I couldn’t know my own sexuality if I didn’t experiment a little with another man. When I got to my bus, he told me he’d felt chemistry between us and asked for my number.

Strangely enough, being straight, half his age and having only known him for three minutes, I didn’t feel that same chemistry. He was a lovely guy and bless him for trying but again, I couldn’t bring myself to say no. So I gave him my digits and he text me later that afternoon, asking to go out for a drink. This time though, filled with the courage of telecommunication, I said thanks, but no thanks.

He wished me well on my way and that was that, another situation that could have been avoided had I whipped out a no.

Oh there have been other such occasions with drunken cougars, pesky salesmen and creepers but alas, I’ve rambled too long and as much as I’m sure y’all are dying to hear my stories, I need the practice. So, no.

Over and out, Matthew

5

FOLLOW KEEP UP WITH WHATʼS GOING DOWN

@ausm1

AUT CHINESE CENTRE 中文中心

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ausm.org.nz

/ausm1

ausm connect

STUDENT EXPERIENCE TEAM

Free support services for all Chinese speaking students 為華人學生提供援助的地方 •

Specialist advice and information on studying and living in Auckland - 提供生活和學習方面的專業指導

•

Workshops on Western study skills and ongoing peer tutoring services - 培訓大學學習技能，組織課業輔導

•

Social activities & networking - 組織課餘活動，拓展社交圈子

•

Facilities and resources - 提供專門的學習設施和空間

City Campus: Phone: Email: Web:

WB406 921 9999 x 8397 or 6503

chinese.centre@aut.ac.nz www.aut.ac.nz/chinese_centre

Did you know...

The Student Experience Team (SET) are AUT employees who are also current students who have experience and advice to share with you.

We can help you succeed at AUT by connecting, engaging and supporting you with your studies.

If you get a call from us — don’t stress, we’re just here to help. www.aut.ac.nz/student-experience

SCANDAL

By Bridget Addy Nelson Mandela dies.

100 perish in Boston crash.

Typhoon Haiyan claims nearly 4K. 2 children murdered by their own father.

Lorde wins two Grammies.

But never you mind that!

Lordes boyfriend is 26!?

Scandalous.

Auckland Mayor sex scandal.

Slanderous!

Miley twerks at VMAs. Absolutely outrageous!

I must report!

With everything happening in the world right now, How can we be stuck on things so trivial?

When did our priorities become such a mess?

Why are we stalling, in a world of progress?

We've inherited this dusty, dirty, drabby bag of rubbish.

Inhaling dust.

Infiltrate our minds.

Sneezing, coughing.

Out an infectious disease.

It's a contagious way of life.

Contaminated.

Our youth have, contracted this.

A very vicious virus.

Crawling Creeping Sneaking Why aren't we speaking?

Of this incredible, inevitable rash, this itch.

Head to toe.

Finger to finger.

Scratching at these blisters.

Do I have any listeners?!

Throats closed up, infected for too long.

But I am speaking.

LOOK at me.

Standing strong.

Together we can find a cure.

Can we bridge the gap between rich and poor?

Let you, me, her, him, she, them.

Let us remove this disease.

If not today then tomorrow please?

Who cares about the mindless dribble we can scandal.

When we have this infectious disease we can't handle.

7

Andrea Johnston Hello! I am a graphic designer and illustrator based in Auckland.

I studied graphic design, minoring in illustration at AUT and graduated at the end of last year. Throughout high school I had always wanted to study fashion design, but realized the only part of fashion design I liked was the drawing part, and so graphic design it was!

I only became interested in illustration in my second year of uni, when one of my tutors introduced me to watercolours and I instantly fell in love with the medium. I started making prints for my friends of their favourite actor, artists and even pets. I love the delicacy and unpredictability of the medium and the fact that no two works I do will ever look the same.

I also enjoy working digitally, but still try to make the work look handmade. For my final uni project I illustrated To Kill a Mockingbird and made it into a children's illustrated book. I was also one the eight students chosen to digitally design a mural for Starship Children's Hospital last year, which was a really cool project to be involved in Recently me and a few friends started a small business selling crafty things we make and some of our artwork, check us out at www.facebook.com/axesandarrows or www.behance.net/AndreaJohnston

Are you a creative cat? Email matthew.cattin@aut.ac.nz if you would like your beautiful creations featured in the mag.

FEATURE ARTIST

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Where Art Thou Plane?

By Regan Schoultz Unless you have been living under a rock or just entirely in your own world, you might have heard about the media shit-storm known as the case of the missing Malaysia airline. Over the past few weeks, we news watchers and readers have been bombarded by stories, rogue theories and mislead conclusions as to what actually happened to the airline.

What do we know for sure?

Well as of Monday the 17th, we were told by Malaysian authorities that the plane was hijacked. As of Tuesday the 18th, we were back at step one – no fucking clue.

Regardless of the cause of the missing plane the fact of the matter is that we still don’t know the location of the plane.

Here is the background information: A Boeing 777 departed Kuala Lumpur and was set to land in Beijing on the same day. An hour and a half into the flight, air traffic controllers at Kuala Lumpur lost contact with the plane and since then, the location of the plane has been a mystery.

What is so confusing about the whole situation is why no distress signals were sent from the plane, why a plane in the ‘safest part of the flight’ would have had issues without notifying air traffic control and how it is possible that a plane with high tech tracking equipment and a supposedly indestructible black box on board is now completely undetectable.

Since the disappearance of the plane there have been numerous theories floating around in the media, most notably a rumour of a possible terrorist attack, an implosion on board big enough to disintegrate the entire plane or that the plane has simply crashed and is still floating around in the ocean somewhere. These are the theories that are actually probable.

And these are the other theories, of which, all are 100 per cent bullshit but nevertheless very humorous to read.

UFO Digest’s Tony Elliot has apparently solved the puzzle - Iranians kidnapped the engineers, of course. “If the Iranian government wanted to hijack the plane, it would have had its hijackers make an abrupt turn and head to the nearest friendly Muslim country. In this case, it would be East Timor, the most likely country, located in the opposite direction from the flight path,” wrote Mr Elliot. This theory somehow completely missed the fact that the plane’s signal dropped completely off the radar, without any trace or warning. Nice.

A new Bermuda Triangle? Although the treacherous status of the triangle has long been dispelled some are questioning the appearance of a new triangle that may be the reason for the disappearance.

Or if your Facebook page is anything like mine, you have been inundated by posts stating that extraterrestrial interference is behind the disaster. I am talking about aliens. A fellow Facebooker who shall remain nameless

commented, “I secretly believe that the plane is abducted by aliens... I know I’m not the only one..” A real thinker that one.

Another post that popped up on my Facebook was an image of a plane wreck in the ocean carrying the tagline – the Boeing 777 has been found. In actual fact, and if anyone had bothered to do any research at all, it would have been known that the image of said missing plane was actually an image from an Air France crash in 2009.

These are just a small portion of an epic saga of theories and to add to those, I had asked a number of students around campus what their thoughts are on the issue.

Here is what people had to say: Nathan James: “I am bemused on how an airline could have lost a whole plane and have literally no clue as to its location. I think it probably crashed on a remote island. Someone should probably get over there.”

Sam Clarke: “It crashed. The ocean is a big place, it’s probably really easy to crash and never be found. The rumours that I have read are plausible. The passport issue is strange.”

Sam is referring to the discovery that two male passengers on board the plane were actually using fake passports stolen in Thailand. Another supporting fact of the terrorist theory.

Anita Winterstein: “Hopefully the people on board are alive and waiting to be found. I just want them to be found.”

Lois Oldehaver: “I just feel really sorry for all the people on board and I don’t really understand why anyone would hijack a plane - what point are these guys trying to prove. From what I have read from the updates, it seems as though the captain and co-pilot are the hijackers, the only way the plane could have dropped off the radar like that is if it was flying extremely low and that would require an extremely experienced pilot to fly below the radar.”

Sam Lacy: “I read a post saying that the last blip signal from the plane was on land so hopefully that is the case and that everyone on board is still alive.”

So I guess the most you could take from this article is a laugh at the incredulous speculation surrounding the disaster and the chance to spare a thought for the families of those on board. I am not trying to make fun of the situation, rather I want to point out that the rumour mill of the internet and global media contains but a fraction of truth. Monday’s announcement is a stark example of how the media can be so incorrect and if anything, the announcement has further perpetuated crazy theories and rubbish conclusions. The truth of the matter is that you can’t really trust what you read online and in the media.

