Army&You – Winter 2022

Co-educational

state boarding & day school for students aged 11-18

The boarding school provides highly effective services that consistently exceed the standards of good. The actions of the school contribute to significantly improved outcomes and positive experiences for children & young people. OFSTED

The Wellington Academy, Tidworth, Wiltshire, SP11 9RR

T: 01264 405060

E: admin@twa.ascendlearningtrust.org.uk www.thewellingtonacademy.org.uk

BOARDING HANDBOOK 2021 - 2022

For Parents/Carers and Students

Visit our welcoming primary schools to meet our Leadership team & enjoy a guided tour of the facilities on offer.

Other features of our school include: Children’s University • School for the Curious Child Lovely outdoor environments, including Forest schools • Nursery facilities for 2-4 year olds.

Wellington Eagles

Primary Academy

Wellesley Road, Ludgershall, Andover SP11 9LT

T: 01264 316400

admin@wep.ascendlearningtrust.org.uk wellingtoneagles.org.uk

To make an appointment for a tour, contact the school directly by phone or email.

Wellington Lions

Primary Academy

Oatway Road, Tidworth, Wiltshire SP9 7FP

T: 01264 310780

admin@wlp.ascendlearningtrust.org.uk wellingtonlions.org.uk

For everyone with a soldier in their life

It doesn’t matter who makes up your army family, military life has its ups and downs. AFF is here to support every one of you, and through the pages of Army&You, tell your stories and share your experiences – good and bad.

In this edition’s feature, A modern way forward, reporter Jill Misson takes a look at your unique issues, how the MOD is shaping up to reflect today’s society and what will change in the future.

Serving mums who are breastfeeding have benefited from positive changes in recent times. Thanks to the work of the Defence Breastfeeding Network, there’s now access to peer support and private rooms in many military workplaces. Find out more on page 34.

We also shine the spotlight on military carers on pages 20 and 21, with a heartfelt account from two army dads who have loved ones with complex needs, and we follow one couple’s emotional journey through assisted conception on page 22.

Head of the Army, General Sir Patrick Sanders answers your questions on page 14, and there’s some news about allowances (page 19) and the new housing contracts too (page 16).

Jobs in the healthcare sector come into focus on page 24, where some of you talk about your rewarding careers helping the most vulnerable. We also feature British Forces Social Work Services

overseas, and explore how SSAFA’s community health team can support you on page 31.

Army spouse and artist Keziah Burt was the last person ever to officially create a sculpture of The Queen, there’s a fascinating account of how she did it on pages 28 and 29.

Don’t miss your chance to win some downtime on the waterways with a narrowboat break for four people worth £880!

Good luck and enjoy the issue.

LISA YOUD, EDITOR

EDITOR Lisa Youd editor@aff.org.uk // 01264 554004

CONTACT AFF ENQUIRIES TEAM 8am to 6pm Monday to Thursday 8am to 3pm Friday contact@aff.org.uk // 01264 554004

SPECIALISTS

EDUCATION & CHILDCARE educationsupport@aff.org.uk

EMPLOYMENT & TRAINING✪ employment@aff.org.uk

FOREIGN & COMMONWEALTH fcsupport@aff.org.uk

HEALTH & ADDITIONAL NEEDS✪ healthsupport@aff.org.uk HOUSING housingsupport@aff.org.uk

MONEY & ALLOWANCES✪ moneysupport@aff.org.uk

REGIONS

DEVOLVED NATIONS devolvedmgr@aff.org.uk

ENGLAND englandmgr@aff.org.uk

overseassupport@aff.org.uk

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PUBLISHER

Army&You is published quarterly by TylerBale Communications on behalf of the Army Families Federation. Editorial content © AFF. Not to be reproduced without permission

AFF

Army Families Federation is a charitable incorporated organisation registered in England and Wales with registered charity number 1176393 and a charity registered

in Scotland with registered charity number SC048282. Principal office: IDL 414, Floor 1, Zone 6, Ramillies Building, Marlborough Lines, Monxton Road, Andover SP11 8HJ

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Sovereign sculpture

I’D LIKE to thank everyone who took the time to complete our Your Army Life survey. We have had more than a thousand responses, and many of you provided detailed comments on your experiences of all aspects of life as an army family.

This evidence is incredibly important in the work that we do to inform and influence the army, Ministry of Defence and wider government about the issues that matter to you. Helping them to understand what you need to live the modern family life of your choice can make a real difference.

FOR ACCOMMODATION ANSWERS’

We saw lots of questions in your survey responses about the Defence Accommodation Strategy (announced in October), and the associated Future Accommodation Model.

While many of you welcome the extension of entitlement to housing for those in established long-term relationships (LTRE), you have lots of questions about how it will work in practice. You want to understand how Service Family Accommodation (SFA) will be allocated – particularly in locations where there is already a shortage of quarters.

There are concerns about how the rising cost of living could affect your family decisions about how and where you live in the future. Will you be able to move into the private rental sector or will the cost of rent in many areas of the UK

Missed the survey? You can still give us feedback at contact@aff.org.uk

prohibit this? Will rising interest rates mean that owning your home or moving to a different one has to be put on hold?

And for those of you who are currently overseas or know that you have an overseas posting coming up, there are questions about how this will work. Will there be a level playing field or will LTRE families lose their new-found entitlement if they are posted outside of the UK?

More details are needed for newly entitled families with additional needs, so they can understand, for example, how the adaptations process will work.

We are asking all of these questions on your behalf as we know how important it is to have the information you need to be able to plan – as much as you can!

‘LOOKING

“Will rising interest rates mean that owning your home or moving to a different one has to be put on hold?”

Alice Ludlow, Head of Boarding

It’s who we are.

#OnTheCase CHILDCARE CLARIFICATION

Through the MOD Wraparound Childcare scheme, launched in the summer, service personnel can claim up to 20 hours a week of before and after-school childcare during term time for children aged 4 to 11 (or up to age 17 for disabled children).

Since the launch, we have been helping you with the details of how the scheme works, including who is eligible, how to claim and what implications the scheme has for your wider finances, such as tax and benefits.

In response to your queries, we were able to reassure families that service personnel assigned overseas for less than 365 days, who leave their family in the UK, are eligible to apply to the scheme as long as they meet all the other criteria.

Go to aff.org.uk/advice/education-childcare where you can find the answers to many of your questions.

QUESTION? ASK AFF

The Ask AFF Roadshow visited Leuchars and Dreghorn in Scotland recently to answer your questions about army life.

The team included our Devolved Nations Manager, Regional Lead Scotland, Housing and Education & Childcare Specialists, plus one of our OISC-qualified F&C Advisors.

Our specialists spoke to families about the new Wraparound Childcare scheme, housing, support for removals, spousal employment, education and visa applications. During their time in Leuchars, two of the team also visited the Military Coworking Network hub, a comfy, open plan office available to the military community.

If you were unable to pop in, but would like to ask us a question, or highlight any concerns you may have, email us at contact@aff.org.uk

VISA APPLICATIONS ONLINE

Thanks to the Foreign & Commonwealth team’s work with a new IT contact at UK Visas and Immigration (UKVI), the old paper-based UK armed forces visa application form VAF (AF) has now been replaced with an online version. UKVI is also looking to create a separate page for armed forces families which would mirror the current information available for civilians. Search ‘VAF AF’ at gov.uk

#OnTheCase

DELIVERY DELAY

Louise contacted AFF frustrated that her belongings had taken so long to be delivered on the family’s return from a posting overseas. She said: “This is enough to put me off doing another overseas assignment. How do they expect families to live without white goods for months?"

We made some enquiries into Louise’s case and her delivery date was brought forward by three weeks.

Have you faced similar issues on moving back to the UK? Email overseassupport@aff.org.uk

EXAM SUCCESS

#AFFwin Beckie Hounsell from our Foreign & Commonwealth team, has recently passed her Level 1 Office of the Immigration Services Commissioner (OISC) exam. This means that she can now provide qualified immigration advice to F&C families. You can get in touch with the team at fcsupport@aff.org.uk or find useful information at aff.org.uk

#AFFteamwork

REPORT REFLECTS ISSUES NORTH OF THE BORDER

AFF gave evidence to the Scottish Affairs Committee at its inquiry Defence in Scotland: military personnel and estate. The resulting report acknowledges the important role that families play in supporting the army in Scotland.

Some of the key concerns that you have raised to AFF are reflected in the report recommendations, such as making sure you have the right information when you move to Scotland and the ability for spouses and partners to transfer their qualifications across the border.

As part of the Government’s response to the report, the MOD will work with the General Teaching Council Scotland to review and update their guide for transferring teaching qualifications.

#AFFwin

STUDY DAY DATE

AFF has received funding from Aspire for another Additional Needs and Disability Study Day for professionals and policy makers working in the MOD, chain of command, external agencies and organisations, and charities.

The event, at Tidworth Garrison Theatre on 23 March, will be an opportunity to develop a better understanding of the issues that army families experience and to learn more about the support available. For more information, contact Karen Ross – additionalneeds@aff.org.uk

F&C TEAM ON THE ROAD

Our Foreign & Commonwealth team recently spoke at the 10 Queen’s Own Gurkha Logistic Regiment study day, discussing recent changes to immigration rules and the work being done at MOD level looking at the issues facing non-UK service personnel and their families.

They also gave an immigration briefing at St Omer Barracks in Aldershot for soldiers, families, chain of command and support organisations. It featured all aspects of the immigration journey from entry requirements to citizenship, including visas on discharge.

If you would like our qualified immigration advisors to deliver a briefing, email fcsupport@aff.org.uk

#AFFreports

FAMILIES' VOICES ARE HEARD

The AFF Impact Report 2021/22 focuses on the voices of army families to show the impact our work has had. Using case studies, we outline the positive change that has been made to their lives through our work as a charity.

Our highlights include:

l pushing for better processes for dealing with damp and mould in quarters, resulting in a dedicated hotline being introduced;

l exploring families’ views of overseas assignments through our Understanding Overseas survey;

l collaborating with other organisations such as the NHS to launch the Duty & Care report, providing recommendations to improve health outcomes for military families;

l supporting Foreign & Commonwealth families with immigration and visa issues;

l helping families struggling to claim Universal Credit while overseas. Find out more at aff.org.uk

CHILDCARE CHALLENGES #AFFinvestigates

We received a great response to our recent school holiday childcare survey, which provided a wealth of detail on your experiences and the challenges you face. These include frequent moves, shortnotice changes to leave plans and long periods of separation. These are compounded by the significant cost of full-time childcare, often minimal support from family who are far away and the variation of settings available from location to location.

Many of you felt that having a variety of holiday clubs, open to the full age range of school children, as well as for pre-schoolers, is a significant factor in being able to maintain a career for the non-serving partner.

#AFFteamwork

DOWNLOAD

NEWSY SNIPPETS ABOUT ARMY FAMILY LIFE

Send your pic to A&Y – editor@aff.org.uk or PM on social media @armyandyou

While producing this edition of Army&You, we came across these photo gems from our military community…

Private Addy Carter, 21, of 16 Medical Regiment – the first female soldier to pass All Arms Pre Parachute Selection, known as P Company. Pte Carter, 21, follows in the footprints of Captain Rosie Wild, of 7th Parachute Regiment, Royal Horse Artillery, who was the first female officer to pass the course in 2020.

and Keeley admire Phil Thompson’s medals. Phil is manager of Avondale House in the Byker area of Newcastle, one of three houses provided by the charity Launchpad, which offers vital support and accommodation for veterans. Launchpad staff visited the school to talk to Year 6 pupils about the importance of Remembrance Day in November –@AFV_Launchpad

#militaryspousephotochallenge: “I’m 19 years old and I have been a military wife for one year and three months. My connection to the military is my husband (21), who has

been part of the army for five years. We have a son named Arthur, he is 13 months old and a springer spaniel named Bella who is four.” – @aleagibbs, Instagram

#militaryspousephotochallenge: “In our current posting Ronnie has several best friends that he has regular play dates with, a lot of them are slowly moving on now, which is tough on him as he doesn’t understand yet. Soon it will be our turn to move on… hopefully he will make some more friends at the next posting!”

– @plantsandquarters, Instagram

Byker Primary School pupils Angelo, Yasmine

PHOTO FAVES

Picture: MOD Crown copyright 2022

Picture: Helen Smith Photography

DOWNTIME

Last edition’s best blogger, Laura Grace, told us how much gardening helps improve her wellbeing, so we asked on social how you keep on top of your stress levels…

What’s your favourite way to escape army life?

Grow stuff – 11%

Make stuff – 48%

Play stuff – 22%

Cook stuff – 19%

What’s your favourite way to relax?

Reading a book – 24%

A walk in the woods – 38%

Watching a film – 14%

A hot bath – 24%

…and your preferred comfort treat? Chocolate! Head to @armyandyou on Instagram for more polls, quizzes and ways to get involved.

CELEBRATE FORCES FAMILIES

Have you got your tickets to the Celebrating Forces Families awards ceremony yet? It’s at the Victory Services Club in London on 28 April and promises to be a brilliant night celebrating the amazing achievements of our community. Look out for a special performance from a young choir with lots of talent! Get your tickets at celebratingforcesfamilies.co.uk. If you can’t make it, you’ll be able to join in from home by watching the live stream.

FOR THOSE IN NEED

Are you struggling to pay your energy bills? The Royal British Legion is offering topup grants of up to £200 a month to eligible armed forces households. The charity has recently seen an increase in the number of families seeking help, and launched its Cost of Living Grants Programme in October for those most in need, who are struggling to meet the cost of everyday essentials, clothes, and energy. You can apply at rbl.org.uk/costofliving or call 0808 802 8080.

TUNE IN TO FLEXIBLE WORKING

Is your soldier considering flexible working options? Have a listen to the Flexible Working in the Armed Forces podcast series, created by the MOD and BFBS. The series explores the flexible working experiences of service personnel; along with the opportunities, impacts and culture that surround it. In episode one, Maj Amanda Willcox-Jones (pictured) shares her experience of part-time working in the army and subject matter expert, William Lyn, takes you through all the flexible working opportunities available – radio.bfbs.com/podcasts/flexibleworking

NETWORK NOMINATION

The Military Coworking Network has been shortlisted for a Great British Workplace Wellbeing Series Award for the Best Support for Remote Workers. If you haven’t already heard, the MCN supports military spouses and partners by giving them somewhere accessible they can work or study that’s designed around their needs. Its coworking hubs give members the space to create independent, professional lives alongside military life. The awards highlight organisations who are working to positively impact the mental health of their members. The Best Support for Remote Workers category shines a light on those who create a sense of belonging, inclusion and support for people who work remotely. Look out for the finals this March via freshbusinessthinking.com

CIVVY HOUSING OPTIONS

Army policy AGAI 81 Part 8, available on the Defence Intranet, is a great place to find advice and guidance on the support available, and the process to follow, if someone in your family has additional needs, disability and/or SEND. It’s mandatory for army personnel to register their family’s additional and supportability needs with their chain of command and career managers, so that they’re aware of any extra support you may need, particularly on posting. You should complete Annex L to Chapter 81 – Career Management Notification Proforma and give a copy to your career manager or welfare team. For more info, contact AFF Health & Additional Needs Specialist Karen Ross at healthsupport@aff.org.uk

The services provided by the Joint Service Housing Advice Office (JSHAO) have now been transferred to Veterans UK’s Defence Transition Services (DTS) team. So what does this mean for army families? From now on, if you need information and support on your civilian housing options, you should contact DTS, who will work with you on a one-to-one basis to fully understand your needs, and co-ordinate access to information. DTS will also:

l Deliver virtual briefings about housing options;

l Respond to enquiries about civilian housing;

l Work with other organisations such as local authorities, housing associations, charities and Defence Infrastructure Organisation (DIO) on civilian housing matters. Head to gov.uk for info or email DBSVets-DTS-Central@mod.gov.uk

NEW CONNECTIONS

Forces Children Scotland has launched a holistic support service, Mindful Connections, to help young people and their families make a successful move to civilian life across central Scotland. The service will work with families to forge relationships and meet education, learning and employment support needs. In addition, it will deliver social, sporting and creative events so that you can successfully integrate into your new civilian community. More at forceschildrenscotland.org.uk/projects/mindful-connections

A MODERN WAY FORWARD

IN 2019 the MOD commissioned an independent review into the diverse needs of service families, which was welcomed by AFF. Chief Executive Collette Musgrave says: “We need to recognise that families may be unmarried, live unaccompanied or in their own home, may be a same-sex couple, dual-serving or single serving parents and therefore their needs and challenges may be different. It’s essential that decision makers ensure that current policies and procedures are fit for purpose and support the modern family.”

