SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING FOR PEOPLE GOING THROUGH LOSS AND GRIEF
W
e all experience bereavement, loss and grief at some stage of our lives, but the last two years has meant our familiar rituals at times of bereavement have been disrupted or even lost altogether. A HSE and Irish Hospice Foundation working group has collaborated on a new campaign to share stories and provide supports to people experiencing grief at this time. Dr Helen Coughlan, Irish Hospice Foundation, and Lived Experience Representative on the Bereavement Working Group, has taken the time to share how this period affected people’s grief: “Whether before or during the pandemic, everyone who has been bereaved holds a story, an experience and a grief that is uniquely theirs. All of us remember how our loved ones died. We turn to rituals to say goodbye and try to find a way to be in the world without them. The pandemic changed everything for so many people, like me, who had loved ones die over the past two years. Though our experiences are our own, there are threads of loss and pain that are woven through them all. “Some of us carry pain from times during the pandemic when services were restricted and those we loved suffered as they died or died alone. Most of us are in families where we didn’t see the person we loved for days or weeks before they died. Some had to draw straws to see if they could be one of the ten at the funeral. Many were deprived of the comfort of human touch. Though so many of us also experienced compassion and kindness from our communities, we are left with the legacy of all that we missed out on in our grief. We continue to live with the knowledge that our experiences and those of our loved ones cannot be changed. That we cannot reclaim the moments lost, when we were separated from the person we loved in their dying; when we needed to be held but were completely alone; or when we yearned to be with friends in our grief. “We may look like we’re doing ok, but so many of us continue to hold so much pain, trauma and grief, often silently. We hope for compassion from others. For people to say the names of those we love who died. For people to remember what we went through. To know that grief is something we all continue to hold, however long ago those we love died. And, to know that there are people and places we can turn to for support if we need it.”
New facility provides bereaved families a ‘sanctuary of care and privacy’
Dr Philip Dodd, Consultant Psychiatrist and Clinical Professor, is also a member of our Bereavement Working Group. “Healthcare workers have been particularly impacted during the pandemic. They have had to handle their own losses and grief, while at the same time tending to the needs of patients and colleagues during such a difficult period for our health services,” he said. “Healthcare workers may have been exposed to a lot more death during the pandemic than before and may have had to be with dying patients when their families could not. It is important to acknowledge this significant challenge, be gentle on yourself and recognise the impact this may have on you, and that you may be grieving.” In recent times, healthcare workers have called the National Bereavement Support Line, which is provided by Irish Hospice Foundation in collaboration with the HSE. On the death of their own parent, one healthcare caller recalled how, while they were “used to” dealing with grief in the workplace, “it's very different when it's personal to yourself and your own family”. This reminds us of the challenges we have faced in balancing personal grief needs, with those in our work roles and that, ultimately, each person’s grief is their own and how they experience it differs. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The HSE Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) has also noted an increase in people seeking support or information related to bereavement. The EAP continues to provide counselling and support to all HSE staff throughout the country and is available to people who are experiencing personal or professional challenges related to their loss or grief. To learn more about how grief affects you and your colleagues, or how you can support someone else: • Go to www.hse.ie/grief for advice, guidance and support services • Call the National Bereavement Support Line on 1800 80 70 77 (from 9am to 1pm Monday to Friday). For more information visit www.hospicefoundation.ie • Contact the HSE EAP Employee Assistance Programme (EAP). To access EAP support visit https://healthservice.hse.ie/staff/benefitsservices/benefits/counselling.html or call the National EAP phone line on 0818 327 327 to speak to someone who can help.
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