More plane mysteries 2009: Air France Flight 447 In May 2009, The Airbus A330 departed Rio de Janeiro en route to Paris. As it crossed the Atlantic, it told control center its position – the last contact with the plane. It took nearly two years before the bulk of the wreckage, the majority of bodies, and the voice and data recorders were recovered. All 228 aboard died. It was not until 2012 that French authorities claimed ice crystals disrupted the system used to determine the plane's airspeed, causing the autopilot to disconnect.

2003: Boeing 727 In May 2003, a Boeing 727 vanished in the Angolan capital of Luanda. The plane departed Quatro de Fevereiro International Airport with its lights turned off and a dysfunctional transponder. There are conflicting reports on the number of people aboard the company jet and its whereabouts are unknown to this day.

1996: TWA Flight 800 In 1996, the Paris-bound plane exploded in midair shortly after takeoff from New York City, killing all 230 passengers.

It was ruled that the explosion was caused by an electrical short circuit, which detonated the fuel tank and caused the Boeing 747 to break into pieces. Despite the explanation, there are still conspiracy theories of a government coverup.

1947: British Stardust The British aircraft vanished in the Argentine Andes after takeoff from Buenos Aires. For 50 years the whereabouts of the plane remained a mystery, causing plenty of conspiracy theories. In 2000 however, the wreckage of the plane was found buried deep in a glacier. Stardust's final Morse code transmission was the word "STENDEC.", which remains a mystery.

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NIFTY NEWS TATTOOED EMPLOYEES CAN HELP BUSINESSES companies. Some Auckland businesses say it also brings a positive response from clients.

“Chelsea”, the director of the Auckland adult entertainment club Showgirls, says tattoos are a good topic of conversation for employees and customers to bring up.

“It allows our bar staff and also our dancers to be able to communicate with their customers on a more personal level.”

Michael Hsieh from Ballistic Tattoo on Queen St says having tattooed artists is an advantage because customers can gain advice from someone with experience.

A study done by UMR Research found that nearly one in five New Zealanders have a tattoo.

Pharmacy director Firas Mudafar says businesses reluctant to hire applicants with tattoos need to change their attitude.

Photo credit: Manar Al-Ansari

Despite those numbers increasing and the fact businesses can benefit from tattooed employees, some are still reluctant to hire them.

Karangahape Rd’s Revel Café owner Jeff Nagle says it is discriminatory, but within the employer’s right.

By Manar Al-Ansari Hiring people with tattoos could benefit the reputation of companies, a Forbes article says.

The American business magazine says employees with tattoos enhance diversity within

“As an employer, you need to design a way you want it [the business] to look. You have to have a vision and if what you perceive is your target

market isn’t going to get into tattoos then sure, don’t hire someone with tattoos.”

Mr Hsieh says workers should be hired based on their experience and not on their appearance.

“As long as they get the job done it doesn’t really matter if they have tattoos or not.”

Onehunga Family Pharmacy director Firas Mudafar says it is about the image of the business and not the tattoo itself.

“It might influence some employers in terms of image. So it won’t influence me to an extent but a lot of employers get influenced by what tattoo they [applicants] have.”

Mr Mudafar says society’s attitude against tattoos is another reason why businesses decline tattooed applicants.

“Tattoos 20 and 30 years ago were affiliated with violence, affiliated with gangsters, with groups and that sort of stuff. That is no longer the case.”

Mr Mudafar believes society’s attitude about tattoos needs to change in order for businesses to change their views.

COLIN CRAIG TO SUE SMALL CHILD issued with a summons by Mister Craig's lawyers, being accused of libel and slander after she called the Conservative Party Leader a poo head.

Mr Craig and Miss Freeman met for the first time at a Waikowhai Primary School visit. Despite repeated reminders, Mr Craig seemed unable to comprehend that none of the students were able to vote and started asking them who they would vote for in the upcoming election. Miss Freeman then announced she wouldn't vote for Mr Craig on account of him being a poo head. Tears sprang into his eyes as Mr Craig yelled that Miss Freeman was a poo face and stormed out.

Miss Freeman has remained unperturbed by recent events, simply continuing to attend school and occasionally colouring outside the lines. When asked for a statement she merely replied that Mr Craig was a "kaka face" and then offered our reporter a crayon.

By Kieran Bennett Only weeks after announcing his original suit against Green Party Co Leader Russell Norman, Conservative Party Leader Colin Craig has announced he will be launching a similar suit against a small child. Five-year-old Waikowhai Primary student Grace Freeman has been

Her parents have stood by their daughter, also calling Mr Craig a “kaka face” and saying to the press that they don’t entirely understand the reason behind the lawsuit. Father Bruce Freeman said to our reporter that he felt the suit had no logical ground. “I mean, if you’re a total kaka face, people should be able to tell you that. It just makes sense”. The Freemans felt that not being able to tell someone the truth about

them was “really un-New Zealander”.

Mr Craig has also been quick to try and bring the media to his side and not appear as a small, whingey child. Thus far his latest press conference has done nothing to counter this perception. Speaking to the assembled press and his mother, who occasionally yelled “Get down Craigy”, the still snivelling party leader attempted to defend himself. He stated that he was “clearly rubber” and that Miss Freeman was glue. He then went on to explain that any insults directed at his person would simply bounce off him and stick to Miss Freeman due to their respective material properties. When asked if perhaps the voting public deserved to know what he was like for the sake of the democratic process and equality, Mr Craig did not answer.

He in fact appeared to break out in hives at the mention of the word ‘equality’.

Political commentators have thus far been silent on Mr Craig’s suit, fearing they will also be sued.

When pressed for comment however, many said that Mr Craig was “for sure” the best politician they had ever set eyes upon and that surely his handsomeness was only matched by his rational policies.

Sources are yet to confirm the colour of Miss Freeman’s crayon.

AUT REC CENTRE ON THE WEIGH

By Kp Lew

construction of the recreation centre begins by 2015 and meets student requirements.

AuSM president John Kingi says that new recreation centre should have two indoor basketball courts, a new gym, a group fitness studio, and club spaces that can be used by student groups and clubs.

Until then, group fitness enthusiasts can rejoice as the AUT Sports and Fitness Centre in the city will be installing mirrors in its group fitness room in WT021.

The recreation centre for AUT's City Campus is being negotiated and developed between AuSM and the university.

“Having mirrors in there would be really beneficial for everyone to make sure that we’re on form,” says Ria Loveder, a third year radio major who enjoys the gym’s Pilates classes.

The centre has been on the agenda since 2009 and will be financed by the university through student fees as well as a fund set aside for the centre.

Sport and fitness customer services assistant Olivera Vasic says the mirrors will be installed by April at the latest, but hopes the job will be done before then.

Other group fitness classes available for the members include AM Energy, Yoga, Zumba, Hip Hop and BoxFit. Non-members can participate on a concession card basis.

"They're really good for students who don't want to work out in the gym, but still want to be active," says Ms Vasic.

The fitness centre is also looking into acquiring weights for Pump group fitness classes as soon as it obtains sole and secure access to WT021.

Additionally, the gym will offer eight-week selfdefense and salsa courses to AUT students for $70.

Mr Kingi says AuSM is doing its best to ensure

MOEHAU TO MOTUTAPU

By Rebekah Duffin The Coromandel Peninsula is home to magnificent beaches, ancient forests and relics from pioneers of yester year. It is also home to between 1000-1500 Coromandel brown kiwi.

The rarest of the North Island brown kiwi, is in ever present danger of becoming extinct.

Since 2000, an intensive trapping programme has been run on Moehau, at the tip of the Coromandel Peninsula, by the Department of Conservation (DOC), hard-working contractors and dedicated community groups.

You see, kiwi really struggle in a world with mammals. Kiwi chicks are pretty much left on their own from the moment they hatch. I don’t know how many of you have come across a kiwi in the

wild, but they have an incredibly strong scent. So strong that mere humans can smell them from a distance. Unfortunately this means mammals with a much better sense of smell than humans can hunt the kiwi with very little effort.

Even with pest control and habitat protection, Coromandel brown kiwi are still in danger from stoats, weasels, ferrets, dogs, cats and humans.

An island sanctuary is an essential part of ensuring Coromandel brown kiwi have a future.

Auckland, being just a small Hauraki Gulf away from the Coromandel Peninsula, seemed like an ideal place, similar habitat, not far for the birds to travel. Somewhere pest free…

Motutapu has had much love and restoration

by DOC and the Motutapu Restoration Trust (MRT), and has celebrated becoming pest free.

With much to-ing and fro-ing, consultation with iwi from both the giving and receiving ends, and many talks with both local communities, the first Coromandel brown kiwi were translocated from the Kuaotunu Peninsula, (north of Coromandel town), to Motutapu Island.

