If he didn’t create them, then his brain is at the very least, full of a back catalogue that spans back as far as jokes that Tutankhamun heard from his dad!! Thankfully, he sent us some of his material (the clean ones) and his jokes are now throughout the magazines for all to see! (Along with a few of our own). Multiple times over many years, Paul has dragged me, unknowingly, into his joke set up, if he ever has a serious conversation, I simply won’t believe him!! Thanks PB, appreciate your help!
Anyway, long may this BBQ weather continue and where possible, tell some dad jokes, it doesn’t half put a smile on people’s faces!
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We ran the most fabulous competition in our April edition, with fantastic support from local companies and bumper entries from local residents. We wanted to share the pics of the happy winners to show that we didn’t just run off with the gifts ourselves (although we wanted to!!), how happy the winners were and also to remind you all...‘you’ve got to be in it to win it!!’
CHOCOLATE BASKET
FAMILY TICKET FOR 2 ADULTS & UP TO 3 CHILDREN
NAOMI & SON TOM
FAMILY TICKET FOR 2 ADULTS & UP TO 3 CHILDREN
FAMILY TICKET FOR 2 ADULTS & UP TO 2 CHILDREN
£20 VOUCHER (TO BE USED FOR ONSITE CAMPING/ EVENTS) ELLEN
A GRAZE BOARD & A GLASS OF FIZZ FOR 2 MANDY
THANK YOU
Just to let you know that we have been to the S42 Cafe for our prize. We were warmly welcomed, the staff were extremely pleasant and the food was not only delicious but plentiful (which is an understatement!).We enjoyed ourselves and will be recommending the Cafe to both friends and family. Thanks once again for the prize.
Mandy
Great service at a very affordable cost. We needed to replace our lounge carpet but were daunted by the prospect of having to move the suite, sideboard, bookcase and tv as they are too heavy for us and we have nowhere to move them to while the old carpet was removed and the new one fitted. Then I remembered seeing an advert in one of our local free magazines which said that T Nutt offered a service of removing the old carpet, moving furniture as necessary and fitting the new carpet before returning the furniture to its correct place - this seemed perfect for us so we paid them a visit. From our first visit to paying the bill on completion it was a real pleasure dealing with them. They have a good range of carpets, provide valuable advice based on their years of experience and arranged the supply and fitting on the date we requested. Their quote (a very competitive one) was a single price for everything with a promise of no added extras - they delivered to it. We were completely satisfied and would have no hesitation in recommending them.
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Slimming World Recipe
Bakewell Trifles
Method:
1. Get your oven warmed up to 180°C/fan 160°C/gas 4.
2. Put the eggs and sweetener in a bowl over a pan of boiling water and whisk with an electric hand whisk for 5 minutes or until the eggs have tripled in volume. Take the bowl off the heat and sieve the flour over the top. Using a metal spoon and a figure-of-eight motion, fold the flour and the almond extract into the mixture, then spoon it into a small non-stick loaf tin. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden, then leave to cool in the tin.
3. Halve the sponge lengthways and spread with the jam, then
These sweet treats are the perfect combo of two true classics.
Perfect for a Summer party!
cut the sponge into small cubes and arrange in 4 tall glasses. Divide the halved cherries between the glasses, too.
4. Make up the jelly with 300ml boiling water and put to one side until it’s cooled to room temperature, making sure it doesn’t start to set. Divide between the glasses, then chill for 1 hour or until completely set.
5. When the jelly has set, stir the quark through the custard, spoon the custard over the jelly and top with the yogurt. Add the cherries and evenly scatter over the almonds to serve.
