Artichoke Vol. 6 No. 6

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MARCH 2017 I VOL. 6 No. 6

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Mayeesha Chowdhury

Assistant Editor

Safa Gangat


Michael Petruzzelli Ori William Black Mackenzie Taylor Emma Ferreira Charles Manzo ChantaĂŠ Candize Kabeer Garba Christina Zisko Sana Ahmed Cole Kennedy Gerrod Harris

1 Art Director

Daniel Dohyun Kim


Mary Anne Cruz Emily Mcdonald Holden Kao Sarah Wong Justin Veneracion Madison Pflance Sarah Nwabuike Judy Gu Patrick Descartin Heena Chudasama Gurleen Hansi Elisabeth Yoon Larissa Ettlin Bri Coggans Samantha Hansel Cherry Law Nicole Hall Samneet Mann



With All My Heart


When The Adrenaline Kicks In



Kabeer Garba

Aaron Robertson




With This, It’s Not a Goodbye


Christina Bozios






Christina Zisko

Procrastination is My Friend






Imitating Creative


Kelly Estomo



You’ve Never Climbed a Mountain That’s a Woman


Maddie Banham



Dear Winters 3

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Hey Winters, I usually look at previous letters for structural (and sometimes creative) help when I am writing these letters, but I thought I’d let my words and emotion run wild on this one. (Please excuse the repeated use of terms such as: wonderful, spectacular, lovely- I can’t help it; you folks have just been the greatest bunch of all time) Three years ago, I happened to come across Emma Beckett at a book launch, chased her down and made her let me edit articles for the Artichoke. At that point, she wasn’t really looking for an assistant, and neither was council. After editing and working on two or three features, she let me take the reigns on the final issue. Somehow, amidst all that, I became the magazine’s Editor-in-Chief. Four years ago, when I was sitting in the dining hall as a froshie listening to the 2013 Council talk on and on about involvement in the community, I found myself panickingeveryone seemed so outgoing, colourful, and engaged. I truly felt that there would be no part of Winters I could make my own- being someone who- at that point- was a little less outgoing than who I am today. That was up until I came across the Artichoke, and after a year of chasing Emma down, I began to make the magazine my own. But most importantly, I began to make Winters my own. I have had the wonderful opportunity to work alongside four years worth of writers and designers throughout my time at the Artichoke. While the community does not necessarily get the opportunity to engage with the Artichoke team as a whole, I have tried my best to engage within the team, and get to know the wonderfully talented people behind producing what I would argue is the best publication on campus. (MacMedia/Janae, I love you, but my kids are the best). During my time here, I also worked alongside the other college-run newspapers on campus, an initiative taken by Suneel Mistry of Vandoo (Vanier), and later backed

by Rebecca Mangra (Stong), Janae Diaz (McLaughlin), Gabi Simovich (Bethune), and Veronica Rodinone (New College) to create an opportunity for cross-college engagement between the teams. Not only did I get to experience content from all across York, I also got to meet some of the smartest, most creative people at York- the editors. You guys are amazing, and a huge part of what made my first year as Editor as wonderful as it was. Winters College Council: I procrastinated so much on writing about my time with Council on here because I truly do not know where to start. I was scared shitless for my first council meeting, I knew I had a few classes with Addie (then president) here and there, but I really did not know anyone from Winters at that point. I had randomly arrived late at a meeting which was already underway (something that really set the precedence for my coming years in Council, ha!), and had zero idea about what was being discussed. Fast-forward to now- I have met some of my closest friends through Council, and because of Council I have had some of the most spectacular experiences of my undergrad life (Montreal, MONTREAL, MTL- are you getting this?). I really do not know how to begin thanking Council for letting me be a part of you for all these years, for letting me be both introverted, and dancing-on-tables crazy, and being there for me regardless. I remember contemplating whether or not I should walk into that council meeting all those years ago, little did I know that it would set the tone for almost all of my time here at York. I truly never thought Council would become such a huge part of my experience at York, and never thought I would be able to find my place at Winters. And now, here I am- sitting in the communications department and writing this and trying so hard to not get emotional as I do so. Winters College Council, thank you for everything that you do, and thank you for consistently being