At the end of this month, six kiwi dog handling teams from around the country will be working with DOC and volunteers to catch up to 16 kiwi from Moehau. The birds will then get the chance of a lifetime and fly, (by helicopter), to Motutapu Island.

It is hoped the birds will breed and develop an island population, with their offspring returning home to a safer Coromandel.

13

Feedback AuSM Orientation has come to an end and we want to know what you thought of it. We have heaps of prizes for you! It takes less than five minutess to complete the survey and you will be in the draw for prizes such as vouchers from Gordon Harris and Huffer, a 12 month AUT gym membership, movie passes for Event Cinemas Queen Street and much more!

Survey link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RZ6ZVV7 Or head to AuSM website for more info. http://ausm.org.nz/ AuSM Advanced Movie Screening is back!

AuSM advanced movie screening is back! First movie to catch will be Divergent.

AuSM and Event cinemas Queen St. are going to hook you and your friend up with an advance screening on 4th April 2014, 4pm.

Check out AuSM Competition page http://ausm.org.nz/whats-on/ competitions/ to enter the draw for the movie! Deadline for entry will be on 1st April 2014.

Oops. Did I mention about FREE popcorn and drinks too?

Top-up your phone with AuSM and get discount!

Do you know that AuSM offices sell Vodafone, Telecom and 2degrees top-ups? Buy a $20 top-up from us for just $19.50!

UPDATES WWW.AUSM.ORG.NZ

Debate WANTS you!

We’re on the lookout here at debate for some cool contributors. If you have a passion for the written word, we want to hear from you.

You don’t need to be a creative writing or journalism student, all you need is an idea and a pinch of motivation. It’s your student magazine so get busy! Hit us up at with an email at mcattin@aut. ac.nz for any questions.

Creative cat?

If you fancy yourself as an artist or designer, send us an email at rrai@aut.ac.nz and you could be featured in an upcoming debate mag!

Kia ora!

It's now week four and the days until mid-semester break are slowly counting down. To all those who have been studying hard and attending classes, well done! Don't worry if things are seeming easy, that will soon change.

Last week we had our clubs days on each campus. Thanks to all those who came and joined a club. Student clubs are a great way to get involved in university life. I encourage you all to get involved and make the most of the events and activities that university clubs provide.

Coming up we have the first AuSM movie screening! I am running a competition called 'Prez's date night'. If you have a special someone and want two free tickets and a prize to take that someone to a screening of an up and coming film, email me why you should win at jkingi@aut.ac.nz.

On a different note, some of you may also be aware that there have been some issues with the shuttles at Manukau South campus. I have been working hard alongside our South campus rep to ensure these issues are resolved. If you have any concerns or have been affected please let me know.

PREZ SEZ president of ausm, john kingi

Finally I have been really hard at work trying to secure a new recreation centre on our city campus. This is a priority for the university and I hope to be able to give you guys an announcement on this development soon.

That's all from me this week, onwards titans!

Your prez,

John

Lovenotes and Hatemail

Dear Mr Cattin, Your piece titled "Half Empty cup of love" was, in a word, atrocious. Unless you yourself are a trans person, you do not get to refer to anyone as a "tr*nny". It is rude and derogatory.

It may have seemed all in good fun to write like that, but to portray the drag queens and gay men you encountered that night as predators was in extremely bad taste. You are propagating an attitude the LGBT+ community face every day, an attitude of suspicion and malice. You have contributed to a hostile environment that already proves lethal to those people you have targeted. Perhaps unwittingly but targeted nonetheless Please refrain from using pejoratives that will never be used against you. You have not the right regards In my time as editor, I’ve had my share of hate mail. Although most of it has come from you, it’s still never awesome to get negative feedback.

Usually, it’s water off a duck’s back. I realise people have their opinions and they don’t always align with my own. However, the letters that really sting, are the letters that rightfully point out a mistake in my writing and judgement.

In all honesty, I did not know that the word ‘tranny’ is derogatory to transvestite people. Had I known, I would not have used it in my article. The same way the word ‘champion’ can be shortened to simply ‘champ’, I thought transvestite could be similarly shortened without becoming a negative or offensive derivative. It was a mistake and I take full responsibility. I apologise if I have caused any offence to anybody, regardless of their sexuality. Despite my poor word choice in that instance, I think it was clear in my article that I do not have hostile feelings towards the trio. I also referred to them as “charming”, “kindly”

and “midnight beauties”.

You took offence to my article portraying the transvestites as predatory.

I’m not sure if you have ever spent any time with transvestites on their working nights, but if you have, you may have noticed that they (or at least the three we ran into) are extremely cheeky, suggestive and flamboyant. While we were with them, they acted rather predatory towards us and I don’t mean aggressively predatory, I mean they made plenty of sexual jokes, made mock advances on us and were, in general, just being cheeky – jokingly predatory. In fact they even offered to take us out back and teach us a thing or two while the girlfriends weren’t listening. It was all said in good humour and I think it is clear that my article was written with a certain poetic licence. I was 18 at the time and I was whisked away into a bar to have my navel licked out by strangers – my nerves, embarrassment and worry were all very real and whether my captives were male, female, transsexual, gay, straight, whatever, I would have felt the same legitimate concerns and in hindsight described the night’s adventure in a similar fashion.

Lastly, I would like to reiterate that I harbour no feelings of suspicion or malice towards the LGBT+ community. I really do hope it caused no further offence.

Matthew.

PS – I would like to use this opportunity to say thanks for the letter you sent at the end of last year. The one where you said you “sincerely” hoped I wouldn’t return as editor in 2014. That was really sweet of you, I appreciate the thought. You’ll be pleased to know that even editors have feelings, sad times and days when they’d rather just stay at home and carb-load in bed watching Ugly Betty. But it’s days like that, I pull out your letter and feel better about myself. So please, pat yourself on the back for being such a sweetheart. I only wish you would sign your letters so AUT at large can recognise your hostile and willing targeting.

Tweeted to us from Megan Stericker

A delightful comic sent in by Shannon-Mae

Want to whisper a sweet nothing in our ear? Or would you rather scream hateful somethings at us? Either way, email us at mcattin@aut.ac.nz., or drop your letter off to the AuSM office.

We look forward to hearing your judgement of us!

15

THE HEALTHY STUDENT

JUST ADD

MAPLE

By Laurien Barks Now, while I understand the harm and offense that can be derived from national stereotypes, there is still little that I love more in this world than a good natured, 100 per cent, living, breathing, personified cliché! I just can’t help but giggle when my Indian bestie actually has butter chicken and naan for dinner. Or that time when my American friend threw down her bag of Cheetos to yell unnecessary profanities at the ref during a sports game, I mean, come on!

And being a born and bred Canadian girl myself, I’m unashamed to say that I personify a lot of the good ol’ classic Canadian clichés on a regular basis.

I apologize when someone steps on my foot, I have a plush moose toy on my bed, and I will eat maple syrup on pretty much anything. So, being the lovely and polite Canadian gal that I am, I decided to share said goodness here today, and pass along some simple, quirky, but amazing recipes that one can make with maple syrup. Other countries are so boring with their ‘strictly pancake’ policy when it comes to the golden goodness, and I feel like the bottled wonder doesn’t get its chance to shine and really show what it is made of! So here are a few ideas for the next time you want to try something a little different:

1) MAPLE SYRUP + BACON + EGGS You can just drizzle it on if you like, but I highly recommend taking the time to do this properly! Get the syrup, brush it on the raw bacon, then throw that beautiful masterpiece under your broiler until the bacon is a crispy, gooey angel. A strip of maple bacon with a couple of scrambled eggs is heaven.

And don’t worry if the syrup gets on the eggs. Seriously. I won’t even be mad if you put the syrup on the eggs on purpose.

2) MAPLE SYRUP + TEA It seems obvious, but no one does it around here. It’s like honey... But Canadian.

3) MAPLE SYRUP + PEANUT BUTTER If you’re like me, you’ll have a hard time believing that anything can improve the majestic miracle that is peanut butter. Who even thought to serve peanuts in butter form? I hope that whoever is responsible has been knighted or something equally rewarding. But take it from me, a legitimate PB addict, it does get better. Next time you make a PB+J, swap the jelly for the syrup. Eat first. Thank me later.

4) MAPLE SYRUP + HAM SANDWICH This isn’t really that weird, but people freak out when I tell them. Honey and maple-glazed ham is a normal thing, people. Essentially that’s all we’re doing here. We’re glazing the ham ourselves... With syrup... Then putting it in some bread. Yea, okay, it’s a little weird, but it’s legitimately awesome. Trust me. I’m Canadian. It’s physically impossible for me to lie.