Ingredients:
• 2 medium eggs
• 1 level tsp sweetener granules
• 2 level tbsp selfraising flour
• 1 tsp almond extract
• 1 level tbsp raspberry jam
• 10 fresh cherries, halved and stoned, plus 4 whole cherries to
decorate (or use raspberries)
• 11.5g sachet
Hartley’s sugarfree raspberry jelly crystals
• 4 tbsp plain quark
• 250g low-fat custard
• 160g pot fat-free no-added sugar cherry yogurt
• 10g flaked almonds, toasted, to decorate
AIR CONDITIONING INSTALLATION
Death Metal MEETS DIVINE
Norwegian Rockers Crash Killamarsh Church BioBlitz
Killamarsh’s historic St. Giles Church played host to an unexpected — and rather unlikely — set of visitors during its busy BioBlitz wildlife event recently.
As families scoured the churchyard hunting for bugs, birds and blooms, the peaceful scene was shaken up by the arrival of Once Awake — a hard-edged death metal band from Norway.
The rockers, known for their thunderous riffs and bone-crunching beats, dropped in completely unannounced and asked for a personal tour of the 12th-century church itself — much to the surprise of organisers.
Despite death metal’s notoriously fraught relationship with religion, the band were on their best behaviour as they admired the ancient architecture, learned about the church’s iconic bells (recently restored thanks to a £76,450 National Lottery Heritage Fund grant), and explored the site’s 800 years of history.
Project manager Richard Godley admitted it was one of the more surreal moments of the day.
“They came out of nowhere — we thought they were lost at first! But they were incredibly polite, really fascinated by the church, and keen to hear about the bell restoration and local heritage. You couldn’t have written it — one minute we’re logging ladybirds, the next we’ve got a death metal band wandering round asking thoughtful questions about medieval stonework.”
The band were later spotted posing for photos outside the church before heading off to their next gig, leaving organisers and visitors slightly bemused but thoroughly entertained.
The rest of the BioBlitz event went ahead without a hitch, attracting scores of volunteers and nature lovers keen to record the wildlife thriving in St. Giles’ churchyard — from early bird walks and moth trap reveals to bug hunts and plant surveys.
Richard Godley added: “The visit of Once Awake may not have been on the schedule, but it certainly gave the day a very unexpected heavy metal twist.”
The BioBlitz event was part of a wider two-year project funded by The National Lottery Heritage Fund which has already successfully restored the building’s iconic bells and is researching the 800year history of the church.
Once Awake – surprise heavy metal guests from Norway
(And
Why We Secretly Love Them!)
You know a dad joke when you hear one, and we all know someone who simply cannot resist telling them.
It’s the punchline you saw coming a mile off, delivered with complete seriousness, usually followed by that unmistakable smug smile and chuckle.
But where did dad jokes come from, and why do they have such staying power?
The roots of the dad joke probably go back centuries. Puns and wordplay have been part of language for as long as people have been talking. Ancient Roman playwrights like Plautus used puns in their comedies, and Shakespeare famously built entire scenes around groan-worthy jokes.
Puns like;
“Thine face is not worth sunburning.” from Henry V
“You are as a candle, the better burnt out.” from Henry IV Part 2
And a particular favourite of mine…
“I do desire we may be better strangers.” from As You Like It.
But the modern idea of the “dad joke”, silly, safe, and slightly embarrassing, started to form in the 20th century.
In Britain, the rise of television comedies in the ‘60s and 70s brought the lovable, slightly clueless dad character into homes everywhere. Programmes like The Likely Lads, On the Buses and Bless This House featured men whose humour was often rooted in puns, understatement, and awkwardness.
The stereotype of the well-meaning but corny and even embarrassing father figure began to take hold, and so did the jokes. The term “dad joke” itself, however, didn’t become common until much later. By the 1980s, articles and comedians started using the phrase to describe this very specific style of humour. The first recorded use of the term is apparently to be found in the USA in a 1987 Gettysburg Times column.
Why do dad jokes endure?
Psychologists suggest it’s because they are a safe, shared form of humour. They don’t rely on putting others down. Instead, everyone is invited to enjoy (and gently mock) the joke together. According to the British Psychological Society, “dad jokes,” often considered corny, actually help children handle embarrassment and social awkwardness, making them more confident and emotionally strong as they grow.