who you are to one another. Thank you for teaching me everything I never thought I’d need to know about Robert’s rules, and how to run a council meeting. Through Addie, Taneisha, Angelica, and soon-to-be-now Sebastien, you folks have been meticulous, understanding, and so so so dedicated to helping our constituents find a home away from their homes. Thank you for supporting me, my team, and for supporting the magazine for all these years- thank you for everything really. My time at Winters would not have been the same without you, and neither would I. My Team: Karen Keung, You were a first-time magazine editor’s dream come true. You were a wonderful partner throughout my first year running the magazine, and you were always ready to pick up where I left off- a quality which I cannot thank you enough for. You coordinated the design team with grace and dedication which remains unmatched, and your ability to work independently made working with a spectacular experience. Thank you for setting the precedence for Artichoke’s future designers. Daniel Kim, You have been a great addition to the Artichoke team, and I am so glad I had the opportunity to work with you. Your ability to work with deadlines is mindblowing, and I cannot thank you enough for processing all my last-minute notes miraculously on time. Thank you for the time you gave to the magazine, and for coordinating your design team wonderfully. And to both of you- thank you for making Artichoke the best looking publication on campus. It’s true, more than half the compliments I get are about how welldesigned this magazine is. You and your teams are beyond talented, and I am so honoured to have had the opportunity to work with you.

Last, but most certainly not the least- Safa Gangat, Safa, thank you for being my human calendar and texting me at weird hours to check my e-mail. And mostly, thank you for letting me send you countless messages on Messenger so I could remind myself to do things. I don’t even know why that was effective, but it was. You’re the best Assistant Editor I could’ve asked for. I am so glad I found you, because I don’t know if this entire year (for both me and the magazine) would have been possible without you. Thank you for being wonderful, and wonderfully patient as I worked through my schedule, and a chaos of deadlines and editing notes throughout the past year. I keep going back to the idea that Artichoke and Winters have been a huge part of my time here at York, and this is a great example of why that is- I happened to come across one of the greatest people, and currently one of my closest friends because of all this. You are an extremely talented writer, a dedicated community member, and you will make a wonderful Editor. I wish you all the best, and I am confident you will do a superb job- I don’t even have to wish you good luck. To the future (Not to be confused with Future, the rapper): Best of luck to the incoming team of writers and designers, to new Council, to our new President Sebastien Lalonde, and to the current Council on finishing up the school year. The biggest of thank yous to the Winters community, and for being wonderfully unique, accepting, and a stark definition of the term community. With love (and now some seriously repressed tears), Mayeesha Cho



Hello fellow exam stressors, soon-to-be graduates, and miscellaneous, Your Ass. Editor here (Ha, I love doing that). As the semester finally comes to a close, so does the 2016-2017 Artichoke series! But of course that does not mean there is not going to be more, there is going to be so much more. The school year has been a whirlwind for everyone involved but I want to take this chance to thank our writers, design editors, and most of all, our Editor-in-Chief, Mayeesha Cho. She manages to juggle around four other groups that she is part of and still do an amazing job with this magazine, so I am going to take this time to thank her for relentless hard work in her last year as Editor, with her graduation a month away (but she’s graduating so who’s really losing here?). I promise I will do you proud...or try to. I have had a great time working with Winters College Council and the Artichoke, I would not have had my first time being part of council by any different. Albeit, I was 2 years late. I have only been part of WCC for 8 months and it might be cliche to say, but shit I really do not regret “getting involved”. With Mayeesha passing on her pride and joy to me for Editor-in-Chief of the Artichoke, I absolutely cannot wait to take the reins. And to think there was a time I was not sure I would want to do this but I will credit that push to Mayeesha for telling my commitment issues are unnecessary here. I wish all of you good luck for your exams, graduation, and everything in between. Yours Truly, Safa Gangat

Letter from the Editor

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Letter from Design Hi! I can’t believe this is the last issue of vol. 6! Time really flies huh. Although this was my first year of being an Art Director at Artichoke and I’ve struggled at times, I learned a lot from everyone and it was definitely an enjoyable experience. I would like to thank the editor team and the design team for their hard work, and Mayeesha for being a reliable Editor-In-Chief! This will also be my goodbye letter as it is my last year being a part of Artichoke. Thanks for the wonderful experience, and good luck to all. Rock on, Daniel Dohyun Kim