5) MAPLE SYRUP + SNOW Obviously this would work with shaved ice. It’s not nearly as authentic, but it’ll work if you don’t have snow on hand. Scoop it in a bowl, drizzle the syrup on in, serve with a spoon. Voila!

CAJUN-LAMB STEW

By Lennie Galloway Stews are one of the greatest meals to make as you can throw almost anything in them. Not-so-fresh veggies can be revived, that rejected can of lentils can finally become useful and really shitty cuts of meat can become tender and delicious. So, in the spirit of autumn, despite the lingering warmth of summer, I give you my hearty Cajun-lamb stew recipe that will make you feel all cosy inside.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

1 large onion 1 can whole (or chopped) tomatoes in puree 1 mini can of coconut cream Olive oil 1 carrot ½ butternut pumpkin 2 lamb shanks Salt Greggs Cajun seasoning 2 cups water 1 large pot A knife A chopping board

1. Add 1 diced onion, 1 sliced carrot, 2 tsp olive oil and ¼ cup of water to a large pot. Cook on a low heat until soft.

(Tip: While people typically rely on oil or butter to cook onion soft, it can be really high in fat so using water is a great substitute).

2. Then add 1 can of tomatoes and 1 mini can of coconut cream. Bring to the boil then put in 1/2 cubed pumpkin and 2 whole lamb shanks. Add 1 tbsp Cajun seasoning, 2 tsp salt, 2 cups of water and let it simmer on a low-medium heat with the lid on until meat is cooked through (roughly 20 mins).

This is a great time to carry on with study... or watching TV... as long as you’re in earshot/can see the pot.

3. Once the meat is tender, remove it from the pot and cut the meat off the bone and then add back in to the pot.

4. Serve immediately by itself or with toasted bread to dip. Yum!

17

GAME OF THRONES

BARATHEON BASTARD CASTRATION CATELYN DAENERYS

DIREWOLVES GREYJOY HODOR INCESTUOUS JAIME

JOFFREY KHALEESI LANNISTER REDWEDDING SANSA

TYRION VALYRIAN WESTEROS WILDLINGS WINTERFELL

Circle all the words in the Game Of Thrones Wordfind, tear this page out & pop it into the box on the side of the red debate stands, and you could win two "Squawk Burgers' vouchers for Velvet Burger, Auckland CBD! Tooooo easy! Winner will be notified by email.

Name:

Email:

DID YOU KNOW? MOTHS HAVE NO STOMACHS

WORD JUMBLER

TYRION How many words of three letters or more can you find without cheating? Probably not that many…

6-12 Go back to school 13-20 Average Joe 21+ You did good kid.

THE FIRST PLACE IN THE WORLD TO ALLOW WOMEN TO VOTE NEW ZEALAND

44% OF PEOPLE HAVE BROKEN A BONE

THE AVERAGE PERSON HAS OVER 1,460 DREAMS A YEAR

AN AREA OF THE SUN'S SURFACE TO THE EQUIVALENT OF A POSTAGE STAMP WOULD SHINE WITH THE BRIGHTNESS OF OVER 1,500,000 CANDLES

THE WORD FORTNIGHT IS A CONTRACTION OF THE 2 WORDS 'FOURTEEN NIGHTS'

THE AVERAGE WOMAN WILL CONSUME OVER 2.7KG (6 POUNDS) OF LIPSTICK IN THEIR LIFETIME

ARMADILLOS HAVE 4 BABIES AT A TIME AND ARE ALL THE SAME SEX

CATS HAVE OVER 100 VOCAL CHORDS THE MOST COMMONLY FORGOTTEN ITEM FOR TRAVELERS IS THEIR TOOTHBRUSH A GROUP OF RHINOS IS CALLED A CRASH

by Che Crawford 19

MEET THE MP

JACINDA ARDERN comes from all New Zealanders having access to the same opportunities, such as decent housing, and education.

“We consider them universals but at the moment they’re not.”

“If you’re in a poor community you’re less likely to be able to access early childhood education and we know that it does make a difference in the kind of education that child will have from then on, even in their brain development.”

“There’s no doubt that poverty is a relative measure but I think it’s really dismissive to say that because we don’t have children that mirror the ads we see from World Vision that we don’t have poverty in New Zealand and that we shouldn’t be moved to action.”

She says one way child poverty can be healed is by developing schools as an access point for services.

“The thing you can guarantee you can access people is through health and through education and so those are things that are two access points we should make use of.”

On tertiary education, Ardern says universities need to think beyond the first year to encourage diversity.

By Cameron Carpenter Labour list MP and Auckland central candidate Jacinda Ardern says this year her key election focus is building a New Zealand where everyone has access to the same opportunities.

She says during her early years growing up in the small town of Murupara was when she first encountered inequality, where some of her classmates came to school without lunch and shoes.

“It’s a town that suffers from the fact that there’s not enough employment there and all of the issues that then come with that,” she told debate.

status. Her work with the group took her to Lebanon, the West Bank, Mumbai and the refugee camps in Algeria.

“Those young people who were there had managed for a period of time to lead the refugee camps and educate,” she says. “They were marine biologists, teacher’s chemists, and a whole range of professions, but there they were in the middle of the desert completely trapped with no hope of being able to use their potential.”

Despite being passionate about her work overseas, she says the issues at home in New Zealand brought her back for the 2008 election campaign, where she won a seat in the house.

“Even those short few years living in that place, it has really focussed my mind on both the power that government has to damage but also the power it has to make really positive change.”

“I feel an enormous sense of responsibility and have a love for this place that also can’t be surpassed by anywhere else.”

Ardern attended Waikato University, where she earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Communications. She then worked as a policy advisor for Helen Clark. Then came an OE in New York, campaigning for workers' rights, and a three-year stint as a policy advisor in

As Labour’s spokesperson for children she says her key priority nationally is building a country that is the best place in the world for children and cites figures that show 27 per cent of Kiwi children grow up in poverty.

the UK. She became President of the International Union of Socialist Youth – a group which has United Nations consulting

“It’s not just a moral issue – it’s an economic one as well and child poverty costs up to $6 billion per annum in terms of picking up the pieces.”

She believes that enabling social mobility

CHILD POVERTY KEY PRIORITY

“We need universities to think beyond that initial year prior to enrolment, and tracking into school earlier and thinking what they can do to support a greater range of people at their institutions.”

She says under a Labour government the student loan system would be overhauled, including legislation which means postgraduate students are not eligible for the student allowance.

“Policies that stop students from accessing lifelong learning are crazy.”

She also believes the benefit system is not well equipped to support people when they’re not getting enough work.

“Our focus is how we give greater security in employment, but also that the wages that you earn are enough to survive on.”

Despite the party hitting a polling low last week, Ardern is optimistic it will continue to move forward.

“It was a poll of 750 people. I spend a lot of time talking to a lot of people and just my sense is a lot of people haven’t made up their mind yet. They’re listening and they’re waiting, and we’ve got much more to say about the plan, the vision, we have for New Zealand. I think we’ll see a lot of movement.”

Interview by Erica McQueen Ellen 17, Tara 22 New Zealand bloggers, sisters, students with a love of attainable fashion

favourite thing I've sewn would probably be either my ball dress or a black dress I made with cut outs in the back. Both I designed and made myself so that always makes it seem cooler.

How did it all begin?

Ellen: I originally started the blog on one bored summer day with another friend. When Tara found out about the blog, it kind of morphed into a little fun activity we did together and we began taking photos of each other’s outfits more often. Tara then gave the blog a little makeover and I think our followers started to increase.

Ellen - Do you sew at all?

Ellen: I sew a little bit - Tara and our mum taught me, but I don’t think I have the patience and skill like Tara does haha!

Tara: I had always been a pretty big follower of fashion blogs but had never considered having one myself. I just liked looking at others and getting inspiration. But one day I was on our family computer and saw the blog open by accident.

Soon after, Ellen went on holiday and I decided I'd try doing a few posts while she was away. It was fun so I kept doing posts and when looking at other blogs we decided to try transition from a hobby project to a proper looking blog with our own designs and layout.

Blog name meaning?

Ellen: The name was inspired by the famous Julius Caesar quote "I came, I saw, I conquered". It’s a quote that for some reason I have always loved and wanted to put a little fashion twist on it.

Tara: It was all Ellen :) What’s the craziest thing you’ve each done for Shop Style Conquer?

Ellen: I think we do some crazy things trying to get pictures for the blog. One time we got mum to drive us down to Onehunga Bay to take photos in the rain. Tara sat in the car with the window down while I ran out into the rain in my new dress, we came home grumpy and wet, but the photos turned out really cool!

Tara: Yeah I broke my best umbrella that day but it was for a good cause. I think our neighbours think we're crazy sometimes, standing in the middle of the road taking photos all the time.