Some recommendations from the Living In Our Shoes report are now coming into force, and the MOD is also looking at eligibility and entitlement, the future of housing and service terms and conditions. However, Collette remains cautious: “Whilst we welcome the reviews, our concern is that there are a number of them happening at once, which could lead to conflicting decisions and priorities.”

Family life

While it’s good to see policy catching up with today’s society, it may still take a while for changes in attitude to bed in. One blended family with five children told us that they felt their two eldest from the spouse’s previous relationship weren’t recognised by the

chain of command ‘even in an emergency situation’. “It all seems to depend on who is in charge at the time rather than a universal approach,” explains the spouse. “This was the main reason my husband transferred to a different regiment. He was told that his family was ‘a burden on his career’.”

The future of housing

In the Defence Accommodation Strategy, launched in October, Defence Secretary Ben Wallace states: “We are committed to ensuring that all our people have access to good quality accommodation, in line with modern living standards, and support that meets their varied needs, health and wellbeing.”

Accommodation entitlement in future will be based primarily on need, and not

seniority of rank. Couples in established long-term relationships (LTRE) will have the same access to quarters in the UK as married couples or those in civil partnerships. LTRE entitlement won’t extend to overseas postings for the time being, so families will need to review their situation depending on where they’re going.

Head Personnel Policy, Brigadier Phil Bassingham-Searle, says: “We recognised that people want and need to have more choice over where, how and with whom they live and aim to support this. We should also recognise that the army’s role to protect the UK means we are different from society and as a result, there are going to be some constraints on where and how we live.”

Changes to come

Serving parents who are not the primary carers of their children can struggle to get support. One soldier contacted A&Y to express his frustration at having been placed on a long waiting list for surplus SFA. He wrote: “My child no longer lives with me so I’m pretty much a weekend dad now. I was told my only option was to use a welfare house or hotel, or to rent a civilian house which I can’t afford on my wage. Something needs to change for parents like me.”

This issue has been addressed under the

Society has changed and it’s no surprise that army families have too. So are MOD policies keeping pace with how we want to live and work today? Jill Misson reports…

“We recognised that people want and need to have more choice over where, how and with whom they live and aim to support this.” – Brig Bassingham-Searle

Future Accommodation Model pilot, with parents whose children are resident with them for over 80 nights per calendar year entitled to accommodation support. Policy is still being developed, however AFF is hopeful that this important improvement will be included in the new accommodation policy and will provide updates as soon as information is available.

Another issue, particularly with blended families, is travel costs for visiting children, particularly if you’re based overseas. Katie Hillary says: “We are in Cyprus and our three kids live with their mum in the UK. The problem is being able to afford the flights. When we are posted back to the UK we will be four or five hours drive away from them so we are worried about the cost of fuel.”

Katie McCaffrey lives in a quarter with her serving husband, their young twins and her teenage daughters from a previous relationship. She feels that more thought should go into postings for blended families: “Either my daughter doesn’t see her dad because they move us hundreds of miles away or they expect me to take a welfare move away from my husband with him staying in the block and our sons growing up without him around.”

Help on the job front

There has been a shift towards more spouses working to bring in a second

income. Brig Phil says: “Initiatives such as Wraparound Childcare and Flexible Service are good examples of how Defence is adapting to reflect modern ways of living. On an individual basis, flexible working arrangements can be made to accommodate things like the school run.

“We are currently looking at childcare to understand what we might be able to do to improve beyond what is already provided, and we will continue to work closely with AFF to understand the concerns of families and gaps in provision.”

Dual-serving couples can now transfer leave between each other to reduce childcare frictions. There is more detail on the Discover My Benefits website about hybrid working, shared parental leave, extended paternity leave, compassionate leave and additional annual leave allowance.

Modernising careers

Programme CASTLE was set up to modernise army career management structures. The team tells us: “We are currently in the process of developing new digital tools to make career management more efficient and put more information into the hands of your soldier. We are also designing it to help with communication between your soldier and their career manager, so that they can tell the army what really matters to them. Your soldier currently has access to the Career Management Portal on Defence Gateway where they can

search for jobs by location.”

It can be hard to keep up when you are counting on your soldier to relay the messages. Collette adds: “Families find this really frustrating. They want to hear direct from decision makers about things that affect their lives. They also want information that is clear, understandable, and accessible to them, which is where AFF can help - we can translate and explain official information for families to understand.”

Brig Phil acknowledges the problem: “It is always possible to do better. Sometimes we are not able to communicate as clearly as we might wish. Whilst initiatives are being developed and have not yet been fully agreed, it’s not always possible to convey the detail of how they might affect families. We really appreciate what AFF does to communicate with families.”

AFF’s Your Army Life survey, which ran throughout November, asked how you feel about the support, services and allowances designed to reward the soldier for their service and compensate for the impact of army life on your family. Look out for the findings at aff.org.uk, coming soon.

Katie Hillary and family

Katie McCaffrey with her twins

Talking to the top

As an independent charity, AFF exists to represent your views and present your evidence to the chain of command and decision makers, to help improve your quality of life as an army family. In the last edition we asked for your questions to put directly to the Chief of the General Staff, Gen Sir Patrick Sanders. Thank you to those who got in touch, here’s what he had to say…

I’m a non-UK family and can’t get my children to the UK due to the minimum income requirement. Can the army help financially support me? – Rai*

I recognise that this is a barrier to accompanied service for some families. The Home Office sets the minimum income requirement to ensure that those migrating to the UK can achieve financial independence; while the MOD does have some exemptions from policy, such as the immigration health surcharge, the minimum income requirement is sadly not currently one of them. I know that Defence is working closely with the Home Office to review how we can better support you.

Will the pay, allowances and other support packages address the inconveniences of army life, particularly spousal employment? – Debbie* Service life places unique strains on our

people and their families – something that I have felt acutely during my 37 years in uniform. To compensate, the army provides a range of allowances and subsidies depending on a soldier’s individual circumstances. Our pay and pensions are also supplemented by the X-Factor to compensate for the routine turbulence, with targeted support available for areas such as commuting, Disturbance Expense and Wraparound Childcare (WAC).

To help with spousal employment, our soldiers now have the ability to work flexibly where commitments allow and initiatives such as co-working hubs have my full support. My sense is that there is more we can do in this area and Director Personnel and his team are developing options to help our families manage their professional careers – both military and civilian.

If, as you stated in your article in the

autumn edition of Army&You, “the wellbeing and happiness of service families is fundamental to the health of the army as a whole”, how can families be better supported by their welfare teams? – Nicola

This is an area that I take a real interest in – especially having seen the power of unit welfare teams during my time in command. The support that can now be delivered in unit is first class. The facilities and expertise that welfare teams have access to today have improved significantly since my time at regimental duty in the early 2000s.

Commanding officers remain ultimately responsible for the delivery of welfare support to their soldiers and families. If you feel the support you are receiving is falling below the standard you expect then please engage with them, through the chain of command, so they can guide their welfare staff in addressing specific challenges.

Picture: MOD Crown copyright 2022

It’s clear that the new housing contracts are failing to deliver, leaving families feeling frustrated and let down. What is the army doing to hold these companies to account? – Kate*

This is a topic that I’m tracking closely – not least as someone who is about to move into Service Family Accommodation that is serviced by the Future Defence Infrastructure Services (FDIS) contracts. The Defence Infrastructure Organisation’s Chief Executive recently wrote to me to admit that the contract is not providing the service we were promised and to apologise for the impact this is having on our people. I have engaged personally with him and other Defence leaders to ensure that they understand the full effect that these failings are having on our soldiers and to ensure that we hold the contractors to account.

Now that rank-based entitlement for army housing is coming to an end, how will the impact on officers’ families, particularly those who are highly mobile, be addressed? – Connie Our guiding principle is that accommodation requirements for our people will be met on the basis of what they need. This change is driven not only by a sense of fairness, but also to ensure that the MOD remains compliant with HMRC rules.

Regardless of whether the serving family members are officers or soldiers, we will continue to provide subsidised accommodation. We still require large parts

of our army to be highly mobile and I’m keen to ensure that the Future Accommodation Model has sufficient flexibility to offer choice, that suits our people’s needs and reflects, where possible, how they want to live.

How will you ensure that families who live in their own homes or off the patch will be well supported when their soldier is deployed? – Lisa

I’m committed to supporting the families of all our people regardless of where they choose to live and Army HQ has established a project team to look specifically at how our welfare teams deliver ‘off patch’ support. I’m

determined that the great welfare support now available at unit level adapts as society, and the needs of our people, evolves further into the 21st century.

The Wraparound Childcare scheme doesn’t support families who have a parent in full-time study, even when the study requires work placements as part of the course (e.g. doctor, nurse, midwife). Should WAC be extended to support these families? – Stuart WAC is a great initiative, but I recognise it does not address all the challenges our soldiers face with childcare. The Chief of Defence People’s team continues to work on how it may be improved in the future so we can support more of our personnel, including those you suggest. More broadly, I have also asked Army HQ staff to better understand the childcare challenges our people are facing and look at what we could do to alleviate some of them.

What do you think of CGS’s answers? Join the conversation on social at @ArmyandYou or follow the link in the QR code to give us your feedback.

A great question. While I’m unable to predict the future – and the events of the last 18 months, including our withdrawal from Afghanistan, have shown just how risky any form of prediction is in our tumultuous world, I have been clear that the purpose of the British Army is to protect the nation by being ready to fight and win wars on land. If we judge that regular deployment rotations are required to allow us to meet that need, we will look at them.

I am very clear that whatever the posture is we adopt, it must be matched by first-class support for the families of those deployed. There were many lessons from Iraq and Afghanistan around how we supported those who remained at home – we would be foolish to forget them.

Are we likely to see regular rotations of deployments in the future like we did a decade ago in Afghanistan/Iraq? – Marie

Picture: MOD Crown copyright 2022

*Names changed on request

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT

AT THE time of writing we are more than six months into the new repairs and maintenance contracts for Service Family Accommodation (SFA) and disappointingly, we know that you have not received the level of service you had expected to see.

Here at AFF, we’ve seen a large increase in housing issues. These range from dirty quarters at move-in, missed appointments, lack of response to complaints and compensation claims, lack of communication from the suppliers and often lengthy wait times to speak to someone on the phone.

AFF’s housing team has been trying to help as many families as possible who, having followed the correct process, are still experiencing issues. We gather all information and use it as evidence when presenting at meetings with the contractors, Defence Infrastructure Organisation and the chain of command to show that there are significant failings and concerns.

Development stages

When the contracts were being developed, AFF was involved in the process to help ensure

that the ‘families first’ concept was taken forward. “Whilst the contract itself is, we believe, a solid foundation, the execution has not been what families deserve,” says AFF’s Housing Specialist, Cat Calder. "We know that DIO and the three contractors are working very hard to get the contract working as it should be, but families need to see an improved service.”

DIO received rectification plans from the suppliers in early October to be overseen at board level. It also increased its

assurance work and attended up to 50 per cent of all move related appointments towards the end of the year. “DIO stressed that they expected to see a rapid improvement in service,” adds Cat, “so we hope that this is indeed the case by the time this edition reaches families.”

Pushing for progress

DIO Head of Regional Delivery Accommodation, James Savage, admits that performance over the first six months fell well short of the standard families should expect: “Having spent

many years living in SFA myself, I know the impact it has and that’s why the rectification plans are so important. The contracts set significantly higher standards than their predecessors and I remain determined that we should accept nothing less. I’m pleased that some progress has now been made but our focus will remain on sustaining that improvement and pushing for performance beyond the minimum acceptable level.”

Now that the six-month honeymoon period is over, the financial incentives and penalties in the contracts have also come into force.

Cat concludes: “With the rectification plans in place and a coherent path, for both suppliers and DIO, hopefully things will start moving in the right direction and you will begin to see improvements in the overall service. Our housing team will continue to raise all your concerns at relevant meetings and will support you to resolve your ongoing issues.”

Please ensure that you follow the correct process at pinnacleservicefamilies. co.uk – and you can contact our specialist housing team at housingsupport@aff.org.uk.

HOUSING PILOT BEGINS FINAL APPROACH

AS the Future Accommodation Model

(FAM) pilot reaches its final months, we spoke to the Defence Accommodation Policy team to find out what you need to consider going forward…

“The way people live and work is changing and the MOD’s accommodation offer should reflect this,” the team told us, “Defence recognises it’s crucial to provide accommodation that works for a modern whole force, their partners, and families.”

The FAM pilot has been running for three years, aiming to give thousands of service personnel the opportunity to have more choice over how, where and with whom they live. Single parent Mark, who benefited as his two sons live with him for more than 80 nights a year, says: “FAM has been life-

changing for Jack, Joe and I. This is the first time there is an option for single parents who only get their children part of the time. To offer all those service personnel and children on the pilot a stable home is outstanding.”

The team encourages those of you who are at, or considering, the three pilot site locations: HMNB Clyde, Aldershot Garrison and RAF Wittering, with a report for duty date up until 31 March, to make sure you find out what you are eligible for as applications will continue to be accepted.

Due to the limited time frame, those of you who have benefited from the offer should check if you have ‘preserved rights’ and what the end of the pilot will look like directly with your FAM Cell.

The accommodation offer to everyone who

is not on FAM will continue as normal through to 31 October this year. Using feedback and findings from the pilot, work is now underway on how best to deliver a wider accommodation offer.

Over the course of the next year, the FAM team will be giving you more details about what these changes will look like through regular articles, chain of command updates, social media (facebook.com/UKMODFAM and Twitter @UKMODFAM) and on the Defence Accommodation Policy page at gov.uk

In the meantime, for Aldershot Garrison contact people-famcell-ald@mod.gov.uk or if you have any questions about the changes to accommodation, email people-accom-asc@ mod.gov.uk

HIKE IN HOUSEHOLD HARDSHIP

AS THE cost of living continues to rise, more of you are coming to AFF with your concerns.

AFF’s Policy & Research Director Michelle Alston explains what AFF has been doing with some of the common questions you have been asking…

Has AFF seen an increase in enquiries recently about the cost of living?

Yes, and you’ve reported a range of issues, such as the cost of moving overseas, the difficulties of only having one income, issues getting the MOD Wraparound Childcare scheme approved or not being eligible, and struggling to maintain spousal employment as a result.

What are the unique issues that are affecting families?

The rising cost of living is affecting the whole population, so AFF is keen to understand those issues that are due to the nature of service life.

We’re aware of families experiencing difficulties transferring utility contracts when posted, resulting in direct debit costs increasing on moving to a new quarter. Whilst any civilian family moving would also have the same issue, we are concerned about the impact of frequent moves on army families.

We are also seeing families contact us about living in quarters that are poorly insulated or maintained. Some families have reported that there are no thermostats on their radiators, increasing costs. We also know that old, inefficient or poorly maintained boilers use more fuel and there are concerns about the impact on their energy bills whilst they await a repair.