No one tells a dad joke for the applause.
You know it’s bad.
Your family (or audience) know it’s bad.
You tell it for the groans.
For the eyerolls.
For the teenager muttering “Oh no, not again” under their breath.
You tell it because it’s not about being the funniest person in the room, it’s about sharing a laugh with the people you care about and making the effort to connect, however awkwardly!
It’s a little reminder that laughter doesn’t have to be clever to bring people closer together.
Long live the dad JOKE!
MUSEUM WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE
Upon the death of his father in 1684 William Cavendish, MP for Derbyshire, became the 4th Earl of Devonshire. The Earl was on the ‘right’ side when he supported William of Orange to depose James II. Cavendish was rewarded for his loyalty to the new King and Queen, he was created 1st Duke of Devonshire. The new Duke spent time at his Chatsworth Estate, he built a new mansion and decorated it with wonderful painted ceilings and intricate wooden carvings.
In 1696 the Duke employed Monsieur Grillet, a French hydraulics engineer, to design a water feature for his garden. Grillet’s design formed the basis of the wonderful cascade we see today in the gardens at Chatsworth House. Later, a temple pavilion in Baroque style was designed to stand at the top of the cascade. It features stone carvings, spouts, fountains and even water jets, inside the temple, to surprise visitors. Water pours from statues holding urns and mouths of mythical creatures. Sometimes the temple itself becomes a fountain with water pouring down its dome.
Over the centuries the steps of the cascade have been made longer, wider and steeper. During his time as Head Gardener, Joseph Paxton supervised alterations to reposition the cascade and improve the flow of water. Each block of steps in the cascade are set at differing heights, with the distance between them varied meaning the sound of the water changes as it runs down the hill. Unfortunately, centuries of use have weakened the cascade and structural deterioration means the water will not flow for the foreseeable future. Chatsworth House Trust has undertaken a major restoration project to preserve and safeguard the cascade for future generations.
In 1844 it was proposed that Tsar Nicholas the first would visit the family. For the Tsar’s entertainment
Joseph Paxton was challenged to engineer a record breaking, gravity-fed fountain in the Canal Pond. A new 8-acre lake was created high on the hillside above the gardens, the Emperor Lake. A pipe, from the lake, drops water down over 122 metres (400 feet) to the fountain below. Trenches were cut through rock, all dug by hand, to achieve the correct gradient. The resulting water pressure enabled the newly named Emperor Fountain to reach the dizzy height of 90 metres (295 feet). Sadly, after all that work, the Tsar never managed to visit. Thankfully, we can visit today and enjoy the results of all that labour and, of course, the Emperor Fountain, which remained, for 160 years, the tallest gravity-fed fountain in the world.
Bakewell Old House Museum, like Chatsworth, has never been visited by a Tsar, but our lovely old building was there, sitting in Cunningham Place, while all those waterworks were going on just a few miles away. Chatsworth House is magnificent, big and bold. Our museum is tiny but crammed full of interesting things to see and to our eyes is just as wonderful.
Can’t promise Tsars, or water features, but we have lots to see and enjoy.
By Joyce Janes
BAKEWELL OLD HOUSE MUSEUM IS NOW OPEN EVERY DAY FROM 11AM TO 4PM FOR THE 2025 SEASON. ALONG WITH OUR OWN WONDERFUL COLLECTIONS WE HAVE EXHIBITIONS BY CHESTERFIELD EMBROIDERERS AND THE LEVEL CENTRE.
• Professional clean & maintenance of chimney & fireplaces
• Bird nest removal
• Installation of chimney bird guards
• Complete installation of log burners, stoves and fires
The Colonel’s Daughter by Rose Tremain feels like a book for people who like to read. That might sound a bit daft; but sometimes books can be about excitement or making you laugh or because you’re interested in a particular subject, or even because it’s the book that won the latest prize.