Tara - I’ve seen on the blog you do quite a bit of sewing. What’s the favourite thing you’ve made? Do you use bought patterns or make your own?

Tara: I do sew quite a lot, just because a lot of the time I can't find clothes I want, or I can’t afford the ones I do. Sometimes I use patterns (Burda magazine from the library is my go to). These tend to be when I'm lucky enough to find one to match my criteria or I just love. But a lot of the time I will make my own patterns. I really enjoy getting to see the whole process from sketch to finished product, though it doesn't always go as planned! My

Who takes the photos for the blog?

Most of the time we take the photos of each other just around our neighbourhood, but occasionally we get friends and family to take them too.

What can we expect to see from you over the next year?

We are still constantly learning about the world of blogging, we hope we can just grow and really develop our blog into something that we can be proud of and appeals to lots of people.

What’s your favourite post so far?

Ellen: Mine would definitely have to be the one that I mentioned above that we did in the rain.

The custom made dress was sent to us from an online website (msdressy.com) to feature on our blog. I felt like such a princess shooting in it and the photos Tara took just looked amazing when we put them up on the blog with the bright orange dress against the dark rainy skies. We got a lot of positive feedback for that one, so definitely a favourite for me.

The blog is very fashion focused. In what other ways are you creative and crafty?

Tara: Well other than the the fashiony sewing and jewellery making I do also do a bit of painting and what I call origami paintings/art. This is where I basically make pieces of origami and either stick them on a canvas in a particular way or paint over the top of it. Plus I've always liked design, and I was the one that did the header and sidebar stuff for the blog.

Ellen: Haha I think Tara does more crafty things than me, but our mother used to be an art teacher so I always enjoy a painting or knitting project in the holidays. I also love photography and Tara and I each have our own art collection made up of prints from various artists from the Muka Print Exhibition.

And the blog itself, did you design and set it all up yourselves?

Tara: At first we just used the blogspot sample stuff.

But after I got involved properly and Ellen had been showing me some of the blogs she liked (and I was thinking about my past experiences with blogs) and felt we needed to make our own images and look rather than preset options. So

I just worked on some different designs and we picked the handwritten look for the banner and signing off. Ellen had always been in charge of the sidebar, but after we started getting more involved in social media pages I wanted to make a graphic for the links to all of those. So that was the latest addition, playing off our photos where we like to take advantage of the beautiful nature around us in New Zealand. I'm wanting to do a little revamp on it all when I get time though.

Favourite item of clothing you own?

Ellen: One item I constantly feature in blog posts is this high waisted yellow mid-length pleated skirt. I actually got it at Savemart for $10. I love op-shopping and I've never been able to top that yellow skirt.

Tara: Oh dear, it changes constantly. But for a while I always seem to grab my lego watch or my hunger games necklace. Because they're accessories I can wear them with pretty much anything, and they also make great talking points!

Rumour has it you’ve both worked in a highend department store. Has that influenced you at all?

Tara: Haha yeah I've been working there while at uni. The dress code means I own a lot more business clothing, and it has sort of bled a bit into my everyday look and I don't really feel overdressed to anything anymore. It has also warped my sense of cost a bit - I look at prices differently and I've definitely come to appreciate good quality things. Its lucky I don't work in the fashion department though or I would have no money left for my other love, food.

Ellen: I just worked there over this past Christmas gift wrapping, but the gift wrapping station was conveniently placed in the womenswear department so on slow days I had time to ogle all the clothes. I definitely loved the chic and elegant feel the place had.

Any advice to those keen on starting up a blog?

Go for it! Get on blogger.com, pick a name and purpose and you’re off! Blogging is a learn as you go kind of thing, so our advice is just to get out there and give it a try.

Any final words of wisdom?

Ellen: “Life is like ice cream, eat it before it melts.

One lick at a time.” I found this online one day when scouring the internet for other blogs, I don't know why, but it’s now one of my favourite quotes.

Tara: Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life (Almost Confucius)

21

FEATHERS TO FEATHERS

by Kelly Pochyba If there’s one thing I’ve noticed recently, it’s this #stoponlinebullying saga that has been trending so hard on Twitter over the past few weeks, a trend I’ve always just kinda ignored. I mean, I knew what was happening (Re: Charlotte Dawson) and I thought it was pretty rough but I never put too much thought into it. I’ve heard the whole ‘everyone loves you when you’re dead’ and other phrases such as “yolo” and never really thought about them much, but the other day I was stopped in my tracks and everything, including my life, flashed before my eyes.

It was approximately 6 o’ clock on a Tuesday evening - the second official day of uni - and I was waiting for my 6:15 Wakapacific bus, which is never on time (or decides to just leave early). Anyway, there was this one pigeon that was annoying the fuck out of me, just getting too close to my legs, being all diseased, and everyone was kinda hoping it would just piss off. At the time I just didn’t feel bad at all, I just wanted that thing to fuck off for once and for all.

After about 10 minutes of being an absolute annoying piece, the pigeon decides to sit on the road, and everyone around was like oh thank fuck. I mean, no one said it but we were all thinking it.

There was a bus parked about 10 meters away, and usually when ANYTHING comes close to a pigeon or any bird for that matter, they

just gap it. Well, this did not happen. The bus starts and the pigeon just stays put, and the bus keeps coming closer, and everyone knows what’s about to happen apart from the bus driver and the pigeon, and I’m sitting there like oh fuck….. And then it happens.

The noise, THE GOD DAMN NOISE… So the bus keeps moving forward to reveal a pile of flesh and feathers and everyone looks so guilty, hating themselves and knowing they are no longer going to have a great evening as planned. (Sex and the City season three for me.)

Now before you go assuming things, I’m not comparing Charlotte Dawson to a pigeon. I’m saying if you think someone or something is annoying as fuck, don’t be a cunt. Just don’t. Everyone at that bus stop had singled that pigeon out, and no one even thought about what was about to happen, or what could have happened, they didn’t know that was the last moments of that pigeon.

All I know is that I’m sitting here typing this, Sex and the City is paused 13 minutes in because I can’t enjoy it and I have to just get this off my chest. Pigeon wherever you are (probably still on Tyler St, still getting run over) I hope you are in a better place, and I truly am sorry. #yolo #everyonelovesyouwhenyouredead #rip

Not so sisterly love

FEMINISM IS HURTING WOMEN.

By Jessie Song

by Michelle Lee

G

E

ender equality has become a slogan that politicians love to wave around. But the reality is, whether in the West or the East, society is still dominated by men. Feminism hasn’t brought happiness to women obsessed with overachieving or comparing themselves to men, only misery from the inevitable disappointment of unrealistic expectations.

The false confidence of believing that men and women are equal has created an abundance of overqualified single women struggling against their ticking biological clock, because feminists convinced them that their priority is to spend their most crucial years ‘proving themselves’. We’re pushed to achieve excellence in education and fight the uphill battle for workplace equality when it’s simply not practical for companies to hire women who are at childbearing age for fear of having to pay maternity leave. Given the chance to hire two people with the same qualifications, would you choose the one that might require paid maternity leave or the one that won’t have to take time off? Alternatively, biologically driven desires like having a family are put on hold for our careers until it’s too late.

One need only examine the sorry state of the modern western family to see how unsustainable and unhealthy feminism is. Women already had an important and valued role in society, feminism simply made the role twice as difficult.

Before you get mad at me, I’m not advocating that women should be treated like second-class citizens. I’m simply pointing out that it’s difficult to maintain both a healthy family life and a successful career, and in some cases, it’s impossible. When feminists demand ‘equal pay and work’ they are not in fact, asking for ‘equality’, but quite the opposite. They are asking companies to ignore the inevitable eventuality of paying maternity leave, and possibly losing a valued employee that they invested in, because she might choose to be a full time mother for a few years.

The feminist movement has hurt women egregiously by dividing us, pitting “stay at home moms” and “successful business women who don’t need no man” against each other, while seriously devaluing the contribution that women traditionally made to the family. The movement may have made strides towards ‘equal pay’ and opened up career doors that weren’t previously available, but left us without the support or resources for prioritising all these choices. We are an exhausted generation of daughters who try to be wives, mothers and managers all at the same time. The insanity of trying to lead this triple life is paraded as proof that “women can do anything (that men can)”!