Families are also raising

the broader impacts. These include their need to rely on paid childcare, as they don’t live near wider family and their soldier not being able to help. Also, the lack of access to NHS dental care often means army families having to seek private treatment or travel back to their old dentist, with travel affected by rising fuel costs.

How is AFF raising these issues and with whom?

In many of our regular meetings with the chain of command, both within the army and MOD, the cost of living is at the top of their agenda, and we’ve also been asked to provide evidence by different HQs and present at meetings considering these issues.

Is there any good news to

share as a result of AFF’s work?

Yes, travel allowances and commuting were reviewed and Home to Duty and Get You Home Travel were increased by 7 per cent from August to reflect rising fuel costs. Guidance was also released so that many families could access the council tax rebate.

What else would AFF like to see done?

We are talking to the chain of command about what small but effective changes commanders can make. For example, for PT to start slightly later so that service personnel don’t have to pay for breakfast club at nursery. We’d also like to see personnel and families provided with clear information about what

financial support they may be entitled to.

How can families make sure they’re getting all the allowances and support they’re entitled to?

Check the government benefit calculators at gov.uk so that you and your family are claiming all that you’re able to.

Discover My Benefits is another good tool. It doesn’t just detail MOD allowances but flexible working and Flexible Service, which may help you return to work or increase your hours.

For the latest information, see aff.org.uk

How do families feed in? We always welcome your feedback – email moneysupport@aff.org.uk

Common law considerations

IF YOU’RE an unmarried army family and you’ve registered your relationship on JPA, you’re currently eligible to apply to live in surplus quarters where they’re available, but entitlement to army allowances has not been widened in the same way.

Allowances entitlements are based on the Personal Status Category (PStat Cat) of the serving person, which is why those in long-term relationships may be able to claim some and not others. For example, this could mean being unable to claim removals when moving on assignment or being unable to access the army over-37 package.

AFF has heard from many of you in long-term relationships who have raised issues with current allowance policy, including dual serving couples who have been unable to claim travel allowances.

Splitting up

Separation can also lead to difficulties when in a long-term relationship. Whilst policy allows a partner the same 93-day period as a husband or

WHAT’S YOUR STATUS?

A serving person who is married or in a registered civil partnership.

Serving couples.

A serving parent whose child lives with them full-time.

A serving person not in PStat Cat 1 or 2 who provides financial support for their current or former spouse or civil partner, or any dependent child, by voluntary agreement.

Serving person not in PStat Cat 1 or 2 who provides financial support for their current or former spouse or civil partner, or any dependent child, under an order made by a court or Child Maintenance Service arrangement.

All serving personnel who do not fall into the above categories.

wife to stay in Service Family Accommodation (SFA) while they find somewhere to live, they would not be able to claim removals.

However, couples in longterm relationships may claim some allowances when moving, like Disturbance Expense or help towards the cost of van hire.

Future Accommodation Model pilot areas also offer more support for those in long-term relationships, so it’s important to check with your Unit HR admin team on individual allowances.

What is AFF doing?

We have fed in your views and issues with allowance policy for those in long-term relationships with the MOD to help get clearer guidance for families. If you would like to air your views on this, contact moneysupport@aff.org.uk

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

The MOD is reviewing entitlement and eligibility for the modern army family to understand how it can create policies that are more inclusive and supportive. AFF is feeding in your evidence to ensure your voice is heard. We’ll

Lt Col Brian (Edd) Gordon is the Army Carers Advocate – responsible for raising awareness of the issues within the army for those service personnel with caring responsibilities, advocating respect, fair treatment, equality of opportunity, and fostering good relations in an inclusive workplace.

A carer is anyone, including children and adults, who looks after a family member, partner or friend who cannot cope without support because of an illness, frailty, disability, mental health problem or an addiction. The care is unpaid.

“I’ve been in the army for 30 years and for over 20 of these, my wife and I have been carers for our mentally and physically disabled son, Harry,” explains Edd. “Everyone’s needs are different, and I have linked with both the Parents’ Network and the Disability Networks to try and ensure everyone’s voice can be heard.”

The issues

Moving home with a member of the family with additional needs brings added challenges. “Adapting a home, moving healthcare, social care, all have policies or processes to support the mobility of military families. What they don’t have however, is the reality of people, resources, opinions, and availability fixed to the solutions. In our recent move from Wiltshire to Fife in Scotland the legal differences and devolved administration policies also played a huge

part in this challenge,” adds Edd.

“As Harry is over 18, and has no mental capacity, deputyship was in place in England for my wife Jo and I to make decisions on his behalf. In Scotland this is not recognised, and guardianship is required, which meant new legal proceedings,” explains Edd. “The assessments were stated as having a threeyear backlog. With a two-year posting and being unable to put any care in place without this, some barriers needed to be challenged.”

On making the move, Edd was frustrated by the way the allocation and adaptation of the quarter was handled and also felt there was a lack of understanding and misinterpretation of policy and processes by the local authorities. “They spent more time telling us not to come, rather than to look at options to support Harry. Now, after six months of being in Fife, health and social care have gone some way to supporting him. This has been a painful and isolating time for the family with Harry’s care being provided primarily by Jo.”

Working together

As the Army Carers Advocate, Edd believes

Sources of support

l

l

l

that a team approach is the best way forward to help effect change. He works with AFF, families, the chain of command and other organisations.

He explains: “I can highlight and support initiatives that address perceived barriers and related issues, and help to influence key decision making.

“In my role, I also support the chain of command in navigating policies, and help external agencies understand the realities of service life.”

Edd is keen to hear your feedback and experiences. “To help me help you, I need to understand the scope of the issues you are facing.

“If you identify as an unpaid carer, please complete the short survey by scanning the QR code. This feedback will help me shape future policy challenges and help invest in the correct support for you.”

l

There are a several carers’ organisations that provide specific support to the armed forces community, whether you are still serving, a family member, a young carer, a veteran or a reservist, here are some examples...

l Suffolk: Click ‘Armed forces’ under the We Support tab at suffolkfamilycarers.org

l Surrey: Click ‘Armed forces carers’ under the Who we help tab at actionforcarers.org.uk

l Norfolk: Click ‘Support for armed forces carers’ under the Our Work tab at carersmatternorfolk.org.uk

“Adapting a home, moving healthcare, social care, all have policies or processes to support the mobility of military families. What they don’t have however, is the reality of people, resources, opinions, and availability fixed to the solutions.”

CARING FOR CARERS

CONVERSATIONS around the experiences of carers in the service community are gathering momentum, with some charities and agencies putting greater focus on carers’ needs, the support they receive and the impact of military life.

Karen Ross, AFF Health & Additional Needs Specialist, is often contacted by families with a family member who has additional needs and/or disability and often they don’t identify themselves as a carer. It can be helpful to acknowledge that you’re either a parent carer or a carer as there is support available.

WO1 (ASM) Ian Hewitt is a parent carer for his daughter Bronwyn, who has congenital hydrocephalus, Global Development Delay, coeliac disease, is nonverbal and has many other associated conditions. Ian explained that

although Bronwyn is mobile, her cognitive level can be an issue, especially with her hazard perception, however Ian and his wife Deborah encourage her to do as much as possible because they want to support her independence. Bronwyn also has a younger sister.

They spent 12 years in Germany where both their daughters were born. They were aware of the hydrocephalus prior to Bronwyn’s birth and informed Ian’s chain of command immediately who were extremely supportive. As her medical care was ongoing in Germany when he was selected for promotion, he was given another posting there to allow that care to continue.

Bronwyn attended a nursery who provided excellent support while Deborah returned to work. Ian then spoke with his chain of command about

returning to the UK where more specialised support could be provided. They looked for suitable education provision and housing before their move, identifying Salisbury as the area that would give Bronwyn the most stability.

The support from Ian’s chain of command continued in the UK. “I was able to discuss my next roles and assignments,” says Ian. “I was also able to deploy with the knowledge my family had a suitable support network in place.”

Ian says the hardest part has been retaining their quarter, as it’s only been allowed on a surplus basis.

Deborah claims Carer’s Allowance and has now found part-time work in a school –they receive Disability Living Allowance for Bronwyn. The one area they struggle with is trying

to get after-school clubs and respite care.

One excellent resource they’ve accessed in Wiltshire is swimming lessons for Bronwyn and the couple say the care given by Salisbury District Hospital is superb.

Bronwyn attends Exeter House School, where Ian is now chair of the board of governors. “I wanted to give something back as she is receiving excellent support there.

“Around 15 per cent of the children at Exeter House are service children, so I thought I could be a good point of contact and do as much as I can.”

FERTILITY FRAGILITY

FOR some couples, the journey to parenthood can be long and stressful, and for others, it might not happen at all. If you’re an army family considering or undertaking fertility treatment, there is support out there. Here, Maddy & Nick tell us their story…

Nick and I wanted to grow our family in early 2018. With military-style planning, we started trying ahead of our wedding, hoping for a honeymoon baby and a family of three by Christmas. Spoiler, things did not go to plan. I still think back to how naive I was when we first started. No one ever really speaks about infertility, assisted conception or pregnancy loss. It’s such a taboo.

Something we know about, but we think it only happens to other people.

I had struggled with painful periods since I was 15. I took the pill to reduce the worst of my symptoms but came off it a few months before we started trying. My old symptoms quickly returned: excruciating pain, blacking out, fatigue, bloating, and nausea. After six months, we still weren’t pregnant, and started to consider that something might be wrong. At the time we were based in Essex, where my GP advised that we needed to try naturally for two years before we qualified for investigation.

Waiting game

This period was incredibly difficult for

me. I did all the research I could, ate a Mediterranean diet, followed the advice, had acupuncture and did yoga.

Trying to conceive became a second job, with all my free time thrown into searching for answers. Well-meaning friends and family pulled out cliché phrases (if you’ve been trying for a while, you know them); “just relax”, “try going on holiday”, “when you stop trying, it will just happen”.

As we approached the two-year point, we relocated to Hampshire and my new GP suggested I may have endometriosis. It’s then that things moved fast.

By January 2020 I’d had a laparoscopy, diagnosing me with severe endometriosis and we were advised to start IVF as soon as possible.

The ‘postcode lottery’ entitles you to anywhere between zero and three rounds of IVF, so we were relieved to find out that as a military family we would qualify for the full three rounds, and were thankful for the quick and easy approval of our application.

Starting the process

We began IVF in May 2020 convinced that we would end up with our miracle baby. Everyone was so positive, and we heard so many stories of success that it came as a shock when our first embryo didn’t take. Eager to avoid the grief, we jumped straight into two more transfers back-to-back.

Our third failed days before Christmas

“No one ever really speaks about infertility, assisted conception or pregnancy loss. It’s such a taboo. Something we know about, but we think it only happens to other people.”

Picture: Nick Walker

2020 and we both knew we needed to take a break for our mental health.

After a year reflecting, we decided to transfer our final embryo and then call it a day. At this point we had been trying for four years and were exhausted. Nick was due to go to Somalia for nine months and we found out we were pregnant three days before he left. Typically, 30 per cent of IVF transfers result in a baby being born. Sadly, we were among the 70 per cent that don’t. We suffered a missed miscarriage, and I was very unwell for several months following our loss. It was then that Nick and I knew it was time for us to stop trying.

Life changing

Assisted conception really is a roller coaster. Our own experience has changed so much in our lives. It’s made our marriage stronger and forced us to learn a lot about ourselves. Our friendships have changed, with some friends and family shying away from our loss. However, it’s brought some amazing people into our lives and I’m so grateful for those that held space for our grief. The nurses, the friends, the work colleagues, and the online communities. The childless community is often hidden away but I found huge support with Jody Day’s Gateway Women –gateway-women.com – and her book Living the Life Unexpected

I joined the Defence Fertility Network and Defence Child Bereavement Network which have offered me a safe space to share my experiences. My due date is coming up shortly, and in acknowledgement of our loss the Defence Child Bereavement Network have sent us a care package. It really makes a difference.

Looking to the future

This month, I begin my PhD on women’s experiences of infertility and endometriosis, with the hope to inform future policy, something I would never have started had it not been for my own experiences.

And for those of you that like a happy ending, thanks to the military, we still qualify for two further rounds of IVF over the next five years so we’re not ruling out trying again in the future.

Assisted conception: need to know

For more information on whether you’re eligible for NHS-funded IVF treatment in England, Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland, visit the assisted conception section of our health webpage as treatment does vary around the UK – aff.org.uk

You should also be aware of the Defence Instruction Notices (DIN) Assisted Conception Services and Fertility Preservation – 2021DIN01-020, available

on the Defence Intranet. This policy gives guidance if you want to remain in one location when undergoing treatment, information about assisted conception overseas and details about fertility preservation.

In her article, Maddy describes how important it is for couples who are childless, not through their own choice, to receive support and to have a safe place to share their experiences. If this is something you would be interested in, contact me at additionalneeds@aff.org.uk

You’re not alone

The Defence Fertility Network is now an official Defence support group, giving armed forces families who are undergoing fertility treatment a way to connect with others.

Network spokesman Maj John O’Neill found that more support was needed whilst going through fertility treatment with his wife. He said: “Fertility issues impact some 3.5 million people in the UK. It can be an all-consuming and often lonely journey to take, with the reality that success is not guaranteed.

“The network exists to let all couples know that they aren’t alone and that peer support and guidance is available.”

It’s primarily a private Facebook group, which is rank-free and independent of the chain of command. You can find more info at Defence Connect or email army-persdf-network@mod.gov.uk

Karen Ross, AFF’s Health & Additional Needs Specialist, explains the support that’s available for service families…

HONING IN ON HEALTHCARE

HAVE you ever thought about a job in the healthcare sector? There are a huge range of opportunities from administrative and management roles to frontline surgeons, nurses, therapists, doctors, laboratory technicians and domestic support.

If you’re passionate about helping people at their most vulnerable and making a difference, working in healthcare can be a rewarding career choice.

As member of the forces family, you have skills that are not only transferable, but are also highly sought after. You’re resilient, adaptable and flexible; you probably have great communication and problem-solving skills and know all about being a team player.

What are the advantages?

l It’s mobile – there are healthcare facilities across the country so you may be able to transfer on posting.

l In many roles, there is plenty of

opportunity for you to work flexible shifts, day or night, to balance your career with the challenges of being a military family.

l Roles are available at every educational level, and you can find apprenticeships, retraining and return-to-work programmes.

What are the challenges?

l You’ll need to factor in whether you can complete a training course within the length of your posting, and have a contingency in case things change!

l You may need to undertake work placements at unusual hours, such as night shifts. If you need childcare this can be costly, and at the moment, it’s not covered by the MOD Wraparound Childcare scheme.

l If there are no vacancies at your grade in your new location, UK or overseas, you may end up taking a lower paid role.

l If you’re posted overseas, bear in mind that you may have to come back to the UK occasionally at your own expense to keep up

your professional development.

Getting you ready

Step into Health offers support to members of the armed forces community to access employment with its pledged NHS organisations across England and Wales. It applies to partners and working age children too, even if you’re separated or have experienced bereavement. Programme Lead Voirrey Walsh says: “Critical thinking, logistics planning, time management; all skills the NHS recognises you have, and they need in their workforce! With more than 350 roles available, the majority non-clinical, there is likely to be something to suit you –registering with Step into Health could be the first stage in your NHS journey. Our candidate system allows members of the armed forces community to connect with people in NHS organisations who can discuss employment opportunities or how to access insight days to learn more.”

