caffeinated banter Coffee, or “Cooooooofaaaaaaaay” as many choose to address it, is a drink
“consisting of an infusion of the roasted and ground or crushed seeds of the coffee tree” (Collins English Dictionary) or “what Columbians grow and export in an attempt to make the world think that they are not the world’s leading cocaine exporter” (Urban Dictionary).
About 94%* of society are obsessed with coffee, the other 6% of society haven’t tried it yet or have some horrific medical condition that prevents them from consuming liquids. This beverage has been around for centuries and its importance in society’s everyday lives cannot be underestimated. If you still are holding your green tea as you read this, then I have failed in my attempt to influence you on the significance of this beverage. So in order to make your next coffee experience a little richer, let’s head back into the historic depths of the origins of this drug. There are many legendary accounts of the origins of coffee. It has been said that a prophet once consumed a hot, black liquid given to him by an angel and promptly removed 40 knights from their horses and then satisfied 40 virgins in just one day (Who needs Viagra when we have coffee??).
However, many Google results point to the legend of an Ethiopian goat herder, called Kaldi. He noticed his goats would seem to have extra energy and not sleep at night after eating berries from a certain tree. The goat herder told a monk at the local monastery about it. The monk then threw the beans into the fire from which an enticing aroma arose from the embers. He then quickly raked up the embers and dissolved it in hot water. After drinking the drink he noticed that it helped him stay alert during the long evening prayers. Obviously, his monk friends wanted some of what he had and the worldwide addiction was born. Whether or not this was the exact origin of the famous concoction, the next time you take cup in hand, remember Kaldi and those hyperactive goats. Today coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world after oil (clearly the world has a thing for black liquids). The popularity of this beverage spans worldwide and is highly significant economically, politically and socially; with many associating coffee with weight gain, terrorist activity and social humiliation. This is subject matter that I warn you not to shy away from in this New Year. The world is supposed to end in 2012 and I really question the role coffee will play. In the meantime, upgrade to double shot, forget the trim milk, mix in two sugars and be merry.
*Statistics are legit in my mind.
Published on Mar 8, 2012