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C reative I have always known how to be a good boyfriend, how to tell a girl how pure her soul is, and how beautiful she is in eleven different ways, how to make her laugh when she needs it, when to leave little notes for her to find, when to give her some space, when to protect her and when to stand back because she can protect herself. I spent my whole life watching my father treat my mother like gold, watching relationships flourish in movies, and dreaming about the day that I could hold someone that close and have her look at me like nothing else mattered. Unfortunately I never learned how to be a good ex-boyfriend, I did not know the appropriate amount of time to wait before asking you something, or giving you your stuff back. I did not know how to treat you, should I hold back any feelings still there, if I want to get back together should I

try and try again, or do I just leave it? Should I ignore you, should I try to be your friend? I never really knew, I did not care to learn about that part because I never dreamed it to be, I never wanted it so I never prepared for it. I fucked up, I really did, I admit that, and I accept the consequences. All I want is for you to understand, understand that being the person in the wrong is not always the easy road, understand that I cannot choose my feelings, and that my young self did not know how to control them. I said a shitty thing, but you got to hate me for it, you got to apologize to your friends for ever dating me, you got closure, and you got the chance to get over me. I did not, two years later and I still think daily about how things could have gone different, how I could have acted to keep you as a friendly ally instead of driving you away. I said a shitty thing, I really did, and the only person I get to hate for it is me.


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C reative That moment when someone makes you shiver The way his eyes burn like a toxic river I still feel him grabbing me Coldness drawing me to my knees No! Stop! I don’t like it this way Who is he? Why does he feel the need to hurt me? He made my life go dark and cold When I felt his hands undo my clothes His hands moving slow and steady Why can’t I move? Stop! I’m not ready I want to scream But no, I can’t, this must just be a bad dream I close my eyes take a deep breath in

I choke, only water comes in No please! this can’t be real I can’t move, all I can do is feel and feel I feel his hands move down my body Stop Please Help, Somebody no one hears me My voice is gone I cannot yelp I push him off my body so I cannot stay here It’s time to go My voice has come back now So here I say I am a victim But today is a new day


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by: Evan J Hoskins

C reative

MARCH First clap of thunder. Hail! Not sleet or snow. Rocks tumble down from the stone Gates of Season shredded by an eager Summer. These are chunks of doors torn and flung by a Grendel. Only the monster Summer could make this mess, could crack this loud. It’s only March but it’s tempered electric, the earth is erupting, and the sky in teased with Sun’s sizzling switch. It is ready to pour a fire.

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C reative Life is so good at creating its own organic art, in the way water builds into waves, in the negative spaces of urban areas, in the hopeless tight grip on love that is so characteristically human, why do I even bother making my own? But god, I want to erupt at the seams with what I see! I’m teeming with thousands of versions of the sky at this very time the bend of my neck paints the gradient of a somber minor key, setting the tone for a real good cry, one i’ve practiced in weekly rehearsals, on stage, and in my bed I’m a talented imitator like the ocean mirrors the movement of the clouds when the spotlight hits it I can reflect all emptiness when it’s dark out and be swallowed by my own sea the conflict of reflecting and becoming is something worth swimming in but every beginner swimmer must learn to float first

I create with more than one acrylic; always blend never oil and water sometimes my blood escapes into the vessels of my work sometimes it grows too real touches me too deep sometimes I can’t look at my own hands between me and my expression are vital organs I cannot separate for the life of me but life can be so good at tearing through my origami skin let’s see how I can reiterate


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You’ve Never 15

Climbed a Mountain That is a Woman


The way you cower and grow timid When you see a glimpse of strength within me, Shows me that you’ve never climbed a mountain before. The way you go silent When I say exactly what’s on my mind, Shows me you’ve never heard a beautiful song, Or read through a book of poetry. The way you take your arms off my shoulders When I start to cry, Shows me you’ve never seen a map of the world before, And stared in awe at it’s many oceans. The way you turn and run When I get close to you, Shows me you’ve never held a rose before, Too scared to be pricked by it’s thorns. I took every rose from your garden, And you pricked me til’ I bled, But I still held on, Because I kept my eyes on the petals.