CORRIDOR OF CAREER CHOICES

IN response to the impact the pandemic had on employment, the Forces Employment Charity introduced the EM3 Armed Forces Veterans and Families Programme, to help make employment more accessible. The programme, available in the M3 corridor area, works with TechVets, X-Forces Enterprise, University of Winchester, Building Heroes, schools and employers, to give veterans, spouses/partners and young people aged 16-24 practical support, accredited training, mentoring and work experience.

Supporting young people

EM3 is here to help you decide which career is best for you. The team includes an education and skills liaison and a young person’s caseworker, who will help you upskill and gain employment in areas you might not have previously considered, such as gaming.

Training and events

You can take advantage of one-toone holistic support that’s tailored

to your needs, such as identification of transferable skills, CV writing, job applications and interviews, plus training courses such as:

l Microsoft Office Skills

l Self-employment discovery

l Cyber skills training

l Positive Pathways into Higher Education workshops

Joanne McLeod, EM3 Programme Manager says: “As a parent of a service

child it’s really exciting to be working on the first programme to be supporting young people from service families with their career choices. The support offered can be truly life-changing.”

The initiative was created by Enterprise M3 LEP (EM3) and part-funded by the European Social Fund with the Department for Work and Pensions.

Go to forcesemployment.org.uk/EM3 for more info.

Search for healthcare roles at forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk

Joanne McLeod, EM3 Veterans & Families Programme Manager, and Nick Barnett, EM3 Veterans & Young Persons Caseworker

VIEWS FROM THE CLINICAL COALFACE

Maxine Fitzpatrick

“I trained as a nurse in London in 2014 and since then I’ve never stopped developing my skills and knowledge. I’ve been a nurse through my time as a forces family member. I find my career very fulfilling, yet physically and mentally challenging. Within nursing there are a variety of roles that have different working hours, we have utilised this perk to always complement my husband’s shifts in the military, allowing us to make the most of our family time. There is always a great demand for nurses in the sector which has been a great help when relocating, I’ve never struggled to find my feet in a fantastic role in healthcare.”

CBT therapist (former paediatric nurse, health visitor and Children & Adolescent Mental Health Services clinician)

“I was given the opportunity to study for a postgraduate diploma in Evidence Based Psychological Therapy. I was aware this would be a huge challenge, as my husband was in Iraq at the time, and we were midway through the pandemic. But it was a unique opportunity to attend the course virtually, with online lectures and remote supervision, so I could juggle family life with academic work and practical placement. I can now work remotely and hope to become self-employed, which would provide me with further stability and independence.

I’ve been able to develop my skills in an area I’m passionate about and keep supporting my husband and young children with whatever challenge the army presents us next.”

Rachael Neale

Training to be a social worker

“I started my social work journey with an access course in social science and was then accepted into university close to where my husband’s next posting was, this was for four years. Well, so we thought. I’m now in my final year of my degree, married unaccompanied because things never go quite to plan.

“It’s been a bumpy road with finding and paying for childcare, after all, we work for free on placement.

“During my first placement I worked within the Early Help team, it was such an eye-opener and highlighted the abundance of job roles available on completion of my degree within different agencies and teams, not just social work.

“Wherever I am in the country, I’m sure there will be a job to suit and being able to work from home on occasion also helps with deployments and childcare.”

Rennie

Undergoing return to practice training

“Having previously studied to be a nurse before children, I decided to return to education in 2021 to study BSc Adult Nursing at the University of Hull.

“This is a three-year full-time course. The time felt right as my children are teenagers and I don’t need to rely on childcare when my husband is deployed.

“I’m now in my second year and all is going well. The most challenging thing is the uncertainty of whether I’ll be able to finish my course here, will I need to move due to postings or will I have to move into private rented accommodation? I feel that it will all be worth it once I’m qualified.

“If I have any advice for other spouses, it would be to simply go for it!

“Getting back into education is exciting, scary and fun all rolled into one!”

Laura Grace Cardiac specialist nurse

Kate

We meet military spouses who are finding their happy in the healthcare sector…

GOLD STANDARD

WHAT sets Forces Families Jobs apart from other employment sites? Well, every single employer and training provider that’s registered has signed the Armed Forces Covenant, meaning they’ve made a commitment to be forces family friendly.

You’ll see that many companies have also achieved Employer Recognition Scheme (ERS) awards, stamped on their FFJ profiles, which shows that they take positive action to support the military community in their workforce. Natalie Haynes (pictured right), from Defence Relationship Management, explains: “The ERS encourages employers that have signed the Armed Forces Covenant (AFC) to support defence and inspire others to do the

same. The scheme encompasses Bronze, Silver and Gold awards for employer organisations that pledge, demonstrate or advocate support to the armed forces community, and align their values with the AFC. There are eligibility criteria for each level.”

So how do Gold award winners help military families when they’re looking for employment? Natalie says: “Any company that’s been awarded Gold has demonstrated that they use FFJ to recruit members of forces families.

Many Gold ERS holders also have supportive HR practices such as armed forces networks, recruitment insight days for the military, or guaranteed interview schemes.”

The AFC represents a promise by the nation that those who serve or have served, and their families, are treated fairly. Find out more at armedforcescovenant.gov.uk

POINTING THE RIGHT WAY

Compass Group UK & Ireland has introduced a new policy to support employees who are service spouses.

The food and support services firm has committed to:

l Providing an additional day of paid leave to support pre- or postdeployments of three months or longer.

l Endeavouring to redeploy military spouses to an alternative role internally on notification of a posting. This has previously been done ad hoc but will now be required across the UK business.

l Recognise and celebrate military spouses on its annual Spouses’ Day through different events.

Army wife Sarah Tott (pictured) has been with Compass for five years. She says: “When I heard about the policy I thought it was amazing. I’ve already benefitted from the company’s support in redeploying spouses to alternative roles on postings, so it’s great this is now being formalised.”

Camilla Howard, chair of the company’s Armed Forces committee, adds: “There are so many spouses in

our business who will benefit from the extra time given to them to be with their loved ones either pre- or postdeployment.

“As an RAF veteran and an army spouse myself, I know the challenges that come with being a military family and juggling your own career. This policy should help provide reassurance to colleagues that they’re able to have open discussions about new postings, so we are able to keep employees within the Compass family.” compass-group.co.uk

forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk

BANK ON SUPPORT

BARCLAYS has been recognised as a Gold ERS award holder on multiple occasions. Paula Molyneux, Barclays AFTER Programme Manager, says: “We have worked with the military community for more than 12 years and to have our contribution recognised, specifically for our work with military spouses and partners, means a lot.”

Through its Military and Veterans Outreach programmes, Barclays helps service leavers, veterans, military spouses and partners to improve their employability skills and find the right job.

“We have committed to formally recognising military spouses as a stand-alone Diversity & Inclusion cohort,” adds Paula.

“Anyone applying for a position at Barclays can now self-identify on our HR system as a veteran or military spouse/partner – or both.”

Abigail Nightingale – Client Service Executive: Military spouse Abigail discovered that Barclays could offer her the support she needed to build an exciting new career. “I saw an advert for the Barclays Military Spousal Programme – and that’s when my life changed. I discovered that Barclays not only help military spouses find meaningful jobs, they actively encourage us to apply for roles with the bank.”

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Sovereign sculpture

WHEN army spouse and artist Keziah Burt was commissioned to create a sculpture of Her Majesty The Queen for the National Army Museum last year, little did she know how poignant it would become. Her finished work will be unveiled in February. We caught up with Keziah to find out more…

What’s your army connection?

My husband is in the Royal Engineers, we met before he joined up, so it’s been over a decade of service family life. We had our little girl Imogen in Germany and our son Sullivan back in the UK at Hermitage. I honestly love being part of the military community. You know wherever you end up you’ll meet lovely, welcoming people. You get an extended military family with each new house which fills the gap you have when moving away.

How did you become an artist?

I was making arty mess before I could walk or talk, so inevitably I trained as an art teacher.

I did a sculpture degree and masters, then teacher training, with the aim that it would be easier to work around being a parent. I’ve only been a full-time artist since September – it’s tricky to juggle with all the moving.

At school, undiagnosed dyslexia and dyscalculia had me convinced I was a bit thick – it was the eighties. Turned out I wasn’t, I just learned in a different way. I love the freedom of creating. There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing

something I’ve made with love is treasured in my clients’ homes.

How have you managed to juggle your career

alongside army life?

My lovely neighbours and friends have shared their skills, photography, proofreading, media strategy, accounting, even modelling so I could develop my skills.

Figurative sculpture wasn’t taught at art school in the early noughties, so I made a point to study with the best in the business. I have massively relied on the support of my incredible husband Will to take on all the parenting responsibilities when I go away – just as I have when he goes. His wonderful mum Sue and my own lovely mum Nicki are always ready to lend a hand with childcare even though they both live several hours away. Getting subsidised childcare at our posting at Wyton made a huge difference. You can directly correlate my career taking off with my kids both being at school.

I had created a ceramic portrait of the first female General, Susan Ridge, which the NAM purchased in 2020. The day I delivered it, the then head curator Emma Maudsley was talking about the Platinum Jubilee celebrations and the seed was sown for a special artist’s residency during which I would sculpt The Queen’s portrait.

Tell us a little bit about the sculpting process?

I took a week of unpaid leave from my school for the residency

How did the NAM commission to sculpt The Queen come about?

and sculpted every day in front of the public. It was very intense but something I loved because I used my teaching and sculpting skills to create the work right in front of them.

The museum was keen to have The Queen depicted as her 19-year-old self in her Auxiliary Territorial Service uniform. We took original insignia to the foundry and cast them directly to ensure the level of detail was perfect. I had special instruction on uniform detail from the head curator Julian so that the jacket, shirt, tie, and hat, as well as the likeness were all accurate to the period. The sculpt itself took several weeks after the residency to fully complete, before being sent to the foundry for the casting stages to create it in bronze. I start every portrait by building the clay to create a penny-like profile from the side. Then gradually building up the volume of the face and features – the hat was one of the last things to be added.

did feel special having Will’s ‘boss’ in my studio (dining room) for several months. Will’s commission with her signature is in our bedroom, so for us as a family it was a huge honour to have been chosen. We have always said to the kids, as a way to explain another posting, that The Queen needs Daddy somewhere else, so it was a really big deal for them too.

How did it feel when you finished the work?

It was such a surreal week. The official unveiling was meant to be at the museum on 16th September. The day The Queen passed, I was five minutes’ walk from Buckingham Palace at my exhibition in a Mayfair gallery live sculpting for visitors. Will called to say the Royals were all going to Balmoral. I’d spent that morning demonstrating my portrait technique by sculpting the then Prince of Wales. Having sculpted his mother, I thought it might be fun to try sculpting Prince Charles. Little did I know that by the end of the

day he would be King. It was a very serendipitous and poignant moment, toasting her late Majesty and the new King with his portrait right beside me.

Your family and military friends must feel very proud of you, what sort of reaction have you had?

It has been amazing, but it doesn’t feel like just my success. I honestly couldn’t have done it without the faith, kindness and support of so many military families I have met along the way. I would just like to say a huge thank you to everyone who came to watch me working, shouted me out, shared with their friends.

It feels like a win for all of us, those who have had to sacrifice our career dreams, or put them on hold to follow the people we love and support their service. It feels much bigger than just me.

What are your plans for the future?

I’m booked up with private commissions until spring which is more than I could have hoped for! The long-term dream is a familiar one to lots of us – to buy a home for the family (with a studio space that isn’t the dining room) where we can paint the walls and finally put down roots.

I plan to teach sculpting to adults and in schools. I’m also in talks with other museums about events for the coming two years and now have permission from the Palace to cast my finished portrait of King Charles III.

As a full-time sculptor, I’ll now be looking for opportunities to share my skills and find homes for the portrait edition of her late Majesty The Queen, which I would prefer to go to military regiments as a priority.

To see the sculpting process –head to Keziah’s Instagram @keziahburtartist to find a short film to learn more, or go to keziahburt.co.uk

Did you feel an extra special connection as you’re an army spouse?

It certainly

FAR-FLUNG FRIENDS

THERE are times in your life when it can be difficult to cope, but when you’re on an overseas posting with no family or other military friends close by, it can be even harder.

Whatever your issue, it often helps to talk to someone who can give advice or practical help. You may have a disability, health issues, or be caring for someone. You may be in a troubled relationship, or need emotional support. This is where the British Forces Social Work Services (BFSWS) Overseas team can support you. Esther Thomas, AFF’s Manager Overseas, meets Mandy Reeve, Head of the BFSWS Overseas team regularly, to share understanding of family life and its challenges.

Global support

BFSWS has been supporting British military families since

2014 in Germany, European Joint Support Unit locations, Canada, Kenya, Belize, USA, Saudi Arabia, Gibraltar, British Indian Ocean Territories and Singapore – and their reach has recently extended to Brunei.

The service is delivered via UK-based staff and some social workers on the ground. This blend enables them to work with overseas commands and host nations to provide specialist guidance and support to children and families 24/7, 365 days a year.

It includes: prevention and safeguarding services for children; parenting programmes; post-adoption support; victim safety work; and one-to-one courtmandated perpetrator programmes.

If you believe that your children would benefit from extra support, you can contact BFSWS directly via 0044 (0) 0808 168 3111 or by email to crt.bfsws@ coreassets.com. Command and other

agencies can also make a referral. Generally, a social worker will carry out an assessment within 45 days. You can be reassured that if support is identified as necessary, services will be planned giving due consideration to the ethnic, religious and cultural background of your family to ensure that your needs are met in the most appropriate way. For further info, see forcessocialwork.com.

Plan ahead

BFSWS has published an emergency contact form so you can formally nominate someone in your overseas community who is willing to provide support at short notice or in times of an emergency. Having these arrangements agreed in advance will give you and your children reassurance that they’ll be looked after by someone you know and trust. The forms should be available from welfare teams.

CASE STUDY

BFSWS worked with more than 100 personnel and their families in the last year. One of them was a spouse who was facing a family crisis. She reached out to AFF, who immediately referred her to BFSWS – they made contact within hours.

She emailed AFF to say: “I’m happy I sent my SOS message in a bottle yesterday and you got it! The BFSWS lady I’m in contact with is wonderful and her support is so important to me. Having friendly feedback and some down-to-earth advice, even if through a computer screen, is priceless – especially for me, a western spouse in a remote area.”

Picture: Daniel_Joshua from Pixabay

SUPER SUPPORT FROM SSAFA

HAVING children or becoming a parent overseas can be tough going when you’re away from your extended family and friends. English-speaking parent groups can be limited, and it can also be daunting receiving health care services abroad. This is where SSAFA’s Community Health Care Team can help.

It operates on British Forces bases from Canada to Kenya, Cyprus to Sennelager, and Brussels to Brunei, supporting families and children living in isolated posts both face-to-face and virtually.

Health Visitor Kerry Riley says: “In my role, I’ve noticed families feeling the benefit of support they receive from the SSAFA health visitor, whether that’s a supportive phone call to listen and advise, or through an intervention via video platforms. The availability of the Healthy Child Programme, which promotes health and wellbeing for all children and young people, reduces the impact living in isolation can have on the family’s emotional wellbeing and the child’s development.”

Army spouse Lyndsey went along to a weaning session with her daughter Ava, which Kerry ran in Belgium. She explains: “Kerry put so much

FIND OUT MORE

Join your local SSAFA Facebook group:

SSAFA Community Health – Brunei

SSAFA Community Health – BATUK

SSAFA Community Health – BATUS

SSAFA Community Health – British Forces Cyprus

SSAFA Health Visiting and School Nursing – Gibraltar

SSAFA Health Visiting – EJSU

thought and effort into the different types of foods that Ava tried and it was so helpful to have a health visitor in person for guidance and to answer questions. I loved that Ava could just get stuck in and practise using her motor skills and enjoyed making a mess. I’d recommend anyone to attend this session, it’s so relaxed and fun. Thank you Kerry!”