Maternity leave is great, but raising a child is more than just giving birth and breastfeeding for a few months. Diminishing the role of the housewife and pushing women into the paid work force is not doing society any favours.

ver went mad or slightly insane because of one of your siblings? I’m sure many people can relate to this one! If you can’t, well maybe we’re just not on the same page but hear me out. Sometimes, I admire and even get slightly jealous of people that have easy-going relationships with their brothers or sisters. I honestly wish I had that! Ever seen the Hunger Games or Frozen? The siblings go to great lengths to save one another. Well, my relationship with my sister is the exact opposite of what you see in the movies. Yup..it has been a war zone between us ever since we knew how to speak and use our hands and feet! After 20 odd years, I’ve come up with solutions which you may find helpful if you have siblings or flatmates that you have to live with whilst you push through University. It might even earn you some silence once in a while!

Disclaimer: your personal results may vary and your nana might disapprove of some of these tactics..

Problem 1: Your siblings never clean the house/bathroom because they are filthy animals and like to live like a pig!

Solution: Clean everything but not their belongings. For example, my sister and I share a bathroom and no, she doesn’t clean at all. SO…when I’m on cleaning duties, all her belongings (i.e. earrings, bracelets, hair ties and/or makeup) goes straight back to her room (where I put it is another story as that depends on how I’m feeling at that particular minute! It’s kinda fun to hide it in places she would never look! ). In regards to her face products (you know what I mean), I just let them collect dust whilst mine are spotless. This is because I HOPE if I do this often enough, she will eventually start to realise her belongings are missing and ask where they are.. and BOOM! that is when I’ll discretely make her clean the bathroom.

Problem 2: Your siblings use up all of the laundry baskets because they haven’t put away their clean laundry or washed their dirty ones either.

Solution: I actually still don’t know how people can do that! How can you not run out of clothes? Maybe I’m just super poor with limited options. If you know me, you would know I wear pretty much the same thing every week! Anyway, the solution for this problem would be to chuck the clean ones on their bed and take/hide the basket. This way, it forces them to put their clothes away.

Even if they don’t put it away, it doesn’t matter ‘cause it’s not on your bed and you get to use the basket, bonus! When you’re done, don’t forget to hide the basket, so it eliminates the chances of them finding it and using it again! I usually take note of what they’re wearing/have been wearing to identify the dirty basket. But, if you’re brave enough, go ahead and have a sniff through the pile!

Problem 3: Your siblings secretly eat/drink from your personal stash until you notice it’s all gone!

I am not insisting that women should not or cannot work, but the feminist myth that women must work outside the home to be ‘successful’ or ‘valuable’ is immensely damaging. Neither should women give up trying to lead successful and fulfilling careers, but keep in mind that though there have been many successful, powerful female leaders, they are the exception, not the rule, and feminists tend to ignore the sacrifices these women made in order to achieve their ambitions.

Solution: Personally, I can’t stand this! You bought it with your hard-earned cash and you just want to reward yourself for being the hard-working champ that you have been in the past week. I remember once I bought some locally harvest juice from Matakana Market and forgot to label it as I thought no one would fancy its distinctive sharp flavour – feijoa and apple. Clearly, I was wrong. The next time I saw it, it was in the recycling bin instead of the fridge!

(I’m just glad it wasn’t alcohol) So, labelling your food might seem a bit selfish but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do! (You’re already on limited funds after your loan!) If that doesn’t work, maybe get a mini fridge in your room or hide the dry goods in your room. It definitely worked for me! Well, I couldn’t afford a fridge so if I’m not up for sharing, it’s dry goods only. You’ve gotta compromise in times of desperation!

I dislike the idea that women are simply ‘baby making machines’, but biologically speaking, that’s 100% true. Denying the fundamental imperative of reproductive biology is an act of willful blindness. This isn’t a simplistic man vs. woman issue. It is merely common sense and survival.

Feminism and egalitarianism are thus socially suicidal.

Nevertheless, I still love my sister because she is my sister after all! We have a love-hate relationship (sometimes more hate than love) but you gotta do what you gotta do to stay sane for the sake of graduating! Anyway, thanks for reading! Hope this helped brighten your day after a long bus ride to uni!

23

NINE INCH NAILS OF THE STONE AGE

image source: http://robsheridan.tumblr.com

Reviewed by Matthew Cattin It ain’t often little old New Zealand, a coupla rocks floating alone and isolated in the Pacific, get their hands on a gig that makes the rest of the world jealous. In fact, last week’s incredible double bill of QOTSA and NIN might be the first such spectacle. When it was first announced, I nearly shat myself – it was all just a little bit too much to handle. My first thoughts were “we’re not worthy… There must be some mistake…” But a mistake it was not.

Last Wednesday, the two legendary acts absolutely destroyed Vector Arena with their distinctive brands of alternative rock. As far as rock gigs go this year, this is the one to beat. After my boy toy Springsteen that is…

Opening the night’s fiesta was Australian punk rocker and Josh Homme’s wifey Brody Dalle. The words “blow me” adorned the back of her outfit and her seemingly bored energy seemed to mirror that expression. She reminded me a lot of Courtney Love, screeching her way through a half hour set of mindless punk tunes. I’d like to say it was a fun time… But it really wasn’t. More like a Nirvana tribute minus the energy and catchy hooks. Luckily, this was not a taste of things to come.

I have to say, I’ve never been so excited in an intermission as I was after Brody Dalle finished whinging. Having no idea who had won the coin toss to headline, we watched in eager anticipation, speculating endlessly about who would open proceedings. A synth was brought on stage and straight away, we locked in NIN. But then, after seeing it was just a lone synth, we changed our tunes. Oh how exciting!

Queens strolled on at ten to eight, suave as hell. The drums kicked into life, cranking into their classic opener You Think I Ain’t Worth a Dollar but I Feel like a Millionaire and the crowd surged in delight – it was beautiful. Opting for a relatively simple yet effective stage setup, Queens were backed by a towering LCD display of creepy imagery, red hues and album themes. Lookin’ good fellas.

It became quickly apparent Josh Homme is pretty much the smoothest guy out, the swag king. The way he moves around stage and holds his face, it’s just priceless. It’s almost as though he is frightfully bored at just how awesome he is.

As a frontman though, he’s a delight to watch, sexy and in top form. Breaking into their biggest hit No One Knows second song in turned the pit into an absolute frenzy of bogans and I was already sweating like a homophobe at a pride parade. Great call Queens…

For the next 80 minutes, they really didn’t put a foot wrong. Playing heavily from their latest album, the brilliant …Like Clockwork, their new tunes were deservedly received as well as their old, the crowd singing along in boyish unison to My God is the Sun, I Sat by the Ocean and piano ballad The

Vampyre of Time and Memory. Being a bit more contemplative and slow than previous albums however, their new tunes were clearly popular choices but didn’t quite whip the crowd into a crazed frenzy like the old chuggers Little Sister, Feel Good Hit of the Summer and Song for the Dead – them songs be wild.

The set was dirty, it was rough and it was flawless. The Queens delivered like a well-oiled machine, barely pausing for breath between tunes. At no point did the setlist lag and I could have partied with Homme and co all night. After nearly an hour and half however, they waved farewell and swagged off to hearty applause. I could have gone home satisfied at that, but oh how much more there was to come.

The moment the Queens’ distortion faded to silence, Trent Reznor’s presence descended upon Vector. As the technicians hurried out like bees to pack down and set up the new rig, Trent’s familiar pulse of dark electronica played over the sound system. Half an hour before setting foot on stage, he was creating an atmosphere, his atmosphere. The man is all class. Like a dark cloud rolling in over the stage, a new lighting rig descended overhead and half a dozen light stacks were rolled to the back of stage in front of a black curtain – at this point I was nearly wetting myself.

He bounded on stage in his signature black vest to the building pulse of Hesitation Marks’ Copy of A, his ridiculously ripped arms gripping the mic stand. He was a bundle of energy and, backed by his astounding light show, the crowd was putty from the get go. In seconds, the floor turned into a creepy, dark rave, sweaty bodies going absolutely berserk. As the song built, the members of his touring band walked on one by one and mounted their instruments, adding to the depth of his signature sound.

Apart from a slight lull mid set, in which his wife Mariqueen Maandig came out to perform two How to Destroy Angels covers, it was a brilliant set by Reznor and band, a solid blend of new and old, slow grooves, electronica raves and hard and heavy mosh numbers. I feel like his energy and intense atmosphere united and engaged the crowd more than Queens managed to, but being a bigger NIN fan, perhaps I’m displaying some bias.

Closing the set with the killer combo of The Hand that Feeds, Head like a Hole and of course the beautiful and haunting closer Hurt, the night ended perfectly, it was essentially the holy trinity of music. Head like a Hole was up there with the best songs I have ever seen live and Hurt was just something else altogether, a singalong that could bring a tear to the eye of even the burliest of bogans. Needless to say, I went home an extremely satisfied and sweaty boy. Thank you to everybody who made this night happen – it was maybe the best thing that happened to our country. Ever.