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When The Adrenaline Kicks In



When the adrenaline kicks in to tame a buffalo with your bare hands, reprimand any who say you can’t as your ride it into the sunset or just down sentinel rd. The inkling to spend an entire month alone. The want, whatever you may be doing, to just get up and leave. The unnatural urge to never sleep, After a great night of drinking with friends Staying up when the epiphany hits and you might have the spins But the adrenaline kicks in and you write anyways. That urge to jump off of really high places. That tiny thought when someone has a knife in their hand, They could kill me, they could take that knife and plunge the point into my abdomen releasing all my organs onto the floor in a pile of vital much that outside of the flesh doesn’t seem so vital anymore, But when the adrenaline kicks in you won’t let them, you’ll take the knife by the hilt, and turn it back so that its your attackers blood spilled, and theirs are the vitals that are vital no more. These thoughts cannot be ignored. That electricity running through your arm to your hand when you pick up a rock, To throw it, And though it’s, strange that rocks don’t conduct electricity, but there is enough in the vicinity of your

own limb to make you want to act out on a whim, When the adrenaline kicks in Ice is meant to be walked on Fences meant to be climbed, cut or kicked in, Paint needs to splash over the heavenly bodies that occupy this earthly plain, covering breasts, backsides, phalluses, and faces, a technicolour human being in the making, florescent paint, glowing and adorned These thoughts cannot be ignored. The desire to set fires as adrenaline kicks in when flame is at hand, the command of a bic lighter and gasoline on concrete or sand. The need to smash glass, skip class, smoke weed and chop down trees, and never to be forlorn making a tree house to house all these thoughts that cannot be ignored. To cut down dandelions with a stick and watch the seeds fly, to have the best sex of your life and afterward sit down and cry, beside the one you love/hate To love/hate To be on your own clock never care for the deadlines that others create and always be late and early at the same time, precisely when you mean to, take up gandalf’s sword and prepare to fight your fight, for these thoughts that cannot be ignored.

The not so subtle sight in one’s mind, of how good of a time it might be, jumping onto the stage during a scene at stratford theatre company, and doing whatever the hell you please, tossing pies, cartwheels, poetry, whatever it might be, as the adrenaline kicks in. The ease to which we have these whims, it floats and it swims through the depths of our conscious mind, but every now and then we can’t pretend that we don’t feel them ascend, leap out of the water like dolphins, sharks or piranha, it gets lit like rocks in a sauna, sizzling when that sweet sweet natural drug kicks in, the water from that ocean pores over those stones and suddenly my mind is stoned, and I don’t want to go home, because in this nirvana this sauna underneath the ocean is my fauna and the flora all around is glorious, bright colours on bright bodies, I feel victorious but there wasn’t anything that I won, unless that’s what I have become and still yet that’s something I don’t think I’ll ever get, there is no become only becoming, the journey doesn’t start goddam it only begins, as long as its in this crazy underwater sauna we swim, as the as the as the as the As the adrenaline kicks in.


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it’s a See You Down the Road This school year is coming to a much-needed end as I always say quite frankly and I am quite

failure. I reached a point of limbo when I was at my most recent job as I was feeling stagnant,

happy with that. There were a tremendous number of doors being closed, from aspects of myww

and a bit insecure with my position, however with an aggressive attention to detail to update

academic studies, career, relationships and personal development. With all the closure, I was

my LinkedIn, résumé, networking and countless hours of applications, interviews, and

questioning why all of this was happening at the same time, and a given, I found out why.

assessments; I landed one of my dream jobs at the age of 20. Prior to starting my new gig, I told

With my struggling academic year, I could evaluate what I was doing was doing wrong and work

everyone at my previous job that simply, “... It is not a goodbye, it is a see you down the road”,

on fixing things to make it right. It was not easy, but I was able to pick up. I got past the point of

and it is true. I finally cut off a toxic relationship, reevaluated some people I had in my social

L if estyle circle, and started to focus on me as my own. I opened doors that I could not imagine. As my university experience is coming to a rapid end, I have one year left and I am preparing to do a lot for my last. My last course selections, my last chance to go to a York football game (I Still have not gone to one), my last opportunity to stumble late into lecture with a half large half French vanilla and half dark roast coffee from Tim Hortons, to my last time joining various clubs, volunteering around campus and enjoying the little things that York has to offer. I love being at York. I love the people, I love the campuses and I love the course selection. And with this “see you down the road” idea, this is our last issue of our 2016-2017 year and it is really hitting me. I have enjoyed sharing my words even though I do not have a clue on who is reading this if anyone is. It has been a pleasure writing for Artichoke Mag and being able to read other young writers’ creative pieces. I wish everyone from our fellow writers to you, the readers, all the very best. See you another time.