Dealing with change

Children and Adolescent Mental Health Services

SIMPLY RED

THE eRedbook, an electronic version of the ‘red book’ given to mums when pregnant or on the birth of their baby, is available overseas, so you can access your children’s records wherever you are.

SSAFA encourages all families with children, particularly those under five, to register. You can record your child’s immunisations and developmental milestones, upload health-related documents and access NHS advice.

It also has location-specific information and your SSAFA health visitor can input into your eRedbook remotely.

(CAMHS) nurse Siobhan

Cambridge adds that membership of the military community is a unique experience, which provides many great opportunities, but cautions: “Young people can face many challenges.”

Siobhan points out that Year 10 students are identified as the age group where support is often most needed: “From my experience, one of the biggest challenges is the constant change in friendship dynamics – plus living in a small

community, not having similar interests to others, bullying, rank systems, direct or indirect experiences of conflict.

“These challenges can impact young people’s mood, emotions, and daily functioning. They can also create feelings of worry, isolation and loneliness.”

In the EJSU areas, the team has been running parenting courses (in person and online) to help those of you in isolated locations to meet other parents in similar situations and learn some useful parenting strategies.

Prepare and participate

In BATUS, Canada, SSAFA Community children’s nurse Essie Atuwo recommends that you do as much research as you can before you go overseas: “Find out what’s available in terms of childcare options, after-school activities, parent/child groups etc.

“Volunteer or get involved in the community you live in or in surrounding communities to help with social isolation,” she says.

“Reach out to your Unit Welfare Officer or health visitor if you’re struggling. They may not have all the answers but will help you find the right agencies to support you.”

From left to right: CAMHS nurse

Siobhan Cambridge, health visitor

Kerry Riley and military baby Ava discovering her appetite

IN 2018, the Army Welfare Service (AWS) Intake & Assessment Team (IAT) was established as a single point of all specialist welfare support referrals in the UK and overseas, and importantly, you can make direct self-referrals.

With a small team of 12, the IAT dealt with more than 2,700 cases in its first year. WO1 Steve Connolly, the IAT Manager, told AFF: “Over the last three years referrals have risen by more than 40 per cent, with no increase in staffing. Whilst every effort is made to deal with referrals and enquiries promptly, expectations of timelines and services provided need to be managed.”

Steve explained that referrals are triaged at point of entry. If there is deemed to be a high risk, such as safeguarding or domestic abuse, these cases are immediately sent to a long-

term delivery team. However, if a case is deemed to have no immediate risk of harm, then it will be assessed according to need, before being allocated to an Army Welfare Worker (AWW), normally within 15 working days.

How can I make a referral?

You can do this in two ways:

l By email – via a third party, such as unit welfare or medical officers, padre or other support agencies. These referrals must use an AWS form, detailing knowledge of and relationship to the potential service user and sent to RC-AWS-IAT-0Mailbox@ mod.gov.uk

l By phone – anyone can call the IAT on 01904 88 2053/2054. Basic details will be taken and the case passed onto the duty AWW to respond. With just one duty AWW, it may be that

occasionally it may be the next day before calls are returned.

Overseas contact

AWS also has three lone AWWs based overseas and in exceptional circumstances, they can be deployed to any overseas location for specific cases.

l SHAPE – covering European Joint Support Unit locations, Germany, Kenya and the western part of the world including USA and Canada.

l Brunei – covering British Forces Brunei, Nepal and the eastern part of the world

including Singapore and Diego Garcia.

l Estonia – covering Op Cabrit locations.

“AFF has nothing but praise for this small team with a big reach,” says AFF’s Manager Overseas Esther Thomas. “A recent referral resulted in a co-ordinated approach to support a serving person in a remote location. Whilst we advised on family policy issues, the soldier potentially needed specialist welfare support beyond our remit. The AWW checked in on the soldier and reported back a positive outcome all within 24 hours.”

UNPACKING IMMIGRATION

THE immigration rules and processes you must follow to enter and remain legally in the UK as an armed forces spouse are complex and often poorly understood. Here, AFF’s Foreign & Commonwealth Specialist Katherine Houlston outlines some of the cases we regularly come across, where simple mistakes have had significant repercussions…

1. Coming to the UK without a visa

The F&C team is receiving increasing numbers of enquiries from families who come to the UK with the intention of remaining, without firstly getting a visa under armed forces rules. If you’re from a non-visa national country, such as St Vincent and the USA, it’s possible to ‘visit’ the UK for up to six months without applying for a visa to enter. However, if your intention is to remain here then you’re in breach of immigration rules.

Families who then apply to remain are in a vulnerable position whilst waiting for the application to be processed, which can take over a year. It’s not possible to work, open a bank account, use the NHS, drive or undertake education. If your application is refused, you’ll be issued with removal directions and will need to leave the UK immediately. If you remain in the UK for more than 30 days after this, you will not be able to reenter the UK for 12 months.

2. Applying for Citizenship when you don’t have Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR)

Unless you’re serving, it’s necessary to have been granted ILR (or permanent residency

A year later they contacted AFF for help as they’d had no response and were very concerned as they were all overstayers by that point. Our F&C team raised the issue to the UKVI Nationality Team who agreed to refund the application cost for Mrs Tunikula. The two children were granted Citizenship anyway because they were born in Germany, while Mrs Tunikula applied for ILR, which was granted in November last year.

visiting family. Another was in limbo for more than two years, not able to work and with no idea what was going on.

3. Applying using the wrong form

UKVI has specific armed forces application forms to enter the UK, but they’re not easy to find on its website because there isn’t a specific armed forces page. Applying on the ‘civilian’ rules to enter the UK costs an extra £1,560 because you then have to pay the Immigration Health Surcharge. It also means that your time spent on an overseas assignment would not count as residence in the UK. Whilst AFF can help you to get a refund and switch to the correct route, it can take a long time.

Recently, we have been contacted by a number of spouses who have applied for ILR on the wrong form. Spouses should use form SET(AF), not SET(M) or SET(O). If you use the wrong form, you have to withdraw that application and re-apply.

Refunds usually take at least 28 days so if your visa has already expired, your new application will need to be submitted immediately, meaning you can’t wait for the refund to be processed. Effectively, you have to pay £4,808 for each application.

under EU rules) before you can apply for Citizenship. It doesn’t matter that you may already meet the residency requirements – your application for Citizenship will be refused and in most cases you won’t receive a refund. Unfortunately, if your visa expires whilst you’re waiting for

your Citizenship application to be processed, you will also become an overstayer, even if you applied before expiry. The consequence of this simple mistake can be huge – one spouse has been stuck back in her home country for five months as her limited leave visa expired whilst she was

AFF is on

the

case I’ve been working with UKVI to improve the information for spouses on its website to try to prevent these mistakes from happening (see page 8). We recommend that you read the AFF website – aff.org.uk –before making any decisions, and get in touch if there’s anything you’re unsure about.

Mrs Tunikula and her two sons incorrectly applied for Citizenship in April 2021, two months prior to their limited leave visas expiring.

Picture: Freepik

CONNECTING IN COMFORT

SINCE we first featured them in Army&You almost two years ago, the Defence Breastfeeding Network (DBN) has gone from strength to strength.

Founded by servicewoman Natasha Day in 2020, DBN is a peer support group for military families on their infant feeding journey – through pregnancy, breastfeeding and beyond.

“I realised that there was limited support for servicewomen who return to work and continue to feed their babies,” explains Natasha.

“It started off as a small Facebook group but now boasts 1,200 members.

“In addition, 55 breastfeeding rooms have been opened across defence, we’ve contributed to changes in policy, introduced

breastfeeding posters, held the first UK armed forces breastfeeding photoshoot, and have trained 60 Level 2 breastfeeding peer supporters.”

Room of comfort

The breastfeeding rooms allow servicewomen private and comfortable spaces to express

HELP WHERE YOU NEED IT

WITH around 180 branches across the UK, Home-Start can offer assistance to parents when they need it most. Supporting more than 25,000 families and 46,000 children, the charity helps those struggling with postnatal depression, isolation, physical health problems, bereavement and many other issues.

Home-Start volunteers can spend around two hours a week in your home, providing support tailored to your needs.

Army spouse Lauren, whose daughter Layla has learning disabilities, told us how she was encouraged to contact her local Home-Start in Portsmouth by a specialist community nurse, after confessing to being anxious when leaving the house.

“Layla’s diagnosis gave us the means of getting her the right care, but it also meant I couldn’t return to work,” says Lauren. “I’d always paid my way, so it was hard to go down to being a one-wage family and being at home one-on-one with Layla all day, every day.”

Getting out

Lauren was introduced to John, her Home-

One new serving mum said: “The breastfeeding room at my camp has given me peace of mind that my chain of command will support me when I return from maternity leave.”

Future plans

The network has many plans for the future including the introduction of adapted uniform, training additional peer supporters, hosting webinars and doing more to educate about breastfeeding.

and store breastmilk during the working day. “All they need is a lockable door, comfortable seating, access to clean running water, electricity and fridge space – so it’s really simple to do if the infrastructure is there. Some establishments have chosen to spruce up the rooms to make them prettier too,” adds Natasha.

Natasha says: “If I said there wasn’t more work to be done I’d be lying – the network has only been running for two years so we have so much more we can achieve as we grow.”

Get in touch with Natasha at @defencebreastfeedingnetwork on Instagram, or via Defence Connect and MODNet.

Start volunteer, who she says has been a breath of fresh air. “Straight away he encouraged me to take Layla out,” she explains. “He’s so laid back and patient. Layla doesn’t make eye contact with people she doesn’t feel safe with, but she will engage with John.

“He has helped me not to worry what other people are thinking. He said if Layla has a meltdown in public, people won’t be judging, more likely they’ll be thinking ‘we’ve all been there’. Before John came into our lives I found taking Layla to the park really hard. When it was time to go home she’d start hitting and kicking me. John’s shown me how

to keep calm and that has really helped me to manage her behaviour. We’re so lucky to have him.

“Home-Start has made such a difference to our lives. They’ve directed us to groups too and they’ve given me confidence as a mum.”

Find out more

Each Home-Start is an independent charity, reliant on local funding to carry out their work. It recently launched its Cost-of-Living Crisis Appeal to provide families with the practical, compassionate and emotional support they need – go to home-start.org.uk to find out more.

Lauren, Layla and Will

GOT a passion for poetry? Even if you haven’t (yet), Front Line Poets might be for you. It’s an online writing workshop open to anybody with a forces connection where you can write, read and discuss poetry with others in the service community from anywhere in the world.

Hosted by poetry-lover Florrie Crass through Home Stage, which was founded during lockdown, the Zoom groups

proved to be cherished spaces for far-flung enthusiasts to meet virtually and make new friends.

“Poetry stood out as a uniquely valuable craft,” explains Florrie. “We could connect communities, spark conversations and offer a creative outlet.

“You might not think you’re one for poetry, but we want to change that,” she adds. “Writing and conflict have always been inseparable – just think of the huge influx of war poetry

during the First World War. Soldiers and civilians have and continue to put pen to paper to try to make sense of the events around them and we want to give you the opportunity to try this for yourself.”

Supported by Blakeney Cley and District Royal British Legion, Home Stage now runs monthly hour-long sessions. Those serving, veterans, carers, family, friends or with any connection to the forces are welcome to join.

“You can share a poem or

piece of writing, by yourself or someone else, on any topic,” concludes Florrie. “Each meet-up sees a wide variety of conversations sparked by the poems shared. All abilities are very welcome – the supportive nature of our groups has meant that even poetry newbies have found a home with us. Poetry has also shone a light on the common sense of loss that veterans feel upon leaving the forces.”

Go to home-stage.co.uk/frontline-poets for further details.

“It’s a great way of meeting likeminded people.”

- Jack Horner,

veteran

Picture: Thought Catalog on Unsplash/rawpixel.com

QUESTIONS OF SUPPORT

MANY of you approach AFF to ask whether you’re entitled to support for your children. Sometimes the answers are straightforward, but not always, particularly if your circumstances are a little more complex. Here, our Education & Childcare Specialist, Anna Hutchinson, looks at some recent queries…

I’m a single parent in the army. My childcare costs are really expensive and I wondered if any financial assistance is available?

Yes, we encourage all families to look at the government’s Childcare Choices website – childcarechoices.gov.uk – as this can quickly tell you what support may be available based on personal

circumstances and the area you live in. The site gives information on tax-free childcare, free childcare hours, Universal Credit for childcare and more. Some of you may also be eligible for the MOD’s new Wraparound Childcare (WAC) scheme – full details can be found on AFF’s website.

I’m leaving the army next year and my children are already anxious about schooling. Is there any funding that their new school can access to help them as we leave the army?

As long as the children were registered as service children after 2016 and have previously had access to the Service Pupil Premium (SPP), then the school can claim for six years after leaving the military or

until they finish Year 11, whichever is sooner. This is known as the Ever 6 service child measure – more at gov.uk. The SPP is available in England only, but each part of the UK has its own arrangements in place to support service children.

We are due to go overseas to an area without an MOD school or nursery. What childcare funding is available?

Depending on your children’s age, you may be eligible for the Overseas Nursery Authority, where you can claim back the equivalent nursery hours that you would have been entitled to if you were based in England. Full details are on AFF’s website. There is currently no option to access the WAC scheme so any after-school care would need to be funded privately.

My partner serves away during the week but is home at weekends. I work 25 hours a week and my children are both at primary school. Do we qualify for WAC?

Where the serving person lives away during the week but returns home at weekends they are simply classed as ‘separated for service reasons’ and they will meet the required eligibility. Families where the relationship has broken down and the service person lives at an alternative address would not be eligible. It’s best to check the WAC DIN for qualifying details and how to claim.

I live with my partner who is currently serving and my child from a previous relationship lives with us. We also have one child together who has just started school, are they both classed as service children?

When the child is living with the serving person it’s likely that they would qualify. Your partner would also need to have parental responsibility for the child as well as meeting the conditions of PStat Cat 2 (see page 19). The school should be able to claim SPP –full details at gov.uk

These are just a sample of the types of enquiries we regularly receive. If you have a question about any aspect of education or childcare, contact educationsupport@aff.org.uk

“The Childcare Choices website can quickly tell you what support may be available based on personal circumstances and the area you live in.”

INSPIRING TOMORROW’S INNOVATORS

ST SWITHUN’S has an internationally recognised reputation for academic success, and this is evident in our approach to education in the sciences, mathematics, computer science and design & technology, writes the school’s deputy head Charlie Hammel.

We promote academic rigour with a broad, challenging and contemporary curriculum, delivered with our award-winning High Performance Learning (HPL) approach to learning and teaching in all subjects.

The HPL philosophy holds that high achievement is an attainable target for everyone. Intelligence is not fixed; we can all become cleverer. High performers are made, not born. We encourage our students to recognise that high achievement is grown over time with excellent teaching and when feedback is applied through purposeful practice.

Central to HPL is the systematic and explicit development of the key learning skills and behaviours that equip students for success both in school and beyond. Learning skills include finding connections, strategy planning, problem-solving and thinking flexibly. Learning behaviours such as taking risks, persevering and being open-minded and collaborative are encouraged. Such learning skills and behaviours are not subject-specific: they translate between domains, academic and otherwise.