25

DAT CLASS

by Laurien Barks So, the other day I was in a meeting. An actual meeting surrounded by important people with authority and paperwork and stuff. A meeting that actually propelled me to put on a sleek black skirt, black tights, and shoes that didn’t have a single flower, feather, or sparkle on them (What? Is that even possible?). I’m not going to lie. I looked stylish. I felt important. I felt, dare I say it, like a lady.

Right at the tail end of this meeting, midconversation, I went to take a sip out of my water bottle and just like that, the facade was ruined. All of the hard work I had put into the past hour with my appearance, my carefully considered diction, my polite titter of giggles, all wasted. The true me decided enough is enough, she didn’t want to be restrained any longer, and out she came a-bursting!

Despite the water bottle being aligned with my mouth, the water still managed to miss its target, and instead came pouring out all over my face, my modestly concealed bosom, and the paperwork that sat in front of me. In the moments that followed, after awkwardly dabbing the water off of my chest without looking like I was copping a weird selfish feel, I desperately tried to think of what I could say to preserve a hint of my dignity. The only words to bashfully surface, however, were “I may not be as classy as I originally let on”.

Luckily, I had made an okay impression prior to the water incident, so the important people found the newly damp girl with a blob of mascara smeared on her cheek to be endearing - or pathetic and in desperate

need of sympathy. Either way, I said goodbye to a smiling table of people. It wasn’t this exact incident that got me thinking, it was actually a reaction to it that inspired me to write this.

When I told one of my good friends about the water spillage, he looked at me, cocked his head to the side, smiled sweetly, and sighed “ohhh Laurien”. There was the perfect mix of mockery and sympathy in his unsurprised tone. He continued on to try and patch my wounded ego by saying I was perfectly lovable, but would never personify the definition of classy. My reflexing middle finger and eloquently strung ‘Shut your stupid face, bitch,’ obviously proved him wrong, but even so, I’ve come to realize that he had a point.

I’ve never been classy. Sure I’ve acted like a sophisticated lady at times, but as the previous example has stated, even the best actress can’t avoid unforeseen disasters.

Despite our desperate efforts, the classless are an unfortunate breed, and our boorish ways always catch up to us in the end. I blame both nature and nurture for this. There is no ‘versus’ necessary in this version of the theory. They are both contributing bastards to my chronic lack of elegance, and inevitable foreveraloneness, and therefore deserve to be blamed equally.

When I look into the vast foliage of my family tree, I have no trouble finding an explanation for my less-than-posh ways. To be honest, I’m surprised I’m not worse off. Gauging from the fruits that I’ve found in that tree, the fact that I’m not married to my cousin, smearing tribal paint on my naked brethren, or flashing my goodies at strangers on the street, places me in a classier position than many family members.

Yet, I still have childhood memories of my dad setting our lawn on fire because “there are too many weeds”, my grandmother force feeding me the innards of some kind of bird that she cooked and probably killed herself, and a mother who belches and blows it in my face on a semi-regular basis (though she would disown

me if she knew I wrote that... She’s still under the impression that she’s a swanky uptown gal. So cute!). Needless to say, it’s not hard for me to find a hereditary explanation for my spreadeagle chair-sitting style, lack of saliva control when speaking (or even sometimes while not speaking), and misguided understanding that it’s okay to shove food inside of someone’s mouth when I want them to taste something.

As far as the ‘nurture’ component of my classless theory goes, I’m pretty sure that 90 per cent of my less-than-ladylike charms originated within my childhood friendships. I’ve always been that girl who’s surrounded by boys. Wait...no...not THAT girl. Not the pretty one with long hair and sparkly eyes that has every young lad tripping over in a desperate flurry of hormonal desire. No, no... I was the other one.

The one covered in mud/sand, with scraped knees from bike accidents, hair chopped short because her mum got sick of the ‘hair combing wars’, and usually spotted shouting at some idiot who had cheated at whatever madeup sport she was playing. I was surrounded by dudes because I was one. And let’s face it, the moment a little lady mimics any kind of boyish behaviour, she’s pretty much eliminated any chance of ever being considered classy. So, you see, despite me growing to be a bit more feminine over time, because I was such a little boy during the fundamental developing years of my life, it’s no surprise that some of those behaviours stuck with me. I will always laugh at toilet humour, I will never turn down a spitting contest, I think dick drawings are hilarious, I will unashamedly tackle you if I think I can get away with it, and I will therefore, never be classy. And I think that’s okay.

So, if you find yourself feeling lost and alone because of your lack of elegance, girlish charm, or general ‘tres chic’ness...hit me up. We can hang out and like, wipe our noses with the back of our hands and stuff.

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27

That special place

by Matthew Cattin Being constantly surprised by the ever-changing landscape that is the back of my hand, I’m loath to use the time old saying to describe Whananaki. It’s my special place – I’m sure everybody has one – a place I could navigate safely in my sleep, with shuffling feet finding familiar footholds in the earth.

Not too far north of Whangarei, my parents introduced me to Whananaki at the tender age of one. For the next 20 years, I never missed a summer frolicking on its many beaches – it became a home away from home.

Camping beneath the ancient pohutukawas at Otamure Bay, I had my idyllic and classic kiwi summers, postcard perfect and stored safely in memory. If I add up the time I’ve spent sleeping with canvas for a roof up there, it’d be just shy of two year’s I’d wager – thanks ma and pa.

You did good.

I’m sure many kiwis have a similar destination in mind when I speak of Otamure Bay, a retreat they’ve visited every summer since they came to be – whether it be a bach or camping spot, holiday park or hobbit hole in the ground.

I guess it’s a blessing that comes part and parcel of living in dear Aotearoa – that of course and the kiwi love for taking time off work.

Having been going there since before I could walk, the place has become like family. It fills me with an inexplicable glee every time I drive north past Orewa and likewise a glum sensation when I head south – and not purely because Hamilton is down that way. And Huntly...

The drive up north used to feel so intrepid, so long and tiresome. With the trailer secured on the back, kayaks strapped to its roof, we would leave in the early morning and I could swear to you now it would take the whole day to get there. Perhaps it was my childish carsickness that stretched out the hours, but nowadays it’s a relatively small drive – a mere two and a half hours from home. Back in the day though, passing the time counting possums and playing eye-spy, it was quite the journey.

This of course leads me to that point in the drive where you round the corner and suddenly your special place is revealed, the ocean sparkling in the sun the same as it was when you left near eleven months ago. The family Holden rolls over the grass to claim the coveted spot, the door opens, the familiar smell sneaks in and potential adventures unravel in your thoughts. It takes all day to set up your temporary new existence, pumping up air beds, getting the gas fridge level and assembling your canvas homes. '

That first night is always the sweetest. You lay there on your air bed, snug as a bug in a rug, listening to the surf pound on the beach – home at last. When you wake up (usually super early because of the gulls or sun), it takes a few moments to realise where you are, but then you click and, remembering there are no showers, head straight to the beach for a frosty wakeup.

At Otamure, I still know which cracks in the rocks will harbour the biggest crabs and find myself getting pissed off when I see young’uns heading around the points with sticks and buckets. Having spent my youth climbing the reserve’s pohutukawas as part of the ‘Otamure tree climbing club’ I feel like I know every knot, root and branch, as well as the best way to attempt each ascent.

Again, when I see littlies climbing the trees I always feel a tad fierce and competitive, judging their technique and grinning like a devil when they get stuck and call for their dads. Clearly, they would never have made it as a level 10 climber in the club…

Over the last 20 years, despite our wishes, Otamure has changed to accommodate the increasing demand for family getaways. Where once we could play soccer or bat-down on the camping grounds on Christmas Eve, it is now packed with tents and families. With each year that passes, the trees – not quite as young as they used to be – lose a few more branches. Whether they’re taken by the storms or by arborists, I always notice their absence and find myself contemplating the day they all disappear. The squeaky swing gate has been replaced with automated arms like a mid-city carpark, the grass road with gravel and shortly after, tar seal. It’s all getting a little fast-paced for my liking.

One of my greatest pleasures is showing friends around Whananaki’s many beaches, lookout spots, surf breaks, rock pools and lagoons. I feel like the greatest of tour guides, prepped with years of experience, memories and knowledge. I’m fiercely proud and will wage word wars with anybody claiming their holiday hideaway is better. It ain’t. It’s an impossibility you will just have to deal with.

I sometimes wonder about taking my potential future babies away camping, the way my folks took me. I ponder the amount of change Otamure Bay has been through over my lifetime and whether it will still be worth visiting 10, 15, 20 years down the line. Will there still be crayfish hiding away in the weedy crevices? Will future storms have gotten the best of the mighty pohutukawas?

