4 April 2013
Page 7
It turns out more people write songs about fools than they do the state of Delaware. There must be many fools around that have learned from their experiences. Listen to these foolish tunes and to past playlists online at tinyurl.com/a3cqe5y.
Rufus Wainright A " pril Fools"
Grant Perdew Culture
April Fools’ Day is a day that will live in absurdity. Unfortunately, depending on which side you are on, April first is the perfect opportunity for misfits, pranksters, and even the media to pull some legs and cause some confusion. Thanks to the Internet, I have compiled a few of the best mass-media April Fools’ Day pranks for your delighted pleasure. Thomas Edison’s Magic Food Creator, 1878 One of the oldest media pranks, America was convinced of this new technological breakthrough when The Daily Graphic published it more than a hundred years ago. This machine, “the Food Creator,” was a “machine that would feed the human race!” How, exactly, was unclear, but it would be able to manufacture meat, vegetables, biscuits, and wine using only water, air, and “common earth.” America knew that Edison was a genius, so he received a flood of letters from all parts of the country about the machine. The Return of Nixon, 1992 NPR made the bold prank of announcing that Richard Nixon, who in 1974 became the only U.S. president to resign from office, was running for president again. The slogan of Nixon’s new campaign, according to NPR, was, “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” The joke only lasted a few minutes, as they didn’t want to upset too many politicians.
Nat Tate, 1998 Author William Boyd wanted to publicize his new biography about famous American artist Nat Tate, so he and some collaborators arranged a giant launch party in NYC on April 1. David Bowie was even there reading extracts from the book, leading crowds to appreciate the great artist. The twist? Tate didn’t exist. The book was a mock biography, though the event still raised £7,250 for charity. Pi Rewritten, 2008 An executive with the Microsoft Institute for Advanced Technology in Governments revealed an updated value for pi that had been determined by Microsoft Research. The new value of pi was actually a definitive 3.141999, or as expressed in company literature, “three easy payments of 1.047333.” Swiss Spaghetti Harvest, 1957 The BBC decided to air a story on the fragile Swiss spaghetti crop, a key European food source. Including footage of peasants picking strands of pasta from trees, the BBC advised viewers on how to grow their own spaghetti garden. Around eight million viewers watched and were convinced that “after picking, the spaghetti is laid out to dry in the warm Alpine air.” Color (Nylon) TV, 1962 In Sweden at this time, television was still in black and white. On April 1, the station brought in a “technical expert” to describe a new way to turn your TV to color without a
hardware upgrade. Viewers were to take an old nylon stocking and put it over the TV set, although they may have to move their heads back and forth to align the color spectrum. Color TV didn’t come to Sweden for another four years. Left-Handed Burgers, 1998 Burger King ran an ad in USA Today saying people could get a Whopper specially created for left-handed people. The ad claimed that the condiments were designed to drip out of the right side. Apparently, the insides were rotated 180 degrees, which obviously makes a huge difference. Customers ordered the new burgers, but some specifically requested the “old” right-handed original anyway. PETA’s Fish Pills, 2001 When a big fishing competition was scheduled for April 1 on Lake Palestine in Texas, the notorious animal-rights group PETA promised to dissolve sleeping pills in to the lake to knock the fish out for the day and to spare them from being caught. Local newspapers took it seriously and complained of “borderline terroristic methods.” On the big day, park rangers were soon in position around the lake to stop any PETA members carrying armfuls of tranquilizer tablets.1 1. nbcnews.com/id/46908254 and guardian.co.uk/culture/gallery/2012/apr/01/10-best-april-fool-hoaxes.
The master of pop melodrama tells the tale of how the classic day of fools can humble anybody’s romantic notions. Hallelujah, the day of pranks is here.
Neutral Milk Hotel "The Fool"
The shortest song on the Louisiana indie rock band’s final album could serve as any prankee’s swan song. Essentially, it’s a funeral march with various instruments, perfect to play as your classmate discovers his or her room has been filled with balloons.
The Temper Trap
"Fools" The Australian rockers behind “Sweet Disposition” croon of desire and wants of fools in the world, filled in with their soft drums and chill synth pad. This song’s a good one to sing when you’re aching to make it to April 2.
Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?"
To answer the question asked in this song, I have no good answers. However, Frankie the teen star does with this early hit of the 1950s. Note to freshman: Don’t go falling in love on April Fools’ Day; it won’t be real.
Bobby “Blue” Bland "I Pity the Fool"
Long before the A Team and Mr. T’s famous saying came along, establishing its cultural preeminence, Bobby made success with a song of the same title. A swell tune to sing as you observe the terrible follies of April 1.
Superchunk "Like a Fool"
Eric Weber Diversions
Spring is finally here, and the flowers and blossoming trees have done a couple of things. Not only have they clogged my nasal passages, but they have also melted my hear t. Yes, world: I’m finally happy. Happiness has finally penetrated my body. To top off my happiness, my BFF (big-fannied friend) Kim Kardashian is having a baby! The only thing that would make me happier is if I were on a couch snuggling with Cee Lo Green (and his parrot) while watching Steve Buscemi twerk. Does that sound like a beautiful picture to you? It does to me. I blame all of this newfound happiness on a restful spring break, the fact that I don’t have to take any more math classes, and my increase in kitten-video watching. So, everyone, take my advice: take the rest of the week off. Who really needs a college education these days? I don’t. Happiness is simple; as Helen Keller once said — YOLO.
The legacy of the North Carolina rockers may have been built upon the bashing riffs and attitudes of the early ’90s, but this album showed newfound maturity with this ballad of heartbreak.
Aprillipäivä Anthems