We reflect this transferability in our approach to STEM education. At all levels we emphasise development of deep, agile understanding of fundamental ideas. We teach an integrated science course in Years 7 and 8, in which knowledge and skills relating to biology, chemistry and physics are interwoven to encourage students to ‘think like scientists’, approach their scientific studies with a spirit of enquiry, to find connections and apply understanding between disciplines. From Years 9-11 students study separate biology, chemistry and physics to IGCSE level, and these

St Swithun’s offers many co-curricular opportunities in STEM, including:

l Astronomy Club, with the option to complete GCSE astronomy

l Biological Journal Club, run by U6 students discussing topical, recent advances in biological and medical research

l Greenpower battery-powered car design, engineering and racing

l Medical society, as well as enrichment courses in anatomy, diseases and public health

l Olympiads and competitions in all STEM subjects: biology, chemistry, physics, maths, computing and design & technology

subjects are available at A Level. Mathematics is compulsory to IGCSE level, with the option for the most capable, motivated mathematicians to take IGCSE further mathematics. In the sixth form A Levels are available in both mathematics and further mathematics. Both computer

science and design & technology are taught to all students in Years 7-9, after which both become options at IGCSE and A Level.

We greatly value inspiration beyond the classroom, and this year all academic departments at St Swithun’s celebrated National Science Week by delivering a crosscurricular programme linked to STEM. We welcomed visiting contributors from the world-famous Bletchley Park, who brought one of their Enigma machines and ran a series of mathematics workshops; and John Mott – the inventor of flashing trainers, dynamo torches and the Mottik toy brick – who delivered talks about how to invent and the business importance of patents and intellectual property. The raft of activities also included sessions with birds of prey, STEM top trumps and online particle physics workshops with the Rutherford Appleton Laboratory.

In 2023-24 we are launching a new, selective sixth-form STEM pathway for the most ambitious and committed A Level students taking at least two STEM subjects and who intend to study a STEM-related degree course at university (maths, science, computer science, design technology or engineering). Students on the pathway will benefit from the guidance of an individual STEM tutor and a programme of events and enrichment opportunities, including the chance to work on meaningful research in collaboration with university departments and industry. They are also expected to lead STEMrelated clubs and activities. At the end of the programme students achieve the St Swithun’s STEM Award in recognition of the development of their skills.

As a school our ambition in high-performing STEM education is to enhance opportunities for new generations of talented young women to lead the way in scientific and technical degree courses, industries and research, redressing imbalances in critical fields in which women have long been significantly underrepresented. stswithuns.com

We explore what Army-friendly schools and colleges are doing in the classroom – and beyond –to inspire the next-generation of STEM [science, technology, engineering, and mathematics] stars

Co-educational boarding and day school age 3-13 Part of the Malvern College Family of Schools

From the moment you set foot in our school, we strive to create a home from home. A place where children feel safe and supported, where friendships are effortless, and where they can develop their talents and interests and build the confidence to thrive. At The Downs Malvern, we believe it’s important to learn together as a part of one big family.

Private tours are available throughout the academic year.

To arrange a visit please contact registrar@thedownsmalvern.org.uk

TRADITIONALLY deemed ‘geeky’, dry subjects enjoyed only by boys, STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths) subjects are now officially cool and attracting record numbers of students – including girls!

The surge in popularity is mirrored at Gordon’s, a co-educational state boarding school in Surrey, where more and more students are leaving to study for, or pursue careers in, STEM fields including medicine and dentistry.

And in the last six months it’s not just the students that have won awards for their ideas and innovations in STEM but their teachers too.

The school has invested heavily in the infrastructure of STEM-related subjects and now boasts a STEM hub with a dedicated team of teachers, all experts in their fields. A purposebuilt Maths block was completed two years ago and more recently a slick new business and computer science suite of classrooms emerged on the Surrey Heath school’s skyline, offering the latest technology for students in light, contemporary surroundings. Another science laboratory joined six others at the school and further improvements have been made to the Design Technology Department.

As well as studying STEM subjects as part of the curriculum, students have the opportunity to develop their interests further through cocurricular options such as Olympiads, CREST Awards, SATRO and Siemens’ competitions. An inter-house Maths competition has also been added to the range of sports and arts that have been the traditional mainstay of intra-school battles.

Outside the school gates, students have been competing in the UKBC Biology Challenge, which attracted 41,000 students from 550 schools. The challenge tests not just a student’s knowledge of the curriculum but information gleaned from books, magazines, natural history programmes or current affairs. Gordon’s students were placed in Gold (top five per cent of entrants); Silver (top 15 per cent) and Bronze.

And an all-female coding club earned ‘Judges’ Favourite’ in the Global Innovators category of the Apps for Good Showcase, for their app Food.it, which encourages users to change their diets for the better, reduce food waste and improve the future of the planet.

The enthusiasm and teaching skills of staff at Gordon’s in STEM subjects has also reaped awards. In November, the PTI (formerly Prince’s Teaching Institute) awarded the school all eight of the possible subject leadership marks, two of them in Science and Maths. The PTI marks indicate that these departments have increased the challenge within their subject

curriculum, developed their staff’s specialist subject knowledge and subject-based links outside school as well as enthusing students through their subject-based activities beyond the curriculum.

In the early stages of a student’s journey through STEM at Gordon’s, the emphasis is on building their curiosity and engaging them through fun, exciting challenges as well as showing them how each discipline relates to everyday life. This might involve students making solar-powered pancakes or lava lamps in an after school club or creating an endothermic reaction to make ice cream without a freezer.

Students in the younger years have also competed in the TeenTech Awards, designed to recognise innovation and creativity.

Gordon’s gives students the chance to take CREST Awards – a nationally recognised scheme for student-led project work in STEM subjects. The British Science Association’s scheme inspires those taking part in either bronze, silver or gold to think and behave like scientists and engineers. To this end, students work alongside industry representatives.

Design and Technology is on the curriculum for all students in Key Stage 3 and then students can opt for it in Key Stages 4 and 5. Here they are exposed to product design, inclusive design principles, prototyping and graphical drawing techniques.

The subject is now about authentic problem solving and equipping students with the cognitive tools to be creative, spot and solve problems with materials and technology. Making still has a key place but D&T is now more about ideas than making boxes.

While younger years in Key Stage 3 will be

introduced to the subject through a number of varied design and making tasks, creating mood boards; isometric drawing anthropometrics and ergonomics, going on to producing desktop games; a USB LED lamp or inclusive pepper and salt containers for use by those with impaired sight or arthritic hands.

During the GCSE and A Level course students utilise what they have learnt before to undertake a main product design task where they have to go through the whole design process to solve a problem which culminates in the production of a final prototype.

Many students that take the subject go onto pursue university courses, apprenticeships and careers in engineering, architecture, and product design.

When the Covid pandemic hit, lessons were moved online for students working at home and the relevance of DT came to the fore as 3-D printers and laser cutters were put into production making protective masks and earsavers for the NHS as well as handy door pulls to negate the need for touching door handles.

Deputy Head (Academic) Andrew Reeve explained: “This is a new era for STEM at Gordon’s. We have invested heavily in the infrastructure and upgraded the facilities available as well as expanding what we offer to students.

“It’s an era of adventure and exploration within the curriculum and finding talent for something the students can take further in life.

“As well as Olympiads in biology, chemistry and physics, as part of our co-curricular academic options, there are countless opportunities across all these subjects for students to go above and beyond what is on the day to day curriculum.”

Millfield and Millfield Prep for ages 2-18 years are leading co-educational boarding and day schools in the UK, located in 400 acres in the South West of England. From its foundation in 1935 through to the present day, the school has inspired generations of students to immerse themselves in The Millfield Way to discover their personal brilliance. Millfield Prep School was recently named the UK’s Independent Prep School of the Year. STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) is an integral part of Millfield’s curriculum, and the school offers a wide range of activities in addition to the core syllabus to help students develop their skills and understanding.

Deputy Head (Academic), Alexandra Haydon introduced the Brilliance Curriculum and has worked with the teaching body to regain ownership of the school curriculum. Teachers have considered the core concepts and skills that shape each subject and how their subject connects to others. The school’s

academic programmes are therefore carefully planned and highly crafted, allowing students to develop disciplinary and interdisciplinary understanding.

Alexandra said: “The Brilliance Curriculum is inspirational in nature, aspirational in scope and carefully planned so that each topic within a subject builds on the knowledge and skills learnt previously and links explicitly to other areas of the Millfield curriculum. For example, the teaching of different mechanisms for water purification in Chemistry, is followed by the importance of water purification in Geography, with teachers from each department explicitly referring to this cross-curricular link. Chemistry and product design intertwine with students looking at how polymers are formed and how fractional distillation works, taking crude oil and turning it in to separate fractions like petrol and diesel, and students using ping pong balls to visually represent physics whilst learning about artillery warfare in history. Core

concepts in all subjects are used as the catalyst for personal discovery rather than where knowledge and ambition are stifled by exam specifications.”

Students in Millfield Prep School study the International Primary Curriculum (IPC), a thematic, creative curriculum, allowing children to develop knowledge, skills and understanding taught through individual units of learning. For example, the Active Planets theme could incorporate science, geography, history, languages and more. The Brilliance Curriculum takes over in Year 7 at Millfield Prep School, seamlessly bridging the gap between Millfield Prep and Millfield. Academic enrichment goes far beyond the classroom with an inspirational programme of visiting lecturers, student-led Brilliance Breakfasts and participation in national competitions, as well as a Head of Academic Culture who leads a broad and dynamic range of opportunities that fosters every student’s academic brilliance and curiosity.

THE LEYS theleys.net

For almost a decade, pupils at The Leys have benefitted from having a one-to-one personal device as part of the teaching and learning landscape. Teachers harness this technology to give pupils opportunities for creative and independent learning, whilst also training and preparing pupils for the digital systems of work and life beyond the school gate.

The Google Suite is the core system for

digital learning at The Leys, with Google Classroom being the key tool for Teaching and Learning. Years 7-11 are provided with a school-owned device (iPads). A bring your own device (BYOD) laptop scheme is in place for Sixth Form.

Pupils are trained in the effective use of iPads and laptops by a combined digital literacy and digital productivity programme as we recognise that teaching effective

behaviours for learning in a digital world is critical to success. We recognise the challenge of digital distraction and the importance of face-to-face communication so we restrict access by providing a whitelisted app-store and firewall that prevents access to social media.

Whilst iPads and Google provide our core digital learning landscape, The Leys has also invested in a unique educational initiative –the Vision Studio. Located on the top of the main teaching block, the Vision Studio is an education technology lab and production facility. The Vision Studio allows pupils to experience the latest technology including virtual and augmented reality, audio engineering and videography production.

The Vision Studio also provides a training and production base for educational resources and initiatives. These include the use of 360 cameras and drones to create immersive virtual tours, which came into their own throughout the Covid-19 disruption period. These initiatives enabled staff and pupils to continue learning in a period of substantial educational disruption.

OUR teaching of STEM subjects at Farleigh encompasses the range of topics you might expect to see on the science curriculum, including biology, chemistry and physics, but we aim to persuade the children to really investigate and experiment within these areas, writes Victoria Rogerson, Head of Science. We particularly like to promote Scientific Enquiry and How Science Works, a strand within our teaching that links well to the outside world. It enables children to explore big questions in Science and to collect data that will either prove or disprove a theory. We use real data with older children, which they collect, and we have recently planned to work alongside the Maths department to analyse that data. The children will be able to experience first-hand how Science and Maths work side-by-side.

This term, Year 8 are studying sound, light and chemical reactions; Year 7 are delving into atoms, elements and compounds, energy and cellular respiration; Year 6 are exploring particles and cells; Year 5 are observing physical and chemical changes; Year 4 are working scientifically and investigating electricity; Year 3 are investigating living processes and light and our youngest scientists, Years 1 & 2, are investigating materials.

Across all our age groups, we enjoy developing an understanding that STEM subjects are fundamentally what drive our ability to understand, analyse and interpret our world, and to find solutions to the practical problems we face.

FARLEIGH SCHOOL farleighschool.com

RIPLEY COURT SCHOOL

Ripley Court School’s enrichment programme offers a wide range of experiences and opportunities.

The activities enable children to work collaboratively as part of a team, exercise leadership qualities, and develop a wide range of skills that enhance their learning both inside and outside the classroom. Children participate in enriching and age-appropriate activities such as Lego Robotics, Financial Literacy, The Magic of Maths, Forest School, STEM, and Go Curiosity sessions. In addition, children visit Reed’s School each term to use their facilities, including the Cricket Centre and FutureTech building, for a co-curricular curriculum in a carousel of activities. All activities are age-appropriate and run by our dedicated teachers and staff from Reed’s.

MEET THE PARENTS!

SALISBURY Cathedral School has welcomed Mr Reynolds and Ms Wernham to their new role as House Parents in the boarding house.

It’s a step up for the newly engaged young couple in recognition of their fantastic work as boarding tutors over the last few years. Boarding at Salisbury Cathedral School is renowned for its special family atmosphere, and this is something Mr Reynolds and Ms Wernham are focussed on maintaining and improving.

“Having been part of the Salisbury Cathedral School boarding family for many years already, it is a real honour to be asked to take the role of House Parent,” said Mr Reynolds.

“Boarding at our school has always been about providing a home from home, with a family atmosphere, and this is what we want to build on.”

The couple inherit a thriving community of full boarders including many forces families, choristers, and international pupils primarily from Spain and South Africa. They are now looking to build on this happy family by improving the flexi-boarding provision and creating a new day boarding opportunity.

“We believe that increasing

the number of flexi-boarders, and investing in day boarding, will improve the full boarding experience. After all, playdates and sleepovers are an integral part of family life. It is a real win-win situation. Day pupils can experience a slice of boarding life and boarding pupils enjoy more time with their friends,” explained Ms Wernham.

Ensuring continuity for full time boarders will remain a key priority whilst welcoming more pupils into the extended boarding community. Flexi-boarders will be assimilated into existing boarding routines and regular flexi-boarders will be invited to leave their boarding kit at

school to help them feel even more at home.

The new ‘day boarding’ provision offers opportunities for pupils to stay for an extended school day taking supper with the boarders and enjoy relaxing with their friends during boarders’ time. Pupils participating have access to use school facilities – such as the pool, cricket nets and adventure playground – during boarders’ time or can just relax with friends in the boarders’ common room.

PARENTAL GUIDANCE

Mr Reynolds has taught at Salisbury Cathedral School for seven years. He is a chorister

tutor and a class teacher as well as House Parent. Ms Wernham joined Salisbury Cathedral School in 2020 and works as a form tutor and English teacher as well as a House Parent. Working within the school as well as the boarding house means Mr Reynolds and Ms Wernham have a full understanding of the lives of the children in their care and can support them accordingly. Ms Wernham is qualified in Youth Mental Health First Aid and is trained to teach mindfulness by the Mindfulness in Schools Project.

ABOUT BOARDING

Salisbury Cathedral School boarders live in a period property a short walk from the school, but still within the walls of the beautiful Cathedral Close in the heart of Salisbury. It is a real home from home filled with family furnishings and opening onto a large grassy lawn where the children can play. It is deliberately empty of any kind of commercial furniture or fittings; soft sofas, new bunk beds and books and games fill the rooms and a few of the windows have a highly coveted Cathedral view. Two muchloved guinea pigs – Aggie and Enid named after Agatha Christie and Enid Blyton – complete the family.

salisburycathedralschool.com

ripleycourt.co.uk

A DOG’S LIFE AT WELLINGTON

THERE was a lot of excitement in a recent school assembly as Wellington Eagles Primary introduced their newest addition, a 12-week-old Cocker Spaniel royally named Lillibet who will be joining the Ludgershall school as their therapy dog.

The dream of introducing a therapy dog to the primaries has been inspired by the incredible work at another trust school, The Wellington Academy, who have a school therapy dog, Duke, as part of their team. With much research showing how therapy dogs benefit learning by supporting children and helping regulate emotions, Duke has supported many pupils and is a significant part of their school life.

With regards to training Lilibet as a therapy dog Sarah Johnson-Motyl, headteacher at Eagles explains: “We will be working closely with Amy Wood who is the founder of the ‘Dogs for Health’ charity and works with many schools in the area including The Wellington Academy.”

