Father to the Fatherless

By Doug Ford, DVM, Production Animal Consultation, & Greg Quakenbush, DVM, Geissler Corp.

Father’s Day, that special day set aside to recognize, celebrate, or remember the proverbial man of the house. I was blessed to have one of the most exceptional fathers ever. A humble, simple man: quiet, confident, grounded, with unshakable honor and core values. A man’s man who could fix about anything and I mean anything! My dad was a product of the Great Depression, a veteran of WW II and a country kid with an impeccable work ethic.

Born of humble roots, he knew the value of a dollar and loyalty were a hallmark of his core. Foremost, he was totally engaged and devoted to the protection and advancement of his family and friends. The foundation behind his protection and personal development plan was dedication, commitment, consistency, truth, honor, education, boundaries, and discipline.

In retrospect the two principles I cherish and remember the most were the regimented discipline and NO meant NO (consistency). I never realized effective constructive discipline could be so complex, diverse, and creative. In my early years, standing alone in the corner, no dessert, or a single swat to the seat of the pants was standard operating procedure. At some point in my adolescence there was a major shift in decorum. My pending sentencing morphed into either hardcore child labor, solitary confinement (grounding) for periods of a day or two up to life, and sometimes confiscating the keys to the family car. Discipline was always swift, consistent, and included one or all of the above strategies depending on the severity of my teenage rebellion.

I learned if you identified just how far to push matters, there were always tell-tale warnings of the impending doom, including, but not limited to, the “Don’t make me stop this car, young man” or the “Keep it up, buster, and I’m going to back hand you into the middle of next week.” Dad’s backhand was not as devastating as Marshall Matt Dillion’s but would certainly get your attention! Those two statements were always dependable signals that meant time to pump the brakes and consider the consequences.

With time my brother and I ultimately became masters of discernment in this adventurous cat and mouse game of how far to push our luck. Unfortunately, once in a while in a weak dare devil moment, we would push the wrong button, not knowing the wheels were about to come off right before our very eyes. Then came those dreaded words no child in his right mind ever wants to hear, “You boys just wait til’ your father gets home.” That “oh shoot” moment when you had stepped dangerously out of bounds into the quicksand of desperation. I do not know what was worse, a day of pondering our impending sentence or execution of the guilty verdict.

Looking back, I felt sorry for Dad, I am sure the last thing he wanted to do after an exhausting day was to come home and “beat the boys.” Eventually the beatings stopped, and a new strategy mutated into the “Do you know how disappointed your mother and I are in you boys?” This was the worst punishment ever, but it worked every time. Somehow the tears, shame, conviction and guilt of those hearings made us the men we are today. Personally, I was in favor of bringing back the “beatin’s.”

Today I look back with joy, humor, and fond memories of our priceless journey. It was all good and perfectly orchestrated for our personal path of development. Unfortunately, in today’s society divorce is an epidemic, and the lack of fatherhood and leadership are destroying our society and country. Mothers do not make good fathers and fathers do not make good mothers. We are living in a faithless age where personal feelings have become the moral compass and rudder guiding our world.

Obviously, the tactics my parents brought to the table would probably be unacceptable by today’s crazy spoiled standards. I am so proud and grateful that I had parents that certainly were not perfect but were totally committed to our continual success and prosperity. One of my biggest regrets is that I cannot tell them, one last time, how much I appreciated their consistent, constant honing and love.

The Old Testament commands us to honor our mothers and fathers, with the promise that “it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth” (Exodus 20:12). The future of our country and the security of our freedom is dependent on love and a moral foundation that flows beyond us. It is all rooted in God “Father to the Fatherless.” Biblical names for God, help us understand Him in more detail. EL SHADDAI (God Almighty), ADONAI (Lord), YAHWEH-JIREH (the Lord will provide), YAHWEH-RAPHA (the Lord who heals), YAHWEH-SHALOM (the Lord of peace).

The world needs a true leader, a leader who teaches through his perfect word, a leader who teaches discipline, self-control, forgiveness, and love tempered with grace. A Father who is not angry, abusive, or absent. A Father who is never early, never late, but always on time. A Father of wisdom, leadership, and instruction. A Father who heals broken hearts, shapes lives, and forever holds us close. A perfect Father. So, when I step over the line, I do not have to dread the words “Wait until your father gets home!” He is always home, changing my heart, lifting my head, and teaching me through his word. Heavenly Father, “Happy Father’s Day! and Thanks.”