This book is a collection of short stories. And each is a separate world, from an elderly couple who try to break free of their boring middle class lives with a slightly ill-advised holiday in Florida to a young woman dealing in her own way with the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. The characters are strong, vibrant, sometimes unlikeable, but each tale has the capacity to perfectly describe people’s lives and the author is brilliant at creating voices and giving you a snapshot of life, which you know actually tells a much bigger story.
Rose Tremain is a great observer of human nature and can be really funny, sometimes in a way that makes you wince. Her writing could be described as slightly offbeat, but she has a brilliant imagination and gives a satisfying sense of completion to every story.
She writes beautifully, hence the attraction for those who enjoy the reading process. And if you like her style, there’s a whole catalogue of novels to go at – some of which have won prizes
BOOKREVIEW BOOKREVIEW
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All Around the Shire
MAKING DENS
During the school summer holidays, our days seemed endless and filled with adventure.
As children, we would roam about, finding woods in which to play and make dens.
Indoor dens were sheets, blankets or tablecloths draped over any permutation of furniture. A great escape from the reality of the home. This is where tea parties for teddies and dolls might be held, books read and imagination was king.
Outside dens would make use of a clothes horses (or a winter hedge as some called it) again with a covering. In good weather cushions would be allowed outside to furnish the tent. If the clothes line could be lowered, the sheet might be pegged over it. This was a child’s territory. No grownups necessary.
But the most adventurous dens were the ones in the woods. The venue had to be suitable: one with some shelter on the roof and sides and space for a small group of co-builders. Over time, the den would be enlarged and improved by
found bits of cardboard, metal or plastic. The very worst thing that could happen was for another group of children to find it, so secrecy and camouflage was the key.
Paul remembers making dens from disused air raid shelters, pill boxes and workmen’s huts. My memories are of woodland hideaways.
There is a special place in the hearts of children for spaces that are their own: places that are created by them and free from adult intervention.
Happy days.
Janet and Paul Barrass are All Around the Shire. Find us on or email: oldfield512@btinternet.com for more
Guess the words and Fill in the crossword !
1 Plead with Max to be not good, e.g. (3,7)
5 Voice only a rendering, all of a pace (1,7)
15 Fling hat away to window, over a door (8)
18 Terribly costly corn accelerators (10)
Pitcherwits® are crossword puzzles where some of the clues are in pictures.
Sound easy? It’s not called “Pit-your-wits” for nothing! The mixture of cryptic and picture clues, combined with Professor Rebus’ unique sense of humour, will keep you entertained for hours.
Across 9 Member of climbing club (4)
10 Jut-land - which is bit of a mouthful? (4)
11 Give final, painful cry (5)
12 They’re probably not (even for gamblers!) (4)
14 Little bit of ammunition found in half an ammonite (4) Down
3 I’m optimistic that it’s cleaner inside (3)
4 Feeling belittled by the electric one (3)
6 Living with a big din? That’s awful! (7)
7 Back-chat from a kisser? (3)
13 Such a noise at a boarding-school! (3)
16 Curvy part of the hierarchy? (3)
17 Chilled out, but unwell (3)
Reduced foiled fob attempt (6,3)
Makes possible pole of second son, say (7)
Down, under places described and painted so (9)
Wee rats, nibbling away at woolly one (7)
Litre, 9 Easel, 11 Ashen, 12 Last act, 13 Draw the line.
Inter,
On the inside, 5 Clausal, 6 Hatchet, 10 Liszt, 11 Awake.
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THE PEAK DISTRICT MANDARINS…..