Asked about how the school plans to introduce Lillibet to more nervous pupils, Sarah explained: “Amy will be helping

us when introducing Lillibet to pupils, especially for children who may be nervous or need support around animals.”

Sarah also explained why they have chosen the name Lillibet: “She is named after our late Queen Elizabeth, and we feel the name Lillibet will remind us of how she was a fantastic role model and represented all of our school values.” She added: “We also wanted to get the children involved in the naming process so they have chosen the middle name of Rose.”

In keeping with the royal theme, Lillibet Rose will also have her own red case which will be sent to children so they can share their work and reading books by putting them in the case and have special time with Lillibet if they want a place to talk.

Sarah added: “We will be writing a poem

about her and why she is named after the Queen to share with King Charles and The Queen Consort and, of course, the children have said they would like them to visit us and Lillibet, so we will work together to make this dream come true. After all, we never had a grand opening due to Covid so I believe a letter is being drafted to Buckingham Palace – watch this space!”

Lillibet will primarily support SEN, vulnerable and service children but will also visit classrooms and welcome pupils at the beginning of the school day. When not on duty Lillibet will live with Head teacher Sarah and her family of five boys so is sure to get plenty of love and attention.

Dogs for Health is a non-profit organisation founded in 2020. They offer animal assisted therapy, animal assisted interventions and animal assisted education.

To find out more about the charity visit dogsforhealth.org.uk

Wellington Eagles is part of Ascend Learning Trust, visit ascendlearningtrust. org.uk to find out more about the trust.

For more information about Wellington Eagles Primary go to wellingtoneagles.org.uk

YOURPBAWARDS.COM

SALUTE A SPORTING

LOVED ONE...

When it comes to the martial arts, medals are not the only measure of a champion. With participants ranging from Olympians and elite athletes to enthusiasts and aspiring novices, progress and peak performance can look very different… but that doesn’t mean individual victories should not be shared and celebrated.

The Your Personal Best Awards exist to showcase the success stories and momentous milestones of all martial artists – no matter their age or level of ability – and salute those helping them to hit new highs.

The Your Personal Best Awards are inclusive, independent and recognise the individuality of progress and attainment and bring Premier League polish to the martial arts mats. Visit www.yourpbawards.com to nominate the sporting star in your family.

FAMILY COURT COMPREHENSION

RELATIONSHIP breakdown for any family with children is an emotional time, and when one or both parents are in the military, it adds another layer of complication when separating.

AFF is currently working with both the MOD’s Family and Safeguarding team and family courts throughout the UK, to make sure that military families understand the court process wherever they are based, and that courts have access to clear guidance on the modern armed forces.

Whilst AFF can’t help directly with custody cases and we’d always recommend that you get professional legal advice, we would welcome any evidence you may have. This will help us to better understand the issues you face, and we can feed this in to our contacts – email contact@aff.org.uk

SPONSORED FEATURE: LAW

‘A KINDER APPROACH TO SEPARATION’

THE advent of no-fault divorce earlier this year marked the first major change to divorce law in nearly 50 years, writes Tom Gregory, a solicitor at Anthony Collins.

Whilst there was the usual hand wringing from some about how no-fault divorce reduces the integrity of marriage as an institution, legal practitioners (and indeed their clients) see it as a welcome step towards a more understanding, less hostile and ultimately kinder approach to separation.

Indeed, under the previous regime, unless the applicant had been separated for at least two years from their spouse or civil partner, they were required to demonstrate “fault” on the part of the respondent. Sadly, this all too often inflamed a delicate situation and time, money and emotion was unnecessarily spent on dealing with what should have been, in legal terms at least, an administrative exercise.

No fault divorce, or to give the legislation its full title the ‘Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020’, ended the fault-based approach. Rather than the applicant party showing the existence of one of five facts,

provided the marriage or civil partnership has subsisted for at least one year, the applicant simply signs a statement to confirm the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Furthermore, and presumably in the spirit of equity, it is also possible for the parties to jointly sign the statement.

Whether signed by one or both of the parties, the court must treat this statement as conclusive evidence that the relationship has broken down irretrievably and the applicant/s will be entitled to move ahead with the divorce.

Upon receipt of the signed statement the court will issue the application and start a 26 week timeline which will end with the dissolution of the parties’ legal relationship. As with the previous decree nisi and decree absolute milestones, the 26 week timeline comprises two sections:

1. The first begins from the date of issue and runs for 20 weeks, effectively a period of reflection after the initial application. At the end of the 20 weeks either party (or both) can apply for a ‘conditional order’ (formerly the decree nisi).

2. When the conditional order is made, the parties then enter the final six week stretch, after which either or both parties can apply for the final ‘divorce order’ (formerly the decree absolute) which will confirm the end of the parties’ marriage or civil partnership.

An additional feature of no-fault divorce is that a respondent can no longer defend the application. In other words, the respondent cannot argue the marriage has not broken down because the court is required to treat the statement signed by the applicant as conclusive evidence that the marriage is over. The removal of the option to defend a divorce appears to be a deliberate policy decision designed to deal with the unpleasant phenomena of a party being trapped in an unhappy relationship with no obvious source of reprieve, circa Owens v Owens.

Nevertheless, the new approach still allows a respondent to “dispute” an application in the event there are issues about the subsistence of the marriage, or jurisdictional issues.

anthonycollins.com

REFLECTIONS ON

HOW does no-fault divorce affect matrimonial finances and children?

The team at Slater and Gordon share their expertise...

With the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022, there are a number of changes to the divorce process, including the removal of the requirement for blame to be attributed, the possibility of making a joint application for divorce, and the removal of the option to contest the divorce.

Divorce legally ends the marriage, however it does not resolve matrimonial finances or child arrangements. The introduction of no-fault divorce has the potential to make these arrangements easier to settle, allowing for more constructive conversations, because the animosity which could previously be involved at the outset, in having to assign blame in order to get divorced, is alleviated.

CHILD ARRANGEMENTS

Following separation, discussions around child arrangements should start as soon as possible. It isn’t always possible to come to an amicable arrangement directly, and in these circumstances, mediation should be attempted. You will first both attend a Mediation

Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a neutral, third party mediator, before joint mediation sessions commence. In the event you’re unable to reach an agreement, via mediation or through solicitors, then you have the right to apply for a Child Arrangement Order at Court which will commence Children Act Proceedings, however Court should always be a last resort and alternate forms of dispute resolution should first be attempted.

MATRIMONIAL FINANCES

Any financial settlement reached upon divorce (confirming the divide of the matrimonial pot) will need to be drafted into a financial consent order and lodged at Court to be made legally binding, formally dismissing financial claims. A financial consent order cannot be lodged at Court for the Judge’s approval until the first decree in the divorce (the decree nisi or conditional order) has been pronounced. In order to reach a financial settlement, it’s standard for there to be an exchange of full and frank financial disclosure before negotiations commence, in order to determine the extent of the pot for division.

When embarking on the breakdown of your marriage, it’s

imperative that you seek advice from a specialist family law solicitor, experienced in dealing with military divorce. Your

solicitor will guide you through the process and ensure you receive the best outcome for you, and your family.

Your family law specialists

As specialists in military Divorce, we understand that military life can make family circumstances more complex, which is why we provide straightforward advice to help you move forward with clarity and confidence.

Following the introduction of “No Fault Divorce”, we offer a competitively priced fixed fee Divorce for £540 inc of VAT plus Court fee. We can also assist you with the resolution of your matrimonial finances and child arrangements, providing clear information on costs from the outset.

LISBON, PORTUGAL

A POSTCARD FROM...

Stuart, Kim, Lucas (13), Ellie (11) and Finn (11)

How long have you been an army family?

We have been together since early 2005, we met in the Netherlands and married there in 2007.

Time in Lisbon?

We arrived in May 2021 in the middle of the pandemic. We lived in our own house back in the UK. When the option of Lisbon came up, we decided as a family to take the opportunity. We had never been to Portugal before; the weather was amazing and naturally most of us got sunburnt on the first day.

How many other military families live there?

We have a small community with 22 serving personnel, this is a tri-service location. Some serving

people brought their families.

What’s your quarter like?

DIO allocates private accommodation so everyone’s quarter is different. Although an effort is made to co-locate serving members/personnel, we are generally spread out quite far. The quarters in general however are very nice, spacious and even stay cool in the summer.

Are there any employment/ training opportunities?

Employment on base is possible although limited. Training opportunities are provided and shared by the Community Liaison Officer.

What about schools/ childcare?

There are several schools and

nurseries, all local, most are international. English speaking schools are located all around our location – this area has a lot of expats. Even with after school and sports clubs, most can speak English.

Where do people tend to get together and who supports you?

We have the National Support Element who supports us and weekly coffee mornings with the community.

How do you find the cost of living?

It’s probably slightly lower than a lot of places although there are definitely ups and downs. Food shopping is comparable with similar types of supermarkets as the UK. Day trips out can vary

although most are usually good value, but because there’s lots to see and do in Portugal and most things are spread out, fuel costs can get quite high.

What are the best and worst things about Lisbon?

The worst is the Portuguese driving style – expect the unexpected! The best things are the people, the way of life and the opportunities available. We’re about ten minutes away from the beach, 20 minutes from Lisbon centre and airport.

Would you recommend it as a family posting?

Absolutely! The opportunities are endless. The atmosphere and way of life is more relaxed, this is the perfect posting for a family with children or without.

Want to share your experiences of army family life? Get in touch by emailing editor@aff.org.uk

#OurArmyFamily

Daniela Makin, her serving husband Seth and their children Raphael (7), Corin (6) and Arwen (1) have embraced life in the rainforests of British Forces Brunei during their latest posting…

Namaste! I knew from our first meeting at university in 2008 that Seth wanted to dedicate his career in medicine to serving his country and becoming an army doctor. It was a vocation that seemed utterly selfless to me. I had grown up in France and Switzerland, and knew nothing about UK forces life. I was humbled, even inspired, by it.

Since marrying in 2012, we’ve lived in Cambridgeshire, Surrey, Suffolk, and currently Brunei with our family of five – our cat, Frodo, is currently being cared for by family in the UK until our return. It’s only since moving here that I’ve had the opportunity to consider the impact Seth’s choice of career has had on me and our children.

The year before our move, he had been to Afghanistan for a tour that stretched to seven months due to the pandemic.

THE CATALYST

To enter into a crisis of international significance, looking after two young children, home-schooling solo, whilst Seth was able to help only through daily WhatsApp conversations, was terrifying. Nevertheless, we both pulled through stronger and decided to apply for this posting. Four months after our lockdown baby was born, we left for a new life across the world. Brunei Darussalam – Abode of Peace – is a beautiful country where you can open your door and discover something new

every day. From the oriental pied hornbills to the scampish macaque monkeys; from the scarlet skimmer dragonflies to the ‘chit chats’ – house geckos –that chirrup contentedly from the ceilings; from the bright yellow buds of dillenia to the fragrant frangipani and bougainvillea, it’s a naturalist’s paradise.

The natural environment is what anchors me here. It can be an arduous posting for those who enjoy a hectic social calendar and prefer to have amenities close-by. We wait up to three weeks for UK post however, we do have the beloved NAAFI, BFBS radio and television.

VITAL VOLUNTEERING

Jobs are few and far between,

which can be challenging for those spouses who have paused their career – I gave up teaching and studying for a PhD. Many of us volunteer to keep our minds stimulated and the dust off our CVs. The Thrift Shop, Toy Library and Hornbill Helping Hands (PTA) are just some of the organisations which thrive thanks to the selfless dedication of families who give their time. I volunteer at a local library and have set up the British Forces Brunei (BFB) Bookworms book club thanks to the support of Reading Force.

Yes, sacrifices need to be made by families when moving to Brunei, however, the advantages of this posting are countless. Beyond the travel destinations that are suddenly on our doorstep, BFB itself is a unique community founded on respect, peace and tolerance, where our children safely grow into ‘international citizens’ amidst numerous cultural traditions, religions and languages. It’s an honour to be part of this community.

&

Whatever your relationship to your soldier, we’d love to hear about your army family. Email editor@aff.org.uk and follow @ArmyandYou for more stories.

PARENTAL PLANNING

THERE’S so much to think about when you discover you’re expecting a baby, or have been matched with a child for adoption, that it’s easy to forget everything that’s in place to help you.

JSP 760 is a good place to start – it explains the entitlements your soldier has to maternity, adoption or paternity leave and pay. Here are a few highlights for you to consider, whether you’re married or in a long-term relationship…

Sharing the load

Shared parental leave (SPL) gives you more choice in how you care for your child during the first year. A mother (or primary adopter) must take a minimum of two weeks’ maternity (or adoption) leave following the birth/placement. After that, if you’re a working parent, you can opt to share up to 50 weeks’ leave, and up to 37 weeks of statutory shared parental pay with your serving partner under the Armed Forces Shared Parental Leave Scheme and the shared parental leave scheme of your own employer.

There are several ways to use SPL, including:

l the mother or primary adopter returns to work and their partner takes SPL l the mother or primary adopter returns to work early from maternity or adoption leave and takes SPL later

l both parents are off at the same time l both parents share SPL evenly and are off at different times

l both parents return to work at the same time and take SPL later.

After the birth of their third child, soldier Gary took sixth months’ SPL so his wife Naomi could return to her job. “Having taken over a year off with the previous two children, I didn’t want the same break at this stage of my career,” says Naomi. “We wanted to give Gary the opportunity to experience all the ups (and downs!) of looking after a baby every day.

“SPL is a crucial part of achieving gender equality in the workplace and gives fathers a precious opportunity to spend quality time with their baby. We would highly recommend it to anyone.”

The criteria

To qualify, your soldier needs to satisfy the ‘Continuity of Employment Test’, and the other parent must fulfil the ‘Employment and Earnings Test’. For SPL to start, the mother or

primary adopter must either return to work or give their employer binding notice of the date they plan to end their leave.

To apply, your soldier must notify their commanding officer no later than 15 weeks before they intend to start the leave. Your own employer will specify the notification period in their policy. For further details, visit gov.uk/shared-parental-leave-and-pay

Maternity and Adoption Pay

Planning ahead will allow your employer to support you and ensure you get everything you’re entitled to. But, as ever with life as an army family, postings can turn your plans on their head!

Wherever you work, you are automatically entitled to statutory maternity pay (or maternity allowance) provided you satisfy the government’s eligibility requirements. However, Occupational Maternity Pay (OMP) and Occupational Adoption Pay (OAP) are determined by each organisation – your employer decides whether they pay this and how much.

If your employer offers OMP or OAP, consider if you’ll be able to fulfil any return to work requirements before you accept. If

you’re posted during your leave, you may be asked to repay the occupational part of your pay if you can’t go back to work.

Of course, you may have every intention of returning when you start your maternity leave, but are then unable to because of an unexpected posting. Explore alternative ways to fulfil the requirement, such as remote working, reduced hours or transferring to another branch.

Other family friendly policies

Service personnel can take compassionate leave to support their partner if they experience post-natal difficulties. Your soldier can apply for two weeks’ leave in these circumstances, in addition to two weeks’ paternity leave.

Another entitlement is unpaid parental leave, which your soldier may take to look after their child’s welfare – to settle children into new schools for example. Each parent is entitled to 18 weeks’ unpaid leave up to the child’s 18th birthday, with a limit of four weeks in any one year.

Check your eligibility requirements at discovermybenefits.mod.gov.uk/army/ army-health-welfare

Picture: Pixabay

“Shared parental leave is a crucial part of achieving gender equality in the workplace and gives fathers a precious opportunity to spend quality time with their baby. We would highly recommend it to anyone.”