Will there even be a camping ground? Or will the land be sold to a private investor? It’s a scary thought, but not an unlikely one. Perhaps I will have to look further afield to find a new summer destination to call my own.

But until that day comes, I will always call Otamure my home away from home.

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31

REVIEWS

Do your strong opinions drive away your friends? Send us an email at mcattin@aut.ac.nz to contribute to our reviews section.

Three Mile Limit Directed by: Craig Newland Starring: Bruce Hopkins, David Aston, Matt Whelan

Thinking I was going into this movie completely blind, turns out I actually knew a fair bit of the true story it was based on thanks to some essays I wrote last year. Pfft, and people say Media Comm is a waste of time…

For those who have no clue what Three Mile Limit is about, it follows the creation of the first pirate radio station in New Zealand; Radio Hauraki (sound familiar?). This group of people essentially defied the law of the time, sourced an illegal radio transmitter, and set up shop on an old boat in the middle of the Hauraki Gulf. This was all just so they could play rock’n’roll music on the airwaves and stick it to the man that was the New Zealand government. Think The Boat that Rocked but with less sex and drugs and a whole lot more of a ‘she’ll be right’ attitude. The crazy thing about the storyline though, is that it’s based on a true story. In the present day where any type of music on the radio is at our fingertips, you’ve really got to admire these people’s passion.

The unfortunate thing was, whilst it’s such an exciting story, some of this just didn’t quite reflect on screen. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely some moments where I was totally immersed in the story. But there were moments some yawns escaped too. That being said, I definitely don’t think it deserves the bad wrap some New Zealand critics have been giving it. It saddens me to think it has done so successfully on the international film festival circuit, yet has little to no support back home. It honestly is a great story, and you can see how hard the team behind it has worked to make as high a quality film as possible on a small budget.

Reviewed by Natasha Free As a fellow kiwi and a ‘dedicated’ radio student, I thought it my duty to watch this movie. That, and my friend was an extra in it and you can see her for precisely two seconds, which is of course super exciting. Oh, and my old drama teacher was in it too, who I had a great time laughing at every time he came on. Even though he played a loan shark. Shot Mr Roberts!

All Is Lost Directed by: J. C. Chandor Starring Robert Redford

With my mini rant over, if you’re keen to see it and support some kiwi content I say go for it. Whilst it’s not a million dollar blockbuster fresh from the US, It’s not every day a New Zealand movie is in the cinemas, so make the most of it.

then, (spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the trailers), his boat is claimed by the sea and our sailor must survive with the few provisions he managed to rescue, all the while hoping he will come across another vessel that can save him.

All is Lost is unique in several ways. Redford is the only actor, and the most words we get out of him comes in a haunting opening monologue; otherwise, the sailor only speaks about 10 words throughout the entire 100 minute film. It allows for great music, as well as building tension, but I will admit that I found it hard to concentrate in an air conditioned movie theatre with no dialogue to keep me engaged. Unlike the aforementioned Pi and Gravity, this does not have the brilliant visuals to keep you watching at all moments, and quite a few scenes are essentially just an old man doing his chores, or long scenes of nothingness. Outside of several brilliant storm sequences and the tense final minutes, it is difficult to keep watching as they throw more and more unnecessary problems at the sailor and drag things out - the movie easily could have been 15 minutes shorter and been all the better for it.

Reviewed by Ethan Sills While the Oscars have been and gone, all the films that battled for awards recognition are still making their way into our cinemas. All is Lost is one of a very long list of movies that failed to make a splash (no pun intended) with the Academy voters this year, which seems a bit surprising since this film could quite easily be described as a Life of Pi – Gravity mash up. Though not as good as either of those films, this is still a solid entry.

Veteran actor Robert Redford stars as an aged sailor alone at sea, whose sailing boat is struck by a stray container. As he struggles to make the necessary repairs, our protagonist learns he is sailing directly into storm. And

The best part of the movie would have to be Redford. He does an incredible job conveying his character’s sense of evaporating hope, desperation and solitude. Redford did his own stunts, which is fairly impressive for a 70 plus actor, and I strongly believe he was robbed of a nomination in what would have been a winning performance any other year - it is worth seeing solely for him.

I would still recommend catching this at some point; All is Lost is very haunting, thematic and metaphoric if you are into that. It can be quite intense at times, but it just is not as captivating as it could have been. You can see why it was shut out in this year’s crowded race, but Redford should have received more attention for this amazing performance that carries an otherwise slow, at times lacklustre movie. Perhaps his upcoming performance in Captain America 2 will make up for things? Somehow, I highly doubt it…

Bruno Mars Concert Vector Arena

around me who were more educated on his music however seemed to love him, and he definitely did his darndest to get us amped. I couldn’t help but feel relieved however when he left the stage and the true countdown began.

Finally, Bruno Mars was here. Opening with Moonshine, the next hour and a half was a frenzy of music. He played all of his hits from his Unorthodox Jukebox album, and even managed to squeeze in some of his Doowops and Hooligans hits. I was loving it, there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing the artist’s music inside out and badly singing along. My particular favourites where his upbeat songs like Runaway Baby and Natalie. This was where I felt the show was really in its element. The band and Bruno all had choreographed dance moves they whipped out, and the visuals from the background screens were awesome. Everyone in the crowd was completely immersed, and it was an awesome feeling.

Reviewed by Natasha Free All the months of hinting and demanding had paid off. On Christmas day there it was, the ticket I was desperate to get my hands on; Bruno Mar’s Moonshine Jungle world tour! Months later the night finally arrived, and Mr Bruno sure did not disappoint.

His opening act Miguel didn’t particularly float my boat. I didn’t however know any of his songs except for his collab with Mariah Carey, Beautiful. People

300: Rise Of An Empire Starring: Sullivan Stepleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro Directed by: Noam Murro

I was surprised that he didn’t include Young Girls in his set list. It was a radio chart topper and would’ve been a great song to see live. Aside from that, he really did his best to fit in as many songs as possible into the show, which meant 100 per cent energy, 100 per cent of the time. Even in his slow numbers there was always something going on; cool lighting, band members grooving along, and moving stage pieces. We all felt for Bruno when he sang us “the hardest song to write and the hardest song to perform” When I Was Your Man. Bless. There really were no faults to the show, everything was perfectly polished.

The encore finished the night off perfectly, with Bruno leaving his big hits Locked Out of Heaven and Gorilla until last. I must admit I got distracted during Gorilla as a girl fainted a few people away from me. Really good timing on her part - I commend her. Overall it was an awesome night and definitely worth the $150 GA price. That small beautiful man will always have a place in my heart, and I will definitely be keen to see him again next time he’s down under.

have to say about this movie? The battle tactics used between the Themistokles and Artemisia were a bit unpredictable leaving me holding onto my half-eaten chip in some scenes!

The movie is based on the graphic novel 300, written by Frank Miller about the Battle of Thermopylae in which Themistokles (Sullivan Stepleton) attempts to unite Greece in order to win a war against the Persian army lead by Artemisia (Eva Green) and Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro), the acclaimed “God King” whom is trying to conquer Greece. Xerxes doesn’t appear much in this movie - my guess is that he will be taking the lead in the next sequel. As far as acting goes, I admire Green’s performance as a vengeful character and Stepleton’s role as a leader in the war with his serious eyes and excessive shouting.

As a female, I was automatically drawn to the clothing choice (might just be me...) worn by the actors, a mixture of traditional Greek with a bit of modern twist (sci-fi mostly). They were continuously brought up in different characters if you looked closely enough. To avoid any spoilers, I’ll just use one small example from the movie. The guards protecting Artemisia wore steel masks, which if I’m not mistaken, were probably not worn during that time. Oh and they also had dread locks which resembled Predator. There was one difference though – Predator had a mask to hide its faces whilst I think the guards used the masks to further enhance the violence and vengeance which Artemisia strongly holds.

For some reason, 300 reminded me of Game of Thrones because of its violent kills and its graphic beheadings of people with swords and knives. One difference between GOT and this movie however is that GOT actually seems pretty real and believable.

In conclusion, I enjoyed the movie but would not recommend spending money on it…

Sorry!

Reviewed by Michelle Lee I’m not going to lie - I haven’t seen the first 300 movie so I’m going in blind here. From the promotional material that I have seen on TV and billboards around town however, I realised it would be an action-packed, blood-filled movie. I was impressed.

In saying that, 300: Rise of an Empire was an average movie. The blood splatter and kills seemed all too digital and maybe that was the intention, but again, I have not seen the original 300 directed by Zack Snyder (Watchmen, Man of Steel). The best thing I

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