I wrote previously about how exotic Mandarin Ducks, are spreading throughout the UK. Introduced to Britain from China and elsewhere in the Far East, escapees from captive populations established in the wild. There are now well-established and increasing feral populations, mainly in south-eastern England, but also in northern England, Wales, and more sparsely in Scotland. Colonisation is escapees from captivity in wildfowl collections followed by successful wild breeding. The main population is still in southern England but are widely dispersed pockets across the whole country, with birds from individual collections aggregating in their local patch. These gorgeous non-native ducks are mostly absent from the high ground of the Peak and Pennines and the low-lying areas of former fenland in east England, no doubt related to the scarcity of mature trees with suitable nest-holes.
generally nest in tree-holes sometimes located quite high up. Just a few days after hatching, female mandarins try to entice the youngsters to leave the nest site by leaping out and tumbling groundward. The female then leads the ducklings to a nearby waterbody where she will be rejoined by the male who then helps care for and protect the offspring. Apparently, the female will have done most of the work in incubating the eggs and consequently, suffers more stress and exhaustion and has relatively higher mortality rate with a population of only around 80% of the male birds. They also display remarkable behaviour called ‘intraspecific parasitism’ whereby females lay some eggs in the nests of other females. In some cases, up to 46% of clutches were parasitized. This means the workload for the females is shared and the risks from nest failure or predation are spread more widely between nest and broods. Spreading rapidly, in gardens close to rivers they will freely come to feed on bird-tables or on the ground.
These birds are amenable to life in park lakes and along riversides and are popular captive birds because of their remarkably spectacular plumage. Male mandarin ducks have elaborately, decorative plumage sporting distinctive orange feathers on the cheeks, purple chest, and large dorsal, orange feathers sticking up sail-like, and with pale, orangecoloured flanks. Females are duller with grey head and a distinctive white stripe behind the eye, a brown back and mottling on the lower sides. The males also have an amazing pink beak with a white tip.
Mandarins can be relatively shy birds, frequently hiding underneath overhanging tree branches along lakesides or riverbanks but gather in small flocks at favoured locations especially in winter. Unusual for waterfowl, these birds with long-term pair-bonds,
Professor Ian D. Rotherham, researcher, writer, broadcaster on wildlife and environmental issues in the Peak District and elsewhere, is contactable on ianonthewildside@ukeconet.org. Follow his website www.ukeconet.org, blog www.ianswalkonthewildside.wordpress.com/ & Twitter @IanThewildside Bluesky @ianthewildside.bsky.social
MANDARIN DISTRIBUTION MAP
MANDARIN DRAKE
MANDARIN PAIR
MANDARIN DRAKE
MANDARIN DRAKE
MANDARIN PAIR
GARDENERS CALENDAR
Dashing into June, the garden seems to be shouting for our attention. But amid the abundance of containers and bedding plants, roses and early fruit, there is still time to plant.
On the eating side you can plant fast croppers such as French runner beans, peas, sweetcorn and outside cucumbers and continue setting away an ongoing lettuce crop to take you through to the first frosts. Remember with courgettes and cucumbers to keep them well watered and share your tomato feed with them as well. They like a good bed of home-grown compost to retain as much water as possible.
If you have weeds – and who doesn’t – keep them under control as much as possible as they will leach nutrients from the soil and are almost always very strong growers so may crowd out your crops and flowers. This is the time for the Chelsea chop if you want to do it. The name comes from the Chelsea Flower Show and is usually done around the same time – end of May/ early June. The aim is to cut your perennials back by a third to a half. You can use secateurs or shears and the chop will do a number of things. First it will make the plant bushier and less likely to flop and get damaged in wind. Secondly it will produce more flowers, though they may be smaller. Thirdly it may extend the flowering season. Some people like to do it for those reasons. Others prefer the larger blooms and think the weather will determine the flowering season and are prepared to stake their plants. Also, they might not like cutting back just at the time plants are flowering. Purely a personal choice, but worth thinking about.
Don’t forget water for birds to drink and clean their feathers in. Clean feathers mean they can regulate their body temperature better. And log piles in a shady spot are good for frogs or other amphibians in the heat.