FOR THE YOUNGER MEMBERS OF YOUR ARMY FAMILY

YoungGeneration

Conquering confidence

ARE you ready for the 2023 Annington Challenge? Last year’s events had record numbers of children and young people from service families taking part – and it proved to be the highlight of their summer.

For the past ten years, the Annington Challenge has provided military youngsters aged 11-19 from all over the UK with an opportunity to experience an Outward Bound course. The project is aimed at those who would benefit from an experience proven to improve self-confidence and self-belief, team-working skills and resilience.

Annington funds up to 90 per cent of the cost and

applications are encouraged from all ranks. In 2022, 71 military youngsters, including 31 from the army, were lucky enough to be offered a choice of four courses – Basecamp, Ridge, Summit and Pinnacle – that took place at two of Outward Bound’s fantastic centres – Aberdovey in North Wales and Ullswater in Cumbria.

GOING BEYOND

The groups enjoyed everything from sailing, abseiling and rock climbing to wild camping, canoeing and gorge walking. The programmes were overseen by Outward Bound’s team of experienced and qualified instructors, who encouraged the youngsters to tackle activities designed to take them outside their comfort zones.

One army youngster was 15-year-old Izzy Moverley (pictured left), a student at Dauntsey’s in Wiltshire, whose dad is based at army headquarters.

Izzy told us that the Annington Challenge helped her to come out of her shell and instil a sense of self-confidence.

“I was really nervous on the way to Aberdovey and when I arrived I was on my own like everyone else – no-one knew anyone,” she recalls. “But then a girl called Molly just smiled at me – who knew that just by introducing yourself, you’d make a friend.

“Meeting loads of new people was great and the experience really helped me put myself in other people’s

shoes. Some people struggled during different activities and I found myself encouraging and supporting them. At times I really felt like a leader.

“I enjoyed gorge walking the most as I’ve never done that before. The worst bit was the abseiling… we spent the night sleeping on the mountain over a cave and then the next morning abseiled down over it.

The whole experience made me feel really good about myself, particularly when we summited three mountains in one day.”

For anyone considering applying for a place for 2023, Izzy has one simple piece of advice: “Do it – you really do only live once!”

l To register or find out more, scan the QR code above.

Picture: Elahe Motamedi on Unsplash

IF YOU’RE A YOUNGSTER IN AN ARMY FAMILY, THEN THE ANNINGTON CHALLENGE IS FOR YOU.

Apply online for a place on the 2023 Annington Challenge and you can forge your own path. You’ll build self-confidence and self-esteem, while learning some valuable life lessons along the way!

Fun, friendly and life-changing, the Annington Challenge is open to all 10-19 year-olds from families of all Army ranks.

Applications close on 31st January 2023. Up to 90% of all course fees are covered and all equipment is supplied. Courses range from 5-19 days in duration and take place during the school summer holidays. You choose the course that’s best for you!

BOOK CLUB

SEASIDE SENSATION

Lilah loved this book, she enjoyed seeing the adventures the seagulls go on. She laughed out loud at how cheeky they were when pinching the food. Lilah even recognised the Blackpool Tower from a family trip to the seaside and was amazed that it was featured in the story. This is a lovely family book with lots of pictures, even Lilah’s little brother, Joey, enjoyed engaging with the story. Seagulls Don’t Eat Sorbet has become a firm favourite in our house.

HAVE FUN SHARING BOOKS

READING FORCE is the free shared reading initiative for forces families where you can share a book and talk about it, together at home or via video call if separated from your soldier.

You’ll receive a free book and scrapbook to fill in with your thoughts, letters, drawings and photographs. It’s a fun way to keep connected. Teens will receive a special journal.

Take part via your children’s school, HIVE, or register online at readingforce.org.uk

children would like to review books for the A&Y Book Club, email hattie@readingforce.org.uk with their names and ages

If your CEA funding available with fees under the CEA limit plus a 10% military discount.

In this edition’s Army&You and Reading Force Book Club, service youngsters tell us what they thought of Seagulls Don’t Eat Sorbet: The First Adventure by soldier Babs Vinden-Cantrell…

Published by Troubador

Giveaways

Click the giveaways tab at armyandyou.co.uk or scan the QR code on this page for your chance to win. Entries close on 12 February 2023 unless otherwise stated.

WATERWAY WONDERS

Experience the joys of a break spent exploring Britain’s beautiful canals with Anglo Welsh, the narrowboat holiday company.

From rural retreats to exciting waterside city centres, Anglo Welsh offers the choice of over 160 boats from 11 bases across England and Wales. Moor up in the centre of a host of destinations like Stratford-upon-Avon, Birmingham, Chester, Coventry or Oxford. Or visit iconic sites like the UNESCO World Heritage Pontcysyllte Aqueduct in North Wales, or the Anderton Boat Lift in Cheshire, for a wonderful holiday afloat. You don’t need to be an expert, tuition is provided as part of the package and Anglo Welsh’s holidays are child and pet-friendly too.

Service personnel can claim up to 15 per cent off, visit anglowelsh.co.uk or call 0117 304 1122 to book.

You could win a short break aboard a ‘Weir Class’ narrowboat for up to four people, worth up to £880.

Prize open to serving regular or reserve families only. Short breaks can be weekend (3 nights) or midweek (4 nights). The holiday can be taken any time in 2023, subject to availability. Up to one pet, fuel and a compulsory £50 non-refundable damage waiver are included.

SHO stopper

Reusables never looked so good with SHO’s range of stylish bottles and flasks. SHO believes reusables should be accessible to all, whatever your budget, and with simple and sleek designs in a choice of colours and sizes, you can be kind to the environment in style.

All of SHO’s products have been formulated with vacuum technology to keep your food and drink piping hot or cold for hours. So, whether you are going out for the day, need to refresh on your commute or heading to the gym, there’s a SHO product for you – shoreuseable.com

We’ve got a bundle of SHO’s best selling products for a lucky winner – the Original 2.0 bottle, Food Flask, Calix coffee cup and Pacto tumbler.

Banish boring hair days

Annie Beau Accessories’ beautiful range is made from carefully selected quality fabrics, for children and adults – all handmade to order by military spouse Suzanne Kavanagh (more on page 65).

During the pandemic, Suzanne started making re-usable face masks for other military families. To make them more enjoyable to wear, she created matching headbands and hair bows, which have since become the main focus of her business.

We’ve teamed up to offer three lucky winners a £20 gift voucher each –choose any products in the current range, or treat a friend!

A&Y readers can claim 10 per cent off with code AFF10 at anniebeau.com until 28 February 2023.

Flame fragrances

Gatcombe Candle Co. was born in Shropshire in 2018 by Nicola whilst her husband Dave was serving in the army. When he retired in 2021 after 24 years’ service, he joined Nicola to help the company grow. “We hope you enjoy our products as much as we love making them,” she says.

Her philosophy from the outset was to create products which are elegant, luxurious and with long-lasting fragrances. Gatcombe Candle Co. is stocked in independent shops and salons around the country, and of course you can buy online too – claim 10 per cent off using ARMY10 at the checkout.

You could win a £50 voucher to spend at gatcombecandleco.co.uk

One entry per household per giveaway. See page three for competition rules. Your information will not be used for marketing purposes. Winners’ names and T&Cs are published on the Army&You website.

BlogSpot

Welcome to Army&You’s BlogSpot. Write your thoughts about army life and send them to editor@aff.org.uk

Fifty shades of beige

By Helen Reedman @My_Military_Quarter

In the nine years of being a military spouse we have moved six times, with posting number seven scheduled for February. That’s an awful lot of packing boxes and tape!

Our quarters like so many others share the flamboyant ill-fitting curtains, fifty shades of beige paint and don’t even get me started on the en-sinks (I have a top tip for those on my Instagram). Despite all of this, I’m forever grateful to be able to live with my husband in a supportive community wherever his career takes us.

Having a place that feels like home for even the shortest of postings can alleviate some of the worries of everyday life. A sanctuary away from the stress

of work is something really close to my heart. The muted magnolia walls act as a blank canvas which seem to fade into insignificance and showcase any interior design.

Adding a personal touch doesn’t need to break the bank either, in my experience the biggest investment is my time. My personal mantra is to always leave the quarter better

than when you marched in. Cleaning comes first, followed by hanging curtains and blinds. Most of our furniture is either second-hand or home-made. The best example is our dining table; made from reclaimed scaffolding boards with pin legs sourced from an online marketplace.

Moving so frequently I purchase or create items that are

versatile and complement even the most humble interior. My husband on the other hand, loves to bring home keepsakes from deployments which I struggle to find a home for. One particular Kenyan sandstone ‘Thinking Man’ does more miles around our house than my husband on PT!

Seasonal styling is another way I regularly update the look, it seems to breathe a new lease of life into our home. My husband often teases me by asking “which ‘occasion’ box do I need to get in from the garage next?”. I think he secretly enjoys it.

We try to cherish special moments where and when we can. We never know where his career will take him next and for that reason, we’re thankful for the time we have together and try not to get too upset when our plans have to change.

For us home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling and it’s whom you share it with that matters.

Helen is our Best Blogger for this edition – she wins a bundle from Tactical Coffee, created by former Royal Artilleryman Darren Gray. He began his journey after being introduced to his first ‘proper’ coffee during a tour of Kosovo in 1999: “I’ve always had a passion for good coffee and after completing my first course in 2015 I decided to study its history and origins. I’ve had many a cup in the guardroom and drank too much compo coffee on operations and exercise to know what bad coffee is!”

Tactical Coffee sources the best sustainable coffee from around the world, designing unique blends with its partner roaster. The company uses the finest, specially selected, washed and polished beans - all its coffees are traceable, Rainforest Alliance and Fairtrade certified.

Look out for Tactical Coffee at events or go to tacticalcoffee.co.uk for more.

Helen’s prize includes four 250g packs from a choice of 14 blends, a Tactical Coffee mug, dripper, 100 x filters, travel mug, stickers and badge.

“Adding a personal touch doesn’t need to break the bank, in my experience the biggest investment is my time.”

Lockdown, an accessory to success

By Suzanne Kavanagh @anniebeauaccessories

Less than one year into our dream posting to Cyprus schools and businesses shut and we were only allowed to leave the house for one walk a day, it was hard to believe how quickly and drastically life had changed.

As much as I loved the quality family time during lockdown, I need to keep busy. To have this taken away was a huge struggle. At the time, I owned an alterations business on camp, which couldn’t continue. When the rule of face masks came in, I began receiving messages asking if I would make them. I knew that I needed to use my skills and do my bit for the pandemic; and so my (third) baby was born – Annie Beau Accessories.

After putting an ad on the community Facebook page,

I was inundated with orders and subsequently spent most evenings sewing hundreds of face masks. I’ve never complained about not having anything to do since!

Realising that I enjoyed smaller scale sewing and selling a product rather than a service, I started making matching headbands, scrunchies and hair

Big fan of blogs? Read more at armyandyou.co.uk/blogspot

from having the entire top floor, to now a desk in the corner of a very small dining room and all my fabrics in a cardboard box.

WIN Annie Beau products on page 63

bows. The military community in Cyprus were so supportive of my little business and I will forever be grateful for how they helped it grow. Some days I’d be on the school run and I’d count how many people I could see wearing my accessories – that was always a proud moment.

Working from a military quarter can be challenging. I’ve gone

Now that both my children are in school, I have more time during the day and it feels more like a ‘normal’ job as I’m not having to put all the hours in during my evenings. It can get overwhelming when lots of orders come in at the same time and you’re the only person responsible for making them, but I’ve learnt to be honest when the wait time is going to be longer than usual. Nearly all of my customers are military mums so they understand that life can get in the way sometimes.

Army life can be so hard when you’re constantly having to start from scratch and make new friends, but having a business is a good way of meeting new people. I feel lucky to be in a position where something I love doing has turned into a business, and that it’s one I can take with me wherever the army sends us.

A place where I’m made to feel I belong

By Katie Galloway

I’m in year 10 and I’m a service child at Risedale School in Catterick Garrison.

I’ve been here since September 2021 and at the beginning, it was difficult. A lot of new people, who I’m now great friends with, asked me where I was from. Having moved all around the UK, been to five different schools and having lived in six houses, it isn’t an easy question to answer.

I’ve been to so many different places at so many different times that I don’t believe I’m really from anywhere. However, Risedale has made me feel as if I belong.

Our headteacher, Mr Scott, is from a military background and also served so he understands how difficult it is for anyone to move around a lot, lose and gain friends, and sometimes feel as if we are different.

At Risedale, there are many other pupils and adults just like me, who are from army

families. As there are such a huge number of us, we all feel like a community in the school working together to support each other during harder times.

In the past year living at Catterick, my dad has been away a lot. Near the end of 2021, he was in Belize for three months and he is currently in Eastern Europe until Easter. During these times where my dad isn’t home, I know that there are staff at Risedale that I can trust and speak to if I feel I’m struggling and need some support, along with my amazing circle of friends who are also service children, meaning that we all know what these experiences are like and how to support each other through it.

My first day at Risedale was overwhelming and scary but it’s the best place I could be. It’s where I belong.

Katie with headteacher Mr Scott

CHALLENGING CONTENTMENT

MY NAME is Sarah and my husband is a senior lance corporal in the army – and my absolute world.

Military families are different, and face unique challenges on a daily basis. Let’s start with moving every so often. Packing and cleaning your quarter until your eyes bleed, stressing about what your new neighbours are like – legends or the other type of ‘ends’ – schools, jobs, the area, the house you move into with the most hideous curtains known to man. Where do they even come from and who chooses them? Is there a secret factory somewhere that specialises in patterns that make you feel sick using material so thin it only has one side? Madness.

Often your spouse goes away and you worry about them natch – you tend to put on a brave face in public but behind closed doors when the kids are in bed you find solace in Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food, Wotsits and blood orange gin. Do you bother shaving your legs if no one is going to see

them? I blunted three razors the day before my Darren came home from a six- month tour.

If you dare to be ill, just die quietly in a corner, but before you do shuffle off this mortal coil, make sure you cut the grass, put the bins out and do the ironing, then pick the kids up from school, make their tea and packed lunches for tomorrow and do an online parents’ evening.

Somewhere in the midst of this try to hold down a job too. Your job is relevant – it brings home bare Ps (a term my teenagers use innit bru) into your household for one, and it helps keep you sane too. It’s just as important as theirs so when they’re waffling on about some random bod from work or come out with acronyms that the enigma machine couldn’t decipher, take a leaf out of my book and learn to sleep with your eyes open.

Then, there’s going to the mess. What exactly is the dress code for spouses? I’ve taped my boobs up so they were 20 years younger than me, poured myself into Spanx, had my

moustache threaded, worn my hair up so tight I couldn’t blink and worn a floor-length dress so uncomfortable I’ve had to be surgically removed.

Don’t even get me started on comfort breaks. If you have a bladder the size of a space hopper you’ll be fine but if, like me, you’ve had several children, you can’t hold a wee in like you used to because your gripper has gone.

And how about those ‘exercises’ laid on by the regiment designed to give us a taste of our spouses’ jobs – spending a night in the Ulu, pooing into a hole and learning how to perform a tactical advance does not appeal, particularly to those who are exserving themselves! Now a spa followed by a trip to a vineyard, sign me up.

Being part of an army family is hard, it’s amazing, it’s lifechanging, it’s emotional, it’s everything you didn’t know it would be but you know what?

We are strong together. So here’s to army families everywhere. Challenge accepted.

“Your job is just as important as theirs so when they’re waffling on about some random bod from work or come out with acronyms that the enigma machine couldn’t decipher, take a leaf out of my book and learn to sleep with your eyes open.”

Columnist @mynamessarah3 on the pros and cons of cracking ‘army’ life

Picture: Christian Lendl on Unsplash

Photo by lionel abrial