Digging Deeper

The importance of a father in the development and future success of a child cannot be overstated. Statistics regarding the dismal future of children raised by indifferent fathers or abusive fathers and children from fatherless homes are overwhelming to ponder. The fallout and pain inflicted by the lack or absence of a father in the home can be extensive and likely irreversible. Violence, crime, incarceration, drug abuse, teenage pregnancy, suicide, poverty, and behavioral disorders are common outcomes for the children of not only absent fathers, but those we might classify as defective or flawed in one way or another.

In today’s society, responsible, consistent, moral and mature fathers grounded with foundational unshakable core values seem to be in short supply. The lack of commitment, discipline, accountability and respect on the part of many fathers has opened a flood gate of confusion regarding the importance or even the value of a father.

What is needed to help us with this father discussion is a measuring tool or list of standards by which to fairly evaluate. Not surprisingly, this master fatherhood resource and guidebook can be dependably found in the Bible.

Most everyone reading this has probably heard the term “Father God” or “Heavenly Father”. For those who frequently use these terms or speak to God in prayer addressing Him in this manner, we have Jesus to thank for this understanding. Throughout the New Testament and specifically in the four Gospels, Jesus consistently refers to God as his Father. “For prior to Jesus, no one — not in Judaism or in any other religious tradition spoke of God or to God as Father in the personal ways Jesus did."* There may have been a few Old Testament inferences to God as father, but Jesus showed us the reality and the way to having God as our authentic personal Father.

The reality of having the holy, all-powerful, ever-present, all-knowing God as a personal heavenly Father is difficult and nearly incomprehensible to grasp. Part of the difficulty in comprehending God as our “Father” lies simply in the mystery and vastness of God Himself. However, a closer to home limitation on understanding, appreciation and love of God comes from comparing experiences with our own earthly fathers and transferring them to the Heavenly Father. If you had an absent father, an abusive father, an authoritarian father, a passive father and so forth, it is easy or natural to pass this view and experience of fatherhood onto your relationship with God as a Father.

On the other hand, what if you had a great dad? Pastor John Piper makes the point that we should never limit our understanding of the fatherhood of God to the experience with our own father, no matter how good or how bad he was.

In Matthew 7:11 Jesus states; “So if you, despite being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him.” Note that one of the key points here from Jesus’ quote is that even the best fathers on earth are “evil”. The best fathers on earth are still sinners and fall way short, especially when compared to the one true Father.*

One way or another, everyone has a flawed earthly father. The “I had a bad father” excuse or blame for your own sinful behavior and unbelief in God only serves to keep you in a prison of your own making. Forever separated from the guidance, love, discipline, protection, approval, and joy that we all deeply desire and yet can only be fulfilled and experienced in a relationship with EL SHADDAI, also known to those who belong to Him as Heavenly Father.

1 Corinthians 8:6 (NASB) yet for us there is only one God, the Father, from whom are all things, and we exist for Him;

Psalm 68:5 (NLT) Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.

1 John 3:1-2 (NASB) See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are. For this reason the world does not know us: because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

Doug Ford, DVM is the owner of Beaver Creek Veterinary Clinic in Brush, Colorado. Doug earned his DVM degree from Colorado State University. Brush, Colorado has been his home since graduating from Colorado State. Doug’s practice has been remarkably diverse over 40 years of veterinary medicine. Dogs, cats, cow-calf, feedlot, two sale barns, and spaying thousands of heifers for grass. The last 20 years of practice has been 50% large western dairies and 50% beef cattle (spaying, cow-calf, and feedlots). In 2005, Doug was given the privilege to become one of the six founding members of PAC. Doug and his wife Jan ranch in their “spare” time. They are also heavily involved in a wetlands development project on the South Platte River near Snyder, Colorado. Doug’s dad used to say, “Get your grades up. Do you want to grow up to be a ditch digger?” Doug had no idea how much fun it would be to play in the dirt with dozers and track hoes. He feels truly blessed and believes that the best days are yet to come.

Greg Quakenbush, DVM is a 1978 graduate of Colorado State University and spent 16 years in large animal practice in Porterville, California. For 19 years, Dr. Q worked for Zoetis (Pfizer) and was Director of the US Cattle Technical Services team. Since 2013, Dr. Q has worked with the Geissler Corporation assisting in the development of new veterinary diagnostic technologies. Dr. Q enjoys Bible study, shooting sports, fly-fishing, and being a part-time farmer growing citrus and nuts in the central valley of California.

*https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/we-call-him-father