With love, Chantaé Candize @StudioChantae


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L if estyle For me, these past four years of university have flown by. It feels like just yesterday that I walked onto campus for my first day of Frosh Week, so worried that I would get lost, or not make any friends. It took about 5 minutes to realize that this would not be the case. I was lucky enough to meet some amazing people during that week, and even more throughout my years at York. While I know that many of my peers cannot wait to throw their cap in the air at graduation, I find myself feeling a little more anxious. When you enter your first year of university, there is the security that you have at least four years to figure everything out. You can daydream or brainstorm about what the future may hold, but there is no real stress attached because time is on your side. Then you wake up one morning and realize you only have a month of school left, and your family asks you about your postgraduation plans every time they see you. Of course they mean well, but no, Family Member, I do not have a full-time job sorted out yet! Thank you for the link to that job application, I will take a look at it once I stop panicking about my life choices.

It comforts me to know I am not the only one who feels this way. I have talked to tons of people who share the same sentiment as I do. Basically, “What the hell am I going to do now?” or “I’m not ready to ‘adult’ yet!”. I don’t know if we are ever truly ready for a big life change. We just have to roll with the punches and see where life takes us. I think it’s important to remember that we all have different paths, and that is okay. There are some people graduating this year, some people who will not be graduating because they are studying abroad, some people who had a change of heart and transferred programs or institutions. If nothing else, I am letting that be a reminder to me that just because my plan may not be the same as theirs, does not mean that I am not exactly where I need to be right now. There are a lot of question marks in my life (and maybe yours, too) right now. What will I be doing a few months’ time? Will I decide to go to college? Will I get a job? Will I like said job? Do I have what it takes to be successful in my field? What if I can not get a job in my field at all? In my heart, I know that, in time, everything will fall into place. It is sort of half terrifying/half exciting

to not know what the future holds exactly. What I do know is that I have made some friends, and amazing memories in these last four years, and I will hold onto those forever. Meeting the sweetest girls at Frosh Week. Sitting beside a girl in my first sociology tutorial, unsure if I was being awkward, who would end up being one of my closest friends. All of the times we would sit in class, distracting each other with memes. The first time I got an A. The first (and last) time I ever bought books from the bookstore. Writing my first Artichoke article. And now, writing my last Artichoke article. I am thankful for all of these memories. I am thankful for all of the amazing people I have met. And I am thankful for you, dear reader, for letting me express myself the last couple of years. We have talked about (among other things) Tinder dates, Instagram, and studying, which are basically the three pillars of university life. And now it is time to move on to the next chapter. So, wish me luck! And thanks for listening.


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Do you remember that assignment that you did not do? Yep, my heart just dropped too, do not worry. Procrastination is a funny concept since we fear it everyday of our lives. Throughout high school we were told to never leave anything till the last minute. These constant reminders of procrastination becoming a black hole of failing classes and eventually dropping out becoming the ultimate failure of our families is the exact reason why we all have constant anxiety about our assignments. What if it was normal to just do an 8 page paper the night before a due date? Or start a painting 2 hours before the hand in time slot? I am here to tell you that it is okay. It is okay to procrastinate. First of all, education is important and you are paying to be here at York University. Keep that in mind, but do not let it rule

your life. In the grand scheme of life what is going to matter more, 15% of your grade or those priceless moments with friends at the Ab? Most of you logically would say the 15%, but if you really think about it, what brings your life joy? Making sure that your mental health is top priority is the most important part of university. This is where you learn how to become the person you want to be while balancing school, work, friends, significant others, parties, etc. Pretty much just life in general. Life is a intersectional puzzle that can be confusing, but if each piece is placed properly can be the most beautiful art work in the world. It is time to become adults… that is literally the scariest thing said to me at 17 years old as I entered my studies here at York. Early on in my education I decided to take life experience over an A in

my class. Do not get me wrong, I have a high GPA, but that is only because I made sure self care was part of my daily routine by training myself in the art of time management. Time management is the most important thing you could ever learn during your years here at York. With this skill you can do anything you want. Shoot for the stars and never let anything hold you back because if you can balance your life, you can live happily. So over load yourself, find your limits and discover what you actually want in life. Procrastination can be your friend on this winding road of bullshit. Apply for that job you want, join council, play sports, be in a play, go to the Ab, do your assignments and most importantly, LEARN HOW TO SELF CARE. Push yourself to places you never thought you could before. If you ever find yourself in a state of stress, ask yourself this, “in the grand scheme of life, will this matter?” If you say no, then do not stress. There is a whole world out there Winters and it’s waiting for you. Love, MadFish


Winters Free Press EST. 1967